08x04 - Pam Applies to College

[bunniefuu]

Okay Andre, If That's
The Way You Feel, Fine.

If You Can Handle It All
Without Me

I'll Be In The Living Room,
On The Couch

Reading The Homeowner's Manual, If You Need Me.

(Loud Hammering)

Why Must You Bother Andre?

I Am Not Bothering Andre, Dear.

The Man Does
A Terrific Job

But No Man Is An Island.

(Doorbell Ringing Off-Key)

See-- That Doorbell
Was One Of Your Jobs.

Hi, Charmaine, Lance.
Good Afternoon.

Mrs. Huxtable.

Dr. Huxtable, I Presume.

Well, The Inseparables.

Have A Sit-Down.

Pam, Company.

Thank You-- In A Minute.

We Don't Mean To Disturb You.

We Can Go Into The Kitchen

Though That Room
Is In Disarray.

You Might Not Want
To Show Us

The Seamy Side
Of Your Life.

That's Very Considerate.

What's Up With You?

Our Counselor
Has Been Helping Us

Apply To College.

College, Huh?

That's Right,
Dr. Huxtable.

Though I'm A Bit Distraught

Over The Pursuit
Of My Educational Goals.

Don't Worry.

You're Going
To College.

I'm Committed To Attaining
A Degree

And Bringing It Back
To My Community.

More People Should Be Like You.

Thank You. I'll Tell Them.

Why Are You Concerned?

I Don't Want To Pay
The Application Fee.

Oh, Well, You Don't Want To Pay
The Application Fee.

Some Of These Places Charge
Up To $ A Pop.

Hey, I Know,
I've Been Popped Four Times.

Look At This Slick Number

From Cason College.

It Looks Like They're Trying
To Sell Me A New Car.

What Is
A Bikini-Clad Woman

Doing In Front
Of The Physics Lab?

With All Due Respect,
Isn't That A Scam?

Despite This Display

This Is Still
A Very Good School.

Yes, And That Is Still
A Very Good Scam.

I Ain't Paying $ For That.

How Are You Going To Apply?

Post-Date All My Checks.

If They Reject Me,
I Just Call The Bank.

Lance's Applications

Will Be Error-Free.

We Are Going
To The Same College

Where His Behavior Will Reflect
On Me Personally

And I Will Not Have
Bounced Checks On My Transcript.

Pam:
Charmaine, Come On Up.

Excuse Me.

See You Later, Baby.

Don't Use Outside Words
Inside.

(Knocking"Shave And A Haircut")

Wait A Minute.

Just A Second.

Okay. Come In.

Hey.

Don't Get Too Excited.

I've Almost Finished
Your New Knock-Out Dress.

Let Me See...

When It's Finished.

I Don't Want
Any Buyer's Remorse.

You're My Best Friend.

And Not Just Because

You're Making Me
Look Good.

But I Am.

And Speaking Of Looking Good

I Was Down At Our
Guidance Counselor's Office.

Mister...

(Panting)

...Bostic?

What Were You Doing--
Planning Your Honeymoon?

We Were Talking
About My Future

And You Should Talk About Yours.

Just Mine?

Or His And Mine.

Get Serious Now.

Are You Planning
On Going To College?

I'm Going.

Unless, Of Course,
Mr. (Panting) Bostic Proposes.

Come On, Pam,
This Is Your Future.

You Need Mr. Bostic's Guidance
And Advice.

And If I Were You

I'd Wear
My New Bowling Shirt.

It's Been Said
He's In A League.

All Right.

Don't Do It.

Well, I'm Just Going In
To See My Counselor.

All I Have To Do

Is Tell Him
The Colleges I Want.

Are You Still Applying
To Those Schools?

Hm-Mmm, Same Ones
You're Going To.

Penn, Hillman,
And Bowling Green?

Those Are The Ones.

Those Are Very Hard Schools
To Get Into.

We Always Said
We'd Go Through Life Together.

Mr. Bostic Is A Good Counselor.

