Dylan: Yo, is that my diary?
Myles: I heard you wrote a rap about your mom.
Dylan: It's none of your business.
Rebecca: Look, Dylan, there's no privacy in this house.
- Get over it. - "Dear diary"--
- Shut up! - "Got my first pimple today."
- Aah! - See, Uncle Myles...
Charlie: Give it back!
Dylan: This is why you can't be going through other peoples' stuff.
Myles: Enough!
Charlie brought me one of Dylan's raps about his mom.
Yasmine: Tell him the truth.
Myles: That his mom ran off with some guy?
Yasmine: No! Dylan: My mom's coming back.
Myles: And we're not trying to replace her.
Dylan, we're all here for you.
I'm not gonna be going through your stuff anymore.
We're good? Dylan: We good.
Myles: Yeah. Yeah! Aah! Aah!
Charlie: Ohh!
Myles: Yes! Oh, man, this is a great game.
Charlie: Whoo! I love football!
Dylan: Easy for y'all to say.
My team is getting straight whooped.
Myles: But our team is crushing it, though.
Uh-huh. Don't feel bad. Take a knee.
Ha ha ha!
Dylan: Come on!
Don't go for the touchdown pass.
Please don't go for the pass.
Myles: They're going for the pass.
- They're going for the pass. - No!
Myles and Charlie: What?
Dylan: Yes! We got it! We did it! Mm! Mm! Mm!
Myles: Oh, my...
Dylan: Aah. Ahh. Sit down, little baby boy.
Charlie: Stop dancing.
Myles: Ahh, ahh! Take a knee. Take a knee.
You on the sidelines. Bye-bye. Bye-bye.
Uhh! Uhh!
Ahh-ahh-ahh! Aah!
Let's go!
[doorbell rings]
Oh, there's someone at the door.
Myles: Go get it.
Dylan: But my team is making a comeback.
Myles and Charlie: Get the door.
Bethany: Hi, Mr. Wilson. Is Rebecca here?
Myles: Yeah, she's in her room. Bethany: Thanks.
Myles: OK, come on in.
Dylan: Hi, Bethany. Bethany: Dylan.
Uh, but...then...then...
Dylan: What's good with you?
Bethany: Uh, life is good, Dylan.
Dylan: [laughs]
That's funny. "Life is good."
Bethany: Uh, can you move?
Dylan, deep voice: My bad.
Let me step out your way.
Bethany: Cool. What's wrong with your voice?
Dylan: What do you mean? This is my voice.
Bethany: Did you swallow a frog?
Dylan: Nah, girl, this is what us grownups call puberty.
Bethany: Really?
Dylan: Yep. You like it?
Bethany: Puberty?
Dylan: No, my voice.
The deepness.
Bethany: Actually... [stomps]
Dylan, normal voice: Ow!
Why'd you do that?
Bethany: That's better. It's more like your real voice.
Dylan: So you like my real voice?
Bethany: Oh, Dylan.
No.
Charlie: Dad. Dad!
Myles: What's up? What's up? What's up?
Charlie: Our team just scored. Myles: Yes! Yes.
But Dylan didn't.
That's pretty good.
Dylan: ♪ There once was a kid from the city of Chi ♪
♪ Ma knew I was important, not a regular guy ♪
♪ Everybody follow me
♪ I'm'a take you on a trip, buckle up, let's go ♪
♪ I'm'a get you all a hit
♪ I'm a star, came up from a block in Chi-town ♪
♪ Living large, I'm trying to balance school and these bars ♪
♪ Came far, ain't no better feelin' ♪
♪ I tell 'em, "You're gonna love Young Dylan" ♪
♪ Young Dylan
♪ Young Dylan ♪
♪ I tell 'em, "You're gonna love Young Dylan" ♪
Myles: Ahh, yes!
Charlie: Go, go, go!
Myles: Whoo! I'm on the edge of my seat.
Dylan: [groans]
Myles: Ahh! Charlie: Whoa.
Myles: Let me tell you something, this is amazing.
Charlie: Did you see that, Tommy?
Myles: Oh, I think I saw that, Bill.
What a catch.
Dylan: [groans]
If only I could catch Bethany's attention.
Myles: Dylan, you're too young for her.
Dylan: Age ain't nothing but a number.
Myles: Look, you're , she's .
Dylan: I don't mind a cougar.
Charlie: You want to date a cat?
Dylan: Nah, son. A cougar is--
Myles: Is--is more like a tiger.
Charlie: That makes sense.
Dylan: You got to stop keeping
this kid in the dark, like seriously.
Myles: Like seriously, you got to stop
dragging my kid into your darkness.
Dylan: That's me-- the dark side.
Kylo. Dylan.
Ohh! Dylo! That's fire, yo.
Dylo. Yo.
Myles: Yeah, uh, listen, Dylan.
