01x07 - Cruisin' For Bruisin'

[bunniefuu]

She doesn't want to be bothered

by any lowlife, dirty greasers.

Hey, we're housebroken.

♪ The T-Birds are
running the new school ♪

Betty Rizzo, meet your new best friend.

What happened to your jacket?

It's at the mind your
own business bureau.

You should visit.

No, thanks. I'm still
enjoying the view here.

Whom Romeo's hands did slay.

We are going to rule
the school this year.

Um... we?

I was going to give
you my jacket tonight.

I don't want your jacket!

[DRAMATIC MUSIC]

Surprised he showed up.

He's in a state since Halloween.

[T-BIRDS LAUGHING]

My dad, he's running
for mayor next year,

and he wants us to be
a family of leaders.

I can't let him down.

Rydell High has its
first female president.

You need to count the ballots again.

I'm inspired by you.

♪

I only recently broke
things off with Richie.

Congratulations to Buddy Aldridge.

If all I have now is Buddy's ear,

then that's what I have to work with.

♪

That's my car!

[PEDRO INFANTE'S "CIEN AÑOS"]

[GENTLE MUSIC]

♪

[ENERGETIC ROCK MUSIC ON JUKEBOX]

♪

Hey, come on!

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

You were an amazing Juliet.

So when did you know that you
wanted to become a thespian?

- May I get your autograph?
- Yes!

You were so good.

I saw her before the
play, but I think she left.

- Hey, Aldridge!
- [ALL GASPING]

♪ Why won't you leave her alone? ♪

♪ 'Cause I'm so sick and tired ♪

♪ Way she's carrying on ♪

[TENSE TONES]

♪ If you don't want me, baby ♪

♪ Why won't you tell me so? ♪

♪ If you don't want me, baby ♪

♪ Why won't you tell me so? ♪

♪ And I won't be around
knocking up on your door ♪

Three, two, one!

Again!

Good.

You're almost ready.

Just one thing left.

You've got to make weight.

♪

Cabbage soup. Eat up.

♪

- [BELL RINGS]
- Mm!

Meatball sub with provolone and peppers.

[BELL RINGS]

Antipasto salad-o!

- Thanks, Gil.
- [BELL RINGS]

See you tomorrow.

- Ah, salami for Tommy.
- [BELL RINGS]

And mortadella...

for the bella.

♪

♪ Ooh, it's all now, darling ♪

♪ I'll see you down the road ♪

[SHOPKEEPER'S BELL RINGS]

♪ But the next time I see you ♪

That was Little Milton
with "Next Time I See You."

Why don't you take a few extra bucks

from the tip jar, a little mad money.

It's okay, Ma. I know
we need the new fridge.

Sweet boy.

I wish your father could see you now,

so I could show that
worthless son of a bitch

- deadbeat what a real...
- [YAWNS]

[GIL CHUCKLES]

[BELL RINGS]

♪

Hey, Betty, is your face hurting?

No. Why?

'Cause it's hurting me.

You pig!

Hey, quit yelling at your brother,

and make him some coffee.

- He looks exhausted.
- [YAWNS]

Today!

[LES PAUL & MARY FORD'S "VAYA CON DIOS"]

BOTH: ♪ Vaya con Dios ♪

♪ My darling ♪

♪ Vaya con Dios ♪

♪ My love ♪

♪ Now the village mission
bells are softly ringing ♪

[SNORING]

Okay.

[SPEAKING SPANISH]

BOTH: Bleh!

[SHUSHES]

[WHISPERING]

[PEACEFUL MUSIC]

♪

BOTH: ♪ Vaya con Dios, my darling ♪

- [GROANS]
- You coming to school today?

BOTH: ♪ Vaya con Dios... ♪

- Vámanos, sunshine.
- BOTH: ♪ My love ♪

[GROANS]

[ENERGETIC ROCK MUSIC]

[ENGINE REVVING AND TIRES SQUEALING]

♪

That's it, my girl. Drink up.

Ah, ah, not too much, beautiful.

Should we leave them alone?

No, man. I'm picking up some tips.

There we go.

- [HOOD SLAMS]
- [GROANS]

Hiya, Richie! Where you been?

A few wild nights with some lovely
ladies from St. Bernadette's.

St. Bernadette's?

Those girls are so fast,
they're in the future.

See what I did there? I
said they were in the future.

[SOFT DRAMATIC MUSIC]

Today's our lucky day, gentlemen!

We're ditching school and
going to Volcano Island.

The casino in the desert?

I've always wanted to go there!

