04x04 - it takes a psycho

[bunniefuu]

(HELICOPTER WHIRRING)

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

(POLICE RADIO CHATTER)

(POLICE SIREN WAILING)

(HELICOPTER FLYING OVERHEAD)

- (BUZZER)
- (DOOR SLAMS OPEN)

Huh? (GRUNTS)

(FUCHES GROANING)

- (FUCHES YELLING)
- (KICKS, BATON LANDING)

How did you smuggle the assassins in?

(FUCHES PANTING)

You were telling anyone
that would listen

that something was going down

- in special housing!
- (FUCHES WHIMPERING)

- Where's Berkman going?!
- I don't know... Ah!

- (YELLING)
- Come on!

Talk, you son of a bitch! Talk!

All right. You got
groceries in the fridge.

There's a half a cord of firewood.

I've got... zero bars!
This is perfect. Fantastic.

There's no way you could
talk to the press up here.

This is ridiculous.

We all agree it's the best thing
for you until the trial begins.

You know I can't spend one
night up here by myself.

Well, you'll just have to make do.

All right, I made a mistake,

but can't we focus on all the
stuff I did to protect you?

I guess I'm just disappointed.

(BIRDS CHIRPING)

Can you stay with me?

No.

Can I order Coral Tree Café up here?

(SCOFFS)

(CROW CAWING)

(APPROACHING POLICE SIREN)

(TIRES SCREECH)

Ah! Jesus f*cking Christ!
What is wrong with you guys?

Everybody get to their posts
and stay calm, okay?

- Let's keep our heads!
- Cousineau's not here.

- (DISTANT DOG BARKING)
- (CAR DOORS SLAM)

- (SIGHS) Jim, I got this.
- (POLICE RADIO CHATTER)

Where's Berkman?

H-He can't get far.

So you don't have any leads?

We figure he's out for a little
payback before we catch him.

I'm putting units here in case
he comes looking for Cousineau.

Cousineau's in Big Bear.

I put him there.

Well, that's nice of you.

I'll send a unit to watch over him.

Berkman also has a score
to settle with NoHo Hank.

An informant told us where
Hank's headquarters are,

so, um, SWAT are on their way there now.

We also have a unit
tailing Sally Reed, so...

Uh, we are going to catch him, Jim.

All I ask is if you find
Berkman before we do,

please don't k*ll him.

I can't promise that.

(HELICOPTER FLYING OVERHEAD)

♪ ♪

You put extra security out front?

- Yes, Hank.
- Okay. Add to it.

- Do they have updates?
- No.

Police are still searching for him.

Okay. Well, what's being
done is being done.

Let's not focus on it anymore.

Yeah, hard not to focus on someone

who knows I put a hit out on them.

This is what happens when you
hire two guys with a podcast.

Come on.

(CRISTOBAL CLEARS THROAT)

Come on. We don't need
these. They're right here.

(CRISTOBAL SIGHS)

Here we are.

The day has arrived.

Hank and I have dreamed of
this moment for two years now.

And we are so lucky to
have partners like you.

CRISTOBAL: Now, today I was
considering doing a typical site tour,

- but Hank had other plans.
- Fellas...

We know you've been busting your nuts.

It's time for a little
R&R, don't ya think?

Enjoy!

("HEAVY METAL" BY SAMMY
HAGAR PLAYING ON SPEAKERS)

- Oh, my... Yo! Yo! Let's go!
- (EXCITED CHATTER)

Karaoke!

♪ Headbangers in leather ♪

(LAUGHTER, CHATTER CONTINUES)

♪ Sparks fly in the dead of the night ♪

(CHATTER CONTINUES)

♪ It all comes together ♪

(INDISTINCT SET CHATTER)

(HELICOPTER FLYING OVERHEAD)

Hey, it's Sally. You wanna
run your monologue?

KRISTEN: Um, no, I-I think I'm good.

I think we should run it
one more time at least.

KRISTEN: I really don't wanna
be in my head about it.

We've run it so many times.

