06x11 & 06x12 - The Fiction Makers: Part I & II

[bunniefuu]

Screeen fights are all the same
and not difficult to outguess.

A couple of haymakers, followed
up by a flying hip throw.

Karate chop to the neck, the midriff,
another to the neck and into the bath.

Turn on the shower.

Back into the bath.

Turn on the shower.

Mechanical horse,
It must there for some reason.

That leaves us with the mirror.

Just as planned.

Dialogue.

Hello, Dolly.

Hello, Charles.

Aren't I divine?

You stole the scene darling.

I must admit that it does move.

It moves alright,
predictably but it moves.

Predictably for you.
But you are an expert.

The famous Simon Templar.

- You were great.
- Thank you darling.

What do you like the
most about this role?

The money.

Do you think you are being
stereotyped in the late 's

Thank you very much.

May I have your autograph please?

Can I have a sh*t of you with
Mr. Savage please?

- I'm sorry, Simon. - Your public.

Did you enjoy it Simon?
- Divine.

Shall we avoid the party.
Like the plague.

Will they all be made into films? -
I hope so.

- Mr. Klein is not attending the premieres?
- No comment.

Are you going to live in England?
- No comment.

- Please tell me what he is like?
- I'm sorry. No comment.

How old is he?

Why do you say no comment?
I'm merely being evasive.

Why? - Amos Klein is making me rich.

AND?

I want to protect my investment.

That's difficult. Yes,
It looks like it's going to be.

My club's just around the next corner.

Yoy still haven't told me why
you're being evasive.

My dear boy,

do you know how much I made from publishing the history
of th Herefordshire regular volunteer infantry?

Morocco bound, with glorious plates in colour.

I haven't the faintest idea.
A nett loss of £.

I'm surprised.

Guests?

- Uninvited.
- The key.

You see?
Real life fights aren't so predictable.

-I knew it, that's what they were after. What?

Amos Klein's address.

There must be easier ways to get it, surely?
There aren't because it's a deep dark secret.

But why?

Because I am a capitalist. I'm through
with publishing so-called important books.

I don't want to educate people.
I just want to be a millionaire.

A laudable ambition
Not in this country.

You seem to be doing alright
without my help.

Yes, but you would help me, wouldn't you Simon?
If only for the pure delight of keeping me in brandy.

Have you read the books?
I skipped through them.

Have you ever seen Amos Klein? No.

Or even a photograph?
Come to mention it, I haven't.

Brandies for aid.

Meaning what?
You like adventures, don't you?

Who doesn't?

Doesn't it strike you as odd that
the world-famous author,

creator of Charles Lake, the
greatest hero of modern times,

is unknown?

I've got it. Amos Klein is the
pen name of the Prime Minister.

Worse. Simon you've got to help me,
I'm getting too old for this sort of stuff.

Amos Klein's real identity must be protected.

From what? The press.

The fifth book is due out in two week's time.

It's desperately urgent. You'll
understand it when you get down there.

Simon, If you've got a drop of red blood left in your veins,
you'll drive down to Amos Klein's cottage tonight.

Help!

Hello.

At the risk of being impertinent, would
you mind telling we what you're doing?

They're keeping me prisoner in this cellar.

and damn that Brodie, a nice boy,
his mother was k*lled by the mafia

he gave me this g*n
i'm gonna k*ll Warlock.

but my wrists were tied, you see.
You thought I was Warlock?

No. This is Warlock.
Help me move him will you?

He gets better,
He leads a charmed life that one.

Warlock is a character out of Amos Klein's books.
That's right.

and you were Amos Klein?
That's right.

Why didn't you die of shock?
I just did.

What's holding you up?
Rigor mortis.

Try bending.

How can you write these tough books?

Something went wrong in the clinical factory.
They ran out of girlie rythms.

Not from where i'm bending.
Oh, that's sweet.

I could learn to love you.
Most people do.

Oh, just pick those up for me would you?

Why are you supposed to be a man?

It was my publisher's idea.
You know, to sell the books.

I think it paid off rather well.
It plays havoc with my private life.

I can imagine the complications.

Why did you happen to be here?
Were you lonely or something?