Dylan: It's Dylo now.
Myles: I'm never gonna call you that.
Bethany doesn't like you.
And, uh, you know, if a girl doesn't like you,
it's rude if you keep trying to get her to like you.
Charlie: Mom didn't like you.
Myles: Well, you know, that was a different time.
Charlie: Why was the 's so different?
Dylan: Right.
Myles: Uh, first of all, it was the 's.
And...times shouldn't have been different, it just was.
Look, your mom and I, we didn't get off to a great start.
Dylan: So what happened?
Myles: OK, I'll tell you.
Charlie: No, not this again.
The time-out just ended.
Myles: She was so sweet. Heh.
I met her in high school.
Uh, she thought I was a dork.
Dylan: [laughs]
Myles: And so she refused to talk to me
until one day when I was playing football and--
Charlie: Mom said, "Good job. Will you marry me?"
Now they have two kids. The end.
I'm trying to watch the game.
Dylan: So is that what happened?
Myles: Uh, actually, yeah, yeah.
I mean, other stuff happened too,
but, you know, that's the gist.
Charlie: Touchdown! Myles: Yeah!
Dylan: No! Charlie: Yes!
Myles: Hit him again. Hit him again.
Dylan: Oh, my gosh. Myles: Get him. Get him.
Get him with it. Get him with it. Mmm! Mmm!
Dylan: Oh, I'm gonna pay you back.
Watch this. I got better dance moves than you.
Bethany: Then my mama had the nerve
to say, "It's a fruit, ain't it?"
and put the whole pineapple in my lunch.
Rebecca: Mm-hmm.
Bethany: I mean, how am I supposed to eat that?
Rebecca: Right.
Bethany: OK, what's wrong with you?
Rebecca: Remember that outfit I wore
to the skating rink on Thursday?
Bethany: The one with the purple socks,
orange scarf, and fuchsia skort?
Rebecca: Yes.
Bethany: The one where you thought you looked like...
[turns fan on] Beyoncé...
But looked more like her cousin...
Be-gone-say?
Rebecca: Yes.
Bethany: Girl, no one will remember that.
That was like days ago.
Rebecca: Yeah, well, it's all over the internet.
Bethany: What?
Rebecca: I know.
Bethany: What are we gonna do?
Rebecca: [sighs] I'm not going to school tomorrow.
Bethany: You have to. What will your parents say?
Rebecca: I'm going to be sick.
Bethany: You can't do that.
Rebecca: They're talking about you, too.
Bethany: What?!
Just 'cause I was with you?
I looked good on that night.
I mean...how dare they talk about us.
Rebecca: See?
Bethany: OK, I'll be sick, too.
Bethany and Rebecca: Aah!
Rebecca: Dylan, out! Bethany: Out!
Dylan: Hold up, baby. You sick?
Bethany: Leave. Rebecca: Out.
Dylan: What you need, Bae?
Chicken noodle soup? Ginger ale?
Bethany: I need you to get out of my face.
Rebecca: And out of my room. Now.
Bethany: Mm-hmm.
Dylan: I'd love to do that, Rebecca,
but if my girl B is sick, I got the prescription.
Rebecca: No, thank you.
Bethany: I'm not sick.
Dylan: Then what's wrong?
[cell phone buzzes]
Hold up.
They said what?
Rebecca: Dylan, give me back my phone.
Dylan: I can't believe they would say all this
about someone I care so much about.
Rebecca: Wow, Dylan. Thank you.
Dylan: You doing OK, Bethany?
Bethany: I'm holding up.
Rebecca: I'm getting it worse here.
Dylan: Did you tell your mom and dad?
Rebecca: I'm not going to.
Dylan: Why not?
Rebecca: Just because, OK?
Now get out.
Dylan: Can't stop, won't-- Ow! Ow!
[whining]
Rebecca: Now if we're going to be sick,
we have to look the part.
Bethany: I got you.
Myles: Whoo! Charlie: Yes!
Myles: You see that? That's my boy right there.
I mean, you my boy, too, but that's my other boy.
You know what I mean.
Yasmine: Woof.
The grind never stops.
How are you doing?
You're still in the same spot I left you two hours ago, I see.
Earthquake!
It's so bad!
[scoffs]
Myles: Oh, wow. Charlie: Whoa.
Myles: Oh, hey, baby.
You off to do your showing?
Yasmine: I just got back.
Charlie: Uh-oh.
Myles: Psych. Ha ha ha.
I was just playing. I knew that.
Charlie: Nice save.
This is actually way more interesting than the game.
Yasmine: Hey, Dylan. Is Rebecca upstairs?
Dylan: Yep. And perfectly healthy.
Yasmine: Unusual follow-up.
Hey, Rebecca, come help me get some things out of the car.
I would ask the boys,
but they're surgically attached to the couch.