♪ Thrills, chills, and dollar bills! ♪

- [LAUGHS]
- I don't know, boys.

I don't think this
flattop's going to make it.

Yeah, I got a dress
rehearsal for the play tonight

and training tomorrow.

♪

[YAWNING]

[QUIRKY DOWNBEAT MUSIC]

♪

Now this is a sorry sight.

A bunch of hardworking guys

can't find time to blow off some steam?

Tell me, who deserves it more?

Well, I guess I could use some thrills,

chills, and dollar bills.

[LAUGHTER]

Shall we?

And don't forget the best part!

The girls.

ALL: The girls.

[BANGS ON HOOD OF CAR] Pile in!

[UPBEAT SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]

[ENGINE GRINDING]

[ENGINE TURNS OVER]

[SOFT DOWNBEAT MUSIC]

- Let's go, boys!
- [LAUGHS]

- [TIRES SQUEALING]
- Go, go!

[LAUGHTER] Whoo-hoo!

[CHIMES PLAY]

Good morning, boys and girls,

and thank you all for playing a part

in the democratic process.

The results are in.

Congratulations to...

Buddy Aldridge, our returning president.

[CHEERING]

It has to be a mistake, right?

They must have had a recount.

Oh, good things happen
to good people, Buddy.

You deserved to win.

[TENSE DOWNBEAT MUSIC]

♪

- Same old, same old.
- Status quo wins again.

Pink Ladies are still
a g*ng, win or lose.

♪

[UPBEAT ROCK MUSIC ON CAR STEREO]

Ah! Twinkies anyone?

Jesus, did you rob the
gas station back there?

"Rob" is a strong word.

See, that's what I
love about you, Potato!

Always looking out for everyone.

[LAUGHTER]

I can't. I've got to make weight.

We're about halfway there, boys!

We'd be a lot further if you
weren't as slow on the road

as you were with the girls.

I'm doing just fine, thanks.
I got my eyes on a dime.

Just waiting for the
right time to ask her out.

You don't know her.

What about you, hot sh*t?

Whoa!

Seems like things
have really stalled out

with vote for Jane Facciano.

- [LAUGHTER]
- Ooh!

[EXAGGERATED SMOOCHING]

You mean Fort Knox?

I couldn't get in there with a crowbar,

so I just cut my own losses.

Uh-huh, uh-huh.

Good thing I hear there are a
dimes a dozen at Volcano Island!

♪

Hey, how are we going to get in?

Age is just a mindset.

Just go in and act like you belong.

What if that doesn't work?

Whoa, worry too much?

Luckily I brought a little
something to help with that.

[LAUGHTER]

- Oh, there it is, Richie!
- [OVERLAPPING EXCITED CHATTER]

Light 'er up! [HOWLS]

[UPBEAT PSYCHEDELIC ROCK MUSIC]

♪

[ALL INAUDIBLE]

♪

[TIRES SCREECH]

♪

T-BIRDS: ♪ Tonight we're
getting high rolling ♪

♪ Rolling until it's
: in the morning ♪

♪ Leave your little life behind ♪

♪ We're going bigger than big time ♪

♪ We're high rolling ♪

High rolling!

♪ No more Gil slicing meat tonight ♪

♪ We're getting served
by pretty ladies ♪

T-BIRDS: ♪ Getting
served by pretty ladies ♪

♪ Big boys don't count calories ♪

♪ They eat the whole damn
place without a worry ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah ♪

♪ Oh out here, out here,
no one knows me or you ♪

♪ We got no, got no dirty laundry ♪

T-BIRDS: ♪ Tonight we're
getting high rolling ♪

♪ Until it's : in the morning ♪

♪ Leave your little life behind ♪

♪ We're going bigger than big time ♪

♪ We're high rolling ♪

High rolling!

♪ No eyes in the back of your head ♪

♪ Because tonight, baby ♪

♪ No sitting babies ♪

T-BIRDS: ♪ We're only making babies ♪

♪ I'm aiming for the slit of her dress ♪

♪ She don't even need persuading ♪

T-BIRDS: ♪ All potatoes
need some gravy ♪

♪ Oh, out here, out here,
no one knows me or you ♪

♪ We got no, got no dirty laundry ♪

T-BIRDS: ♪ Tonight we're
getting high rolling ♪

♪ Until it's : in the morning ♪

♪ Leave your little life behind ♪

♪ We're going bigger than big time ♪

♪ We're high rolling ♪

High rolling!

♪

[BELL RINGING AND COINS JANGLING]

♪

♪ We're high rolling ♪

High rolling!

