01x15 - Ivan the Terrible

[bunniefuu]

Previously on So Help Me Todd

- He's my client.

- It's the mayor.

It seems like just yesterday

that you were my secretary.

I'm not a client.

You're not? Then who are you?

Oh, you're Peter.

Hey.

(TYPING ON KEYBOARD)


(ALARM BLARING)


Crap. Ivan the Terrible. He's back.

- What area?

- 115-G.

He must've left a backdoor

after his last hack.

Found him. Damn, he's inside.

He's set up 30 proxy servers.

He's bouncing everywhere.

I caught his thread.

- Watch out for the decoy.

- Yeah, I see it.

God, he's good.

I've got a lock.

We've got a location on Ivan.

Sending the address to

agents in the area now.

Are we gonna get him? Are

we gonna finally catch Ivan?

(ELEVATOR BELL DINGS)


Oh, well

good morning.

Hey, did you leave a copy

of Zen and the Art of

Motorcycle Maintenance

in the conference room yesterday?

Your initials, "L.B."

which also means "pound," by the way

were on the inside cover.

- It is 9:00 a.m.

- Okay, and ?

And yes, I'm in a book club.

Really? Oh, okay.

I'm sorry, I just can't

imagine you reading anything

that doesn't involve blaster

wounds from Star Trek.

Phaser wounds. Star Wars is blasters.

And my point exactly. What is your

- (CELL PHONE CHIMING)


- Oh, oh.

TODD: Oh, motion detected.

You have a nanny cam in your nook?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I just installed it.

Don't make a big deal out of it, okay?

Look, look. That is

the "Forbidden Drawer."

The one you told me on my very

first day I can never touch or open.

No one's allowed to touch or

open that drawer. Not me, not you.

But Agnes can?

Why didn't you report

this to me immediately?

Because you never

believe anything I say.

- (ELEVATOR BELL DINGS)


- True.

Ooh, but look, look, Lyle.

Lyle, look. Every Tuesday,

Agnes sneaks in there,

takes files from that drawer,

and puts them in a big blue envelope.

And then, every other Thursday,

she sneaks the files back in.

I'm the only one who's noticing

because you stuck me in there.

So, what's going on?

Is she stealing high-level firm secrets?

Oh, yes, yes.

She's probably a dangerous Russian mole.

My God, I hadn't even considered

an international angle.

We've been stagnant for

too long. We need to evolve.

Then let's expand to places that matter.

San Francisco, Seattle.

Denver makes no sense.

Do we have any projections?

It makes perfect

business sense, Beverly.

- You just lack vision.

- BEVERLY: Oh, please.

You wouldn't know business

sense if it bit you on your

(DANCE MUSIC PLAYING OVER CELL PHONE)


- (CHA-CHING SOUND EFFECT)


- (CARTOON RABBIT LAUGHS)


Oh.

- RABBIT: You got paid.

- Oh. I'm I'm sorry.

- (CHA-CHING SOUND EFFECT)
-

RABBIT: (LAUGHS)
You got paid.

Sorry, I So sorry.

- Um I'm sorry.

- RABBIT: (LAUGHS)
You got paid.

Still making lots of noise.

Okay, just, excuse me.

I'll just be right back.

Oh, this is not my scarf.

I don't have that.

Hey.

Hi. Um

Hey. (CHUCKLES)


Hello. Hello?

Hello.

Is there anything

you'd like to say to me?

Or discuss?

About what

happened?

No.

- (CHA-CHING SOUND EFFECT)


- Why?

RABBIT: (LAUGHS)
You got paid.

(BOTH GASP)


Oh, my God, Mom. I'm sorry.

- (SCREAMS)
Todd, my blouse. Uh

- Ah. Okay.

Come-come-come-come

here. Come, come, come.

- Okay, hold on. I have stuff.

- Oh, gosh.

Hold on. Um no.

- Get if off, get it off.

- Here, here, here.

- Get it off.

- Um

Uh Get it off.

Don't wipe, don't wipe. Lift, lift.

- Okay, well, I don't know

- Not me,

you ding-dong, no. Just give me that.

Oh, never mind.

- Stained forever.

- Wait, what is that sound?

Is that your phone?

Yes, it is. I don't

know what's happening,

so I came to ask you.

This bunny has been

screaming at me for

the last five minutes.

- Is that a virus?

- No.

Someone named "Ivan the Terrible"

just paid you two crypto coins?

Why would Ivan the

Terrible pay me 50 cents?

No, Mom, two cryptos is like $30,000.

It's a virtual payment using blockchain.

Blockchain? I don't understand.

Eh, no one does. It's like

explaining time travel.

- Okay.

- FRANCEY: Oh, there you are.

- Margaret

- Yes?

the Federal Detention Center called.

