[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]
[BELL TOLLING]
The plane! The plane!
- Good morning, boss.
- Good morning, Tattoo.
ROARKE: Let's go.
[♪♪♪♪♪♪]
[LAUGHING]
Smiles, everyone! Smiles!
[POLYNESIAN MUSIC PLAYING]
Boss, those people, are
they here for a fantasy?
ROARKE: Indeed they are.
They look like
they cannot afford it.
What kind of deal did you make?
First, I will tell
you their story,
and then you tell me about
the deal I made, all right?
TATTOO: Don't be sore, boss.
Sometimes you're a
sucker for sad stories.
Am I?
We shall see.
Senor Manuel Lopez is a farmer.
He owns a small piece of
arid land in Durango, Mexico.
The lady is Consuelo,
his devoted wife.
The boy is Paco, their son.
He's almost eight.
Last year he was on his
deathbed from an infection.
ROARKE: He talked of
nothing but a birthday party.
Manuel and Consuelo
promised God that if Paco lived,
they would give him a birthday
party he would never forget.
Do you have you something
to say now, Tattoo?
Yes. Give them the
full treatment, first-class.
Unfortunately for
the Lopez family,
they are about to be treated,
but in a way that definitely
may not be first-class.
TATTOO: Boss, I
like her. Who is she?
ROARKE: Miss Nancy
Harvester of Toledo, Ohio.
For years, she has been the nurse
to her aged uncle, who was an invalid.
And if she knows
anything at all about life,
it is only from the
pages of the many books
that have been her
only companions.
TATTOO: What's
her fantasy, boss?
The lady has no fantasy.
She is here for the
reading of her uncle's will,
of which I am the executor.
- You mean...
- ROARKE: Exactly, Tattoo.
Among the many
assets she has inherited,
Miss Nancy Harvester has
also been willed a fantasy.
A fantasy she
knows nothing about.
That's weird. We
never had that before.
My dear guests, I am
Mr. Roarke, your host.
Welcome to Fantasy Island.
[♪♪♪♪♪♪]
[♪♪♪♪♪]
[WOMEN GIGGLING]
[EXCLAIMS]
What do they call
this place, Mr. Roarke?
Manuel, stop questioning
Mr. Roarke. He's tired from the drive.
Well, I'm just
asking for a name.
I want to tell my
friends where I was.
Mr. Roarke, I was going for
a ride. Later, Jose, please.
Dona Dolores, we
drove as fast as we could.
May I present your
guests, Mr. And Mrs...
Manuel. Consuelo.
Paquito.
This is her place?
Jose, do you mind taking
the pinata into the house?
Certainly, Mr. Roarke.
You brought me here?
What a pleasant
surprise, cousin Dolores.
[SCOFFS] Mr. Roarke, will
you take us back, please?
Where did he go? Mr. Roarke!
Manuel, my home is your home.
Now stop this nonsense
and come inside.
Paquito, take my hand.
If you intend to walk back
to the Fantasy Island Hotel,
it is miles that way.
I once had an ox that
made it in three days.
You should do at least as well.
[♪♪♪♪♪]
I have avoided that
woman for years.
Manuel, God gave
us our son back.
We promised him a
very special birthday.
Please, just until the
party, then we'll go.
What harm?
[♪♪♪♪♪]
Let me see, um...
Ah. "And for my niece,
my sole surviving heir,
"in addition to
material rewards..."
Etcetera, etcetera, etcetera...
Here. "A fantasy all her own
"to repay my dear
and devoted niece
"for the youthful years
she sacrificed on my behalf.
"I wish her to laugh and
cry and dance till dawn,
"and have an affaire du coeur."
A romantic affair?
- Precisely.
- NANCY: No, please! No affair.
Um, I've never had one!
It's just not me. I
just couldn't do it.
What is it, Miss Harvester?
Gene. Gene Jefferson.
Oh?
-[LAUGHING] -Hi.
Hi, Gene.
Nancy. Nancy Harvester.
From back home. Maple Street.
Big house with all the barns.
Oh, the girl in the
upstairs window.
Old man Harvester's
niece. Yeah. Yeah.
Right. Yeah.
[♪♪♪♪♪]
Isn't it great
meeting like this?
Yeah, sure, it's a
nice coincidence.
