01x07 - One More Time

[bunniefuu]

Hey, What Do You See?

Hey, Sugar.

Oooh, You Are Cute.

You Are The Cutest Baby
I Have Ever Seen.

What About Me?

You're The Funniest Looking
Baby I've Ever Seen.

Most Babies Look A Little
Funny When They're New.

Mommies And Daddies
Don't Even Notice.

Brothers And Sisters Do.

We All Sold Tickets
To See You, Rudy.

No, Dear.
That Was To See You.

Would You Like To Hold Him?

No, He Might Go On Me.

Can We Watch Him Eat?

His Mother
Already Fed Him.

Maybe He'd Like To
Watch Us Eat.

Can We Have A Snack?

All Right,
But A Small One.

I'm Having A Doughnut.

Me, Too.

You Always Have What I Have.

So Do You.

Cliff.
Hmm?

Look Who's Here.

You Know This One.

Remember?

Did We Go To
College Together?

You Delivered Him
Last Month.

This Is
Janice Harper's Baby.

Janice Didn't Want It,
And Brought It Back?

She's Getting Her Hair Done,
And I'm Baby-Sitting.

Oh, Cliff.

Look At That
Little Round Face.

And That Soft Silky Hair
And The Little Soft Spot.

And That Special
Baby Smell.

Sour Milk.

He's Warm.

Just Holding Him Sets Off
Strange Stirrings Inside.

I Wonder If I Want Another.

Let Me Help You--
You Don't.

Cliff, It's A Miracle.

Dear, We Have
Five Miracles.

Smell It.

Get Out Of Here.

That's Not The Interior
Of Some New Automobile.

You Know You Love Babies.

We'd Bring One Home

And You'd Spend Hours
Just Looking At It.

Cliff:
Yeah.

It Would Grab
Your Finger

And You'd Laugh.

You'd Say, "Look, Clair, I Can
Put Her Whole Foot In My Mouth."

But You Could Only Hold
That Foot In There For So Long

Then The Toes Start Moving
And The Fun Is Over.

Let's Just
Think About It.

Suppose I Want One?

You Can Try
Having One Without Me.

Come On, Cliff.
Smell It.

I Don't Want To
Smell That Baby.

Listen To Me, Please.

This Thing Is A Trap.

This Thing
Can Sell Anything.

But You Must Also Remember
That This Grows Up.

And It Gets High Marks
On The I.Q. Test

But Gets D's In School.

This Grows Up And Takes The Car
Driving All Around The City--

Has No License,
Has No Driver's Permit--

Comes Back And Then Says,
"What Did I Do Wrong?"

I'm Telling You

This Is False Advertising.

This Is Totally Dishonest.

You Don't Want Another One?

There Are Times--
And There Aren't Many--

When I Don't Even Want
The Ones We Have Now.

No, No, No.

Rudy.

Our Little Rudy.

One Day
She'll Be Gone

And Then I Will Have
My Wife Back.

I'm Not Sure This Feeling
Will Go Away.

You Just Tell It
To Go Away.

I Can't, Because It's
A Very Deep Feeling.

Say To It, Deeply,
"Go Away."

We'll Talk Later.

Right Now I'm Taking
The Baby Home.

Good.

And Don't You
Come Back Anymore.

You're A Troublemaker.

Hey, Dad.

What Did I Do?

You Used To Smell Good.

Dad, Where's The Baby?

Mom Took
The Baby Back.

Didn't She Like It?

She Liked It Too Much.

Why Did She Take It Back?

Because If Mom
Wants A Baby

She'll Have To
Make It Herself.

You Can Just
Bring One Home From Work.

Mom's Having Another Baby?

She's Just
Thinking About It.

Do We Want Another One?

I Like The One That Was Here.

AnotherBaby?

Look, She's Just
Thinking About It.

Don't We Get A Vote?

Vote For What?

Dinner?

I Want Pizza.

We're Not Voting About Dinner.

Is This A Dictatorship?

Why Are We
Voting?

We're Not Voting For Anything.

It Is A Dictatorship!

It's Too Early
To Talk About It.

About What?

Mom And A Baby.

Mom's Pregnant?

No, Mom Is Not Pregnant.

(Sigh Of Relief)

(Mimicking Sighs)

What Does That Mean, Denise?

You And Mom Are
Getting Up There.

Meaning What?

Theo:
She Means
You're Old.

She Just Doesn't Want
To Hurt Your Feelings.

And You Do?

I Don't Think
You're Old.

It's Not Like I Think
You're Decrepit Or Anything

But When Older People
Have Babies

It's Kind Of
Embarrassing.

There Are People--

I Happen To Know--

Who Are Much Older
Than Your Mother And I

And They Have Become Parents.

Now If Your Mother And I
Decide...

To Have A Baby

I'm Quite Sure
That We Will Not Go

Into The Guinness Book
Of World Records.