My name is Simon Templar.

The Simon Templar?

Are there more than one of us? I am he.

Finley asked me to come down.
He thinks you may be having guest crisis.

Liar.

I hope they weren't in page order?
Stand against the wall buster.

Why you're not gonna sh**t me.
- I give you three seconds. -...

You can count until the cows come home.
but you won't sh**t me.

Why not? That's a Hungarian Fegarmy.
It only has six sh*ts

and you sh*t them all off.

You're right. Pass. You really are the Saint.

Whiskey?
Fine. But that is gin.

Oh dear. So it is.

So Finlay sent you down did he?.

Yes. His flat was broken into tonight.
They took your address.

We interrupted them.
Oh, was it a good fight?

No. They were more interested in getting away.

How did they?
They b*at me to the elevator.

You could've stopped them.
Fused the elevator power circuit.

From above the tower?

Just put a coin in behind the call button.

I never carry small change.

Here's to friendship.

What am I going to call you?
Amos sounds a little out of place.

Call me darling.

Have you seen those characters before?

No... darling.

They couldn't be journalists could they.
After tonight's premiere...

A bit violent for the Fleet Street.
Yes, I suppose so.

I know...

Did you bury a bone?
No. I'm looking for a letter.

Look. Built-in microphone in there.
A present from the Turkish police.

There we are. It came to Finley's office.

Dear Mr. Klein, I enclosed is a cheque for

Fifty thousand pounds.

Being half payment for your writing services.
which we are most anxious to acquire.

Period of employment, two months.
Balance on completion.

The work is secret, challenging,
and to your taste.

Your cashing this check will be regarded
as full acceptance of the contract.

Whereupon you will be contacted
and given further instructions.

Signed... Warlock?

My fictional villain, freaky isn't it.
And look at the letter heading.

SWORD.

A secret, world organisation
for retribution and destruction.

- Warlock dastardly organization?
- That's right.

It's dated a month ago.
Yes, so it is.

And what have you done about it?
Nothing.

You haven't even called the bank?
Why?

To find out if there's a man called
Warlock and if he has a bank account.

It didn't enter my head.
I get a lot of letters from devotees.

He is obviously some kind of nut.

Police.
Poice. Why?

Six g*nshots, remember?

Good evening officer. Good evening sir.
Are you Mr. Amos Klein?

You'd better come in.
P.C. Jarvis. Kanscombe police.

What seems to be the trouble?

The inspector wants to talk with you.
At the station.

What about?

A neighbor, Mr. Cranmore down the road,
claims to have heard some sh*ts.

sh*ts?
sh*ts?

Apparently coming from your cottage.

It's some misunderstanding.
Really sir?

May I offer you a drink?
Not on duty, thank you sir.

Cigarette? Well thank you very much.

Very kind of you sir.

Not at all.

You see, I don't just make my stories up.

I have to live them every step of the way.
Get inside my characters, don't I darling?

Yes.

I must know them as well as I know myself.

By the way, how's my old friend Charlie Huggins?

Huggins?
P.C. Huggins. You do know him, don't you?

Oh, he's fine. He's not on duty this evening.
Now sir, about those sh*ts...

Oh yes, I was coming to that.

My secretary and I were working on a scene.

Where a man gets sh*t.

Why did you do that?

I didn't care for his ring.

and there's no such person as
Charlie Huggins. Shall we?

Let me go.

Let me go, you bastard.

So that's Amos Klein.

Good morning, Mr. Klein.

Do your pyjamas fit?

I had to guess the size.

Like a glove, Miss... Galaxy.

Galaxy Rose.

Galaxy?

From your novel "Volcano ".

Wait.
I'm not leaving Mr Klein.

I'm here to serve you.

Whatever you want.

Comfy? Very.

The London papers.
There's no mail.

Can you cut out the floor show and
tell me exactly where I am?

In a private house in the country.
Whose house?

For that information you have to wait....
seconds.

Your secretary is in the room next door.
She is still asleep. What's her name by the way?

Oh, Darling.

Joyce Darling.
Oh, how nice.

Bath or shower?

Shower.

I'll see that everything's ready for you.

