01x25 - Friends or Aunts

[bunniefuu]

- Ok. Here are your words.

If you're selected

To do something,

It means you are

Chosen to do it.

Knowledge is all of the things

That you know.

Rules tell us what to do.

If you are correct,

Then you're right.

But if you're incorrect,

Then you're wrong.

All right.

So we have...

Watch out for them

In today's show.

- Hmm-hmm-hmm.

- Hey, paul. Thanks.

- Mm.

-Oh, yeah, you got it,

Yeah, wh--

"Congratulations,

Annie scrambler."

- "Congratulations,

Lisa heffenbacher."

- "Bob bobson

Has selected you..."

- "To be a contestant...

- "On the next episode

Of the well-liked game show

'Friends or aunts.'"

- Aah!

I got it!

I got it!

Oh, I got it, yeah!

- Hector! Hector!

- What?

- Hey, aunt sandy,

Aunt sandy, aunt sandy.

- Check it out.

- "Friends or aunts"?

You got selected?

- Yeah. Bob bobson, the host,

Chose me.

"Friends or aunts"is, like,

It's, like, my third or fourth

Favorite game show.

- I have been selected

To be on the game show

"Friends or aunts."

Can you believe it?

- Oh! That's wonderful.

"Friends or aunts"is

A pretty watchable game show.

- I know!

I mean, it's like

Kinda sorta ok!

- Um, since you're my friend,

Do you want to be my partner?

- Seriously?

- Yeah.

- You're selecting me to be your

Friend on "friends or aunts"?

- What do you say? Oh!

- [Singing indistinctly]

Yeah!

- [Laughs]

- And guess what?

I get to choose

A friend or aunt to be

My partner on the show.

And guess who I select? You!

- Oh! It's the proudest

Moment of my life.

- [Indistinct chatter]

- Ok. I'll remember that.

- We just got selected

To be on "friends or aunts."

- Wait.

- What?

- We just got selected

To be on "friends or aunts."

- Stop that.

- No, you stop that.

- You stop that.

- So, I guess

It's us against you.

- Yup.

Oh, you guys have never met

My aunt sandy.

She's a hypnotist.

Just like uncle sigmund.

- I'm very good at what I do

And I also like to do what I do,

So I do that thing

That I do a lot.

Just so you know.

- Hey, you guys!

Oh, oh, oh, come on, yeah!

Feel the power,

Feel the power!

Feel the power!

Yo! And plug it in!

It's electric,

Electric company!

Get connected,

Electric company!

It's electric,

Electric company!

Get connected,

Electric company!

-Yo, yo, yo, yo!

The power we perfected is

Electrically connected

-Go, go...

So use it as directed

And expect to be respected

Just turn it on

And you will see

That you belong

In the company!

Feel the power,

Feel the power!

-Oh, feel the power!

-Feel the power!

-Yo! And plug it in...

-Plug it in, everybody!

-Feel the power!

-Yo! And plug it in...

Electric company!

Electric company!

Electric company!

- Ok. Now, if sandy

Tries to hypnotize us,

We know the plan, right?

- Right.

- So, why are you guys

So confident you're gonna win?

- Well, because the show

Is all about

The knowledge that

We have of each other,

And we know a lot.

- Yup.

- Yeah, yeah, sure, sure.

- Test us.

- All right.

Uh, what is hector's

Favorite breakfast?

- Don't look.

- Ok.

- I think she'll get this one.

- All right. Done.

- Ready?

- Yeah.

- My favorite breakfast is

Pancakes.

- You got it right.

- [Giggles] yes.

- Or as bob bobson would say...

- You...are correct.

- Lisa, hector.

Fancy bumping into you guys.

Well, we just wanted to stop by

And wish you luck.

Which reminds me that

My watch is broken

And maybe you can

Look at it very closely.

Look at it.

Look at the watch.

You are getting very....sleepy.

Sleep--sleepy.

[Snoring]

- Aunt sandy.

Get away from them.

- Oh.

Mama.

- Wake up, aunt sandy.

- [No audio]

- Wake up!

We need a new plan.

- Here's a wacky thought.

What if we played fair?

Just thinking out loud.

- Um, I don't think

We have enough knowledge

About each other.

We would get

All the answers wrong.

- Yeah, and then

Bob bobson will say,

"You are incorrect."

I can't do it.

- I think...we need to bring in

Some help.

- [Laughs]

Who?

- Thanks for

Meeting us, francine.

- Of course.

What do you need?

- You watch "friends or aunts"?

- Ha ha ha.

It's my fifth favorite

Game show.

- We need your help to win.