[ALL CHUCKLING AND PANTING]

- [LIGHTS THUMP]
- Excuse me. Hello?

Hello? Gentlemen?

Talking to us?

Is that your car being towed?

Hey, hey! That's my car!

What the hell was in that reefer?

[SHY GUY CHUCKLES]

[UPBEAT ROCK MUSIC]

♪

$ .

$ ? We were gone for ten minutes.

It was two hours, and
you were in a red zone.

We... we don't got that kind of cash.

Buddy, I know you're
just doing your job.

But maybe you could let this one slide?

Mm-mm.

My pal Shy Guy here is a real
loose cannon when he's angry,

if you know what I mean.

Oh, yeah?

I knew guys like that.

In prison.

It's $ .

Son of a bitch! What are we going to do?

Uh... look at where we are.

We can earn it back.

How much money have we got?

I've got ¢ and...
nope, that's a button.

I got my lucky dollar.

My pop said it saved
his life in the w*r.

Had it in his pocket every day.

We're not going to use that.

Are we?

Of course not. Put that thing away.

Come on, Mr. Working Man.
Tell me you got something?

I... [SCOFFS]

[UPBEAT ROCK MUSIC]

♪

[LAUGHTER AND WHISTLES]

What's that I hear?

It's Lady Luck.

And she's calling us, boys!

[SUSAN SCREAMS AND SLAMS DOOR]

- ♪ Quizás, quizás, quizás
- ♪ Quizás, quizás, quizás

[QUIRKY MUSICAL FLOURISH]

♪ Could be ♪

[GAVEL TAPS]

You have the floor.

[CHUCKLES SOFTLY]

I'll start.

Um, I think it was a great idea
to have the dance at the gym.

I was wrong about the athletic club.

Thank you for pointing
me in the right direction.

In that case, maybe we can
get Johnny Vavoom to DJ?

That part may be tricky.

The PTA has to approve of the DJ, and...

every parent in town hates his guts.

[CHUCKLES]

But I'm sure we can figure
out a way to make it happen.

I can arrange a meeting
with the PTA to discuss it

- and...
- No, let me do it.

I'll make it my mission.

We're in this together.

♪ Anything you choose,
no way can I lose ♪

- [DOOR OPENS]
- [LAUGHS] Where's my boy?

There he is.

Ha! There he is, Mr. President himself.

Well done, kiddo.

I knew you would make me proud.

Jane, no hard feelings, right?

- [LAUGHS]
- [JANE CHUCKLES SOFTLY]

You ran a very tough race, young lady.

Thank you, Mr. Aldridge.

I should get home for dinner.

I'll see you tomorrow at school, Buddy.

- Yeah.
- [CHUCKLES]

I'll see you.

Nothing like the smell of success

to make all the girls go ga-ga.

You know, I bet tomorrow,

there's going to be a
lineup of girls outside

all wanting to go to the
dance with President Buddy.

Speaking of, could you
tell Ralph at the club

that we're going to hold the
dance at the gym this year?

At Rydell?

That is a big step down
from the club, Buddy.

Yeah, I know. But Jane...

but I thought that it
would be a good idea.

It's what the kids want anyway.

[INHALES DEEPLY]

Well, you got to keep
the constituents happy.

I'll make a call to Ralph.

Thank you, Dad.

Hey, I serve at the pleasure...

- [IMITATES FIST IMPACTING]
- [BUDDY CHUCKLING]

Of the president.

♪

She must be some girl.

♪

Yeah.

[ENERGETIC JAZZ MUSIC]

- [INDISTINCT CHATTER]
- He'll take another one.

♪

We'll start over there.

[GAMBLERS CHEERING]

♪ One of these days, no
more work, just play ♪

♪ It's time for me, I need some relief ♪

[SHY GUY CHUCKLES]

♪ I'm no more Mr. Nice Guy ♪

Wow.

It's like looking into the future.

Yeah, they're like the
older version of us.

We should bet on black,
official T-Bird colors.

- Black it is.
- No more bets.

♪ I'll be happier when I'm gone ♪

♪ Yes, I knew that all along ♪

[ALL CHEERING]

♪

Right off the bat, we doubled our money!

[T-BIRDS LAUGHING]

See, I told you, this is our night.

Let's split up, increase our chances.

♪ Yeah, one of these days ♪

♪ This time, I'm out,
there ain't no doubt ♪

♪ That time is here right now ♪

- [BELL RINGING]
- ♪ One of these days ♪

Yeah, baby! Three potatoes! Jackpot!

[LAUGHS]

Oh. [CHUCKLES]

Those are pears. [CHUCKLES]

Aw.

