07x16 - Total Control

[bunniefuu]

Oh, Doctor.

Alicia's
Getting Dressed.

She'll Be In
In A Minute.

It's Been
A Long Nine Months.

Thank You, Doctor

For Being With Us
Every Step Of The Way.

In Appreciation, I'd Like
To Give You Some More Bread

I Baked Especially For You.

Ray, I Have
Enough Bread.

You Got To Have
The Egg Bread

And The Seven-Grain.

That's The Sourdough.

You Gave Me This...

You Haven't

Eaten That Yet?

No, Not Yet.

Learning To Bake Bread

Has Been So Fulfilling To Me.

Being A High School
Basketball Coach

Is A Tense
Profession.

Yes, Yes...

Baking Relieves That Tension

And Allows Me To Be Creative.

I Baked You
This Pumpernickel

In The Shape
Of A Doctor's Bag

Especially For You.

You Might Find

These Tongue Depressor
Breadsticks Amusing.

Say "Ah."

The Doctor Says
I'm In Great Shape, Ray.

Yes, You Are

And I Want
You Guys To Know

That You Will Be New Parents
Any Day Now.

Well, We've Had A Full
Nine Months To Prepare.

And We're Ready.

Cliff:
As Prepared

As You Think You Are,
There May Be Some Surprises.

You Don't Understand,
Doctor.

For Us, There Will
Be No Surprises.

You See, We Have Planned
For Every Eventuality.

Oh, Good.

We Have Completed
Childbirth Classes.

We've Watched
The Pbs Birth Chronicles.

This Book Has Been
Our Salvation--

Pregnancy And Childbirth
The Natural Way.

It Shows The Process
From Conception To Birth.

It Even Has Today--

Our Last Visit
To The Obstetrician.

That's .

Oh, There It Is.

See? Our Last Visit
To The Obstetrician.

Well, There You Go.

You Guys Have Everything
Under Control.

But Wait.
That's Not All.

You Know What A Terrific
Basketball Coach Ray Is.

It's High School--
Montgomery Cubs High.

City Champs.
City Champs.

He's Developed
A Winning Strategy

For The Birth.

Should We Show Him
Our Game Plan?

I Don't Think
It Will Do Any Harm.

Okay, Play Three.

Play Three--
Beginning Labor.

I Feel A Contraction.

Take Your Zone, Honey,
As I Pull Out My Stopwatch

Because We Breathe.

Seconds.

I Make A Note Of That

And Start My Stopwatch,
Because...

I Feel Another
Contraction.

They're Five Minutes Apart.

Then Do You Know
What I Do?

I Go Over
To The Phone

I Pick It Up,
And I Call The Doctor.

That's You.

Hello? Dr. Huxtable?

This Is Ray Evans.

My Wife Is Experiencing
Labor Pains.

And Then You Say...

You Say,
"How Far Apart Are They?"

How Far Apart Are They?

Good.

They're Five Minutes.

And Then You Say...

You Say, "You Better Get Her
Over To The Hospital."

You Better Get Her Over

To The Hospital.

Then I Take
My Prepacked Bag

We Take A Cab
To The Hospital

I Have The Baby, And In
A Few Days, We're Home.

We're On Top
Of The Game, Doctor.

I'm A Little Concerned
About You.

Ray!

How Far Apart Are They?

You're There.

Get Her
To The Hospital.

Hey, How Are You?

Good.

How Can I Make Some Money?

What Do You Want Money For?

For Some Shampoo
And A Big Brush.

For What?

For The Pony I'm Getting

For My Birthday.

What Makes You Think
You're Going To Get A Pony?

Last Year I Wanted A Tricycle,
And I Got It.

This Year, I Want A Pony.

Well, I Don't Know
About All That, See

Because Last Year

I Wanted A Maserati
For My Birthday

And Mrs. Huxtable
Wouldn't Let Me Have One.

Well, If You Tell
Daddy And Denise

That I Want A Pony

I'll Tell Mrs. Huxtable
That You Want A Mister Ragi.

