07x17 - Adventures in Babysitting

[bunniefuu]

You Make Fun Of What
I'm Talking About

But That's The Way
It Will Work.

The Smartest Thing
You Ever Did

Was Asking Me
To Be Your Partner.

You're Looking At Yourself
When You Say That

Because You Will Be Riding
The Back

Of The Man Who Will Take You
To The Championship

Of The Charity
Pinochle Tournament.

Yes, You Do Look Like
A Beast Of Burden.

I Hope You Don't
Play Pinochle

Like A Donkey.

Dr. Harmon, I Play Pinochle
Like A Shark.

What I Want To See
Is Less Talk

And More Card Playing.

So Do I.

I'm Tired Of Thompson And Phelps

Winning The Tournament
Year After Year.

That's Why I Asked You
To Be My Partner.

I Have Nothing Against Clair,
But She Doesn't Play To Win.

Nicole Is The Same Way.

She Plays For Fun.

We Have To Be Ruthless--

Have No Mercy.

We'll Polish Off Thompson
And Phelps

Like A Couple Of Hors D'oeuvres.

Let's Talk About Our Signals.

Now You're Talking,
Now You're Talking, Partner.

Okay, When I Have
A Strong Hand

I'll Say Something Like

"Mrs. Jackson's Hip
Is Mending Beautifully."

You Going To Say It Like That?

Yeah.

Can The People
Playing Against Us See?

Because If You're Going
To Sit There And Say

"Mrs. Jackson's Hip
Is Mending Beautifully..."

Okay.

Give Me An Example
Of One Of Your Signals.

Go Ahead.

Check This Out.

You Know, The Pump Flows Freely

And Makes The River Run Wild.

Listen To What I'm Saying.

The Pump... Hearts.

Flow Or Run.

Flow, Run.

Freely.

The River Wild.

That Means You Play
Your Tr*mp First.

Huxtable, This Is Pinochle,
Not The C.I.A.

Let's Play Out
This Hand, All Right?

Is Your Wife Upset

Because You're Not Playing
With Her?

No, And Clair Shouldn't Be
Either.

You're Not That Good Anyway.

Gentlemen.

How You Feeling?

Fine.

Dear, You're Not Upset With Me
Because You're Not Playing

With Me In This Tournament?

Any Woman In Her Right Mind
Would Be Disappointed.

Not To Be Able To Play
With A Pinochle Expert?

You're Laughing, See

But Inside,
That Woman Is Torn Up.

What Are You
Laughing At?

I'm Laughing At Cliff.

He's So Silly.

He Thinks I'm Upset Because
I'm Not Playing With Him.

Same Thing With James,
The Pinochle King.

Clair, I'd Rather Play With You
Than Him Any Day.

I'd Rather Play With You Too.

You're Not So Competitive.

All I Ever Hear

Is "Why Did You Play That Card?"

"What Kind Of Bid Was That
Anyway?"

And I Know You've Heard
This One:

"Whose Side Are You On, Anyway?

Oh...

Suppose We Did Wind Up
Playing Them?

That Would Be Fine With Me.

I Can Read James Like A Book.

When James Has A Bad Hand,
He Starts To Smooth His Beard.

And When He Has
A Good Hand

He Starts Rocking
From Side To Side.

When Cliff Has A Bad Hand,
He Sits Very Still

And His Face
Gets Very Long.

When He Has A Good Hand,
His Head Starts...

See, That's Why You All
Don't Win Nothing.

Hey, Mom, All Ready For
The Pinochle Tournament?

Uh-Huh.

You And Nicole
Have Your Strategies

All Worked Out?

Getting Worried?

No, No.

Oh, Martin.

Running Late, Aren't You?

Yes, I Am.

We Have Got A Serious
Baby-Sitting Problem.

Sondra And Elvin
Can't Watch Olivia

Because The Twins
Have The Chicken Pox.

Oh, Yes,
I Heard About That.

I've Been Through
The Baby-Sitting List.

No Luck.

I'm Desperate.

I Know Someone
Who's Available...

Someone Who Is
Very Responsible.

A Baby-Sitter
Extraordinaire.

You Wouldn't Be Talking About
Rudy Huxtable?

Thank You
For Volunteering

But I Don't Think You're Ready
For This Responsibility.

Wasn't Denise When
She First Baby-Sat Me?

How Am I Supposed To Remember
How Old Denise Was?

We Can't Even Remember
How Old She Is Now.

Come On, Martin,
Please?

Please?

I Guess I'm In
No Position To Argue.

Okay, Rudy, You Got It.

You Are Making
One Good Deal.

You Are Going
To Be Amazed

At My Baby-Sitting
Talents.

I Assume
This Is A Paying Job.

