- Ugh! The neighbors have been doing construction
every day for the past week.
They started so early, they woke me up this morning.
And, I was having the best dream.
- No one wants to hear about you doing yoga
with a goat that looks like Idris Elba.
- Yeah, Mom, we've heard about it a thousand times already.
- First off, it wasn't a goat that looked like Idris,
it was Idris, and we were doing goat yoga.
- And would it k*ll the neighbors
to show a little respect?
- Mom, are you sure you're not just jealous
because they're putting in a brand-new pool,
and we're not? - [chuckling] I'm not jealous.
- No offense, Mrs. Wilson,
but you sound like a peanut butter and jelly sandwich,
hold the peanut butter.
- I will have you know,
there is no jelly in this sandwich.
- Fine! You're darn tootin' I'm jealous.
I want a lap pool!
- Look, we'd love to help you with your pool envy,
but we're kind of in the middle of something.
- What are you guys doing?
- We found some of Grandma Queen Esther's old recipes,
and we're trying to make her banana pudding,
but this recipe is kind of confusing.
- "Use a touch of zest."
How much is a touch, and what the heck is zest?
- "Put a thingy of cream in that pot."
What's a thingy,
and what pot is she talking about?
- It can't be that bad, let me see.
[clearing throat]
"Use the brown eggs from the white hen,
not the white eggs from the brown hen."
- Does that make any sense to you?
- Why are you making this anyway?
- Pearce Gabriel is having a party this weekend,
and we're all invited.
- He's one of the most popular boys in our school,
and his party is going to be everything.
- You don't show up to a swanky party like that empty handed,
that's a big no-no.
- Coming through!
- YASMINE: Oh! - DYLAN: Watch out!
- Dylan, Booder, what is all this?
- I'm directing Dylan's music video.
- A music video? - Yep, Mommy Yas,
every cloud rapper has to have a fire video on the internet,
and since I'm a star, it's time I have one, too.
- Statistically speaking,
a music video would improve Young Dylan's fan base,
thus increasing the likelihood of him blowing up by %.
- Yeah, what he said.
- You can't argue with statistics.
- I mean, you could, but [laughing].
- Anyway, I'm debuting a video at Pearce's party,
and if any of you guys wanna be famous, too,
you can be in my video. - Might as well
because all Grandma's Bangin' Banana Pudding is giving me,
is a banging headache.
- Quitters!
- Hey, honey, come here. Okay, so, you know how
I'm always watching those antique auction shows?
- I know you watched it for the first time yesterday,
and won't stop talking about it.
- Uh, yeah, that one, anyway, I went to a garrrage sale.
[chuckling]
That's how the fancy people on the show pronounce it,
yeah, yeah. Anyway, look what I found.
Ooh! - Hmm!
- Okay, so, this is a turn of the century
Etruscan clay vase from Italy, made by blind holy men.
- And since it's in pristine condition, you know,
it's worth a small fortune.
- This tacky old thing?
- Don't put your breath on my vase!
- Well, if it's so valuable,
why can't you wear it around your neck or wrist?
- The point is -- [clearing throat]
all those hours of me watching that --
- Again, just one hour.
- MYLES: Whatever [chuckling]. I mean, really paid off.
I mean, I -- I got this thing
for practically a steal, you know?
- How much exactly? - I know right [snickering]?
- Uh, Myles, what did it cost? - [chuckling] Exactly.
- Come on. - Ooh!
- Myles? - Okay, okay, okay, okay.
[whispering]
- What!? - Mm-hm.
- [laughing] - Yeah, right, okay, alright.
- * There once was a kid from the city of Chi *
* Ma knew I was important, not a regular guy *
* Everybody follow me Imma take you on a trip *
* Buckle up, let's go, Imma get you all hip *
* I'm a star
* Came up from a block in Chi-town *
* Livin' large
* I'm tryna balance school and these bars *
* Came far -- ain't no better feelin' *
* I tell 'em you gon' love Young Dylan *
* Ay Young Dylan, ay * Young Dylan Young Dylan
* Ay Young Dylan * Dyl, Dyl, Dyl
* I tell 'em you gon' love Young Dylan *
- *
- Boy, you still trying to figure out
Grandma Queen Esther's recipes? - These aren't recipes,
these are the scribblings of someone who's cray.
Luckily, I speak cray. I'm cray all day.
- That's not a compliment. - It's not, not a compliment.
- Yes, it's not. Mm...
Okay, dang it, now you got me sounding cray.
- *
- Don't be too disappointed if you can't figure it out.
- *
- What? - I said, don't be -- don't --
- *
- Turn down the music!
- *
- Turn down the music!
- *
- I said, turn down this music!
- *
- [turns off music] - [jackhammering in background]
- Hey! - Hey!
- It's almost as bad as the jackhammering.
- Alright, look, guys,
you're gonna have to go finish sh**ting your music video
in the garage. - But we need the space,
and Booder says the lighting is better in here.
It makes these cheekbones pop.
