08x05 - Warning: A Double-Lit Candle Can Cause a Meltdown

[bunniefuu]

(Giggles)

What Are You Doing?

Nothing.

You're Playing

The Word Scramble Game,
Aren't You?

Maybe I Am, Maybe I'm Not.

Okay.

Well, I Think Maybe You Am.

Let Me Play.

That's Quite All Right.

No, Come On...

You Always Spoil It.

But You Got
An Empty Space.

Let Me Try...

Okay, Okay.

The Letters Are
E, L, X, E, F, R.

E, L, X...

E, F, R.

Make A Real Word, Cliff.

F-E-L-X-E-R.

That's Felxer.

Felxer.

Felxer.

When You Go
To The Pharmacy

With A Soda Foundain

And You Have A Lot Of Acid
Or Something

And You Want To Get Rid Of It

You Ask For A Glass Of Felxer

Which Is, Uh...

It's Really Soda,
But It's Got Twice The Fizz.

No, No, No, Wait.

Okay, If You Don't
Like That...

No, Felxer's Fine.

Okay, How About This?

Okay, Let's See.

How About, Um...

E-E-L-F-X-R.

E-L-L-F-X-R.

Now That Would Be An Eel...

Eel Fixer.

See...

Shut Up, Cliff.

No, No,
I Got Another.

No, That's All Right.

I've Got My Choices, Honey.

(Broken Doorbell RingsPitifully)

How About Bell Fixer?

I'm Trying.

I'm Trying.

I'm Trying To Fix That Up.

Oh, No.

Look At This.

Well, Well,
Mademoiselle Danielle

And Crepe Suzette.

Both:
Hi, Dr. Huxtable.

Rudy! Danielle
And Susan Are Here.

Hey, You Guys.

Come On In.

We'll Be
In The Kitchen Awhile.

We Need Our Privacy, Okay?

Listen, If You Want

Your Mother And I
Can Go Outside

And Sit In The Car.

All Right, Dad, Whatever.

Yeah, Uh, Rudy?

Can I See You, Please?

All Right.

I Just Want A Kiss.

I'm Not Going Anywhere.

But I Just... Need...
A Litle Kiss.

'Cause I'll Miss You.

Cliff, You're Bleeding.

Yes.

You Have Some
Very Sharp Lips.

It's Not Even Lipstick.

It's Just...

...A Little Lip Balm.

So My Lips Won't...

...Get Chapped.

Dad, Everyone...

...In The World...
...Wears Makeup.

But It's...

It's True.
It's True.

Now Just Take That

And Wipe It Off.

No, No, No.

Wipe It Off.

Daddy, I Wiped It.

No...

Okay, I'm Wiping It.

Okay.

For That Kissable Look...

Pooh.
Pooh.

Excellent.

Oh My Gosh!

What?

J.T. Freeze.

Our J.T. Freeze.

Does He Have A New Song?

No, But He's Got
A New Haircut.

(Both Sigh)

Did You Ask Your Parents
About The Exchange Club?

Not Yet.

Why Not?

My Parents Would Never Let Me Go
To A Dance Club

Even If Their Future Son-In-Law
Is There.

But You Could Be
The Lucky Winner

Of The Happy Birthday
Dance With J.T.

Brought To You By...

♪Da-Dah!♪

♪Wuvv--The Station That Wuvs You!♪

Also By Blem Away
Medicated Pads.

When Your Face
Breaks Out...

(Horrified Screams)

...Blem Away
Kicks In.

Hello!
Hello!
Hello!

Are You Going To Get
Permission Or What?

What Did You Tell
Your Parents?

I'm Going
To Bible Study.

They Believed That?

They Wanted To Believe It.

I Told My Dad
My Mom Said Yes.

She's On A Retreat
So He Can't Check.

He's Even Driving Us Both Ways.

Come On, Rudy.

You Just Have
To Be Creative.