Yes, It Is.

How Much Do You Want?

Five Dollars.

You Got It.

I Meant Seven.

Seven?

This Is Awful Short Notice.

Let Me Take This Deal Now
Before The Price Goes Up.

There You Go.

This Is Only
Five Dollars.

You'll Get The Rest

When I Know
She Is Still Alive.

Good-Bye.

It's Nice To See
One Of My Children

Bringing Some Money
Into The House.

Guess What, Olivia?

I'm Going To Be
Baby-Sitting You Tonight.

Great! We're Going
To Have Fun Together.

If You Pay Attention
To Your Sitter.

Rudy, I've Left The Number
Where We'll Be On The Fridge.

And Do Me A Favor?

Leave This House
In The Same Condition

As When We Left It.

Dad, Please,
I'm Years Old.

Now Remember,
Olivia's Bedtime Is At...

: .
: .

And Don't Forget To...

Both:
Lock Up After Us.

Mom, I Got It Covered.

What Time
Can I Expect You?

Your Mother
Will Be Back Early

But I'll Still Be
In The Tournament.

I Will Not Dignify That Remark.

Tonight My Cards
Will Do The Talking.

I Hope Your Cards
Are Worthy Of The Person

Playing With Them.

And I Do Hope
You Button Up.

It's Gusty
Out There.

All Right,
No Problem.

Bye, Sweetheart.

Bye, Olivia.

(Wind Whistling)

And Don't Forget...

Lock Up After You.

Time For The Tv And Ice Cream.

Whoa, Hold On.

You Already Had Ice Cream.

Now Go Upstairs,
Brush Your Teeth

And Get Into Your Pajamas.

You Sound Like A Real Sitter.

Thank You Very Much.

When You're Done

Maybe You Could Watch
A Little Tv.

Oh, Man.

Olivia, What Are You
Doing Up?

I Can't Go To Sleep.

Is It Okay If I
Watch Tv With You?

I Already Let You Watch Tv.

Now Go Upstairs To Bed.

Just Ten More Minutes, Please?

I'm Sure I'll Fall
Right To Sleep.

I Can Feel My Eyes Closing
Right Now.

This Is A Scary Movie.

You Will Have Nightmares.

I Like Scary Movies.

Ten More Minutes, Please?

All Right,
Ten More Minutes.

And Not Because
Of That Pitiful Look Either.

I Know Those Looks.

I Was An Expert At Them.

Wow, That Street
Is Really Dark.

Uh-Oh.

He Stopped Walking.

Rudy, What's Happening
To That Man's Face?

He's A Vampire Most Nights

But Tonight,
Because There's A Full Moon Out

He's A Vampire Anda Werewolf.

(Howling)

Olivia, It's Just A Movie.

I Know, I Know,
I Know, I Know.

(Man On Tv Screaming)

Olivia, Please
Go To Bed.

I Can't Go To Bed
By Myself.

The Vampire Wolves
Are Going To Get Me.

They're Not Going To Get You
'Cause They're Not Real.

Yes, They Are.

They're Going To Get Me
And Eat Me.

Anyway,
They're In London.

(Tv Shuts Off)

Why Did You Do That?

Because It
Was Scaring You.

But I Have
To See The End.

Why?

To Make Sure

All The Vampire Wolves Are Dead.

Olivia, I'm Not Turning
The Television Back On

Until You Go To Bed.

(Gate Squeaking)

What Was That?

It Was Just The Wind
Blowing The Back Gate.

I'm Scared.

I Want Daddy And Denise.

They're In Washington.

Are There Vampire Wolves
In Washington?

Then I Want
To Go There!

Olivia,
Please Stop Crying.

I Can't.

Please.

I Can't.

If You Stop Crying

I'll Give You
Some Ice Cream.

Vanilla?

Yes.

Welcome.

Thank You
For Being A Sponsor

In The Tournament.

Come With Me, Nicole.

Cliff, Nicole And I
Are Going To Go Freshen Up.

We'll See
You Guys Later.

Clair:
Good Luck.

Aren't You
Wishing Us Luck?

You Need Skill, Dear.

I Would Wish You Skill

But Then I Would Still
Be Wishing, Wouldn't I?

Why Do I Ask?

Look Over There.

Oh, Look At This.

Wow!

Six Months At My House,
Six Months At Your House.

Partner.

Deal.

Look At The Little
Poochie, Poochie.

They Even Have A Trophy
For The Second-Place Winner.

Doesn't Even Say "Pinochle."

It's Too Small.

Ladies And Gentlemen

The Champions Of
The Last Three Years--

Carolyn Thompson
And Alfred Phelps.

Carolyn, Carolyn,
Look At That.

Now This Trophy
Is Beautiful.

