give me a break now I know what it takes
Oh
Logan would be not a moment to think
nowhere
jingle bells jingle bells jingle all the
way oh no it's open sleigh
boy I love the holiday season last night
I helped officer green black trim his
Hanukkah bush we decorated with all
these cute little matzo balls listen if
anybody wants any mistletoe I'm gonna
put it right over here huh hey Simpson
ah so Christmas cookies for Santa's
little helpers now how do you expect us
to trim this tree there isn't enough
tensile a bunch of the ornaments are
broken and that tree is much too full
you know Katie for a little helper you
got a big mouth now I know I'm sick but
may I lie down on the couch will watch
you trim the tree no get back upstairs
that's the Christmas spirit now calm
down Joey
aha did you see him run a sick little
boy couldn't run you know Joey you're
faking it because you don't want to go
shopping with me I am NOT
you are to faking it nobody that sick
could moaning loud hey everybody look
what Jonathan sent me for Christmas
Julie shouldn't have open that yet
Christmas isn't for three days I know
but it's our first Christmas as husband
and wife and I was anxious what is it
honey
you'd never guess well call me crazy but
that was on the tip of my tongue you're
on an archeological dig in the Yucatan I
imagine shopping is limited speaking of
shopping I'm sick of faking bored get
upstairs and get dressed
what makes you so sure he's faking
because he's a con artist
no that's a terrible thing to call him
listen daddy oh please oh you weren't
here when we met this little boy you
talk about your slick little
seven-year-olds he even had the chief
fooled
yes well hello down there hi what can I
do for you I'm collecting for Jerry's
kids Oh
Jill's come and I think I'm in love
isn't your doing anything you can give a
dime order anything oh I'll get my first
out the kitchen hey did anyone ever tell
you that you have Carol Channing's
hairdo
kitty sorry guy
sorry when you see this angel teeth take
a look at them yeah I see him kid
aren't you a little young to be up
collecting money by yourself couldn't
you leave me at least one licorice drop
do you live uh other side of town honey
you walked all the way over here from
the other side of town by yourself yes
man
you see what hey come on sit down
what is it here no it's nothing
you can tear you in now little fear oh
brother
mmm-hmm he's really one of Jerry's kids
oh and it's like I'm collecting for him
yeah and I was only gonna give you a
dollar here baby make it uh make it five
yeah he's really sick okay
Thanks here's a 10 just so you know the
police chief isn't cheap okay go my kid
brothers waiting for me and I want to be
there if he suddenly you know oh my god
that poor kid you know chief this just
makes you realize how lucky we are you
know it everybody I'm sorry if I was a
little rough on you when I came home hey
dad I love you came I'm gonna get rid of
whoever that is at the door so we can go
back to loving each other
I caught the Bunco artist chief he's
been using some phony story about
Jerry's kids your dirty crook his run I
don't believe that honest the kids a
real pro you know how many jerks in this
neighborhood have given him a lot of
money
but that was two years ago now Joey's a
different boy now listen daddy hello yes
we'll accept the charges
hiya Jonathan Merry Christmas did Julie
get the turquoise earrings I sent her
earrings uh maybe you should talk to
Julie Julie it's Jonathan bye jonathan
Merry Christmas here's Julie thanks hi
Jonathan we miss you I miss you and our
little soon to be hey I see lights you
on the Fiesta in there I'm on the
telephone Oh
how do you like your gift it's beautiful
I wanted to get you something that Noah
the woman in Glen Lawn had you were
overwhelmingly successful when I saw
your gift it just screamed your name
I screamed a little too and Julie
neither one was damaged in the mail were
they Jonathan there was only one one oh
no they're useless if you don't have two
of them I'd love another I know I packed
both earrings together earrings
Jonathan I've got the skull of a very
old man oh no I must have gotten the
packages mixed up Julie right now the
curator of the Museum of Natural History
is wearing turquoise earrings
well we'll get it straightened out I
love you and I love you and Julie this
is the last Christmas the three of us
will ever spend apart Merry Christmas
mr. Maxwell Feliz Navidad Senora Maxwell
Joey you have exactly two minutes to get
your butt upstairs and get dressed on
they'll be nice to the boy huh where's
your Christmas spirit
listen to Simpson well it is the holiday
season and holidays do bring out the
best in me not all holidays let's not
forget last Valentines
let me jog your memory you were in one
of your advice to the lovelorn moods and
we all head updates.thanks that's a good
turn II never had a deal wishes I know
it's still Valentine's Day hey you know
what I did I played Cupid uh-huh I made
six couples very happy tonight
everything now everything makes it five
I talked to lady lover Samantha what
hasn't it true you said tell Danny I'm
too young to neck well he respects you
doesn't he yeah he said he respects me
more than new specs any girl he's ever
met in his life and he never wants to
see me again
Oh Samantha baby June why you coming in
the back door because without my glasses
I couldn't find the front door
what's wrong Julie who are you Julie you
crying oh you and your advice network
I'll be right back Julie honey bus the
matter what Leonard hates me I couldn't
see without my glasses and I kept
kissing his brother
what is really good
hey you and your fights now honey hey
Katie Katie I spent the entire evening
trying to get Rick to mold me and you
know what he likes his girls already
molded double date now safe he'll take
the pressure off downstairs so I double
date my girl dances all night with
sergeant Gillespie here babies hands me
my belt yeah oh please I could be the
Avon lady yeah I make fair smooth well I
made the first move and you know what he
called me a he called me a worse
he called me a cab
