02x01 - Ain't That a Glitch

[bunniefuu]

[upbeat music]

Now, this is how you make a bed...

the right way.

And this... [grunts]

Is how you make a bed...

the Lay Lay way.

[laughs]

-What's wrong with you?
-What's wrong with you?

Anyway, have you seen Marky yet?

Not since he found out you're an avatar
that came out of my phone.

Girl, I've never seen someone
scream so loud and run so fast.

And I've seen your father
around a cricket.

And that's after we explained
everything to Marky.

Yeah. Now that he knows my secret,
we got to make sure he's cool.

Otherwise, he's gonna tell your parents.

And they'll know we've been lying to them.

There's nothing my parents hate
more than liars.

Maybe raisins and coleslaw,
but liars are up there.

Hopefully he's not freaking out.

I'm still freaking out!

I can't believe I've been
around Lay Lay this long

and never noticed
anything strange about her.

Or did I notice and you made me forget?

Do you have mind-wipe powers?
Stop wiping my mind.

She didn't. You just didn't notice
anything strange about her.

Because there's nothing strange to notice.

Besides, you're a -year-old
who wears a sweater vest.

I wouldn't talk, little one.

Marky, this is a good thing.

When Lay Lay was in my phone, she was
an avatar for my positive affirmation app.

Yes. I'm really good at helping people
become the best versions of themselves.

Look at me.
Because of Lay Lay, I'm more outgoing,

and I'm the president of my class now.

She even gave me the confidence
to become an era-era DJ.

Some people say I got it going in.

On? Out?

Whatever. People are talking.

I'm talking about how, just hours ago,
I saw you turn invisible.

Okay. Did it scare you?

Please. I'm done freaking out.

Okay.

[inhales deeply]

-Boo!
-Aah!

I was wrong!

I'm still freaking out!

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

[both cheering]

This is either their happy dance,
or they stepped in some fire ants.

Girls, we just got some of
the best news of our careers.

Oh, let me guess, Bun B sampled
one of your songs, and now you're rich,

so we can spend the rest of our lives
on private jets and yachts.

No, but thank you for making
our good news less exciting.

We were named Advertising
Songwriters of the Year

by the Cleveland Hall of Fame
Music Awards.

both: Whoa!

You won a CHoFMA?

That's how John Legend became John Legend.

Before he won a CHoFMA, he was just John.

There's a fancy ceremony coming up, and
anybody who's anybody in the biz attends.

Winning an award like this
triples your business.

So maybe there will be a yacht.

Girl, ain't gonna be no yachts.

Look, can't you just be happy for us?

Bryce, tell them who we're
asking to introduce us.

-Our friend, hip-hop superstar...
-Iggy Azalea.

[both scream]

Really? You stole my thunder?

Mr. A, you know Iggy Azalea?

Oh, you're not as lame
as Sadie says you are.

I never said lame.

I said...

I love you, Daddy.

-Iggy is the perfect person to do it.
-Yeah, we co-wrote a jingle with her

before she blew up.
We're practically peers.

Yeah, just like Mrs. A's workout buddy
is Michelle Obama.

[laughing] Right.

Michelle wishes she had
this arm definition.

Every year, the CHoFMA recipient gets to
pick someone to perform at the ceremony.

Oh, here's a crazy idea
that isn't so crazy.

What if Lay Lay and I perform?

Oh, girls, I'm sorry.

I think what the music awards
are looking for is more of a big-name act.

What's bigger than someone with two names?

Come on, Mom and Dad, we want to perform
in front of Iggy Azalea.

And this is your big night.
We want to be a part of it.

Please, Mrs. A.

I won't beg you,
but I will make Sadie do it.

Okay, but you girls got
to bring your A game.

Yes!

We get to perform in front of Iggy Azalea!

Sounds like it's gonna be
a big night for all of us.

Oh, what was that dance you all were
doing when we walked out here?

♪ I'm Sadie's affirmation app ♪

♪ And so no matter what happens,
I got her back ♪

♪ 'Cause see my homey Sadie
wished on a star ♪

♪ She said, "I wish you were real,"
now I'm as real as you are ♪

-♪ And now who's coming out the app? ♪
-♪ That girl Lay Lay ♪

-♪ Who's avatar power is to freeze? ♪
-♪ That girl Lay Lay ♪

♪ All day, all day, it's your girl ♪

♪ That girl, that girl, that girl,
that girl Lay Lay ♪

[upbeat music]

Okay.
I think I got all the freaking out out.

