03x22 - Clean Up Radio Everywhere

[bunniefuu]

- Mr. Carlson.
- Yes.

There's someone here to see you.

Not today.

Oh, he's been
here quite a while.

Well, no one
should have to wait.

Send him away.

He's written you two letters.

- I don't read my mail.
- He seems rather nice.

We're all nice, jennifer.

I would like you to see him.

Okay. Jeez, it never stops.

Dr. Halyers, this
is mr. Carlson.

Thank you. Mr. Carlson.

- Ah, doctor... Is it?
- Yes.

Thank you for seeing me. I
know how busy you must be.

Oh, gosh, yeah, it
just never stops here.

Uh..., Let me pull
up a chair for you.

Oh-oh, that's all right.
I'll just sit over here.

Oh, fine, fine.

Well, what is it that I
can do for you, doctor?

Well, I hope you've had a
chance to read my letters.

Oh, yes, yes, yes. Medical
things, medical stuff.

Oh, no.

No, I'm a doctor of
divinity, a preacher.

Really? Oho, of course.

Yeah, only the medical
people were in here yesterday.

Well, if you read my letters

Perhaps you know
that I am the head

Of the try faith broadcasting
advisory committee

Here in cincinnati

Oh, yeah. That try faith
broadcasting, thing, yeah.

Well, in that case
you may have heard

We've formed the
media task force

Called curb. C-u-r-b.

Curb?

It stands for clean
up radio broadcasting.

Clean up radio broadcasting?

Yes. And you're the
very first station

We're contacting in
the cincinnati area.

That... That's great.

- What's that?
- My heart, I think.

♪ Baby, if you've
ever wondered ♪

♪ Wondered whatever
became of me ♪

♪ I'm livin' on the
air in cincinnati ♪

♪ Cincinnati, wkrp ♪

♪ Got kind of tired of
packin' and unpackin' ♪

♪ Town to town, up
and down the dial ♪

♪ Maybe you and me
were never meant to be ♪

♪ Just maybe think
of me once in a while ♪

♪ I'm at wkrp in cincinnati ♪

Mr. Carlson, what we
at curb would like to do

Is to work with your station

By helping you in
anyway that we can

In bringing wholesome,
life affirming programming,

To what are in fact
the public airwaves.

Yes. Well, we... We'll take
all the help we could get.

I mean, we are a just
little biddy-station.

Oh, I wouldn't say that.

Why, two of your dj's,

Dr. Fever and
mr. Flytrap, I believe

Have a very strong following.

You see, you seem to know quite
a little bit about our station.

I sure do.

We've asked our membership,

3000 Christians in
cincinnati alone,

To monitor your broadcast.

Mo-monitor...

Ah, do you mind if I
bring up something

That we've noticed
about your station?

Oh, not at all, huh.

Well, here's a list
of the records

That are played on
your station recently.

Now all of them contain
sexually suggestive,

If not obscene lyrics.

- Really?
- Well, see for yourself.

The offensive words are
typed up on the side here.

Oh, my.

Uh... I might i...
I didn't know.

Oh, good, of course you see

I don't listen to the
station too often.

To tell the truth, you know i...

- Really - aha.

And I don't care for
rock and roll too much.

- Neither do i.
- Yes, sir.

I'd appreciate if
you call me, bob.

Okay... Bob.

And I am... I am arthur.

Well, arthur... What
do you think about this?

I think this is bad and
frankly, I'm shocked.

I-i should talk to my
employees about this.

Do you think you can get them
to stop playing these records?

You mean, to stop
them altogether.

Yes oh, well, well i...

- I suppose I should.
- Praise the lord.

- What?
- I said praise the lord.

I think I have found myself
another christian here today.

Oh, yes, yes, yes. I-i am well
we had, I mean, I try to be.

And of course sometimes I
don't do quite as well as I should,

But fortunately, lesser to
those who were weak in spirit.

And blessed are those who
are righteous in his name.

Oh, oh, yeah, yeah.
Righteous an-and weak.

You sure...

Sure came to the right guy.

Venus on radio: so, remember
when you're looking

Look for red wigglers.

♪ Red wigglers ♪

I have seen it.

Would you shut
that thing off for me?

Oh yeah, sure.

So, mr. Carlson...
What you got in mind?

Well, I'm just gonna
ask you fellows

Not to play those songs anymore.

Yeah, well, you
realize of course

That some of these songs
are the biggest hits of the year.

And some of them are
rock 'n' roll classics.

I know that. But I still
say these lyrics are dirty.

No offense, ac, but beauty
is in the eye of the beholder.

