08x13 - Theo's Future

[bunniefuu]

Woman:
Samantha Had The Opportunity,
But She Had No Motive.

Man:
Who's The Cop Here?

Besides, She Had No Training
In The Crossbow.

(Mystery Movie Music Playing)

Commercial Announcer:
For Cleaner, Brighter Laundry...

What Are You Doing?

Changing The Channel.

No. I Am Watching
This Movie.

It's A Commercial.

I'm Going To Scan.

That's What You Do All The Time.

You Scan.

But It's A Commercial.

They'll Be There
About A Minute And Seconds.

You Can Count.

One Alligator, Two Alligator...

I Don't Want To Count
Alligators, Cliff.

I Would Rather Watch
The Commercial.

Well, Fine, Okay.

Watch The Commercial.

If You Want To Live
A One-Channel Life...

You Probably Never Even Been
Past Channel .

Here.

Thank You Very Much.

I Better Not Miss
A Thing.

You're Not Going
To Miss Anything.

(Flipping Through Channels)

(Bell Ringing)

Oh, All Right, The Fight!

The Fight.

Cliff, That's Pay-Per-View.

The Picture
Is Scrambled.

I Know What It Is, Dear

But On Pay-Per-View

If You Do Your Head Like This
And Your Eyes...

Wait, He's Down!

I'm Going Back
To The Movie.

Huh?

Back To The Movie.

(End Credit Music Playing)

Now You See?

It's Finished.

Too Many Alligators.

Well, You Want To Watch
Something Else?

No, Thank You.

Don't Get An Attitude.

Hey, Dad, Hey, Mom.

Oh, Tim, Nikki, How Are You?

Both:
Hi, Dr. &Amp; Mrs. Huxtable.

You Remember Eugene?

Yes. How Are You, Eugene?

Hi, Dr. &Amp; Mrs. Huxtable.

Well, You Guys,
The Rummage Sale

Was A Huge Success.

Dad, There's
All Your Stuff Back.

What Do You Mean,
All My Stuff Back?

You Couldn't Sell My Stuff?

What..? What About..?

Why Couldn't You Sell
The Snack Captain?

Dad, It Was Broken.

It Is Not Broken.

All The Person Had To Do
Was Buy It

And Take The Wires
And Tighten It.

You Don't Have To Worry
About That, Dr. Huxtable.

We Made Lots Of Money

With Everyone
Else's Stuff.

We Even Made Enough Money

To Get The Computers
At The Center Repaired.

And Buy New Computer
Software, Right?

Come On, Mr. Megabyte.

Let's Take These Collectibles
To The Basement.

I'll Help.

Thanks A Lot.

Sure.

There's Cake
On The Counter.

Help Yourselves.

Be Careful With That Stuff.

Some Of It's Broken.

We're Very Glad
Things Went Well Today.

Thanks A Lot, Mom And Dad,
For Your Help.

Obviously,
We Didn't Do Much.

No, I Didn't Mean
The Rummage Sale.

I Meant
This Piece Of Paper Here.

My Baby...

My Baby!

What? What? What? What?

This Says, "Dear Mr. Huxtable,
I Am Pleased To Inform You..."

My Baby!

What?

My Baby!

What?!

Somebody Say What!

It Says That My Baby
Has Been Admitted

As A Master Of Arts Candidate
In The Department Of Psychology

At Nyu!

My Baby!

Thanks, Mom.

Thank You.

My Son.

My Son.

My Son.

All Right, My Son!

Thank You Very Much.

If You're So Smart

How Come You Couldn't Sell
My Snack Captain?

Cliff, Please.

We Have To Celebrate.

You Know, You And Tim
And Eugene And Nikki

Should Stay For Dinner.

Mom, I'd Love To,
But I Have To Get Eugene Back

And Tim Has Another
Recruiting Reception.

He's Getting His Degree
And He Still Can't Find A Job.

It's Rough.

Yeah, It's Tough.