See you around.
Oh, Mr. Roarke.
I don't know what to say.
I mean, I never had
a sister or a girlfriend
or anybody to talk
to about these things.
Oh, there's so
much I want to know.
I suggest that
now you reconsider
your uncle's kind
bequest of a fantasy.
As a matter of fact, I
know a certain woman,
a lady of infinite
grace and charm.
I could prevail upon her to come
to Fantasy Island and act as...
shall we call her, your own
personal technical advisor.
Oh, Mr. Roarke.
Please, anything.
[♪♪♪♪♪]
Young man, do you like iced tea?
You better say yes. I don't
like drinking alone. Come on.
She thinks I'm trash.
She never called you trash.
She doesn't have to say it.
That's the way the rich are.
No! That's the way
the poor like you are!
When the well dried out,
you didn't let me write
and ask her for a loan
so we could drill a new one.
And then the taxes went up and
you wouldn't let me write her then.
Now the bank says we have to bring
up our mortgage payments to date.
You want me on my knees to
her because she has money.
No!
It's a coincidence that
we're here. Ask Mr. Roarke.
My cousin's rich. I
don't have a peso.
You're tired of working
like a dog. It's true.
I'm a failure,
as a father, as...
as a farmer... [SCOFFS]
and lately, as a husband.
What are you doing?
[SIGHS] I'm unpacking.
We'll stay. I...
I just want to change my shirt.
[SIGHS] We paid to
give the boy a fantasy.
We might as well
get our money's worth
before I drag you back
to that rock I call a farm.
MANUEL: What
was it Paquito said?
Our place reminds him of a
picture he saw of the moon.
It's mine.
Where'd you get that dress?
Dolores had so many
that don't fit her anymore.
She said I could take my pick.
You won't find me
wearing hand-me-downs.
[♪♪♪♪♪]
TATTOO: Hey, boss.
Where are you going?
Miss Nancy Harvester's fantasy
requires immediate and expert assistance.
Okay. I'm ready.
Well, this time the expert must be a
woman of specific feminine abilities.
Oh, no. Not her again?
Yes, Tattoo. The situation is...
critical.
[♪♪♪♪♪]
SOLDIER: To the walls of Troy!
[NEIGHING]
[SWORDS CLANKING]
[MEN GRUNTING]
Well,
shall I jump to my feet and
embrace you to my bosom?
My dear Helen of Troy,
just seeing you satisfies my
appetite for normal pleasures.
Then you can't be very hungry.
How long has it been?
A few hundred
years, more or less?
Only that?
It seemed like a thousand.
Do you remember where?
Yes. The empress lent us
her house outside Ching-Hwa.
We both have our duties,
which is why I am here.
-What? -Yes.
Work?
Yes.
You just snap your fingers
whenever you need me
and expect me to
come to your aid?
There is a young lady,
a Miss Nancy Harvester.
There are great difficulties
with her fantasy. My dear Helen,
the child has never lived.
And if we do not help her, she may
never know what it is to be a woman.
No experiences at all?
None.
Are there really
some left like that?
At least one.
Grant me a wish if I help you?
If it is within my power.
Oh, it is.
Now, take me to your young lady,
and I shall transform
her into a brilliantly
charming, in-control
winner overnight.
Lady Helen, I
caution you, please.
Your power can sow havoc.
We don't want to
destroy this child.
Flatterer.
Okay, just a touch of
class for the young lady.
If you will only remember
that your goal is simply
to get her caught up on living.
No more.
Don't you trust me?
[CHUCKLES]
[♪♪♪♪♪]
[BOTH CHUCKLE]
[♪♪♪♪♪]
Mama.
Dona Dolores has a million cows
and ten million chickens.
Come on, now. You
have to take a nap.
It's been a long, hard trip.
But I wanted to see the horses.
CONSUELO: Tomorrow.
I like her, Mama.
But Papa doesn't.
PACO: Why?
Shh.
You must be very proud.
Oh, yes. He's a fine boy.
Oh, fine is not the word. I
never met a child like that.
The intelligence. The
questions he threw at me!
How is he being educated?
Where does he go to
school? Has he other interests?
He told me he likes music.
Well, now he's here,
we shall talk about it.
