06x14 - Where the Money Is

[bunniefuu]

SIMON: Temptation comes in lots of
shapes and sizes.

But, when it comes packaged like
this, and rings your doorbell,

then without a word presses a
thousand dollars into your hand

and beckons you out to a waiting car...

Well, that's when you admit

the only thing you can't resist is
temptation.

Thank you.

Tell me - do you ever speak?

Shhh...

Well, how would it be if we made hand
signals?

Oh, that's better. Would you
mind telling me where we're going?

That's er...quite an answer.

Well, if you've got to go, it's the
only way.

Nice little place you have here.

Ben Kersh. Glad you could come.

Now...

Get lost, the pair of you.

Who is she?
I don't know. Some bit-player.

Young lady...

Oh, ta.

Now, why did she bring me here?
Do you want a drink?

No, an answer.

People tell me you never get involved
in anything unless you're interested.

So, I made it interesting.

Now it's getting exceedingly dull, so
excuse me.

I haven't finished.

I have.See this?

There's ten grand in every pile.

English pounds, Swiss or French
francs, American dollars.

Have any one you want.

Mr Kersh, you have been buying people
for too long.

So, whatever it is you want...

the answer is no.

I've got to talk to you.

Please!

They're gonna m*rder my daughter!

My daughter will die. There's only
one person who can stop it. You.

Simon Templar.

Come in, Mr Templar. Make yourself
comfortable.

Arnie, drinks.

Well, now...

Well, now, what would you like?

An introduction.

Arnie Garnett - Simon Templar. I'll
take bourbon.

I'm Mr Kersh's personal assistant.

Arnie is my office boy.

He likes to give himself fancy titles.

Mr Templar drinks Scotch.

What do you know of me, Templar?
Well, you're a movie producer.

You make big money...and bad pictures.

Very big money.

And I've been married four times.

Somewhere along the line I had
myself a daughter.

She's headstrong, selfish,
boy-crazy... and I care about her.

Plenty. And she's been kidnapped?

You'll judge for yourself.

I have a film unit sh**ting in the
south of France.

They fly the dailies back to me at
the end of every day.

I want you to watch them.
I'd er...rather not.

I've seen some of your films.

I didn't write this script.

Arnie, the drinks!

Please sit down, Mr Templar.

Cheers.

This is a visual ransom note, Mr Kersh.

I don't want you to have any doubt about
the fact that I've kidnapped your daughter.

Take a good look at her, Mr Kersh.
Take a good look at her.

Unless you follow my instructions precisely,
this is the last time you'll see her alive again.

Tell him, sweetheart.

Tell your ever-loving daddy we are not joking.

Daddy, please! Please, do whatever
they ask. But get me away from them.

Please! Very good. Very, very good, sweetheart.

So, Pops...

you want her back.

Well, here's what you do.

There is a room booked at the Hotel
du Paris in Nice.

It's in the name of Mr Smith.

Have somebody check in there not
later than midnight on the th.

You will await my instructions.

Oh, one other thing.

One thought about the police, and you will have
her back in small pieces. That's all, Pops.

Except the money. Brace yourself.

The sum is precisely one million dollars.

Take a good look at her.

Is she worth it?

That was for real, Mr Templar.
I can see it was.

When did you last hear from your daughter?

A postcard, ten days ago.

She was on vacation in Paris.

And that film just arrived with the
dailies? That's right, from Nice.

I checked everything.

Loaders, camera-report sheets...

All I know is, two cans of film were
shipped by the location unit,

but three arrived for processing.

And nobody knows how or where it
came from. What do I do?

You pay. You can afford it.

Oh, a dozen times over, but where's
the guarantee they won't still k*ll her?

Well, nobody gives guarantees in this
sort of caper.

You play it by ear. Do you have money in France?
Yeah, it can be arranged. But you say I
should go through with this, just as they say?

I'll let you know later...

after I've checked into the Hotel du
Paris as Mr Smith.

Hello? Smith here.

Yes, put it through.
Templar, Ben Kersh. Heard anything?

No, nothing.

Well, you'll call me when anything
breaks? Of course I will.

OK. Now, listen.

Arnie is flying down with an
authority for you to withdraw the money.

Anything else you need?

No, not at the moment. What time does
Arnie get here?

Hold on.

What?

Thanks.

Templar? Templar, are you there?

Hello? They've made contact.

When?
Three this afternoon.

I'd better get down and meet Arnie.

I'll be in touch.

Everything OK? Of course.

Good.