And, If It Helps

J.T. Really Likes
Mature, Assertive Women.

Right.

X-E-L-F-E-R.

Xelfer.

See, The "X"
Takes On A "Z" Sound.

Xelfer.

Xelfer Is... A...

m*llitary Base In Mexico.

And I'm Surprised
That The Pentagon

Has Allowed
This Kind Of Information

To Be Included In A Word Game.

The Word Is "Reflex," Darling.

It Was "Reflex" Minutes Ago,
And It's "Reflex" Now.

Okay, If That's The One
You Want To Put In There.

Fine.

Hi, Mom.

Hi, Dad.

Hello, Rudy.

How You Doing?

Fine.

Susan And Danielle Invited Me
To A Real Special Event.

It's In The Village

On th Street,
Off Union Square.

It's Called
The Exchange...

The Cultural Exchange.

It's A Teen Bible Club

And There's
Going To Be...

A Guest Speaker From A Retreat.

Just To Help Me Clarify

What Is This Place?

It's A Place Where People Come
To Exchange Culture.

You Know, Culture--
Like The Museums And Opera.

And The Bible Too.

Naturally.

And Susan's Father
Would Drive Us Both Ways.

Well... It Sounds Like
Everything's On The Up And Up.

How About You, Clair?

Sounds Okay To Me.

It Does?

Mm-Hmm.

(Chuckles)

Listen, I'm Pretty Sure

You'll Get A "Yes" On This

But Give Us A Little Time
To Think It Over.

Okay.

Thank You.

Bye-Bye.
Bye-Bye.

Nice Talking
To You.

(Broken Doorbell Rings)

I'm Tired, Honey.

Please, I'm So Tired

I'm Too Tired
To Answer The Doorbell.

Would You Please?

You're Too Tired To Fix It Too.

No, You're Too Tired.

Lance.
Good Evening,
Mrs. Huxtable.

Dr. Huxtable.
Hey.

Wait A Second...

Pam! Charmaine!

Yes, Sir?

Smooth Groove Is Here.

All Right.

You Got A New Doorbell.

Some Jazz Fusion Happening.

Have A Sit-Down.

I Want To Ask You
A Question.

Um...

Do You Know
Of A Club

Called The Cultural
Exchange Club?

No. I Know A Club
Called The Exchange.

Rudy Says It's On th,
Off Of Union Square.

Yeah, That's The Block,
But That's The Exchange.

Does It Have Anything
To Do With Culture?

The Museum?

Opera?

Bible Study?

Bible..! No, No.

What Is The Exchange Club?

It's Just This Whack Club...

A What?

It's Whack.

It's This Little Nothing Club.

You're Supposed To Be
To Get In

But Junior High Kids
Dress Up Older

And They Let Them In Too.

Basically,
They Good Kids

Sneaking Out On Their Parents...

Ohh!

I Ain't In This.

You Are Now.

Hey.
Hi, Lance.

Let's Go.

I Hate Missing
The Opening Credits.

Your Little Cousin Is About
To Socially Self-Destruct.

What?

Rudy Is Going To The Exchange.

Oh, No!
Oh, No!

When?

No, No, You Don't Have
To Talk Loud About It.

She's Going Tomorrow.

I Can't Let This Happen
To My Cousin.

Let Me Ask You.

This Is A Club.

Is There Any
Alcohol There?

No. It's Just A Bunch
Of Lame, Old-Head Dudes

That Hang Out There.

Old Heads?

You Know, Dudes
Pushing What-- , ?

These Guys Can't Swing
With Their Own Peers

And They Prefer The Challenge
Of -Year-Olds.

Well, Let Me
Ask You All A Question.

Is It Possible That
You All Could Take Tomorrow

And Go Down To The Club

And Do A Little
Surveillance Work For Us?

Sir, I'm There.

Count Me In.

We Would Be
More Than Happy

To Cover
Your Expenses.

That's Okay,
Mrs. Huxtable.

