01x02 - Lay Lay Lies Lies

[bunniefuu]

Whoa, this place looks
as good as it smells.

And it smells like heaven
with angels working the grill.

That's not an angel on the grill.

That's Woody. He owns the place.

This is BoomBox Burger,

where all the kids from school hang out.

It's ' s hip-hop themed.

Oh.

I popped out of a cell phone
in the wrong decade.

Hey, y'all. It's your girl Lay Lay.

And I'm all about this place.

Lay Lay, you're at a ten.
Let's bring it down to a three.

Remember, nobody knows you're an avatar
who came out of my phone.

You can't be acting strange.

[scoffs] I've been acting normal.

Not at home.

This morning, my mom watched you
open and close the refrigerator

while you kept saying,
"Light on. Light off, y'all."

Well, is the light on,
or is the light off?

We'll never know.

You've got to stop acting brand-new.

My mom is smart.

Eventually, she's going to catch on,
and that'll be the end of us.

Just act like a regular kid.

Do you like my walrus teeth?

[laughs] That's better.

But tonight, my mom's cooking,

and she takes family dinners
really seriously.

I'll take it seriously, too.

Whaddup, yo.

I'm Daniel, and welcome to BoomBox Burger,

where extra cheddar
doesn't cost extra chedda.

And I'm acting weird?
This dude is talking gibberish.

That's ' s slang.

Everyone who works here talks like that.

We should bring your parents
down here to translate.

They're old.

According to my mom, she's still .

Yeah, like I said, old.

So, what can I get you?

How's the Wu-Tang Clam Chowder?

Chuck D-Licious.

Whoa.

This may be a s diner,

but these are definitely today's prices.

What's so funny?

You.

You always say what you think
and keep it real.

I'm just trying to be
a regular kid, like you said.

So I'll keep keeping it real.
I'll also take an MC Hummus.

Hey, Woody.

We got an order
for the special of the day.

One MC Hummus coming up. Kick it.

[car horn honking]

That's a cool effect.

Now I know why the price is so high.

[upbeat music]

It's : .

We're late for a meeting with a client.

No, you're not. It's only noon.

I set the clocks to Hong Kong time

so I didn't miss the opening
of the Hang Seng stock index.

You understand.

Not at all.

I told you this had
something to do with him.

We're being considered to write a jingle
for Marv's Mugs.

They sent us a mug for inspiration.

It's so cute. And meaty.

So we're about to have , burger mugs

laying around here
after you get the gig, huh?

It's true.

Whenever we get an account,
they give us boxes of free products.

Which we never use.

But you know who could use these?

BoomBox Burger.

You think we should give them the mugs?

Give?

How are the people in charge
of saving for my college education

so afraid to make money?

We should sell the mugs
to those patty flippers down at BoomBox.

Something tells me I should
supervise this transaction.

It's cute you think you have a choice.

What's cooking, Mom?

I don't know about all of you,
but I put in a hard day's work.

A hard day's work

because you pressed
your khakis for minutes?

Look at you insulting
my brother and fitting in.

Just keeping it real and be a regular kid.

Regular kid? What does that mean?

Oh, nothing.

It's just a little inside joke
we have at school.

You wouldn't understand because you're not
a regular kid, you know.

Well, regular kids, I hope you're hungry

because tonight,
we're having Trish's Dishes.

-Oh, awesome, Mom.
-Surprise.

Can't wait. Oh!

What's Trish's Dishes?

Once a week, my mom tries a new recipe.

And it's great.

And today, it's blueberry
and onion mashed potatoes.

Whoa.

Those look like a puppet exploded.

The recipe said to use rosemary

instead of blueberries and onions,

but like Chef Raw says,

"A good cook never lets
recipes box them in."

Honey, you really put your foot in this.

It's true.

This tastes like a foot soaked in garlic.

No, Lay Lay, that's just an expression.

And this is my expression
eating these potatoes:

Ugh.

Come on, everybody.
Where are my props for keeping it real?

I mean, what are these, po-ta-toes?

My eyes must be deceiving me,

because I know there is not
a foot on my table.