Somebody claiming to be

your client is in custody

and asking to speak with you.

Your client "Ivan the Terrible"?

And every other Thursday,

Agnes leaves after

lunch with, guess what?

I'm gonna go out on a limb

and say, "Blue envelope."

Yes. So, there's an empty drawer,

an envelope,

Agnes is snooping around, but why?

I'm telling you, something

fishy is going on.

The only thing going on is you having

too much time on your hands.

And why would this Ivan the Terrible

send me $30,000 out of nowhere?

Who is he?

He is a super-hacker extraordinaire.

I checked out some message boards.

Guy's an absolute legend.

Well, he has been

charged with five counts

of violating the Espionage Act,

stealing defense files,

he's looking at 30 years,

and I am not representing him.

I mean, who sends "cr*ck-to"

currency like that?

- Crypto currency.

- Crypto. Well, it's crap either way.

And then files papers saying that

I'm his attorney when I am not.

I just want to clear this

all up and get out of here.

(GASPS)
Wait, Todd. Stop.

It's her.

Natalie Harris.

One of my tri-delt

college friends. (GROANS)


And the most conniving

woman you'll ever meet.

You have a nemesis?

Yes, well, we competed at everything.

Debate, field hockey, boys.

And it pains me to say that

I was often on the losing end.

Because she was smarter?

Because she played dirty.

You know, I have to say,

I have a little bit more respect for you

knowing you're this passionate

about an arch-frenemy.

Is that Margaret Fairway?

(WESTERN SHOWDOWN MUSIC PLAYING)


You haven't changed a bit.

Margaret, I hear you're an attorney now.

A career change so

late in life, how brave.

- And this is?

- My son, Todd.

You must be very proud.

Wow. I really am.

Me and the girls at the

sorority house called your mother

"The Little Engine That Could."

Oh.

- No matter how big she'd fail,

she'd just keep on trying.

It was so cute.

(ALL LAUGH)


And-and you're still with

the Department of Justice?

- An Assistant U.S. Attorney?

- Yes, that's right.

Oh. (CHUCKLES)
Well,

none of us ever doubted

that Natalie would make it.

She was always willing to do

anything just short of m*rder to win.

Maybe even that.

(ALL LAUGH)


Well, I'm questioning a suspect,

a hacker on the NSA's most wanted list.

A tiny bit more complex

than the slip-and-falls I'm

sure you're wrestling with,

but you'll get there in time.

Ivan the Terrible?

Yes, that's the one.

Oh.

Well, I hate to pop

your balloon, Natalie,

but that's my client.

- But you said

- And no one talks to Ivan but me.

Are you sure you're ready to

take on the U.S. Government?

You've been practicing for, what,

seven minutes?

It was so nice to see

you again, Natalie.

Until court, then. (CHUCKLES)


Oh, yay, you came! I was worried

because I feel like I've

been here for a million years,

but you made it.

You're Ivan the Terrible?

That's just my handle.

I was gonna be "NOOHASF,"

"Number One Original Harry

Styles Fan," but it felt basic.

I'm just Ava Morgan, IRL.

"In real life." Wait, so,

you're the one who hacked

the Department of Defense?

Oh, my God, I know, but

they totally deserved it.

Okay.

Uh, well, let's just back up here.

- I'm Margaret

- AVA: Wright.

Filed for divorce two months ago. Sorry.

You've got a stellar win-rate

of 93%, don't like carnations,

and your Yelp reviews are awesome,

five stars, and it's super cool

you work with your

family, which makes you

- Todd.

- AVA: Todd.

Only 334 hours before

getting your PI license back.

You live in your sister's garage,

which seems kind of sketch, TBH.

"To be honest."

Wait, so it was you who hacked

the Miss Universe pageant?

Ugh, like a million years ago.

I was in this lame make-up-y stage.

Uh-huh. And and

where are your parents?

I sort of don't have any.

I mean, I did have a mom,

but she d*ed a few years ago,

and then I had a bunch of

different foster parents,

nothing tragic, but they were extra,

so I emancipated myself at 17.

And how do you support yourself?

Yeah, where'd you get all the

money for these crypto coins?

Companies hire me to fix

their computer security.

I'm a white hat hacker, totally legal.

(CHUCKLES)
Hacking into the

Department of Defense is not legal.

AVA: They are the worst.

Did you know they put

dangerous chemicals

underneath the Laurelhurst Zoo?

- Was not aware.

- No, I didn't.

And animals got sick.

I was gonna give the

information to the news,

but I got sloppy and forgot

the first rule of hacking

everything leaves a trace.

- Oh.

- AVA: That government lawyer lady who was

just here with the tragic

sense of style seems really mad.

I was just trying to

help the animals, I swear.