- Sounds like you're afraid of being sh*t.
- (KRISTEN GROANS)

Trust me, it's better to
fail out here with me

- than on the stage.
- KRISTEN: Okay, fine.

(SIGHS)

Jesus Christ.

The more you breathe, the better it is,

so just keep breathing
and try to ground it.

- Okay.
- You know, just try to keep it honest.

I-I'm gonna ask the director a question,

so I'm guessing you can
just hang out over there.

- Holy sh*t.
- (DOORS SHUT)

(QUIET SET CHATTER)

- MAN : You all right?
- MAN : Yeah.

No, I'll be right back.
I just gotta throw this away.

Oh, my God, that's Sian Heder.

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

Hi.

- Hi, are you Sian Heder?
- Hi.

Uh, I'm Kristen's acting coach.

Oh, great. Great.

I'm glad you're here. (LAUGHS)

(HEAVY BREATHING)

"CODA" is a masterpiece.

- Thanks.
- SALLY: It's incredible.

I mean, I could cry
just thinking about it.

Yeah, I'm clearly switching
gears with this one.

On, um... on "CODA,"
I worked with committed actors

to tell a deeply personal
story, and now...

Now, I'm working with models
in Halloween costumes,

fighting over a blue, glowy thing.

- Infinity orb.
- Infinity orb. Yep. (LAUGHS)

Well, that's... (NERVOUS SIGH) exciting.

Yeah. I, uh, I think it's gonna
be a good movie, I think.

I think when people see "Mega Girls,"

they're gonna think, "Whoever
made that made 'CODA.'"

Yeah.

- Yeah. (SIGHS)
- MAN : Hey, Sian,

we have a situation over here.

Can we please see you?

(SET CHATTER CONTINUES)

Hi, I'm Mark Staffordshire,
Kristen's agent.

- You're the acting coach?
- Yep.

Oh, hey. Hey.

You're Untitled vag*na Woman.

- That's me.
- MARK: Boy, that was everywhere.

That was in every inbox.

Well, glad to see you're
back on your feet.

(BELL RINGING)

SIAN: Action.

(DEEP BREATHING)

ACTRESS: The citadel is breached.

If the dragolith is not
defeated, all is lost.

I must go, though I shall not return.

Sister, no.

It is I who will bear this burden.

- I am a brave woman...
- (SALLY MOUTHING)

and I care nothing of death.

I will gladly throw my body
into the fires of Hell,

so that future generations may...

(HEAVY BREATHING)

(WHISPERS) Um, uh...

(MOUTHING)

sh*t.

- (SIGHS) I'm sorry. Can we cut?
- SIAN: Oh.

Oh, please don't cut.
Guys. Don't... Nobody cut.

- Okay? I'm the one who yells cut.
- (WHIMPERING)

I'm so sorry. I-I forgot the line.

- I don... I can't... I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
- (FOOTSTEPS RECEDING)

(SET CHATTER RESUMES)

You're up, acting coach.

(OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYING)

(PHONE BUZZING)

(BIRDS CHIRPING)

(WOODPECKER PECKING)

(PHONE RINGING)

(PHONE RINGING)

- Yes?
- TOM (ON PHONE): Gene, listen.

I got to the bottom of the mountain,
and my cell just leapt to life.

Can't you just say "I got
service" like everybody else?

TOM: Barry Berkman escaped from prison.

It happened sometime late yesterday.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

He knows where this place is!

TOM: Look, I highly doubt that
he'd be going to Big Bear.

You know, y-you're literally
on the top of a mountain.

Well, you gotta come back and get me.

TOM: And bring you back to LA?

No, no, no. Listen.

I just spoke with the DA, and, and
he said it was a fortunate event

that you're sequestered up there.

I am a sitting-f*cking-duck, Tom!

♪ ♪

(PUNCHES LANDING)

FUCHES (WAILING): Please! No, I can't.

- I swear to God, I don't know anything!
- WARDEN: Come on!

- I don't know!
- Talk!

- Come on!
- FUCHES: I don't know! Ah!