- Mm, right.
- And I can't risk sacrificing my artistic vision.
I can't and I won't.
- Okay, you can, and you will [chuckling].
Baby, artistic vision, gon' tell --
- Who turned my Etruscan vase around?
Doesn't go like this, guys,
suppose to go like this, like -- [shrieks].
- [shrieking]
Who, eh, who -- who chipped my Etruscan vase?
Who did this?
- It wasn't me. - It wasn't me, I was --
- Who -- oh, no, no, no. - [cross talking]
- Oh, no, no, no, hey, hey, hey, hey,
hey, hey, somebody did this, okay?
[stuttering] Som-- som-- som [wheezing]
somebody chipped my vase.
- Nobody chipped that old vase, dang, nobody went near that --
Somebody did it!
- And somebody is going down today.
- *
- Yo, I've never saw Uncle Myles that mad before,
and I've done a lot of things to make him mad.
- I know,
I've never seen someone's ear vein bulge out before.
- They said they wanted to talk to us one at a time,
what's taking them so long?
- I don't know, but what I do know is,
whoever chipped that old vase needs to come clean.
- Agreed. - Absolutely.
- [gasping]
- You!
- *
- They broke me, it was terrible.
I spilled the beans, man.
And I was so nervous, I also cut the cheese.
- I spilled the beans and cut the cheese.
- We get it!
But what's important is that you came correct,
and told them it was you.
- No, I didn't, I didn't break the vase.
- Then what beans did you spill?
- I -- I told them how you pretend to go to bed,
but you stay up texting on your phone with Bethany.
- Charlie! - CHARLIE: And -- and,
I told them how you haven't brushed your teeth in weeks.
- You snitched on me, ugh!
- You weren't in there,
you don't know what it was like.
But you will, because they're coming for you,
both of you.
- [gasping]
- You're next.
Let's go, M.C. Cavity.
- [screaming]
- *
- We've been sitting here for a minute now,
are you gonna say something?
- Okay, maybe, you want me to say something?
- [screaming] Okay, okay!
[screaming] I'll say something, if that's okay with y'all?
- Yeah, why don't you start?
- I just wanna say that I had nothing,
and I mean nothing to do with this.
- Okay.
- Okay?
- Yeah, okay. - Cool.
Okay, like, you believe me, or okay, I'm in trouble?
- Okay.
- Gee, you know, I mean, I don't normally snitch,
but I could tell you a few things
about Becca and Charles.
- Okay.
- DYLAN: So, Rebecca,
she's definitely not who you think she is,
like, [speaking gibberish].
- Like, I said, I don't know anything.
- Phone?
- Wha -- what are you doing with my phone?
- MYLES: Hmm, oh, oh, oh.
- Charlie has just been turning his underwear inside out
and putting it back on,
so he doesn't have to be told to pick up his dirty clothes.
[wheezing]
- Is that it? - Yeah, yeah, I think so, yeah.
- So, you're sticking with you didn't break the vase?
- I -- I didn't, I promise.
You guys believe me, don't you?
- Oh! - [screaming]
[screaming]
- So, none of us came correct to admitting breaking the vase,
but we all snitched on other things?
- Yep. - Sounds right.
- Honey [snickering],
you know, we've been feeding,
caring for, housing a bunch of lying children.
- I can barely look at 'em. - [snickering]
- Uncle Myles -- - You had your turn!
- Since nobody's willing to fess up,
none of you are going to Pearce Gabriel's party later.
- What! - You can't do this!
- I demand a new trial!
- I wish they'd give me my phone back.
- *
- *
- Rebecca, why didn't you tell them the truth?
- I did tell the truth, I didn't do it.
Why didn't you? - Because I didn't do it.
- Well, neither did I. The only good thing
since I couldn't make the banana pudding,
I won't be showing up to the party empty handed.
- Psst!
- What's up?
- I know a way for us to still go to the party.
- Lay it on me.
- We have to pin this on Charlie.
- What, no way, that's not cool.
- Not going to the party of the year is not cool.
- Uh-uh! - Okay, forget I said anything.
[inaudible speech]
- Hey, what are you guys talking about?
- Nothing, just talking about what happened
when you and Booder definitely broke Dad's vase.
- Wait, so you're gonna team up,
and lie so you can go to the party?
- I don't know, does this sound like a lie?
- *
- Yo, yo, yo, I'm Young Dylan, I say my name a lot.
- Dylan, please, can't you see I'm trying to study
to be the first astronaut/president?
- Young Dylan don't care!
Check out my new blingy bling-bling.
- Is that our dear father's vase?
- It was.
- Shame on you, shame, I say.
- My blinga bling-bling, blinga bling-bling,
bling-bling, bling-bling, ah, I'm Young Dylan, remember that.
Ah, ah, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,
ah, whoo, ah, ah, ah.
- [thump]
- Oh!
- I hope I can become president one day,
so I can pardon you.
- *
- Yes, it sounds like a lie.