Just Helping You Out--
That's Enough.

No, That's Very True

However,
What With The Cost Of Admissions

Uh... Disguises

Surveillance Beverages

And Cab Fare

The Evening Could Become
Quite Prohibitive.

What Kinds Of Disguises
Do You Plan To Use?

Well, Disguises So We Won't
Be Recognized As Old Heads.

I Don't Want Nobody Mistaking Me
For A Bird Of Prey.

I Accept What You're Saying

And What Mrs. Huxtable
And I Would Love To Do

Is Treat You To A Sort
Of Pre-Surveillance Dinner.

All Right.

Keep Our Energy Up.

And May I Suggest
A Little

Post-Surveillance
De-Briefing Dessert?

Okay, We Will Cover That

And I Do Want You To Know,
Lance, Sir Lance

That No Matter
What This Evening Costs Us

Mrs. Huxtable And I
Will Always Be In Debt To You.

Dr. Huxtable,
You Have No Idea.

Both:
Good Night.

Good Night.

What If They Ask
For I.D.?

They Won't Ask
If We Look .

Do I Look ?

You're Stressing Me Out.

I'll Break Out.

It's A Good Thing
We Have Our Complimentary

Blem Away
Travel Kits.

Look, There's Rudy.

Shh, Get Back.

You Don't Want Her
To Recognize Us.

Whoo, Man,
It's Hot Under Here.

Lance, You Picked Out
That Stupid Disguise.

A Simple Hat
Would Have Been Enough.

I'm Not Taking
Any Chances Tonight.

Stop Calling Me Lance.

My Name Is Trevor.

Oh! Good Evening.

Keep Your Ticket Stubs.

You Could Have
The Winning Number

For The Birthday Dance
With J.T. Freeze.

Oh, Sorry.

What Can I Get You
To Drink?

I'm Not Thirsty.

Me Either.

I'm Driving Tonight.

We Don't Serve Alcohol Here.

When Did That Start?

When We Opened.

Charmaine,
What Are They Up To?

They're Embarrassing
Themselves.

What Are They Doing?

Standing There
With Bad Makeup Jobs.

I'm Doing All I Can
To Hold Myself Back.

Excuse Me, My Fair Lady

But Do You Know C.P.R.?

Why Do You Ask?

Because Your Beauty
Just May Stop My Heart.

You Have Got
To Be Kidding.

No, Baby, The Only Thing
I've Got To Be Is By Your Side.

Fly, Fly Away.

Oh, To Be A Fly
On The Wall Of Your Life.

Lookie Here.

I Asked You To Go Away.

I'll Go Away

But The Memory Of You
Shall Linger In My Soul Forever.

(Girls Gasping)

Rudy:
There He Is.

Look, That's Him.

There He Is.

I See His Hair.

Oh, My Gosh.

Oh, My Gosh.

Guys, Guys,
You Have To Calm Down.

He Likes Mature,
Assertive Women.

Not Like Those
Girls.

Look At Them--
They're Mauling Him.

Susan:
That's So Declasse.

Let's Go Over.

No, No, No.

Let Him Find Us.

Mmm, Excuse Me,
My Fair Ladies.

Have I Just Won A Triple Crown
Of Beauty Or What?

What?
What?
What?

I Said Your Once, Twice,
Three Times The Ladies.

What?
What?
What?

Shall We Throw Caution
To The Wind

And Dare Ourselves To Dance?

What?
What?
What?

Do Y'all Want To Dance?

Which One Of Us?

Baby, I Don't Care.

We All Dance
Together.

We Come As
A Package Deal.

Mmm, Three Fine Mice.

Let's See How They Dance.

Lance,
What Are They Doing?

They Dancing
With That C.P.R. Fool.

At Least,
It Look Like Dancing.

Charmaine,
What's Your Diagnosis?

I'd Call The Vet
On That Hound.

Oh, Excuse Me.

No Problem... Mon.