Do you want to hear about
Lay Lay's other powers?

There's more?

Can you fly?
sh**t lasers out of your eyes?

Turn broccoli into brownies?

No.

Lay Lay's powers are related to the phone.

When she holds her breath and disappears,
it's like a phone going into rest mode.

And have you ever hit pause on a video?

Whoa. How is that possible?

Anything's possible
when you're this fabulous.

Okay. So I can't catch,
but I can freeze time.

And if there's anyone I don't want to
freeze, I just have to think about them.

Wait, have you ever frozen me
before and I didn't know it?

[as Marky] Wait. Have you ever
frozen me before and I didn't know it?

[normally] Of course not, Marky.

I didn't think so.
I'm way too smart for that.

What did Mom and Dad say when
they learned about Lay Lay?

Oh!

Uh, I'll never forget what they said.

Right? What'd they say, Lay Lay?

Uh, they said, "Wow,"

and...and, "Whoa," and then your mom...

she was like, "Whee!"

Hey, kids.

Hey, Dad. How come you never told me
Lay Lay is...

Marky, Mr. A doesn't want to
talk about me being an avatar.

Yeah. He's so over Lay Lay and her powers.

[both talking at once]

Wait a minute.

You never told them.

I certainly don't not did.

You're doing that weird
double-negative thing when you lie.

I certainly am not not doing that.

Dang, Sadie, this is why
I never play spades with you.

You are the only other person besides us
who knows the secret.

Well, there's also a goat
who knows everything,

but she ain't no snitch.

Wait. If I'm the only one that knows,

that means you two
need me to keep this secret.

And you know that means?

That we have a bond more
sacred than a pinky promise?

No. It means you two work for me now,

or I tell Mom and Dad everything.

You wouldn't dare.

Who am I talking to?
Of course he would dare.

Lay Lay, we have to do what he says.

Ugh!

How come I never told you
Lay Lay was what, Marky?

That Lay Lay is such a good mime.
Sadie too.

Show him trapped-in-the-box, girls.

Okay. Why don't you guys stay
locked in that box and I'll just leave?

-Ooh, that was close.
-Yeah. Good cover, Marky.

It's nice to have you on Team Lay Lay.

Oh, no.

From now on, this is Team Marky,

and I need a fan and foot rub, stat.

Say what now?

Why would we ever do that?

Mom? Dad?

Oh, yeah.

This is gonna work out just fine.

[upbeat music]

Marky's been wearing me out, Sadie.

He had me freeze time twice

just so he could get a snack
during his favorite TV show.

Just press pause, Marky.

I know. I made the snacks.
But I snuck down here to work on our song.

Good, because we really need
to rehearse for the CHoFMAs.

It's your parents' big night,
and Iggy Azalea is gonna be there.

We got to bring it.

Oh, it's been brung.

-[music playing]
-Ready for this?

♪ ♪

Come on.

♪ ♪

Come on. You like that? You like that?
All right, come on, come on.

Break with me, girl.
And break it with me, girl.

Break it with me. Break it with me.
Shimmy, shimmy, shimmy.

-[music ends]
-Oh, no shimmy.

No shimmy?

I can't. [hiccups]

Oh, I've never heard you hiccup before.

You okay, Lay Lay, or was
my dancing just that bad?

Marky has been nonstop with his demands.
[hiccups]

He had me use my powers
a million times today,

and your dancing is that bad.

If it isn't my favorite girls.

[both groan]

I've got a new entrepreneurial endeavor

that you two are going to love
helping me with,

because I said so.

Marky, we've got to practice
for our performance,

and Lay Lay is tired
from all your demands.

Stop power-tripping on her powers.

I hear you, but I've got
financial independence to achieve.

That's why I invested in a new instant
hair-removal cream called InstaShave.

What do you know about hair removal?

The closest thing you have to a mustache
is ketchup on your lip.

I don't need it,
but the A-listers at the CHoFMAs will.

And if the right celebrity gets ahold
of InstaShave, my business will boom.

Uh-uh. I see where this is going.

You want us to use
InstaShave on our heads!

What?

[hiccups] I'm not doing that.

These buns are... [hiccups] Iconic.

Calm down.

All the celebrities get
gift bags full of swag.