This One Is A Lot Larger

Than The One We Won Last Year.

I'll Have To Raise A Bookshelf
To Fit It In.

And As Always

Six Months On My Shelf,
Six Months On Yours.

You Got It, Partner.

Dr. Huxtable.

Dr. Harmon.

Are You Ready
To Go To Sleep?

No, I'm Still Scared.

It Is Just A Movie.

(Wind Blowing)

What Was That?

It Was Just The Wind.

Close The Window.

The Vampire Wolves
Are Going To Get Us.

Olivia, I Have
To Put You To Bed Now.

(Scraping On Roof)

They're On The Roof!

That Was Probably
Just The Branch.

I'll Stay With You
So You Won't Be Frightened.

Are You Scared Too?

Of Course Not.

(Trash Cans Clanking)

(Both Screaming)

Rudy, I Thought
You Weren't Scared.

I'm Not.

I Just Had To Make Sure
You Were All Right.

You Are My Responsibility.

Are You Okay?

No, I'm Scared

That The Vampire Wolves
Will Get Me.

For The Last Time,
There Are No Vampire Wolves.

(Windows Rattle)

And They're Going
To Get You Too.

Listen, Phelps
And Thompson

Take It Easy.

These Are Our Wives.

If You b*at
Them Up Too Much

You'll Have
To Answer To Us.

Thank You.

Thank You.

Thank You.

Clair:
Thank You.

Nicole:
That's Game.

It's Been A Pleasure.

Mrs. Huxtable.

Mrs. Harmon.

You b*at...

You b*at Phelps
And Thompson?

Uh-Huh.
Uh-Huh.

(Door Jiggling)

Ahh!

Olivia, It's Me, Rudy.

Open Up.

How Do I Know It's You?

Who Does It
Sound Like?

How Do I Know They Didn't
Turn You Into A Vampire Wolf

And You're Trying To Fool Me?

If You Don't
Open This Door

You Are GoingTo Stay In ThereAlone.

Did You See Anything?

No, But I Turned On
All The Lights

And Set Booby Traps
On Both Stairways.

The Pump...

Flows Strongly And Runs Wild.

The Knicks Are A Good Club.

But The Pump
Flows And Runs... Strong

And You Will Look

Wild I Said .

Pow.

I Want To Send
Some Flowers.

You Know What
She Really Wants?

What?

Janet Jackson's Autograph.

Isn't That Sweet.

Do You Have
Any Points, Dear?

We Have Two.

That Means We Have .

I Went For My Second Set
Of X-Rays Yesterday

And You Know What
My Chiropractor Told Me?

Don't Slouch, Dear.

That's Bad
For Your Back.

Told Me That I Had

Straightened Up Considerably
And Have More Space In My Neck.

I Go Tomorrow
For My First Set Of X-Rays.

I Can't Wait To Hear
What He's Got To Tell Me.

Play, Cliff.

Game.

We Win.

We Win.

All Right!

All Right!

Don't Start With Me, Huxtable.

Let's Have One More Picture With
The Winners And Their Husbands.

The Winners
And Their Husbands.

Sweetheart,
What Do You Think?

Isn't Our Trophy Nice?

Yes.

Where's Your Trophy, Honey?

Is That It?

Cliff, You Know You Have
To Hold Your Trophy.

Here, Hold It.

Go Stand Next
To Dr. Harmon

And You Can Hold
That Trophy Together

And We'll Hold Ours.

Yes, James.

Say "Cheese."

That Was Certainly
An Enjoyable Evening.

Yes.

Who Would Have Thought

That We Would Win
Such A Nice Trophy?

Well, Dear,
Since We're Married

I Feel That Half Of
That Trophy Belongs To Me Too.

The Reality Is,
Sweetheart

What's Ours Is Ours

And What's Yours
Is In Your Pocket.

You Know, You're
A Nasty Little Woman.

Just Pure Nasty.

Oh, My Goodness.

What Is This?

Ah, Look At This.

For Heaven's Sakes.

All The Lights Are On.

And The Tv Is Going "Pfffph!"

I Know Exactly What Happened.

What Happened?

Vampires Werewolves Of London.

I Told Her About Watching
Those Horror Movies.

And Got Scared Too.

Look At This.

Why Did They Have
To Tear The House Up?

Because They're
Scared, Dear.

Garlic All Over
The Bed.

Yes, And They Got
A Little Cross

Made Out Of
A Spoon And A Fork.

Cliff, Why Is Olivia
Holding That Piece Of Meat?

Don't You
Understand, Dear?

That's The Steak

To Drive Through
The Vampire's Heart.

I'll Get Rudy.

And I've Got
Little Igor Here.

We Should Bite
One Of Them On The Neck.