04x07 - The Kiss Heard Around the School

[bunniefuu]

[Liz] Previously on Sweet Valley High.

Liz?

Liz was kissing another man that was not Todd?

So you ditched Jessica.

I didn't ditch her.

It's not like we're attached at the hip.

Don't speak, just kiss me.

Why don't you stop denying the way you feel about me?

I'm not denying anything, Devon.

Can you believe my own sister would do this to me?

You didn't tell anyone Devon kissed me, did you?

Please.

Good, because you know how jealous Todd gets.

If he finds out, I don't know what he'd do.

[Brazilian accent] You did not hear about the kiss?

What kiss?

Do not tell me you are the last to know.

Maybe you are.

Renata, we need to talk.

Another time. Can't you see I'm romancing?

Why do you interrupt?

This coaxing of a man, it's delicate business.

Look, I know you're sweating Todd,

but don't tell me you spilled about Devon and Liz.

[Renata] Fine, I will not tell you.

What do you mean I'm the last to know?

I'm the last to know what?

Todd, do you mind?

We're having a little girl talk here. Please.

But she said something about a kiss.

Of course, she did.

Renata would say anything to get a guy's attention.

I would not.

That's what the shiny jewelry is for.

[Todd] But wait

-

-

Renata, there's something I have to tell you.

It's unbelievable.

That Todd and I will soon be together?

No, that it's after fourth period,

and my hair's still bouncin' and behavin'.

This is why you pulled me away from my Todd?

No, listen, you can't tell anyone that Devon kissed Liz.

It was an accident.

Their lips fell on top of each other?

Liz isn't into Devon.

So there is no hope for me and Todd?

None.

So what did you tell him?

Worry not. Todd will not find out

about Devon's kiss from me.

Oh, good.

Liz would totally freak.

But, of course, I cannot speak for the others I told.

[upbeat music]

♪ Look right down Any crowded hall ♪

♪ You'll see There's a beauty standing ♪

♪ Is she really everywhere Or a reflection ♪

♪ One always calls out to you ♪

♪ The other's shy and quiet ♪

♪ Could there be Two different girls ♪

♪ Who look the same at ♪

♪ Sweet Valley Sweet Valley High ♪

♪ Meet you At Sweet Valley High ♪

♪ Sweet Valley Sweet Valley High ♪

♪ Meet you At Sweet Valley High ♪

♪ Sweet Valley Sweet Valley High ♪

♪ Meet you At Sweet Valley High ♪

♪ Sweet Valley Sweet Valley High ♪

♪ Meet you At Sweet Valley High ♪

Is it me, or is Devon Whitelaw kind of scary?

He does walk around like he owns the place.

He's really cool once you get to know him.

So how well do you know him, Liz?

Uh, well, you know, we've spoken.

Come on, Liz, I see how he looks at you.

What's the deal with you two?

You guys have to promise not to say anything.

You can trust me. Look how long

I kept Suzy Perlman's nose job a secret.

Suzy Perlman had a nose job?

Oops.

What is it, Liz?

Devon kissed me at Ryan's party.

No way!

Does Todd know?

No, I haven't told him.

So how do you feel about Devon?

I don't know. He's totally wrong for me,

but there's just something about him.

[Cheryl] I know exactly what you're going through.

You like him because he's a bad boy.

I've been there.

Really?

Yeah, when I was in New York,

I had a crush on this wild musician.

There was something about him I couldn't resist.

What happened?

He married Whitney Houston.

Cool.

Bad boys can be fun for a while,

but that moody rebel thing gets old pretty quick.

Still, it's exciting while it lasts.

Oh, tell me about it.

Why do you think I'm attracted to Manny?

He's real bad.

Are you sure we're talking about the same Manny?

Yeah, you wouldn't believe the stuff he does.

He eats his pizza crust first,

and when he rides his bicycle,

he doesn't always wear his helmet.

No, check out these earrings he got me.

They're bad to the bone.

Well, they look like smiley faces,

but they're actually frowning.

I definitely would describe those earrings as bad.

Enid, did anyone ever tell you you have beautiful ears?

Well, Manny tells me ten times a day.

He once got jealous 'cause he saw

another guy checking out my lobes.

Guys are such hotheads.

[Liz] No kidding.

Do you know what Todd would do

if he found out Devon and I kissed?

Liz, maybe you should just tell Todd

before he finds out from someone else.

He would never understand.

I don't know what to do.

I don't want to lose Todd, but

-

-

You can't stop thinking about Devon.

Yeah.



-[girl] I got it.

-[boy] You gonna drink that?

[girl] No, what do you do?

[girl ] Put it on the side, okay?

[boy] Give me another straw.

Are you dipping your fries into barbecue sauce?

Extra spicy.

Oh! You're so bad.

[Cheryl] Hey, guys.

Hey, Cheryl, what's up?

I got a call from a friend at my old modeling agency.

They're looking for ear models. I think you'd be perfect.

Me, a model?

An ear model.

They're sh**ting a campaign for cotton swabs.

I love cotton swabs!

She does, she told me last week.

It's not a sure thing, it's just an audition.

