02x08 - Custom K.I.T.T.

[bunniefuu]

In recent months, there's been a rash of car thefts.

The "bump-and-run" is the latest technique.

Let's get out of here! You wanted to steaI a car, and now you've stolen the ride of your lives.

The Pennington has been stolen, Michael.

Can Carrie's car make it? If it does, it will be by the skin of its bumper.

There's my car! Knight Rider, a shadowy flight into the dangerous world of a man who does not exist.

MichaeI Knight, a young loner on a crusade to champion the cause of the innocent, the helpless, the powerless, in a world of criminals who operate above the law.

Oh.

Uh-oh.

Is that all you can find to say, madam? Oh, you're gonna be mad.

Oh, don't be mad.

It's such a beautiful day.

Nevertheless, this car you so carelessly struck just happens to be one of the very few Pennington Ascot Regencies left in the world.

And it is not mine.

Oh, Bobby Jo's just going to k*ll me.

I need identification.

I also need your insurance.

You are insured, aren't you? Bobby Jo is.

This is his car.

My purse, it's in the front seat.

Would you, oh, please? I don't feel so good.

Oh, my God.

Devon sure looked great in that blazer, didn't he? I had the distinct impression he was trying to impress the car.

Can you blame him? The Pennington Ascot Regency is a classic.

Not that you aren't in its class.

Actually, KITT, you're in a class all by yourself.

You're one of a kind.

Thank you.

Mmm-hmm.

Hello, Devon.

I thought you were out joyriding in the Pennington.

The Pennington has been stolen, MichaeI.

What? I'll explain later.

The point is Cdr.

Smythe is due back here, early Monday morning.

Now, if he returns, and I haven't got the Pennington- Say no more.

I'll meet you at the semi.

Devon, are you sure it was planned? Yes, it was a professional job.

I wish I'd been rude and told her to fetch her own purse.

A gentleman to the very end.

All right, what've you got? Well, in recent months, there's been a rash of custom and classic car thefts.

The "bump-and-run" is the latest technique.

Well, if that's all we've got to go on, somebody's in a lot of trouble.

Must you be so negative? Actually, it's not all we've got to go on.

April? Well, I think we've come up with a common denominator.

Everywhere there's been a theft, there's also been a custom car show not far away.

Makes a lot of sense.

The shows attract cars.

The cars attract potential buyers.

Which is precisely the reason that you're going to Barton Springs.

If they are planning to sell the Pennington, this could very well be the place.

The Barton Springs Custom and Classic Car Show.

State your case with black or white.

But when one little cross leads to sh*ts.

Grit your teeth.

You run for cover so discreet.

Why don't they.

Do what they say, say what you mean.

One thing leads to another.

You told me something wrong, I know I listen too long.

But then one thing leads to another.

The impression that you sell.

Passes in and out like a scent.

But the long face that you see.

comes from living close to your fears.

.

Nice car.

Oh, thanks.

I hope the judges think so.

Yeah.

Can you tell me who runs the show? Sure.

Uh, Suzanne Weston.

She's over there.

Look for the tightest pants.

Thanks.

May I have your ticket, ma'am? Great.

Good luck.

Thank you.

Hi, you Miss Weston? Mmm-hmm.

Name's Michael Knight.

I'm a collector.

Couple of my buddies told me I hadn't been to a show, till I'd been to one of yours.

From what I can see, they weren't just blowing smoke.

It'll be the best show this season.

That's real good to hear, because I'm looking for a car.

Something real special.

Of course I know some of the best deals aren't always in the open market.

Sometimes privacy is as important as pink slips.

I just run a car show, Michael.

I don't handle private sales.

But, uh, hang around.

Mingle a bit, get to know the owners.

Who knows what a good-looking man like you might turn up.

Now you remember, when you wave, make a big show of it.

Hey, hey, hey, hey! Move back here, folks.

Move back.

Move back.

Let the Longhorn in.

Get away from it.

There's plenty of gawking to be done on the inside.

Dobie, Dobie, come on, take it in there.

Hit anybody that touches the paint.

Nora, come on.

Psst.

Back off, pard.

Don't crowd the Horn.

Not crowding.

Just looking, pard.

We gotta have a little talk, Suzanne.

I was promised supreme spotting on the inside.

I get here, and what do I find? I find the Haver girl has got that spot.

Now, you gotta figure out who the star of this show is, sweetheart.

In a minute.

In a minute, Buck.

This is Michael Knight.

Nora and Buck Rayburn.

Buck is also a collector.

Really? Maybe we'll get a chance to talk later, huh? Sure thing.

Just as soon as I get squared away with the sweetheart here.