Well, this eye has beheld this

And I don't see anything
that is beautiful.

Ah, half the time you
can't even hear the lyrics.

Well, these people,
these curb monitors,

- They figured out the lyrics.
- They sure did!

Boy, I can see 'em now,

Huddled there in the corner
of the church late at night,

Just playing every
record slower and slower...

Then suddenly,
"there's a naughty word!"

This means that you're not gonna

Co-operate with me on this, huh?

No. It means I'm not gonna
cooperate with curb on this.

Venus?

Well, mr. Carlson, I think
about the lyrics sometime.

Come on, man.

Oh, man, you've seen that list.

I mean they don't even
have the choice ones,

There are lot more
worse than that.

- May I say something here?
- Sure.

All my life I have seen
these kind of people at work,

My own uncle was like this,
and I am here to tell you,

I have never seen
a group of people

Who are so sure they
were right about everything

And so sure everybody
else was wrong.

Yeah. Listen, dr. Bob
halyers isn't like that.

Yeah. Well, maybe, but that
man did not come in here

And say, "we don't
like this music.

So we are not gonna listen
to your station anymore."

What he said was, "we
don't like this music.

We don't want other people
to listen to it anymore."

Huh, there's the
difference there?

I call that censorship.

Dough, I knew somebody
was gonna use that word.

What else would you call it?

This is a portion

Of the public
expressing themselves.

What are we supposed
to do? Ignore it?

We've already
censored ourselves.

But we can't be doing a good job

Because we're
playing those records.

I thought these people
were going after tv.

Why don't they go after
tv and leave us alone?

Probably because
they want to practice

On a couple of guppies
before they go after the whale.

What are you gonna
do about the list?

I'm just gonna ask you fellas

Not to play those songs anymore.

- Just like that?
- Yeah, I guess so.

Just like that.

- Thanks, fellas.
- Mr. Carlson.

Yeah.

What happens if we
play some other song

These people decide
they don't like?

I don't know.

I do. We'll get a new list.
And after that another one.

And after that another one.
And after that another one.

Jennifer,

Some of the employees
have stopped speaking to me.

Now normally that'd be
playing right into my hands.

The past few days,

I perceived a sense of disapproval
if not outright loathing.

Would you tell
them to knock it off.

Oh, mr. Carlson I'm
sorry. It's all my fault.

I never should have let
dr. Bob halyers in here.

What was I supposed
to do? Say no?

I mean he had a stead to rights.

I find some of those
records offensive myself.

I think there is a
larger question here.

What's that?

I think maybe this has
something to do with it.

It's another letter
from curb as predicted.

- Well, what does that say.
- See.

Ah! It's a letter of
commendation yeah.

You're curb's broadcasting
executive of the month.

Really!

Oh, and here is
another list of records

Curb's top 40 hit list.

I suppose that's
the play on words.

Yeah, well, what about
all the sex on tv, huh?

What sex? I mean
every night I go home

And just sit
there waiting on it.

All I ever see are car crashes.

I was visiting my sister
over the holidays.

She's got two
little girls, 5 and 9.

I saw them sitting in
front of the television set

At 8 o'clock watching
adults argue about abortion.

Now is that right?

Well, they talk about
the same subject

On the 6 o'clock news.

Besides, I think kids
are a lot smarter

Than we give them credit for.

No, they are not.

When I was a kid, I
didn't know anything.

I know you're all
probably wondering

What I think about
this curb business.

It's been drivin' us crazy, les.

Yes, well... In a
situation like this,

I always ask myself,

What would my hero
edward r. Murrow think?

And I think that ed
would think that

This was censorship.

Then I think about
what my other hero,

General george
patton, would think?

And I think that
george would think that

Radio and television
ought to be cleaned up.

Bet if he were alive today,

He'd take two armored
cavalry divisions into hollywood

And knock all those liberal
pinheads into the pacific!

So as you can see, I'm
a very confused man.

And when I get
confused, I watch tv.

Television is never confusing.

It's all so simple somehow.

Andy. Guess, you
guys were right.

Here's another curb list.

Well.

There must be some mistake here.

There're songs on this list

That we haven't even played yet.

Yeah, I know. It's kind
of a list in general.

No, it's kind of censorship
before the fact.

Yeah, I guess you can say that.

Well, this is where we
get off dr. Bob's train.

Come on, we've got to.

We cannot let him
program this station.

Or can we?

- No.
- Good.

Why don't you let
me go talk with him?

No. No, I'll go talk with him.

Still the station manager.