Wow, I'd be dating a model.

I can tell all my friends I've nibbled those ears.

I better go prepare for my audition.

I've gotta brush up on my swabbing techniques.

Hold on, Enid. Don't get carried away.

Don't worry, I won't.

These ears are gonna be celebrities.

Hey, maybe you could be

in Sports Illustrated's swimsuit issue.

What? Swimmers wear earplugs.

[boy] So Todd doesn't know anything about it?



-I've been looking for you.

-I've gotta get to class.

If I didn't know better, I'd say you were avoiding me.

I don't think it's a good idea for us

to be seen hanging out together.

You know how rumors get started.

Sometimes rumors are true.

Look, Devon, I want you to leave me alone for a while.

I need time to sort things out.

And I'm supposed to just sit around and wait.

This isn't easy for me.

I've dated Todd a long time.

Maybe it's time for something new.

[somber music]

Manny, what are you doing?

My ears have to get their beauty rest for the audition.

What's gotten into you?

Shh, you don't have to yell.

I have very temperamental ears.

Since when?

Don't criticize. They need your support right now.

Enid, you're losing it.

These babies have to be beautiful

enough to sell cotton swabs.

You cannot imagine the amount of pressure they're under.

I wouldn't expect you to understand.

You have average ears.

Hey!

Not everyone's ears have star quality.

You're getting carried away.

Can't you just forget about all this modeling stuff

and go back to being yourself?

Manny, please.

I'm the same down

-to

-earth girl I've always been.

[loudly] It's my ears that have changed.

[girl] I wonder if Todd knows.

Is that him?

That's him.

[girl ] Here comes Devon.

[Devon snickers]

[chattering]

[boy] There's Wilkins.

[students whispering]

What?

Aw, it's my hair, isn't it?

I got it cut at Speedy Snips,

but it only cost me eight bucks.

Come on, you gotta pound the guy.



-Who?

-Devon Whitelaw.

What about him?

He hooked up with Liz?



-What?!

-Yeah.

The whole school is talking about it.

[bell rings]

[teacher] All right, class, take your seats.

[students chattering]

Hey, Cheryl.

Enid.

Oh, sorry.

Look, I just got my headshots back

from the photographer and I'm not sure

which one to use for the audition.

Enid, these are pictures of your ear.

I know, aren't they great?

This one's my sophisticated side,

and this one's my casual kicky look.

It says, "Frisbee in the park? I'm there."

They're both really... interesting.

Tell me the truth,

which one makes my ear look thinner?



-We need to talk.

-What's wrong with you?

I'll tell you what's wrong.

The entire basketball team is talking about you and Devon.

Look, calm down so we can talk about it

-

-

You didn't even have the decency to tell me yourself.

I was going to, but I

-

-

How could you do this to me?

And with Whitelaw. You know how much I hate that guy.

Todd, I didn't mean to hurt you.

Save it, Liz. I've heard it all before.

[dramatic music]

[punch thuds]

Did you see that?

Stay away from my girlfriend, Whitelaw.

Fine, this is the way you want it, let's go.

I've been waiting to get a piece of you for a long time.

Wilkins, Whitelaw, what's going on here?

I wanna see you both in my office, right now.

You boys should know that fighting

in school's a very serious matter.

Mr. Whitelaw, suppose you tell me

how you got that bruise on your face.

I don't know.

A mosquito bit me.

What do you have to say for yourself, Todd?

Doesn't look like he has much of anything to say.

Guess that's why Liz lost interest.

That's it, Whitelaw!

Mr. Wilkins, until further notice, you are suspended.

Cheryl, I'm so nervous for my audition.

I haven't eaten all day.

Why?

I didn't want my ears to look bloated.

What are you two babbling about?

Cheryl got me an audition to be an ear model.

What?

You got Enid a modeling job?

But what about me?

Look at these ears.

Muscular yet feminine, lean and tan.

No offense Enid, but your ears are majorly albino.

You really think they're too pale?

There's a reason Mother Nature invented tanning salons.

Cheryl made a big mistake.

Anyone can see these ears are totally sassy.

What's wrong with you?

Todd found out that Devon kissed me.

No way.

What did he do?

He went ballistic. He punched Devon,

and then Principal Cooper suspended him.

That's nothing. Cheryl got Enid a modeling audition.

Imagine the pain I'm feeling.

I just don't get it.

Me, neither. Have you seen her ears?

They're not that great.

I'm talking about Todd.

How did he find out?

Don't look at me.

When I told Renata about you and Devon,

she swore she wouldn't tell anyone.

You told Renata?

I trusted you.

I know, and I trusted Renata.

I feel so betrayed.

I can't believe you, Jess.

When will you ever learn to keep your big mouth shut?

I just don't know which hat to wear.

Sometimes it is such a bother to have a head.

It's a bigger bother to have a sister.

Liz is so unreasonable.

She thinks it's my fault Todd found out about the kiss,

and you're the only one I told.



-Well, I feel honored.

-You should.

When the gossip is that good, I usually send out flyers.

Do you mean that Todd and Liz are now broken apart?

I don't know. They're not speaking to each other.