You think I don't know what swag is?

Look at me.

All I need you to do is sneak some samples
of InstaShave into the CHoFMA swag bag

so that every celebrity leaves with it.

What if we say... [hiccups] No?

I'll say... [hiccups] Mom, Dad!

Fine. Whatever you want, Marky.

Or I can take this lovely pillow
and smack the snitch out of him.

No, Lay Lay. Put the pillow down.

Hey, hey, hey! No, no.

-Hey, stop!
-You want to do this?

-Let me do this!
-No. No more.

-Let me go.
-Hey, bad Lay Lay.

Bad Lay Lay. Bad, bad, bad.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

Honey, how are we supposed to know
what Iggy Azalea's assistant looks like?

They all look the same:
computer-y, glasses,

pale, and weak from too much screen time.

Hi. I'm Jasmine,

the pale and weak assistant
you're here to meet.

You're Iggy Azalea's assistant?

-Yeah.
-But you're so young.

Am I, or are you just really old?

-Listen, little girl...
-Uh, thank you.

Thank you for taking the time
to meet with us.

So Iggy would love to give
your presentation speech.

Yes!

I celebrated too soon, didn't I?

Little bit.

As her new assistant, I need to make sure

that she's associating
with the right people.

Ms. Alexander, it's to my understanding
that you're a bit of a...diva.

Excuse me?

Oh, no, you said the D word.

Iggy said you got into an argument with
her the last time you worked together.

Oh, no, she's still hung up on that?

I wouldn't call it an argument.

It's just she was wrong, and I was right.

And apparently you told her that, a lot.

It was a jingle for Hooper's Hot Tubs,
but it was so long ago,

-who can even remember...
-Okay.

She wanted
♪ Ooh, my, my, buy a hot tub ♪

But I knew it should be
♪ My, my, ooh, buy a hot tub ♪

You heard it. I was right.

-Should I be talking to you?
-I think that would be best.

The only way Iggy is willing
to introduce you two

is if I get a video of her apologizing.

Okay. I understand.

Come on, baby. Say you're sorry.

Oh, that's not it.

Iggy wants Trish to do
an "I'm sorry" dance

so she can share it
with her millions of followers.

Oh, and you're gonna love the song.

It goes ♪ Ooh, my, my, I'm sorry ♪

Oh, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry that you wasted your breath
singing that nonsense.

Honey, honey, having Iggy Azalea
introduce us would be a huge deal.

Just... just apologize.

-Who cares now?
-[sighs] No.

Please, baby, baby, please.

No, baby, baby, no.

You have hours to change your mind.

I'll be here same time tomorrow.

Oh, right.
I ordered lunch, but now I'm not hungry.

Iggy would want you to pay for it.

Okay, bye.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

What even is InstaShave?

[gags]

Sweet James Brown, Marky is going to need

more than a celebrity endorsement
to sell this goop.

[gags]
Oh, yeah. That stuff definitely works

because it just b*rned out
all my nose hairs.

Okay. These are custom labels
with my adorable smile on them.

No one could say no to this face.

You want us to put those labels on
every single one of these containers?

Oh, not just these. There's more boxes.

So you girls had better get a move on.

Toodles.

[sighs] Let's get to work.

[both sigh]

[both sigh]

[both sigh]

As long as we're under Marky's thumb,

we're never gonna get a chance

to rehearse for the CHoFMAs,

and we can't let my parents down.

You're right.
We're gonna be here all night.

both: Bars.

Wait, I know.

We can multitask.

Let's rehearse our performance
while we finish Marky's work.

Come on, girl.

♪ Rip and dip that hip ♪

Okay.

♪ Go, Lay Lay, go, Lay Lay ♪

♪ Go, Sadie, do the Say Say ♪

♪ Hey ♪

-♪ Whoa ♪
-Clap.

-Do a hip.
-Oh! Get into it!

Is this fun and frolicking I see?

No, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no!

I want less "Happy Feet"
and more "Hard Knock Life."

You know what? Forget this.

I'm going upstairs to get me
a drink and kick my feet up.

-Do I need to tell my parents your secret?
-I wish you would.

-[buzzing]
-Oh, I feel weird.

Something's happening.

[zooming]

Wow. She's moving with super speed.

Well, that's a new one.

♪ ♪

[upbeat music]

Whoa. What was that? Did I just...