Hey, Then Why Don't You Wait?

We Should Have Waited With You.

Your Mother And I
Haven't Made Up Our Minds.

We Just Don't Know, Okay?

Good.

What's That For?

Nothing.

No, You Got Some Teenage
Words Of Wisdom To Spew Out?

Nothing, Daddy--
It's Your Life.

Just Don't Blow It.

I'm Glad You Didn't Hold Back.

Clair:
I'm Home.

Your Mom Is Here.

I Want You Guys
To Just Act Normally.

Hey!
Hey!
Hey!
Hey!

They Just Love
Looking At You, Dear.

So Do I.

(Whispering:)
Get Out.

Cliff, Today I Saw
The Most Wonderful Thing.

Look At This.

Diapers?

Wait Till You See
The Improvements.

Five Years Ago,
We Had Nothing Like This.

Watch This.

You Can Pull This Thing Open...

And Peek Inside...

And Close It Back Up Again.

Rip. Snap.

What Do
You Think?

And So The Wolf Said

"Little Pig,
Little Pig.

Let Me In!
Let Me In!"

You Like That Voice?

Why?

You Did It
Different Before.

Well, That Was
A Different Wolf.

It's The Same Story.

You Know, You're Right.

That Was The Wolf From
Little Red Riding Hood.

The One For
The Little Pigs

You Put Your Finger
On My Nose, Remember?

Now Give
A Little Squeeze.

Be Gentle, Now.

Okay, Here We Go.

"Little Pig,
Little Pig.

Let Me In!"

All Right, Let Go
Now Because This
Wolf Has A Cold.

Could We Talk?

Uh, Yeah.

Uh, Here.

What About
The Story?

Don't Worry.

Just Use This
As A Bookmark

And We'll
Get Back To It.

Aah! Ha, Ha.
Ha, Ha.

All Right.
Lay It On Me.

It's About The Baby.

Uh, Your Mother And I
May Not Have A Baby

But I Certainly Hope You Have
Something Waiting In Reserve

To Worry About.

Yeah, I Mean,
What If You Do Have It?

You Are Determined
To Be Unhappy, Aren't You?

My Friend Deidre Has A New Baby.

She Says It's Horrible.

It Cries For No Reason At All

And Dad, Babies Don't Smell
That Good All The Time.

Couldn't
We Forget
About A Baby

And Get A Dog?

I Mean, Dogs Smell Great!

No, They Don't.

They Smell Better
Than Babies Do.

Only To Other Dogs.

Now, Come Here,
Please, Dear.

No Matter What
Comes Into This
Houseelse

You Will Always
Be Loved By Us.

I Know You Worry,
You Complain

You See Problems
Where There Are
Problems
Whatsoever.No

That's The Great
Thing About You.

You Know Why?

You Are Our Vanessa.
Understand?

I Love You, Daddy.

That Makes Me
Feel Real Happy.

Yes, And I Know This
Feeling Shall Pass.

Hi, Clair.

Cliff!

My Favorite
Mother-In-Law.

Oh, Vanessa.

Oh, My Baby.

Girl, You're Getting
Older Every Day.

Doesn't Everyone?

Not Me.

Sit Down, Mom.

We'll Talk
In The Kitchen,
Woman To Woman.

Is Your Mother
Having A Baby, Too?

Come On, Mama

Let's Go.

Clair,
What's The Matter?

I Don't Know.

You Tell Me.

So What's Going On?

Mama, Yesterday
I Touched A Baby.

Is That All?

I Might Want Another One.

You Held It, Huh?

Uh-Huh.

And You Smelled It?

Uh-Huh.

Cliff?

He Wouldn't Smell It.

Smart.

Come On.

Now This Is Serious.

I'm Not
An Impetuous Person

But When You Give Me A Tiny Baby

And It's So Soft And Warm,
And I Hold It...

You Understand.

Yes, It's The Trap.

You, Too, Huh?

When You And Cliff Got Married,
What Did I Say?

"Have A Child."

Why?

Revenge.

If You Want The Joy
Of Children Without The Bother

There's A Simple Answer.

Grandchildren.

They're Perfect.

If You Don't Like Them,
You Go Home.

Mama, Didn't You Want Any More?

Why?

The Older You Are
When They're Born

The Older You Are
When They Return.

They Don't Come Back.

John And
Edna Morton--

You Remember Them?

They Have A Daughter Your Age.

She Came Back.

Her Husband Left Her.

Three Children: , And Two.

They All Came Back.

That's One
Isolated Incident.

Ira And Maxine
Davenport

Have A Son .

His Wife Died.

He Comes Home Bringing
Two Boys, And .

None Of Them Are Working.

Oh...

Okay, So That's
Two Isolated Incidents.

Sidney And
Ramona Hufnagle.