Charlie: Yes. Rebecca: [coughs]
Oh, Mom, is that you? Bethany: [sneezes]
Rebecca: Ugh.
I wish I could but--[coughs]-- I'm sick.
Bethany: [sneezes]
Me, too?
Rebecca: Wait, are we coughing or are we sneezing?
Bethany: I'm trying.
Yasmine: OK, this is highly suspicious,
and so is this.
Dylan just told us how healthy you are.
Rebecca: Dylan!
Bethany: That's weird info to just volunteer.
Yasmine: I thought so too.
Girls, is there some reason you don't want to go to school?
I'm assuming that's where this is going.
Rebecca: Nah. Bethany: No. Dylan: Yes. Yes.
Yasmine: OK, which one is it, no or yes?
Rebecca and Bethany: No. Dylan: Yes.
Yasmine: OK, what's going on here?
Dylan: Tell Auntie Yaz, Rebecca, or I'm gonna tell her.
Yasmine: Tell me what?
Rebecca: Dylan, this is private.
Dylan: Becca's getting straight roasted on the web, yo.
Yasmine: She what?
Rebecca: I'm getting bullied online.
See?
Yasmine: Oh, honey.
They shouldn't be saying these things about you online.
Rebecca: I know that.
Myles: I don't believe this. I...
Yasmine: Oh, good, you were listening.
Charlie: Come on. Come on. Yasmine: You were listening.
Figures. I don't like this.
I'm talking to your principal.
Dylan: Yeah! Get it, auntie Yaz!
Rebecca: No, Mom, please!
Yasmine: I'm talking to him.
Dylan: Walk right up to that school,
get old Principal M. to do the right thing.
Rebecca: That will only make it worse.
Yasmine: I will talk to him privately.
Rebecca: That won't help!
Yasmine: What do you want me to do?
Rebecca: Let's move to Zimbabwe.
Don't you want to work with kids in Africa?
Yasmine: I am setting up a meeting with him for tomorrow.
Rebecca: No, Mom, please!
Myles: Ohh! Come on.
Charlie: After all that, we lost?
Myles: What?
Did I miss something?
Come on.
OK.
Myles: What's the matter?
Yasmine: While you're watching football,
your daughter's getting cyberbullied.
Myles: Our daughter?
Not time for a joke?
Yasmine: No, Myles, this is serious.
Rebecca: No, Mom, please don't.
Yasmine: Baby, hand me your phone.
Rebecca: Uh...
Thanks a lot, Dylan!
Dylan: Becks, your plan was to hide from this.
Let your folks handle their business.
Charlie: Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know
you were getting picked on, Rebecca.
Are you OK?
Rebecca: I'm fine.
Dylan, deep voice: And what about you, baby?
You a'ight?
Bethany: Oh, Dylan.
Dylan: Ow!
Myles: Oh! Oh, oh, no, they didn't.
No, no. A purple...
Oh, well, that one's true. That one--that's...
Nah, I'm just saying. Nah, nah, that's my girl.
That's my baby girl. No, that's wrong.
This is--what in the world?
Rebecca: That's what the kids are saying
about Rebecca and Bethany.
Myles: I'm sorry I joked.
Yasmine: You should be.
Dylan: I need some ice, yo.
Yasmine: Uh, what are you doing?
Myles: I'm getting back at them, yeah.
Whatever they can say, I can say it worse.
Yasmine: Don't do that!
Dylan: Ooh! That's cold.
A good cold, though. It's a good cold.
Yasmine: Myles...
Myles: No, no, no. These trolls,
these little trolls, they need to learn a lesson.
Yasmine: That's not a good idea.
Myles: And your mama...whatever.
Yasmine: Myles, stop.
Dylan: Yo, man.
[groans] You need some help dissing the trolls?
I got you, fam.
- ♪
Dylan: Ooh. Myles: Ooh.
Oh! Oh!
Dylan: Oh! This one will really hit him.
Myles: Wow! Ho ho ho.
Dylan: Yo. Myles: That's great!
How do you come up with this stuff?
Dylan: I told you, Dylo was all about the dark side.
Feel me?
Myles: I'm sorry I ever doubted you...Dylo.
Dylan: Yeah. Myles: Yasmine. Hide. That's Yasmine.
Yasmine: Are you coming to bed?
Myles: Yep. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, honey. I'm coming.
Look, it's these trolls, these little trolls.
[chuckles] Look at this one. He's begging me to stop.
Yasmine: Babe, you shouldn't do that.
Myles: Uh-huh. Yasmine: What'd you say?
Hit 'em with a tooth?
What does that mean? Myles: Uh-huh.
Dylan: I said, "Hit 'em with a shoe."
Yasmine: Come on out.
Dylan: [groans]
Yasmine: You're helping him with his insults?
Myles: He's really good at it.
Yasmine: I'm glad he got it wrong.
