04x21 - Rhythm n' Shoes

[bunniefuu]

- ♪

- [lasers zapping] - Ah!

- [lasers zapping] - Ow!

- NORA: Faster! Faster!

- Barb, it's like you predicted.

Nora's gone mad with power.

- No, no, no, she's helping us stay focused.

Ow!

Thank you.

We're trying to get Cheyanne to come to our high school.

- Oh, yes, Cheyanne, the, uh, really famous person

the kids love because she is a famous...

- Singer. - ...singer.

- Cheyanne's holding a contest.

She'll do a live performance on Chirper

at whichever school sends her the most chirps.

- Yeah, we gave Billy a bunch of spaz berries

to get him to chirp faster, but it didn't go so well.

- BILLY: [zooming] - Hi, Billy. Bye, Billy.

[gasps] Time's up!

They're tallying up the chirps.

- Well, I hope you win.

- Yeah, and so do two young girls,

who not long ago came up with a list of dream selfies.

- And those girls... were us.

Also, those girls, and those girls,

they're all us.

- We've gotten almost every selfie on the list.

Duck face with a duck.

Fish face with a fish.

- Selfie at Selfie Mountain.

- She means Mount Rushmore.

There's only one selfie missing--

the celebrity selfie.

That's why I'm trying to get Cheyanne here.

- Let's see if we won.

- [gurgling tone] - What?

My chirps didn't go through.

- Mine, either.

- Sorry, sometimes my lasers mess with cellphones.

Well, this has been fun. Bye!

- Oh, sorry you lost your contest.

But I do know two celebrities

who would be more than happy

to put on their duck faces for your final selfie.

- Awww...how do I put this?

No.

So, who did win?

- It says Hiddenville High.

I wish we went to that school.

- Cherry, we do.

Four million chirps?

How did we get that many?

- Because of Cheyanne's future boyfriend.

Harry Styles? - No, me!

I hacked Chirper and got us all the votes.

I also hacked the Thunder monitor.

- FEMALE VOICE: Alert! Alert!

Max is my master now.

- Once Cheyanne sees me, she'll fall so hard

that she'll break a tooth,

and then I'll keep dating her,

even though she has a weird tooth.

We're gonna have an amazing life together.

- [romantic classical music]

- Thanks for loving me and my weird tooth, Max.

- Anything for you, popstar wife Cheyanne.

Welcome home.

- CHEYANNE: [screams]

- So, your dream is to marry your celebrity crush

and live in your parents' basement?

- No!

We'll spend our summers in the garage.

- ♪

- Okay, Chloe, our Splat Castle is complete.

- Time to slay the nasty dragon!

- I probably should be telling you

not to play with your food.

But I kinda wanna see if the fry knight

saves the pickle princess.

- Oh, my gosh, the Hairwear Pop Up is coming to Hiddenville!

- The hair what now?

- It's like a temporary store that sells

hats, headbands and bows-- lots and lots of bows.

- Oh, well, I have been in the market for a new sun visor.

It blocks the sun from my face,

but leaves my head free to breathe!

- Yeah, your last eight went mysteriously missing.

- Nora, will you help me buy my first bow?

- [gasps]

I've been waiting your whole life for you to say that.

- Yay, it's my bow-mitzvah!

- Now our castle looks like it needs some ketchup.

I'll go get some.

- Mmm!

- Dad, don't eat the pickle princess.

- Stace, look, her ketchup pumping game is flawless.

- And so is her bow game.

- BOTH: Yas!

- I don't know if you know I can hear you,

but I can.

- She's throwing shade.

I love her.

- I'm Stacie. This is Heather.

- I'm Nora and I know who you are.

You're the girls who made headbands

and fedoras cool again.

Big fan.

- Wait. Lightbulb! Brilliant!

We should all go to the Hairwear Pop Up tomorrow.

- You guys wanna hang out with me?

- Headbands, fedoras, bows.

It just makes sense.

- That would be great.

Oh, my gosh, are we becoming a squad?

- BOTH: Yas!

- Oh, wait. I just remembered.

I promised I'd go to that pop up with my sister.

But maybe I can bring her along--

- Hold on. Pause. Full stop.

You wanna hang out with your little sister?

- Yeah.

- BOTH: Dislike!

- Nora, hanging with us is hanging with friends.

Hanging with your little sister

is just babysitting for free.

- It's okay. Maybe she doesn't wanna become

part of a fashion forward trio.

- No! I do.

I can babysit my sister whenever, for money, obvi.

- So, is that a yes?

- No.

It's a "Yas!"

- BOTH: Yas!

- ALL: [giggling]

- [lively music playing]

- Oh.

