03x10 - A Kanisky Christmas

[bunniefuu]

♪ Gimme a break, now I know what it takes ♪



♪ Gimme a break, now I know what it takes ♪


♪ I'm putting a new face on the old one ♪


♪ Ready for anything


♪ Playing with fate, not a moment too late ♪


♪ I'm showing the whole world nothing can get me down ♪


♪ O-o-o-oh


♪ Gimme a break


♪ Yeah, yeah ♪ gimme a break


♪ 'Cause I sure need one ♪ gimme a break


♪ Yeah, yeah ♪ I finally know where I belong ♪


♪ Gimme a break


♪ Yeah, yeah ♪ gimme a break


♪ 'Cause I sure need one ♪ gimme a break


♪ Yeah, yeah ♪ I finally know where I belong ♪


♪ Gimme a break!


♪ We wish you a merry christmas ♪ ♪ we wish you a merry christmas ♪


♪ We wish you a merry christmas and a happy new year ♪


Oh, joey, that was wonderful.


We sound just like donny and marie...


Just a little bit off-key.


Now do we get to open up the presents?


No, no, no, I told you.


You have two more days till christmas.


I guess I'm kind of anxious.


Oh, sweetheart.


This is your first real christmas.


Are you gonna cry again?


No, no, no. I'm all right.


Nell, where's samantha?


Oh, she's in the kitchen.


Oh, look at the tree!


How do you like it?


Oh, it's great.


The little bear with the drum is adorable.


I hung that up.


I put the snow on.


Who baked the gingerbread men?


Samantha.


I put the snow on.


I love the apples.


I put the snow on!


It's the only part of the tree I don't like.


Merry christmas.


People get so sensitive around the holidays.


Oh, joey, joey, we're gonna have such fun.


Oh, you know what?


Christmas eve is the best day


'Cause that's when santa comes down the chimney


With all the presents.


I'm not a kid. I know there's no santa claus.


No, honey, you're wrong.


No, no, no. There is a santa claus.


There is.


You know, when I was your age, I told my mama


I didn't believe there was a santa claus, either.


Well, you know what she did?


Christmas eve, she made me go downstairs


And take a plate of milk and cookies for santa claus


And some turnip greens and some ham hocks for rudolph.


Well, anyway, she was right,


'Cause the next day, on christmas day,


When I came down those steps,


There was all these presents under the tree,


And santa claus had taken the milk,


The cookies, and the turnip greens.


Wow!


And a bottle of my uncle willy's bourbon.


Do you really think I'll see santa this year?


Oh, honey, I promise you will.


And you know what else?


What?


Never mind. Let's go get some fruitcake.


Oh, I just love this time of the year.


This is when I miss my mama the most.


Oh, I miss my mama.


It's a time when families get together,


And they show how much they care about each other.


[ All shouting ]


See what I mean?


Sweethearts?


Sweet-- sweethearts?


What is it?


Well, we're each kicking in $ for christmas,


And katie is $ short.


Look, I am sorry. I can't afford it.


I'm over budget on presents for boyfriends.


Who cares about your boyfriends?!


Children? Children? Children?


[ Whistles ] children?


Honey, why don't you go upstairs and make your bed?


Oh, can't I stay and watch the girls yelling at each other?


Oh, honey, honey, they aren't yelling.


They're being jolly. Now, get out of here.


Okay. Now, I want to be jolly, too.


What are you animals trying to do --


Ruin the boy's christmas?!


We're just trying to get katie to put up her share.


Look, samantha...


Girls! Hey, girls! Wait, wait.


Hey! Hey!



You're missing the point.


The important thing is not the gift.


The important thing


Is a family being together on christmas eve.


Look, this is joey's first christmas.


Oh, didn't I tell you? I won't be here.


Say what?


Did you hear what your -- that -- huh?


I promised the hoffmans I'd babysit for them.


Yeah, I'm not gonna be around, either.


Pete hackett asked me out for christmas eve.


I mean, he finally asked me out.


Yeah, nell, and I'm going skiing.


See, nancy's parents have a cabin.


I can't wait. I'm gonna b*mb the mountain!


That's really wonderful.


She's going to babysit. She got a hot date.


She felt like going to some cabin.


I love this. I really love it.


Hey!


Nobody leaves this kitchen till new year's eve.


Come on, nell. I have to go skiing.


The whole g*ng is gonna be up there.


Besides, we asked daddy.


He said it was okay for us not to be home.


Girls...[Chuckles]


How many times must I tell you?


Don't listen to your father!


You cannot do this to joey.


Hey, don't you remember all the nice christmases


You had when you were little?


Nell, mom was here then.


It was a lot different.


But it was fun, katie.


Remember daddy playing santa claus?


That was daddy?


Yeah, except for the year that he had the flu.


Oh, right! Remember, mommy had to play santa claus.


That was mommy?!


See how much fun christmas can be?


Yeah, well, I guess pete will ask me out again...