- I don't know! (WAILING)
- WARDEN: Son of a bitch! Goddammit!

Dang. They're going in on him again?

He's not gonna give up Berkman

even after that m*therf*cker
sold him out.

- (FUCHES SOBBING, WAILING)
- (GUARDS MUTTERING)

FUCHES: Please! Stop!

(WAILING CONTINUES)

- Damn.
- (FUCHES SOBBING)

(SALLY SIGHS)

- SALLY: Hey.
- Oh, my God, oh, my God.

- (SIGHS) Hey, it's okay.
- (CRYING)

It's not.

- (SIGHS)
- Guys, wh-what happened?

Oh, my God, I'm so
sorry. I'm... (SNIFFLES)

I've never done this before...

We need to finish this scene
and move to stage .

- We have a long day.
- SALLY: Hey, look at me, okay?

You can do this.

Let's do a sense memory exercise, okay?

Um...

Okay, your character is
sacrificing herself, right?

So, just think of a time

when you recently sacrificed yourself.

Um... (PANTING)

My last boyfriend was ' .

- sh*t.
- That's really short!

You know what? Just
look at me, and do this.

(SIGHS)

Sister, no.

It is I who will bear this burden.

I am not a foolish girl.

I am a brave woman.

And I care nothing of death.

I will gladly lay this body
into the fires of Hell

if it means that future generations
might live and prosper.

For that is my lot...

as a daughter of this great tribe.

(RAGGED BREATHING)

(SALLY SIGHS)

That... was unreal.

(LAUGHS)

Thank you.

Now, if I could just get that...
to come out of that.

- Money.
- Money.

Okay. Yeah.

Can you show me what you just did?

(QUIET PARTY MUSIC, INDISTINCT SINGING)

(PARTY CHATTER)

(CRISTOBAL LAUGHS)

Hank! This is amazing, huh?

- Yeah.
- Are you good?

Yeah.

Hank...

We are going to be fine, Hank.

You gotta take a moment to
recognize what you accomplished.

Put your energy into that.

Not Barry.

(CHATTER, MUSIC CONTINUES)

Hey!

Who wants to see the sand?

(CHEERING)

Let's go see the sand! (LAUGHS)

We're going into hostile territory,

and these assholes are
packin' serious heat.

Watch your back, and hit
'em hard! Y'all ready?

ALL: Hooah!

(FOOTBALL CHATTER ON TV)

(DOORS CRASHING)

OFFICERS: LAPD! Police!

- (SMASHING, CLATTERING)
- (OFFICERS SHOUTING)

OFFICER: LAPD!

(PATRONS GRUNTING)

OFFICER (ON RADIO): We aren't
finding any heats on these fools.

Mostly power cards.

No sign of Hank or any gangsters at all.

Just a bunch of Chargers fans.

And one guy in a Houston Oilers hat,

- which is confusing...
- (SHUTS OFF RADIO)

♪ ♪

(SIGHS)

(SHIFTS GEARS)

NOHO HANK: All right,
come on, everybody!

- (EXCITED CHATTER)
- Come! Hop on the sand parade!

It's not like going to the beach, okay?

When you see this much sand,

you're going to f*cking sh*t yourself.

Come on, you guys. Come on.

(INHALES)

- This is it.
- (QUIET CHATTER)

This is the whole kit in the poodle.

Can I take a picture of this?

Dude, you can do sand angels.

- Don't mess with me.
- I'm serious.

- So beautiful.
- Come on.

Let's go!

- Here, take your shoes off.
- (EXCITED CHATTER)

You know? Or just leave them on.

Hey! Look at this assh*le doing
a sand angel. All right.

Wow. (PANTING)

This is bananas.

- (LAUGHS)
- (HANK LAUGHING)

Yeah!

(CHATTER CONTINUES)

Who else feels like Scrooge
McDuck right now?

- Wow.
- Guys, what do you think?

- Should we take a selfie?
- Oh, yeah! Selfie!

- Selfie.
- Yeah, let's go! Come on.

