05x08 - Nowhere to Run To

[bunniefuu]

Would you mind looking
after amadeus for me?

Your goldfish?

Yeah. He's a little
green around the gills.

What's wrong with him?

I told you. He's a little
green around the gills.

The lady at the pet
store said to watch him,

But I'll be in and out all day.

I thought maybe you could help.

I don't have experience
being a fish nurse.

What if he d*ed
right on my desk?

Don't be saying stuff like that.

Amadeus and I have
become attached

Over the last couple of months.

How can anybody
get attached to a fish?

It's not like it thinks or
has feelings or anything.

Oh, sure, not like, say, a pig.

How do you know about them?

They might have feelings.

You know, like,

I wonder what kind of fish
flakes we're having today,

Or, boy, this water's
getting chilly,

Or, who do they
think they're fooling

With those plastic
plants anyway?

Stuff like that.

Even consuela can't
tell the difference

Between real and plastic plants.

She told me she waters both.

You know, I didn't
think it possible,

But I believe the level
of conversation here

Has dropped to a
new all-time low.

I'll keep it on my desk.

Hang in there, big a.

I'll be back in a
couple of hours.

Oh. Good morning.

Good morning.

How'd your conference
go with quint's teacher?

Quint?

Oh, you mean vinnie the weasel?

What did he do?

According to mr. Wilkie,

He's been complaining of
these real bad stomach pains

Right before all
of his math tests,

Which mysteriously
clear up before lunch.

Also, he caught him
telling the other kids

That his dad is moving
to the white house

To be dan quayle's
personal physician.

Mary jo, why didn't you tell us?

Not that he'd have
that much to do.

Dan always looks
pretty good to me.

Ted is not moving
to the white house.

In the first place,

The vice president does
not live in the white house,

And in the second place,
ted is a gynecologist.

Oh, right.

Do y'all ever feel
like we're in a rut?

What do you mean?

Oh, I don't know.

Sometimes I just feel

Like we've done the
same thing 100 times.

I mean, look at us.

You know, we do a little work,

We talk to each other,

We even sit in the
exact same places.

What's wrong with that?

I'm restless.

How about we shake
things up a little?

I know what you're
going for. It won't work.

What?

You want my place on the sofa.

I've told y'all before
this is my place,

And it will always be my place.

It's not going to work, ok?

For heaven's sake, mary jo.

We don't have to sit in
the same places today

If it's bothering you.

I, myself, can work anywhere.

Really?

Of course.

This is kind of neat.

Oh, all right.

You people are really
desperate for entertainment.

This is weird.

Yes, it is.

I don't know why I thought...

Told you it wouldn't work.

It was just an idea.

I thought about it
during dinner last night.

Lean cuisine for one again.

Y'all ever read the
directions on that stuff?

Thaw it out, don't thaw it out,

Who cares? You're alone.

Why are you so
down in the dumps?

Oh, I'll get over it.

Just feeling a little...

Overworked and underappreciated.

All I ever do is
clean the house,

Do the laundry, pay the bills,

Got to the pta,

Chauffeur the kids
all over, work full time.

I have no life of my own.

I never do anything fun.

Sometimes I think
I'm just some kind

Of two-legged service module.

You know, like
c3po with breasts.

Mary jo, I have a magazine
article that you should read.

It's about single
mother burnout.

It says that you should eat
lots of leafy green vegetables

And that you should join a spa

And that you should
get your aura...

Buffed or something.

I was just saying to
myself this morning,

If I could just get my hands

On a tossed salad,
a rowing machine,

And a good aura buffer,

My troubles would be over.

I can't comment on most of that,

But a little exercise
might be good for you.

Well, that's true.

I've been thinking about
doing something like that.

Every day I drive past those
joggers up at chattahoochee river.

You know, walkman
headphones in place,

Muscles flexed,

Hard bodies
glistening in the sun.

And I imagine that they go back

To some spacious natural
wood and glass home

Like you see in
architectural digest,

With a stream running
through the dining room.

It all makes me feel
like a great big slug.

I know the ones you mean.

What kills me is they're
always running around

With these big goofy
grins on their faces.

I can't figure out how
they can sweat so much

And look so happy.

Haven't you ever
heard of endorphins?

Endorphins?

What are you talking
about? Flipper?

Suzanne, when you exercise,

Your body produces these
chemicals called endorphins

That make you feel real good.

It's supposed to be the
next best thing to having sex.

Like how you feel

When you put on
one of your crowns.

Oh.

Maybe this is
something I should try.

You expect me to
loan you a crown?

No. I'm going to get me
some of those endorphins.

I mean, how hard can
this exercise business be?

I could kind of start out

With a brisk walk at lunch.

You know, increase
my metabolism,

Improve my circulation,
lower my cholesterol.

That'll be fun. Why
don't y'all come, too?

I had my period five years
straight in high school

To avoid p.e., Ok?

Why do you think
I have a mercedes?

Julia's the one with
that little sashay

All the street punks love.

That's true. You
are a good walker.

Everybody says so.

Come on, julia.

Do it for me, won't you?

