- ♪
- DYLAN: Yo, Charlie.
You really need to hear this new rhyme I've been working on.
It's gonna rock the whole school.
You're doing the Weasel Scouts again?
- Not weasel, Squirrel Scouts! Paw salute!
- Yo, man, don't do that! People might actually see you.
- Good, because Squirrel Scouts
are honorable, thrifty, helpful and prepared!
- And that's the best way for you to not eat at
the cool table during lunch.
- Come on, Dylan, Squirrel Scouts are cool.
We learn to prepare for any situation in life
and have fun doing it. I have badges in jelly making,
lawn care and closet organizing.
- Sounds like somebody needed you to make them
a sandwich and do their chores.
- My old Scoutmaster did like to eat,
and I did make his lawn nice, but he moved away,
and now my dad's a substitute scoutmaster.
All the dads are pitching in to help.
- Kids from the Chi don't need no Squirrel Scouts.
We got street smarts. If they gave away badges for that,
I would have plenty,
like "How to not get hustled" or "What sewers to avoid"
"because evil clowns live in them."
- Scoutmaster Myles reporting for duty, sir!
- No, you have to make a paw, not a claw!
- Sorry, my first time being a Scoutmaster, sir! Paw Salute!
Since it's my first time,
you don't want to make it your first time, Dylan?
- Nah, I'm good.
These rhymes ain't gonna write themselves.
I'm using this weekend to tighten up my lyrics.
My fans demand it. - Well, your loss.
We're gonna have some crazy Squirrel Scouting fun.
Paw salute! Squirrel dance!
- Nah, I'm good.
[Dylan screaming] Zombies in the house!
- Oh, zombies in the house, hey! Hey, zombies in the house!
Zombies in the house!
- Dylan, it's just a seaweed mask.
- Why do you want to look like a sushi?
- Rebecca and I are having a spa weekend full of facials,
manis and pedis, fancy spa water and finger sandwiches.
We're gonna have the house all to ourselves.
- What do you mean, all to yourself? I'm here.
- Uh, not during the day, you're not.
No boys allowed in the house all weekend.
You have your studio now, so you can hang out there,
and with how busy I am,
I haven't had any time with Rebecca,
so I'm looking forward to bonding with her.
- Well, makes for the perfect weekend
for Charlie and I to work on his merit badges.
- I'm glad I got street smarts because I don't know
what I would do if I had to wear that fashion-backward uniform
or sushi on my face.
Sometimes I think you're just trying to get me
to move back to the Chi.
- Zombies in the house! Oh, oh, zombies in the house!
- ♪ There once was a kid from the city of Chi ♪
♪ Ma knew I was important, not a regular guy ♪
♪ Everybody follow me I'ma take you on a trip ♪
♪ Buckle up, let's go I'ma get you all hip ♪
♪ I'm a star Came up from a block in Chi-Town ♪
♪ Livin' large I'm tryin' to balance school and these bars ♪
♪ Came far Ain't no better feeling ♪
♪ I tell 'em you gon' love Young Dylan ♪
♪ Young Dylan, Young Dylan, Young Dylan ♪
♪ I tell em you gon' love Young Dylan ♪♪
- ♪
- ♪ I ain't goofy like them cats ♪
♪ Shoes hanging out the window while the roof is moving back ♪
♪ Anything I'm saying, you can bet I'm doing that ♪
Yeah. Yo!
- What's up?
- If you guys are working on a merit badge
for bothering people, you two sure deserve it.
- Okay, relax, MC Grumpy, all right?
Charlie and I, we've gotta work in here today
because the sprinklers flooded the backyard,
and it's way too muddy
to do any work out there without slipping, you know?
- It also gives you a chance
to see what being a Squirrel Scout is all about.
- And let me show you what street smarts is all about.
- Can I see that for a second? Thanks.
- Wait, what are you doing, huh?
- Hey, hey, look, I'm sorry, Dylan.
It's a no tech allowed day.
See, one of Charlie's merit badges is
"disconnecting tech and reconnect with
"family and nature,"
so having a laptop around is just too tempting.
- He gets me.
- But my laptop is full of my rhymes!
