05x14 - Second Chance: Part 1

[bunniefuu]

give me a break now I know what it takes

the old one leg in with me not a moment

too late

where

are you sure this thing's gonna work

lady you bought a twelve-year-old

toaster oven at a garage sale if you

want a guarantee buy a Chrysler huh why

are you selling my drug just what I'm

getting good ah don't touch the

merchandise kid hi grandpa here's my

stuff and you can have 10% of anything

you sell for me 20% you got a deal well

you always said I was like family oh

darling you are I think of you almost

like my own daughter 20% take it or

leave it

mr. nails college books what are they

doing here

oh you didn't hear she's dropping out of

college she can't do that where is she

in the house this is a nice sweater

I think I'll buy it for Sam's birthday

Katie that's Sam's sweater oh good then

I know it fits

won't let you do it I told you I want to

talk about this okay

no now what else can I give grandpa for

his garage sale let's see ah this all

stupid cause I hate it so tasteless

can't stand this thing maybe get some

money for it he can sell it for $25

that's what I paid for it when I gave it

to you well I guess they saw you coming

don't change the subject now why are you

quitting college daddy if I told you

once I told you twice I got passed over

for that child psychology training

courses Stanford okay so so so so

professor Barrett thought I wasn't good

enough he picked another student so

you're just going to quit the nail

harbor I know is not a quitter I can get

rid of this and maybe grandpoppy got

some money for the frame listen told you

I have walked into that campus for the

very last time I turned in my locker key

I destroyed my library card

I b*rned up a gym clothes I paid the

last twelve parking tickets a god I tell

you they don't have mail robber to kick

around anymore you listen to me you have

got all the talent to be a child

psychologist girl you're making a big

mistake

listen Adam I may not always be right

but I never wrong

hi inhale oh yeah hi Simpson no you

didn't forget about my friends did you

the ones with the rock-and-roll band

now what man well Simpson wants me to

have some of his friends who just got

out of prison get started show business

yeah it's a kind of sentimental thing

the piano player was my first arrest Oh

I arrested him for stealing a piano

helping ex-convicts that is wonderful

now I am so proud Oh get off it Addie

just because I'm not going to be a child

psychologist doesn't mean I can't help

people these people need me you know you

just to me the people prejudiced guys

anyone who spent any time in prison well

you could meet the leader in a few

minutes he's coming right over you mean

over here to this house now you know

what you're doing is so admirable you

know it's a shame working

yeah then why are you taking off your

bracelet was I yeah put it back on and

put your ring back on - I saw you take

it off you see this is the thing that

this man come up against every day now

it's our responsibility to forget the

past and accept them for what they are

clear little oh look at me when these

men get here I want you to please don't

say anything that will remind them of a

prison okay Oh Nell please give me a

little credit

I've been around the block don't say

block that must be Jack I'll get it

listen Abby now you make these people

feel real comfortable okay and watch

your mouth k*ller he's very likeable

he got time off for good behavior

come on to him thanks now daddy this is

Jack Grady

he's the leader at the band ah nice to

meet you

nice meeting you why don't we all just

sit down oh okay

Simpson why don't you and I sit on the

couch Jack will give you the chair

you'll be more comfortable sitting on

the couch it's all right people get a

little nervous around guys like me uh

well I think that's criminal so do you

have any trouble finding the place Jack

now it's Lakers had to stop at the

Department of Motor Vehicles Teddy get a

new drivers license mine expired it

reminds me I have to go there tomorrow

to pick up my new license plates that's

all right

I made them I'm father

that we both are aren't we Cyril see oh

yeah see I was in solitary for a while

that's when I made up Cyril oh isn't

that sweet

here's somebody who talked to a friend

he kind of saved my life

didn't you Cyril mm-hmm well I guess if

he saved your life it's why said you

kept him as a friend

yeah I don't know without Cyril in my

music prison would have been a big waste

of time

I wrote a song in there you like to take

a look at it huh I'm gonna make it easy

oh nice title everywhere you go your

eyes are in motion just don't think