[♪♪♪♪♪]
ROARKE: Lady Helen,
I caution you again,
please, we don't want
to destroy this child.
HELEN: My dear
Roarke, relax. Be calm.
It's in my hands.
[CLEARS THROAT]
Oh, Mr. Roarke.
Miss Nancy
Harvester, Lady Helen...
Trask, your technical advisor.
Um, it won't work.
My dear, if I could get Josephine
ready for Napoleon's court,
I can certainly help you.
Mon Dieu! The
competition that woman had!
Please don't tease me.
I'd like to forget
the whole project.
Oh, please don't be
afraid, Miss Harvester.
Miss Trask is the very
best in her business.
HELEN: Now, I've brought
some clothing for you.
Mr. Roarke has
told me your sizes.
And I have enough make-up
for the corps de ballet.
Why don't you go
in and take a look?
She is sweet.
Yes.
I caution you once more.
Push her too hard
and she may retreat back into
that shell for the rest of her life.
Haven't you read your history
books about Helen of Troy?
Oh, forgive me. Yes,
the historians describe you
as an innocent symbol of purity.
I know, you're gonna throw that
damn Trojan w*r in my face again!
Lady Helen, please,
please. Calm yourself.
HELEN: Paris kidnapped me!
Ask Aphrodite! Ask Zeus!
There was nothing I could do
about it. I didn't want to be there.
And then that damn
Trojan horse, I mean...
What the hell could I do
about it? I was totally helpless!
You were. You were.
I won't let your lady down.
Oh, I have no fear of that.
I will be watching you
closely.
Very closely.
[LAUGHS]
[♪♪♪♪♪]
- DOLORES: Two balls or one?
- PACO: Two.
[LAUGHS]
You show off.
No, I don't.
Am I having two birthdays?
No, my dear. Oh, no,
no, this is just dinner.
Your party is tomorrow, after
Elena and Jose's wedding.
Senora, disculpe, my brother's
table is too small for our wedding party.
But there is a large
old table in the attic.
Of course you may have it, Jose.
DOLORES: But why not
have the wedding here?
Gracias, Senora, muchas gracias.
[IN SPANISH] Excuse me.
PACO: Do they live here, too?
They used to.
This is me and my dear
husband when we were young.
He was a lovely man
from a very fine family.
He d*ed many years ago.
Is that why you
have no children?
Paco!
I could never have children, Paquito.
That's why I live in this big house alone.
PACO: That lady's dancing.
Oh, I used to dance
almost all of the regional
dances of Mexico
with the best of them.
Right, Manuel?
She was pretty good as a kid.
I am still good.
Let's see.
[GIGGLING] What?
[DOLORES SINGING SPANISH SONG]
Oh, my darling, I'm so
pleased you are here.
[GASPS] Oh, Paquito.
Paquito, are you happy
to be here with me?
PACO: Oh, yes, Dona Dolores.
I wish I could live
with you forever.
Oh, my darling!
I would like nothing better,
Paquito! Nothing better.
[DOLORES SOBBING] Oh!
[DOLORES] My
wonderful little Paquito.
[DISCO MUSIC PLAYING]
I feel naked.
You look ravishing!
I guess this is one of
those times you'd say...
Oh, here goes everything!
Come on!
You'll do just fine!
At what? Who are we
kidding? I can't even dance.
Listen to me.
On second thought, what's wrong
with a nice, quiet, single person
now that they've
developed microwaves.
This is one of those occasions
when you say, "One more time."
Now concentrate.
Love is exciting.
And sex comes with love.
The world can be crashing around
you, but you remain playmates.
Try to suggest forbidden
sinfulness even when you eat.
HELEN: Males are mischievous.
You show me a great man and
I'll show you a fine boy grown up.
[SIGHS]
Now, do you have it?
I have it, Helen.
[ALL LAUGHING]
[SPANISH MUSIC PLAYS]
I'm telling you. We had
better get out of here.
No. Paco must have
his birthday party.
Consuelo, she looks at our
son like a vulture looks at a lamb.
What do you think
she can do, steal him?
I don't know what she can do.
She's rich. The
rich can do anything.
You see, Paquito,
the bride is getting
presents to help her
become a good housewife.
A sewing machine.
Suppose she can't sew.