Now, why can't I put the Horn right next to the Haver girl's car? Buck, there's no room.

Look at that blonde.

Oh! That bathing suit's got to be painted on.

What there is of it.

Now, she would make a great cheerleader.

Will you forget about cheerleaders? Who cares about credentials here? I'm talking flesh.

You know what it takes to get that kind of flesh, Hector? Big bucks, Hector.

Or a hot car.

Excuse me.

Never had a doubt.

How're you doing, pal? I'm doing just as you asked, MichaeI.

Snapping pictures of every woman who walks by.

I feeI absolutely ludicrous.

Like a second-rate spy in a B movie.

It's gotta be done.

Devon just might be able to ID someone.

I suppose.

Are you making any progress? No.

No bites yet.

Well, I'll continue working the party, and, uh, show everybody I'm in the market.

Working the party? You call making small talk and drinking margaritas working? Keep your scanners peeled and your shutter snapping.

I know.

It's a dirty job, but somebody's gotta do it.

I knew you'll never keep.

Don't be stupid.

This is a chance to do something with your life.

Thanks for your interest.

But in case you didn't notice, I already am.

What? Towing around your father's dream? Carrie, that car was his fixation, not yours.

I'll give you $20,000 cash.

The car's not for sale, Suzanne.

Not now.

Not ever.

$20,000.

That's as high as I'll go.

If you're smart, you'll take it.

Promises, promises.

.

Hi.

Oh, hi.

You okay? Sure, I'm okay.

Yeah, well, I couldn't help overhearing the conversation.

Yeah.

It's just some of these people around here.

It's like my dad never even existed.

"Eddie Haver d*ed? Oh, too bad.

"Maybe his kid's desperate.

"Maybe we can- Maybe we can buy his dream for 10 cents on the dollar.

" On Sunday, they'll be crying when the judges announce the winner.

Thanks.

Hey.

How about breakfast tomorrow? Oh, well, I plan to be at the show by 7:00.

Me, too.

Get some coffee and doughnuts and drive over together.

You sure you're not trying to bribe me to sell you my car? Bribe you? With coffee and doughnuts? Tomorrow? Okay.

Okay.

See you tomorrow.

Good night.

Michael, she's just a kid.

Cute, but really not in your league.

When you're ready to graduate, stop by and say hello.

Room 358.

You know the people here? Some.

Mostly by reputation.

They're a mixed bag.

Owners, drivers, collectors Lots of wheeling and dealing.

What about this, uh, Suzanne Weston? Hmm.

Suzanne.

She's the type of woman who wants something if someone else has it.

Cars, men, it doesn't matter.

That's my car! My car! Michael, is he dead? He'll be okay.

Call an ambulance.

Go! KITT, get over here, quick.

MichaeI, there's a train track less than a mile ahead.

As long as there's no train.

That's precisely my point.

There is.

All right, let's have a look.

Can Carrie's car make it? If it does, it will be by the skin of its bumper.

What about us? Certainly not in the conventionaI way.

Get ready, pal.

MichaeI.

You got them on your scanner? I hate to say it, MichaeI, but Carrie's car has disappeared.

We've got a contract! No contract on Earth is gonna keep the Longhorn here overnight again.

I'm lucky that thief was blessed with bad taste and didn't steal the Horn as it is.

I could sue you, Rayburn.

Not without a counter-suit, Miss Weston.

Your contract guaranteed adequate security.

You tell her, sweet pea.

I'll double the security.

Oh, God.

They said they'll do their best.

Which is a sure sign they have no hope of recovering it.

Don't make it any worse than it already is.

It couldn't get any worse.

Thanks for trying to help.

By the way, that's some car you've got.

Who are you? I mean.

you're more than what you've said.

Well, believe it or not, I'm here to find out who's been stealing the cars whenever there's a show.

What are you, an undercover cop? Something like that.

Listen, I don't know about you, but my car is all I've got.

Let me work with you.

I'm sorry, I work alone.

Besides, it could be dangerous.

Well, I'm not afraid.

Please If you had anything to do with this If that's an accusation, you'd better be able to back it up.

Oh, if I could back it up, you wouldn't be standing there with your eye shadow so perfectly overdone.

Well, you've got a smart mouth for a girl who's just turned in her training bra.

Okay, hold it.

Nobody feels very good about this, and this is not gonna make anyone feel better.

So why don't we call it a draw and each of us go out to our neutral corners.

What's your interest in this? Just mingling, like you said.

Well, maybe you should learn to be a little more selective.

Come on, I'll buy you a lemonade.

A double.

You gonna do this all your life? What? This.