- Here.
Here's a laptop from back in my day.
- This is just a notebook. - Exactly, just a notebook.
All right, let me run this inside
and then we can get to work. - Oh, is this a test?
Okay, I got street smarts, I know how to switch it up.
You can't faze me, Unc! - YASMINE: You know the rules!
No boys in the house! Have you lost your mind?
Don't you try and ruin our weekend!
- MYLES: Whoo!
Man, one thing the Squirrel Scouts
won't teach you, it's happy wife, happy life.
Don't forget that. - And how about,
"Happy Dylan makes all our lives worth living."
- Okay, look,
I know we're interrupting your flow, okay,
but, uh, look, you know, why don't you--
Why don't you use some of your street smarts
to help us out, huh? All right, then once the grass dries,
we can be out of your hair. - Okay, I can do that.
Let me show you what street smarts is all about.
- All right, all right.
Now, Charlie, what's next on the merit badge agenda?
- We can work on my First Aid badge.
- Hmm. - First Aid?
Man, that's easy.
All right, so, street smarts tells you,
if you can walk, you're good.
If you can't, call a doctor.
There you go. There goes your First Aid badge.
Next!
- All right, all right, slow down, slow down.
Let's see what the manual says, all right?
- My "Nuts of Wisdom" manual says First Aid is all about
recognizing injuries and treating them
until help arrives.
- Oh, so you want fancy First Aid.
- MYLES: Oh, you know what, Charlie, very good!
All right, see, one of my jobs as Scoutmaster
is to evaluate Charlie's skills without reading the manual.
Yeah, not bad, not bad.
Oh, all right, I'll tell you what.
Dylan, how about you and I, let's pretend to be injured,
all right, and if Charlie diagnoses us correctly,
then he gets a merit badge.
- Okay, but if we're doing this, we're doing it like it's real.
- Okay.
- I need to have a backstory, like, how did I get injured?
- Okay, uh, Dwayne Johnson, what's your backstory?
- Okay.
Uh-huh, uh-huh.
Oh, I got it!
So, it's late at night,
and I see out of my limo... - Your limo?
- I just finished doing my concert,
and I'm ready to go home.
And then I see Beyoncé getting mauled on the street.
- Okay, wait, so Beyoncé is out at night by herself?
- It's my backstory, man.
So I jump out the limo
and yell, "I'll save you, boo!"
And then I rush the attackers.
[Dylan grunting]
What? I had to save Beyoncé.
- Great. We're locked in.
- We're stuck?
Who puts boxes next to the back door?
- Who fights imaginary muggers for Beyoncé?
Who shouldn't be out at night alone. Why?
Because she got bodyguards!
- It's my backstory, that's my own imagination!
- I don't care about your backstory!
- Guys, guys! Arguing isn't going to help.
- Look, you know what? Everybody calm down.
We're gonna be okay.
All we gotta do is, uh, scream out for the girls,
you know, and they'll, they'll come running,
and they'll save us. Girls!
- Help!
- ALL: [indistinct screaming]
- Okay, wait, you know what? I forgot.
We soundproofed the garage so that, you know,
we wouldn't be disturbed when-- uh, what I meant to say was,
soundproofed the garage so we wouldn't disturb you
while you were making your dope beats, yeah.
- Guys, guys, we're okay.
My "Nuts of Wisdom" manual says in case of an emergency,
like this, we just have to wait, help will come.
Trust me. - Yeah, Charlie's right.
Just gotta, you know, just gotta relax.
Help will come.
[sobbing] Get me out of here!
[sobbing] Get me outta here!
I don't care what the manual says!
It's been six minutes, okay?
The darkness is coming.
The walls are tightening in!
Oh, Charlie, they're squishing me!
Charlie, please help me. Don't let them squish me.
- Okay, here's our facial station,
our moisturizing station, and of course,
our eyebrow station.
Our massage area with the foot spa area,
and of course, we can't forget...
[imitating fanfare]
Fancy spa water.
I love how just adding cucumber
and lemon makes this so fancy.
- Oh, look at this!
A regular sandwich, but I'm gonna cut them up
into tiny little squares. We have...