- Come on, get in!
- Come on.

- Get in, get in, get in.
- Here we go. All right.

Ready?

Everyone say, "Sand pirates!"

ALL: Sand pirates!

Okay, I took a couple. I don't know.

- See what you like.
- Here, let me see. Let me see.

- Oh, that is good! That is good.
- NOHO HANK: Hey, Cristobal!

I need your help with something,
okay? Another big surprise.

- But come on.
- O-Okay.

- Okay, come on. Come on.
- CRISTOBAL: Okay. Hold on!

MANNY: Hey, Cristobal! W-Wait.
Let me show you something.

- Come here real quick.
- Uh...

Okay, quick, quick,

- quick, quick, quick.
- Real quick.

Oh-ho-ho!

¡Muy guapo! Wow, look.

- You can see, look...
- (LOUD CLANG)

(RUMBLING, CREAKING)

- (SAND SLIDING)
- (ALL SCREAMING)

(SCREAMING STOPS)

(CLANGING, WHIRRING)

- (LOUD BANG)
- (WHIRRING STOPS)

(SAND HISSING)

(SAND SETTLES, SILENCE)

CRISTOBAL: Hank?

Hank! Something went wrong, Hank!

Wha...

(PANICKED BREATHING)

Hank!

Hank!

Hank! Help me!

(WHIMPERING)

Hank!

Hank!

Hank, please! Help me!

(CRYING)

Hank!

(GASPS) Hank!

- Hank!
- (SAND SHIFTING)

(MUFFLED YELLING)

- (CHOKING, GASPING)
- (SAND SHIFTING)

- (LOW RUMBLE)
- (MUFFLED CRYING)

(MUFFLED GRUNTING, SCREAM)

(MUFFLED CRYING)

(STRUGGLING)

(GASPING)

(WHIMPERING, GAGGING)

(SILENCE)

NOHO HANK (MUFFLED): Cristobal?

- Cristobal? Oh, my God.
- (MUFFLED THUD)

- Oh, my God. Cristobal. Cristobal!
- (MUFFLED DIGGING)

Cristobal! I'm coming!

- Cristobal, I'm coming!
- (DIGGING GROWS LOUDER)

(BECOMING CLEARER) Cristobal, hold on!

Hold on, I'm coming! I'm coming!

- Cristobal!
- (ESCALATING DULL ROAR)

- (COUGHING, GROANING)
- Cris... It's okay. It's okay.

It's okay!

- It's okay. There you go. There you go.
- (COUGHING)

It's okay. It's okay. I'm so sorry.

I'm so sorry! I thought you
were right behind me.

- (g*nf*re)
- (MEN SCREAMING)

- GANGSTER: No, please, no!
- (g*nf*re)

(OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYING)

(ANDREI SIGHS)

(SOFT LAUGH)

Good job, Hank.

Da. Da. Very pleased.

Batir, don't you think he did good job?

I told you he'll be happy, Hank.

Cristobal, da.

We finally meet in flesh.

(DRAMATIC CRESCENDO)

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

(CHATTER DIES DOWN)

- (SILENCE)
- (FUCHES GRUNTING)

(PAINED HEAVY BREATHING)

(GROANS)

(SIGHS)

(GRUNTS)

(GROANS)

F...

(SHAKY EXHALE)

(SIGH, PANTING)

(PANTING)

(EATING, CHATTER RESUMES)

(INSECTS CHIRPING, FROGS
CROAKING, OWLS HOOTING)

(QUIET SNORING)

(ANIMAL CHATTER CONTINUES)

(APPROACHING FOOTSTEPS)

(FOOTSTEPS CONTINUE)

(CLICK)

(SNORING CONTINUES)

- (LOCK CLICKING)
- (GASPS, PANTING)

(g*n RATTLING)

- (g*nshots)
- (GASPS)

- f*ck you!
- (BODY THUDS)

(DOOR OPENS, SHUTS)

(WEAK BREATHING)

(MUTTERING)

(PANTING)

(GOLF CART WHIRRING)

MARK: Kristen's a delicate flower.