Yo, Yo, Cinderlovelies.

Come Over Here.

Come Here.

Excuse Me, Mon.

I Noticed
Your Dance Steps.

You Give Lessons?

I Can Show You
Later.

I Got Three Fish
To Fry.

They're Too Small.

You Better Throw Them Back.

You The Game Warden?

That's Right,
And They're In My Custody.

Before You Try Dancing
With Them Three

These Two Want To Cut In.

No Problem, Man.

Look,
You Keep That Side.

I'll Work With This Side.

Excuse Me.

May I Have Your Attention,
Please.

I'd Like To Introduce
Our Guest Of Honor.

Our Own Homeboy.

The Master
Of Rap Disaster.

The Emperor Of Emotion.

Mr. J. T. Freeze.

♪ Hello, Everybody ♪

♪ And Thanks For Coming
To My Party ♪

♪ I Appreciate Your Help
To Celebrate ♪

♪ So I'm Pulling Out The Ticket
With The Girl Of My Dreams ♪

♪ Take A Look At The Numbers
And Control Your Screams ♪

♪ The First Is One
And Oh, Sweet Heaven ♪

♪ The Next Is Five
And The Last Is... Four? ♪

I Thought It Was Seven.

No, My Brother,
It's Four.

The Winner Is .

Oh! I Won! I Won!

Mr. J.T. Freeze!

I Can't Believe It.

We Won! We Won!

It's Pam.

And Charmaine.

They Stole Our Man.

Come On, Baby.

Charmaine:
Get Him, Girl.

Go On, Homie.

Oh My Gosh.

They're Coming
This Way.

Rudy, Calm Down.

Rudy, Danielle, Susan--

I'd Like You All To Meet
J. T. Freeze.

Hello.

Happy Birthday.
Happy Birthday.

Haircut, Nice.

♪ Rudy, Danielle, Susan,
So Fine ♪

♪ I'll Always Remember
This Birthday Of Mine. ♪

Excuse Me,
But I Think

You Got A Spider
On Your Face.

Oh, I'm Sorry.

That's
Your Eyelash.

Here.

Oh, No!

(Sobbing)

Is Your Friend
All Right?

Happy Birthday.
Happy Birthday.

(Wailing)

Happy Birthday.

I'm Assertive.

Happy Birthday.

I'm Assertive.

I Only Danced With Him
Because Of The Contest.

You Know How
Competitive I Am.

Is That Why
You Kept Yelling

"I'm Mrs. Freeze!
I'm Mrs. Freeze!"?

What You Talking About,
Charmaine?

Thank God You Lost Your Grip
On His Hood Ornament.

The Driver
Would Have Ran You Over.

I Was Just Checking
His Tire Pressure.

Pam:
Um, Rudy?

A Note Here Says There's
An Important Message For You

On The Answering Machine.

(Giggles)

I Hope It's None
Of My Friends

Asking How
Tonight Went.

Rudy, This Is Your Father.

I'm Going To Bed,
But Before I Do...

Clair:
Tell Her I'm Tired, Cliff.

I'm Tired Of -Year-Olds.

Cliff:
Your Mother's Tired, Rudy.

And I'm Tired.

And What You Did Is Tired.

But We Understand Your Desire
To Be With Older People.

In Fact, We Feel
You Should Spend Time

With Older People.

So You And Your Friends
Will Spend Every Saturday

For The Next Six Months
Volunteering

At The Ellen P. Bartow
Retirement Home.

What?!

Good Night.

You Took
The Man's Wrist Watch?

It Fell Off
On His Way Out.

I Was There.

He Flung It At You
To Save His Arm.

I'll Send It Back Tomorrow.

I Live Closer
To The Post Office.

I'll Send It Back
Tomorrow.

No, I Will Return It
Tonight.

They're Going
To The Palomino.

The Palomino?

Yippee-Ki-Ay,
Let's Ride!

My Fair Ladies!