Fancy finger sandwiches. - Oh, you so fancy!
- No, you so fancy. - No, you so fancy.
- No, you so fancy. - Okay, okay, we both so fancy.
[squealing]
So, here's our plan.
We'll do our facial while we use the massage area
and the foot spa I bought. We'll do our mani and pedis
while we binge watch "Forbidden Space Love,"
the only reality love show in space.
- Ooh, I can't wait.
I really feel think the Japanese and Kenyan astronauts
have sparks between them.
- Ooh, here's some history for our spa day.
Did you know that in the late s,
there was a black samurai in Japan from Mozambique?
That is very close to Kenya.
- VIOLA: Is this a history class or spa day?
- Viola? What are you doing here?
- I'm here for spa day! What y'all got to eat?
- How did she know about spa day?
- I invited her.
I thought that since this was about bonding,
maybe me and Grandma could bond, too.
- Ah, see y'all got some fancy sandwiches and water.
Well, I didn't come empty-handed.
I bought some fancy spa towels.
- These are just paper towels. And they're almost gone.
- They got flower designs on them.
That makes them fancy spa towels.
What y'all watching?
Oh, reality love shows, huh?
How about we watch some wrestling?
[chuckling]
Come on in here, Rebecca!
Join me with this massage and foot spa,
and let's watch some wrestling.
- ♪
- So, Unc, if you can boost me up,
I can up and out through that roof window.
Unc!
If you can boost me up, I can go up and--
- It's called a skylight, Dylan. It's not a roof window, okay?
It's too high. It's not safe.
[sighing]
Okay, I'll do it. I'll do it, but I'm gonna use
this window right here.
- Dad, we should do like the manual says and stay put.
- Listen, son, I am sure that
the Squirrels Scouts are very wise, okay,
but Daddy does not do well in tight cooped-up spaces, okay,
so the streets win out on this one.
[grunting] All right, just gotta...
Yep, hold that. All right, stand back.
[shouting]
All right, a little help.
Just wanna give me a little boost.
You get under that one. - Uh, Dad?
- Yep? - I don't think you can fit.
- Ha-ha, yeah.
You need to cut back on those late night cookies.
- How do you know about that? Never mind, just push.
Boost, boost, boost.
[grunting]
- [Dylan grunting]
Unc, try to scream for help so they can hear you!
- A little help? A little help?
- Okay, all right. - All right, grab a leg.
We'll yank him down.
- But, the manual said in a situation like this,
we still have to wait and help will come--
- Oh, remember, street smarts?
Okay. One,
two, three! - --two, three.
- ALL: [grunting]
- So fancy. - No, you so fancy.
- You all right over there, Yasmine?
- I'm fine.
I mean, who wouldn't to watch loud wrestling matches
to help them relax for spa day? - I know, right?
- Mom, thanks for letting Grandma use
the last diamond mask.
I know you only had enough for two.
- Mm-hmm.
Anything for you... on our bonding weekend.
- Grandma, I love these wrestling matches,
but do you think we can switch it up and watch something else?
- Well, it is an all-day marathon.
What say we watch two more hours
and then make a decision, okay?
- Okay. - That's my girl!
Pink? You should use green.
- Viola, Rebecca likes pink. - Pink is more my color.
- Green is the color of money and success.
I want my grandbaby to be all about success.
Can't the wisdom of a grandmother
get a little respect? - Fine.
I'll use the green. - VIOLA: That's my girl!
Then after you finish your nails,
Grandma's gonna make some liver and onions for dinner.
It's a perfect food for your skin and hair.
How do you think Grandma keeps this youthful glow?
- Um, Mom? Can you help me in the kitchen?
- Yeah.
- Okay, maybe I made the wrong decision
about inviting Grandma. She's taken over spa day
and now she's trying to feed me liver and onions!
Yuck, gross!
- Don't worry, baby, your mother has had enough!
I'm taking spa day back.
- ♪
- ALL: [grunting]
- Ow!
Ow. I'm okay.
[groaning]
Ow! [groaning]
I fell on my arm. [chuckling]. Funny.