Good morning and welcome, Mr. Klein.

First of all, let me apologise for the
rather severe method of bringing you here.

But when it became obvious that you weren't
going to cash my cheque, I had to force the issue.

Yes Mr Klein. I am Warlock.

No doubt you are wondering
what this is all about.

To say the least.

Warlock is not my real name.
It was assumed in your honour.

Your books have given me
great pleasure Mr Klein.

I take great delight in welcoming you
to the headquarters of SWORD.

Everything is exactly as you
described in your books.

When you're bathed and dressed,
you will join us in the dining room.
I'll explain everything to you.

In the meantime, If there's anything
you want, don't hesitate to ask.

Goodbye for now, Mr. Klein.
Goodbye.

Did you hear that, Galaxy?

Anything I want. I only have to ask.

What have you in mind?

A g*n. I'm so sorry.

The grey. It does so much for me.

No g*n? No g*n.

Not part of the goodwill
we've heard advertised.

There are other types of hospitality.

Such as?

Such as, you take a shower
and I'll scrub your back.

You're far too generous.
I've only just started.

It locks electronically.

Electronically?
Yes.

Elevator.

The stairs lead to the same place?
Of course.

I need the exercise.

Mr. Amos Klein.

My dear Mr Klein, we meet at last.
What a pleasure.

Rather one sided.
I hope not for long.

That will be all, thank you.

Of course, you know these gentlemen.

After all, you created them.
Well, I'll refresh your memory.

The Bishop.

Nero Jones.

Frug.
Didn't I see you somewhere?

More than possible. I've been somewhere.

And Simeon Monk.

Nice casting, you'll admit.
Wonderful.

Now if you'll sit at the head of the table.

You are the father, and we are
merely your Godfearing children.

Will somebody tell father it is rag week.

Oh no. not quite

Look Klein all businesses stem from
something, if only a successful competitor.

Well, I had an unusual idea.
I had it after reading one of your books.

After, Oh, half a dozen times,
It's was simply this.

SWORD works Mr Klein, it actually works.

and because it works, I made it come to life.

Thanks to careful typecasting?

Using some of it's methods. we managed
to acquire a trainload of currency notes.

The foundation of this establishment.

However, the prime ingredient of this story is missing.

The ingredient that makes SWORD unique.

Your own, quite remarkable brain.

That's why you had me bring it along?

I did offer you ample remuneration
in the fist place you will remember.

I only remember the second place.
We mustn't have any ill feeling, must we?

To that effect.
Bishop, Frug.

Nice?

I had the idea from "Volcano ".

Alright Frug,

explain to your creator,

what it is.

It was the Templedown colliery in North Wales.

Currently taken over by private
company called Hermetico.

They've converted it into a safety
deposit for hyper-valuables.

Two Middle Eastern countries keep
their gold reserves there.

One of them keeps its crown jewels there.

Two of De Beers subsidiaries
keep their stocks diamonds.

Never less than million pounds.

An immense storehouse of treasure.

Hermetico.

Atom b*mb proof and theft proof

Fences feet high, barbed, every
strand wired to the alarm system.

Grilles at intervals throughout the storage area.

Each has different locking system
and a*t*matic sealing devices.

The control room.
The electronic nerve centre.

In case of alarm,
the whole storeage area can be flooded.

That is just a brief resume.

We have a dossier containing
complete details. Bishop.

It's in my office. I'll get it.
Sit down.

I dislike people who forget things.
That's right.

Let that be a warning to you.

Mr. Klein,

Pleas don't make the mistake
of not taking me seriously.

Wait.

I've got it.
Is it catching?

I remember where I saw you.

This is not Amos Klein.

What do you mean.
This isn't Amos Klein.

An interesting conclusion.
How did you arrive at it?

I saw him last night in Finley Hugoson's flat.

There's nothing unusual about that?
Finley is my publisher.

I often stop by.
I keep my petty cash there.

Of course.

Now, where were we?

Oh yes, Just as it was in "Volcano ".
except it was the Bank of England.

Marvellously written. I'm sure you will write
something equally good this time.

A story?
Telling how SWORD ransacked Hermetico.

