04x08 - Orange Is the New Max

[bunniefuu]

- MALE TV ANNOUNCER: Coming up next on "Cupcake Island,"

the contestants fight off a tiger

with just a tube of frosting.

- TIGER: [on TV] [roars] - WOMAN: [on TV] [screams]

- BARB: Oh!

We're eating cupcakes while watching cupcakes.

- That's called winning the game of life, honey.

- Oh, hey, kids. Do you want some cupcakes?

- Put those away.

Max and I gave up desserts

in order to get in peak physical form to make the Z Force.

- They don't want cupcakes?

Is it too late to have more kids?

- Yes!

- Why would we need cupcakes when we've got rice cakes?

- BOTH: [chomping]

- Mm! Gross.

- [monitor beeping]

- FEMALE COMPUTER VOICE: Alert! Alert!

Incoming transmission from Super President Kickbutt.

- Thundermans, I have a very special assignment for Max.

- For Max?

What, are you guys testing out

some new sort of super hairspray?

- We'd like you to speak to some troubled youths

at the Metroburg Juvenile Detention Center.

- Oh, Max, remember that summer you spent there

while the rest of us-- - BARB: Unh-unh.

- --didn't go on vacation to Hawaii?

- You guys went where?

- President Kickbutt is talking.

- As a reformed supervillain,

we think you'd be a perfect role model

to help the kids turn over a new cape.

- Me? A role model?

I mean, fashion model, sure.

- [camera shutter clicks] - No filter needed.

- Are you going to do it or not?

- Uh...yeah, I'll do it.

But only if they name a sandwich after me in the cafeteria.

- Fine. You can have the chopped liver and onions.

- Yes!

- Super President Kickbutt, out!

- [sighs, laughs]

The Maximus O. Thunderman liver and onion sandwich.

[chuckles] Every time they puke,

they'll think of this guy.

- Well, what do you think about that, Barb?

Max is goin' back to super juvie.

- Yeah.

This time we can tell people about it.

- This is so much better than the last time I was there.

I mean, the only people they had come talk to us

were a couple of lame supes.

- Didn't they send Mom and Dad? - Yeah, it was the worst.

- ♪

- Nora, there's bedbugs on the couch!

- Save some for me.

- [digital bugs squishing]

- [bell dings] - All right, triple bug bonus!

- [video game music playing]

- A cockroach crawled under the lamp.

- [lamp shatters]

- Cockroaches?!

Kids, pack your bags! We're moving!

- HANK: [screams]

Evil Super Cockroach is back?

You ate my sidekick, but you won't eat my family!

- We're just playing Super Bug Blitz.

Can you just stop being old?

- I knew that.

Stop being so old, Barb.

- Kids, look at this mess.

You can't tear up the whole house for a video game.

- We didn't tear up the whole house.

- Yeah, we haven't even been near the bathroom.

- BOTH: [gasp] The bathroom!

- BILLY: Jackpot.

- [glass shatters] - [digital bugs squishing]

- Okay, they have a problem.

- [whooshing]

Take that, spider! - Look at Chloe.

Where'd you get that phone?

- Uh...I love you?

[whooshing]

- ♪

- Phoebe-e-e-e-e!

Oh, Phoebe, hi. What brings you by?

- 'Cause for the past minutes,

you've been screaming "Phoebe-e-e!"

- Well, since you're here, do you mind cutting my nails?

They could use a trim.

- Ugh! No, I'm not touching those.

- Then I'll just do this.

- [nails screeching]

- Okay! Okay! Okay! I'll cut them.

- I just need them short enough so I can hit that button.

- PHOEBE: "Top Secret Party." Colosso, what is this?

- Don't touch it. You're not invited.

- [triumphant music plays]

- You made a "Welcome Back To Being Evil" banner for Max?

- That banner could be for anybody.

- [triumphant music plays]

- What makes you think he's gonna go back to being evil?

- Hanging with those pint-sized villains today

will remind him how much fun it was to be a bad guy.

You know, before you ruined him?

- Aren't you a pint-sized villain?

- I'm fun-sized. It's different.

The point is he'll be back to the old Max in no time.

- No way. Max gave up evil.

When Max gives something up, it's for good.

- Oh, like he gave up sweets?

Well, feast your eyes on the security monitors.

- [typing on keyboard]

- COLOSSO: This was taken this morning,

before he left for Metroburg.

- PHOEBE: What? Uh...

It can't be.

- And look what happens next.