I Got A Lot Of Friends
Who Are Out Of Work

But Thanks To You Guys

I Don't Have To Worry About That

For A While.

You're Still Paying
For My Grad School, Right?

Graduate School?

Yeah, Remember Me?

"Your Baby! Your Baby!"

That's What Your Mother Said.

How About, "My Son! My Son!"

You Want To Pick Up His Tab
For Grad School?

I Wouldn't Have It
Any Other Way.

Thanks, Mom.

Dad, Thank You.

And That
Celebration Dinner--

Let's Do It Next Week,
On Me.

Actually, It Will Be On You
'Cause It's Your Money

But I'll Make The Reservations.

Oh, Man.

You Got
The Checkbook Blues?

I Raised $ ,
For The Community Center

But I Can't Find More Than $ .
In My Own Checkbook.

Come With Me To This Reception.

Free Food
At The Best Thai Restaurant.

I Am Not Going To Just Crash
A Corporate Mixer.

There Will Be Plenty Of People.

No One Will Notice You.

Did You Say Free Food?

I Told You This Was
A Great Restaurant.

I'll Be Over
By The Food.

Put A Name Tag On.

You've Got To Blend In.

Okay.

Not So Sloppy, Theo.

Your Handwriting
Says A Lot About You.

And This Says, "Which Way
Is The Buffet Table?"

Ahh... Well, Hello, Mr. Shrimp.

(Tapping Glass)

May I Have
Your Attention Please?

I'm Gwen Graham...

And I'm
Andy Anderson.

Welcome To The Tartan
Company's Reception.

I'd Like To Thank You

For Your Interest
In Our Company.

Before We Start Eating...

(Clanging)

...We'd Just Like To Say
A Few Words.

I'm Sure Many Of You
Were Raised On Our Soups

But As Our Slogan Says,
"We're Not Just Soup Anymore."

We're Into Everything
From Broadcasting

To Agri-Business
To Major League Baseball.

(Silverware Clattering)

Um... Now, If You'd Like To,
Stop By The Buffet

And Help Yourself
To Whatever's Left.

Enjoy.

Excuse Me.

Excuse Me.

Well, Mr.... Hurtable

You Certainly Are
A Self-Starter.

Thank You.

So, Ms. Graham,
You Live In San Francisco.

The Home Office, Right?

Uh-Huh.

I Love
Those Cable Cars.

And Fisherman's Wharf.

Speaking Of Fishermen

I Understand You Reeled In
A High Earnings Last Quarter.

We Were Very Pleased
With Our Bottom Line, Mr....

Coyle. Archie Coyle.

Mr. Hurtable

You're Awfully Quiet
Over There.

Oh, I'm Just
Taking It All In.

What I Think Hurtable's
Trying To Say Is

This Is Some Restaurant.

It's Not Your Typical Cuisine--

It's Off The Beaten Path.

That Shows A Willingness
To Take Risks.

That's What Archie Coyle
Is All About.

Excuse Me, Guys.

Don't Miss The Noodles.

How About You,
Ms. Ladly?

What Are You About?

Money.

I Like It.

It's Necessary To Survive

And If I'm Making Money,
You're Making Money.

We Pay Very Fair Salaries.

You Seem Marketing-Oriented.

What Areas Interest You?

Which Areas
Have The Highest Salary?

I Can Answer That.

I Bet You Can, Mr....

Coyle. Archie Coyle.

Anyone Else Care To Share
Their Interest?

Mr., Uh... Huntable.

I Like Working
With People Who Help People.

Tartan Has Foundations
Dedicated To Charity.

And I Admire Tartan's Stand
On The Ecology.

We Have State-Of-The-Art
Environmental Programs.

Everybody's For Ecology

But Isn't The Goal
Of Corporations To Make Money?

They Can't Exist
Unless They Do.

It's A Question
Of Balance.

A Corporation
Is A Group Of Citizens.

They Have To Be Responsible

Inside The Corporation
And In The Real World.