you're singing it too fast no I'm sorry

oh I'm sorry sale here thanks Jackie is

so lucky to happen else hell yeah you

know she used to be in show business a

long time ago we would think of her as

kind of like the Liza Minnelli a Glenn

lor

help you and Saral it's now so Jack Oh

what's the name of your band uh we named

the group after a couple of prison

guards who were nice enough to find us a

room to rehearse in oh it's sweet I call

ourselves the dirty screws well as

lovely as that name is I think you

should try to get something that's more

appropriate you know that says you're

starting over you know you're needing a

second chance

ah the second time around now this

sounds like you only do weddings dad hey

why not just second chance second chance

yeah he likes it I never lose em is one

in a million

well you got the name you got the band

all you need now is some place to say

wait a minute I think I got that you

know tonight is Emma tonight and I'll

skip a boy's house that's all right

I'll just go skipper oh they got a great

piano bar yeah the pianist chained to

the floor you know skipper Duane's is a

great place to discover new talent just

stay away from the sea bass

asked me to skip a train please you know

I can't believe you people are doing

this for me

hi skipper Snell Hoffa hi I'm calling to

give you first cr*ck at a sensational

new rock group uh-huh

well of course they have been that old

poodle ACK oh who cares they bark and

break glasses honey Ella Fitzgerald's

been doing that for years

oh you're gonna love him the name of the

group is second chance uh as a matter of

fact they do have a record

I don't believe it I really pulled it

off it's all set

Oh son yeah whole set oh sorry Cyril I

hope you didn't give him a call hey no

you're wonderful I know we're not making

any money yet but would you consider

being our manager oh please I I don't

want a job all I want you to do is go

out there tonight and k*ll him

I'm gonna go tell the guy I'll give you

a ride in the squad car okay you could

even sit up front away from the dog

he wants you to be his manager

that's silly cuz we both know you're

going back to college right now no NIF

no no I'm not going back to college

now I done my man Achilles I'm just so

sick of all the disappointments I am I

am NOT going to be a child psychologist

and I'm not going back to college you're

really serious

well I think that's so sad sad look

what's so sad about me being a personal

manager is perfect for me I mean after

all these years of running everybody's

life I'm finally gonna be paid for it

Karlsson xylophone

Keiko's ball-bouncing roofie you know

ladies and gentlemen it's always a

pleasure here on Amateur Night at

skipper Duane's house of halibut to

introduce real talent like the new da

sisters and so here they are to sing

their way into your hearts and endear

ala 'but the doo-dah sisters

- jab mine

go

yeah I know over here oh honey you

should see the crowd out there they're

terrific you're gonna be terrific gotta

give you a little nervous oh I know

crowds always make me feel nervous too

the crowds don't bother me no Cyril and

I just spent nine years in a small cell

with a large man named Bubba never in a

million years who I just saw sitting in

the audience who Gary Gary caller oh I

wonder if he's really that sweet in real

life who's Gary oh you're wonderful now

our first night you got Gary Collins to

come to the show huh he must be the best

manager in show business well some

people are born great some people become

great and some people have greatness

thrust upon them at all

well it really is Gary coughs what'd I

tell you go I was born to be a manager

come on Mel it's it's just a coincidence

that Gary Collins is here tonight get

off it

addy its feet I tell you somebody up

there loves me I am going to get second

chance

on Gary Collins our magazine you think

you can oh honey just begin then after

that I'm gonna get him with all the

network shows then the Atlantic City

Reno Las Vegas and then at the end of

the year Christmas at the white house

second chance sings silent night did I

tell you warning message is gonna cry

their eyes red White House well you wear

think now pip even seen and breaker

glass hello mister clients I am male

hopper of mill Harper personal

management London Paris New York and

Glen lon

how do you do how do you do now I've

already got personal matter

thanks anyway

put it again

gracias Pepe gracias oh now ladies and

gentlemen we have a real treat for you

because in our audience tonight is one

of America's favorite television hosts

and the man that got the last order of

sand dabs the host of our magazine mr.