- Oh, come-- no, Max, not the trash.

No, don't eat it.

What the-- Don't! Don't! Aww...

How am I the single one?

- Told ya.

He couldn't resist those cupcakes.

And he won't be able to resist being evil again.

- I guess I was wrong.

- Heh. Maybe you should push that button one more time.

- [foghorn blasting]

- [laughs] You were wrong.

[laughter continues]

- ♪

♪ What you see

♪ Is not what you get

♪ Livin' our lives with a secret ♪

♪ We fit right in

♪ Bet you never guessed

♪ 'Cause we're livin' our lives ♪

♪ Just like all the rest

♪ A picture perfect family ♪

♪ Is what we try to be

♪ Look closer, you might see ♪

♪ The crazy things we do

♪ This isn't make believe ♪

♪ It's our reality

♪ Just your average family

♪ Trying to be normal and stay out of trouble ♪

♪ Livin' a double life ♪

- ♪

- MAX: Hey. - [chuckles]

Little Max Thunderman.

As I live and breathe. - MAX: [chuckles]

Officer Bosco! - BOTH: [laugh]

- Ooh, I still can't believe you're the same boy

who started the puddin' rebellion.

Uh, what was that slogan?

- "We're not puddin' up with this."

- BOTH: [laugh] - That's the one.

- Ha! - [laughs]

You'd better be careful in there.

This crop of delinquents is as bad as they come.

- Not for long.

I'm here to be a good influence on them.

Ugh.

It feels weird to say that out loud.

- The kids are right through that thundertanium door.

- [metal clanking]

- We had to upgrade the security systems

since somebody escaped three times.

- Ah...

I was so good at being bad. - [chuckles]

Well, now, nobody gets in or out without my knowing.

- [beep] - Hey, there.

- Oh! What the--

How'd you get past the security system?

- Oh, I'm the official Hero League protector.

I have access to every code in Metroburg.

It's a perk.

I also give free jelly jams.

- Ooh, I like you.

- Phoebe, what are you doing here?

- Well, President Kickbutt wanted me

to come watch you change some lives.

I don't mind. Do you? 'Cause she didn't mind.

Do you mind? - I don't mind.

- I have my talk all planned out.

And you can't be here, throwing around your pointy elbows.

- Look, don't make her leave.

She might take the jelly jams.

You want one? - PHOEBE: [laughs]

Max wouldn't eat those. He's given up sweets.

And when he gives something up, it's for good.

Right, Max?

- Back up. Why are you so close to me?

- Before you go in there,

you've gotta put on these power zappers.

No superpowers allowed in the detention center.

- Wait.

There's something very important I need to do first.

[powers whooshing] - Ow! Ow! Ow!

- [laughs] Classic Max.

- Ha ha! I knew you'd like that.

- BOSCO: [laughs]

- ♪

- President Kickbutt, our phones are missing.

- Send in the Z Force.

- The Z Force is at the center of the Earth

fighting a giant radioactive worm.

- Good! They're not busy.

- I am.

Stop calling me.

- Kids, we have your phones.

- Oh, good.

We'd better warm up our squishing fingers.

- Ow! Cramp.

- Kids, we took your phones away

because you were destroying the house.

You guys need a break from technology.

- When your mother and I were kids,

we used to play a little game called "go outside."

- Yeah.

- We play "Go Outside." It's an app.

On our phones.

- Every ten minutes, it charges both of your credit cards.

It's so fun.

- No, we actually played outside--

real games, like pick up sticks.

- Paint the sticks.

- Kick the sticks.

It was a lot of stick-based games.

- How old are you guys?

- Outside. - Mm-hmm.

- Fine. Come on, Nora.

I think the outside is that way?

- [door buzzes]

- All right...

time to meet Metroburg's worst of the worst.

This is T-Bone. He has magnet powers.

- I'm also a babe magnet.

- Child, sit down.

- This is Gale Force. She's a human wind tunnel.

- That's right. I blow a mighty wind.

- From which end?

- Wanna find out?

- This little one, they call Maisy.

And we don't talk about her power.

- Hello, Phoebe.

- How does she know my name?

- You're gonna be great. [chuckles]

You're gonna be great.

[chuckles] Release the monsters.

- [force field hums]

- Time to be an inspiration.

Sit down, delinquents!

- Where do you want me to go? - Away. You're ruining my flow.

So, you little wannabes think being bad is cool?

[scoffs]

Well, it's not!

- How would you know, buttface?

