02x04 - Lay Lay's Beauty Shop Day Day

[bunniefuu]

Ahh, Saturday morning.

No craziness.

No chaos.

Just peace and...

Ahh!

What's going on, Lay Lay?

Code Pink! Code Pink!

Code Pink?

[gasps] You broke a nail.

I broke a nail.

Why, Sadie, why?

Did I hear a Code Pink?

Yes, you did.

And my life is over.

Well, don't give up hope.

Because I'm going to the beauty shop.

Why don't you girls come with me?

Really? But I thought
going to the beauty shop

was "Trish time."

First, your air quotes are "judgy."

And second, you girls are getting older.

I think we're ready to turn
Trish time into girl time.

Finally. I've been waiting
for this day my whole life.

Lay Lay, my salon has the best nail techs,

the best stylist,

the best gossip.

Gossip?

Lead with that next time.

[Trish sighs]

Welcome to the beauty shop,

where you walk in busted
but you walk out beautiful.

Holy Madame CJ Walker.

[laughs] Now, there's just one rule:

what happens at the beauty shop
stays at the beauty shop.

We've got it, don't we, Lay Lay?

[shrieks]

Every shade of pink
from bubble gum to bubble bath.

Ahh!

Sadie, catch me.

I'm in heaven.

Okay. Oh.

-Trish.
-Oh.

Honey, I am so glad you made it.

You know, if you were late,

Velma was gonna try
to swipe your appointment.

She ain't lyin' either.

And If I catch any one of y'all slippin',

so will your lace front.

Really, Sister Velma?

Whatever happened
to "Thou shalt not steal"?

Trish, honey, the Lord knows
I need my wig smoked.

Deacon Gladys, this is your shop?

I'm only Deacon Gladys at church.

But down here, I'm Gladys,

the one without the Pips.

[laughter]

What's a Pip?

I don't know. I'm still trying
to figure out what a lace front is.

Hey, ladies, what are you doing here?

Lugnut? What are we doing here?

What are you doing here?

He has a standing appointment.

You think these luxurious locks glisten

from motor oil alone?

[Sadie sniffing]

Mmm-mmm, Ms. Gladys,
whatever hair conditioner

you're using here smells delicious.

Well, that's the smell
of Gladys' famous chili.

Don't forget about
the corn bread on the side.

I do it all up in here, baby.

Okay.

Ooh, Code Pink.

What happened to that nail?

Don't make me relive it.

-Help me?
-Mm-hmm.

You, go sit at my station, and, you,

my nail girl Anina can do
any design you can think up.

Oh, challenge accepted.

So what we doing today?

Nothing crazy, really.

Just pink on the left,
glitter on the right,

chrome tips, unicorn stickers,
and diamond studs

on every nail, then finish that
with a matte finish.

Can you handle that?

Baby, that's just a Saturday for me.

What up, Marky?

Scoot, I texted you minutes ago.

You just got here?

You live next door.

Sorry, boss.

There was a dead squirrel in the street

that I wanted to poke with a stick.

Say no more.

Scoot, my friend, we're gonna
make ourselves some money

by tapping into the health
and fitness market.

I have no idea what you're talking about,

but I am so in.

That's what I love about you, Scoot,

your unbridled enthusiasm for things

you don't understand.

So... what's el plan, señor?

Haa-haa-haa.

I invested a ton of money
in these Buff Bars,

and I have a plan to make 'em sell
like fireworks on the Fourth.

Do we need a dead squirrel?

Because I know where we can get one.

Chill with the dead squirrel.

You're gonna challenge the strongest guy
at BoomBox Burger

to an arm wrestling contest.

I am? Sweet.

Yup. You'll take a bite of the Buff Bar,

and when you win the arm wrestling match
in front of everyone,

they'll all become Buff Bar believers.

No way.

Buff Bars will make me that strong?

We don't need you to be strong.

Because we're gonna rig the match.

BoomBox Burger delivery.

Who ordered the Notorious BLT?

That would be me.

I still expect a tip.

Cobo, I have a business offer for you.

All you have to do is lose
in an arm wrestling match

to my curly-headed friend here,

and I'll pay you for it.

Uh... I don't know.

Losing is hard for me.