Now, Wait,
Because Mrs. Huxtable Is Tough.

You Understand?

Yeah, And She Doesn't Care
About Little, Cute Faces.

So I'll Be Mrs. Huxtable.

Okay, I'm Sitting Here.

Mrs. Huxtable?

Yes, Olivia?

Can Dr. Huxtable
Have A Mister Ragi, Please?

No, And Don't Come To Me Again
Asking Me That Question.

What I'm Saying Is,
That's Not Good Enough.

Don't You Have Something Else?

I Got It.

Go Ahead.

Mrs. Huxtable?

Yes, Darling?

What's The Matter,
My Little Olivia?

Can Dr. Huxtable Have
A Mister Ragi, Please?

Oh, You Look So Cute
And So Sad, Honey

But The Answer Is No.

See, You Got To...
I'm Telling You, She's Tough.

Come On, You Got To Go Lower.

Please! Please!

Give Dr. Huxtable
A Mister Ragi, Please!

(Screams)

Oh!

Ow! Uh-Oh...

Don't Ask. We Lost.

Double Overtime, - .

(Groans)

That's Exactly
How I Felt.

I Wouldn't Have Minded It
So Much

But It Was Such A Perversion
Of Justice.

Honey, I Think...

I Wish The Ref
Could Think.

He Should Have Been Working
The Tyson Fight

Instead Of A Basketball Game.

My Kid Goes Up
For A Three-Pointer

And Is Practically Mugged.

Ohh!

Tell Me About It.

But Do We Hear A Whistle?

What Do You Do
To Get A Whistle?

Lose A Limb?

Honey...

Don't Try To Soothe Me.

I'm Fine!

He Calls My Man
For Traveling.

Ref, If You Don't Have The Ball,
It's Called Running.

I Was So Upset, I Almost
Yanked My Kids Off The Court

And Went Home.

Is Something The Matter,
Sweetheart?

I'm Having A Contraction.

Now?

Yes!

Why Didn't You Blow
The Whistle?

Well, I Tried

But I Was Having
A Contraction.

But Aren't You Early?

Dr. Huxtable Said
It Could Be Any Day Now.

He's The Doctor.

He Should Know Exactly
When Our Baby Will Be Born.

He Could Only Give An Estimate.

We're Paying Him Good Money.

You Don't Pay For An Estimate.

We Have Practiced
For This For Months.

It's Game Time.

Are You Ready To Play?

I'm Ready.

Play Three.

I Don't Have My Stopwatch.

It's On The Bookcase.

Now You Go Get
My Suitcase.

The Blue Bag?

Closet, Closet.

It's In The Closet.

Okay, No Problem.

We Got This Down Here.

Are You Sure
It's In The Closet?

I'm Positive.

It's Not In The Closet.

You're Right.

It's Right There.

It's Supposed To Be
In The Closet.

Make Sure
We Have Everything.

We Have Everything.

We Packed It Together.

It's Just That
We Need The Book.

I've Got The Book--
Our Little Baby Bible.

Ow! Ow!

Hang On.

See? Page ?

Your Cervix
Is Starting To Dilate

So That Means
We Have To Make

A Fast Break
For The Hospital Right Now.

Where Are You Going?

I'm Going To Put On
Some Makeup.

Alicia, You Don't Need Makeup.

I'm Not Going Looking Like This.

Don't Forget
The Wedding Picture.

The Wedding Picture, Yeah.

I Got It.

And We Mustn't Forget
You-Know-Who.

Franklin, Yeah.

Won't Forget You, Big Fella.

And Those Sweet
Little Pillows I Made.

The Pillows. I'll Get Them.

Here They Are.

And Shouldn't We Call
Dr. Huxtable?

Why? For Another Estimate?

Honey, Play Three.

Yeah, Play Three.

And Don't Forget
The Apple Juice

And Those Plastic
Champagne Glasses.

Right.

I'll... I'll Get Them
In A Second.

Hello, Dr. Huxtable.

This Is Ray Evans.

Yeah, Ray.

We Better Get To The Hospital

Right Away.

How Far Apart Are They?