Knock those liberal pinheads
in the river, mr. Carlson.

Wrong hero, les.

Oh!

Hello, arthur. How are you?

I am fine, bob.

- Have a seat.
- Thank you.

I well got your good list.

As long as they keep
making records like that

We have to keep
comin' up with new lists.

I... I have something,
I'd like to say.

You know as a
private businessman,

I feel a little foolish

Taking orders from
a religious group.

To me it seems, well,

Un-american somehow.

I understand that, arthur.

- You do?
- Well, sure I do.

But I think this is really
democracy in action.

Now the people I represent,

Deserve the right to
speak out, don't they?

Yeah, sure.

But I don't think
that, you know,

One small group of people
should have so much power

That they can dictate
what's on radio or television.

But a small group of people

Already dictates what
gets on the airwaves.

Well, you and your program
director decide what records to play,

That's just two men.

And on the television
networks, arthur,

A group of people I
can count on my fingers

Decide what type of
shows get on the air.

And that's for
the whole country.

Is that right?

I agree with you.

I don't think that a small group

Should decide for everybody.

And that's what we
are fighting here.

I see what you're saying, but...

But that's a confusing question.

It's really simple, arthur.

Now if somebody has the
right to make a picture,

Let's say about some
unspeakable bloody horror,

Which they do make,
and just to make money

And I should have
the right to say

I don't like that kind of movie.

And if they have the right

To put that movie
in my local theatre,

I should have the right to try

And get it out of
my local theatre.

How you gonna do that?

Well, very reluctantly

We would use the one tool
that seems to get any action.

Economic boycott.

Oh! Well, what
would you do to us,

If we played some of
the songs on that list?

Well, we'd have no choice
but to go to your advertisers.

But arthur... Why play
any of those records?

They're all obscene.

I have one of my disc
jockeys, dr. Johnny fever,

Gave me the lyrics to a song.

He wants to know
if you'd let him play

That song on the air.

"Imagine there's no heaven,

It's easy if you try.

No hell below us,
above us only sky.

Nothing to k*ll or die for,

And no religion, too.

Imagine no possessions?

Imagine all the people
sharing all the world"?

That sounds like
communism to me.

If there's no
heaven, no religion.

And, I assume, no god.

There's not an
obscene word in here.

Not the way I see it.

Does it go on your list?

Arthur, this is typical
of the kind of secular,

Liberal humanist point of view

That gluts our airwaves.

Yeah, but we're not talking
obscenities here anymore, bob,

We're talking about
ideas - political,

Philosophical ideas!

First you censor a word,

And then you censor the ideas.

But the idea is man-centered,
not god-centered.

Man is an animal.

The bible tells us to
put our reliance in god,

Not in our fellow mortals.

Arthur, this song
says there's no heaven.

No, it says just imagine
there's no heaven.

That's blasphemy.

On the list or not?

I have no choice
but to say "on."

That decision was
made by one man.

But, arthur, if
you can only see.

Ah, bob,

I'm sorry but, so long.

All right.

And what do we replace it with?

Well, where the commercial was,

Drop in the american
heart association's spot.

But then we'd be coming out
of lung association's spot

And going directly into a
heart association's spot.

Well, maybe we could
separate them with a forest fire.

Okay.

Big guy... Crispy tree pizzeria

- Just cancelled everything.
- Oh, no.

Didn't you go down and
talked to him personally?

For an hour and on my knees.

And I got to say it's
not the cleanest place

In the world down there either.

Now I am really scared, big guy.

I mean we are losing everything.

But what reasons did they give.

They said there was no reason.

But you know better than that.

Mr. Carlson, harvey
green is here to see you.

Harvey? Send him in.

Wait you're not gonna see him.

Don't don't be... Because
he'll just cancel his business.

Bailey, will you
excuse me, please?

Oh. Sure.

Oh, hello, mr. Green.

Hello, ms. Bailey.

How's the worm business?

The same. Always the same.

Well, good.

Well, how you doin', harvey?

How's everything down
there at red wiggler?

Can't talk now. Let's
just say everything's fine,

Leave it at that. So long.

How are you harvey?

Arthur. A minister
came to see me.

Dr. Bob halyers, huh?

Yeah, yeah.

How did you get in trouble
with a fellow like that?

Ah, that's a long story.

He says you're not
doing right, arthur.

He says you play songs
that are bad for the kids.

I know. I know.

Of course that's
what they used to say

About the music
when we were kids.

Remember the jitterbug?

Remember the
jitterbug was-was gonna

Turn us all into drug fiends?

