04x02 - Loose Lips Sink Yachts

[bunniefuu]

[upbeat music]

I do not understand you Americans.

I have been at this school for ten minutes now,

and no one has yet praised me for my stylish outfit!

Maybe they're blinded by your jewelry.

How is that possible? I'm hardly wearing any.

This locker is totally unacceptable!

It's smack in the middle of Nerd Gulch.



-[girl] Hi. [giggles]

-[boy snorting]

Never stopped in this part of the hall before.

I can feel the coolness draining right out of me.

I can't stay here!

This is gonna be the worst year of my life!

Oh, well, there's always next year.

Easy for you to say.

You have a locker on the upper

-east hallway.

With a view of the boys' locker room.

[gasp] You have a view?

That does it. They can't treat me like this!

I'm gonna handle this myself.

Uh

-huh. Oh!

Excellent molecule, Ned.

It's Lila. Is Daddy there?

Is she always like this on the first day of school?

Oh, no, she's like this every day.

I don't care if he's on the moon, find him!

Just look straight ahead,

and don't make any sudden movements.

Renata, you just had your first near

-dork experience.

Oh, thank you for coming to my rescue, Jessica!

And to make sure you don't run into any other trouble,

here's a list of guys you're allowed to go out with.

And what is this?

These guys are off limits.

Do not waste your time.

I had a date with this one last night.

He has the breath of a burro,

and this one, he has the brains of one.

What can I say?

I would not wrap fish with your list.

Hey, I worked on this all summer.

It's the best Sweet Valley has to offer.

[rock music]

Wow.

[upbeat music]

♪ Look right down Any crowded hall ♪

♪ You'll see There's a beauty standing ♪

♪ Is she really everywhere Or a reflection ♪

♪ One always calls out to you ♪

♪ The other's shy and quiet ♪

♪ Could there be Two different girls ♪

♪ Who look the same at ♪

♪ Sweet Valley Sweet Valley High ♪

♪ Meet you At Sweet Valley High ♪

♪ Sweet Valley Sweet Valley High ♪

♪ Meet you At Sweet Valley High ♪

♪ Sweet Valley Sweet Valley High ♪

♪ Meet you At Sweet Valley High ♪

♪ Sweet Valley Sweet Valley High ♪

♪ Meet you At Sweet Valley High ♪

He's still unreachable?

But this is an emergency!

[girl] I dreamt about Einstein last night.

They're closing in on me, hurry!

Okay, settle down, everyone.

And you are?

Devon Whitelaw.

Oh, you must be the new student.

You must be the old teacher.

Mr. Whitelaw, please take a seat.



-Over here.

-Over here.

Where?

You're in my seat.

I just want you to know that I'm not moving

'cause you asked me to.

I'm

-

- I'm moving 'cause you're bigger than me.

Hey!



-Did you see that?

-Whoa.

Mr. Whitelaw, please take your foot off the desk!

Look, I don't know who you think you are,

but this is my classroom.

And you show up on time,

and you keep your feet on the floor!

Now take your foot off the desk.

You either take your foot off that desk,

or I'm going to have to ask you to leave.

Hey, I'll save you the time.

Wow, I can't believe he's walking out.

Did you see that?

He was so rude!

And primitive.

[both] He's mine!

[students chattering]

Isn't this interesting?

After lunch, Devon has metal shop class.

She fell for it.

She doesn't stand a chance against me.

But, then again, who does?

If you thought that was good, watch this.

You're Devon Whitelaw, right?

Yeah.

I'm Jessica Wakefield.

That sounds familiar.

You probably heard of me.

I am kind of popular.

Actually, I'm very popular.

So this is from you?

"I can't bear to be without you.

Love Jessica."

What?

This isn't from me!

Please. Do I look like the type of person

that would send you a teddy bear?

Nice scarf.

Oh, no!

Looks like you've been set up.

Renata!

What do you mean there is no Devon Whitelaw in this class?

Get to work!

Jessica!

Liz! Are you doing that article

on the new faces at Sweet Valley High?

Yeah, I'm working on it right now.

Oh! Give me the

-

- on Devon Whitelaw.

We must have all the details.

I don't know anything about him.

Is this his file?

I'll take that.

You guys, his file is empty.

Empty?

Oh, a man of mystery.

His file's empty and you don't know anything about him?

And you call yourself a journalist?

Look, my interview with him isn't till tomorrow.

I'm doing a computer search on him right now.

What's that?

Oh, they're just some questions for the interview.

"Where were you born?

What are your life goals?"

Hello!

This is not what inquiring minds want to know!

You've gotta ask him the important stuff.