How with brilliant thinking, outwit their defence
getting to the core of this invulnerable security centre.

and laid it bare.

Mr. Warlock, you're crazy.

Please,

do not use that word.

You will write it.
just like any other story.

Breaking down every problem, detail by detail.

You will write it and we,
your characters, will live it.

And what if I refuse?

In your books, you described far too
many gruesome methods of t*rture

to make refusal even thinkable

Amos?

Well. Like it?
Adorable.

I had the bath of my life.
Soap jet, coloured water, the lot.

We're in a spot, Miss Darling.
Yes I know.

You are working for a bunch of nuts.
You know that.

Did she put you in the picture?
All the way.

What is he like, Warlock I mean?
Who is he really?

In the books that was never known was it?

No. We know who you are.
They compelled you to work for them.

Your father owed Warlock a great deal of money.

Come in.

Here's the model

and the documentation.
So punch your time clock and get to work.

Excellent.

I'm fascinated to know how we get out of here.

Don't look at me. In the book
I never helped anybody.

What's to stop us walking out right now?

Oh, don't be silly.

Electrified fence and the grounds
are patrolled by guard with dogs.

Take a look.

At dusk there's a photoelectric device that
locks the windows and all the outer doors.

And it activates the alarm.
Mmmm.

I'll give you a clue for free.
You know what was in all SWORD bedrooms?

Bugs and a closed circuit TV camera.

Which of you writes the books?

I do. Where are the bugs?

They are three of them.
you'll spot them if you look for them.

They can hear every word, except out here.
Well, that's as far as I stick my neck out.

I hope Galaxy takes me seriously.

Quote "With a sad sexual twist of her lissom body,
Galaxy Rose turned to the door.

Farewell, fellow sufferers
she told them as she left the room."

Unquote.

You invented SWORD, now invent
a way out of his clutches.

I did, for Charles Lake in Hate Lover.

What happened?

He was electrocuted.

With your arrangements I am most impressed.
Thank you, general.

You understand that I must consult
with my government.

At your convenience, general.
Hermetico is anxious to serve you

Your precautions are ingenius.

Our precautions general, are foolproof.

Do you have your green card?
Of course.

Then I'll say good morning.
Thank you for your courtesy, Mr. Carson.

Your green card with today's date.
pleas insert it in the slot below.

Well?

Fantastic. Absolutely impregnable.
Except to the mind of Amos Klein.

But when? How long will it take him?
Soon, Frug, soon. Be patient.

Einstein worked on relativity for years.

So we can give Mr Klein a couple of days.

Northfield psychiatric clinic

If you ask me, Amos Klein is a nut.

I didn't ask you.

What on earth are they doing?

What's it look like? they're dancing.

Dancing

Dancing. For two solid hours.

Amos, baby. I'm waiting.
For what?

For you to bring up the big escape scene.

In "Earthquake "
Lake escapes from the castle.

How?

Balloon.
Where did he get it?

It was rolled up in an umbrella.
He filled it with gas from his lighter.

Oh boy.

A simple structural problem.

I demand an explanation.

About what?

You were dancing? Why?

Exercise.

Mr. Klein, do you remember what SWORD
did to the police sergeant "Stroke "?

Oh no.

The equipment is fully operational in the cellar.
It can filled with acid in one minute.

Oh you wouldn't.

Warlock I'm ashamed of you.

Ashamed?

Yes ashamed, you're completely out of character.

In my book, you were evil, of course,
but also intelligent and sensitive.

Well?

Now you are behaving like a
mentally deficient buffalo.

Buffalo?!
A buffalo.

Do you have any idea what
it is like to be a writer?

The constant struggle
trying to figure out what comes next?

Do you think it's as easy as say,
after Monday comes Tuesday

I never underestimated your genius.

Yet you expect me to work inside a prison.

In cage alone.
Shut up like an animal.

Stifled, hemmed in by these walls.

Pining for a breath of fresh air.

The view of the sky is driving me mad.
And yet you expect me to create?

Ridiculous.

Mr. Klein you make me feel deeply ashamed.

You are forgiven..

I'll arrange for Galaxy to take you
for a walk in the garden.

Whoopee.