Jorge's sister can't sew.
How old is she?
Six. Yeah.
Well, I'm sure she will learn.
They will be a happy family.
Don't you need a
baby to be a family?
Indeed, Paquito.
The child is the most
important part of any family.
Yeah.
Excuse me.
My dear Lady Helen, I will
assist you in any way I can
except that I will not
give you permission
to possess the body
of Nancy Harvester.
I simply cannot
countenance that.
Roarke, don't handcuff
me or I warn you,
for the first time in my
existence I shall fail.
Oh, I beg your pardon. You
also failed with Marie Antoinette.
You never did get your
facts straight on that one.
Marie Antoinette would still have
her head if she'd only listened to me.
Now, Roarke, give me the
tools I need to work with,
or let me out of it!
The fantasy has already begun.
You cannot quit. You know that.
HELEN: Roarke, please!
I'll even give you back the
wish you promised to grant me.
HELEN: All I want
are a few opportunities
to guide her through the steps!
Like a mother would put
her child's feet on hers.
Give her some confidence.
Show her how to
take one step at a time.
Lady Helen.
My sweet
friend and associate.
Given Nancy Harvester's
body for one moment,
I would never get you out.
You know that, I know that.
You will live a
lifetime in her form
while incidentally
cutting a swath of sexual
devastation completely
across the world.
Would it really be so bad to
have me around all the time?
On the contrary.
But that particular young lady
is fully entitled to experience
every single moment of
her life completely unfettered.
You do agree with me, don't you?
The trouble is I've
gotten to like her.
She's so eager,
so hungry to live,
and life is just waiting out there
to punch her right in the mouth.
[♪♪♪♪♪]
-Manuel. -Can I help in any way?
There's been a flood.
[SIGHS] Most of our
land is under water.
The livestock is in danger.
The house is damaged.
I must go back.
Oh, of course.
I'll drive you both to
the Fantasy Island plane.
There is a late flight.
The two of you can leave
right after Paco's party.
The two of us?
What do you mean, the two of us?
When we came here,
I counted three of us.
I assumed you would
leave the boy here.
Oh, Manuel, listen to me.
I want you to understand
where my heart is.
I want Paquito to
stay here with me,
for his sake as well as mine.
DOLORES: It is a perfectly
natural arrangement.
What is so natural, Senora, about
separating a boy from his family?
You said it yourself, your
hands are going to be full
with that rock
you're trying to farm.
And now it is under water.
Don't feel sorry for us!
We've had floods before.
We've lost our crops before.
That's our way of life.
Listen to me, both of you.
I want to give him security,
provide for his every need.
He will be my legal heir!
Manuel,
maybe she's right.
Why must it be Paco's way, too?
He deserves better.
She's turned your head!
He just started to get better.
It's the only
practical thing to do.
CONSUELO: When we get back
on our feet again, we'll send for him.
Consuelo.
The child can only belong
to one family, not to two.
You're both young and strong
and will have many children.
I want Paquito as my own son.
I know he will learn to love me,
too, when I have him to myself.
DOLORES: You'll be compensated.
DOLORES: I own other
property back on the mainland,
including a large,
successful working ranch.
You mean we may never
see him again, never?
You can't sell me!
I won't let you! I won't!
- MANUEL: Paquito! Wait, Paquito!
- CONSUELO: Paco.
[♪♪♪♪♪]
I can still hear them
laughing at me at the disco.
All you need is one positive,
successful experience.
And you'll have
it tonight. You will!
The problem is, I'm not you.
Would that help?
Would you like to be
me for a little while?
Oh, Helen, if I could be
you with him, just this once,
from then on I'd be
fine. I know I would be.
Mr. Roarke refused
me permission to do it.
But we women
must stick together!
After all, it's our world, too!
You mean...
I... You and I
would be together?
As all women are
one, we are all women.
United for this one night only.
One heart. One soul. One being.
How about that?
Who are you?
[LAUGHING]
Go wash your face.
Your make-up's smeared.
Oh, Nancy.
When you come out, you're
going to be the new Nancy.
You're going to be
oozing confidence.
That little body of yours might be a
bit crowded with the both of us in there,
but I promise you, we're
going to have a wonderful time.
[♪♪♪♪♪]
ROARKE: Paquito. Paquito.
