06x09 - Cliff's Wet Adventure

[bunniefuu]

( Telephone Ringing )

Hello?

Sondra, Hi.

We Are Working Through
And I Hope We Make It.

We've Never Had People
For Thanksgiving Before.

And We Never Will Again.

How's Turkey Number Two?

Oh, Great.

With Our Bird, That Makes
Pounds Of Turkey.

Your Grandmother's Making A Mess
Of Collard Greens And Ham Hocks.

Martin And Your Grandfather
Are Busy In The Basement.

Don't Forget About Us.

Yeah, The Piemakers.

And The Girls Are Up
To Their Ears In Dough.

I Got To Get Off,
This Is w*r.

Bye.

( Thunder )

How Did The Shopping Go?

You Sent Me Out On Thanksgiving

To Get Things From The Store.

Every Store Is Closed.

I Drove Miles.

Finally Found A Place
Called The Lucky Stop Market.

They Had A Line
Of People

Longer Than Something
To See Batman.

But You Forgot Canned Pumpkin
For The Pumpkin Pie.

You Never Asked Me To Get
Canned Pumpkin.

Honey, I Did Ask You.

I Told You To Write It Down.

You Said, "I Don't Need
A List, It's All Up Here."

Are You Making Sweet Potato Pie?

Yes.
Yes.

You Got Sweet Potato Pie.

People Don't Know The Difference
Between That And Pumpkin Pie.

Just Put Some Whip Cream On
And Tell Them It's Pumpkin.

Come On, Dad.

You Can't Have Thanksgiving
Without Real Pumpkin Pie.

Heathcliff, You Also
Forgot The Nutmeg.

You Got Nutmeg Here.

This Is Not Fresh.

Now We're Making
Traditional Eggnog

And We Need
Fresh Nutmeg.

Honey, Please,
Go Get Some Nutmeg.

You Gonna Send Me All The Way
Back Out There For A Nut?

There Are Other Things
You Forgot, Honey.

Like Canned Pumpkin.

And You Forgot
The Eggs

I Need For Corn Bread.

You Want A Dozen Eggs

A Can Of Pumpkin

And A Nut.

Nutmeg.

( Thunder )

I'm Ready To Help.

Great.

Put This Over There
And Help Set The Table.

Who Made These?

Denise Thought It Would Be Cute
To Have Place Settings

So I'm Putting Name Tags
Where Everybody's Sitting.

Mom, You Put Me At A Table
Between Rudy And Olivia?

So You Could Help Serve
The Little Ones.

You Don't Know What This Means.

I'm At The Children's Table
Again.

Vanessa.

All Those Thanksgiving
We Had At Grandma's

I Always Sat At
The Children's Table.

And When I Complained
You Said

"Vanessa, When You're An Adult,
You Can Sit With The Adults."

I'm Now, I'm Adult.

And You s*ab Me In The Back.

Vanessa, That Is Not
A Children's Table.

How Can You Look Me
In The Eye

And Say This Is Not
A Children's Table?

This Is
A Card Table.

I'll Be Surrounded By Infants.

You'll Be Talking About
The World And Politics.

I'll Be Here Cutting Up Turkey
And Wiping People's Noses.

Hello, Everybody.

Here, Mom, I've Got
The Other Turkey In The Car.

Do You Need Any Help?

No, I'm Ready
For Thanksgiving.

I've Got My Pound Butterball
Right Here.

That Is Rain.

What's In The Casserole?

Old Jamaican Favorite.

Curried Goat.

Curried Goat?

Can't Wait.

Dad, Help.

This Way, Son.

Which Way?

Bank To The Right.

Lester, I Told You.

We Should've Put That
In Smaller Bowls.

But Look At It,
It's Beautiful.

How Did You Get
That In The Car?

We Strapped It
To The Roof.

Hello, Denise.

Olivia.

Where Am I?

This Way, Elvin.

Hey.

Where's This Go?

The Men Are Downstairs
Getting Their Stuff Ready

So You Guys
Should Go Down.

See That, Dad?

In The Basement Again
This Year.