But Woody basically pays me
in chicken nuggets,

so I'm in.

[laughter]

[Trish] He does.

Bryce talks in his sleep in a Jay-Z voice.

[Velma] Uh-uh.

"Oh, I'm sleeping so good. HOV!"

[laughter]

"I'm floating on a cloud. Ye-ah!"

[laughter]

At least she got a man.

And a standing appointment.

Thanks again for letting Lay Lay
and me come with you, Mom.

Yeah, I love it here, Ms. A.

And, Ms. Gladys,
you might need to get a mop.

-Why?
-To catch all this drip.

♪ I'm Sadie's affirmation app ♪

♪ And so no matter what happens
I got her back ♪

♪ 'Cause, see, my homey Sadie
Wished on a star ♪

♪ She said, "I wish you were real" ♪

♪ Now I'm as real as you are ♪

♪ And now who's coming out the app? ♪

♪ That girl Lay Lay ♪

♪ Whose avatar power is to freeze? ♪

-♪ That girl Lay Lay ♪
-♪ All day, all day ♪

♪ It's your girl ♪

♪ That girl, that girl, that girl ♪

♪ That girl Lay Lay ♪

How's everybody in here doing?

Mwah!

'Cause I slept like a baby last night.

Uh-uh, I bet you did sleep like a baby.

Ye-ah!

Trish...

...did you tell Lay Lay
about my sleepy-time Jay-Z voice?

She told the whole beauty shop. [laughs]

Disrespectful.

I'm taking back my kiss.

I'm sorry, baby.

I love you.

Lay Lay.

What'd I do?

You broke the golden rule.

[Lay Lay] What?

What golden rule?

What happens at the beauty shop
stays at the beauty shop.

-Oh, who said that?
-I did!

It's okay.

[scoffs] I mean, it's not like
you repeated beauty shop gossip

to anyone outside this house.

-Yeah, that would be a mess.
-[laughter]

[both gasp]

Little girl, what did you do?

You can run, but you can't hide

from Trish "You Can't Hide
From Me" Alexander.

She's probably behind the couch
where she usually is.

[Lay Lay] Dang it.

Look, I'm sorry, Mrs. A.

The gossip was so funny
I had to share the wealth.

Tell me exactly what happened.

Okay.

So I was at BoomBox Burger...

[laughter]

And it turns out Ms. Velma
don't got the gout.

She's been faking it all this time

just to get a better parking spot.

Yo, what? That's hilarious.

Hey, you got to tell Woody.

Uh, who's that guy with Woody?

Oh, that's Health Inspector Doug.

He's tough.

He'll shut you down over a single rat.

[laughter]

That's why Pastor Brown
paid extra for his pedicure.

He's got toes.

[laughter]

That's...that's funny, Lay Lay.

Tell us another one
up in this crystal clean,

perfectly up to health
and safety standards establishment.

[laughter]

And listen, I am all about
ladies getting their hustle on,

but stirring a pot of chili
next to a pot of hair conditioner,

that is wrong, Gladys, and she know it.

[laughter]

Oh, and...

...y'all know the secret ingredient
to her corn bread

is probably Velma's corns.

[laughter]

Sweet James Brown.

She's out of control!

Will Ms. Gladys be upset?

[squealing] Of course not.

They love me at the beauty shop.

We could go back right now,

and I bet the girls
would be happy to see us.

[laughter]

Hey, y'all.

Okay, so maybe they're
a teensy weensy bit upset.

So how's everybody's week?

Anyone see that new
Michael B. Jordan movie?

I think he takes his shirt off.

Ooh.

Seems like you ladies are upset
about... something.

Mm-hmm.

We heard little Miss Lay Lay
had a whole lot to say say.

Bars?

Word travels fast, huh?

When it's in your mouth, it does.

Lay Lay broke the golden rule.

And you know what that means,
don't you, Trish?

No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no!

That's right.

You and your girls are banned.

I'm banned?

[all] You're banned.

[gasps]

Oh, oh, now, Gladys, come on.

I can understand banning
these little girls.

They're monsters.

But I have a standing weekly appointment.

Revoked.

Bye, Felicia.

Yes, yes, yes, yes,
I'm finally on the schedule.

