06x20 - Isn't It Romantic?

[bunniefuu]

This Is The Best Elevator Music
I've Ever Heard.

The Temple-North Carolina Game
Is Starting.

That Should Be Great.

Hey, What's Up?

You Were Supposed
To Help Us In The Yard.

I'm Sorry.

I Slept Through The Alarm.

I Was Up Late Last Night.

Studying Or Justine-Ing?

With Justine.

Oh.
Oh.

It Wasn't That.

Justine Got This New
Multi-Disc Cd Player.

We Put In Six Cds,
Listened To Music

And Just Held Each Other.

And When The Cds Ran Out,
You Let Go.

No.

Then We Talked
Until The Sun Came Up.

Oh, That's Very Nice.

Things Are Going
So Well Between Us.

Whenever We're Together,
The Vibes Are Just Powerful.

I've Never Seen One Of Those
Multi-Disc Cd Players.

You Can Actually
Put Six Cds In?

Wait.

Time Out.

I Can't
Believe You Guys.

I'm Sitting Here Talking
About Justine And Romance

And All You Care About
Is Her Cd Player?

So What?

You Can't Say Anything
To Us, Man

Until You're In The % Club.

What's The % Club?

We Are Married
And We Love Our Wives %.

Until You Love Your Woman %,
You Can't Get In This Club.

But Justine And I
Have A Wonderful Relationship

As It Stands.

I'm Not Getting
Married Now

Because I Don't Want To End Up

In The Marriage
Graveyard.

Marriage Graveyard?

That's Where The Romance Goes
To Die.

What Are You Saying?

I Don't See The Romance
With You Guys Anymore.

Be Honest.

When Was The Last Time
You Gave Your Wives

A Long Passionate Kiss?

All The Time.

Not When I'm Around.

Am I Supposed To Call You
Every Time I Kiss My Wife?

I Was Over Here
The Other Day.

You Came Back
From The Store.

You Hadn't
Seen Denise All Day.

You Pecked Her
On The Cheek

And Went In The Kitchen.

Marriage Graveyard.

Theo, I Was Carrying Groceries.

Put The Groceries Down
And Kiss The Woman.

And, Elvin...

Hey, Man...

Now Sondra And I
Don't Live Here

So Don't Give Me Any Comments
About How I Romance My Wife.

Elvin, Last Week
I Was At Your House.

After Dinner, We Sat Down
To Watch Your Movie.

You Put Your Head
In Sondra's Lap

And You Fell Asleep...

Snoring Loudly.

Marriage Graveyard.

I Don't Remember That.

And, Dad...

There's No "And, Dad."

I Have Five Children.

I Don't Have To Prove
Anything To Anybody.

Great Game.

Yes, Temple!

Did You See Theo
Run Out Of Here

At The Final Buzzer?

Yeah.

He Goes Over To Justine's

Gets A Little Hugging
And Kissing

And He Thinks It's Romance.

Theo Thinks He Had
A Romantic Evening

With Justine And Those Six Cds.

I Remember
Last Fall

It Was A Beautiful,
Warm Autumn Evening.

Denise And I Took A Walk
Across The Brooklyn Bridge.

About Halfway There,
She Got Too Tired

So I Picked Her Up

And I Carried Her
The Rest Of The Way.

By The Time I Was Done,
Boy, I Was Tired.

Denise Looks Small,
But That's A Long Walk.

We Found A Bench

And Looked Out
Over The East River

At The Moon
Reflecting On The Water.

That's Romance.

That's Romance.

That Was A Romantic Evening.

Without Cds.

Please.
Without Cds.

What Does Theo Know
About Being Romantic?

I'll Tell You A Romantic
Moment Sondra And I Had.

I Was Studying
For An Exam.

Sondra Was In The Room
With Winnie.

She Was Crying.

Sondra Was Taking Care Of It.

I Went To Bed
Because I Had To Get Up Early

And I Started To Miss Her

So I Took Our Mattress
Into Winnie's Room

And We Put Winnie
Down Between Us

And Sondra And I
Spent Minutes

Singing Love Songs To Her.

And After Winnie Went To Bed

We Kept Singing Them
To Each Other.

That Is Romantic.

Don't Tell Me
I Don't Have Romance.

Romance.

Nobody's Going
To Tell You That.