Maybe He Knows Something
I Don't.

And, Pam...

You Got A Little Lipstick.

Miss Tucker, Come On In.

Go Get Him, Girl.

I'll Be Here
When You Get Out.

Yes... Okay.

Hi, Mr.... Uh... Bostic.

What Can I Do For You?

Oh, I'm Ready.

I Mean, For College.

You're Interested In College.

I Didn't Know.

I've Been Keeping It
Under Wraps

But Now It's Time
For The Big Push.

Oh, I See.

I'll Be Attending College

At Penn, Hillman,
Or Bowling Green.

Now, Pam, Come On.

Why Did You Really
Want To See Me?

I'm Serious.

I Want To Go To Those Schools.

Pam, The Grade Point Average
At Those Schools Is . .

Your Grade Average Is . .

It's My Understanding

These Colleges
Look At A Bit More

Than Your Grades.

Well, Now, That's True.

They Also Look
At S.A.T. Scores.

Yes, S.A.T. Scores.

Now, Standardized Tests--
That's Me.

Pam, You Got A Out Of
When You Took Them Last Spring.

Listen, Pam

When Are We Going To Start
Looking At This Realistically?

Mr. Bostic

I Assumed You Were On My Side.

It's Also My Understanding

These Colleges Make Exceptions
For Students Who Have Potential

Especially Those Who Come From
A Disadvantaged Neighborhood.

I Know All About
Your Neighborhood.

I'm A Product Of That Reality,
And That's What Held Me Back.

Right Now
There Are Students

From Your Neighborhood
In College.

Fourteen.

Not One Of Them Got There

On Their Personality.

Single-Parent Families?

Some.

Working Mothers?

Every One.

You Have All The Answers

Don't You?

Look, Pam, I'm Not Trying
To Discourage You.

I Mean,
You Really Have Grown.

Now That's What
I'm Trying To Tell You.

My Grades Have Gone Up.

There's Even An "A" In There.

I Know.

And Some B's.

Look At Those Hard-Working B's.

It Takes More
Than One Semester Of Work

To Get Into College.

But I Want To Go.

My Suggestion Is That You Apply
At One Of The Local Colleges.

No, I Want To Go Away To College
With Charmaine.

Charmaine Worked Hard,
And She's Qualified.

Now, If You Do
The Same

You Can Apply
At Those Schools

In A Couple Of Years.

Is That Your Final Offer?

Pam, This Is Not An Offer.

Look, I'm Not Saying

You're Not Eligible
For Those Schools.

But The Probability
Of Acceptance Is Remote.

One In , , Maybe.

Oh, One In , , Maybe.

Okay, Just So I Know My Odds.

Well, Thank You,
Mr. Bostic.

Listen, If I Can Help You
Any Other Way, I'm Here.

Yeah, Yeah, Yeah,
I Know.

Hey, How Did It Go?

Fine.

Did You Know Mr. Bostic
Is One Of The Ugliest Men

I've Ever Seen In My Life?

What?

Did You Notice
The Hair Growing Out Of His Ears

And The Mole On His Neck
That Moves When He Talks?

Not Our Mr. Bostic.

I'm Surprised
You Didn't Notice

As Studious As You Are.

What About Going
To A University?

Oh, He Said
I Was Eligible.

One Of The Last Things He Said
Was I'm Eligible.

Really?

Yeah, So Let's Fill Out

These College Applications.

Come On. Don't Hold Me Back.

All Right, See You Later, Andre.

Nice Job.

Now...

We Will See.

Uh-Huh...

All Right, Andre.

Mm-Hmm.

Nice Work, Nice...

Whoa.

I...

Hammer Time.

Hey.

Ooh!

I'm Sorry. I'm Sorry.

Did I Do That?

Well, Dear, Look, Things Happen.

Oh, sh**t.

Don't Worry About It, Honey.

This Will Be
Just Between You And Me.

No, No, No.

Tell Everybody
Pam Did It.