She is incredibly self-conscious,

and if it was up to her,
she'd stay in Utah,

working for her parents.

But with you,

she could actually be good.

No, thanks.

I'd start at , a movie.

You'd be able to meet
the biggest directors

and producers in the business.

You could get your career back on track.

I saw what you were doing back there,

trying to scoop that role.

It's okay. It's, uh, it's...
It's commendable.

I can't have you doing
that on every movie,

but I can help you.

I can help you get the roles,

the best roles, that you
are... appropriate for.

(GOLF CART STOPS)

- I'll let you think about it.
- Thanks, Mark.

(INSECTS CHIRPING)

(DEEP SIGH)

Hi. Are you... Are you okay?

Yeah.

Oh, my God, you don't know.

Know what?

Your ex escaped from prison.

I'm so sorry.

(HELICOPTER FLYING OVERHEAD)

You should stay with me tonight.

(HELICOPTER GROWS LOUDER)

(BARELY AUDIBLE)
Sally, you can't go home.

(INAUDIBLE)

(HELICOPTER DEPARTS)

Uh, I'll be okay.

No, you have to stay with me.

- That's insane.
- Yeah, I'll be okay.

Don't worry.

Hey, uh...

You were great today.

I was just copying you.

I know.

But, it was...

it was great.

Hey, I'll see you tomorrow.

ANDREI: (SIGHS)

You showed some real balls, Hank.

So, we give you the keys to LA.

You have our men, and
whatever else you need.

We... We be like silent partners, huh?

We take our taste, but...

(CLICKS TONGUE)

nothing like the riches that
are going to come your way.

(POURING DRINK)

Thank you.

(SIGHS)

This friend of yours.
He does not take food with us.

You know, it might take
him a minute to, uh...

adjust to the situation.

Oh.

He'll come around.

He will see that what we
provide is more effective

than this rainbow family
bullshit he was planning, eh?

(ANDREI LAUGHS)

Exactly.

(ANDREI SIGHS)

ANDREI: Da.

Cristobal! Our friends are leaving!

(ANDREI GRUNTS)

Cristobal.

You're one of us now.

Hank, he loves you, you love Hank.

As long as you are...
part of Hank's family,

you are part of ours.

Ah...

(SIGHS)

NOHO HANK: It was the
only way that made sense.

If I had told you,

you would have tried
to talk me out of it.

We have their protection.

Now, we control LA.

Just like what we always wanted.

Okay, you're upset. I get it.

Um...

Let's just go to bed, okay?

I'll sleep out here.

We can just... (LAUGHS) cool our jets.

- Talk tomorrow.
- You k*lled all those men.

That's what's bothering you?

CRISTOBAL: They were our partners.

Yeah, but now we have
Chechens who will die for us.

You think those guys
would have done that?

- They trusted us.
- NOHO HANK: Right.

And you don't think they
would have f*cked us over

the first chance that they got?

(SCOFFS) I think we both got blinded

by the idea of a perfect world,

but it's unrealistic.

You wanna be a crime lord?

Now, we are crime lords.

No, I-I wanted to be legitimate.

(SIGHS)

When you say that word,

you sound naive.

(SIGHS)

Why would you go along with all of it

- if you didn't want to?
- I tried. I tried for you.

(DEEP BREATHING)

Again...

Andrei and Batir would
have wiped us out.

There was no other choice.

Who are you?

I'm Hank.

CRISTOBAL: No.

You're not.

I feel more like myself
than I ever have.

The man I love wouldn't have
done something so cold-blooded.

I don't... I don't understand.
I don't understand

why you're so shocked by this. Okay?

I've been keeping us safe.

I would never fall in
love with a psychopath!

Yeah, well, it took a
psychopath to save you

from your crazy f*cking wife, okay?

Now, to lead an organization like this,

you have to make the hard decisions.

You have to take control
because if you don't,

then you get f*cking walked over.

You get taken advantage of, okay?