Sweet!

You finally wrote a theme song

to play every time I enter a room.

- It's not for you. It's for me.

Now that you're good, I'm rusty at being evil.

So, I'm following my other passion.

- I thought you gave up on space travel

'cause the suit made you look fat.

- No, music!

I'm gonna be a world-famous DJ.

- You can't be a DJ.

You have no thumbs.

- You think I need thumbs to do this?

[record scratching]

- Not bad.

Needs thumbs.

- Why can't you support me?

- Because I have bigger things going on.

That reminds me-- it is time.

- Is that your celebrity crush body spray kit?

- Yep.

Cheyanne's gonna be performing at my school tomorrow,

and she won't be able to resist me while I'm wearing...

[imitates spraying]

Beast Musk!

- Cheyanne?

I can make a special remix of her latest hit.

You could give it to her in person.

This is my dream!

- But if she listens to it and doesn't like it,

it could ruin my dream

of marrying her on a party submarine.

- Please, Max, I'm begging you.

At least make it your ringtone.

Maybe she'll hear it.

- Hmmm...

Fine. - Woo!

- [bottle shatters]

- Whoops, now this place is gonna be

lousy with lady beasts.

- ♪

- Okay, Cheyanne is upstairs getting ready

for her performance tonight.

We get up there, we get our selfie.

- And I get my steps in--

currently at, uh, three.

- Hi, we were hoping to meet Cheyanne.

- No.

- Phoebe, allow me.

I speak fluent "bodyguard."

Hey, pepper spray! - No!

- Hey, why are you letting them in?

- Because they're Cheyanne's dancers--

and you two are givin' off a strong weirdo vibe.

- Now what? - I don't know.

Trick the security guard into thinking

that we're Cheyanne's background dancers,

so she lets us in? - That would be wrong.

But it would also probably work, so let's do it.

- Yay!

- Come on, let's practice our moves.

- Oh, ho, ho. Let me guess.

You two got rejected for meeting Cheyanne.

- Okay, for your information, that is not what happened.

- Yeah, it is. - A-meh, meh, moo.

- Hey, I'm so sorry about them.

Anyway, I'm here to see Cheyanne.

Yeah, I'm the whole reason

the school won the Chirper contest.

- Oh, you're the reason? - Yeah.

- No!

- Okay, fine. I understand.

Nothing can keep me from my bae!

Oh! [heavy thud]

Cheyanne and I will not be inviting you

to our submarine wedding.

- COLOSSO's VOICE: [ringtone] DJ Colosso!

- ♪ You gotta believe in what you are ♪

- Oh, why'd I let him change my ringtone?

This remix is the worst thing ever.

- That remix is the best thing ever!

- It's Cheyanne! Be cool, Max.

Work the Beast Musk.

- Whoever DJ Colosso is,

I've gotta meet him, like yesterday.

- Well, you're in luck...

because I know DJ Colosso.

[laughing]

That is me! [laughing]

- ♪

♪ What you see

♪ Is not what you get

♪ Livin' our lives with a secret ♪

♪ We fit right in

♪ Bet you never guessed

♪ 'Cause we're livin' our lives ♪

♪ Just like all the rest

♪ A picture perfect family ♪

♪ Is what we try to be

♪ Look closer, you might see ♪

♪ The crazy things we do

♪ This isn't make believe ♪

♪ It's our reality

♪ Just your average family

♪ Trying to be normal and stay out of trouble ♪

♪ Livin' a double life ♪

- Let's get to the Hairwear Pop Up

before all the cool sun visors are gone.

- Girls, come on!

Your father wants to pay full price for half a hat.

- [whooshing]

- Oh, someone looks like she's ready for her first bow.

- And maybe ready for her first visor, huh?

- Uh, sure.

[silently] No.

- Bad news, guys. I can't go to the pop up.

I have scalp mites.

- Scalp mites? Ewwww!

I mean, how are you feeling?

- Mostly worried that they're gonna be at the pop up,

which is why you guys should get outta here,

and do something else with the rest of your day.

- But what about our bows?

- We can get bows another time.

I'm sure another pop up will pop up.

That's why they're called pop ups.

Well, I'll see you guys in four to six hours

after whatever non-pop up activity you choose.

- Bye, Nora.

- Ah! She knows we love her. Let's just go.

- Feel better. - See ya.

- [door closes]

- I do now.

- ♪

- Hey, Colosso.

- BILLY: [zooming]

- Hey, Billy.

- Max! Max! I called you six times.

Any chance Cheyanne heard my ringtone?

- She sure did. - And?

- She hated it.

- What?

Great.