Close enough. [LAUGHS]

♪ One of these days ♪

♪

You sure you want to do that?

Yeah.

Easiest way to make even money in craps

is with the pass line.

♪ It's finally true ♪

♪ Just me and you ♪

There you go.

♪ Baby, I can't wait till I see you ♪

Take the double. Pay the line.

- Did I win?
- Hey, you win.

Let it ride.

Hey, how about a little side bet?

If the next roll is a two or a three,

I'll give you five bucks.

If it's not, you give me five bucks.

Sounds like a fair bet.

You're on.

♪ I can't wait until I
see those city lights ♪

♪ I'll come around to meet you ♪

♪ 'Bout half past : ♪

♪ Baby, I'm so glad to see you ♪

Good luck to us, huh?

♪ I won't be late ♪

♪

- Nine.
- [ALL CHEERING]

♪ We'll fly to the
city that never sleeps ♪

♪ Just me and you, I always knew ♪

♪ Yeah, this time,
we'll play for keeps ♪

- Seven, winner.
- I'm on fire!

♪

Can I get you another drink, sir?

- Yeah, I'm pretty thirsty.
- [GIGGLES]

Hey.

♪ It's finally true ♪

- You look like good luck.
- [GIGGLES]

♪ Baby, I can't wait
until I see you tonight ♪

Seven winner again.

- [RICHIE LAUGHS]
- [ALL CHEERING]

[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING IN ANOTHER ROOM]

Hello. Anyone home?

♪

To all you Rydell residents
still awake at this hour,

here's one by Hank Ballard
& the Midnighters for you.

Other stations banned it far and near,

but Johnny Vavoom's got no fear!

Here to bring the rock and
roll revolution to your ears.

[UPBEAT ROCK MUSIC]

♪

Who the hell are you?

- I've got a g*n!
- Oh, my...

I just have to find it.

That won't be necessary.
The door was open.

Hi, I'm Buddy Aldridge from Rydell High.

I was just hoping you
would DJ our school dance.

[LAUGHING] Hilarious.

If Gene sent you, you can
tell him to go to hell.

- I already paid him.
- No, nobody sent me.

The kids at our school are
just wild about your show.

Well, their parents think

I should be strung
up in the town square.

What makes you think I'd risk my neck

just to spin records while
a bunch of kids do-si-do?

Well, you see,

the school dance is usually
just for the well-off kids,

but this year, it's free for everyone.

I mean, isn't that
what you're all about,

sticking it to the fat cats?

I'm glad you like the music,
kid, but I'm not your man.

[SIGHS]

To be honest, I don't
care about the music.

I don't see what's so bad

about Rosemary Clooney and Perry Como.

[SPITS] Perry Como?

Why don't you just get some warm milk

and a lobotomy instead?

[CHUCKLES] Never mind.

This was a stupid idea.

She'll never take me back.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, so you...

you got rejected by a girl?

Now that's my area of expertise.

See, this is why guys like you and me

need rock and roll, kid.

All that Rosemary Clooney's
dissolved your spine.

You got to put on some
Joe Turner, some Fats,

some Sister Rosetta. [SMOOCHES]

Let those balls drop,
then shake them up.

Go after what you want.

♪ Let's get it while
the getting is good ♪

Says the man who's afraid
to come out of his booth.

♪ So good, so good ♪

Sorry, kid.

The free advice is all I got for you.

♪

Here's something a little
different for you, folks!

A new song outta Memphis, Tennessee,

called "That's All Right."

It's by a kid called Elvis Presley,

and it is indeed all right.

[DOWNBEAT MUSIC]

♪

[SIGHS]

bucks, baby.

- Whoo!
- Now we're cooking with gas.

We can get the car back,

and I got plenty left
to bring home to Ma.

Mm.

Little bit better
than cabbage soup, huh?

Mm-hmm.

[UPBEAT SALSA MUSIC]

♪

What are you waiting for?

That's a top-shelf chick right there.

Nah, I'm good.

I've only got eyes for one girl.

♪

And I got to tell you...

It's Olivia, isn't it?

Well, it's not happening, all right?

So you can just forget about it.

Why?

I don't want some creep
all over my sister.

You get it. You've got five of them.

Bet you wouldn't want me
within ten feet of any of them.

But that chick...

ain't my sister.

So just take advantage of the situation.

♪

Wow, it's almost midnight!

What? How?

We have to get back.

Hey, hey, hey, what's the rush?

Well, I already missed dress rehearsal.

I can't miss opening night.