Not you Miss Darling.
We can't have you both out of the house at once.

Just as a precaution.

Mr Klein, what happens to
me in your next book?

You'll marry Charles Lake.
Really?

Unfortunately, he's terribly wounded...

Where?

Well Galaxy to see the future, you
will just have to wait and read the book.

How did Charles Lake get wounded?

Monk?

I never did like that one.

And another thing.
Yes?

Warlock double crosses you.
He wouldn't do.

He promised you a million for this little caper?
Yes.

You don't get it.
The dirty stinker.

Is the gate electrified?

If you know that Warlock double crosses me,
how do you not know about the gate?

Mr Klein's tour of the grounds could
provide him with food for thought.

We must be on our toes tonight.
Double the guard?

The full deal, Frug.

The full deal.

Is the tape recorder on?
Yes.

Klein is working late tonight.

What are you talking about? He's asleep.

There's a light on in his room.

There isn't.

I don't care what you say.
There's a light on in his room.

I saw it from outside.

I'll take a look?

There you are?

You're right.

The light was on I tell you.

What the devil is going on?
Why am I being disturbed?

How am I expected to work
if I don' get my rest?

What is the matter?

What's the matter?

I will tell you what's the matter.

They are bunch of idiots.

No consideration at all, barging
in on me in the middle of the night.

I cannot function without
hours of uninterupted sleep.

What on earth is all this noise about?

Ask Warlock.

Explain this.

It's my fault Mr Warlock.
Out.

My profound apologies, Mr. Klein.
I assure you this won't happen again.

Good night.

They are not to be disturbed again.
Our precautions are quite sufficient.

So far it's marvellous.
Thee's more to come.

Quiet.

Quiet.

At this point I usually arrange a helicopter.

Stand on my head.

Keep that dog quiet.

The only way out is through the gate.
We have to drive through them in the car.

Do don't have a spare key do you?

In "No. ," Warlock loses the keys.
Lake almost catches him.

So he had a nd ignition switch installed.
But where?

Got it. Try the starter.

sh**t at the tires.

It worked, Oh Simon we've done it.
We escaped from the headquarters of SWORD.

Most ingenious.

I can't believe it.

Don't be concerned dear boy.

The ignition switch of their car will be
cut off automatically in more miles

You'll pick them up at Northfield Corners in...

seven minutes.

You were marvellous.
So were you.

Thank you.

I wonder what would happen if
they found out that I was Klein?

Or if they found out I was Simon Templar.

I thought that noone
ever escaped SWORD.

Who said they will escape?

They are coming to Northfields Corner.

There is no need to drive so recklessly, Monk.
They will not get away from us.

----...

now.

Oh dear.

Your idea?

Yes, unfortunately it was in my last book.

It's an a*t*matic cut off device on
the car's electrical system.

They're locked.

A playboy's dream car.
It's no good, Simon.

The device is foolproof.

The device maybe? but not me.

I would give a fortune to see the
expression on Mr Klein's face now.

-Will you get through?
Yes, if I go on a diet.

Be careful, you'll blow us all up.

That would be a quick way of getting out.

Come on.

Round the next bend.

Poor Mr Klein.

This way.

Brilliant.

You said they couldn't possibly get away.

I underestimated Klein every step of the way.
What a magnificent brain he has.

So he's got a brain, what do we do now?

Warlock to SWORD.

Operation Foxhunt.

What are they doing?

What do SWORD usually do in these circumstances?

There are a number of things.
Flamethrowers, tanks, death ray machines,
infra red probes.

What do we do? I don't know.

I do.

Wait, what are you trying to b*at,
the minute mile?

Can't we rest?
My feet are k*lling me.

That's how SWORD must be feeling.
Come on.

Dogs.

Now we've had it.

We've had everything except little Eva
crossing the ice. The night is still young.

Did you break something?
No.

No time for lying around. Keep going.

No, I'll drown!
It'll hold the dogs off.

You only have to hold your breath.

Oh, it's getting deeper.

Be quiet. What's the matter?
Water snakes.

Don't be silly, water snakes, they're
probably alligators. Give me your hand.

It's just dawned on me why you're not married.