Music's the only thing I love as much as being evil,

and I can't even do that right.

- Oh, come on, buddy. It's not true.

You take bad news really well.

- [sobbing] No, I don't!

[sobbing]

- Max, you're super judgy.

We're trying to be Cheyanne's back-up dancers.

Tell us what you think.

- [lively music playing]

- Five, six, seven, eight!

- ♪

- CHERRY: Woo! Oh!

[groans]

Next time, let's take it from the bottom.

- Guys, just face it.

You're never gonna meet Cheyanne.

I, on the other hand, totally hit it off with her.

- Really? You met Cheyanne?

- Uh-huh.

She even took my digits. - [cellphone ringing]

- [gasps] It's her! She's calling!

Quiet! I'm being cool.

Hey, Cheyanne. [laughs] S'up?

- Hey!

- He's talking to Cheyanne.

- I have got popstar problems.

My DJ accidentally glued his hands together.

- What? That's so crazy.

[quietly] I did it.

So, I guess that means you need a new DJ.

- Exactly.

You already mixed my song,

so, we can just do that version.

- Oh, no problem.

It's so weird.

It's like the universe wants us to be together.

[quietly] I'm the universe.

- Thank you so much. You're really saving me.

Smooches! [blows kiss]

- Smooche-- Oh, she hung up.

But you heard her. We're smoochin'.

- Max, this is perfect.

Now that you're Cheyanne's DJ,

you could help us get a selfie with her.

- Yeah, I could do that.

Or I could do this.

♪ Cheyanne and Max are smoochin' ♪

♪ Cheyanne and Max are smoochin' ♪

- Phoebe, this is awful.

We're never gonna learn Cheyanne's moves

in time to pass as her dancers.

- Cherry, these two girls

started off with a cellphone and a dream.

We can't let them down.

- Well, we're about to,

unless you've got some magic shoes

that can help us dance.

Actually, do you, because that could really help us.

- No, Cherry, I don't have any magic dancing shoes.

But I do know an evil master of fashion who might.

- I could build you magic dancing shoes.

But I won't!

- I thought you might say that,

which is why we brought you...

tiny formalwear.

- Oooh! Ahhhh!

- Where are the white gloves?

Where's the cummerbund? You brought me nothing!

- Wow, Max really cares about DJ'ing nowadays, huh?

- Correction. I'm the DJ of this lair.

At least, I was until my dreams got crushed.

- Well, Max is saying he's the DJ.

He just talked to Cheyanne about

playing his remix for her performance.

- He took credit for my remix?

That liar!

I'm so mad, I'm gonna destroy this room!

[grunting]

Uh, imagine things are more torn apart.

- Hey, uh, Colosso, why don't Cherry and I trash this room

in exchange for you building us some dance shoes?

- Deal!

- [objects clattering]

- You moron, that was my shelf.

Ah!

- Blue fedora or orange fedora?

- Both! - ALL: Yas!

- Oh, gee, Nora, we haven't had this much fun

with someone who isn't us in forevs.

- Aren't you glad you didn't bring your baby sister?

- Uh-oh.

- Look, Mommy, there's bows over there.

- Nora, is this adorable or dead ugly?

Hey, where'd she go?

- I don't know, but I think that hat's from last season.

- Ew!

- BARB: Chloe, it is so sweet of you

to risk getting scalp mites,

so you can buy a bow for you and Nora.

If I see one person scratch, we are outta here.

- Actually, Barb, the place looks clear.

Which means it's visor time!

I'm gonna go find a supervisor to help me find a super visor.

- Oh, I hate his hats, but I love his jokes.

- ♪

- Hey, DJ Colosso.

I just wanted to make sure the turntables

and mixers are up to your standards.

- [laughing] Totally turny and mixy.

- Great! Well, I've gotta get ready.

Big show tonight.

- Do you wanna live in a basement?

Uh...I mean...uh...

hang out later?

- Uh, cool. It's a date.

- It is?

- As long as you don't mess up my performance.

- BOTH: [laugh]

- For real, though, millions of people will be watching.

Don't blow it!

- I won't. [laughs]

I just have to figure out how to fake DJ.

- [feedback screeching] - Not like that.

- Okay. We'll probably never see our old clothes again,

but it's okay.

- Tell me about these dancing Colosso shoes again.

- Okay, he built them to have b*at-absorbing technology,

so, we can follow any choreography and any song.

Let's do it.

- Excuse us, background dancers comin' through.

- Stop! - Oh!

- You don't belong up there.

- [laughs] Tell that to our dance moves.

- [lively music playing] - [electrical zapping]

- You've got five seconds...

to get up there and share your gift.