You're going to tell me
you actually care about

your little school play?

No.

Just doing it for Cynthia.
But I promised her.

Yeah, I got to open the deli up at : .

We should go.

Boys, boys, we can't stop now.

We're on a roll here.

Hey, can we get another
round of drinks, sweetheart?

♪

Hey, Bunny, let's hop.

♪

What are we supposed to do?

Anyone got a cattle prod?

There's no fighting
him when he's like this.

We just got to let him
get it out of his system.

♪

[PERRY COMO'S "PAPA
LOVES MAMBO" PLAYING]

♪

- ♪
- [GRUNTS]

♪

Hey. [CHUCKLES] There he is.

♪ Papa loves mambo ♪

Don't worry, I covered
for you with your mother.

So were you out, uh,
parking with a girl?

Actually, I was...

trying to get Johnny Vavoom
to come to the fall ball.

Johnny Vavoom.

That goof of a DJ? Come on, Buddy.

I can't see him fitting
in too well at the club.

But we're not going to
have the dance at the club.

You talked to Ralph, right?

Buddy, you weren't serious about that.

That was just the hormones talking.

No, Jane has good ideas. Huh?

That's why I almost half
the school voted for her.

Well, more than half, actually.

What?

Hey, no need to thank me.

I just did what was best for the school.

♪ Having their fling again ♪

♪ Younger than spring again,
feeling that zing again ♪

You changed the results?

Well, I wouldn't say that.

Out loud. [LAUGHS]

Why did you do that?

♪ Papa loves mambo ♪

That's... that's not what I wanted!

I wanted to win fair and square, Dad.

Buddy!

I just greased the wheels a little bit.

I mean, Nicholson was already
heading that direction.

He just needed a little push.

Buddy, come on.

I do not think there is any harm

in a father helping his son

every now and then.

[SMOOCHES]

All right?

♪ She goes to ♪

Wait.

♪ She goes fro ♪

You've done this before?

[INHALES DEEPLY]

I might have helped a
little bit with football too.

Grades every now and again.

But you never needed it,
Buddy, because you are so great.

♪ Papa's looking for mama, but... ♪

Look, I just had to make sure...

that everyone saw the
same potential in you...

[WORDS ECHOING] That I saw.

[DISSONANT AMBIENT MUSIC]

[WORDS DISTANT] All right?

♪

[UPBEAT JAZZY MUSIC]

Keep 'em coming.

Hey, you ever think of tipping?

Yeah, I got a tip for you.

Meet me in the bathroom in five minutes.

Ugh.

♪ I fell in love ♪

♪ With everything about you ♪

Richie, what the hell are you doing?

Night's not over. Come on, boys!

I'm feeling lucky!

♪

Uh, Richie,

don't you think we ought
to quit while we're ahead?

$ . What, you boys in kindergarten?

Ignore him. That guy fleeced me earlier.

Let's mix it up.

I'm feeling red tonight.

You crazy? We need that money.

You've had too much
to drink tonight, Rich.

Ay, Jesusito.

♪ Hold me close ♪

[MUSIC SLOWS DOWN]

[ECHOING DREAMY MUSIC]

♪

[IN SLOW MOTION] Come on.

♪

[T-BIRDS GROAN]

♪ Given my eyes will see ♪

Let that be a lesson to you boys.

Always hedge your bets.

Oh my God. We are screwed, Rich.

Don't worry about it.
I'll get the money back.

How? What are you going to do, beg?

I've got an even better idea.

Hey!

Want some real action?

Meet us in the parking
garage in ten minutes.

- [SCOFFING CHUCKLE]
- Well, that's it, folks.

He's lost his marbles.

What the hell?

Relax. You guys don't trust me?

♪

[TENSE ROCK MUSIC]

♪

Listen up.

One fight, one round.

Winner takes all.

Are you on a su1c1de mission?

These guys will k*ll you.

Simmer down, all right?

I'm not an idiot.

I'm not fighting them.

Uh, what?

[SNAPS]

I'm not doing this.

Come on, Kyle. You got this.

I'm not fighting for you.

You serious?

This is our chance to
make our money back,

and you're going to leave us hanging?

No, I'm leaving you hanging.

You're the one that lost all our money!

Okay, fellas, let's go.

These boys are tapped.

Hey, we've got this.

Screw you, Rich.

You've got no right to take that.

Way to go, morons.

You're acting like an assh*le.

Yeah, well at least I'm not crying

about missing some stupid play!

[TENSE ROCK MUSIC]

♪

Rich.