Stare at the ground prowling for cigarette butts.

If you're gonna lecture me about smoking, Leroy I'm not talking about smoking, beetle-brain, I'm talking about this.

Common labor.

How many cheerleaders you think you're gonna get on $2.

25 an hour? Is that all we make? Hector, Hector, Hector, I'm telling you, if you want cheerleaders you gotta have a fancy car.

On $2.

25 an hour? Hector, what you make does not necessarily determine how you live.

Look at the guy who stole that girl's car this morning.

He didn't work for it.

But he's got it.

Come on.

Well, I've studied all the photos KITT's transmitted.

Anything? Nothing, I'm afraid.

I'm beginning to wonder if I'd recognize her, if I bumped into each other at the supermarket.

Devon, you don't go to supermarkets.

Yes, quite right, but you take my point, don't you? ApriI went over the stolen car and found a single strand of hair, from an expensive wig made of Elura.

What about the background on our people? Nothing, I'm afraid.

With the exception of Suzanne Weston.

She has an arrest record.

An arrest record? Don't tell me.

Quite right, MichaeI.

Two counts of grand theft auto.

No convictions.

Interesting lady.

I wonder if she has an affinity for wigs.

Good work, Devon.

Not good enough I'm afraid.

Cdr.

Smythe has had a change of plans.

He's arriving tomorrow.

MichaeI, I'm a mature man.

I handle human frailties fairly well, even my own.

But I have no intention of facing the Commander car-less.

I hear you.

KITT, remember these letters: "CB, JR, JW.

" MichaeI, I'm convinced they're to a combination lock.

But where that particular type of lock is at the present is an entirely different matter.

All right.

Let's see if only her hairdresser knows for sure.

Sorry, MichaeI.

As you can see, the hair from Suzanne's wig is a coarse synthetic.

It comes from a cheaper wig.

There's more wigs floating around here than in Miami Beach.

MichaeI, the impossible once again becomes commonplace.

You got a fix on the lock? Better than that.

I can tell you where it is.

CB.

JR.

JW.

Okay.

You better get lost.

MichaeI, two vehicles are approaching the warehouse.

One is Suzanne, the other an unknown cyclist, going around back.

Thanks, pal.

KITT, I'm around back, cut him off.

Hold it! Hold it! Stop! Carrie! I don't care what you think, I'm innocent.

I'm not guilty of anything.

Unlike you.

What are you talking about? Suzanne Weston.

I saw you sneak out of her room after your nasty little assignation.

It wasn't what you think and if you're so innocent, why are you here? I think Suzanne stole my car.

Either stole it or had it stolen.

I don't trust her.

Yeah.

I don't trust her either.

Doesn't mean she's guilty, does it? Besides, your car isn't even in there.

Just storage.

You sound like we're working together.

Are we? Okay.

For starters, I got a good idea.

What? If the thief isn't interested in selling me a car, maybe he'd like to steal one from me.

How's this? Oh, that would be great.

ApriI, I can't believe you're participating in this barbarism.

Now, KITT, you know we wouldn't be doing this if it weren't absolutely necessary.

How would you feeI if someone decided to extend your nose, remove your ears, lengthen your neck and paint your body candy-apple red? Thank goodness Wilton Knight isn't here to see this sacrilege.

Yo, Devon.

MichaeI, have you made any progress at all? Uh, that depends on how you define progress.

I define it as recovering the Pennington.

In that case, no.

But I've come up with a new approach.

I've decided to change tactics.

While you're changing tactics, I'm running out of time.

Cdr.

Smythe is due here in less than 24 hours.

Maybe you can stall him.

My dear boy, one does not stall the Commander.

One tries to survive him.

Lt.

Miles, attention! Did you see the look on his face? I think you're both being extremely insensitive to the humiliation involved here.

You mean Devon's? Mine.

Well, KITT, think of it this way.

Even as we speak, innocent, beautiful cars, are being stolen and customized against their will.

Against their will? Against their will.

In that case, we've no time to lose.

Proceed.

The odds on the Longhorn are even money, boys.

Even money.

Bet 100 to win 90.

There's a 10 percent vig.

You think I do this just to win friends and influence people? Well, put me down for 1,000.

You better run a good book, Dobie, know what I mean? Because the Longhorn is a shoe-in.

Can I use the hot tub later? Over my dead body.

Did you hear anything about a last-minute entry? No.

My entrance fee's still good, isn't it? Oh, no way.

No ringers.

No late entries.

It's not exactly a late entry, Mr.

Rayburn.

Carrie had a car registered, and it was stolen.

This car's just taking its place.

Well? She paid her entrance fee so the car is allowed to compete.