I guess...
I'm in trouble for running away.
Just a little bit.
ROARKE: But a man has
a right to think things over,
live his own life.
Sit here, Paquito.
Tell me something.
Don't you like it here?
Oh, yes, I love it.
I'd rather be here than
anywhere else in the world.
Well, then why are you running
away. This could be your new home.
Without my Mama and Papa?
You just said that you'd rather be
here than anywhere else in the world.
But Senor Roarke, if my Mama and
Papa don't have me, they're not a family.
And they'll be sad and
lonely, like Dona Dolores.
Don't you feel
sorry for her, Paco?
Oh, she's a very nice lady.
But she's not my mother.
[DISCO MUSIC PLAYING]
What do you say you and me...
boogie.
You've got the right
idea, but the wrong chick.
Whoa!
Just in time!
Just in time?
I know, I know,
you forgot our date.
I'm crushed, and I'm
devastated, but I forgive you.
You're here, one night
late, but you are here.
[EXHALES] You
certainly are here.
Oh, we had a date, did we?
Did we have a date? Look at me.
I showered. I shaved. I even put on
clean socks. Where have you been?
Aren't we going to dance?
Nancy Harvester, girl
in the upstairs window,
you and I have
a lot to talk about.
[♪♪♪♪♪]
I'm sorry to scare everybody.
But Senor Roarke said, "A
man has to think things over."
Tomorrow you will have a
birthday party you will never forget.
And afterwards, you will
go home with your parents.
Thank you for having me.
You're so welcome.
PACO: Dona Dolores?
Yes, Paquito.
I'm sorry that you
have to be alone.
[♪♪♪♪♪]
GENE: I don't know what
it is. You're so different.
Nancy Harvester, you
are the most marvelous,
incredibly sensuous...
Turn-on?
GENE: Experience.
I had no idea it was humanly
possible for any woman to do to me...
Shut up!
GENE: I've got to tell you,
you are absolutely not real.
Senora Lopez, when you
wrote to me that in addition
to giving your son a birthday
party at a fine hacienda,
you also had another fantasy.
I warned you that the
second one might fail.
All I hoped for was that
his cousin might help us
get back on our
feet once and for all.
You knew that your husband
had avoided her for years.
Yes, but I didn't
know he hated her.
Oh, he doesn't hate her.
He's simply frustrated and
embarrassed by his poverty.
He's desperate to hang onto
every last vestige of his pride,
to honor his role as
husband and father.
Vanity!
I beg your pardon?
[CHUCKLES] That's what it is.
I didn't realize he was vain.
Oh?
Well, perhaps you are right.
But even though you are a
very lovely woman, Senora,
do you not sometimes worry that
you might be less desirable to him?
Hm?
Well, he's only a man who is afraid
of being less of a man in your eyes.
You see, a certain amount of
vanity plays a role in all our lives.
Take it away from him,
and you may destroy him.
[♪♪♪♪♪]
Damn it, Nancy, I'd love to take you
home to my folks and walk right in and say,
"Here, Mom and Pop,
here's Nancy Harvester!"
Okay.
Sure, that's
what I'd like to do.
Well, let's do it.
Nancy, my dad owns
the tool and die factory,
half of downtown,
and he owns me.
He's a great one for social
structure, family tradition,
and that stuff.
And you're a great one for sticking
close to the family money, right?
Now, wait a minute.
Forget it!
How long have you
been standing here?
Not long.
Oh?
You thought had I disobeyed your
orders and possessed her body, didn't you?
HELEN: Don't answer.
She has been on her own from
the moment she left the bungalow.
I simply suggested
that I would be along,
the way a mother sends her
child to school for the first time.
Oh, hi, Mr. Roarke, Helen.
Forgive us for disturbing
you, Miss Harvester.
GENE: Nancy!
Miss Harvester, I am terribly sorry
that your fantasy turned out badly.
It's my fault. I urged
you to accept it.
Badly?
Oh, no, Mr. Roarke.
My uncle wanted me to
catch up on life quickly.
And the Gene Jeffersons of
this world are a big part of it.
You will do very well in life.
Now that I've learned
how to begin living, I will.
Thank you, Helen,
Thank you, Mr. Roarke.