[PANTING]

- Hit me!
- [DRAMATIC ROCK CHORD]

- Come on, hit me!
- [TWO DRAMATIC ROCK CHORDS]

♪ Then hit me again ♪

♪ Ball your fist up and pull it back ♪

♪ 'Cause that first punch
barely left a scratch ♪

♪ A little bit of action
makes me feel all alive ♪

♪ They threw a thousand
punches but I always survived ♪

♪ A black leather jacket
compliments a black eye ♪

♪ The world was never made
for me, so why even try? ♪

♪ Just hit me, hit me, hit me ♪

♪ Hit me, hit me, hit me, hit me ♪

♪ Come on, hit me again ♪

[ROWDY ROCK MUSIC]

♪

♪ Oh, I won't feel it ♪

♪ But if I do ♪

♪ It's a feeling that I'm used to ♪

♪

♪ They tell me I got street smarts ♪

♪ Don't bother to read ♪

♪ Your hands will do the work,
we don't care if you bleed ♪

♪ On my side of town,
no, nobody can leave ♪

♪ The only way out is
if you're sent overseas ♪

♪ So hit me, hit me, hit me, hit me ♪

♪ Hit me, hit me, hit me ♪

♪ Come on, hit me again ♪

♪ Come on, hit me again ♪

Ha!

♪

- ♪
- [GUITAR SOLOING]

♪

[METALLIC THUD]

[SLOW DOWNBEAT ROCK MUSIC]

♪ What's the point of trying ♪

♪ When the scales have been tipped? ♪

♪ And everybody's working
just to dig their own ditch? ♪

♪ I've been through it all,
and I'll go through it again ♪

♪ What's the point of trying
when you don't have a chance? ♪

♪ So hit me again ♪

[MUSIC FADES]

W-what's happening?

Got it out of his system.

[DOWNBEAT MUSIC]

♪

sh*t.

♪

This ice smells.

I stole it from the seafood tower.

Keep it on there. Trust me.

I'm sorry I tried to make you fight.

Just thought 'cause you were a boxer...

I hate fighting.

You know, I just do it

because of my d... [VOICE CRACKS]

dad.

I'm not going to do it anymore.

It's what he wants. It's not...

it's not what I want.

[VOICE CRACKS] I wish my dad...

[CLEARS THROAT AND GRUNTS]

[CLEARS THROAT]
This desert air is dry, huh?

- Very dry.
- I'm parched.

I wish he wanted anything.

But he came back
different after the w*r.

He's shell-shocked.

Can't keep a job for himself

no matter how hard my
mom yells at him or...

or I try to cheer him up.

It doesn't make a difference.

[SNIFFLES] Uh, allergies.

I got those too. It's the dust.

At least you guys have dads.

I've been the man of the house
since I was eight years old,

and I'm exhausted.

Plus I got the hay fever.

- That's been going around.
- More fluids.

[SHAKILY] I think I'm in love.

[RICHIE SOBBING SOFTLY]

[SOBBING] But I screwed it all up.

We're right by the kitchen exhaust.

They're probably
cutting onions in there.

- That explains it.
- Yeah, it's the enzymes.

[RICHIE SNIFFLES]

Hey...

your jacket's all dusty.

[RICHIE SOBS AND SNIFFLES]

- Can't be having dust.
- [RICHIE SNIFFLING]

I think we got it all.

[SHAKILY] Yep, good as new.

Sorry for dragging you all here.

I just... I'll find us a
way out though, I promise.

There's no need.

I'm feeling lucky.

How about you guys?

[UPBEAT JAZZY MUSIC]

Hey, Mt. Fuji!

Now what?

I'll bet you this dollar

that you giggle like Shirley Temple

if someone tickles your left nipple.

♪

Okay, easiest buck I ever made.

♪ I think about the day ♪

♪ The first time that
we kissed in the rain ♪

[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]

♪

[TENSE MUSICAL CRESCENDO]

Uh-huh!

- Told you.
- What are you doing?

[T-BIRDS LAUGHING]

What?

[UPBEAT MUSIC]

♪

See, sir, we bet your
friend over there bucks

that you would let
us tickle your nipple.

[T-BIRDS LAUGH]

♪

- Thanks for your business!
- Fare thee well! Eh, Shy Guy?

- Suckers!
- [LAUGHTER]

Thank you.

♪

Hey, we got the money!

buckaroos.

That was yesterday.

New day.

Extra $ .

What?

- That's robbery.
- Pay up or get out.

[CHUCKLES]

[CROWS CAWING]

Listen, I'm going to level with you.

The truth is we're just
four kids trying to get home.