- Ah?
- Yeah, I remember.

Yeah.

But arthur,

This fella came with a
couple of other ministers.

They said they represented
thousands of people,

And every one of those
people would tell other people,

Not to buy my red wigglers.

And so on. And so forth.

You see, arthur, I'm
trying to sell the business.

My sons don't wanna come in.

They don't think worms
are interesting enough.

They wanna pursue
careers in modern dance.

Both of them.
How's that for luck?

Harvey, how about
a cup of coffee?

No, no thanks, arthur.

Arthur, I'm sorry, but...

I don't think I can stand the

Boycott of my product right now.

I understand.

I mean with the way the
economy is and everything,

I can't even get a loan.

And a lot of
religious people fish.

Oh, yeah, I know.

And there's no sense in all
of us going down the drain.

You... You lost a lot of...
Lot of business, arthur?

No, I'm doing all right.

You know, uh... You
know what I think?

What?

I think you made a
wise business decision.

You know, people who
listen to rock and roll,

They don't, they don't
buy a lot of worms.

Yeah. You know, arthur,

Maybe it's god's way of
trying to tell us something.

You told me, you told me once

You didn't like the
radio business too much.

And I'm certainly getting
tired of the worm business,

So why don't we let doctor
what's his name, dr. Bob,

Go ahead and put
us out of business.

Then the two of us can move
to florida and starve to death.

Thanks a lot, harvey.

You don't mind if I
think about it, do you?

Give it some thought.

Everybody is doing it.

Yeah, I know.

Arthur, I'm sorry.

I feel like a coward,

And I am ashamed.

Well, don't be.

Oh!

- Hello, mr. Travis.
- So how are you doing, harvey?

Goodbye, mr. Travis.

Arthur...

Forgive me.

Red wigglers, too.

Yeah, red wigglers, too.

All right.

Here's what we gonna do.

We're gonna get
every radio station

In cincinnati together,
we're gonna fight this guy.

Now we either hang together

Or we're gonna hang separately.

We're gonna go to the press,

We're gonna go to our listeners,

The people who
really support us,

Not a bunch of religious nuts.

Andy, they are not nuts.

What did we do?

Did we build up this business,

So it can get cut
down just like that.

Is that what all that
hard work was for?

What are you doing?

- Playing computer baseball.
- Why?

Because, andy,

Recently this is one of
the few joys I've had in life.

- Mr. Carlson, - what?

Would you want to
see dr. Bob halyers?

He's got his nerve coming
here. You tell him, go to hell.

Andy, now that
man is a man of god

And I'm not gonna have
you talking like this.

Send him in, jennifer.

You like this, guy.

Thank you.

- Hello, arthur.
- Bob.

- Andy, this is dr. Halyers.
- Hi.

Andy's my program director.

Yeah, that's right. I am
the program director.

My job is to program the music

I think our listeners
would like to hear.

If I am wrong, our ratings
go down and I get fired.

It's called the free
enterprise system

And it works pretty well.

Well, some people don't like
the records you program.

They fight back.

It's called a democracy
and it works pretty well.

It's called censorship,

And you could call
it a rose if you like,

But it still stinks.

Andy, please.

Arthur... I'm truly sorry

That we ended up on
opposite sides of this.

Well, thank you, bob.

But you know, aside from
stirring a whole lot of people up

And making an old
man feel like a coward,

I'll be darned if
I can figure out

Anything else has been
accomplished by all this.

Well, a lot could be
accomplished, arthur,

If you'd come on
over to god's side.

I am not sure that

Giving up my freedom
of decision is god's side.

Well, that's a
matter of opinion.

Yeah. And i... I don't wanna
argue the point any further.

But I would like to express

One other thought
that occurs to me.

Surely.

Bob, watch out for
those broadcasters

That cave into your pressure,

Because principles not gonna
mean a darn thing to them.

All they're gonna be doing is
saving their swimming pools.

Oh, they'll be the first ones
to come and sit at your table.

But I think the good ones,

Are gonna be the
ones that are willing

To take a loss
and put up a fight.

Well, then I'll...

I'll have to learn to
love my enemies, arthur,

- Like the good book says.
- I hope so.

Because I don't think
you're gonna be able

To trust your friends.

Goodbye, arthur.

I suppose in the meantime,

You're gonna lose
money for a principle.

Hey, travis, when it comes
to losing advertising clients,

These bozos don't know
who they're up against.

I am gonna fight,
them tooth and nail.

I know you are.

If all else fails,

I might even set les
nessman on them.

Boy, that could signal

The end of organized
religion as we know it.