That's Very True, Leo

But You'd Be Surprised
How Difficult It Is

To Get People
To Understand That Concept.

But It's So Clear.

As Long As You Respect People
As Individuals

What Else Is There?

For Example, It's Obvious

That You Do Not Respect
Your Customers By Your Slogan.

Oh, Gwen?

Go On, Leo.

Actually, It's Theo.

Excuse Me.

You Say That Tartan
Isn't Just Soup Anymore

But In These Tough Times,
Soup Is What People Need.

It's Highly Economical,
Nutritious, And Filling.

Believe Me, I Know.

Yes, I Can See That.

I Would Change The Slogan From
"Tartan's Not Just Soup Anymore"

To "We're Still Soup."

Theo, Hold That Thought.

Wait Here A Minute.

You Mind If I Have

One Of These
Chicken Things On A Stick?

Knock Yourself Out.

So, Mr. Hurtable...

It's Huxtable, Actually. Theo.

Sorry.

I Have To Thank You
For A Wonderful Evening.

Well, You're Welcome

And I Think You Have
A Wonderful Future...

At The Tartan Company.

Well, Thank You.

(Classical Music Playing)

(Humming)

What?

Don't You Want To See

What Else Is On?

I Beg Your Pardon?

Would You Like To See
What Is On?

This Is The Ballet.

You Said Do I Want
To See What's On?

Well, You Live Here Too.

Here.

Are You Angry With Me?

I Did Something Wrong?

We're All Right?

We're Fine.

I'm Going To Change.

Go Ahead, Cliff.

It's Fine, Really.

You Got A Stick
Or Something?

If I Change It,
You'll Hit Me.

No.

You Really Think You're Cute.

You Do.

You Think You're Cute.

Okay, Okay,
So You Got Me Good.

You Got Me Good.

Okay, So We'll Just Sit Here
And Watch The Ballet.

(Flipping Through Channels)

Cliff.

Huh?

You Bought Another Remote,
Didn't You?

Maybe I Did.
Maybe I Didn't.

No, No, No.

You Bought A Little
Tiny Remote, Didn't You?

Where?

What's In Your Pocket?

What's In My Pocket?

Go Ahead.
Search My Pocket.

It's In Your Hand.

Ahh, There It Is!

Come On, No, No, No.

Cliff, Don't! Stop!

I Got A Remote For You.

(Laughing Hysterically)

Don't! Don't!

Yee-Haw!

Whoo!

Time Out, Time Out, Time Out.

Uh, Excuse Me, Guys.
Is This A Bad Time?

No, We Do This All The Time
When You're Not Here.

We Weren't Expecting You.

Obviously.

Well, Can't A Son
Come Visit His Parents?

Can't A Son See
It's Snowing And Know

His Parents May Need Help
Shoveling The Sidewalk?

Can't A Parent Wonder Why
A Son Would Volunteer The Trek

All The Way To Brooklyn
To Shovel His Parents' Snow?

Uh, Well, Can't A Son Decide
That It's Time

To Stop Taking From His Parents
And Time To Start Giving Back?

I'll Take This One.

I Believe You,
And The Shovel Is In The Garage.

Well, You Know What?

I'll Get Right To It.

You're Just Going To Hang Around
And Wait For It To Accumulate?

Well, The Snow's
Not Going Anywhere.

I Figured
I'd Come And Sit Down

And Talk To My Parents.

All Right.

Okay, Here's The Thing.

I Went To This Recruiting
Reception Last Night With Tim

Only 'Cause I Was Hungry.

The Food Was Excellent

But As I Was Eating,
I Inadvertently Said Some Things

That Impressed These Executives
At The Tartan Company.

They Want To Fly Me
To San Francisco

For A Job Interview.

Tartan--
Weren't They The Soup Company?

Were, Are, And Will Be.

That's Where I Come In.

Where Are You Coming... As What?

In Industrial Psychology.

See, Dad, They Use Psych Majors
For Everything From Marketing

To Advertising To Dealing
With Executive Stress.