It's way uncomfortable.

Yes, silence can be quite unnerving.

Not the silence, this hat.

You have a head the size of a lemon.

I must help Todd.

He is a wounded animal, and I a vegetarian.

I must go to him at once.

No, wait, you can't.

You are right.

This hat is much better.

Renata, come back here!

I didn't say they were breaking up!

I said they weren't speaking to each other!

Liz was right, I do have a big mouth.

But my ears are sassy.

[last of shake burbling through straw]

[girl] We're gonna get ours to go, okay?

Todd, you are the talk of the school.

Great, now everybody knows what a fool I am.

No, not everybody.

Huh?

There were many students out sick today.

You see, things could be worse.

Worse? My girlfriend cheated on me,

I'm suspended from school,

and I just sucked down eight milkshakes.

I'm lactose intolerant!

This is not worth getting this upset over.

A cubic zirconia, maybe, but not Liz.

Why don't you let Renata comfort you?

There, there, my poor Todd.

Thanks, I think I need to be by myself right now.

Okay, but I will be back here tonight

in case you need to talk.

Whatever Renata just said, forget it.

Huh?

You've gotta go talk to Liz.

I'd rather drink another milkshake.

I know she still cares about you.

Well, it seems she cares about Devon

just a little bit more.

Devon doesn't mean anything to her.



-Did she tell you that?

-She doesn't have to.

I'm her sister. I know her better than anybody.

You just gotta give her a chance to tell her side of the story.

Trust me, everything will be fine.

Have I ever given you bad advice before?

Well, you did tell me Liz wanted

a cashmere halter top for her birthday.



-And?

-She hated it.

But I love it. I wear it all the time.

[doorbell rings]

Devon, what are you doing here?

You haven't returned any of my calls.

I know, I'm sorry.

Things are really complicated right now.

They don't have to be.

How can you be so sure about us?

We're so different.

What's wrong with that?

It makes me nervous.

I never know what you're gonna do.

What I'm gonna do?

Todd's the one that tried to rearrange my teeth.

Look, maybe this is easy for you.

You don't have anything to lose.

True, but we both have something to gain.

[doorbell rings]

Todd.

Look, Liz, I know I flew off the handle yesterday.



-Oh, that's okay.

-No, it's not. I'm sorry.

Jessica told me you don't care about Devon.



-She did?

-Yeah.

But I want to hear it from you.

Do you want to go out with Devon or with me?

Todd, this isn't what it looks like.

Right.

Liz, why don't you call me when the drama dies down?

You're not gonna hurt me again, are you, tough guy?

Well, well, well, I see my work here is done.

Two lovebirds are back together.



-Jess

-

-

-That's okay.

You can thank me later.

Thanks... for nothing.

Todd, wait.

Jessica!

How ungrateful.

Some people are so rude.

Why did you send Todd over here?

I was only trying to help.

Next time, help someone else.

My ears are has

-beens.

Thanks to you, Jessica, I've been laughed

out of the ear modeling business forever.

What did I do?

I went to the tanning salon like you said.

Now my ears are so burnt, they look like chili peppers.

That's not true.

Sun

-dried tomatoes, maybe.

That's the last time I take your advice.

Face it, Jess, your mouth is a menace.

This is what I get for caring

about other people's petty problems.

From now on, my life comes first.

It won't be easy, but I'm gonna focus

all my attention on me.



-This is so great, thanks.

-Yeah.

I'm sorry I got so mad at you the other day, Manny.

The doctor said when I get my bandages off,

you can resume heavy nibbling.

I can't wait!

Yup, these ears were made for nibblin'.

Enid, I never noticed how beautiful your hands are.

The webs between your fingers are so sexy.

Oh, Manny, you're so bad.

Hey, Jessica, you want to hear what Manny just told me?

Stop right there, not one more word.

Hey, Jessica, did you hear what happened in class today?

Not listening!

Hey, Jess, you're not gonna believe

what I have to tell you.

Stop it, stop it.

When are you people gonna learn

I'm not interested in your pathetic little lives?

Ha!

It's too bad. I was gonna tell her

about the audition I got her with Calvin Klein.

Oh, well.

[rock ballad playing]

[Todd] Hey, Renata.

Todd, at last you have arrived.

I'm surprised you're still here.

Well, they say that true love is worth waiting for,

and that the road to romance is paved with

-

-

Renata.

This is huge.

I've gotta tell Liz.

Wait, must use restraint.

Will not gossip.

Must restrain.

Must gossip.

Must gossip!

[phone beeping]

Liz, it's Jessica. You're not gonna believe this.

[soft music]

♪ Look right down ♪

♪ Any crowded hall ♪

♪ You'll see ♪

♪ There's a beauty standing ♪

♪ Is she really everywhere ♪

♪ Or a reflection ♪

♪ Sweet Valley ♪

♪ Sweet Valley High ♪

♪ Meet you ♪

♪ At Sweet Valley High ♪

♪ Sweet Valley ♪

♪ Sweet Valley High ♪

♪ Meet you ♪

♪ At Sweet Valley High ♪



-[cheerful music]

-[children laughing]