Helen, were you with me?
I mean, like, the whole time?
Do you mean, did she
possess you before?
- Well...
- Miss Harvester, I assure you
there is a bit of Helen
Trask in every woman...
GENE: Nancy!
Please, young man...
Please, Mr. Roarke,
I know how I acted.
But I was walking away
and suddenly I asked myself,
"Why are you walking
away from her?"
- Nancy, would you talk to me?
- I'm busy.
Mr. Roarke, would you ask
her to talk to me, please?
Well?
In front of them?
Are you ashamed of
what you have to say?
No, I am not.
Nancy, I'm crazy about you.
GENE: I was always
crazy about you.
Suddenly, I'm
walking away from you.
Again! Like I did back home.
Is that what you came
back to say to me?
I love you.
That's what I came back to say.
What do you think?
Well, he, uh...
seems sincere.
Don't you think so, Helen?
The relationship
has its possibilities.
Yes.
Let's talk.
Oh, my dear Lady Helen,
I have never doubted that
behind your abundance
of guile and self-interest
lies the honor of a noble woman.
[♪♪♪♪♪]
ROARKE: Happy birthday, Paquito!
Also in that pile
are some presents
from people you've met since
you arrived at Fantasy Island.
Ooh!
And Dona Dolores and I have
an extra special surprise for you.
Is it something to eat?
You better not try!
Why don't you open this
door, Paco, and find out.
PACO: A pony! Mine?
Happy birthday, Paquito!
If I was staying, everybody
could have a ride!
Ladies and gentlemen, Dona
Dolores has something to say to you.
My friends, you all know
how difficult it has been for me
to run this large ranch
since my husband's death.
My dear cousin Manuel
has graciously consented
to move over here
to the hacienda
and take over the
running of my property
which in the end
will be his property.
So he might as well
start sweating over it!
[ALL CLAPPING]
[KIDS CHEERING]
Oh!
Of all the happiness to
behold, my dear friends,
that is perhaps the most joyful.
[♪♪♪♪♪]
[♪♪♪♪♪]
It's so lovely here.
It reminds me of the gardens
of Troy before the siege.
It's time to go.
Oh, no. Not yet. You
granted me a wish.
Oh.
Indeed I did.
That's right.
And you deserve
it. What shall it be?
The same wish it always was.
To be with you.
To be yours forever.
My dear, you are
femininity perfected.
ROARKE: Oh, if it could only be.
But we both know no man
will ever possess Helen of Troy,
not even I.
That is why you have remained
as you are throughout the ages,
belonging to all men
and all women.
You are indeed
timeless.
You will need me again, my dear.
And I shall be ready.
[LAUGHING]
[POLYNESIAN MUSIC PLAYS]
What can I say, Senor?
Your faces say it for
all of you, Senor Lopez.
Now you go on back to Durango
and sell that place of
yours as soon as possible.
I don't want your wife and child
crying all over me out of loneliness.
DOLORES: There has been
enough of that in our family.
Take care of Mama.
- Thanks again.
- You're welcome, Senor Lopez.
Tattoo.
Tattoo, Mr. Roarke, would
you come and visit us?
Of course they will. Come on.
Boss, that family
got a good deal.
Well, I simply took
your advice, Tattoo.
Well, you did say to give
them a first-class treatment.
Did you not?
Miss Harvester,
you look enchanting.
Suddenly I'm
starting to believe it.
And you, Mr. Jefferson, look
like you are your own man at last.
Nancy makes me feel like
I've never felt before. It's magic.
It was thanks to you,
Mr. Roarke, and to Helen Trask.
Who was she really?
Enjoy much happiness,
Miss Harvester, Mr. Jefferson.
Oh, we will.
I'm down from that
second-story window for good.
I'm delighted.
-Good-bye. -Bye-bye.
Good-bye, Mr. Jefferson.
-Good-bye. -Good-bye.
-Boss? -Yes?
Can you fix me up with her?
Miss Harvester?
No. Helen of Troy.
Oh, you're asking
a great deal, Tattoo.
Helen of Troy is a lot
of woman to handle.
Perhaps later.
TATTOO: Okay, I can wait.
How much later?
Oh, give me a reminder, say, two
or three hundred years from now.
[♪♪♪♪♪]