- It's "Mr. Buttface," to you.

And I used to be evil, just like you.

- You? Evil?

What's the worst thing you've ever done?

- Remember that news anchor that got punched by the kangaroo?

- Everybody knows Punchy.

- Well, I trained him. [laughs]

Yeah, they tried to turn Punchy good again,

but once you made an anchorman cry, there's no going back.

- Then you turned good. Right, Max?

- Why'd you bring your mom?

- We are twins.

- Sit down and stop riling up the juvies, Mom.

- Yeah! - Burn!

- I know where you sleep.

- The point is you are never too evil to change,

no matter what you've done.

- Well, uh, I destroyed a whole city

with a tornado made of corn--

a cornado.

- Okay.

Uh, thanks for sharing. [chuckles nervously]

You...

might be in your forever home.

What about you, T-Bone?

- I dropped a satellite on my gym teacher's car.

You tackle that, Coach Kelly!

- Please. Heh! That stuff's not that bad.

You know, I once tried to take over the world with, uh...

[chuckles] ...Dark Mayhem.

- KIDS: [gasping]

- You know Dark Mayhem? - Know him?

I was almost his plus-one at the Villain Awards.

- Okay, let's not forget to tell them about the time

you helped me take down Dark Mayhem--

'cause you're not evil anymore.

Remember that part, Max?

- Wait.

You took down Dark Mayhem, too?

- I don't wanna brag, but...

I gained his trust and stabbed him in the back.

- Wow.

Bosco, bring me a Max Thunderman sandwich!

- BOSCO: Get your own sandwich!

- ♪

- Woo!

- Aw, Hank!

The kids are having so much fun without their phones.

- Is it possible to be too good at parenting?

- BARB: [laughs]

- Oh, we should reward ourselves

with the "Cupcake Island" finale.

- Yeah. I have to see if Tristan can b*at Bryce

after that gator took his baking hat.

Hank!

The TV's gone!

- What kind of filthy, no-good loser would steal our TV?

- These losers.

- What?

- We realized you guys were right.

We've all been spending too much time staring at screens.

- So we made the TVs go bye-bye.

- Um, kids, we... we appreciate the thought.

But we're about to watch our show's big finale.

- It is very important

we find out who gets off Cupcake Island.

- Maybe you could fly there-- on "Twig" Town Airlines.

- Sorry we can't "stick" around.

- You'll need these.

- Sticks?

Barb, I wanna watch

America's number-one dessert-themed reality show.

- Maybe we should take our own advice

and take a break from our devices.

- Yeah, I mean, I guess we don't need to see Bryce win.

- No, it's gonna be Tristan.

- Bryce! - Tristan!

- BOTH: We have to find the TV!

- Then I took control of Tech Rider's super cycle,

and almost drove my sister straight off a cliff!

[laughs]

Dr. Colosso and I laughed about that one for weeks.

- You used to be so awesome, Mr. Buttface.

- Yeah. Why did you turn good?

- Because I...

I don't know.

- Well, Max, you turned good because you love your family.

And deep down, he was really good the whole time.

- No, that's not it.

- Uh, I have an idea.

Why don't we write down all the things

we love about being good, huh?

Here. For instance, I love flossing twice a day

and having a brother I can totally trust.

- Wait, everyone stop.

Give me those pens.

Phoebe, I need to talk to you immediately.

- [chuckles] ♪ His mom's in trouble

- Will you cut it out so I can change their stupid lives?

- I'm just trying to help you.

- They're villains. If you give them pens,

they're gonna use them to pry off their power zappers.

- I think you're overreacting.

Wait, why is one of those pens a straw?

- Because I switched it.

- [zapping]

- Now we're gonna teach you a lesson.

- [wind gust]

- MAX & PHOEBE: [thudding]

- [powers zapping]

- I think I'm gettin' through to 'em.

- ♪

- You kids are being very rude right now.

Just putting that out there.

- Shut your stupid trap.

- You guys better let us out of here or else!

- Or else what?

- Or else...

I'm gonna repeat my request to be released.

- If the Hero League ever wants to see either of you again,

they're gonna have to agree to our demands.

- What have we got so far, T-Bone?

- Uh, a picture of me in a silly hat.

Man, I miss hats.

- What was President Kickbutt

thinking, sending you down here today?

- ♪ We-e-e-e-ll...

she didn't send me so much as I made the whole thing up.

- What? Then why'd you come down here?

- ♪ We-e-e-e-ll...

- Just say it.