Oh, and I have this.

It's proof.

All the hidden Defense

Department files about the zoo,

but nobody knows I kept a copy.

- Ooh

- This could make our case, right?

Yes. Well, we'll just

take a little peek,

um, before we return it, of course.

Uh, but let's get you out of here first.

The federal government has

declared w*r on my client,

a teenager.

And to suggest that she be detained

throughout these

proceedings is frankly cruel.

NATALIE: The defendant is dangerous

with no ties to the area or

family and is a flight risk.

And she was previously convicted

of hacking Crystal Bay Tuna Company.

- Objection.

- Because of the mercury poisoning.

Ms. Harris should not have divulged

that information in a public hearing.

Ava was only 12 at the time.

That record was sealed.

Agreed. But as a condition

to her release and to ensure

she does not go online,

she must be supervised 24 hours a day.

No Internet.

That is acceptable to the defense.

NATALIE: Actually, Your Honor,

it's come to our attention the

defendant's counsel is in possession

of stolen, classified

government property.

Well, how did you know

Is this correct, Counselor?

My client was acting as

a de facto whistleblower

attempting to expose the

U.S. Government's crime

in illegally storing harmful chemicals

and endangering the public's safety.

Under the WPA,

she is entitled to

protection from retaliation

and access to evidence

to use in her defense.

It's a complicated issue.

We'll schedule an evidentiary hearing.

Until then,

I'll hold the documents here.

- I've got bad news and news.

- Uh-huh.

Judge Reece took the thumb

drive. We have no evidence.

We're starting from scratch.

Okay. And the other news?

You are babysitting Ava for

the duration of the trial.

Wait, what? No. I can't babysit.

You don't put a

thoroughbred behind a plow.

- Won't you need me?

- Well, Lyle will handle the investigation.

- (SIGHS)
Lyle.

- And this will be a good lesson for you.

Being responsible for

somebody else for a change.

Being the adult.

And no more of that

blue envelope nonsense.

AVA: I'm starving. When's lunch?

Are we gonna be staying in your

sister's garage the entire time?

Because that would be so tragic.

I don't really eat

meat, unless it's bacon,

but I could make an exception,

but you should really watch

those dark web videos about

how hamburgers are made.

So intense.

You look kind of pale. Are you okay?

Is it the m*rder hamburgers?

You don't really have to

watch it. It's just interesting

because cows are my

favorite kind of farm animal.

SONG: This is insanity.

Representing a notorious hacker

against the Department of Justice?

Alistair, I share some of your concerns,

but our client is acting

as a whistleblower.

Don't you understand

how difficult these cases are to win?

I'm worried you've bitten

off more than you can chew.

Ah. I'm guessing you've been contacted

by Assistant U.S. Attorney Harris,

under the guise of

professional courtesy, no doubt.

You're putting a bullseye

on the firm's back.

We don't want to get audited, do we?

So now we're taking advice

from opposing counsel?

This isn't a discussion.

You are forbidden from

continuing with this case.

Forbidden? Forbidden?

Ignore the man. He's been an anchor

around this firm's neck for years.

- I'll take care of it.

- He was very definitive.

This is exactly the type of

case you should be pursuing.

Alistair may have helped

launch your career,

but when your name has

come up for promotion,

he hasn't been quite so supportive.

I don't think he's comfortable

with his former

secretary surpassing him.

- Wow. I had no idea

- I know.

Ask yourself,

why isn't your name above the door?

TODD: Of course, Mr. Millis.

We'll fix it right away.

Thank you. That was

the downstairs neighbor.

Did you re-program the elevator

to only stop on this floor?

Um, yeah, and you're welcome.

It's super convenient now.

Yeah, for us.

Exactly.

- And-and what's going on here with these ?

- (LIGHT SWITCH CLICKS)


Oh, my God, did you

break all of these lamps?

Actually, I fixed them.

What's the point of having a

smart speaker if you don't use it?

Lumos Maxima.

BOTH: Like in Harry Potter.

Okay, uh, that is

cool, but, uh Lumos Minima? Whoa.

Okay, no, no. New rule,

from now on, don't touch anything

with a power source, okay?

Ugh, that's so boring.

And if I don't find out what

Harry Styles is wearing today,

- I will die.

- What?

- Can you look for me?

- No.

- You can just describe it to me.

- No, I'm not doing that.

- Please

- No. What

This is a sickness.

I'm not feeding this addiction, okay?

Something is seriously

Okay, anything to make you stop.

What am I doing here?

Go to "Harry Style's

Style dot com slash style."

- Wow, three "styles." Interesting.

- Mm-hmm.

Well, he was wearing

a few outfits today.

This shirt is, uh, brown.

- Okay.

- Uh, it it's brown-ish.