These Women Just Don't
Trust Us To Cook.

Got Your Pinchers Ready?

Pinchers Ready.

Okay Then,
Pinch Away.

Pinch, Pinch...

( Telephone Ringing )

Keep Pinching.

Okay, Pinch, Pinch.

( Ringing )

Hello?

Paula.

Is That My Mommy?

Yeah.

Hi.

You're At The Airport.

How Long Are You There For?

Six Hours,
Are You Kidding?

She's Right Here,
Hold On.

Olivia, It's Your Mom.

Oh.

Hold On.

Hi, Mommy.

Do You Want To Hear
My Thanksgiving Song?

♪ It's Thanksgiving Time ♪

♪ Its Turkey Time ♪

♪ His Name Is Tom ♪

♪ He's A Bird ♪

♪ That's The Word ♪

♪ Tom's A Bird. ♪

Thank You, Mom.

See You In Two Weeks.

Bye.

No, Wait, Hello?

Paula, I Have A Great Idea.

Why Don't You Come Here
For Thanksgiving?

No, I Insist.

We're Just Having
The Family Over.

You're Coming, Okay?

Great.

Tell The Cab Driver
Brooklyn Heights

And We're At Stigwood Avenue.

Okay?

See You In A Half-Hour.

Bye.

Mommy's Coming Over?

Yeah.

All Right.

I'm Gonna Put On
My Good Dress.

Well, Okay.

Oh, Yay!

Why's She So Excited?

Guess Who I Just
Invited To Dinner.

Who?

Paula.

Paula, Paula...

A Friend Of Yours?

Paula.

Your Ex-Wife, Paula.

You Invited My Ex-Wife
Over For Thanksgiving Dinner?

She Was Flying Through
To Atlanta

But Her Connection Was Cancelled
Because Of The Weather.

Come On, You Guys Get Along.

Yeah, But I Guess I Never
Thought I'd Be Having Dinner

With My Wife

And My Ex-Wife.

I Think It's Great.

I Finally Get To Meet Her.

Denise, Did You Ever Think

That Maybe I Would
Be Uncomfortable?

That Maybe You Would
Be Uncomfortable?

Everybody Would
Be Uncomfortable?

If Anyone Should Be
Uncomfortable, It Would Be Me

And I'm Fine.

Come On.

Okay.

Denise, You
Constantly Amaze Me.

What Other Woman Would Welcome,
With Open Arms

Her Husband's Former Wife
To A Big Family Occasion.

I Think That Maybe
That Is Why I Love You.

Mmm.

Oh, In The Kitchen,
Of All Places.

Oh.

Mom, Olivia's Mom Was Delayed
At The Airport

So I Invited Her.

Is That Okay?

You're Comfortable With That?

What's The Big Deal?

Martin's Married To Me.

He Loves Me.

I've Nothing To Be
Insecure About.

If She Makes Any Moves,
She's Dead.

Oh!

( Screams )

There's Your Dumb Canned Pumpkin

Your Stupid Eggs

And Your Silly Nut.

Nutmeg.

And Thank You.

Could You Take Those
Wet Things Off

Before You Catch A Cold?

There Are No Eggs In Here.

There's Eggs In There.

I Put Eggs In, I Bought Eggs.

I Don't Care What
That Bag Says

There's Eggs In There.

The Receipt Says
"Canned Pumpkin" And "Nutmeg."

It Says Nothing About Eggs.

You Forgot
The Eggs Again.

How Can I Make Corn Bread
Without Eggs?

People Don't Need Corn Bread.

Let Them Eat Soda Crackers.

Hey, Cliffy.

Hey, Dad.

How You Doing?

Hope You Don't Mind

But There Won't Be Corn Bread.

That's One Of My Favorites,
Your Homemade Corn Bread.

I'd Be A Happy Man

If All I Ate On Thanksgiving
Was Your Corn Bread.

Oh, Hello, I'm So Glad
You're Here.

Are You Going Back
To The Market?

I Forgot Tomatoes
In The Salad.

A Salad Without Tomatoes.