I'm sorry, Simon.
It's fine. The mud's delicious.

I didn't mean to push you.
At least the dogs have lost our scent.

The dogs may have lost it, but will we.

Get down.

Nero and I will go this way

And yoy two that way.

Come on.

Sorry I can't. I can't do it.

Look.

Give me your hand.

I say.

Who is it?
We need help.

Ma, the shotgun.

You don't need a shotgun, we're friends.

Come on we need help.
Please open the door.

There's no reason to be afraid.

We have to use the telephone.
- You can't.

Don't be silly, we'll pay for the call.
We have no phone.

Don't move.

What's all this about?

Have you ever heard of Amos Klein?

No. Who's he? I'm he.

I'm an author.
Amos Klein is my pen name.

Everybody thinks I'm a man.
I see.

Tell them the titles of some of your books.

"Stroke ", "Volcano "?
- No.

Anyway, Amos here, invented an
organization called SWORD.

An international crime syndicate.

And there was this man...
A nutcase actually.

... who thought the idea was great...
and he created it down to the last detail.

He's been holding us prisoner.

Locked up?

But we managed to escape.

Escape. How?

The details don't matter. The important
thing is, these people are after us.

Ma, why don't you make a cup of tea.
We can sit down and talk calmly.

That's awfully kind, but we haven't got
the time. We must get to the police.

What for?

If they catch us,

They'll k*ll us.

You do not understand.

I'll give you £ for the use of your car.
Fifty pounds!

Wet, but negotiable.

We just need to get to the nearest village.
To get to a police station.

Get the car.

I'll get it you just give me the keys.

It won't start for noone but me.

You won't need that I promise you.

I expect not.
It hasn't been fired for twenty years.

How long have you been out?

About an hour. I see.

They were chasing us with dogs.
That's terrible.

We will leave the car outside
the police station.

Please don't worry.

We're sorry that we frightened you.

Sorry about the mess on the floor.
I understand. Good luck.

Don't let them please.

Simon. Help!

And now the girl.

I'm terribly sorry if my patients
have frightened you.

He lying. We are not sick.
He's Warlock, head of SWORD.

Hold her. But be gentle.

Advanced hallucinations, persecution mania.

they're both suffering from acute schizophrenia.

It's so sad.

Mr. Klein and Miss Darling.

Mr. Klein,

You've annoyed me intensely.

You seem toforget that we are the
characters from your books.

You created us, but you
must cooperate with us.

Now let me show you what will happen,

if you don't.

Bring them down to the cellar.

the SWORD laboratory.

Exactly as described in "volcano ".

All the marvellous advantages
of your fertile brain.

And they all work perfectly.

Congratulations.
Wait a minute.

What's that?

This is the single deviation from the book.

It originated in Russia.

The multi laser destructor. Scores of
lasers working in consecutive concentration..

I would hate to use it on you Mr.
Klein. But I will,

Unless you work out within
hours how we can rob Hermetico.

I can't do it.

You can and you will.

I can't, not without seeing
what we are up against.

You have the model, and the dossier.

and the aid of my scientific knowledge
We've thought about everything.

Not everything.
I insist on seeing Hermetico for myself.

I see.

Well, gentlemen?

We wanted the book to remain true to it.
and we can't divert from the book.

Yes, stick to the book.

Very well, we'll visit Hermetico this afternoon.
Galaxy, you will make all the arrangements.

Sure thing Mr Warlock.

One moment if you please,
Mr Klein, may I have your jacket.

Monk, the accelerator please. Frug, highest
frequency and maximum concentration.
Galaxy if you please.

Now, If by so much as a raised eyebrow

Mr Klein when we take you to Hermetico.

Miss Daring will placed in the tender care

of this exquisite machine.

What's in the briefcase?
Nothing?

and I'm supposed to be some sort of diplomat?

Warlock will tell you.

Galaxy, you're not mad at me are you?

No.

Just worried.

Careful. Big Brother may be watching.

This is the one part of the
room the TV camera can't reach.

You won't try to escape,
or do anything silly?

I wouldn't want to put
Miss Darling on the toaster.