Gary Collins

and all folks will take a short break so

that you can all order dessert you might

want to try our carp Suzette just for

the halibut Gary I can't tell you what

an honor it is to have you drive all the

way to Glen lon

just to eat it skipper Duane's house of

halibut well actually I was just driving

through your city and my transmission

fell out right in front of your

restaurant que sera sera

but seriously Gary not be honest how

were the sand dabs

chewy may I quote you on that I believe

I can just make this week's edition of

dining out in Glen lon well forget the

fish I wish I could look in a few

minutes you're gonna see a brand new act

called second chance and you're just

going to love them yeah that's what the

waiter said about the sand dabs

now you really are gonna like this guy

say great look I'd love to hear them but

I've got to get going I'm late waiter I

have the check please

Oh Gary listen mr. Collins please know

I'm late already I've got at least I'll

have them on just a few minute you just

please just waiting one minute please

please okay Wow second chance has got to

go on next oh I'm sorry that's

impossible the next act is sterling

silver and his musical spoons

you must be mr. sterling silver and his

musical spoons yeah hi I'm no Harper it

was wonderful

me I see you spoons for Mama sure off

you're gorgeous

oh you know you can't go on with these

gonna dig out water spots let me just

okay oh look what I did

listen I'll get somebody go on in your

place while you straighten those out

okay

please

you

what do you want to have him on your

show

have you tried booking them on Letterman

come on seriously nobody at fame the

sand dabs were better sorry

oh wait wait I know they were a little

rusted but they just got out of prison

Erik's comics mm-hmm

trying to rehabilitate themselves of the

band yeah that's interesting that's

America Gary love it or leave it

well oh come on give second chance a

second chance they won't play that same

number again Willy that song is terrible

Oh No they just did that you know we

tested the mic so see if they were on

they were oh come on now I got the car

running ally we can sneak out of here

before anybody finds out you with second

chance and you can forget this manager

nonsense oh please

Gary Collins loved them he loved them so

much he wants to sing another song in

fact he wants them on the show

what show Letterman you trying to tell

me to know more about show business Gary

Collins well I just want a chair he

loves him so much and he is thinking of

changing name again show from our

magazine - to our magazine

he's thinking of doing one hour some

from Hollywood and one hour from Glen

line he has got to be putting you on

oh yeah well he's also thinking of

giving up his personal management and

going with me he said that yeah but you

know I'm just dragging my feet cuz I eat

oh I just want to concentrate on my

musical acts right now do you love me

even though I lied

since of what are you doing I just came

back to congratulate Jack I don't know

what for song was awful it was terrible

I hated that song no don't say that now

jack is very sensitive very emotional he

was in prison for a crime of passion a

crime of passion

he k*lled the music critic or said he

didn't like one of Jack's songs channel

Jack no Jack here that was your voice I

heard I think it's time we had a little

talk isn't it Cyril ah Jack why don't

you open the door before you do

something you feel sorry for you no

third chance is a lousy name for a group

what am I talking about I don't know

what I'm talking about I just opened my

mouth of words just come out it just as

it is to you

well why don't you just open the door I

promise it's dancer Gary Collins No Oh

Oh Jack please open the door

no I can't take a chance on someone

walking in on us Jack Jack Jack listen

to me listen to me Jack listen to me

you're not listen to me are you

listening yeah okay what are you here

nothing ah hey are you here's the sound

of two hearts b*ating right let's keep

it that way

Jack stop it please

you're not listening

classy yeah I picked it up for my old

cellmate big Bubba when he said floss

you flossed you are actually flossing

yeah our cell had 32 percent fewer

cavities hey why don't you just open it

to us like you'll brush my teeth up no

okay

no yeah I can't play the guitar

what yeah I'm sorry I like the door but

I didn't want somebody to walk in when I

was confessing to you I can't play the

guitar I faked it the other guys play

the music I just move my hands of my

hips

they said how would you have to tell me

yeah

you think I'm dirt right it's just that

huh you see I thought

I thought you were gonna k*ll me yeah

yeah yeah see I thought you were gonna

k*ll me what I said I hated your song

you paid my song who say it there

you

in your brain

you