Like, what's his favorite shade of blond?

Or if he prefers a fiery Brazilian

with hot Latin blood running through her veins?

Whatever.

Look, I have work to do. You guys gotta go.

Liz, this is important.

It's crucial.

It's dating!

Dating is what I do.

Don't you care?

Not really. [scoffs]

And you call yourself a sister.

Liz! Check this out!

"Whitelaw yacht mysteriously sinks in flames.

Whitelaw son, heir to fortune, suspect in tragedy.

Devon Whitelaw cleared of all charges."

Wow! He torched his parents' yacht!

Do the words "cleared of all charges"

mean anything to you?

I knew he looked familiar!

They did a story on him on America's Most Suspicious.

The neighbors said Devon was quiet and liked to read.

You know what that means.

That he's quiet and likes to read?

Exactly!

Give the poor guy a break!

He lost his family.

[scoffs] Poor guy?

His parents left him a fortune.

Just like he planned.

Enid, we don't know what really happened.

Promise me you won't spread any of your crazy theories

around school.

My lips are sealed.

I won't say a word.

So then, this Devon guy sets the yacht on fire,

swims to shore, and watches it sink.

Then he escapes in the dark of night

and collects this huge inheritance.

This guy's going to our school?

Enid, this isn't like the time

you thought your neighbor was the Unabomber?

Hey! He was always delivering packages!

He was your mailman!

All I know is that Devon Whitelaw

is a cold

-blooded m*rder*r.

[Liz] What?



-Allegedly.

-Enid!

You promised not to say anything!

Liz, I'm sorry! They dragged it out of me!

I asked if I could have your pickle!

All I know is this guy pulled me out of my seat

and threw me across the room.

This is getting out of hand.

Yeah, don't you guys have anything better to do

than gossip about Devon Whitelaw?

Todd is absolutely right.

Anybody wanna gossip about Renata?

Well, if Devon Whitelaw thinks he can come in here

and order me around, he's got another thing coming.

I'll take a burger.

Coming right up.

Would you like some fires with that?

I mean fries.

I'm sorry.

You know what, it's on the boat.



-[gasp]

-House.

Oh!



-Way to go, Winston.

-[Manny] Yeah.

You showed him.

I can't believe you guys. He's new!

At least give him a chance!

[groans]

I'm gonna go talk to him.

No. I'll go.

Todd, if you need back

-up, I'm right here.

Oh, you are so brave!

[pop music playing in background]

Wanna play some pool?

No, thanks.

Oh, come on. Just a quick game.

I'm talking to you.

[Devon] So?

You afraid you might lose?

You're getting on my nerves.

[scoffs] You've got a really bad attitude.

Attitude.

A three

-syllable word.

Not bad, Sport

-o.

You know, people are saying all kinds of stuff about you,

and I'm beginning to think they're right.

I don't care what you think.

Todd.

Come on, let's go.

♪ I shoulda known My baby missed me ♪

[sighs] One Moon Beach Deluxe with fries.

Is it well done?

Absolutely!

Very well done.

Scorched!

[comical music]

Did I just say that?

[sighs] No offense.

Right, bud?

Did you just touch me?

No!

It was more of a graze.

Definitely not a touch!

Definitely, definitely not.

You know, I gotta go.

[scoffs]

Oh, Devon, you and I, we have a sacred bond.

It's a connection that's so meaningful and spiritual

that it transcends all the others.

We have money.

How do you know so much about me?

That shall be my secret.

Devon! I have been looking all over for you!

Ugh. The brainy one.

You blew off our interview this afternoon!

Why don't you interview your friends?

Seems like they know all about me.

I don't listen to gossip.

I wanna hear your side of the story.

Look, I lost both my parents!

End of story.

I'm sorry.

I'm just doing my job.

I'm a journalist.

You call this journalism?

"Cafeteria tater tots % more soggy."

Yeah, that's controversial.

You know what? Forget it.

This is a waste of my time!

Believe me, I won't bother you again!

[bluesy electric guitar music]

The lab projects will be due on Thursday.

As a reminder, this assignment will be worth

% of your grade.

And you'll be working on it with a partner.

Miss Wakefield, Mr. Whitelaw,

you will be partners for this assignment.

Great.

Miss Pierce and Mr. Connelly.

Miss Jennings and Mr. Baron.

Miss Zinner and

-

-

[phone ringing]

Vandals!

Daddy? I'm so glad you got my fax.

Now they're putting pictures of creepy old men on my locker.

You gotta get me outta here!

I tried being nice to them.

Would it k*ll you to wear pants

that reach the tops of your shoes?!

No. Not you, Daddy.

