06x13 - Elvin Pays for Dinner

[bunniefuu]

Sondra?

As Soon As

Theo And The Girls Get Here

We Should Leave.

Our Reservation Is
In Half An Hour.

Iris Is Always On Time.

Elvin, How Does This Sound?

You're Not Dressed?

This Essay Isn't Right.

How Can I Enter Law School

When I Can't Write
A Personal Statement?

A Nice Evening Out
Will Clear Your Head.

You're Gonna Love Iris.

You Guys Are Gonna
Hit It Off Great.

( Doorbell Ringing )

Okay, I'll Go Get Ready.

Thank You.

Hey!

♪ My Name Is Van ♪

♪ They Call Me Rue ♪

♪ And We Are Here
To Baby Sit For You. ♪

Hooooo!

Elvin, I Told 'Em
It Was Stupid.

It Was Not Stupid,
It Was Great.

Come On In.

Thank You, Elvin.

I Can't Stay.

Dad Wants The Car.

I Hope Your Vcr Works.

I Picked Up Some Movies
For Us.

Vanessa's Really Into
Those Old Movies.

Most Aren't Even In Color.

You're Gonna Love These.

They Are So Glamorous.

People Wore Tuxedos
To Do Everything.

Even To Get The Newspaper.

And They Were Always Jumping
Into These Big Taxicabs

And Saying, "Follow That Car."

And They Got To Go
To Nightclubs

With Big, Shiny Dance Floors

And Orchestras, And--

Linen Tablecloths.

Now That Is My Style.

So What Are You Doing?

Going To Dinner With A Friend
And Her Sister.

You're Taking Sondra To Dinner
With An Old Girlfriend?

Iris Wasn't A Girlfriend.

We Went To School Together.

She Did Take Me To A Dance
When I Didn't Have Money.

After That,
We Just Studied Together.

Then I Met Your Sister,
And We Lost Touch.

Is She Cute?

Yeah, I Guess.

Wait A Minute.

She Was Cute

And You Only Went
To The Library?

Come On, You Guys

Do You Write For The Tabloids?

We're Just Friends.

It Is Possible To Be Friends
With An Attractive Woman.

Hasn't It Happened
To You, Theo?

Yeah,
But It Wasn't My Choice.

Hey, Everybody.

Theo:
Hey, What's Up?

♪ My Name Is Van ♪

♪ They Call Me Rue ♪

♪ And We Are Here
To Baby Sit For You. ♪

Hooooo!

Hey, I Love That.

Sondra, You Aren't Dressed?

I Can't Go.

I Figured Out
How To Fix My Essay.

I Have Some Great Ideas.

But We Planned This A Week Ago

And Iris Wants To Meet You.

I Can Meet Her
The Next Time She's Here.

Well, I Know The Application
Is Important, But...

Okay. Okay.

I Will Call Her

Cancel And Stay Home
With You Tonight.

No, You Should
Go To Dinner.

If You Don't Go,
I Don't Go.

Honey, That's Ridiculous.

Why Should You Be Stuck?

Have A Good Time.

Okay, I Will.

Does That Mean
We Don't Get To Baby Sit?

No, You're Staying.

While I'm Working

You Keep An Eye On
Winnie And Nelson.

All Right.
All Right.

All I Ask Is That
You Be Home By :

To Take Rudy
And Vanessa Home.

I Promised I'd
Have Them Back Early.

I'll Be Home
: The Latest.

( Mouth Full )
Hey, Elvin.

I Was Just
Going Back Home

But I Can Drop You
At The Restaurant.

Great.

Work Hard, Honey.

I Can't Wait To Read
That Brilliant Essay.

Have A Good Time,
Sweetheart.

Sondra, I Cannot Believe
What You Just Did.

What?

You Sent Your Husband
Out On A Date

With Another Woman.

Elvin Isn't On A Date.

She's An Old Friend.

That's What Joseph Cotten

Said About Joan Fontaine

In September Affair.

Hi, Dr. Huxtable.

Hi, Honey, Mm-Mmmm.

Aren't You Getting
Ready For Bed?

In A Minute.

But First I Have To See
How Tall I Am

Before I Go To Sleep.

I Measured You Yesterday.

Fine, But I Want You
To Measure Me Again

Before I Go To Sleep.

But I Just Measured You
Yesterday

And You Were
Inches Tall.

I Put It On The Wall
Over There.

I Grew, I Can Feel It.

But You, You Didn't Grow, Hon.

Yes, I Did.

I'm Telling You,
You Didn't Grow.

I Know My Body.

Measure Me.

Okay.

All Right,
Go On Over There.

I'll Measure You.

Okay, Here's The Mark
From Yesterday.

Now, This Was Less Than
Hours, Okay?