- And?

- And, like, a collar

- that's kind of asymmetrical.

- And?

I don't know. It's not

all going in one direction.

- What color is it?

- It's a it's a

- it's like a creamsicle brown.

- (KNOCK ON DOOR)


Ugh, you're so bad at this.

- (CELL PHONE CHIMING)


- Wait, hey, hold on a second.

It's not even Tuesday.

SONG: Don't let anyone see you.

Song.

- AVA: Thanks. Bye.

- (DOOR CLOSES)


Did you order a pizza?

Hold on, James & The Giant Pepperoni?

It's my fave.

How did you even

SMART FRIDGE: Your pizza is delivered.

Did you hack the fridge?

Oh, my God, relax.

It uses an RFID system

to know when you're out of

milk, so I just tweaked it

to know when we're out of pizza.

There's a stupid simple

motherboard in the back.

Okay, no, no, no, no. New, new rule:

don't go near the fridge

and don't eat that.

That is illegal pizza.

Oh, my God.

MARGARET: If we can

prove that the government

stored dangerous

chemicals on public land,

that is a clear violation of

the Solid Waste Disposal Act.

And no court will convict

"Ava the whistleblower"

for trying to stop the

government from hurting people.

- Nope.

- (SNEEZES)


Good God, Lyle.

- What happened to you?

- Apparently, I'm allergic to zebras.

- You went to the zoo?

- Yes.

And I learned that zoo

employees had to evacuate

because of a supposed gas

leak about eight months ago,

but the gas company has no record of it.

SUSAN: Ooh, wait, wait, wait,

wait. In her witness affidavit,

Ava claimed that she saw

a DOD memo authorizing

a "cleaning crew" being sent to the zoo.

They created a gas leak,

so the employees would evacuate the zoo.

Has anyone fallen ill at the zoo?

- (SNEEZES)


- Good God. Bless you.

Four buffalo d*ed recently.

They blame it on algae in the water.

They're just covering their tracks.

And how did Natalie know

that we had Ava's thumb drive

with all the proof on it?

Maybe they didn't know about it.

Until Ava mentioned it to us.

Do you think that it's

possible that Natalie

was listening in on us

in the interrogation room?

- SUSAN: That's illegal.

- Uh, seems awfully extreme.

MARGARET: Oh

You don't know Natalie.

She is up to her old dirty

tricks again. I can feel it.

We're going to have

to be very aggressive

if we want to b*at her.

Francey.

Uh, how aggressive are we talking?

Well, if she listened in

on a privileged conversation

with my client, then that

is grounds to remove her

as a prosecutor. Francey!

Uh, Margaret, I don't

think that's a good idea.

Susan, how else do

you explain the timing?

She is a cheater.

Francey, I need you to set an

emergency hearing with Judge Reece.

- Right now?

- Yes.

- We should really rethink

- And tell Todd

to meet me at the court.

- Can somebody tell me what's going on?

- (ELEVATOR BELL DINGS)


We have a snake to catch.

(SNEEZES)


MARGARET: Bless you.

(CAR RADIO STATIONS SWITCHING RAPIDLY)


Will you please stop

changing all the presets?

I don't want to hear

Justin Bieber constantly.

Stop. I like classic rock

and I like smooth jazz.

Just leave my presets alone, please.

Not to be mean, but your

car kind of makes me sad.

Yeah, me, too.

But when I save up

enough, I plan to get a

BOTH: 1969 maroon Mustang.

One of the jail guards was nice

and let me borrow his phone.

I may have looked at

your search history.

Really? Well, word to the wise,

don't look at people's stuff,

okay? Oh, hey, there she is.

Agnes with that blue envelope.

Where is she going? Hold on a second.

What are you doing? I thought

we had to be at court right away.

Yeah, well, the hearing's

not for another two hours,

so we're taking a little

fact-finding detour.

And you are not allowed

to touch anything.

There you go.

AVA: What are we doing here?

Follow me. Be cool.

- Next.

- Hi, there.

Oh, no. Use the stanchions, please.

- What? Seriously?

- Yup.

They're there for a reason.

Okay, here I go.

Hey. Uh, that was my

colleague that you just helped.

Agnes. Kind of yea tall,

not a big fan of smiling.

Has kind of a this face.

Yeah, like that. Anyway,

poor thing, she's not

completely with it anymore,

and she always forgets to get

a copy of the deposit slip,

so if we could just get that

So, you work with her? Both of you?

Yes, this is our summer intern.

- Yeah, I'm super into the law.

- That's right.

And we've turned casual

Friday into a whole month.

- (CHUCKLES)


- How old are you?

Excuse me. Don't answer

that. Don't ask that.

You know, reverse age discrimination

is not a victimless crime.

No. No, no.