I can guess what you're here ready come
on in the kitchen we're forming a lynch
mob a grandpa grandpa now you got a lot
to learn about black people you mean she
didn't like to change the cross on it
she's Jewish
so I'm not so good at Valentine's but
I'm great at Christmas I'm Joey oh yeah
leave the boy alone he's got a sick
stomach listen the grandpa Joey but I
just don't want you to ruin Christmas
for all of us how would I do that well
if you don't get off the couch I'm gonna
feel your Christmas stocking with
pepto-bismol
No there is only one person who is going
to ruin Christmas for all of us and
that's you oh yeah but Adi I have more
Christmas spirit in my little finger
than you got in that whole flat body of
yours oh really
yeah what would you like for me to tell
everyone about last Christmas at my
apartment now had the nerve to invite my
new neighbor over to Christmas dinner oh
so sorry I invited you here you're sorry
huh do you know why I'm here
they call it pity I am the only friend
you have ever had
listen Nell I have lost friends because
they knew I knew you
I have been your best friend since we
were nine years old and I didn't like
you then and I don't like you now
kleptomaniac you stole my Crayolas
well wait till you see what I'm stealing
this Christmas you know what our labels
and I don't need you I don't need your
friendship only just took my Christmas
get Oh
believe you actually threw a Christmas
tree out the window oh yeah well peace
on earth goodwill to nail the lights is
all connected I'm gonna chain on the
truth oh yeah that's the Christmas thing
you know the last thing I want to do is
a fight with my family but since when
look you're not a member of this family
I can fight what units on her want to
well have you forgotten how you fought
with Loretta when we went back to
Alabama for her wedding are you trying
to say that I don't get along with my
sister Loretta oh don't you remember all
the fun times we had you know let me
live in the past yeah I guess oh you
mean she got out this these old tanks of
mist or listened to she felt service to
you she's all over the tube you are not
gonna believe what I found in the Attic
Merrigan she's always be strange be
there
oh is that our old tape recorder and the
old tape is still on it listen take me
back to the 60
you know remember we're gonna be the
best girl trio ever we were here to sing
round
do you remember how we used for her stew
this is July we were gonna be bigger
than the Shirelles crystals Ronnie oh I
always dream we'd be the supreme I had
that that was my dream because I was
gonna be Diana Ross
Oh
Oh
Oh
maybe the one girl lobby
Oh
yeah
Oh
Oh
body always picking up
Oh
thanks for reminding you that it was a
beautiful wedding
yeah no why should tell him hey he's
just doing read over the head with her
wedding bouquet I thought you had a
stomachache boy
no no browbeating Joey is not gonna get
him off the couch oh well I guess you
think you know more about raising
children than me yes a lot more
yes you think you know more about
everything than I do don't you
well why don't you hang your Phi Beta
Kappa key and yourself on the tree yeah
I am not trying to get into an
intellectual discussion oh no of course
not not with damo nail are you
overreacting oh no honey you've been
putting me down since the moment you
walked in that door two years ago that's
not true come on at our liberate like it
was yesterday you wait till Mel finds
out that her old friend from Alabama is
a Phi Beta Kappa that's really special
thank you but it's not that special I'm
only one of thousands of today's black
women who are out there making it it
wasn't easy but thank God we finally put
to rest of those stereotypical image of
the black woman is nothing but an Aunt
Jemima
adhi why are you so hostile towards me
I'll tell you why I haven't seen you in
over 15 years you walk in here the first
thing you tell me I have an uneducated
housekeeper I think it go so flustered I
am a failure
as a modern black woman I was a scrappy
black woman's you won't get a house
no you shouldn't think of yourself as a
failure Oh what and I wanted to be like
you look at all those books I've read so
many books I can't even tell them I've
been w*r and peace well not all of them
but I help
Hemingway
I have always don't inferior to you I
still feel inferior to you my whole I
love it
no you should you still have the book of
poetry that I sent you I happen to like
the book in spite of your inscription
well what was wrong with the inscription
I'm surprised I got through the mail
what are you talking about
look I don't mind you calling me black
because she'll black too but you have no
right to call me illegitimate let me see
that
that's block buster
I'll phone Phi Beta Kappa girl you got
lousy handwriting no even when we're
fighting we have more fun than anybody
you know all this reminiscing is making
me hungry me too I'll make us a snack
good idea I'll make some coffee I'll
make some more popcorn I ate most of it
Joey I'm sorry I doubted you don't want
to come over here please ain't no hmm I
don't have a stomachache but I knew you
were faking it
yeah but there's a good reason for it
okay
that's a history well you see yesterday
I put the money I saved up to buy a
Christmas gift on the bag on my bike but
there was a hole in the bag
and when I got downtown all the money
had fallen out along the way
oh you see I figured if you thought I
was sick you wouldn't expect me to go
out and buy your present
Oh Joey you don't have to give me a gift
the fact that you wanted to is all the
Christmas that I ever need yeah but I
want so much to give you one don't worry
about it honey
you can give me a bigger gift at my
birthday now and now the mistletoe Oh
Merry Christmas I sold
keeping your brain
05x13 - Snippets
Watch/Buy Amazon Merchandise
Nell Harper is the no-nonsense housekeeper and surrogate mother for police chief Carl Kanisky's children: Samantha, Julie and Katie.
Nell Harper is the no-nonsense housekeeper and surrogate mother for police chief Carl Kanisky's children: Samantha, Julie and Katie.