So now I'm stuck doing this physics project with Devon.

I bet he won't even show up at my house tonight.

You told him where you live?

Yeah. I thought it would make it easier

for him to find the house.

Maybe I should come just in case.

Todd, relax.

I can handle Devon.

I'll see you later, okay?

Dinner.



-What about dinner?

-I'd love to!

How about Chez Jay tomorrow night at eight?



-Okay.

-And for the record,

I don't care what you did to your parents.

So what if there's a bunch of silly rumors about you?

People talk about me all the time.

Then again, can you blame them?

Right. Tomorrow night, then.

See you there.

Hey, Renata! Got a second?



-[upbeat music on TV]

-Jess, what are you doing?

Duh! It's time for Lifestyles of the Fit and Fabulous,



-Do you mind?

-[TV turns off]

I'm trying to do my homework!

That's okay, you won't bother me.

Look, I'm trying to figure out this physics assignment.

Devon was supposed to come over and work on it with me.

Devon? Here? Tonight?

He can't see me like this!

Jess, you look great.

I know!

But he saw me all day in this outfit.

I gotta go change!

I wouldn't bother. He's already an hour late.

I don't think he's coming.

[doorbell chimes]

It's him!

Hey.

Thanks for fitting me into your busy schedule.

You know, I have been working on this all night,

and I could've used your help!

Just because you don't care about your grades,

doesn't mean I'm willing to get an F!

Did you hear what I said?

Are you finished?

What's that?

It's our assignment.

Ah! Devon!

What a surprise!

Big night out?

Oh!

This old thing? [giggles]

It's nice.

You might want to lose the price tag.

See you tomorrow night.

[Jessica] Mr. Whitelaw's table please?

[host] Yes.

Renata.

What are you doing here?

I have a date with Devon.

Does he know?

Of course he knows!

What are you doing here?

He made a date with me, too.

Well, there must be some mistake.

Here you go, ladies.

"Compliments of...

Devon Whitelaw."

He has played us for the fool.

That boy is full of the devil.

I feel so stupid.

No one can ever know our shame.

This will be our little secret.

Only we can never tell anyone.

Let's make some toast.

To Devon Whitelaw,

the first guy we've ever fought over.

May he not be the last.

[glasses clink]



-Truce?

-Truce.

Oh! Home, at last.

The soft lighting, the clean air,

the clear skin.

So how did you get Amy Sutton's locker, anyway?

Well, Daddy convinced Principal Cooper

that there was a serious mistake on the locker assignments.

What happened to Amy?

[ominous music]

Uh, greetings, Amy!

[girl] Oh, look a newcomer!

[screaming]

That's him! That's the guy who got kicked out of class!

[girl] Oh, really?

Yeah, you know, I'm pretty busy the entire year, too.

Yeah, we'll go out next year.

Say, fall?



-[girl] Dream on!

-[slam]

Or spring? You know... No pressure.

[ominous rock music]

[grunting]

It was an accident.

You know, I bleed really easily.

I'm a bleeder.

Relax. Just get up.

[Jessica] Mm.

Whitelaw?



-[grunts]

-Get your hands off of him!

Mind your own business!

[Todd] This is my business!

Todd, wait.

I can take care of this!

Manny, we should do something!

We'll do something later. They're about to fight.

What's going on?

[Winston] Todd, stop!

You don't understand, he was trying to help me.

[Devon] Let him believe what he wants.

It's what everyone else does around here.

There's only one person who even cares about the truth.

This isn't over, Whitelaw!

[Manny] Are you okay, man?

Let's get out of here.

Did you hear that?

He thinks I care about the truth!

[with accent] Are you yoking?

He was obviously talking about me!

The only thing he'd ever say to you is,

"You're blocking my view of Jessica."

Hey! I thought you two were friends now?

Oh, we are!

You know what they say,

keep your friends close and your M&M's closer.

Whatever. All I know is it's too dangerous for us

not to be on the same side.

[comical music]

Good job, you two!

Look at that. We got an A.

It's practically all your work.

I hate to admit it, but you're really good at this.

You'd be surprised.

I'm good at a lot of things.

[soft music]

♪ Look right down ♪

♪ Any crowded hall ♪

♪ You'll see ♪

♪ There's a beauty standing ♪

♪ Is she really everywhere ♪

♪ Or a reflection ♪

♪ Sweet Valley ♪

♪ Sweet Valley High ♪

♪ Meet you ♪

♪ At Sweet Valley High ♪

♪ Sweet Valley ♪

♪ Sweet Valley High ♪

♪ Meet you ♪

♪ At Sweet Valley High ♪



-[cheerful music]

-[children laughing]