I mean, seriously, it's the

21st century. How dare you?

Yeah. It's gross.

I am so sorry. You're absolutely right.

Let me (CLEARS THROAT)


let me print that for you.

- Please, and quickly. (CHUCKLES)


- Okay.

I mean, in this economy

Thank you.

Hold on, are you sure the money

was supposed to be deposited

in the account for

"Crest, Folding & Sonk"?

Not "Crest, Folding & Song," with a "G"?

No, it's Sonk. S-O-N-K.

- MANAGER: Alexis.

- Excuse me.

TODD: What is Song up to?

So, your job is to lie

to people? That is so fun.

Hey, you could find

anything online, right?

- Yeah.

- Okay, uh, so I need a favor.

I need to know where

this money's coming from,

or where it's going, so can you teach me

how to use an ATM or,

like, the water fountain

to hack into the bank's records?

- You want to hack into the bank?

- Mm-hmm.

No way. Their security is for real.

Are you telling me

that Ivan The Terrible

can't hack into a little old bank?

Oh, Margaret. An emergency hearing?

You always did have a

flair for the dramatic.

Like when you accused me of fixing

the Tri-Delt officers election.

You told everyone I had lice.

My boyfriend Theodore dumped me.

For the record, you did

scratch your head a lot.

It made people very uncomfortable.

Oh, come on, Natalie.

We're not 20 anymore.

You're a professional

woman, for God's sake.

Lying and cheating

That sounds awful.

But shouldn't we be getting inside?

I wouldn't want to miss

your big, shocking reveal.

The hearing's not for another hour.

No, I asked Judge Reece to move it up.

I hope your little client can make it.

I'd hate to see you

embarrassed and empty-handed.

Uh

Call Todd.

This is where your hacker friends live?

This haunted m*rder shack?

CHEESE: Oh, my God. Ivan!

We heard the Feds got

you. You b*at the rap?

It's still sort of a thing.

Want us to unleash some

digital justice on their asses?

Uh, I think we got it covered, thanks.

- Anyway, this is Todd.

- Hi.

Richter.

- Omega.

- Cheese.

Cheese?

What's up, Cheese?

Anyone have a pony module I can borrow?

Thank you.

What's this?

- It's for your phone.

- What?

They're kind of suspicious.

No, I'm not sus.

I'm a hacker. I hack.

All right, fine, I'll play along.

No, no, no, no, no.

You are not allowed to be online.

- Please get up. Could you just walk me through it?

- Oh, my God.

- You're so extra.

- I'm extra?

There' a guy named Cheese here.

AVA: Just open up a dialogue box.

Okay.

(PHONE VIBRATING)


Ms. Wright, any thoughts on when

your client is planning to arrive?

Um, my apologies, Your Honor.

They should be here any moment.

Margaret being stood up.

Just like old times.

REECE: Okay, look, let's just begin.

(SIGHS)


AVA: Why would your mom's boss

open up a phony account in Denver?

Not sure, but it's definitely not good.

And all the deposits are below 10K,

so it doesn't raise any

federal or banking flags.

Wow. You, like, know stuff.

Uh, yeah. A lot of stuff.

Did you guys park outside?

'Cause the car alarm's going off.

- Is it a blue piece of crap?

- Mm.

Uh, yeah, that's me. Thanks, Omega.

Appreciate it.

- (CAR ALARM WAILING)


- Come on.

Stupid car.

(SIGHS SHARPLY)


(MUTTERING)


(ALARM CHIRPS)


(HIP-HOP MUSIC BLARING)


♪

- (ALARM CHIRPS)


- Uh

Hey!

(STRAINING)


God, I feel so bad for him out there.

But this is the only way we're gonna get

the defense files back.

(GRUNTING)


♪

Oh, come on!

(CRIES OUT)


She violated confidential communication

- between me and my client.

- NATALIE: Your Honor,

I'm offended by the suggestion

I did anything illegal.

These are very serious

allegations, Counselor.

Do you have any concrete proof?

No.

But I would love to hear from

the Assistant U.S. Attorney

a completely legal explanation as

to how she knew I had the files.

As would I, Ms. Harris.

(THE CLASH'S "I FOUGHT THE

LAW" BLARES OVER CELLPHONE)


I fought the law and the law won ♪

(SONG PLAYING OVER EVERYONE'S PHONE)


Oh, oh

Breaking rocks in the hot sun ♪

- (GASPS, GRUNTS)


- (CAR ALARM STILL BLARING)


(CRIES OUT, GRUNTS)


AVA: Dang.

They patched their security.

- (OTHERS LAUGHING)


- Oh, my God, what did you do?

Please tell me you

didn't do something dumb.

We needed them to feel our wrath.

You locked me in my car?

Ava?