- Because this is the first time you've spent any time

with villains since you stopped being evil.

I was afraid that being around these kids

might bring out the old Max.

- So...you think I'd just go back

to be evil, just like that?

- No, I just meant-- - No, I get it.

You think I'll always be a villain.

And you're right.

- I'm sorry, what?

- People never really change.

I guess being back here with them

reminded me of who I really am.

- A stand-up guy who loves his family?

- No.

Evil. [evil chuckle]

Hey, kids! Let me help you out.

- Come on, Max, you've worked so hard

to turn your life around-- don't throw it all away.

- You know, real supervillains

would've busted outta this joint by now.

- How?

Even with our powers, we can't break that door down.

- Well, I guess you'll just have to talk to someone

who has access to every prison code in Metroburg.

- [clicks tongue]

Good thing there's no one here like that.

- President Kickbutt gave my sister all the access codes

back when she was named protector of Hiddenville.

- Then tell your mom to get your sister down here.

- I am his sister!

- Give them the code. - Never!

- I'll break her. My powers break everyone.

- [powers zapping] - PHOEBE: [giggling]

- Hyperkinetic tickle powers?

It's evil and adorable.

- [giggling]

[crying]

- HANK: [sobbing]

Our TV has to be here somewhere!

- I'm coming for ya, "Cupcake Island"!

[roars] - [couch thuds]

- Whoa, maybe we should give them back the TV.

- No. This is what we're waiting for, Billy.

They're cracking.

- Oh, kids! [laughs]

Listen, uh, your mother and I think

that we have taught you

a very valuable life lesson, right, Barb?

- Yep, yep! You guys learned.

We learned. Everybody learned.

- Here are your phones.

Now, where is our TV?

- I don't know-- the sticks are pretty fun.

- Give us back our TV!

- Oh, Chloe!

- [whooshing]

- He-he-hey!

I don't think that's our TV.

- It's all right, Hank, just take it.

- Billy, look.

They added crickets to Super Bug Blitz.

- What a time to be alive.

- [digital bugs squishing]

- Look, the kids are back to their old habits

because we couldn't give up TV.

Does this mean we're bad parents?

- No. Watch this. - [bugs continue squishing]

- Kids, go play with your phones...outside.

[chuckling]

That is called winning the game of parenting, honey.

And now to find out who won "Cupcake Island."

- BARB: Ooh...

- Tristan won it all, baby! [whooshing]

- BOTH: Chloe!

- [sobbing]

- PHOEBE: [continues giggling]

- Get her pointy elbows, where she's weak!

- Ow! [cries]

Okay, okay. The first number is .

Just please stop. [giggling]

- Come on. Just tell us the rest of the code.

- Max, why did you have to go back to being evil?

- Isn't it obvious?

So they'd be distracted while I do this.

[grunts] - [electrical zapping]

- [laughs]

- [powers zapping]

[powers zapping]

- [sighs]

Max, I knew you were good.

Well, now I do.

Before, I thought you were totally evil.

- Traitor! - Let's take them down!

- ♪

- All right...

we should get these power zappers on 'em before...

[giggling] ...they hurt us really bad.

- [powers zapping] - PHOEBE: What? What?

Why can't I control my hand?

- T-BONE: 'Cause there's metal in your watch.

Told you I'm a babe magnet.

[giggling]

Maisy, stop.

I'm gonna pee my pants. [giggling]

- Max, now!

- ♪

- All right, one of us just has to get to her.

- Oh, looks like we're in for some stormy weather.

- [wind gust]

- ♪

- [heavy thud]

- Max, it's up to you!

- I'm gonna need a push!

- ♪

- [sighs] Gotcha, windbag!

- That would be funny...

if I didn't just pee my pants.

- Sorry, kids.

But I told you, evil doesn't pay.

- Really?

'Cause it was kinda evil how you tricked us.

- Guys, being a superhero doesn't mean

you have to be all goody-goody like my older sister here.

- We are the same age!

- So, we can be superheroes, but still be cool like you?

- [chuckles] Exactly.

- All right. I'm in. - Me, too.

- I'll think about it.

- Hey.

I'm sorry I doubted you.

Should've trusted that you gave up being evil.

- Yeah, when Max Thunderman says

he's giving something up, it's for good.

You know about the cupcakes, don't you?

- And the garbage cupcakes. - Awww...

- [door buzzes]

- Oh, I forgot to tell you-- don't hand out any pens.

- ♪

- ♪