You shouldn't be hitting kids with shoes anyway.
Dylan: It's a dance.
When you stuntin' on 'em, you hit 'em with the shoe.
Yasmine: Oh. OK. OK. OK, OK.
But it's past your bedtime,
and Myles, come on, he's .
Myles: Yeah, but they be trying me, Yasmine.
See?
Yasmine: [gasps]
Myles: Baby, people think they can say anything
when they are anonymous.
Yasmine: Oh, but you're not.
You're logged in.
Myles: What? Dylan: What?
Myles: So they all know this is from me?
Dylan: Looks like it.
Myles: Oh, no.
Yasmine: What else did you say?
Myles!
Dylan: Oh, no, I didn't tell him to say that one, auntie Yaz.
That was all your boy.
Yasmine: Oh, my gosh.
Myles: Too many exclamation points?
[lockers slamming]
You think they know it was me?
Yasmine: No, honey, not at all.
Myles: What's wrong with y'all?
Principal Matthews: Good morning, Mrs. Wilson.
Mr. Wilson!
Yasmine: Principal Matthews,
I appreciate you setting up this meeting.
We need to talk to you about the online bullying
my daughter and her friend are receiving.
Dylan: There you go, Auntie. Get him. Get him! Get him!
Myles: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, you got this.
I'm gonna see y'all later. Principal Matthews: No, sir.
Can you come into this classroom, Mr. Wilson?
- I'm just gonna... - [clears throat]
Dylan: Busted!
Myles: This way?
Mr. Callow: There he is.
Woman: What kind of parent are you?
Second Woman: My child has not slept all night.
Man: What is, "Hit them with a tooth"?
Principal Matthews: Hold on, hold on.
Yasmine: Well, honey, you wanted to do it online,
do it now.
Principal Matthews: Is there something you'd like
to share with the group?
Myles: Yes. Yes, there is.
First I'd like to thank my wife, the bus driver.
It's funny, you know, how outraged
you all are about what I said to your kids,
but what about the things that your kids
said to my precious daughter, huh?
Hmm? Come here, it's OK. Shh.
Mr. Callow: They are .
Myles: I don't care. It hurt her.
Mr. Callow: I have a problem with what you said to our kids.
Myles: I'm not talking about some printout
showing what I said until you read what your kids said.
Mr. Callow: We're talking about you.
Myles: What are you afraid of, Mr. Callow?
Mr. Callow: [laughs] I'm not afraid of anything.
Myles: Then read what your kids wrote.
Mr. Callow: Did you send this to her?
Dylan: Yep!
He sho' did send it to her.
Shame on him!
Man: Oh, these are awful.
Myles: You think?
Look, I'm glad we all realize it.
You know, so my point is in all of this
is that we all have to monitor what are kids
are saying to one another.
Yasmine: We know that we want them to have some privacy.
But we have to set the ground rules
in order for them to have that privacy.
Mr. Callow: Uh, here.
Please take this from all of us.
Myles: So your kids wrote an apology?
Before all this?
Mr. Callow: It was the right thing to do.
Dylan: So there you have it.
[clears throat]
[deep voice] We will all respect each other always.
Unless you got to hit 'em with the shoe.
You see me, Bethany?
Come on. Come on.
Myles: All right, thank-- Dylan, Dylan, thank you.
Shoo. Shoo.
Shoo. I'll take it from here.
Look, it's easy to do what's right
when you're in front of people or when people are watching.
The true test of character is what you do
when no one is watching
or when you think you're being anonymous in cyberspace.
Principal Matthews: Well, looks like this is a teachable moment
for both parents and students.
Myles: And principals.
I mean, yes, it is. Yes, it is.
Principal Matthews: Mr. Wilson, you have made your point.
Myles: [mumbles] Yasmine: OK, come on, let's go.
Myles: Done told you I was-- Yasmine: Oh, my gosh.
Rebecca: Thank you, Daddy. I was gonna hide from this.
Thank you for teaching me to stand up.
Myles: You're welcome, baby girl.
Bethany: Thanks, Mr. Wilson.
Dylan: Yeah, come on, let's go.
Come on!
Rebecca: That's sweet of them to apologize,
but it still hurts a little.
Myles: Baby, I know.
But I'm sure with time, it'll heal.
Yasmine: And let that note be a reminder
that people can overcome their demons.
Dylan: [groaning]
Myles: Hey, Dylan. Dylan: Ahh.
Myles: What happened to you?
Rebecca: Bethany step on your foot...again?
Dylan: No. When I was at school,
I hit 'em with the shoe so hard
that I--I stubbed my toe on a desk, yo.
Yasmine: Let that be a reminder that v*olence
is never the answer.
Out there hitting people with shoes.
Rebecca: Yeah! Yeah!
Dylan: Oh!
Myles: Don't hit me with the shoe.
Don't hit me!