Are you absolutely certain how we play this?

Once we're satisfied our Mr Smith is
alone, I'll take him into the hut.

He'll want to see the girl.
Not before we see the money.

You think Kersh will play it straight?

I'm not sure, but in case our Mr Smith is a
cop, you'll be out of sight but handy, huh?

Lose the car.

Nice thought. The banks are open.

Our Mr Smith is probably collecting
the money this very minute.

Never been this close to a million bucks before.
Or a million of anything else, for thatmatter.

Mind if I have a look?

Go ahead.

Beautiful. Something happiness can't buy.

Where to now? The local film studios.

You think somebody on the unit might
be tied in with this?

It's possible. But I want to see the
genius who handles the special effects.

Great, isn't it? All that smoke from a
little container. Any colour you want, too.

Yeah, no more, please.

Like to see a yellow one?
No, thanks. It's not quite what...

I'll tell you what.
How about a Martian space g*n?

Cut that out, Lomax.

Oh, I didn't even knock the polish
off your suedes.

Ha-ha.

Whatever you need, Mr Templar, I've got it.

You need a secret radio transmitter.

Aerial. Microphone in that one.

Battery in these.

Beautiful, isn't it? Very interesting.

And it works, too.

Sub-machine-g*n for f*ring capsules.

I said, cut it out!

Erm...

Real flower.

Bugging device built in.

Tell me what you want, Mr Templar.
If I haven't got it, I'll make it.

Well, I do have a couple of ideas.

Arnie, why not pick up those road
maps I asked for?

I'll see you back at the car.

You're late.Sorry. It took longer
than I thought.

I say, this is nice, isn't it?

You got it finished?
Oh, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, it's a little beauty, isn't
it?

Hmm. It looks great. Does it work?
Of course. Everything I make works.

Just press that jigger there. Then
it works automatically.

It registers once every minute.

And the rest of the equipment?
In the van. I'll be ready when you get back.

Well, I'd better get moving. I have a
long drive if I'm to be there by three.

Something else I brought for you...

It's just a regular, old-fashioned
g*n. Could come in handy.

Thanks, but I prefer my own.

Oh...OK.

Well, er...good luck, Mr Templar.
See you later.

Bye.

:. He's late.

It's a long drive from Nice. Mmm...

That's our Mr Smith.

Keep out of sight unless something happens.

Good afternoon, Mr...

OK...explain it.

Explain what? Why you?

Because Ben Kersh asked me.

Is that the money? I want to see Jenny first.

She's all right.
I'll decide that when I see her.

Look, Templar, I am calling the sh*ts here.
You will see Jenny when you turn the money over.

OK, bring it in.

All right, that's far enough.

OK, how do you want to play it?

You pay. You go back to your hotel.

Jenny will be taken to a place in Nice.

You will be telephoned and told
where to pick her up. All right?

Not a chance.

We do a direct trade.

The money for the girl. You name the
time and the place.

Look, Templar, you haven't got a
choice. Now, I want to see the money.

All right.

Just as a sign of good faith.

Take a look.

Keep coming. On your feet.

You mustn't feel too badly.

If I'd been you, I'd have hidden
somebody outside, too. Only, a little better.

We're not alone in this. If we're not back at
the place in a couple of hours, they will k*ll her.

Well, we've still time to do business, then.

You - open the case.

What are you trying to pull?

On the way here, somebody tried to
bushwhack me.

It could have been one of your boys.

They wouldn't dare. Uh-huh?

Then it may be somebody else wanting
a piece of the action.

So, I made a little detour, and hid the money.

And it is going to stay hidden, until
you deliver Jenny.

I want to see her.

After that, we'll arrange a transfer
that's agreeable to both parties.

You will have to be blindfolded.
I know the rules. I've been to the movies.

When you are satisfied, you will be
driven back here.

You collect the money, and we make the swap. OK?

You have a deal. Get the car round.

Turn round.

That should do it. Can't see a thing.

You can still feel, though.

You had that coming. Now we're
starting even. Let's go.

You might as well relax.

We have a long drive.

Well, wake me when it's over.

Have some coffee. It'll steady your nerves.

Oh, come on, love. Won't be long.

Don't touch me!

I wouldn't touch you with a bargepole.

You're just a big, fat piece of money to me.

Anyone who'd pay a million dollars for a spoilt
little brat like you needs his head examined.

Much further?

Nearly there.

Did it go all right? Did you get it?

There's been a change of plan.

Well, it's not much, but I suppose
you call it home.