Pam Does Everything
Wrong.

Pam, You Didn't Do It.

I Did It.

Don't Patronize Me.

I Got To Fill Out
These College Applications

With No Help
From My Guidance Counselor.

You Mean Mister...

(Panting)

Yeah, That Geek.

Geek?

Now, Why Is He A Geek
All Of A Sudden?

I Don't Want
To Go Into This Right Now.

I've Got Penn, Hillman,
And Bowling Green On My Back.

University Of Pennsylvania?

Okay.

Are You Another One Who Says
I'm Not Qualified For Anything?

No, No, No, I'm...

Listen, When You're Focused

You Can Do
Whatever You Want To Do.

Yeah, I Can Go
Into Demolitions Right Now.

Pam, You Didn't Do This.

You Didn't Do It, Okay?

Okay.

All Right.

Got To Get Back To
These College Applications.

You People Tell Me,
"Go To College."

Now I Want To Go To College
And You People Won't Let Me In.

I Wish You People

Would Make Up
Your Mind.

Mind Your Own Business.

Ooooh!

There's No "Ooh."

See, You Come Down Here

And Right Away, The First Thing
You Do Is "Ooh."

You're As Bad As Mrs. Huxtable.

This Is An Air Hole.

Okay? It's An Air Hole.

Come Here. Come Here.

Now, Put Your Hand
In There.

Put Your Hand In There.

What Do You Feel?

What Do You Feel?

Nothing.

That's Right. Air.

Put Your Hand Out.

What Do You Feel?

Air.

sh**t.

(Knocking)

Come In.

Hi, I'm Practicing
For Show And Tell.

Would You Like To Watch?

Oh, Sorry,
I'm Busy Right Now.

Oh, But This Is My First Show
And Tell In The Whole World.

I Don't Want To b*mb.

Okay, Okay,
But Just A Little Bit.

Okay.

Places, Everyone,
Places.

Hello, Everyone.

This Is A Real Genuine Oyster

Which Denise And My Dad Sent
From Hong Kong.

Say Hello, Mr. Oyster.

(Nasal Voice:) Hello.

Now, When Mr. Oyster Here
Eats A Grain Of Sand

It Sits In His Tummy
And He Has Indigestion

And Then He Makes A Pearl

But If You Get A Lot Of Oysters
With Indigestion

You Can Make A Whole Necklace.

Isn't That Wonderful?

Mm-Hmm.

(Sobbing)

I'm Sorry. He Won't Die.

It's Just A Tummy Ache.

It's Not Mr. Oyster, Olivia.

It's Ms. Pam.

Do You Have A Tummy Ache Too?

No, No, No,
You Don't Understand.

See, I Was Just Minding
My Own Business

For Three Years
Of High School.

Now, Come Senior Year,
My Best Friend Is Leaving Me.

Oh...

I'm Sorry.

Me Too. I Didn't Know.

I Didn't Know Either.

And Now I Can't Make It Up.

All Those Times
I Could Have Studied.

I Could Have Done Better
In Those Classes.

Now She's Going Away
To Some Big University

And Leaving Me All Alone.

No, You Won't Be All Alone.

We'll Be Together.

We'll Do Our Homework Together.

We'll Go To College Together.

Oh, Olivia, You So Sweet.

You Are Too.

I Need To Be Alone
For A While, Okay?

Okay, Buddy.

Pam?

Yes?

Now That We're Best Friends...

I Was Thinking

That We Could Move Rudy
In With The Twins

And I Can Move In
With You, Buddy.

Let's Think On It.

Okay, Buddy.

(Whimpering)

If You Need Me, Buddy,
You Know Where I Am.

Thanks A Lot, Andre.

You Did A Wonderful Job

And I'll Keep Those Children
Away From That Wall.

Uh-Oh.

Bad Day At The Office?

You Had Show And Tell Today.

What Happened With The Oyster?

I Was The Last One To Get Up
And Show My Talking Oyster

And Just When I Was About
To Make It Talk

There Was A Fire Drill.