That's Perfect.

What Are You Talking About, Ray?

You Said It

Just Like We Practiced It.

Will You Give Me An Answer?

What's The Question?

How Far Apart Are They?

I Don't Know.

Wait A Second.

Honey, How Far Apart Are They?

I'd Say About
Five Minutes.

She'd Say About Five Minutes.

Okay, Then Why Don't You Guys
Get Over To The Hospital.

What If She Has The Baby
Before We Get To The Hospital?

You've Got A Book, Right?

Right Here.

Anything About The Baby

Coming Out In The House?

Oh, My God. Let Me Look.

Oh, God,
I Didn't Write That Down.

Okay, Ray, Do Me A Favor.

When She Comes Out

Get The Bags.

You Guys Head For The Hospital.

When You Get There, Call Me.

Okay. Thank You.

Hey, Listen, Ray?

How Far Apart Are They?

(Laughing)

Sweetheart?

Honey?

Yes?

Don't Forget ThatSoothing Sounds Of Nature Cd.

Did You Want
The Brazilian Rain Forest

Or Whales In Love?

Um...

I'll Just Bring Both Of Them.

Okay?

What's Going On
Down There?

Nothing. I...
I Just Cleared The Table.

Honey, What Happened?

I Had A Little Accident.

(Groaning)

I'll Be All Right.

(Panting)

Did You Call The Cab?

You...

That's Right.

I'm Supposed
To Call The Cab.

Remember What It Says
In The Book, Sweetheart.

Don't Panic, And Breathe.

You Know,
I Think I'm Doing It Wrong.

Oh, Honey, Are You All Right?

Just A Minute.

She'll Talk To You.

We Need A Cab
To Union.

Mr. And Mrs. Evans.

Thank You.

Yes, Right Away.

Cab's On Its Way.

(Choking)

What Are You Doing?

I'm Making This For You.

It's A Honey
Wheat Berry Sneaker.

What Size Are You?

You Can't Knead Dough
In The Birthing Room.

It Helps Me Stay
On Top Of My Game.

You Want To Be
On Top Of The Game...

Is Over Here.

So Take That Dough Out

And Get To The Game.

I'm Just Going To Get Rid
Of This And Go Wash My Hands.

Okay, I'll Miss You,
Sweetie.

I'll Miss You Too.

And Don't Forget.

We Came In As Two.

We're Going Out As Three.

Concentrate
On The Wedding Picture.

Just Focus
On The Wedding Picture.

(Hums The "Wedding March")

Are You All Right, Hon?

She's Just Fine, Doctor.

He Asked Me, Okay?

I'm Sorry.

I'm Doing As Good
As Can Be Expected

For Someone Waiting Three Hours
To Have A Baby.

You're On Schedule.

You're Going To Be Fine.

We're Going To Be Terrific.

We? What We?

All You're Doing
Is Holding Up That Dumb

Wedding Picture.

May I See You Outside, Please?

Sweetheart...
Honey, Get Ready.

You're Going To Have
Another One.

Here It Goes.

I Think This Is
Going To Be A Biggie.

(Loud Moaning)

Yeah! Yeah!

Ka-Boom!

(Yelling)

You Should See This.

Will You Stop Looking
At That Stupid Monitor?

It's An Amazing Machine.

Ray...

Yes, Alicia. Just Breathe.

Oh, My Back...

Your Back..?

... Is k*lling Me.

Hang On, Sweetheart.

Let Me Get The Tennis Balls,
And I'll Massage You.

Wait A Second... Massage...

Here We Go.

There. That Feel Any Better?

You're Doing It
All Wrong.

It Says Here In The Book,
"A Circular Motion..."

Forget The Book!

That Is Not Helping
My Back At All.

Try It Straight Up
And Down.

Excuse Me. It's My Back.

Oh... Just An Up
And Down Motion.

Here.

Why Don't You Just Focus
On The Wedding Picture.

That's The Last Thing
I Want To See.

Honey, You Don't Mean That.

Yes, I Do.

If It Wasn't For You

I Wouldn't Be In This Agony.