- Sorry, girls, but the only selfie you'll get today

is of me using those shoes to get revenge on Max.

[evil laughter]

- ♪

- Oh, yes, I'd like to make a reservation tonight

for me and my girlfriend.

Oh, also, do you know how to make that

wiki-wiki-wiki sound on a turntable?

Hello?

- All right, time to test out these shoes

with a little bunny hop.

- [electrical zapping] - CHERRY: Whoa! Whoa!

- MAX: Oh!

Hey! You coulda messed with my b*at match,

or my cross fade or...

other DJ words.

- Cherry, I don't know why you kicked Max,

but nice job.

All right, stay focused.

Oh, there's Cheyanne.

- Ooh, she's so Cheyanne-y.

- Dancers, bring it in for the spirit circle.

- You know, um, my spirit is asking for a selfie.

- So is my spirit.

Ooooh, I need a selfie.

- Hey, Cheyanne, why don't you like take a selfie with us?

- Sure, give me your phone.

- BOTH: It's happening!

- So I can turn it off.

- BOTH: It's not happening.

- This performance isn't about selfies.

It's about the millions of fans that'll be watching us.

- Could it be about selfies afterwards?

- Totally.

- BOTH: [squealing]

- ♪

- These aren't special enough for Nora.

- What do you mean, Chloe?

- I wanna get her the best bow,

'cause she's the best big sister ever, baby!

- Awww...

- Okay, well, we'll keep looking

until we find the perfect bow for Nora.

- There you are. We found you a bow.

It brings out our eyes,

so when we stand next to you, we totally pop.

- Love it. Grateful. New plan.

Let's go to the mall and buy hair stuff there.

- Is this because of your family?

Don't worry, they're clueless.

- What do you mean clueless?

- It means we saw your family and your little sister

was all like... [baby talk] I love my big sister.

She's the best, baby!

- She doesn't sound like that.

Actually, that was pretty good.

But she could be anywhere having fun,

and she chose to come here for me.

- Well, do you wanna hang out with us

or your...[baby talk] baby sister?

- You guys-- - BOTH: Yas!

- --are awful!

And that "Yas!" thing you're doing is weird.

It's "Yes" with an "e".

- Look, Nora's here.

- Hold on. Are your scalp mites gone?

- Yeah, I got rid of them

to hang out with my little sister.

- Awww...

- It's bow-mitzvah time!

- Hey, guys, I found a visor.

Nora's here!

Keep your mites away from my visor!

- Okay, we're going live in three, two...

- COLOSSO's VOICE: DJ Colosso!

- [lively music playing]

♪ Hey

♪ You gotta believe in what you are ♪

♪ Get back on your feet and try again ♪

♪ You've gotta believe in what you got ♪

♪ Never stop believing

♪ Never stop

♪ Never stop believing

♪ You ooh ooh are something special ♪

♪ Never forget that

- Time for operation Pop, Lock and Flop.

- [electrical zapping] - Ooh! Cherry!

Cherry!

I think there's something wrong with my shoes.

Maybe we should--whoa!

- What are you doing?

Keep dancing! We're live!

- ♪

- COLOSSO's VOICE: DJ Colosso! DJ Colosso!

DJ Colosso! DJ Colosso! DJ Colosso! DJ Colo--

- You're not a DJ. You're just a big fake.

- Wait, Cheyanne, we're supposed to be together,

and live in my parents' basement.

- Get outta here, stinko.

- What? Pam!

I thought we were friends! Pam!

- As for you two... - Hey, Cheyanne,

I know we ruined your million dollar live video,

but we have this selfie bucket list--

- Get out of here! - Okay, we're going!

- ♪

- Colosso, did you have to make a cabbage patch

through that cabbage patch?

- Nice touch, bro.

- Oh, so we're bros again, huh?

- Look, I'm sorry for stealing your beats.

The good news is you don't need a DJ career,

'cause you're still an amazing evil mastermind.

- Oh, thanks, Max.

So, you're not mad at me

for ruining your sh*t with Cheyanne?

- Of course, I am. You're the worst.

But I should actually thank you,

because now millions of people are enjoying

this video of Phoebe and Cherry totally humiliating themselves.

- [lively music playing]

- Wait, Cherry, remember when we were dancing uncontrollably,

we bumped into the camera?

- No, but that's probably because

I hit my head pretty hard.

- Look at this-- my chin, your forehead,

and way in the back, a super angry Cheyanne.

What does that look like to you?

- BOTH: Celebrity selfie!

- Hey, you did it.

Celebration dance.

- Whoa!

Oh!

Why didn't we take these shoes off?

- COLOSSO: [laughing]

- ♪