That's Like Having
No Corn Bread.

All That's Keeping Us
From Corn Bread Is Eggs.

I Heard The Doorbell Ring.

Is Paula Here?

No, That Was Kenny.

Oh, Well, You Call Me
When She Comes.

We'll All Be In The Kitchen,
Working.

Well, What Does
She Look Like?

I Don't Know,
That Was Kenny.

I'm Very Curious
To Meet This Woman.

What Kind Of Person Leaves
A Marriage

And A Beautiful Little Girl?

It's A Crazy World.

Ever Since Elvis And Priscilla
Split Up

Things Haven't Been The Same.

You Know,
I Think

When Paula Comes,
We Should Greet Her

So She Doesn't Think
We're Avoiding Her.

If We All Go In

It May Look Like
We're Checking Her Out.

Dad, I Totally Agree.

Let's Just Hang Back.

Martin Will Need
Time To Adjust

To Paula Being Here.

I Would If My Ex-Wife
Showed Up.

What Do You Mean,
"Ex-Wife?"

I'm Your Only Wife.

Are You Saying
You Want An Ex-Wife?

No, If I Ever Had
An Ex-Wife

It Would Be Another
Woman, Not You.

( Doorbell Ringing )

Whoa, Whoa, That's Her.

Okay.

Hello, Martin.

You Must Be Denise.

Hi.

How Do You Do?

Hi, Paula,
This Is Denise.

My Wife.

She Just Said
This Must Be Denise.

Well, She
Was Right.

Is It All Right, My Coming?

I Mean Family And...

My Family's Delighted
To Have You Here.

Thanks.

Martin, You Look Good.

Thanks, You Look
Good Yourself.

And Denise, Baby,
You Look Fantastic.

Mommy, Mommy.

Sweetie, Come Here.

Darling, Hurry Up.

Goodness Gracious.

Wow, Look At You.

It's Only Been Three Months
And You're So Big.

Denise Cooks For Me.

She Does?

Yes, And I'm
Still Alive.

What's Going On?

Olivia's Hugging Paula.

Really?

Does Olivia Like Her?

She's Smiling.

Mom, Don't You Feel
A Little Funny

Eavesdropping?

No.

I'm Making You
A Present.

You Are?

But It's Not Ready.

I Need Five More
Minutes, Okay?

Okay, I'll Be
Right Here.

Daddy, You Come
And Help Me.

Okay, Miss Bug-A-Boo,
Be Right Up.

Bye, Sweetheart.

Okay, I Gotta
Go Upstairs.

That Means The Two Of You
Will Be By Yourselves

Is That Okay?

Martin, Would You Go?

Let Us Talk.

You're Incredible,
Incredible.

So, Sit Down.

Nice Place.

I'm Glad Olivia Is Living
In Such A Beautiful Home.

Thanks, This Is Where I Grew Up.

I Must Admit Though

I Am A Little Uncomfortable
Being Here.

I See That, Would You Relax?

Just Relax.

You'll Fit Right In.

Hi, I'm Claire, Denise's Mother

And This Is Our Family.

I'm Sondra,
Denise's Older Sister.

Elvin,
Sondra's Husband.

Francine,
Elvin's Mother.

Lester, Father Of Elvin.

Grandma Anna.

Her Husband,
Grandpa Russell.

Cliff Is My Husband,
Denise's Father.

It's Nice To Meet You All.

All:
Nice To Meet You, Too.

We're Going Back
In The Kitchen.

We've Got A Lot To Do.

Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.

What A Nice Family.

They Don't Usually
Travel In Packs.

They're Usually Roaming Around
Separately.

My Family's Like That, Too.

So...

I've Heard A Lot About You.

And Me You.

I'm Curious

What Martin's Said.

That You Were Bright
And A Good Student.

And That You Seemed Happy At
The Beginning Of Your Marriage

And Then, You Announced
This Wasn't For You

And You Left.

Let Me Explain To You
What Happened.

I've Spent Most Of My Life
Looking Over My Shoulder.

And I've Always Tried
To Do What Everyone Wanted

Like School.