Probably next christmas.


Thank you, julie.


Yeah, and I guess the hoffmans can find another babysitter.


You're such sweet girls. Thank you.


Look, look,


I'm sorry, but I'm gonna go skiing and have fun.


Christmas is not for fun!


It's a time to be with your family!


Hi, grandpapa.


Oh, nell, christmas shopping.


It's a real zoo out there. I'm lucky to be alive.


What happened?


Well, did you ever get caught between two women


Wrestling over the last cabbage patch doll?


Luckily I was able to b*at them off


With this roll of "peace on earth" wrapping paper.


Well, grandpapa, I cannot wait to see joey's face


When he sees all the presents I'm buying him.


Nell, you are spoiling that child.


I am not.


What are you gonna put in that -- a buick?


Hi, chief.


I see you got the tree decorated.


I put the snow on.


Ruins the whole tree for me.


Chief, listen, I have a problem.


Katie is not gonna be here for christmas eve.


You'll have to handle it, nell.


I'm not gonna be here myself.


I'm gonna be on duty that night.


Besides, ever since margaret d*ed,


Christmas doesn't mean that much to the girls.


Well, don't you think it's about time that it did?


Chief, we got little joey now.


He's never had a real family christmas.


It'll do us all good.


Well, I might be able to get off duty


For a little while.


Uh, your santa claus suit is still in the attic.


All right, all right. I'll do it.


I always liked playing santa claus.


Ho, ho, ho!


I still got it, nell.


You still do.


Yeah, you know, suddenly it feels like christmas.


Did you put out the money for the garbage collectors?


Last christmas, we forgot to tip them, remember?


And we were raking up coffee grounds and banana peels


Till the fourth of july.


Well, I got them covered this year.


I got envelopes for everybody.


[ Doorbell rings ]


Including the paper boy.


Throw his in the bushes.


Hiya, chief.


I'll be down in a second, simpson.


Simpson, have you been good this year?


Ho, ho, ho!


Pretty good.



Hee, hee, hee!


Simpson, what are you doing on christmas eve?


Well, my mother is in st. Louis.


I'll probably go bowling.


You usually get a good lane christmas eve.


Simpson, why don't you spend christmas eve here with us?


Oh, I'm not family.


Oh, but we think of you as family.


The chief don't.


Oh, yes, he does.


Honey, the chief thinks of you like sort of a...


...a son.


Let's go, simpson.


Right, dad.


Dad?


Chief, I told simpson that at christmastime,


Uh, you think of him as sort of a son.


Well, all right.


But on december th, you're up for adoption.


Oh, sweetheart,


Guess who else is gonna be here for christmas.


Who? Simpson.


Oh, great!


I always b*at him at checkers.


He forgets what color he is.


Hey, katie, you know what?


What?


Even simpson is gonna be here christmas eve!


Um, look, I'm sorry, joey,


But I'm not gonna be able to be here.


I promised some people I'd go skiing.


Aw, shucks.


See what you're doing? You're breaking his heart.


Come here, girls, come here. Look at your sisters.


Look at them -- something in their own beautiful way.


I can't breathe.


They don't even care that they can't breathe


Because they know the important thing is for this family


To be together at christmastime.


[ Telephone ringing ]


I'll get it. Move.


Hello?


Look, I'm in the middle of a family crisis.


I ain't got time to talk -- hey!


Crying ain't gonna do you no good.


Now, it costs too much money to be calling here from alabama.


I don't have time for you at christmas.


Now, goodbye, mama.


Now...where was i?


Uh, you were saying something


About families being together at christmastime.


Oh, yeah, that was just before you dumped your mother.


Wait, no, wait.


You lost me, nell. I'm babysitting.


I'm calling my date!


And I'm going skiing!


I think christmas stinks!


What is wrong with everybody here?


Am I the only one who likes the smell of chestnuts


Roasting on an open fire?


[ Doorbell buzzes ]


Jack frost nipping at your nose?


Yes?


Merry christmas.


I'm lester, your sanitation engineer.


Oh, yeah, I'll get your envelope.


Here.


$ ?


The rest of the block is giving $ .


Silly me.


I'm so sorry.


There's two $ s.


Wait a minute -- ? You said . That's an hour late.


That ruins everything.


All right, all right.


[ Car horn honks ]


They're here. Have a good christmas, you guys.


I'm leaving, nell.


You're really leaving?


Yeah, I am.


Well, be careful on the slopes and stay warm.


Oh, and katie? Yeah?


Merry christmas.


What are you doing?


These stockings are for the immediate family.


The moment you walk out of that door,


You become a distant relative.


Merry christmas.


Katie?


Katie!


Ka--


[ Car departs ]


What's katie's christmas stocking doing on the floor?


[ Sighs ]


Oh, I got mad because she went skiing,


And I threw it on the floor.


It was a childish thing for me to do.


Well, I better call the hoffmans


And find out what time they need me tonight.