All Right Now.

Got The Same Shoes On?

Yes, My Tennis Shoes.

All Right, Fine.

Put Your Head Back.

All Right, Here We Go.

Now, This Is The Mark, And...

Well, That's Impossible.

What? What?

You're, You're An Inch Taller
Than You Were Yesterday.

All Right!

I Told You.

I Know My Body.

Clair!

Clair.

I Measured
Her Yesterday.

I Measured Her Just Now.

She's An Inch Taller
Than She Was Yesterday.

That Doesn't
Surprise Me A Bit.

Olivia's
An Exceptional Child.

Wow! That's
Very Good, Olivia.

Keep Up The Good Work.

I Just Measured Her

Less Than Hours Ago.

Well, Dad,
Maybe We Understand Things

That Doctors Don't.

If The Child Grows
At This Rate

Do You Realize That By April
She'll Be Feet Tall?

Honey, You're Getting
Overly Excited

For No Good Reason.

See, Denise And I Understand

That Children Have These Sudden
Spurts Of Growth.

They Do.

Especially When You Put Tissue
In Their Shoes.

All:
Gotcha!

I Know My Body!

And You, A Doctor...

Yes.

Actually Believed

A Child Could Grow
An Inch A Day.

Well, I Mean,
I Would, I Would...

You Got To Admit
That's A Good "Gotcha."

No.

Gotcha!

What's So Funny?

Yesterday, Your Father
Measured Olivia

And He Measured Her Again Today

And She Was An Inch Taller.

Where Did He Measure Her?

In The Kitchen, Honey.

Against The Wall.

Was She In The Same Place?

Yes.

The Same Shoes?

Yes.

And She Put

Tissue In Her Shoes.

Why Would She Do That?

Never Mind.

Well, Dad,
I Brought Your Keys Back To You.

Thank You.

I Must Say Sondra
Surprised Me Tonight.

She And Elvin Were
Going To Dinner

With An Old Girlfriend
Of Elvin's

And Her Sister.

Anyway, At The Last Minute

Sondra Decided
She Wasn't Gonna Go

Because She Had To Work
On Her Law School Application.

He Never Even Checked Her Shoes.

Anyway...

Sondra Insisted That Elvin Go.

Isn't That Unbelievable?

Her Shoes.

Elvin's One Lucky Guy.

See You Guys Later.

Tissue Paper, Huh?

Well, I Just See
Some Trouble On The Horizon

For My Man, Elvin.

I'm Sorry.

There Was Just A Little Left.

It's Gone Now.

See, Elvin Is In Big Trouble.

Why? What Did It He Do?

She Told Him To Go.

Doesn't Make Any Difference
What His Wife Told Him.

The Boy Went Out
With Two Women

And Left The Wife At Home
With Two Babies

And She Had To Fill Out
A Law School Application.

You Are Not Suggesting
You Understand

A Woman's Point Of View
Better Than I Do?

What I'm Saying

Is That Elvin Understands
Less Than All Of Us.

And He's Going To Be
In Big Trouble.

And Another Thing--

I Knew About The Tissue
In The Shoe.

Oh, No.

I Gotcha.

Gotcha, Gotcha, Gotcha.

I Didn't Have A Dollar.

You Sister Took Pity On Me.

She Said, "Go As My Guest."

I Didn't Know He Was Going
To Get So Thirsty Inside.

I Spent Another $ .
On Refreshments.

It's Late.

It's : .

Sondra Wants To Meet You.

And I Want You
To See The Babies.

She Won't Be Upset
That It's So Late?

No, When I Called Her
From The Restaurant

She Said,
"Stay, Enjoy Yourselves."

Sondra's The Kind Of Person

Who Enjoys Others
Enjoying Themselves.

You'll See When
You Meet Her.

Look, Why Don't You Guys
Make Yourselves At Home

And We'll Be Right Out.

Honey, I'm Back.

Yes, You Are.

Sorry I'm A Little Late.

Time Just Flew By.

Did It?

We Were Just Talking Over
Old Times And Stuff.

Iris's Sister Is
Really Fascinating.

She's An Engineer,
She Builds Bridges.

Anyway, We Were Just Talking

And They Ordered
Some Wine...

You Were Drinking Wine?

No, You Know
I Don't Drink Wine.

I Had A Scotch.

You Had A Scotch?

It Seemed Like The Thing To Do.

But I Told Them
To Put A Lot Of Ice In It.

I Suppose You Smoked
A Cigarette, Too.

No.

I Just Lit It
And Let It Sit

In The Ashtray.

Now It's Clear

Why You Didn't
Come Home When You Promised.

When I Called, You Said

"Stay And Enjoy Yourselves."

Well, You Stayed, All Right.