- Yeah, that was pretty funny.
What? I was just agreeing.
- Ow, ow, ow, ow.
Ow! [groaning]
[groaning]
- I think you might have dislocated your shoulder, Dad.
I remember reading something about that in the manual.
I could fix it. I just have to get--
- No, no, no, no, no, it's not dislocated,
it's just probably sprained. See? Watch.
I can--ow.
I can--[groaning]
Ow, okay, maybe the manual's right.
But for now, let's just figure out how to get out of here.
And I'll deal with this pain later.
The pain, the pain!
Ow! Ow!
It's like tiny demons are inside of my shoulder. Pinching.
Charlie, please make them stop pinching it, please?
- Unc, it's only been like a minute.
- That's a whole seconds!
- This is bad. Unc is in pain.
What does your notebook say we should do?
- My manual says we have to get his shoulder back into
the socket to stop the pain. - But how?
He's not even letting us touch it.
- I got an idea, but you'll have to finally listen to me.
- Okay.
Okay. Hey, Unc?
- Yeah?
- You think if I run fast at the door
and do a flying karate kick, I'll bust it down?
- Uh, no, Dylan, I do not, Dylan, stop.
Look, hey, hey, Dylan, hey, hey, hey, it's--
[screaming]-- do that 'cause--
Ow.
Hey. Hey!
Wow, Charlie, I-- I think that worked.
The pain is almost gone. - Wow, Charlie!
I can't believe your notebook-- I mean, manual taught you that.
- Yep, the pain is gone
because the muscles aren't being stretched any more,
but we need to stabilize it. We'll use our handkerchiefs.
- DYLAN: Not bad, cuzzo,
but what now? We're still stuck.
- Yeah, you're right, and it still might be a while
before the girls figure out we're missing.
- The manual said to wait until help arrives,
but I have some things to make the wait a little easier.
- Viola, I'm sorry, I just realized
that we totally forgot that we have to wash
our neighbor's pet. Spa day is officially canceled.
- Canceled? - Yes.
It got dirty, and the neighbors asked
if we could wash it before they get back from vacation,
so we have to go now before they get home.
- Well, what kind of pet is it? - Goldfish!
- How do you wash a goldfish?
- Very carefully!
Getting them in the tiny fish tub
is very difficult.
That's why I have to have Rebecca.
It's like surgery.
- Well, I have to say,
it was great as long as it lasted.
You two have made an old woman very happy.
I never got a chance
to bond with Myles and his sister like this,
what with me working all the time,
but spending time with you and Rebecca today
has been very special.
Thank you.
- Viola, wait. The fish can wait.
We'll do it tomorrow. - Really?
- Yeah. - Yeah, Grandma.
And you can paint my nails green now.
- You know what? After we paint Rebecca's nails,
maybe we should paint yours brown
so people won't see how dirty they are.
- ♪
- Yo, Charlie, I gotta give it to you.
The Squirrel Scouts don't play. Camping here all night was fun,
and you guys are ready for anything.
How did you know to put food in here?
- I have snack kits everywhere: in the house, in the backyard,
even in the trees.
Well, I did have some in a tree, but real squirrels ate them.
- Well, I gotta give it to you, Snacks.
I'm proud of you.
You really came through when it counted.
Come here.
All right, I, Myles, Squirrel Scoutmaster,
hereby bestow upon you
your First Aid merit badge,
your Emergency
Preparedness merit badge,
your Camp Making merit badge,
and last but not least,
your Best Son Ever merit badge.
The last one was made up, but it's the best one.
- Thanks, Dad.
- YASMINE: There you are! - Oh, here she comes now.
- What happened to your arm?
- [moaning]
- Oh, are you okay? - Yes, yes, thanks to my son.
- DYLAN: Yeah, Charlie stepped up
and got us through it. Paw Salute!
- Paw Salute. - Squirrel Dance!
- Squirrel Dance!
- You so fancy. - No, you so fancy.
- DYLAN: Hey, guys, come on, let me in!
I need my studio to work on my rhymes!
- No, not today. - Yeah, no boys allowed.
- ♪
- [Nickelodeon theme song plays]