- What's in it for me?

- b*ating the electric company.

- That's a nice start, but I

Want a piece of the grand prize.

What is it?

- A washer/dryer, a subscription

To "modern aunts"magazine,

And a small bucket of money.

- How small?

- We don't know.

- If you win, I get

The washer, the dryer,

And the small bucket of money.

- That just leaves us

With the magazine.

- Correct.

It's a good magazine.

- That ain't gonna

Cut it, carruthers.

- Fine. I get the money,

And the dryer.

- What about the small bucket?

- It's yours.

[Cash register rings]

- Deal.

- [Beatboxing]

- [Beatboxing]

- [Imitating record scratching]

[Camera shutter clicks]

-Freedom to do

What you want to

Play with your friends

On a frosty afternoon

Fr-fr-fr-fr

Frequently, I do like

To freestyle

Makes me feel so free,

Don't you see

Fr-fr-fr-fr

Whenever you are

Feeling frustrated

Remember to take that frown

And turn it upside down

Ba ba ba...

Friend take a bullfrog

Confronting his frightening

Reaction to grapefruit

And now they are

Doing just fine

Fr fr fr

- So, what's happened so far?

- We were selected to be

On "friends or aunts."

- You were picked, too?

- Correct.

- What?

- Correct. That means

You're right.

- Hey, you guys.

- We're gonna win.

We have lots of knowledge

About each other.

Like, I know what your

Favorite breakfast is.

My brain is just full of

Information about you.

Knowledge, knowledge, knowledge!

- We're in trouble.

We don't know much

About each other.

- Our answers will be wrong.

They'll be incorrect.

- Let's practice.

Your favorite color is red.

- Incorrect. It's blue.

- [Buzz]

- We need help.

- Correct.

- [Ding]

- Oh, francine.

- [Giggles]

- Oh, welcome to

"Friends or aunts,"guys.

- Oh.

- Hello.

- Hey. I'm lisa.

This is my friend hector.

- Hey, what's up?

I'm howie.

You guys can head on back

To the studio,

And bob'll be right in.

- Awesome. Thanks, howie.

- Um, sweet.

- Ahh. Ha ha!

That's the soundproof booth.

- Yeah, well, this is

Bob bobson's microphone.

- Aah! Ha ha ha!

- You are correct.

[Chuckles]

- Bob bobson.

- That's right.

Say, are you the friend

Or the aunt?

- [Laughs]

- Huh?

- Hey, bob, isn't there

Supposed to be

A studio audience?

- You are incorrect.

- Oh.

- Watch this.

Little--little game show

Secret for you.

- [Recorded applause and cheers]

- There's your audience.

Howie runs this thing.

Where's howie?

Howie! Howie! Howie!

- Howie, you are getting

Very sleepy,

And you will listen to my voice.

When I snap my fingers,

You will stand in the corner

And sleep

For the entire show.

Understand?

- Totally.

[Snap]

[Snoring]

- All right. Francine.

- Let's do this.

[Ding]

[Ding]

[Ding]

- You ready, howie?

- [Hoarse voice] yeah.

[Clears throat]

[Normal voice] ready, bob.

- Yeah.

All right, let's make

A game show.

[Microphone feedback]

- It's time

For one of america's

Game shows--

"Friends or aunts."

And here's your host--

Bob bobson.

- [Laughs]

- Whoo-hoo-hoo!

- Oh, thank you.

Hello, hello.

And welcome to

The only game show

That tests your knowledge of

Your friend or your aunt.

[Recorded applause]

Let's meet today's contestants.

- Is it on?

- It just started.

- Wow. This is like my

Seventh favorite game show.

- With us we have

Lisa heffenbacher

And her friend hector...

- [Cheering]

- Go hector!

Go lisa.

- And over here we have

Annie scrambler

And her beautiful

Aunt sandy scrambler.

[Chuckles] ok,

Let's get started.

You know the rules.

The youngest contestant

Goes to the booth first,

So, lisa, that means you're up.

Into the booth you go.

Now, lisa, can you hear me?

[Chuckles] of course she can't.

She's in a soundproof booth.

- [Laughter]

- All right, hector.

You know the rules?

- Yeah.

- Then here we go.

Hector. What is lisa's

Favorite animal?

Write your answer now.

- Totally dogs.

Lisa loves dogs.

- Done.

- Done. That was quick.

Let's get lisa out here.

Lisa, comeon out.

Lisa, tell us, what is

Your favorite animal?

- Oh, easy, bob. Dog.

- Dogs. Ok, hector,

Show us what you wrote.

Pack mule.