What did you do?

And because Judge Reece

suspects that Ava was involved

in this stupid prank,

he has revoked his release order,

and she will be placed back

in jail tomorrow morning.

Mom, you don't understand. Agnes

Todd, I don't have

time for this nonsense.

Just take Ava back to my condo,

and we'll discuss it later.

Come on.

I was just trying to get the files back.

I'm sorry.

So, what now?

I have subpoenaed the Defense Department

for the hidden documents,

but they'll just deny their existence.

Look, Margaret, I hate to say it,

but do we need to consider a plea?

Damn it!

I know Natalie smells blood right now.

But maybe it's the best

thing to do for Ava.

I will start preparing one.

Wait.

So that little girl is going to spend

the rest of her life behind bars?

Francey, Natalie is going to win,

and there is nothing more I can do.

Nothing?

Nothing at all?

Uh, wait a sec.

Just stay right here.

- Okay. Sure.

- Okay.

Whatever.

Susan? Hey, Susan.

I don't have time right now, Todd.

Hey. Hey, hey, hey. Hey.

You kissed me in my office,

and now you're just like,

"No, it never happened"?

I mean, what's going on with you?

Do you have any witnesses?

Any evidence?

Can you prove that it happened?

What? No. Yes. I mean, look,

I'm Portland's number one investigator.

If I need evidence, I'll find it.

But why should I?

It didn't happen, Todd.

It couldn't have happened,

because if it did,

- that would mean that I

- ALLISON: Hey, Todd,

where's Mom? Susan.

- Hi. How are you?

- Hey. Work.

For sure, yeah.

Did I interrupt something?

I really don't know.

What are you doing here?

Mom called. She wants me

to help you watch something

or supervise you

Mom's having you babysit me

while I'm babysitting Ava?

That is rich. You know, I

make one little mistake

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

Uh, hold on. Wait, where is she?

- Uh, Ava?!

- Is Ava a teenage girl?

Because she maybe got on

the elevator when I got off.

Oh, no.

Okay, I'm not running

in these shoes; I cannot.

That's her last known address.

She is not there.

Any known family in the area?

Nope. And her only

friends, the rando hackers,

cleared out of their

graffiti-tagged nerd dungeon

right after their little prank.

Well, if we don't find Ava,

they're going to issue

a warrant for her arrest.

(SIGHS)
Man.

Just out of curiosity,

why do I need to be here right now?

Because I cannot be trusted

not to strangle your brother

if we were alone. I mean,

what possessed you to take Ava

to that hackers' den?

O kay. Thank you so

much for asking that.

- Sorry if this is blue-envelope related

- Ugh.

but your boss, Song,

has opened a firm

bank account in Denver.

- Denver?

- Yes.

Only the name is slightly

off so no one will find it.

But there's all these

weird, small deposits.

It reeks of embezzlement.

Why is Denver so suspicious to you?

Oh, because he wanted to

No, he would never.

Embezzlement? Alistair?

Come on, Mom, how

many times has that guy

passed you up for a promotion?

He was worried about

the firm being audited.

But no. Embezzlement? Alistair?

You broke Mom. She's on repeat.

Just turn her off and back on again.

- Why does she want to strangle you?

- I took her client

our client to a hackers' lair.

A lair?

- A nest of hackers.

- Okay.

- A digital hive, if you will.

- Oh, sure.

And you antagonized the

Assistant U.S. Attorney.

Oh, I'm the one who antagonized

your college nemesis?

What? Mom, you have a nemesis?

How did you bury that lede? Who is it?

TODD: Some sorority sister, Natalie,

who literally beats Mom at

Absolutely everything.

Whenever I'm around her,

I feel like

an insecure 20-year-old all over again.

- Maybe it is my destiny to lose to Natalie forever.

- (ALLISON SNICKERS)


- What is so funny?

- I'm just having

a hard time picturing you as

20, or insecure, or losing.

- No, it's kind of endearing.

- Dimension-bending.

Once, in college, my sorority threw

- a homecoming hall decorating contest.

- That's a thing?

And I created an absolute masterpiece.

It was the Taj Mahal

created entirely from balloons,

and I was a shoo-in for the prize.

It was a $50 dollar gift

certificate from The Gap.

Uh-huh.

But the night before the judging,

somebody popped all of my balloons.

- (GASPS)


- Yes.

- No.

- All 100 of them.

And Natalie won.

And I knew it was her.

But I could never, never figure out

how she she popped

all of those balloons

without waking anybody up.

Oh, my God. Pizza.

- Todd!

- What is wrong with you?

- I am right in the middle of

- I was enjoying listening to that.

No, no, no, no, no. I know where Ava is.

Okay, all right. This

is her favorite place.

Maybe someone will

know where she is here.