I'm sorry, but that does not jive

with peace and love and harmony.

I'm sorry. It just doesn't.

I'm being honest. Where
the f*ck are you going?

(FOOTSTEPS DEPARTING)

- Cristobal, where are you going?
- I'm leaving you, Hank.

(DOOR OPENS)

(SCOFFS)

- You can't leave me.
- I am.

I can't trust you anymore, Hank!

And I don't agree with how
you want to run the business!

If you want it, you keep it! It's yours!

Cristobal! Listen to me.

You can't... leave me.

You know too much.

Jesus.

Come on, let's go get a drink. Okay?

- f*ck you.
- I'm sorry. I got a little hot before.

I got a little hot. Let's just...

Hank, shut up! You are going
to let me walk to my car!

You are going to let me
drive away from here,

and we are never going to speak
to each other ever again.

Cristobal, no. No, please.
You don't understand.

You don't understand. Y-You can't leave.

Hank, what you did is
completely unforgivable!

- But you know too much.
- What you did

- is completely unforgivable!
- No, y-you know too much!

You know too much.
Okay? You can't leave!

Goodbye!

No, Cristobal. Cristobal, wait.

- Wait. No, you can't go.
- Stop. Hank, stop!

Please, no. Please, please,
please, please, please.

- Oh, God! Please! Hank!
- I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

Please stop touching me!

Leave me alone!

Cristobal, I didn't know it was
gonna go this way, okay?

How did you think it was going to go?

- I-I don't know!
- Leave me alone, Hank!

I didn't think this through, okay?

I did not think this through!

I'm sorry, but please don't leave.

- Please, Cristobal. Cristobal.
- Oh, God, Hank!

Come on. Please, please.

I'll make it up to you. I'm sorry.

- I'm sorry. Listen, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
- (GROANS)

Okay? I love you. I love you, Cristobal.

- Cristobal, I love you.
- It's over, Hank.

It's done.

(GASPS)

Get away from me.

Go.

(HEAVY BREATHING)

(INHALES, EXHALES)

- (SNIFFLING)
- (DOOR SHUTS)

(CRYING)

(MUTTERING)

(SHUDDERS)

(GASPS)

(RAGGED EXHALE)

(DEEP INHALE)

- (SIGHS)
- (DOOR OPENS)

- (DOOR SHUTS)
- (SIGHS)

VAL: Sorry, Hank.

We were hoping that wouldn't happen.

(DOOR SHUTS)

- (QUIET SNORING)
- (INSECTS CHIRPING)

(CAR APPROACHING)

(SNIFFS)

(CAR ALARM CHIRPS)

- (KEYPAD BEEPING)
- (BUZZER)

(OPENS DOOR)

- (DOOR SHUTS)
- Ah, f*ck.

(INHALES)

Damn. (SIGHS)

(LOCK CLICKING, DOOR CREAKS)

- (SHUTS DOOR)
- (CLICK)

(KEYS JINGLE)

(SALLY BREATHING)

Barry?

(HEAVY BREATHING)

BARRY: Sally.

I know this is crazy, but
if I could just stay here...

Let's go.

Really?

(QUIET STRUGGLING)

Hey! Hey! Let go of me! Let go!

- Let go of me!
- Hey! Stop it, boys! Stop it!

- What's goin' on?
- He hit me, Dad.

- You made fun of me!
- Yeah?

Well, he's never heard of
"Call of Duty." He's a freak!

- (STRUGGLING)
- Go home, John! Just go home.

Travis, come with me.

(WIND BLOWING)

- (FRUSTRATED GROWL)
- FATHER: That is one pissed-off boy.

(TRAVIS AND FATHER SPEAK
INDISTINCTLY, FADING OUT)

(HEAVY BREATHING)

(WIND BLOWING)

(KICKS DIRT)

(SLAMS FRIDGE)

(FOOTSTEPS DEPARTING)

- (DOOR OPENS, SLAMS)
- (SIGHS)

I'll go talk to him.

(WIND WHISTLING)