Well, it's just a car.

What are you looking at? Step right up.

It's just a car.

Show off.

That's what I call a mean machine.

There isn't a cheerleader in the world you couldn't get with that car, Hector.

And did you see Rayburn? He looked like he was going to jump out of his skin and fly all the way back to Texas.

He could do that on his wife's broomstick.

Have I thanked you for all your help? Yeah.

In your own way.

Well, I'm not quite sure what that means, but, uh, it doesn't sound right.

I mean, it seems to me that I should thank a person in his way.

What is your way, Michael? I'll tell you what.

If our plan works, and the thief tries to steal KITT tonight, you can thank me.

I don't think you answered my question.

So I'm just gonna have to guess.

Get down here.

Close? Real close.

See you tomorrow, cr*ck of dawn.

I'll be ready.

Hi.

What are you doing here? Oh, I thought it was time for us to pick up where we left off.

Yeah, well, Suzanne, this whole thing.

I'm telling you, it's not the way it looks.

I take pride in making myself perfectly clear.

It's not worth it.

Why are we getting in all this trouble? Do you trust me? Will you just trust me? It is worth it.

It is worth it.

Will you just listen? I'm no- I'm no good at this kind of stuff.

We ain't in no trouble.

We only get in trouble if we get caught.

And we ain't gonna get caught, Hector.

What's that? That? Oh, that, uh That is a computer watch.

And it reminds me that I've gotta take some pills.

Well, you look perfectly healthy to me.

It's a miracle of modern medicine.

KITT, what is it? We've got a bite, MichaeI.

Two stealthy figures are approaching me.

Uh, you handle it.

I'll be out there as soon as I can.

I think it's time we had a nice little talk.

Michael whoever-you-are.

All right, what do you want to talk about? Who you are.

Why you're here.

I told you.

Then let's be more specific.

Because, I also saw you skulking around the warehouse I rented.

I'll tell you what.

You give me the g*n, and I'll give you an answer.

Suzanne, Grand Theft Auto is one thing.

But you really don't want to sh**t me.

Oh, good move, Hector.

You just woke half the town.

How come I always have to carry everything? Look, let's just forget the whole thing.

So far all they have on us is intent to disturb the peace.

That's a humiliation, disturbing the peace.

What do you get if you disturb the peace? If I'm gonna get busted, I'd rather get busted for Grand Theft Auto.

At least it's got substance.

At least they know you were going for something.

Now, bend the hangers.

Bend the hangers.

Oh, dear, what a disappointment.

Small fish in a small pond.

Well, I guess that old saying is true.

Oh, yeah? What's that? Truth is stranger than fiction.

Stranger but not nearly as interesting.

For what it's worth, I hope you find whoever stole your boss' car.

As the owner of a car show, I hate the thefts as much as anybody else.

We build our image on good, clean family fun.

And if you're ever in the mood for the other kind, you know where you can find me.

Oh, yeah, KITT, what's happening? False alarm, MichaeI.

I thought somebody was after you.

They were.

Are, actually.

The trouble is they're not professionaI thieves.

How do you know? They're trying to gain entry with a coat hanger and a Phillips screwdriver.

I can't figure this out for the life of me.

Let's go home, Leroy.

There's no cheerleader worth any of this.

I got an idea.

No! Guaranteed to work.

Come on, get the box.

How come I always got to carry the toolbox? Come on.

How come? Well, MichaeI, the night is still young.

Those two baboons have gone and there's still time to catch the reaI thief.

Yeah.

Let's hope so, for Devon's sake.

You did what with the Pennington? I, uh, had her entered in a car show.

You put the Pennington Ascot Regency on display, before commoners? Well, you see, Henry, I, uh, I felt that all that beauty, all that majesty, ought to be shared with the rest of the world, to brighten the colorless lives of the deprived, of the, uh, less fortunate.

Yes, I I suppose I can see what you mean.

You can? Why, that's absolutely wonderful.

What good news for the masses.

Take me to the show at once.

Take you? Henry, it's up in Barton Springs, quite a fair journey and it's already very late.

Uh, look.

What do you say, let's relax for the evening.

And we'll get a fresh start first thing in the morning.

We'll arrive in plenty of time for the judging.

Nothing wrong, is there? Wrong? Certainly not.

What on earth could possibly be wrong? I see there's only one way to get rid of you two.

You did it.

I told you.

Come on.

Wow, look at that dash.

TV set and all.

Didn't I tell you this car was special? You can say that again.

Will you slow down? I'm not doing it, Hector! It's driving itself! Shall we take the scenic route, or are you in a hurry? Who said that? Let's get out of here! No, you don't.