The Lord is faithful to His children.

Get up, baby. Go on. Go on.

-♪ Jump ♪
-♪ Whoo ♪

-♪ Jump, jump ♪
-♪ Whoo ♪

-♪ Jump, jump ♪
-♪ Whoo ♪

Attention, BoomBox Burger.

Because of Buff Bars, I feel strong enough

to do anything after one bite.

One bite, you say?

I want to challenge...
Cobo to an arm wrestling match.

[gasps]

You want to arm wrestle the strongest guy

at East Packer High?

I respect your moxie, kid,

but that does not seem
like a wise course of action.

Seriously, weak little kid?

You would like to challenge me?

How do you think you could possibly win?

Because he just bit a Buff Bar.

Gather round for the battle
of the century,

Cobo versus Scoot.

[imitates crowd cheering]

I know I got five on Cobo. [chuckles]

I want a clean match, all right?

Ready. Set. Go.

[crowd yelling]

Yeah!

Well, people, it looks like
Buff Bars really work.

And I just so happen
to be selling them for $ .

Twenty dollars?

I'd have to be an ignoramus
to not take that deal.

Take it all in, gentlemen,

because this is just the beginning.

We're gonna be doing this
over and over again.

That's a lot of cash.

Yeah.

And here's your cut.

That's it?

I should get more.

This whole operation
would be a bust without me.

[laughs]

Ah, nah, brother.

That is not how it works.

You should have negotiated
a higher fee up front

when you had maximum leverage.

I always win.

I can't believe I took a loss for this.

Well, you better get used to it,

'cause you got a lot more losing to do.

Maybe when Mom sees
we made her favorite breakfast,

she'll forgive you for getting her banned
from her beauty shop.

I didn't get her banned.

I got all of us banned.

But she's strong.

She's probably over it by now.

Ooh.

Hey, girls.

Good morning, Mom.

[chuckles nervously]
Um, looking good, Mrs. A.

[sighs]

Feeling good, Lay Lay.

Hey, want to do something fun later,

like see a movie, or... you could shower?

Sorry, but Saturday is just not the same
without the beauty shop.

I'm gonna go sit in the broom closet
and pretend I'm under a hair dryer.

[imitates dryer whirring]

You look amazing today, honey.

Don't do me, Bryce.

I can't watch your mother
struggle through one more day.

You two need to go down
to that beauty shop

and do whatever you got to do.

But we've been banned.

Whatever you got to do!

Did you mean, "Ah-heh, ah-heh,

"whatever you gotta do, son.

Ye-ah"?

Too soon.

Please, Ms. Gladys,

I'm sorry that I broke the golden rule,

but Mrs. A shouldn't be punished
for something that I did.

Yeah, don't punish my mom and me

'cause Lay Lay thought
she was Wendy Williams.

"How you doin'?"

Please.

Look, if you two want my forgiveness,

don't tell me; show me.

Today this Gladys is gonna have her Pips.

I still don't know what that means.

But it does not sound fun.

LaQuinta called in sick today,

so if the two of you spend
the rest of the day

working here, then I might think about

unbanning your mama.

Deal. This might be fun.

You want me to start doing
some customers' nails?

[laughs]

Oh, no, baby.

What you can do is empty
that bucket of toenail clippings.

It's over there.

Follow the smell.

[Lay Lay] Eww!

I give a mean scalp massage.

Did you want me to start
at the shampoo bowl?

You sure can start at the shampoo bowl.

Okay.

But you won't be shampooing.

Get ready to meet the hair trap.

It doesn't sound gross,
but trust me... it is.

You ready to do this?

For Mrs. A.

For Mom.

[upbeat rap music plays]

♪ Whoa ♪

♪ And you don't stop ♪

♪ Clap your hands to the b*at ♪

♪ Just clap your hands to the b*at ♪

♪ Clap your hands to the b*at ♪

♪ Just clap your hands to the b*at ♪

♪ Clap your hands to the b*at... ♪

[Sadie grunts]

[Lay Lay grunts, crashes]

♪ Just clap your hands to the b*at ♪

♪ Work, work, work
That's all I ever hear you do ♪

[rapping indistinctly]

♪ ♪

♪ Oh, oh-oh-oh, oh, oh, oh ♪

Okay, guys, you ready
to do it just like last time?