I Stayed Another Half Hour

Then I Paid And We Left.

You Paid The Check?

I Wanted To.

Once In College,
Iris Paid My Way Into A Dance.

Want To Know What Went On Here
While You Were On The Town?

No. Yeah. Uh, I'm Not Sure.

Well, At :

When You Promised
You Would Be Back

I Had To Stop Working

Bundle The Twins

Drive Rudy And Vanessa Home

And Then Drive Back.

I Then Spent
The Next Half Hour

Getting The Twins To Sleep

And Then Another Half Hour
Trying To Calm Down

So I Could Work
On This Essay.

Honey, Why Didn't You Send
Vanessa And Rudy Home In A Cab?

Elvin, Because
It Costs Money.

I Guess That's Something
You Don't Think About

Since You Were Out
Spending It

On Food, Drink
And Women.

Now, If You'll Excuse Me

I Would Like To Get Back
To Writing My Essay.

Sweetheart,
Before You Do That...

Iris And Judy Are,
Are In The...

In The Living Room.

They Would Like
To Meet You.

You Brought
Them Here?

They Wanted To Meet You.

Could You Come Out
For A Minute?

No.

If You Don't
Come Out

What Am I Going
To Say To Them?

Why Don't You
Have A Scotch?

Maybe Something
Will Come To You.

Sure You Don't
Want To Come Out?

Well, Um...

Sondra Can't
Come Out After All.

She's Asleep.

Elvin, We Heard Her,
She Sounds Upset.

Yeah, Well...

She Talks In Her Sleep.

She's Under A Lot Of Stress
Right Now.

She's Applying To Law School.

Maybe We
Should Leave.

Maybe.

But Next Time You
Come To Town

We'll Get Together.

She'll Be Real Sorry
She Missed You.

It Was Nice
Meeting You.

We Had
A Great Time.

Hello.

Sondra!

You Woke Up!

Sondra, Um, Well.

Iris, Judy,
This Is My Wife, Sondra.

We've Heard A Lot
About You.

I Hope We Didn't
Get Elvin In Trouble

Keeping Him Out.

Oh, No, No.

I Understand What It's Like
When Old Friends Get Together.

You Do?

Absolutely.

I'm Just Happy

That All Of You
Had Such A Good Time.

Oh...

Well, We Did.

Sitting Around
With Iris

Brought Back Memories
Of College.

Tell Sondra
About The Time

You Lent Me Money
For The Dance.

Elvin Was Broke, And I Ended Up
Spending $ .

On Our
Evening Out.

Oh, That's Great.

That Elvin.

We'll Be In Town Next Spring.

Maybe We Can Get Together.

Oh, I'd Like That.

We've Got
A Long Trip.

We Should
Hit The Road.

Good Night, Sondra.

Elvin, Thanks
For Buying Dinner.

Nice Meeting You.

Oh, You, Too.

Drive Safely.

Good Luck On
Your Law Exam!

Aren't They Great?

I Knew You'd Like Them.

When We Came In,
They Said

"Are You Sure Sondra
Won't Be Angry?"

And I Said,
"No, Not My Sondra."

I Really
Appreciate The Way

You Expressed Your Anger
In There

And Then Came Out

And Were So Open To Them.

It Really Means
A Lot To Me.

You Really Mean
A Lot To Me.

You're My Special,
Special Muffin.

Muffin?

Muffin?

( Movie Music )

( Sniffling )

Oh, Vanessa,
You're Right.

I Love These Movies.

Didn't This Remind You
Of Sondra And Elvin?

Yeah.

Gene Tierney Seemed Okay

At The Beginning Of The Movie.

But When Cornel Wilde
Fell In Love With Jeanne Crain

It Freaked
Gene Tierney Out.

I Know.

She Started k*lling Everybody.

Do You Think Sondra
Will k*ll Elvin?

Rudy, Sondra Would Never
k*ll Elvin.

Sondra Has A Bad Temper
Sometimes.

You're Right.

In Fact, Her Temper's
A Lot Like Gene Tierney's

In The Movie.

Hi, Rudy,
Hi, Vanessa.

Sondra?

Yes?

Where's Elvin?

Don't Talk To Me
About Elvin.

( Everyone Talking At Once )

Now We're Talking Medicine.

I Was Really Nervous
But I Did A Good Job.

Let Me Look
At It For You?

Could You
Pass The Sugar?

So, Anyway...

Thank You.

I'm Worried
Because They're Placing

Much More Emphasis On The Essays
At Law Schools These Days.

Sorry To Interrupt You Again.

Could You Pass
The Cream?

Thank You.

( Imitating Wind Blowing )

Well, This, Uh...

This Was A Delicious Dinner.

Good As The One
You Had Last Night?