Oh baby, for all that money I would
put anybody on the toaster, even you.

May I take notes?

I'm always ready to help an amateur.

I want to say goodbye to Amos.
Go ahead.

Goodbye Amos.
Goodbye, Miss Darling.

What's this?
Everything.

Warlock is waiting.

The red card is your entrance pass.

The green one your exit pass.

You're Friederich Gothard.
My chief security officer.

and Mr. Klein.

Yes.

One false move

and Miss Daring dies.

Well gentlemen, this is the main loading area.

Now valuables are delivered here
and packed in our own special containers.

Lister, I'm taking these
two gentlemen downstairs.

Yes sir, duty key man.

The badges are specially coated.

Enter without one a hidden sensor mechanism
will sound an immediate alarm.

Consisting of what?

Bells, klaxons. A dreadful noise.

Every grille in the place will
automatically clamp shut.

No one can enter. Not even us.

Gentlemen...

Suppose Mr Carson there was a raid?

A break in from above.

Yes, with g*ns.

They force the guards
to hand over the keys.

They wouldn't get five yards. There
are concealed alarm buttons everywhere.

I have three within the reach
of my hand at this moment

Very admirable.

This will let you know
how deep you are going.

This elevator is the only entrance to the mine.
All the other shafts were filled in.

You will note that keys must be
inserted simultaneously.

No one man on his own can ever gain entry.

Some of our prospective clients.

Now the infra red and central
alarms are coordinated in here.

Gas can be pumped into the ventilation
system at the flick of a switch.

Knocking out an intruder
in a matter of seconds.

Most impressive.
And discouraging.

I mean if one were brash enough
to contemplate robbery.

Quite so.

The door code number is changed daily.

And now our main storeage area.

Potential customers, Morgan.
Very good sir..

Well gentlemen, there it is.

I think your valuables
will be safe here.

Don't you. Indubitably.

I am most satisfied

Mr Carson, one question.
Of course.

How do you know,

That the general and myself

are not imposters?

Well, I suppose it is just possible that
you could be here under false pretences

Well, once they'd seen our
security arrangements...

They would be discouraged, eh?

Quite.

Shall we go then?
General.

Thank you very much for coming gentlemen..
Do you have your green cards?

Yes, of course.

Yor green pass card in with today's date.
Please insert in the slot below.

I take it, General we will hear
from you in due course.

I think you can guarantee that.

No.

Carson, i'm letting clients out.
Turn the alarm off you fool.

What happened?
We have a radar scanner.

Anything moving above the height of the
fence automatically activates the alarm.

Except for birds of course,
it's programmed to ignore them.

It's really to guard against anyone
using a helicopter. And the expl*si*n?

We don't tell anyone, but

this outer perimeter is criss crossed
with thousands of invisible infrared beams.

A break in any one of those causes
the mines directly below it to explode.

Remarkable.

Gentlemen, I'm so sorry about the dust.

Excuse me.

Thank you so much for coming.
I'll say good day to you gentlemen.

Good day, Mr. Carson.
Good day, sir.

General, perhaps you'll let me
have the name of your hatter..

How many other devices are there
that you don't know about?

I admit this infrared was a surprise

it was a surprise to me.

A surprise?

Warlock it's impossible.
Not to you Amos.

The answer is no.
But Amos...

I am through. I resign.

Gentlemen, Mr. Klein wishes to resign.
What do we do?

Your resignation is not acceptable.

You have hours in which to
solve the problem.

Or else we shall invoke chapter
of "Volcano ".

We have got to, that's all there is to it.

Now come on, let's kick it
around the way we do at home..

You know I'm no good at it anymore.

Well I don't know.

You come up with some quite
good ideas sometimes.

Let's start with the basics.

The radar system, put that down.

How to get at it?

At last we've got them working.

Fascinating.

Absolutely fascinating.

Well everthing else works like a dream.
We keep coming back to the first big problem.

The invisible infrared beam.

Criss cross the whole strip?

If you can break through them,
you're better than i.

If there were some way we could see them.

I have it for tonight.
I feel like a wreck.

I'm a heel for driving you so hard.
I enjoy working with you.

Put them on.
What?