My pal is in a play, and
I got to get him back.

I can't let these guys down again.

I'm begging you.

[SIGHS]

Sorry.

[RICHIE CHUCKLES]

I don't care about fairy princess plays.

Aw. What, are you going to cry now?

Are you going to cry? What?

- [UPBEAT MUSIC]
- Holy sh*t!

♪

We'll take that.

[GROGGY] That's my money, dammit.

♪

Get in the car.

- Brace yourself, boys!
- [ENGINE REVS]

[TIRES SQUEALING]

♪

[ALL SHOUTING EXCITEDLY]

I have to get to driver's ed.

But I was thinking, I bet
we could get a camera shop

to sponsor the photo booth.

And then everyone would be able to...

Jane, I have to tell you something.

Um...

[SPARSE SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]

♪

I'm so lucky to have
you as my number two.

You're so good at this stuff.

Thanks. [CHUCKLES SOFTLY]

Good luck with the show tonight.

Yeah.

Break a leg.

Not another arm. [LAUGHS]

♪

- [WORDS DISTANT]
- Romeo.

Romeo!

Get the hell out there, Romeo.

[LIGHTS THUMP]

I said good-morrow, cousin.

Is the day so lo... uh, young?

Was that my father
that went hence so fast?

It was.

What sadness lengthens Romeo's hours?

Out...

out of her favor, where I am in love.

[WHOOSHING]

[GENTLE DRAMATIC MUSIC]

♪

♪ They say all the world's a stage ♪

♪ All the men and women
merely got a part to play ♪

♪ Am I the one pretending,
or is everybody fake? ♪

♪ Are we a little different,
or are we all the same? ♪

♪ Silver spoons, they fall ♪

♪ Every single time I
go to open up my mouth ♪

♪ Do I make decisions? ♪

♪ Or has that not been allowed? ♪

♪ Or am I just a vessel
for someone else's sound? ♪

[OMINOUS MUSIC]

♪ Am I a puppet in a dream ♪

♪ Who's closed his eyes to everything ♪

♪ All the hands that point directions ♪

♪ Open doors to good connections ♪

♪ I'm a product of pulling strings ♪

♪ But I swear I'm sitting on the brink ♪

♪ Of being who everyone thinks ♪

♪ Without hands that point directions ♪

♪ Open doors to good connections ♪

♪ I'm a product of pulling strings ♪

[WHISTLE BLOWS]

♪ I thought I got the gold ♪

♪ But I was steps ahead of
every starter p*stol pulled ♪

♪ I thought I was a winner,
but it turns out I'm a joke ♪

♪ Don't want my reputation up in smoke ♪

[DRAMATIC MUSIC]

♪ Am I a puppet in a dream ♪

♪ Who's closed his eyes to everything ♪

♪ All the hands that point directions ♪

♪ Open doors to good connections ♪

♪ I'm a product of pulling strings ♪

♪ But I swear I'm standing on the brink ♪

♪ Of being who everyone thinks ♪

♪ Without hands that point directions ♪

♪ Open doors to good connections ♪

♪ I'm a product of pulling strings ♪

♪ Exposing my real flaws ♪

♪ Will come at a real cost ♪

♪ I might be a damn fraud,
but at least I'm changing ♪

♪ At least I'm changing ♪

[SOFT DRAMATIC MUSIC]

♪

♪ I am waking from the dream ♪

♪ Open eyes to everything ♪

♪ All the hands that point directions ♪

♪ Open doors to good connections ♪

♪ Oh, from now on, I'll
be cutting strings ♪

♪ I swear I'm standing on the brink ♪

♪ Of being who everyone thinks ♪

♪ I'm switching my perception,
making meaningful connections ♪

♪ So from now on I'll
be cutting strings ♪

[LIGHTS THUMP]

Away, begone. The sport is at the best.

Ay, so I fear.

- The more is my unrest.
- [HINGES CREAK]

[APPLAUSE]

We're never going to make it.

Rydell's still ten miles away.

Have hope, brother.

Come on, go over the lines with me.

Such mortal dr*gs I have...

[GROANS]

Come on, baby. You can make it.

Thanks for always driving us around.

- I don't say that enough.
- No sweat.

If you want to ask Olivia
out, you should do it.

- [TIRES SCREECH]
- Whoa!

You messing with me?

No, you're a good guy.

Better you than some jerk-off
who's ass I'd have to kick.

[GIL LAUGHS]

And I think she kind of likes you.

Really?

- She tell you that?
- Nah, but she's really mean to you.

That's how you know.

Wait, she's mean to me too.