I Don't Know
What Year It Was.

I Remember I Worked
About Six Day In A Row

Delivering Babies.

I Had About Hours Sleep
In The Six Days.

But Each Time
I Got A Chance To Go Home

Clair Just Looked Spent.

I Called Her Secretary
And I Said

"I Want You
To Send A Dress Over--

"Her Dress, Shoes,
A Whole Outfit--

To The Carlyle Hotel."

I Rented A Suite.

Room Service Came Up.

A Little Champagne--
Just A Taste.

We Had Champagne.

We Had Lobster.

We Had Everything.

We Stayed Overnight.

Limousine Drove Us Home.

Now Is That Romance
Or What, Huh?

Well, Dad,
I Don't Mean To Put You Down

But, You Know,
Anyone Can Have Romance

If They Spend Money
Like That For It.

You Know?

Martin And I Use
Our Limited Resources

To Create Romance
For Our Wives.

I Personally Think That's
A Higher Form Of Romance.

I Agree.

Are The Two Of You Telling Me

That I Couldn't Be As Romantic
If I Didn't Have The Big Bucks?

All I'm Saying Is That
It's Been A While

Since You've Been
Used To Anything Else.

Are You Busy Saturday?

No.

No.

We Get Dressed In Tuxedos.

We Have Dinner Here.

Each Man, Prior To The Dinner

Will Go Out
And Buy His Wife A Present...

There You Go Again.

That's Buying Things
To Create Romance.

Let Me Finish.

The Present Is From The Heart

And Each Man Cannot Spend
Any More Than $ , Tax Included

On The Present.

I Like This.

Yeah?

But How Will We
Be Able To Tell

Who's Been
The Most Romantic?

From The Reaction Of Our Wives.

And The Winner Will Be
The Emperor Of Romance.

Do You Agree?

I Like This.

I Accept The Challenge.

All For One...

All:
One For All, And Three For Five.

Can't Wait.

No, Jake!

Listen To Me Carefully.

Dollars Maximum

Tax Included.

Something Romantic For My Wife.

Don't You Have Something?

No, Jake!

I Don't Want
An Electric Can Opener.

Now, Come Up With Something!

You Call Me Back.

Hey, Dad.

How You Doing?

I Hear There's A Big Dinner
Happening Here For The Wives

And Mr. Lamont
Is Cooking It.

He's An Old Friend
Who's Returning A Favor.

Well, You're Welcome
For The Inspiration.

Whoa, Whoa, Whoa.

Let Me Ask You A Question.

What's Up?

You're A...

A Young Man
And You Have A Girlfriend

And No Money.

What Was The Last Thing
That You Can Remember

That You Gave Her

And When You Gave It To Her

She Just Fell Apart

And Hugged You
And Kissed You?

The Other Day,
Justine Mentioned

That She Was Out
Of Subway Tokens.

So I Went Down And Bought Her
A Ten-Pack Of Tokens.

Wrapped It Up In Little Ribbon.

Then I Gave It To Her.

Tokens?

She Gave Me A Big Old Kiss

Right There
On The Subway Platform.

Then Again, She Gives Me
Those Kinds Of Kisses

All The Time

Because We're Not Married.

Yeah, Well, You Idiot!

Your Mother
Doesn't Ride The Subway!

Hey, Dad.

Hi, Dr. Huxtable.

Where Have You Guys Been?

We Were Shopping.

Ahh.

I Bet You Were Shopping
For Denise's Present.

A Very Special Present.

Denise Will Love It.

How About Your Gift?

The Gift That I Have
For Mrs. Huxtable

After Everybody Sees It

That Present You Have
In That Bag

Will Look Like
It Came Out Of That Bag.

We Will See About That.

Now I'll Go Upstairs
And Hide This.

Olivia?

Olivia?

Come Here, Dear.

I Haven't Seen
Much Of You.

Well, Well, Well.

I Haven't Seen
That Much Of You.

So You Went Over
To The Mall.

That's Right.

Nice Places You Went To?

You Want To Know
What We Got Denise?

Yes.

I'll Tell You.

We Got Denise...

Hmm.

Would You Look At That?

A Nasty Hangnail.

Do You Ever Get These?

Are You Going To Tell Me
What The Gift Is?

I'll Give You A Hint

But Listen Carefully.