Much Better, In Fact.

Last Night's Dinner
Was Not Very Good At All.

This Was So Great,
I'd Like To Do The Dishes.

Elvin, You
Don't Have To.

I Insist.

Mom, Can We Go And Talk
In The Living Room?

It's A Little Noisy In Here.

If You Like.

Yeah, That Sounds
Like A Great Idea.

Why Don't You Ladies
Just Go In There And--

Chat A Bit And--

Dad.

Sondra Has Not Spoken To Me

Or Looked At Me
Since Last Night.

Well, I Heard What You Did
Last Night.

Dad, I Didn't Really
Do Anything Wrong.

I Mean, I Came In A Little Late,
But I Called Her.

She Said,
"Stay And Enjoy Yourselves."

Two Women.

Dad, When Sondra Said
She Couldn't Go To Dinner

I Told Her
That I Would Stay Home.

And She Said,
I Remember Exactly--

She Said, "You Should Go
And Have A Good Time."

Then I Told Her Again
I'd Stay Home.

And She Said, "Go."

Three Times, Dad, We Did This

And Finally I Said,
"Okay, I'll Go."

And I Went.

With Two Women.

You Know, You...

You Are A Very Intelligent Man

But You Are Dumb.

What Do You Mean, Dumb?

Two Women, Man!

Do You Think That Sondra
Wanted You To Go?

She Said To Go.

It Doesn't Make Any Difference
If She Says "Go."

If Your Wife Says "Go," You
Should Know She Meant "No."

That's Your Job!

What's My Job?

Your Job Is To Know

That When Your Wife Says "Yes,"
She Means "No."

Dad, To Do That,
I'd Have To Be Psychic.

Dad, That's Impossible.

How Should I Know
Whether She Means Yes Or No?

Let Me Put It To You This Way.

Let's Say That
Three Weeks, A Year From Now...

A Female That You...

Used To Just Sit
And Have Coffee With...

Calls Up And Says,
"How About Dinner?"

Your Wife Says

"I'm Busy,
But Darling...

You Go."

What Are You Going To Do?

I'm Going To Be Psychic.

So At : , I Had To Stop
Working On My Essay

Get Dressed,
Bundle Up The Twins

Drive Here, Drop Off
Rudy And Vanessa

And Then Drive Back.

Then I Spent Another Half Hour

Getting The Babies
Back To Sleep.

When He Promised
To Be Home By : .

Sondra, You're Going
To Make A Wonderful Attorney.

Why's That?

You Summed Up A Case

That Is So Airtight

Not Only Would The Jury
Convict Him

They'd Lock Him Up For Good.

I'm Glad You Agree.

I Didn't Say That.

See, I Think You're

As Much To Blame As Elvin.

Probably Even More.

What?

Sit Down.

When Elvin Suggested

He Stay Home
And Not Go To Dinner

You Told Him To Go.

That's Right.

So, Were You Annoyed

He Went With Two Women?

No.

This Is Me You're Talking To.

Did It Bother You

He Was Going With Two Women?

Okay, Maybe A Little.

But You Insisted That He Go.

Well, Yes.

I Thought He Would
Insist Harder To Stay.

You Told Him To Go.

Yes, But...

You Were Not Honest

With Him Or Yourself.

So When He Came Home Late

You Went From Being Bothered
To Angry.

And When He Brought Those
Two Women In The House

You Went From Being Angry
To Furious.

Now I Would Suggest

You Declare w*r On Your Husband

You Better Take Stock
In Yourself

And See What Part You Had
In Starting It.

Well, Maybe I Should Go In
And Help Him Wash.

Sit Down.

Don't Forget

The Man Was Late.

And The Women Were Attractive.

I Forgot
To Tell You

He Paid For Their Dinner, Also.

We'll Make Him Wash The Pots
For That, Too.

Okay, Car's Out Front, Let's Go.

Don't Want To Be Late.

Oh, Elvin, Could You
Do Me A Favor?

Instead Of Us Driving To
The Hospital And Dropping You

Could You Drop Us Off
At The Apartment First?

Yeah, Sure, Hon.

I'm Really Tired.

Anything You
Want, Honey.

Thank You, Sweetheart.

Bye-Bye.

Bye.

Did You See That?

They Must've Made Up.

They're In Love Again.

Isn't Love Wonderful?

Wait A Minute.

What?

In The Movie Conflict

Humphrey Bogart Pretends
To Be In Love With His Wife

But He's Actually In Love
With Alexis Smith.

So He Rigs The Brakes
To His Wife's Car

To Give Out On A Hill.

Sondra Asked Elvin
To Be Dropped Off First.

Elvin's Going To Be In The Car

All Alone.

Mom!
Mom!