Then Everyone Started
To Marching Out.

Then The Teacher Said

(Deep Voice:)"Olivia, Get Your Clam
And Let's Go."

So You Didn't Get To Do It?

Would You Do Your
Show And Tell For Us?

I Don't Think She Wants
To Do That

Because The Oyster's Very Tired
And Wants To Sleep.

That's How They Make The Pearls.

When They Turn Over,
It Starts To Agitate.

That's When The Pearls Come Up,
So It Should Sleep Now.

Oh, No.

It Wants To Talk.

Assemble Everybody
In The Living Room

And You Can Do
Your Show And Tell For Us.

Okay,
But We Had Better Eat Late.

I Have Lots
To Cover.

Cliff, You Should Hurry Up
And Come Too.

That Oyster's Going To Tell Us
Something About A Hole.

When We Get In This Room,
You Keep Your Mouth Shut.

Are Those Your College
Applications In The Trash?

Did I Miss Something?

Oh, That's History.

I'm Not Ready Yet.

You're Good Enough.

Let's Just Say Our Paths
May Cross Someday

But Right Now,
I'm Leaving It

Up To My Friend Charmaine
To Blaze The Trail.

I Thought This
Would Be So Hard For You.

No, Not A Problem,
Not A Problem.

I May Not Get Into
All Those Schools.

Charmaine, You'll Get In.

Bowling Green I Feel Confident
About, And Maybe Hillman.

It Would Be A Gift
To Have All Three Under My Belt

Step Back, Make A Luxurious
Decision And Hit The Campus.

Ouch!

Oh, I'm Sorry

But You've Got To Stop Jiggling.

Yeah, Okay.

Well, You Know, I Can't Decide
Whether To Study

In The Wide Open Spaces
Of The Midwest

Or To Keep On The Pulse
Of The City

At The University
Of Pennsylvania.

Ouch!

Honey, Do You Have
Any Dullpins?

Doing The Best I Can.

I Don't Mean To Keep
Going On About Myself.

That's Okay.

You're Not The Only One
With Pins... I Mean, Plans.

Out With It, Girl.

What Do You Plan On Doing
Next Year?

Well, I'm Really Leaning
Toward California.

California?

To Be With My Mother.

All The Way Across
The Country?

Yeah. Who Knows?

I'll Probably Study Design
And Get A Job

In Some Costume Department
At A Hollywood Studio.

You Can Introduce Me
To Celebrities.

Charmaine, They're Just
Like You And Me.

Pam, If You Go To California,
When Will We See Each Other?

When Were You Planning
On Seeing Me?

I Thought You'd Still Be
In New York

And On Weekends I'd Invite You
Down To The Dorm.

Ouch!

You'll Lose That Job

If You Treat Stars
Like You Treat Me.

I'll Be Professional
And Succeed At What I Do Too.

I Never Said You Wouldn't.

You Never Said I Had Anything
To Offer.

I Guess I Didn't.

Well, I Guess Next Year

We'll Find Out
If I Do.

Pam, I Never Thought

About You Not Succeeding.

I Mean, You Were Always
So Much More Talented Than Me

With Your Fashion
And Your Singing

Your Creativity,
Your Sense Of Humor.

I Mean, It Was Just A Matter
Of Which Way You Wanted To Go

And If It Wasn't For You,
I'd Be A Social Seaweed Today.

Pitiful Flotsam Bobbing
On The East River.

You're My Best Friend.

I Know, And You're Mine.

And I Love You. I Really Do.

I Love You Too.

And We'll Always Be Together.

Yes, We Will.

Even When We're Apart?

Yes, You Know It.

Now, Charmaine,
Don't Make Me Cry Again.

Well, I'm Entitled.

You're My Homey.

(Knocking)

Come In.
Come In.

What's The Matter?

We're Best Friends.

I Understand.

My Buddies!

Yes.

We're All Buddies.

Yeah.

That's Right.

Friends To The End.