Same grift, new suckers.

Yup, just like you said,
same grift, new suckers.

You're on, Scoot. Go.

Ahh!

After eating this Buff Bar,
I want to challenge Cobo

to an arm wrestling match.

Sure, let's do it.

I think I've seen this movie before.

Haven't you heard of a sequel? [laughs]

I got ten on my boy Cobo. [laughs]

Yeah, but this time, it's personal.

Gather round, everyone,

for the battle to end all battles,

Cobo versus Scoot.

[imitates crowd cheering]

Ready. Set. Go.

[crowd cheering]

[dramatic music plays]

[grunting]

♪ ♪

This is the part where you're
supposed to let me win.

What are you doing?

Renegotiating, since right now,
I seem to have maximum leverage.

Fine. I'll give you %.

Marky, give him whatever he wants.

He's hurting my squirrel-poking arm.

Seventy-five, final offer.

Deal, and for the record,
I would have said yes to .

[crowd] Ohh!

Yeah!

I can't believe you lost again.

I can't believe you didn't see it coming.

There you have it, Buff Bars for the win.

Now, who wants to be a winner?

[all chattering]

Great job, gentlemen.

We sold out every Buff Bar.

And now it's time to split our earnings.

Based on the money you took in last time,

here's your cut.

You guys split that,

and don't spend it all in one place.

Please tell us we're done after this.

Oh, no.

After this, you can empty
the nose hair bucket.

Nose hair bucket?

How many gross buckets do you have, lady?

Hmm, smells kind of meaty
for a beauty salon.

Health Inspector Doug,
what are you doing here?

I've heard rumors that you're
serving black market chili.

If that's true, I'm shutting you down.

[snaps fingers]

-Lay Lay...
-Hmm?

Why did you just freeze time?

I probably should have mentioned

that Health Inspector Doug
was sipping on that tea

I was spilling at BoomBox Burger.

Oh, no.

You heard him. He'll shut her down.

We have to cover for Ms. Gladys.

We're her Pips.

Oh, that's what a Pip is?

Okay, I know what I have to do.

[snaps fingers]

Chili in a beauty salon?

So that's not chili?

Well, you know,

it's, like, um...

Ms. Gladys' newest skin care product.

Yup, this pot is full of a new

exclusive facial cleanser.

-Mm-hmm.
- Looks like chili to me.

If it was chili, would we do this?

Hey, hey, do what?

Girl, you know.

You just don't want to accept it.

-Mmm.
-Oh, yo.

We'd have to be crazy
to be rubbing actual chili

on our faces.

Ooh, yeah, now,
this really soothes the skin.

[both] Ooh.

Ahh.

Ooh, oh, and you know what?

This here is a corn bread exfoliator.

[gasps] Oh, yeah, Lay Lay.

Don't waste it all on me. [laughs]

-Ohh.
-Uh-huh.

Oh, now my cheeks feel smooth
like a baby's butt.

[both] Ohh.

All right, enough
with the Fenty Beauty demo.

You're off the hook.

But I've got my eye on you.

I don't blame you.

I'm adorable.

Whew, that was close.

But you girls really respect this shop.

We really do, Ms. Gladys.

We love it here.

Ms. Gladys, it would mean a lot

if you can reinstate my mom and us.

Yes.

You girls are officially unbanned.

And Trish's standing appointment
is reinstated.

-Yes.
-Yes!

Oh, thank you.

But you have to tell Velma that her

and her Bible study wig are out.

Oh, no. She's back.

But you're not gonna have me
in these streets

looking like Ja Rule.

Okay, we gonna gossip about Velma, right?

Girl, yes.

[all chattering]

Three, two, one. Right here?

I started dancing
as soon as I came out the womb.

I was a very sassy little thing
when I was little.

Not gonna lie, I was sassy.

I started in a studio in Houston,

and then I came to Atlanta,
and then I just bettered my craft.

Music makes me feel amazing.

I just kind of let it all out.

I like it! [laughs]

You just hear the music,
and you just kind of let your feelings

and your emotion just come out
when it comes to dancing.

And that's Life With That Girl Lay Lay.