Who's the joker? Simon Templar.

What? He wants to see Jenny before he pays.

I thought you said...
Never mind what I said.

Now we're playing it differently.

Bring him in.

Now, you wait here.

Watch him.

What went wrong? He hid the money
before he got to us.

That shouldn't be too much of a problem.

We could persuade him to tell us where it is.

You could try.

A little working-over, and he'll be
glad to talk.

Something like...this.

Some other time, eh?
It's been a long, hot day.

Largo, use your head.

Oh, actually, he's been using nothing else.
I think he was trying to persuade me
to tell him where the money's hidden.

Do you think that didn't occur to me? He could
have a squad of gendarmes just waiting for us.

I thought...Well, don't!

She's in here.

Are you all right?
Yes. Just get me away from here.

Oh, I'm afraid I can't do that just yet.

But they promised.

They said, as soon as my father sent
the money, I could leave.

Just a few hours more. That's all.
But I can't take any more.

Jenny, it's going to be all right.
I promise.

Then hurry. Please hurry!

That's enough. Sit down.

Satisfied?

Now, you two drive him back to the
airfield, but watch him.

I'll pick the money up, go back to my
hotel, you call me at ten tonight.

I'll give you instructions.

Who the blazes is running this deal, anyway?

I am, because I pay.

You can take it off now.

You'd better be at that phone tonight.

We were beginning to think you
wouldn't make it.

Well, there were moments when I
thought so, too.

How did it go? Somebody tried to
jump me on the way there.

Who?

Well, I didn't get a look at him.

But I winged him, though.
Unfortunately, not bad enough to stop him.

I just hope this thing works.

I've told you: everything I make works.

This thing's a masterpiece.
Here, see.

The glass over the date window is
ground to act as a lens.

A circular disc of high-speed film
rotates very slowly.

The a*t*matic shutter operates
once every minute.

Focus and aperture are preset.

And once the mechanism's started, it
takes a picture every seconds.

Well, could we get it developed?
We've only a couple of hours' daylight left.

Oh, erm...would you draw the curtains?

Arnie - bathroom door.

Beauties, aren't they? Very good.

Yeah. Wearing that thing's better
than a third eye.

Yeah, well, I'd better get started.

You two wait here for me. I'll be
back as soon as I can.

We'll be waiting, Mr Templar.

That's one gentleman I wouldn't like
to tangle with.

Me either. Well, come on. Let's clear up.

Ow! What's the matter?

Nothing. I just wrenched a shoulder.

The milk is sour.

Who cares about milk? We'll soon
have a million dollars.

Kettle's boiling.

Keep quiet. We're getting out.

Come on.

Largo?

Jean! Largo!

Stand aside.

Get the car. Largo!

Largo, the car!

There's no sign of them.

Well, come on. Let's get out of here.

They'll soon find out they've passed us.

What's wrong? Who knows? It's a rented car.

A b*llet must have hit the gas t*nk.
What can we do?

Run, and keep on running. Believe me,
they won't be far behind us.

Will you stop that? It's getting on
my nerves.

He should have been back by now.
Something's happened.

Where's Templar? We haven't heard,
not a word.

Did he see Jenny? Yes. He went to
get her nearly six hours ago.

Then something's wrong!

Do you think we should go to the
police? I... I don't know.

No. Not while there's hope she's
still alive.

If Templar's failed, they might
still want to do a deal.

We'll just have to wait and...sweat it out.

Jean must have been a Boy Scout.

He has an uncanny, talented
knack for tracking us.

Did you see him?
Yes, the other side of this hill.

I'm so tired. Well, we're miles
from the nearest village.

I can't walk another miles.

Well, you can try. Come on.

Oh...what a mess.

Here.

To my reckoning, we're round about here.

Oh, we've still a long way to go.

Hmm, and across some of the most
desolate country in France.

Jean knew what he was doing when he
picked this area for a hide-out.

Do you think we've shaken him off?

Well, we've covered a lot of ground
since the last time he came close.

We've backtracked, zigzagged.

You should be safe enough here.

You're leaving? Yes, I'm going to
make for the nearest village,

find a garage, rent a car.
I'll be back as quick as I can.

What did you do that for? There's no
point in signalling our position.

Why don't you make yourself
comfortable? Try and get some sleep.

Oh, Jean! I thought you wouldn't find me.

Are you all right? Oh, I am now.

Where's Templar? He's gone to the
village to rent a car.

Did he tell you where the money is?
No...but he will.