Oh, forgive her, for she know
not what she do.

I'm sorry. I was just--

You can just clear the table

and wash the dishes by yourself tonight.

Sorry, Lay Lay.

Oh, you sorry, huh?

Since you so sorry, you can
help her clean the kitchen too.

Now I'm really sorry.

Now everyone, eat up.

I said eat.

♪ I'm Sadie's affirmation app ♪

♪ And so no matter
what happens, I got her back ♪

♪ 'Cause, see, my homey Sadie
wished on a star ♪

♪ She said, "I wish you were real" ♪

♪ Now I'm as real as you are ♪

-♪ And now who's coming out the app? ♪
-♪ That girl Lay Lay ♪

-♪ Whose avatar power is to freeze? ♪
-♪ That girl Lay Lay ♪

♪ All day, all day, it's your girl ♪

♪ That girl, that girl, that girl
that girl Lay Lay ♪

Cleaning that kitchen took forever.

Why couldn't we use the dishwasher?

When we're in trouble,
we are the dishwasher.

You shouldn't have put
your foot on the table.

It's that kind of stuff that's gonna tip
my mom off to our secret.

My bad, Sadie.

I knew you were in trouble
when my mom's left eyebrow

went all the way up.

You don't mess with the left eyebrow.

You told me to keep it real.

And real talk, those potatoes
looked like Cookie Monster

got hit with a steamroller.

I know. They were awful.

But my mom worked hard on them.

So we pretend to like them.

It's important to protect
people's feelings.

Real people don't always keep it real?

It's called a white lie,

and to fit in, you're going
to have to tell a few.

I can do that.

By the way,

I love that new mango deodorant
you've been using.

Thank you.

Wait, was that a white lie?

Maybe.

New rule. Don't tell white lies to me.

Fine.

I haven't smelled a lot of smells yet,

but mango armpit?

Come on.

Okay, son, I'm all for you
being a businessman,

but your mother sent me here to make sure
that your pursuit of money

doesn't cost us money.

No problem, Dad.
You stick to the script and watch me work.

Excuse me, sir.

I'm Marky Alexander, and I'm
looking for Woody, the manager.

I have a business proposition for him.

Marky, I've met you times.

You like your cheeseburger
with just mustard and extra pickles.

You've met Burger-Marky,

but you're talking to Business-Marky.

And this is my associate.

You mean your father, Bryce.
Double bacon, double cheese?

Unless he's with Trish,

then it's a turkey burger
with extra health.

So, whatcha got for me, Marky?

An opportunity to up your mug game.

With this mug, your customer
just orders coffee.

I'll have a coffee.

But with this mug, your customer says--

Ooh, give me a burger. Nah, give me .

You might be on to something.

Looking at this thing
makes me want a burger.

We wanted to see if you're interested
in purchasing some of these mugs.

We don't have them yet,

but we can come back
to work out the details--

Or, we can close this deal
with Woody right now.

Because Woody seems like a smart guy,

I bet he'd be willing
to put down a % cash deposit.

You're right, Marky, I am a smart guy.

And I know a good deal when I see one.

Thank you.

Give us a moment, please.

It's too soon to make a deal.
We don't have the mugs yet.

Dad, the first rule of business is,
never focus on what you don't have

and focus on what you do have:

a big stack of money.

I know I'm going to regret this.

But that is a big stack of money.

We'll be back with your mugs, Woody.

[accordion playing]

Hey, girls, can we get your opinion?

Marv's Mugs asked for something
a little different for their jingle.

It's not really our thing,
but we gave it a try.

Well, if it involves that piano-fan
around your neck, I'm in.

[plays upbeat polka]

♪ ♪

-[yodeling]
-♪ Marv's Mugs ♪

-[yodeling]
-♪ Marv's Mugs ♪

♪ ♪

-What do you think, girls?
-I don't know.

This sounds like
a great opportunity for Lay Lay

to honestly say what she thinks.

Oh.

That was amazing.

Don't believe what you hear
in the streets.

Yodeling is never dead.

-Nice job.
-Perfect.

I'll set this up so we can record it.

Ms. A.