Well, she will be halfway to Mexico

before we ever get in.

I know, I know. Um Oh, Mom!

- Hmm?

- You're hypoglycemic.

What? No, she's not.

Todd, I'm not feeling

very well. You'll catch up.

Okay, sorry, sorry, sorry.

Uh, sick mom on board.

- Can you just

- (WEAKLY)
Sorry.

Excuse us. This woman is

apparently hypoglycemic.

- Yeah. Yeah.

- Woozy. Woozy.

I actually wouldn't

recommend pizza for that.

- It's a blood sugar thing.

- Hey, no cutting.

This woman is dying.

- (MARGARET GROANS)


- Do you want her blood on your hands?

We just have to get

her some greasy pizza

- to cure her medical ailments.

- Here, Mama.

Thank you so much. I'm a doctor.

Okay? I am. I'm a medical professional.

I genuinely am.

- Woozy. Woozy.

- Sorry. Thank you.

I cannot believe this is my life.

Yeah, well, welcome to the dark side.

Woozy. Oh

Good evening.

Todd, picture. Is there any chance

that you have seen this young lady?

Yeah, no. Sorry, we get

a lot of folks in here

- I know that girl.

- Yeah?

Yeah. I've delivered to her a bunch.

Man, someone needs to teach that kid

the meaning of the word "tip".

Okay, do you happen to

know where you might have

delivered to this person?

It would be hard to forget.

- MARGARET: That's the address.

- TODD: A cemetery?

This can't be it.

Can it?

Okay, so Ava's a vampire?

Apparently, yes. Now

everything makes sense.

- You know, wait, Todd.

- What?

- Uh, I think I'm gonna go by myself.

- What?

No, I need to have a little

attorney-client conversation.

A little heart-to-heart with Ava.

I'll be right back.

TODD: Great, yeah, sure.

Make me babysit her all

week, and then you go in

on the one-yard line.

For the record, Mom's comfort with

walking into a graveyard

at night is disturbing.

Yeah, I know.

Wait, have you eaten that entire pizza?

Was some of it supposed to be for you?

Well, it wasn't all

supposed to be for you.

God, you're so extra.

I'm sorry, I'm not used

to being on your stakeouts,

- so I just

- Inhaled everyone's dinner?

- Yeah, got it.

- Okay.

(SIGHS)


When's the last time

you were in a cemetery?

Dad.

Yeah. Me, too.

(EXHALES SHARPLY)


You know, I was just thinking about, um,

about how I used to be such a pain.

- Used to be?

- Ha, ha, ha.

No, I'm babysitting Ava,

and she's just all over the place.

And I I really

wanted to just, you know,

ground her a few times,

- like Dad did to me all the time.

- Yeah.

Used to make me so mad.

And then, when he was gone

it felt like, um,

someone took

the guardrails down,

and I was just, like,

swerving all over the place.

That is exactly how I feel these days.

Hey.

You're grounded.

Thank you.

Ava?

I'm sorry.

I know I shouldn't have left before.

It's just my stupid

hacking hurts everyone.

You're being too hard on yourself.

Why did you pick me to represent you?

Because I saw how you helped Todd

when he was in trouble.

'Cause you're a good lawyer

and a good mom.

And you thought

maybe I could watch out

for you the same way?

My mom,

she was really great.

I'm sure she was.

It was just the two of us.

She had to work a lot.

I just wanted to spend

more time with her,

so I hacked her schedule

so she could move

from the primate house

to the buffalo paddock.

The hours were better.

Your mom worked at the zoo?

Yeah. I'm sorry I lied before.

She was an animal caretaker.

So when she started

working with the buffaloes,

she got sick.

Cancer.

The doctors said it was because

she smoked as a teenager,

but it wasn't lung cancer.

And so you-you started

hacking, looking for answers,

and that led you to the

Department of Defense.

(SIGHS)


Before she d*ed, she gave me this,

to remember her by.

She wore it all the time.

If I hadn't hacked her schedule,

- she'd still be alive.

- Ava.

Chemicals k*lled your mother, not you.

This is not your fault.

But you said she

she wore this ring all the time.

Yeah. Why?

Because someone very

clever once told me that

the first rule of hacking is

everything leaves a trace.

I got an alert. The results

are in on Ava's mom's ring.

By all means, knocking is optional.

I just got an alert. The

results are in on Ava's

Oh, the g*ng's all here.

I haven't opened it yet.

- Why not?

- Why not?

- Excuse me.

- Okay.

- There's the attachment.

- (MARGARET GASPS)


- There. Results.

- Wait.

- MARGARET: Oh.

- Positive for Dioxin.

Ava was right. This is

the proof that we need.

- Ha!

- Ah. That is louder than you think.