Chuckles, you still going to roll with this?
- Sorry, Dylan, I just really want to go to that party.
- Chuckles? - Okay, fine, you're right.
Mom and Dad would never believe that story.
- Exactly!
- But they might believe this one.
- *
- Guys, be careful, you're gonna break Dad's vase.
- Forget vases, like lame faces, I'm going to better places.
Look at Myles, he's tasteless.
- So, what you gonna do, I said it straight to you,
and it's not just me, Booder don't like you, too!
- Uh-huh!
- *
- [screaming]
- Chuckles, you still blamed me.
- Yes, but I also blamed Rebecca and Booder.
You're welcome.
- I actually did see you looking at that vase earlier, Charlie.
- You did? What's up?
- Grandma Queen Esther's recipe said
to pour some milk into a thingy.
I was just looking to see if the vase was thingy enough,
but I didn't touch it, I swear. - [phone dinging]
- Bethany just sent me some pictures from the party.
It started already, and we're missing it.
What are we gonna do?
- We aren't gonna do anything,
I'm gonna do something.
- *
- Uh-uh-uh, take a seat.
- *
- How'd you get your phone back?
- You think I only have one phone?
Amateur.
- *
- [crying] I can't have nothing nice.
- I know, baby, I know.
- My vase don' chipped a tooth. - [knocking]
- Myles? - [deep exhale]
- Um, I have to say something.
- Yeah, what is it?
- You don't have to punish my cuz-o's.
Let them go to Pearce Gabriel's party.
- Oh, yeah? Why should we?
- Because I'm the one who broke the vase.
- I knew one of y'all did it.
- Thank you for telling the truth, finally.
- Oh, yes, yes, thank you, thank you for telling the truth.
- Mm-hm. - Finally.
Now, I'd like to know everything that happened,
and when I say everything, I mean everything.
Spare no details.
- Okay. - MYLES: Mm-hm.
- Um. - MYLES: Hm.
- Yeah. - MYLES: Mm-hm.
- Um. - MYLES: Spill it!
Please?
- *
- I'm Young, oh, ah, ah, Young Dyl-o.
Ah, ah, ahhhhh! - [knock at door]
- *
- It has my name on it!
- Best almost finished hip-hop video award
goes to Young Dylan!
- *
- Oh!
Thank you, thank you, ahhh.
Thank you, caption this.
Turn me up, oh, oh, thank you, thank you.
Ah, I know just where to put it.
We did it, Mama!
Oh no!
[gasping] Oh, snap, I chipped it!
Ah, phew!
I'm sorry, Unc, it was an accident.
I was being careless. - Dylan, you do realize
that lying is just as bad as committing the crime?
- That's my story, and I'm sticking to it.
- Dylan, you don't have to cover for your cousins.
Just blink once if it was the boy,
twice if it was the girl.
- I did it, okay?
So, Charlie and Rebecca should get to go to the party
before it ends.
- You sure that's what you wanna do?
- It is.
- Okay, okay.
- *
**
- Charlie, Rebecca, guess you two can go to the party.
- Yes!
- But, Dylan, Dylan is grounded for --
- [jackhammering]
- No, no, wait a second!
No, no, no, no, no, no, yo, yo!
- [crashing sound]
- Somebody get me a hundred cc's of glue, stat!
- It's gone.
- No! - It's gone, baby, it's gone.
- No!
- Wait, so none of us did it,
it was the jackhammer the whole time.
So, why did you say you did it when you knew you hadn't?
Did you know that me and Charlie
had anything to do with it?
- Nah, I figured one of you had something to do with it,
most def.
- Then why did you take the blame?
- Because I'm Young Dylan, it's what I do.
- That's sweet. - Thanks, Dylan.
- It's what fam does. Plus, I'm gonna be a superstar,
do you know how many sick parties
I'm gonna go to in my life?
I can miss this one, but you normals can't afford to.
- That makes more sense. - You know what else fam does?
Tells the truth, you can tell us anything, okay?
And that goes for all of you,
you don't have to lie to us for any reason, get it?
- Got it. - Good.
- So, does this mean we can all go to the party?
- I guess it does. - ALL: Yes!
- Alright, you guys go wait outside, I'll drop you off.
[sighs]
- Oh, can we stop off at the store
to get some banana pudding? Can't show up empty handed.
- Sure.
- Also could you pay for it? I'm a little light this week.
- That's your son. - [laughing]
- That's your son.
- *
- Yeah. - Sweetie?
- Yeah? - Are you still at it?
- Yep, almost finished.
See, I read that even if it's not in...
perfect condition,
it'll still fetch a pretty penny.
- Wow! It looks completely fixed.
- Hey, I wasn't going to let, uh, three hours of gluing
and a few hand cramps get in my way, you know?
- YASMINE: Oh!
- Excuse me, I'm gonna go soak these puppies.
- [screaming]
- MYLES: [crying]
Why can't I have anything nice?
- *
- [crying]
- [Nickelodeon theme]