What about the escape? He wasn't
suspicious, was he?

Oh, I don't think so.

I was afraid I made it look rather easy.

Largo and German aren't the best
actors in the world.

Oh, it all worked perfectly.

Now, all you have to do is to convince him to
pick the money up on your way back to Nice.

I will.

How does it feel to be in love with
a genius?

Tell him.

Or better still...tell both of us.

How does it feel to be in love with a
genius?

How long have... have you been there?

Long enough. I was waiting for Jean,
too.

You mean, you knew, all the time?

Of course.

I was suspicious about the escape.

It was all too easy. A child of three could have
hit me when I was climbing through that window.

Well, then, if you knew...

..then why did you go through with it?

Well, it er... it amused me.

Very ingenious, especially the
bleeper in Jenny's compact.

When she used it, it sent back our position.

Oh, Simon, listen, please. I know setting this
up was wrong. Pretending to be kidnapped.

but Jean and I are in love.

We want to be married.

I take it that Daddy objects.

Objects? He's impossible.

Nobody's good enough for his little girl.

Oh, it isn't just Jean. It's
anybody. He's pathological about it.

And this way, of course, you would
have one million dollars to set up house with.

If you really knew my father, you
wouldn't blame us.

He's never given me any love or understanding
or kindness. He's never given me anything.

Well, darling, I'm afraid he is going
to give you plenty,

when he gets you back after this
little caper.

Oh, please, please, tell us where
the money is.

You are joking?
It means nothing to him. Nothing.

Try telling him that. He'll be fascinated.

Jenny, we'll make our own way
without the money.

It was a mad idea, anyway.

You will let us go?

Now, don't get me wrong.
I am all for true love.

But you've had quite a dance, you two,

and now the piper must be paid,
namely, Daddy.

Namely, us.

Largo, German, listen. It's not
necessary. Now...

Hey, what are you doing?

Frisk Templar.

You promised us $, for our part in this.

Well, you're not going to get it.
No, we're not. We're going to get all of it.

Over there with lover-boy.

Jean, what are they gonna do with us?

You are crazy.

You don't really think we were gonna settle for a
lousy $, each? You're the one that's crazy.

Interesting situation.

It's going to get more interesting,
Mr Templar - I promise you.

Now, get this, and get it clear.

These two lovebirds mean nothing to us.

He's a big-headed smart aleck, and she's a rich,
spoiled brat. k*lling them would be a pleasure...

..after what we've been put through
for the last hours.

And k*ll them is exactly what we'll
do, Mr Templar...

..if you don't take us to where the money is.

They won't find you here for days.
In the meantime, we'll be in South America.

So, it's up to you, Mr Templar.

Do they live or die?

Well, if you put it that way,
I don't have much choice, do I?

Let's get started. It'll be daylight soon.

The barn up ahead - that's it.

How did you find it?

I passed it on the way to the airfield.
It seemed as good a spot as any.

Come on. Get out, all of you.

Wait.

Right, over there.

And the lovebirds.

Move!

OK, Templar, where is it?

I said: where is it?

Not far from the cottage, there was a
railway line.

Where there are railways,
there are telephones.

Quit stalling. Get it.

Anyway, I called Ben Kersh.

Now, if I know Ben Kersh, he will have half
the police force on their way here right now.

Who do you think you're kidding? You couldn't
possibly have known, when you phoned Kersh,

if you phoned him, that we were coming here.

Well, it was worth a try.

Templar, I mean it.

The money, or you die in five seconds.

Simon, give it to them.

Please...give it to them.

OK.

Anything to oblige a lady.

Come on, Templar. Hurry it up!

Finding a million dollars in a
haystack takes a bit of doing.

Here it is.

Aaaarghh!

All right, fellas. On your feet.
The game's over.

Ces gars-la.

Jenny? Jenny, baby, are you allright?

Yes. Huh?

Yeah! Thanks, Templar.

You're welcome.I'll take the money.

Alors...Just a moment.

There's another one. You mean him?

No. The third man's in the movie business.

He slipped the ransom film into your dailies.

Then he jumped me, because he wanted
all the action for himself.

Arnie? He was my first choice. But I was wrong.

I winged the man who jumped me.

As for Jean...

..you'll have to listen to what he
and Jenny have to say,

and decide whether or not you're
going to prosecute.

Templar, just tell me one thing. How could
you have possibly known we were coming here?

I thought you'd never ask.

We had to. May I?

You see, sooner or later, it always
ends where the money is.