You wanted to steaI a car, and now you've stolen the ride of your lives.

Let me out of here! Remember this the next time you think about stealing a car.

Yes, sir.

Now get lost.

Hector.

You carry it this time.

Goodbye.

I'm-I'm go- I'm going.

I'm going.

And good riddance.

You better hurry up.

Well.

How do I look? Oh, what do you think that black beauty's worth? Oh.

About $75,000.

You look like $75,000.

Ah! There's nothing quite like getting an early start to awaken the senses.

The crisp, clear smell of the dawn.

It makes you yearn for the w*r years, huh, Devon? Leading a bristled gaggle of men into battle.

The clash of steel against steel, by george.

Uh, steel against steel, yes, quite.

Still, we have plenty of time for breakfast.

A leisurely breakfast.

Well, I've waited this long to drive the old girl.

I suppose I could wait a little longer.

Oh, good.

You don't suppose they could find any kippers, do you? Well.

Looks like the amateurs didn't do too much damage, huh? MichaeI, I am more than capable of solving most problems intelligently and scientifically.

Oh, yeah? What did you do? Scared their socks off.

Do you think this plan will work, MichaeI? I certainly hope so.

There's someone approaching us, MichaeI.

Male or female? Female.

To be more specific, blonde.

Bingo.

How unpleasant.

Think about how all the other cars feel.

They dent.

how sorry I am.

It really is just all my fault.

I'm just glad nobody was hurt.

You aren't hurt, are you? No, no, I'm fine.

Oh.

Not a scratch.

Thank goodness.

I mean, these days you don't know who to trust.

Some people just yell whiplash if you just wave at them.

Well, my insurance company will pay for any damage to your car.

Well, uh Looks like you got off lucky.

Yeah.

Well, you know, here could be some internal damage here.

Maybe I'd better get the name of your insurance company.

Just to be on the safe side.

Internal damage.

Of course.

Yes.

Oh, would you be a dear and get me my purse.

I'm just shaking so.

I left it on the front seat.

Sure.

No problem.

Oh, thank you very much.

You sure it's in the car? I can't find it.

It worked.

Who is it? You'll never guess.

Michael! Nora Rayburn.

You're very nice.

Kindly keep your hands to yourself, madam.

What? Oh.

I see.

One of those talking cars.

"Your fuel is low.

" "Please close your door.

" How unnerving.

You ain't seen nothing yet.

Wait a minute.

They don't program cars with bad grammar.

Open that door.

When the truck comes, I want these moved out as soon as possible.

Oh! Ain't it beautiful.

It's just beautiful! Nora.

Oh, I wouldn't know what to do without you.

Did you have any trouble? Not at all.

But it's a real strange car, though.

I mean it speaks horrible English and it practically drives itself.

Well, that's the power steering, honey.

Umm I don't know.

We're ready when they get here, boss.

Load this one last.

There's my car! They stole my car! Come on! Get out of the way! You stay here.

KITT.

Back up.

Now.

Carrie! Hey, Michael, over here.

You okay? Oh, I'm fine.

You there! Pull over! Pull over, I say.

We gotta stop him before he causes an accident.

I got an idea.

MichaeI, you can't be thinking of turbo boosting over the Longhorn.

Come on.

It is amazing, isn't it? Carrie! Got you.

You conniving customizer.

We did it! Oh! We sure did.

Oh.

You stay where you are, MichaeI.

OiI may strike you as hilarious, but not me.

Help! KITT.

KITT.

Now, cut it out.

Hey, I mean it! You two are not getting into me untiI you have a thorough steam-cleaning.

Hey! Hey, come back here! KITT! Devon, I have seen this car twice now.

Where is my Pennington? Have I shown you the customized Packard? Yes.

Devon, I insist you take me to the Pennington immediately.

And so I shall.

Hello.

I just wanted to polish her up a little.

She is a sight, I must say.

You're quite right, Devon.

Everyone should experience her beauty.

Michael! Michael, I won! I won! Fantastic.

Oh, I don't know how to thank you.

I'm still going to think of a way.

I bet you will.

I'll see you later.

Okay.

Thank you.

Good work, Michael.

Thanks, Devon.

Are you all right? I'm all right as long as I don't move from this spot.

Oh.

I see.

Well, I'm sure that you'll think of something.

And I'll see you back at the semi.

I must say, she's a beauty, isn't she? Look here.

Don't crowd around like that.

I say, don't touch! Oh.

I almost forgot.

For you.

"Honorable Mention"? How insulting.

Don't take it too personally, pal.

You know how these contests are.

All political.

I'd like to give those Judges a piece of my mind.