[GROWLS AND LAUGHS]

What ho! Apothecary.

[CLEARS THROAT]

- We can't find the apothecary.
- [GROANING] Ah.

If I need to take the
role of the apothecary...

then take the role I shall.

[KNOCK AT DOOR]

What ho! Apothecary.

[AUDIENCE MURMURING]

[PANTING] Who...

[PANTING]

[AUDIENCE SNICKERING]

Ooh.

[AUDIENCE SNICKERING]

Who calls so loud?

- [T-BIRDS CHEERING AND CLAPPING]
- That's my boy right there!

[T-BIRDS CHEERING LOUDLY]

[UPBEAT MUSIC]

[APPLAUSE]

I told you you'd be great.

Thanks.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

[GLOOMY MUSIC]

♪

Hey, Romeo, where's the fire? [LAUGHS]

Now that... that was quite a show.

I've got to go talk to Jane.

I'm going to tell her the truth.

No, no, no, no, Buddy. You're
just going to upset her.

Come on.

Let your old man take you
out for a steak dinner,

and I will smooth it all over.

I don't want that.

- I want to...
- Come on.

I'll sneak you a martini, okay?

Just don't tell your mother.

No!

[SNIFFLES]

No.

[PEDRO INFANTE'S "CIEN AÑOS"]

♪

Marie, is... is Jane inside?

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

Come here!

- To...
- ALL: Hazel!

♪

Gosh, Susan, I've never
seen you eat so much.

Maybe you have a parasite.

[MOUTH FULL] I just like burgers a lot.

[BUBBLES GURGLING]

[UPBEAT ROCK AND ROLL MUSIC]

Hey, have either of you seen Jane?

[CHUCKLES] Only hundreds of times.

She's about, oh, yea high,
glasses, a real looker.

I saw her before the
play, but I think she left.

- Okay.
- Hey, Aldridge!

[ALL GASP]

Have you seen Jane?

No, I... I was just
looking for her myself.

♪ I'll see you down the road ♪

- What happened to you?
- Don't worry about it.

Are you sure you haven't seen her?

Yeah, I'm sure.

♪ I'll see you down the road ♪

I'm not ready to say goodbye.

I've got big news for
the kids at Rydell High.

Hey, Johnny Vavoom just said
something about Rydell High!

Everybody, shut up. Shut up!

Johnny Vavoom will be spinning disks

at the Rydell High dance in the flesh!

Give a hand to your
class president, Buddy.

He may be tame,

but he reminded me why I'm in this game.

The youth of this nation and even me,

we all need rock and roll,
see, to work up some moxie.

Rydell, get ready to rock roll!

[ALL CHEERING]

[ROCK AND ROLL MUSIC]

Way to go, Buddy.

You're the best president ever.

Buddy, can you sign this? Buddy!

[OVERLAPPING CHATTER]

I know, I know.

Yeah, Romeo!

[OVERLAPPING CHATTER]

♪

[KNOCK AT DOOR]

♪

What happened?

Were you two fighting?

No.

We didn't come here together.

I came here to talk to you.

Yeah, me too.

- Separately.
- Oh, right.

Okay.

Look, I'm just going to
say what I got to say,

then you can go, okay?

This is like an episode
of "The Guiding Light."

Starring your drip of a sister

who somehow pulled two hunks.

You think we should get some glasses?

Look, I don't know what's
going on between you two,

and I guess it's none of my business,

but I'm sorry about Halloween.

I saw you two together,
and I couldn't handle it.

Yeah, no, I'll be over there.

See, when we got together,

I started feeling things,
real things, good things.

And then, I don't know.

It's like the feelings didn't stop.

And I started feeling other things too,

things I've been trying
not to feel for a long time,

things that scare the hell out of me.

And it was just easier for me to explode

than it was for me to feel them.

Richie...

But Jane, I'd rather
feel everything with you

than nothing with someone else.

And I know I've got a lot to prove.

But I hope you'll let me take
you to the dance to start.

Oh.

I...

You don't have to decide now.

I'll let Buddy say his piece.

- My turn?
- Yeah.

Jane, I...

I wanted to tell you...

I wanted to tell you that
Johnny Vavoom is going to DJ.

I got him. [CHUCKLES SOFTLY]

Oh.

Wow.

It sounds like you've got two offers.

I...

I've got bucks on
Buddy and his biceps.

Over Richie and that dreamboat smile?

You're crazy.

I...

We'll give you some time.

[SIGHS SOFTLY]

[DRAMATIC ROCK MUSIC]

♪

[BOTTLES CLANKING]

♪