- Sorry. Do you know what this means?

- Hmm?

Natalie's reign of

terror is finally over.

Now, every time she looks at the stain

on her perfect win

record, she'll think of me.

- And Ava goes free.

- Yes.

At least until she decides

to hack the White House.

Oh. Or an aircraft carrier.

Come on, you really think

she's just going to stop?

Also, where's she gonna live?

Well, it's not like we're

sending her out on her own.

She'll have, um

She'll have

She'll have no supervision.

No parents, no rules,

no idea how to make

her way in the world.

Let's just high-five again.

What's that?

That, my dear Natalie,

is your deflated balloon.

(CHUCKLES)
I don't have time for this.

That ring belonged to Linda Morgan,

an animal caregiver

at the Laurelhurst Zoo,

and Ava's mother.

She d*ed two years ago of cancer.

When you test the ring,

you'll find that it's covered

in the same chemicals

found in Agent Orange.

Even if it was true, the

amounts would be tiny.

A rounding error. Who

knows where that came from?

We also discovered

that Linda's belongings

were shipped to her brother

in Arizona after she d*ed,

including her zoo gear.

Boots, gloves.

We've sent them out for testing,

and we both know what they'll find.

You've lost, Natalie.

Cheating won't help you this time.

If you're so certain,

why are we even having

this conversation?

(CHUCKLES)
Because

today is your lucky day.

I am offering you a draw.

First, I want the DOD to scour the zoo

to ensure that there are no

traces of the chemicals left.

And I want a plea deal for Ava.

You'll reduce the

charges to a misdemeanor,

unauthorized use of a computer.

You've got to be kidding.

And I want the DOD to hire

Ava to do what she does best.

Hack into the most sophisticated

websites on the planet.

She'll make a much

better ally than enemy.

Why would I do any of this?

I'd rather just take the loss.

Because you know what's on those files.

Not to mention that

my my son-in-law works

for the Portland Sentinel,

and I just know they'd love

a first look at this story.

"Chemicals Found at the Zoo."

"Child Left Orphaned."

Which side of this do you want to be on?

Fine. You have a deal.

On one more condition.

You will tell me how you

popped all of those balloons

without making a noise.

You just spray a little

WD-40 on the knot.

The plastic dissolves

slowly, and the air leaks out.

(CHUCKLES)


This was fun. We should do it again.

Anytime, anyplace.

(QUIETLY)
: Yes!

Hey, is that the number one

original Harry Styles fan?

So I guess I'm gonna

be working for the Feds

in the antihacking department

for at least two years.

I heard. How do you feel about that?

I've never had a

regular job or anything.

Or coworkers.

Who knows, I'll probably hack the place

and blow the whole deal up.

Well, that's not exactly

what I wanted to hear,

but I'm gonna focus on the

"regular job" part there at the top.

Your mom had enough to

get the charges dropped.

I guess I'm just

wondering why she didn't.

Well, because and I can't

believe I'm saying this

but sometimes rules help.

I mean, yeah, sure, waking up

to an alarm clock is the worst,

but people having expectations for you,

- it's not so bad.

- Oh

One last job before I go full

government drone person on you.

- You said this was important, right?

- What? Yes.

You're welcome.

What?

- TODD: How did you get this?

- Ivan the Terrible.

Wow, I am such a fan.

- I can't believe you're going to be on our team.

- Really?

And we got the best gear.

You're gonna love it.

Hey, Ivan.

You're not so terrible.

Bye, Todd.

Thank you.

This is proof from Western Gateway Bank

that Alistair Song

illegally transferred money

from our clients' trust

accounts into his own.

He is spending client funds.

This is outrageous.

You and your son are behind this.

After everything I did for you.

Where's your loyalty?

You stole from our clients, Alistair.

My loyalty lies with them.

I recommend reporting

Alistair's ethics violations,

and that he be stripped of

his partnership from this firm.

All those in favor.

He was a discredit to this firm.

Now that he's gone, we can replace him

with someone more ethical and talented.

Keep up the good work, Wright.

(CHUCKLES)


A crypto coin for your thoughts.

Oh, I'm thinking about the

corners that we're turning

and what's around them.

Yeah. We did pretty good, huh?

We did great.

You know, when your name goes up there,

it'll be my name, too.

I basically own this place now.

- Oh, is that right?

- Uh-huh. No, I'm Wright.

- I am Wright. I am Margaret Wright.

- No, I'm Todd Wright.

- I know that.

- I am the first Wright.

- Mm, I don't know about that.

- I am the eldest Wright.

- TODD: Pretty sure that's wrong.

- MARGARET: Who would be the first Wright

- if it's not me, the first Wright?

- TODD: Ebenezer Wright.

MARGARET: No, you're wrong. I'm Wright.