I just don't have the time.

I don't even know where
my tennis shoes are.

We'll find the time.

Just do it for a couple of weeks

Until I get into the routine.

We do all have to have
our physicals pretty soon

For our group insurance.

I wouldn't mind getting a
little shaped up before that.

That fresh air's going
to be so exhilarating.

It's going to be so much fun.

You're going to love it.

Oh, no. I can't believe this.

He's not looking too good.

Julia said she was
going to look after him.

Julia's been a little
preoccupied lately,

She and mary jo.

If you ask me,

This thing's getting
downright humiliating.

First they were just going to
walk around the neighborhood,

And now they're
taking every lunch hour

To run through
chattahoochee river park

In these baggy pajamas.

They're jogging.

They're not pajamas,
they're sweat suits.

I wouldn't know about that.

As you know, i, myself,
do not perspire.

We were just talking
about you. How'd it go?

Absolutely exhilarating,
wasn't it, mary jo?

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Exhilarating.

I just think
there's a possibility

That one of my
lungs has collapsed.

Well, you know what
they say, mary jo,

No pain, no gain.

We have to push ourselves
a little bit at first.

I just didn't think it was
going to be this hard.

You don't seem
to be in much pain.

That comes from
exercising regularly

For a long time.

I like my yoga, but I
think this running's

Going to get me in
shape even faster.

You could have warned me.

It was hard enough trying
to keep up with that pack

Of miss america
rejects in full makeup.

But when that guy in the
wheelchair passed me and...

I thought to myself,

I may be in a sweat suit,

And I may be jogging,

But I'm still just
a slug in nikes.

Mary jo, don't be
so hard on yourself.

That man in the wheelchair

Is one of atlanta's top
handicapped marathoners.

How do you know?

I was chatting with
one of the runners

When you stopped to pick
gravel out of your shoe.

Remember that well-endowed woman

With the green t*nk top?

Oh, yeah.

Davida.

Well, she certainly
is in wonderful shape.

I really admire the
discipline she must have.

I have to admire the
running bra she must have.

I mean, it must be super
industrial strength.

You all should see this woman.

It looks like she has

Two giant honeydews
latched to her chest.

I'm sorry, but I swear,

This woman could play
volleyball with herself.

Excuse me, anthony.

I'm out of here.

I got something
important to do in the van.

Julia, I believe that I told you

That amadeus is
a friend of mine.

Friends do not enjoy flushing
friends down the toilet,

If you get my drift.

What does he mean by that?

You were supposed
to watch his fish.

Oh, right.

I think I know why
you're so tired.

You haven't cooled
down properly.

We need to take

A few brisk walking
laps around the block.

You'll feel fresh all over.

Margaret revelle is coming over

To discuss her breakfast room.

Margaret revelle can just wait.

Our health is more important.

1, 2, 3, 4...

We're going to start
running 5 miles a day.

Mary jo, what happened?

Don't ask. You
don't want to know.

Thank you, anthony.

I owe you one.

It's just a good thing

You collapsed by
that phone booth.

I have blisters the
size of rhode island.

Will somebody please help
me off with these shoes?

On second thought,

Just cut my feet
off at the ankles.

First I tripped over

One of those stupid
happy face mile markers

And almost broke my leg.

Then this huge german shepherd

Chased me through the duck pond

And treed me in one of
those post-armageddon

Modern art sculptures.

I felt like that woman in cujo.

But the worst part was
crawling back to the parking lot

And throwing up

In front of a bunch
japanese tourists.

My gosh. What did they do?

They took my picture.

That's terrible.

I'll tell you what's terrible.

It's julia wearing a ponytail

And hanging around
with that melon woman.

Julia looks cute in a ponytail.

She reminds me of somebody,
too. Can't think who.

I don't care for
that davida person.

I don't care if she's
a corporate lawyer.

No jury will listen to her.

They'll be staring at her chest.

That happens to me all the time.

Suzanne, this is not the reason

People don't listen to you.

Sorry. I always get cranky

After a near-death experience.

Well, if you ask me,

You're one of the lucky ones.

Some of those
runners at the park

Looked like real fanatics...

Their eyes glazed
over and everything.

They remind me of
my old dry cleaner.

Raymond fosdick used
to be a nice little guy

Before he started
spending all of his spare time

Doing laps around the
one-hour martinizing plant.

Then he'd run down and
have his pulse retaken

On the heart-rate
machine at the pizza hut.

Pretty soon, every other
word out of his mouth

Was "stretch reflex response"

Or "achilles tendon"

Or "oxygen debt."

His wife left him,
but he didn't notice

Because he was
training for a 10k run.

That's how you know
they're really hooked.

They start talking
that 10k run stuff.

Gee, that sounds serious.

He just described
half the people

At chattahoochee park.

I'm just glad you and julia

Didn't get sucked
into that kind of thing.

Mary jo, you all right?

Yeah, I'll live.

You know, julia,
I've been thinking.

I mean, I know this
whole thing was my idea,

But what the hey.

Tomorrow let's
hang up our sneakers,

Put on some spiked heels,

And go to antoine's for lunch.