[Buzz]

Pack mule.

- Pack mule?

- That's incorrect.

- No, dude.

I wrote dogs.

- Careful, dude.

You know the rules.

We deduct points

For complainers.

- [Laughs]

- Hector definitely

Has that knowledge.

There's something

Weird about this.

- We better go over there

And check it out.

- I have to hang back

And help out my dad here.

Good luck.

- Oh, I don't trust you,

Letter "c."

I don't trust you one bit.

One minute you're making

A hard "cuh"sound, like...

But whenever you get in front

Of an "i,"an "e,"or a "y,"

You totally change.

You start making

A soft "sss"sound, like...

Oh, I'm on to you, letter "c."

On to you.

From this moment on,

I will never

Use hard or soft "c"again,

Or my name isn't...

Francine carruthers.

There's a hard and soft "c"

In my name.

You know what letter I love?

The letter "c."

Best letter in the alphabet.

- Oh, this is a good word,

And it just goes

Round and round.

Let's see: it has "c"s in it.

Now, that first one

Is a soft "c,"

Because there's an "i"after it,

So it makes a "sss"sound.

So, "sss,""ih,""rrr."

No, it's "sir,"and now we get

To the second "c."

This one has an "l"after it,

So we know it makes

The hard "c"sound.

So, it's circ, circ le.

Circle. Circle 'round folks.

Yee-hah!

- Whoo!

-Ooh!

Shock, I love that b*at

Everything you beatbox

Sounds so sweet

But can you see what I see?

You're using the sounds

Of hard and soft "c"

"Cuh,"as in

Cacophony or coal...

-Was that a canary

Or a crow?

Soft "c"is also nice

At the end of words

Like "rice"or "twice"

It sounds like an "s,"

But take my advice

Sometimes you need that

Soft "c"to add that spice

- [Beatboxing]

-And when the sounds

Work together

The circus is in town

They run circles

Around this ground

The other letters fall back

This is just a little hard c,

Soft c, practice

- Sandy, come out of there.

- [Laughter]

- Oh, there she goes.

Ha ha.

All right.

We asked annie to write down

Her aunt's favorite snack.

What's your favorite snack?

- Well, i--i do quite like,

You know,

Those little, miniature pizzas.

They're about yea big.

- What's the snack, sandy?

- Pretzel sticks.

- Annie, what did you write?

- Aah!

- Pretzel sticks.

Correct.

[Ding]

Arbor day is correct.

[Ding]

Zoot suit. Incorrect.

[Buzz]

Turban is correct.

Incorrect

[Buzz]

Correct.

[Ding]

Keep trying.

[Buzz]

That's correct.

[Ding]

Incorrect.

[Buzz]

Figure skating. Correct.

Well, that brings annie

And sandy's score to

And hector and lisa's to zero.

Tough round for the friends,

But that's ok,

Because coming up,

We got the speed round,

Where we find out who wins

The washer/dryer combo,

The subscription to

"Modern aunt"magazine,

And the--uh, the, uh...

- Small bucket of money!

[Clears throat]

[Deep voice] small bucket

Of money, bob.

- Small bucket of money, yes.

Howie, thank you.

The small bucket of money.

So, stick around.

We'll be right back.

- That's francine.

That's francine.

That's francine.

- [Snoring]

- [No audio]

- Oh.

- [Recorded applause and cheers]

- Hello and we're back

With the speed round,

Where the rules are

Exactly the same

Except everyone

Talks really fast.

Hector and lisa, you've been

Selected to go first

Are you ready to go?

- Yes, bob, we're ready to go.

- [Indistinct]

- Going somewhere, francine?

- ...to go to the booth,

So, lisa, plug your ears,

Cover your eyes,

And hector, get ready

To answer this question.

Hector...

Writeyour answer.

- Oh!

- Why does it say "return of

The ninja aardvark part "

On the wall?

Howie. Howie!

Howie! Howie!

- Ohh. Bob.

Where are you, dude?

- "Brunch at stephanie's"

Is correct.

The friends are on the board.

Ok, here we go.

Cover your eyes.

Close your ears.

- [Indistinct]

- What?

[Indistinct]

- Francine!

- Howie, let's see

Arbor day. Incorrect.

- Arbor day?

I don't--what's arbor day?

- I thought you liked trees.

I just--

- Oh!

- [Gasping]

- Who are you?

- Long story.

- Hold this.

- Ok.

- All right.

- Wait. Come back.

- Francine--oh!

- Howie?

- Francine! D'oh!

Francine! I think.

- Howie?

- Bob.

- Uh...

- What's up, bob?

- Howie.