You know something, darling? You're gorgeous.
Without specs i'm blind.

With or without them you're quite something.

Well, there you are.

Now you're invisible.

Glasses?

Special glasses.

Polarizing lenses with a thin coat

of mercury sulphate.

Sensitive to infrared light.

You see the beams

and you can step right over them.

Infrared rays.

Virtually ivisible to the naked eye.

Now look at it through the glass.

It works.

Of course. Miss Darling.

Then you load the stuff on the van.

and you drive away.

Genius.
There is one thing.

The way to get across that route
without slipping is su1c1de and you know it.

There are mines all over the ground.

Gentlemen, you play for big stakes,

you take big risks.

That's it. When do we mount the operation?

We have to purchase the equipment.

We'll have a lot of construction to do.

Suppose we say the rd?

Fine. The rd it is.

What about Miss Darling and myself?
You will be released, of course.

When?

When Hermetico is empty.
Who goes through the neutral strip first?

It's quite simple.

You draw lots.

That's the th time you've
blown us all to smithereens

It's impossible!
Not if you concentrate.

And pick up your big feet. They're trying
to k*ll us. That's what they're doing

Frug.

Monk. Quickly.
It's alright, I can handle it.

Tonights the night.

I'm scared.

You know what SWORD did
with prisoners in "Volcano "?

Well I've rewritten it.

In your version,
all the SWORD murderers got back.

In mine they don't.

You are sure those mines will go off
if someone steps them?

Positive.

Let's give some more thought
to the ventilation system?

We could short circuit the fan...

No, it would flash red in master control.

Can't you find something better to do?
I've cleaned all the g*ns.

Mr Warlock.

Look.

So you're really Simon Templar.

That's right.

You deliberately misled me.

It wasn't difficult.
Good picture, don't you think?

Oh yes, excellent.

I'm not amused.
Clearly he has no sense of humour.

Take her to the cellar.

Don't push.

You have three minutes to get dressed.

Meaning, I'm going with you?

Not only are you going with us, Mr Templar.

You are going to cross
the neutral strip first.

You'd better be right about those mines,

Or else you'll be blown
right into the next world.

Now then Mr Templar if all
goes according to plan,

We shall be leaving Hermetico at 'o'clock.

However, If Monk is not notified
of our safe departure,

She fries.

So it's true.

Yes.

And all those prophecies you made?
Like I'd marry Charles Lake?

Galaxy, I have no idea who you will marry.

I have, and we'll be very happy.

Once she's out of the way.

Oh by the way, I nearly forgot.

I think this is yours.

I explained to the garbage man
that you were a mental patient.

He was so sympathetic and it is your money.

Thank you.

You can't win 'em all.

Just think, Mr Templar.

In two hours either I'll be a multi-millionaire

or you'll be dead.

Thank's, Tom.

I think it's time for a break.

Just don't stay too long.

We've finished.

He's in.

We're back Dave. What's he up to?
He's having winks I'll bet.

Hey, Dave. Wakey Wakey.

One move gentlemen and you'll get it.

Frug, take their cards.

and let the van in.

Please put in a green pass
card with today's date.

And what are you so nervous about?

If something goes wrong,
I'm the one who's in the pot roast.

Where's Bishop?
In the strongroom.

Good.

Looks like you've had it sweetie.

May I have a last request?

What?
Cigarette.

My holder. It's in my bag.
I'm so used to it.

The lighter's in there.

Fascinating, isn't it?

I wonder how Warlock got it.

What happened?

The electromagnet broke and it short circuited.

How?

A woman's eternal w*apon.

I pushed it in lock connection.

That's brilliant. What about them?

He's not dead.
Neither is she.

How did you do it?
It was rather ingenious I must admit.

Well tell me. How did you do it?

You will have to wait to read in my next book.

You'll never live to write it.

You created SWORD.
But I built it.

It worked.
There's no limit to what we might have done.

And you were foolish enough to destroy it.
To destroy it all.

Including yourselves.

Shall I, Simon.

So that's how you did it.

Yes. Clever, isn't it?

Darling, Miss Klein you did brilliant

With or without glasses?
Who cares.

Is there room for me in this story?