I won't be able to go to lunch.

I got to work on the
stretch reflex response

In my achilles tendon

And start distance training

So I don't go into oxygen debt.

What are you talking about?

In the excitement, I
forgot to tell you.

I signed up for
my first 10k run.

Mary jo, what is the problem?

I've been waiting at fabric
world for half an hour.

I'm sorry. Julia just decided

That she had to have a
new outfit for this 10k run.

Now I cannot get her out of
this yuppie sports gear-o-rama.

Well, what do y'all think?

Well, julia, that's
very attractive.

Thank you, anthony.

Mary jo, what do you think?

You're not seriously considering

Wearing this in public, are you?

Well, I most certainly am.

It's what all the 10k
runners wear. Why?

Nothing. I just have
an overwhelming urge

To throw a raincoat over you.

You obviously don't
know the first thing

About competitive running.

For your information,

This is aerodynamically sound.

So is shaving your head.

Now, julia, come on.

Fabric world, remember?

Sugarbakers?

Does any of this ring a bell?

I'll be through pretty soon,

But first you have
to help me decide

Which running shoes to buy.

This one, marty the
salesman told me,

This one has that reinforced

Toe and heel interlock system.

But this one, for
just a little more,

Has that new
energy return system

And also polydurafoam insteps.

How much is "a little more"?

Well, this one is
on sale for $150.

Ohh!

Have you just completely
lost your mind?

For $150 you can hire somebody

To carry you on the 10k run.

What a perfect outfit.

Heads up. It's the melon woman.

And those shoes
are an absolute must.

I bought two pair myself.

What a pleasant surprise.

This is anthony bouvier,

And I'm sure you
remember mary jo.

Oh, yes.

I heard all about your
unfortunate experience,

But don't you let it bother you.

When I started running,

I threw up every
day for six months.

How inspiring.

Julia, before I forget,

My running club is
having a byoc party

The night before the 10k.

Be my guest.

Byoc?

That stands for "bring
your own carbohydrates."

We fuel up for the
big run the next day.

I got to run.

I had to pick up
heavier ankle weights.

Bye.

Ankle weights?

I wonder how she
kept from tipping over.

Not that there's
anything wrong with that.

I wouldn't think so.

I guess it's hard to retain
your sense of humor

When you're
dressed like batgirl.

I cannot believe that julia's
desk is so disorganized.

There are invoices that
have been here a week.

Let me guess.

She had more
important things to do

Like carbohydrate-load
with davida.

It's not like julia.

It's not like her
at all. It scares me.

All she talks about is
oxygenating her blood.

I hate to say this
because I love julia,

But she's getting the
teensiest bit obnoxious.

Face it, charlene,
we've lost her.

The endorphins have won.

I tried to tell y'all
this would happen,

But does anybody
ever listen to me?

No.

Hi, everybody.

Oh, hi, julia.

The windsor chairs are ready.

Anthony's picking them up later.

Why put wear and
tear on the van?

Why not strap
them to julia's back,

And she can jog them over.

Is anything in particular
bothering you, mary jo?

You've been
needling me all week.

I'd say you were jealous.

Je... I'm not jealous.

Are, too.

Am not.

Are, too.

Well...

Maybe I am.

It's just...

Julia's better than
me at everything.

I mean, this is just
one more thing.

You can run faster, jump higher.

I bet you can even
out-leg wrestle me, too.

Mary jo, I have
something to tell you.

What?

I told davida I decided
not to participate

In that 10k run.

Why?

You giving up running?

Let me put it this way.

I went to my doctor
for my physical.

He could tell I'd been running.

How could he tell?

He said I have shin splints,

Joint problems,

Incipient tendonitis,
and athlete's foot.

Anything else?

Yes.

He insulted my ponytail.

Said it made me
look like gidget.

That's it, that's it.

I knew you reminded
me of somebody.

Well, julia, I feel
really stupid

About this whole thing.

I guess i... I was jealous.

I mean...

Maybe since the whole
thing was my idea,

I just got ticked off

That you were
the one enjoying it.

I had no idea you
were feeling that way.

I guess I didn't either.

Maybe I didn't want
to admit to myself

That I'm just a big talker

Who never follows
through on anything.

You should see my garage.

It's full of things I
couldn't stick with.

Golf shoes, guitar,
tennis racket,

Bowling shoes...

Mary jo, you do follow through

On all the important things.

If you ever forget that,

Look at those two beautiful
children you're raising

Or this thriving business,

For which you are
largely responsible,

Not to mention friendships
you have stuck with

Despite the fact that
one of those friends

Had gotten a little
out of hand lately

And was, in fact, on the verge

Of making a big
jackass of herself,

If you catch my drift.

Thank you.

We were starting to get
a little worried about you,

But everything's ok now.

Well, I don't know.

I mean, on the one
hand, I'm kind of relieved

That julia won't be calling
me at 6:00 in the morning

And asking me to go on the
bataan death march anymore.

On the other hand,
just look at us.

We're right back
where we started.

In a rut.

Not me.

It's a whole new
world from this angle.