I'm sorry for insulting
your cooking last night.

I was just trying to be funny,
and I got carried away.

I appreciate that.

So you don't think
Trish's Dishes are awful?

What? No.

I don't say things are fire
unless I really mean it,

and your potatoes were fire.

Matter of fact, I think
you should make Trish's Dishes

more than once a week.

Or what about every night of the week?

Well, since you like my cooking so much,
every night it is.

What should I make first? Ooh!

Why'd you make me use my avatar power?

I needed you to freeze time
because now my mom's

gonna make Trish's Dishes
every night of the week.

What did we do to you? Do you not like us?

You gave me the "keep going,
you're doing great"' gesture.

This is my "cut it out" gesture.

Your gestures need work.

Oh, this is terrible.

You don't even know how bad
Trish's Dishes can be.

Have you ever had anchovy cornbread?

Candied liver with marshmallow sauce?

Salmon smoothies?

'Cause I've had all of those,
and I cannot go back there.

Well, should I just tell your mom
her cooking is terrible?

No. We're in too deep now.

We've gotta eat whatever she makes.

We'll clean our plates. Together.

I'll make fish gravy pie.

Now why'd you freeze time?

Fish Gravy Pie?

I need a minute for a genuine reaction.

[both shuddering]

-Sounds great.
-Yum.

Yeah.

Busted.

Was that a pre-dinner salami?

It's a Trish's Dishes night.

I cannot go into that on an empty stomach.

I get it.

I've been stuffing myself
with string cheese all day.

Speaking of cheese, we didn't land
that Marv's Mugs account.

What?

BoomBox is expecting a shipment
of those burger mugs by tomorrow.

I should have never
brought you on as an associate.

Relax. We'll just refund Woody his money.

We can't do that, Dad.

Rule number two of business
is customer satisfaction.

-You spent the money, didn't you?
-Yes, I did.

Oh me, oh my, it's fish gravy pie.

The name alone sounds like gravy heaven.

I can't wait.

It's so good, honey.

For texture, I added extra fish heads.

Oh, there's no such thing
as extra fish heads…

Only not enough.

You know, it's the scales for me.

Mmm.

The bones make you really
slow down and savor the taste.

I forgot the drinks. I'll be right back.

Okay.

I'm sorry.
This is an insult to pies everywhere.

Good thing it's pocket-sized.

Good thing you have another pocket.

Smart move, Sadie.

What? That's not fair.

-Sadie, you owe me.
-For what?

years of everything.

Yum. That was amazing, Mom.

Looks like you boys really enjoyed it.

You better have some more.

-Dang it.
-What?

I said slang it, honey.

Good, because it is time

for course number two,
tarragon cabbage balls.

They're just finishing up on the grill.

We got got again?

The cabbage balls are a little crisp,

but that brings out the flavor.

That's it.

Ms. A, can I be honest about your cooking?

I just…

love it so much.

It makes me miss
my home-cooked meals from Houston.

Aww. I'd be happy to whip up
your favorite Houston treat.

No!

I mean, you've done so much for me.

Allow me to cook for you.

Yes. That's a great idea.
Let Lay Lay cook.

Oh, I didn't know you could cook, sweetie.
What are you gonna make?

Oh, I'll be making a classic

called Houston Surprise.

-Houston Surprise.
-Yeah.

Sounds delicious.

Oh, yeah, Mom.

You're gonna love Houston Surprise.
[laughs]

What's Houston Surprise?

I don't know. I've never been to Houston.

We have one whisk, a turkey baster,
and three spatulas.

Your spatulas are flyswatters.

You've never cooked before, have you?

Hey, a week ago,
I had never brushed my teeth.

I catch on quick.

Well, as long as you have
a recipe for Houston Surprise,

I can make this work.

Great. What's a recipe?

Okay, we don't have a recipe.

So we'll have to improvise
because this has to go well.

Why? What's the big deal anyway?

If my mom realizes you don't know

how to make your favorite meal,
the Houston surprise will be

that she finds out you're from my phone.

Well, how can we make it
if I don't know what it is?

Why don't we make it a gumbo?