A Wet Moose
Walks Backwards At Night

But...

An Old Buzzard
Whistles In His Sleep.

It Makes No Sense.

Maybe Not

But I Know
What Denise's Present Is

And You Don't.

Bye-Bye, Dr. Huxtable.

Hi, Dad.

Hi, Everybody.

All:
Hi.

You Look Gorgeous.

Thank You.

I Bet You Can't Wait
To Get Your Gifts.

Oops.

We're Getting Gifts?

I Didn't Say That.

I Heard You Say

"I Bet You Can't Wait
To Get Your Gifts."

I Wasn't Supposed To.

Let's Change The Subject.

Olivia,
If Something's Going On

That We Don't Know About

Maybe You Should
Share It With Us.

Women Always
Share Secrets.

That's Right.

Okay. The Husbands
Bought You Gifts

But They Could Only Spend $ .

That's What The Bet Was.

What Bet?

Who's The Most Romantic.

Whoever Likes The Gift The Most

Their Husband Wins.

They Made A Bet

To See Who Could Be
The Most Romantic?

Yes.

But You Didn't Hear That
From Me.

So That's
What This Is?

It Has Nothing To Do With Us.

It's A Bet.

I Can't Believe
We're A Part

Of Some Stupid
Macho Contest.

And Where Do They Get Off
Spending Only $ ?

When Your Father
Gives Me His Gift

Even If I Love It

I'm Going To Look Like This.

That's Good, Mom.

Okay, You Do That.

And As Soon As I Open My Gift

I Think I'll Just Have
To Fall Asleep.

You Guys!

I'll Go Easy On Martin.

Why?
Why?

I'll Do Something More Delicate.

Something Like...

Now, That Was
Sensational.

I Have Never Had
Food So Good

Not Even Aboard Ship.

Well, Ladies

This Evening
Is Not Over Yet.

We Have A Surprise
For Each Of You.

Ladies,
Did You Hear That?

How Nice.

I Can't Wait.

Sondra...

Darling...

I Love You.

I Mean That From
The Bottom Of My Heart.

I'd Like
To Give You This.

I Hope That It Means
As Much To You

As It Means To Me.

( Loud Yawn )

Oh, Excuse Me.

I Don't Know
What Came Over Me.

You've Always Wanted
A String Of Pearls.

Since I Couldn't
Afford That

I Got You One Pearl

And I'll Add Another One
To This String

Every Year
Of Our Life Together.

Oh, Elvin...

Oh, Honey,
I Love The Thought Of That.

Thank You!

( Clearing Throat )

On Our First Date,
You Kissed Me.

As I Walked Back
To My Ship

I Used This Handkerchief

To Wipe The Lipstick
From My Lips.

You Saved That?

And This...

Is The Flower That
You Wore In Your Hair

When We Were Married
On A Hill In Africa.

Open It.

And This Is
A Time Capsule.

Read The Inscription.

"February , ."

That's Years
From Now.

When We Buy
Our First Home Together

We're Going To Bury This
In The Backyard

And Years
From This Date

We're Going To Open It

Together.

Oh, Martin.

This Is The Most
Loving Present

You Could Have Given Me.

Many Years Ago

A Teenage Boy--

Very, Very Early
In His Teens--

Walked With
His Girlfriend.

And They Went
To The Drugstore

To Share A Soda.

And His Girlfriend
Looked At A Barrette

Made Of Wood

With A Glass
Stone In It.

Cost About Cents.

And She Admired
That Barrette

But The Young
Teenage Boy

Had No Money
To Buy It.

However,
For Tonight's Occasion

I Was Fortunate.

I Called And I Called

And I Found
A Collectibles Store

That Had One Of These
Same Wooden Barrettes

With The Glass Stone
In The Center.

And So, I Feel
That It's Important

For My Bride

Who Admired
That Barrette

To Open It
And Wear It Tonight.

You Remember That?

Yes.

You Called Long-Distance
For That Barrette?

Yes.

That's Very Sweet, Cliff.

Thank You.

But I Never Wanted The Barrette.

But, But You Said...

When You Looked In...

Eunice Chantilly...

...Wore That Barrette

And I Said
It Was Tacky!

What I Wanted

Was A Green Plastic Bracelet,
Cliff.

Not That Tacky Barrette.

This Is...

Oh, Cliff!