I Wanted To Major In Sociology.

But My Parents Said

"What Will You Do
With Sociology?"

So Then I Majored In Accounting.

In My Senior Year,
My Parents Say

"When Are You Going
To Get Married?"

So I Meet A Graduate
Of The Naval Academy

Who They Loved

And So We Got Married.

Then They Say, "When
Are You Going To Have A Baby?"

Then I Put Everything On Hold
And I Had Olivia.

Then It All Started
To Close In.

I Couldn't Breathe.

I Had To Get Out.

So, As Painful As It Was

And As Hurtful As It Was

Martin Understood
And He Let Me Go.

Of Course
I Felt Guilty

Leaving Olivia
And Leaving Martin

And Even Disappointing
My Parents

But It's What I Had To Do.

So I've Been
Seeing A Psychiatrist.

And She's Been Helping Me
Get Everything Back Together.

And I've Even Gone Back
To School

I'm Majoring In Sociology.

I'm Just Grateful
That I Can See Olivia.

And That She's Got Someone
Like You Raising Her.

You're Wonderful.

And I Can See Why
She Likes You So Much.

Thank You.

That's The Way
It Is.

Thanks For Sharing
That With Me.

Mommy

Your Present's Ready,
But I Didn't Wrap It.

Okay, Honey,
Let Me See.

Now This Is Beautiful.

It's Me.

I Thought So, Darling.

You're Not Only
Beautiful

But You're
Extremely Talented.

Wow, And I Didn't Help You
One Bit.

This Is A Masterpiece.

I Woulda Made One For You,
But You See Me Every Day.

Dad.

I'm Not Going Back Out There.

This Is Paula,
Olivia's Mom.

How Are You?

Pleasure To Meet You.

You Staying
For Dinner?

I Was Invited.

I'm Not Going
Back Out There.

Whoa!

The Weather Out There
Is Unbelievable.

They Cancelled Our Flight.

We Can't Go Skiing
Until Tomorrow.

If Not For Theo

I'd Have No Place To Go Today.

Howard And Denny's Parents
Went Out Of Town.

So I Invited Them
For Thanksgiving Dinner.

Is That Okay?

I'm Not Going Back Out There.

Go, Go, Go!

I Told You.

All Right, Let's Eat.

You Men Turn That
Game Off.

Just Let Me See
If They Score.

No Game.

Lester, Turn It Off.

Aw, Come On.

I Got To Do It.

I Live With Her.

Sondra, Dinner.

Cliff, You Can Come Down, Too.

Dad's Not Here, Mom.

You Said He Spilled Eggs
On The Floor.

He Went Back Out.

You Didn't Tell Me He Went Back.

I Thought You'd Figure It Out.

Oh...

Ready To Eat?

We Have To Wait.

Do We Have To,
I'm Hungry.

Kenny, What Are You
Doing Here?

Rudy Invited Me.

Didn't You Have Dinner
At Your House?

Yes, But I Have A Lot

To Be Thankful For.

Can I Stay?

I Guess So.

Sit Over There.

Let's Get This Food
Back Inside

Before It Gets Cold.

All:
Aw...

Yeah!

( Applause And Cheering )

Oh, Poor Thing.

How Did You Get
Corn Bread Without Eggs?

Honey, I Borrowed The Eggs
From Next Door.

Russell?

Heavenly Father...

You Got That Right.

Heavenly Father, Thank You
For Gathering Us

To Celebrate The Blessings
You've Given Us.

We Want To Thank You
For The New Additions

Who Are With Us Today.

Olivia.

Martin And Paula.

And Dear Lord

While We Partake
Of This Meal

Which Has Been
So Lovingly Prepared

Let Us Remember

Those Who Don't Have
A Place To Sleep

Or Enough Food To Eat.

And Those Of Us

Who've Been Out
In The Rain All Day.

And We Ask In Your Name

To Continue To Bless Us
With Good Health

And Allow Us To Gather Again

Next Year.

Amen.

All:
Amen.

Let's Have
Some Food.

Could You Put
Those Wet Things

On The Stoop, Please?