Unmarried
Comes
Home...Daughter

Do You Go Around
Collecting These Stories?

They're Not Just Stories.
They Happen.

Don't Let It Happen To You.

How's The Feeling Now?

Less.

Take My Advice:
Grandchildren.

Grandma!

Hello.

Sixteen.

You'll Have One For
Your Mama, Won't You?

What?

A Baby.

Sure.

Grandmother:
Promise?

Yeah.

Wait.

Can I Finish
High School First?

Come On. Come On.
No, No.

No, No, No.

Don't Even Try It!

You Blew It Again.

All Right.

Cliff:
Look Out.

That Puts Me
Two Ahead, Dad.

You Don't Want
To Call A Foul?

Tired?

No, But If You Need Rest...

When I Was Your Age, We Played
From Sunup To Sundown.

When It Got Dark,
We Carried Candles In Our Hand.

Did You Get Enough Rest,
Or You Want To Talk Some More?

Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha.

All Right.

You Better
Be Alert Now.

So You're Up
By Two, Right?

I Score Two To Tie.

Hey!

You're Not Going
For That One?

Huh?

All Right. Hey!

Foul!

No Way!

Foul!

Foul.

That Was
A Plain Miss.

Foul. All Over Me.

It's A Wonder
I Can Get Up.

How Come
You're The Referee?

I'm Not. Just Give Me The Ball.

It's Not Fair.

Take It Up With
The League Commissioner, Okay?

But That's You, Too.

Give Me
The Ball.

All Right.
And Now

Dr. H. Has To Make
These Two Foul sh*ts To Tie You.

And So, Here We Go.

Could You
Move It Along?

I've Got School In Hours.

One More To Tie.

Just sh**t The Ball.

Hey!

Heh, Heh, Heh, Heh.

And Now To Embarrass My Son,
I Will Make It Without Looking.

Now...

Young Huxtable
Has A Chance To Win

Because This Basket

Wins It All.

However, There's
One Thing Missing.

He Has Never Beaten His Father
In All His Life Ever!

Heh, Heh,
Heh, Heh.

So Serious...

Don't Even Try It!

Don't Even
Think About It!

You...

I Won! Hey!

Waah-Hah!

Ha, Ha, Ha!

I Won, Dad! I Won!

I Was There
When You Won.

I Saw It. It's Okay.

You've Beat Me
Hundreds Of Times.

Yes, Indeed.

Don't Help Me.

I'll Get Up Myself.

Look At It This Way.

If You Have
Another Kid Now

You'd Never
Beat Him Once.

Mom, Guess What?

You Don't Have To Yell
And Tell Everybody Everything.

Clair.

Clair!

Clair!

Oops.

You Can't Sleep, Huh?

Neither
Can I.

See, There's Something
I Got To Tell You.

A Clair...

I'm Old, Clair.

And Clair, So Are You.

You're Old, Too.

What?

I'm Sorry To Tell You That.

Oh, Cliff.

You Didn't Wake Me
Up At Three O'clock
In The Morning

To Tell Me I'm Old?

I've Known About It For Hours

Since Theo Beat Me
At Basketball.

I Tried To Protect You
As Long As I Could.

What Are You Talking About?

Well, I'm Just
Talking About This Baby.

I Mean

When We Had Our First Child

We Had Our Whole Life
Ahead Of Us.

If We Had One Now

By The Time
That Child Leaves Home

We Will Be Ready To Go To One.

Cliff...

You Know This Feeling
I've Been Having?

Listen, Don't You Remember
How When We Were Young

We Planned Ahead And Said
We Were Going To Go Places--

We Would Take Cruises
Around The World.

We Were Going To Go To Cairo
And See The Pyramids.

If We Have Another Child,
By The Time We Get There

The Pyramids Will Be Too
Small For Our Eyes.

It's A Very Deep
And Urgent Feeling.

But We Said We Were
Going To Go To Paris

We Were Going Strolling
On The Champs Elysees

And I'm Telling You, If We Wait,
We'll Be Too Old To Stroll.

It's Just A Feeling.

Like All Feelings, It Will Fade.

We Were Going To Go To Rome...

It Will Fade?

I've Decided
I Don't Want Another Baby.

Really?

I Thought I Did

Because I Thought
Having Another Child

Would Make My Life Better.

Then I Thought,
"Better Than What?"

My Life's Already Perfect.

I've Got A Great Job,
A Wonderful Family

And A Loving Husband.

Mmm, Clair...

Who Thinks I'm Old.

I Just Said That
To Get Your Attention.

Yes, You Did Say That.

No...

Are You Old?

Well, No.

Theo Cheats.

Theo Cheats?

Well, He Improves
When I'm Not Looking.

So When Do We
Start Our Travels?

Well, I Figure Rudy Will
Enter College In Years

And We Can Start
The Day After.

Good Night, Cliff.

Good Night, Dear.