Dr. Huxtable, She's
Totally Out Of Control.

Can You Give Her
Something?

Well, If You Want
Natural Childbirth, No.

Well, What Should I Do?

Well, I Wouldn't Show Her
The Wedding Picture Anymore.

It's Not The Wedding Picture.

It's The Man In It.

(Gasps)

I Can't Do This Anymore.

Go On.

I Can't Do It.

Ray?

What?

What Did You Think
It Was Going To Be, Son?

Hit A Few Jumpers And Go Home?

I've Never Seen Her So Exhausted
And So Upset.

That's Not My Wife.

She Can't Stand Me.

She Doesn't Like Me Anymore.

I Can't Go Through With It.

I Don't Think She Can, Either.

Oh, She's Going
To Go Through With It.

Now She's Going To Have
The Baby

Whether You Go In There Or Not.

She Threw The Bear.

(Whimpers)

Ray?

What?

You're A Great Coach.

I'm A Good Coach. Okay... Great.

That Woman In There

And That Rookie
Ready To Come Out

Will Be The Two Greatest People
You Ever Coached.

I Want You To Go In,
And I Want You To Coach

Just Like You Did That Time
For The Montgomery...

Uh... Uh... Bears.

Montgomery Cubs.

Montgomery Cubs.

And Ray, I Understand

That You Won
The League Championship.

City.

Okay, You Won

The City Championship,
And What Happened?

You Were Down
In The Third Quarter

Points...

Last Quarter, Points.

Last Quarter.

Points.

You Were Down,
And What Did They Say?

"We Got Them.

The Old Pit Bull Has Had It."

They Call Me Bear Claw.

The Old Bear Claw...
That He's Finished.

They Told Me
I Was Finished.

They Thought They
Were Going To Take

That Championship Trophy.

They Were Going To Engrave It
With Their School Name.

I Said, "Uh-Huh. Uh-Huh."

I Called My Men Over,
And I Said

"Boys, Boys, Listen Up.

"It's Very, Very Easy To Win
When You're Winning.

It Takes Real Winners To Win
When You're Losing."

What?

It Didn't Make Sense Then

And It Doesn't Make Sense Now,
But It Worked.

And They Were Down.

Then They Got Up.

Hah! Because You Talked To Them.

You Believed.

I Was Cool.

And Ray, Inside There,
Inside...

You've Got One Player
And A Rookie.

Coming Up.

I Hear You, Doctor.

All Right.
I'm Ready To Go.

Ready... Break!

(Alicia Groaning)

The Ball's In Play.

Here Is To The Prettiest
Woman In The World

And The Most Beautiful
Little Baby Girl In The Nursery.

Honey, I'm Sorry

I Called You Those Names.

I Didn't Even Know
You Knew Them.

And I Do Like Your Mother.

She's A Lovely Woman

And, Of Course,
I Will Let You Touch Me Again.

Sometime.

Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey!

Six Weeks, I Told You.

Dr. Huxtable,
We're Real Sorry.

I Think We've
Got To Apologize.

We Might Have Seemed
A Little Overconfident

In Your Office.

It's All Right.

I've Seen All That Before...

Except For The Dough Part.

I've Never Seen The Dough.

I Think We Did Pretty Good

Despite A Couple Of Glitches
That Were Beyond Our Control.

Actually,
I'm Pretty Proud Of Us.

Actually, You Did Fine.

You Got Your Rookie

And Now You Have
To Bring Her Up.

Hey. We're Ready.

Wait Till You See This.

No! No More Bread.
No More Bread.

No, It's A Book.

A Parental Guide
For The st Century.

We've Also Ordered The Companion
Video Cassette Series.

It's All Right Here, Doctor.

It's A Brand-New Ball Game.

Solid Foods At Three Months.

With No Teeth?

So She'll Sleep
Through The Night.

At Six Months,
Potty Training.

We Can Be Liberal
About That.

And Then At Eight
Months, Teething.

Ray:
We Might Want To Start That
A Little Earlier.

They Call
The Terrible Twos...