- This way, francine.

I mean, howie. Oops.

- H--uh.

Ha ha.

Just one second, america.

Howie, I want to show you

Something over here.

Look at this in here.

Ha ha. It locks.

- Bob, I'm trying to find my--

- Yeah, back to work,

Real howie.

- Ok, bob.

- Ok, we're back.

[Chimes]

- [Recorded cheers]

- Uh-oh.

You know what that sound means.

That sound means

We only have time

For one more question,

And that question

Goes to hector.

Cover them up, lisa.

For points and the win,

What is lisa's favorite lunch?

- Take your time over there.

Any day now.

- Done.

- He is done.

Lisa, what...is your

Favorite lunch?

- Turkey and swiss

On grain bread,

Hold the mayo with a pickle

On the side.

- Hector, your answer is...

Oh, turkey and swiss

On grain bread, hold the mayo,

With a dill pickle on the side.

It's correct.

- Yeah!

- Yeah!

- What a comeback

By the friends.

They have just won

"Friends or aunts."

I'm bob bobson saying

I'm bob bobson.

Good night, everybody.

[Applause]

- [Cheering]

-There's way

To see everything

My grandma used to say

And that rule applies to what

I'm singing here today

I'm talking about

The letter "c"

Come follow if you will

I learned this as a shorty

And it still gives me a thrill

Now, when the "c"is hard

It sounds just like a "k"

Make me wanna go...

-Cuh, cuh, cuh, cuh

-Now you say

-Cuh, cuh, cuh, cuh

-Now, when that "c"is soft

It sound just like an "s"

Oh, oh,

You'll get this

There's ways to say "c"

And it's always

Fine with me, oh

There's ways to say "c"

And either way is cool,

There's ways to say

Now, if a "c"comes before

An "e,""i,"or "y,"

That is when you know to give

The softer "c"a try

Say nice

-Nice, yeah

-Or peace

-Peace, yeah

-Bicycle, motorcycle,

Listen to me

Now, when that "c"

Comes before

An "l,""r,"or "t"

You'll probably want to use

The harder sounding

Kind of "c"

Say clap

-Clap, yeah

-Or crab

-Crab, whoa

-Subject

-Whoa, whoa

-Come on and sing with me

There's ways to say "c"

And it's always fine with me,

Oh oh

There's says to say "c"

And either way is cool

There's ways to say

- Wet cement?

I love fresh cement.

You can write stuff

In fresh cement.

- What are you doing?

I just poured that cement.

That was going to be my

Nice, new, concrete sidewalk.

You ruined it.

Whoooa!

- [Whimpers]

- [Beatboxing]

[Stops beatboxing]

- I'm special agent jack bowser.

I'm in a scoop of trouble

At the ice cream

Sprinkles factory.

It's about to explode,

And I can't cr*ck the code

To get out.

Help me read this.

[Alarm sounds]

- I guess when they say

A small bucket of money,

They really mean it.

- Mm-hmm.

- But there could be

A lot of money stuffed in there.

Open it.

- Ok.

Well, guess that's it. Ha.

- So, what are you gonna

Buy with the money?

- That's easy.

Smoothies for my friends.

- Or aunts.

- Wyclef, go ahead, turn it on.

-Company, that's

What we are

We represent the life

Of the ghetto superstar

Catch me on "electric company"

With my homies

This is shockwave

And I'm a refugee

-Wordplay

-Wordplay, we could

Do this all day

I like to give a big

Shout-out to b.k.

When I big k,

The wordplay is brooklyn

If I say n.j., I'm talking

About new jersey

Rockin', shockin',

Goin', showin'

Watch this: rockin', shockin',

Goin' showin'

[Indistinct] means

I love to tease

Knockin' [indistinct]

Rougher, tougher,

Not a bluffer

Money makin', lady takin'

Educated, uninvaded

Radiation, high inflation

Bells ringing,

People singing

On the mic,

I'm always bringing

Fast rapping, feet stamping

Hands clapping, [indistinct]

Sympathy, harmony,

Dignity as you can see

Million, billion

[Indistinct] trillion

[Indistinct] superstar,

Hold up

Let me take a breath,

Ain't nothin' left

- [Inhales and exhales]

- Wyclef. Crazy.

- Haaa!

- Ha ha ha.

- What?

- Lisa. Hector.

Fancy meeting you guys here.

[Laughter]

- We'll be right back.

[Coughing]

Choking on my own spit.

They have one missing.

What a comeback.

- Ooh! Yeah!

All right, all right.

, , , .

- [Singing indistinctly]

- Ahh!

-Oh.