Every time my dad and I make gumbo,

he puts anything in there,
and it turns out delicious.

Great idea. It's gumbo time.

What? You said anything.

♪ ♪

Gotta tell you, Marky.
It's like I'm at a campfire.

This is pretty relaxing.

There is no time to relax.

We need more mugs, and we need them fast.

Hey, honey. About to get a workout in?

Yup. Since I don't have to cook,

I've got time for my virtual spin class.

I am not even going to ask
what's going on here.

Thanks, babe. Saves me a lie.

Just one more stir and…

dang, we've melted all the spatulas.

Flyswatters.

Whatever. They're all melting.

Well, I don't know what this is now,
but it's not gumbo.

It doesn't matter.
We're making Houston Surprise.

The only thing in that recipe is fun.

One octopus or two?

Two.

That's arms of fun.

Now it's time for the yeast.

Come on, yeast.

Come on, yeast--oops.

Uh, it's okay.

We can just counterbalance the yeast
by adding more…

oh, tomato sauce, huh?

You're the gumbo master.

All right. Ooh.

Wow, cooking really is fun.

Now squirt in some mayonnaise.
Go on, gloop it in there.

-Yeah.
-Yeah.

Do you feel it, Dad?

The electricity?

It's time to get paid.

Son, I think Woody's gonna notice

these aren't the burger mugs
we promised him.

Why would you say that?

Okay, there's a slight chance
he might notice.

Oh, the burger mugs. Perfect timing.

I just got rid of my old ones.

Good, because these burger mugs
are like something you've never seen.

-[ceramic shattering]
-[gasps]

The mugs!

[both] Oh, no!

My bad. I'll get the broom.

Oh man, I just threw out my old mugs.

And if I pay for these,
I can't afford to buy new ones.

Burger-Marky feels for you,

but Business-Marky really needs his money.

Hang on. Hang on, son.

Woody needs new mugs.
Let's figure this out.

New mugs?

My uncle Marv has a mug company.

I can get you some
awesome burger mugs for free.

-He can get me some for free?
-Yeah.

[sighs]

I'm sorry it didn't work out, guys.
Maybe next time.

I appreciate you supporting
my son's business,

so allow me to support yours.

We'll take two BoomBox Burgers to go.

Coming right up.

Thanks, Dad.

Are the burgers my reward
for me trying my best

even though the deal didn't work out?

No, son.

I just have no faith in what the girls
are making for dinner.

Dinner is supposed to be in ten minutes.

How's it looking?

[gumbo splattering]

Either it's almost done,

or we've created a monster.

It's a demon!

I think the yeast is reacting
with the tomato sauce.

We've gotta smush this gumbo bubble.

Nope. The bubble wants out.

What about throwing salt on it?
Maybe it'll shrink like a snail.

[gasps] You do that to snails?

That's awful.

It was one time. I was six.

[Sadie] Oh, we're done.

Oh, we're only making it angrier!

I got this.

Get in that pot, you dumb bubble!

-We did it.
-Yeah.

-Hey, girls.
-[both] Hey!

Almost ready?

I b*rned calories

and one YogaBlond in spin class today.

I'm starving.

Oh.

Either we're gonna eat this,
or this is gonna eat us.

Well, it certainly smells great.

[gumbo rumbling]

What's that noise?

My bad, Mr. A.

I was messing around with a new b*at.

Bryce, will you do the honors?

I can't wait to find out
what's in a Houston Surprise.

[both] Wait!

Can I say something?

Well, even if this isn't

the best dinner you've ever had,

I'm still thankful for you all.

We love having you here, Lay Lay.

That's right. You're like family.

And this family likes to eat, so…

Let's dig in.

[all shrieking]

Surprise!

Well, this is the most exciting dinner

we've had in a while.

I don't really know how to cook.

Yes, that's clear.

I'm sorry.

I just wanted everyone to think
that I belong here.

You do belong here.

I'm not sure your cooking does--

Actually, it didn't taste too bad
when it was sh**ting up my nose.

Should we give it a try?

[gumbo rumbles]

It's alive. Everybody run!