Oh, and, nell, that was childish.



That's my stocking!


I have never seen you before in my life.


Hi, sweetheart.


I need your honest opinion, okay?


Do you think these shoes will go okay


With the dress I'm wearing tonight for my date?


Perfect. Perfect.


And here's a stocking to wear with them.


Nell, you've taken down our christmas stockings.


How could you do such a thing?


Oh, sweetheart.


The first one nearly broke my heart.


But with each stocking, it's getting easier.


Oh.


Merry christmas, nell.


Pop, I just hope you didn't spend a lot of money


On my christmas present.


I didn't.


Nell, I got some bad news. Something came up.


I'm not gonna be able to play santa claus.


Do you know what I've gone through


To make this night perfect for joey?


I have fought with the children I love.


I have fought long-distance with my mother, whom I love.


You can't do this to me.


The kid's young.


He'll have a lot more christmas eves.


Chief?


You can kiss your walnuts and your razor blades goodbye!


Gee, nell, it won't be christmas without your walnuts.


[ Door closes ]


Nell hi, sweetheart.


Well, it looks like it's just us.


Just us?


Yeah. They family won't be here.


We don't need them.


I never did like them, anyway.


Nell, santa's not gonna stop for just the two of us.


Oh, please, honey.


Joey, yes, he will.


Joey?


Joey! He will!


He likes me.


He likes me...


Ever since I left him those cookies and that bourbon.


Joey?


We have to leave. Is nell in the kitchen?


No, she's gone.


Gone? Where?


I don't know.


But this is christmas eve. That's not like nell.


[ Door opens ]


I have hunted high and low for nell.


Can't find her.


She's probably walking around, crying her heart out.


This is all my fault.


Because of my lack of consideration for my family,


I've driven nell out of the house.


Don't take all the blame, julie.


Samantha helped drive her into the streets, too.


Poor nell.


That's it. I'm calling the hoffmans.


They're gonna have to find themselves


Another babysitter tonight.


[ Doorbell rings ]


I'll get it.


Pete, hi.


Would you excuse me a minute?


My date with pete seems so insignificant now.


Pete, hi. It's christmas eve tonight.


That's what I came to tell you.


I can't go out with you.


That's what I came to tell you.


Well, you see, I don't think it would be right.


Is that what you came to tell me?


Not exactly.


My mother threatened to k*ll me if I went out tonight.


Merry christmas.


Merry christmas.


Hey! Guess what! I didn't have to babysit anyway.


Mrs. Hoffman has pneumonia. Isn't that great?


Well, there's the christmas spirit.


Now, if only we knew where nell is.


I think she's probably taking a little walk


To clear her head.


Well, come on, everybody.


Let's sing christmas songs.


How's "wish you a merry christmas"?


That's what nell always sings.


[ Chord plays ]


♪ We wish you a merry christmas ♪


♪ We wish you a merry christmas ♪


[ Doorbell rings ]


♪ We wish you a merry christmas and a happy new year ♪


Hark, I hear the yuletide carol.


Hi, simpson.


Yeah, hiya.


A merry christmas eve at the kaniskys.


Shut up, simpson.


Ho, ho, ho!



[ Bells jingling ]


Ho, ho, ho!


Merry christmas!


Is there a little boy here named joey?


Has he been naughty or nice?


You're not santa claus. You're aunt nell.


I give up.


[ Doorbell rings ]


I'll get it. I'm a member of the family.


It's my sister katie.


Katie?


Santa?


Look, we really haven't had a real christmas


Since mom d*ed.


I guess I was a little afraid of it.


But I think it's time we had one, huh?


Nell, what are you doing in my suit?


Chief, you're home early.


Yeah, I was lucky.


The plane got here on time after all.


Oh, great!


What plane?


The plane that brought your christmas present.


What?


The whole family chipped in.


The whole family?


Your present's out there on the porch.


[ Laughs ]


It's a trick, right?


It's a trick.


Ha ha!


Mama!


Nell?


Mama!


Mama! Oh, mama!


I'm so happy to see you.


It was so wonderful for you


To bring my mama to me for christmas.


Mama, I want you to meet our new christmas boy, okay?


Hi, mama.


Not you, simpson.


Come here, joey. This is my mama.


Hi, nell's mama.


Hey, this turned out to be a great christmas eve after all.


See? Just like I told you, right?


Merry christmas. Merry christmas.


Oh! What a gorgeous tree.


Who put the snow on?


I know who -- joey did.


Makes the whole tree for me.


All right, everybody.


Come on. Let's sing.


Joey, it's your christmas. You choose the song.


How about "rudolph, the red-nosed reindeer"?


You got it.


♪ Rudolph, the red-nosed reindeer ♪


♪ Silent night ♪ had a very shiny nose


♪ Holy night


♪ And if you ever saw it ♪ you could even say it glows


♪ Gimme a break


♪ Gimme a break