Zip around the room like Usain Bolt
strapped to a rocket ship?

Yeah. Yeah, you did.

You just found a new avatar power.

It's like speeding up
a video on your phone.

Which is perfect, because we have
so many more containers to label.

Wait, did I say we? Because I meant y'all.

Well, I guess this will give us more time
to rehearse, since...

[hiccups] I can get this done quicker.

Yeah. Maybe you're right.

♪ Let's go, Lay Lay, clap, clap ♪

[zooming]

Super speed, invisibility, freezing time?

With her avatar powers
and my business genius,

we're gonna take over the world.

[laughs maniacally]

[coughs]

[continues laughing]

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

Thank you so much for doing this.

It's just a silly apology video,

and then tonight we'll be introduced

at the Cleveland Hall of Fame
Music Awards by Iggy Azalea.

Who was wrong.

[sighs] Yeah. See, I know you were right,

and you know you were right.

So what's it matter if her millions
of followers think you were wrong?

I'm gonna need one more.

-Please, baby, baby, please.
-[laughs]

Ew, you're somebody's parents.

-Have you made your decision?
-I have.

I'm doing this for you.

-For us.
-Whatever.

Hit record, little girl.

♪ Ooh, my, my, I'm sorry ♪

♪ Ooh, my, my, I was wrong ♪

♪ Ooh, my, my, your way was better ♪

♪ This is my apology song ♪

Ooh, my, my.

We're going to break the Internet.

-And Iggy's gonna introduce us tonight?
-You know it.

Okay, bye.

Thank you so much for doing this for us.

I'm sorry you had to go through all this.

Oh, you can apologize better than that.

-What do you mean?
-Uh-huh.

-No.
-Ready?

-No, seriously...
-Ready, five, six, seven, eight.

♪ Ooh, my, my, I'm sorry ♪

♪ Ooh, my, my, I was wrong ♪

-Yeah.
-♪ Ooh, my, my, your way was better ♪

-♪ This is my apology song ♪
-Break it down.

Babe, I forgot to press record.

Yeah. One more.

Five, six, seven, eight.

♪ Ooh, my, my, I'm sorry ♪

♪ Ooh, my, my, I was wrong ♪

♪ Ooh, my, my ♪

[upbeat music]

[zooming]

[sighs]

I moved so fast, my brain got jiggled,
and I do not like jiggly brain.

Good job.

The first phase of
Operation Marky Gets Rich is complete.

[hiccups]

Whoa. Lay Lay, you're hiccupping again.

-Are you okay?
-Oh, yeah, I just... [hiccups]

Need a minute.

Hey, kids. We got something to tell ya!

We just booked Iggy Azalea.

all: Bars.

Good job, Mom.

You're not as lame as Sadie says you are.

I never said that.

I said...

I love you, Mommy.

Our minutes of fame
just turned into .

Whoo!

-Why are we running?
-I'm too excited to walk!

-Okay.

Your parents' night
is gonna be so amazing.

It's like a dream come true.

Speaking of dreams,
let's talk about my dreams...

money!

[both groan]

Lay Lay, you're going to use
your super-speed powers

to get my samples into every gift bag,
including Iggy's.

You're gonna make us work more?

You're k*lling me, Marky.

I can't perform after filling up
all those bags with super speed.

I'm the queen of extra,
but that is too extra.

[hiccups]

[buzzing]

Oh, I don't feel good.

[buzzing]

-What are you doing?
-Lay Lay Lay.

[gasps]

Lay Lay Lay Lay Lay Lay!

-Why do you keep saying your name?
-Lay Lay Lay Lay Lay Lay.

Uh-oh. "Lay Lay" is all she can say.

This isn't good.

Lay Lay Lay Lay. Lay Lay.

What is wrong with her, Sadie?

You had her doing too much.

Marky, you broke Lay Lay.

[dramatic music]

♪ ♪

[upbeat music]

Fashion is very, very, very, very
important to me.

It is a way that I keep my confidence up.

I like to be done up for sure.

But, like, if you see me
in a grocery store, airport,

joggers, hoodies,

but you know,
I got some cute stuff in there.

So it's really just my comfort. I feel
comfortable when I wear clothes like that.

We're gonna go with that.

I want to pick it out. [laughs]

-Let's go red.
-Red?

I have to wear something
that makes me happy.

And that's life with That Girl Lay Lay.