That's Not What You're
Studying In Grad School.

But Ask Me
How Much I'll Be Making.

Both:
How Much..?

$ , A Year.

You're Kidding.

No, Not At All.

That's $ A Week For Me.

That Means I Can Stop Sponging
Off Of You Guys.

That Means Independence.

That Means That I Can Be
The First Huxtable

To Leave This House
And Stay Gone.

Um, The Word "Sponge"--

That's Your Word.

You've Never Heard Us
Say Sponge.

And Paying For Your Education--

Well, That's Our Privilege
And Our Investment.

And Our Decision.

Now, Your Future...

Your Decision.

Thanks, Guys.

Cliff:
Okay.

I Knew You Guys Would Say That.

And I Know

That I Can Always Depend
On Mom And Dad.

See, But That's What
I've Got To Stop Doing.

If You Don't Mind,
I'm Going To Go Into The Garage

I'm Going To Find That Shovel

And I'm Going To Shovel
Your Sidewalk.

Take This
And Run That Back--

Not The Part Where He Say's He's
Going To Shovel The Sidewalk--

The Part About $ , A Year
And $ Just For Him

Because He's Going
To Hear A Different Song

When The Tax Man Cometh.

(Classical Music Playing)

May I Have

My Remote, Please?

Please, Shh!

We're At A Concert.

(Laughing)

Theo, Mr. Megabyte's
Here For You.

Oh, Man.

I'm On Time, Theo.

We're Just Going
To Buy Software.

You Don't Have To Pack
A Suitcase.

No, Eugene, I'm Sorry.

I Forgot About The Software.

When I Get Back, We'll Go.

Where You Going?

To San Francisco.

I Guess We Took In

More Money At The Rummage Sale
Than We Thought.

Funny. No, I'm Going
For A Job Interview.

A Job Interview?

For When I Graduate.

In June.

Yeah.

You Already Have A Job
At The Center.

I Want To Explore My Options
While I Have The Chance.

What Kind Of Job Is It?

With The Tartan Company.

The Soup Guys?

Yeah.

I'll Be Doing

Something Called
Industrial Psychology.

What Is That?

Well, It's Helping People,
But Helping People

In A Corporation Rather
Than The Community Center.

Oh, I Get It.

You Going For The Bank, Huh?

You'll Be Bicoastal--

Slick Apartment, New Car,
A Convertible, Huh?

Hey, Slow Down, Kid.

Why? That's The First Thing
I'd Get.

Then I'd Get New Clothes.

And Ladies?

Mmm.

Lots Of Ladies.

That's What Everybody Wants.

You Know What's The Best Part?

You're Going To Be
Doing It Legit.

You Won't Even Have
To Risk Going To Jail.

Eugene, One-- I'm Not
Going To Be Bicoastal.

And Two-- Life Isn't

About Getting Things.
You Know That.

Sure It Is.

That's What
It's All About, Man--

Money, Things,
Getting Out, Moving On.

If That's What You Think

I Haven't Done Much Of A Job
At The Center.

Then Why Are You Leaving?

Look, Man, I Want To Explore
Other Options.

Yeah, Yeah.

I Got That Part.

No, Hey, Hey, Eugene.

Look, Man.

I Want To Take An Opportunity
To Look At Something New

Rather Than Spend The Rest
Of My Life

Staying In The Same Place.

Come On, The World Is
More Than Our Neighborhood.

I Don't Even Know

If I'll Accept The Job
In San Francisco

Which They Haven't Offered Me.

Then Why Go?

I Have To Know
What I'm Turning Down.

Didn't I Teach You
To Look At All Possibilities

Before Focusing On Something?

How Do I Know
You're Coming Back?

Eugene, My Clothes Are Here.

You And I
Have To Buy Software.

I Have To Finish My Finals

Or I'm Not Going
To Graduate.

Why Am I Even Arguing
With You?

You're In Seventh Grade.

You Haven't Graduated.

I'm On The Honor Roll.

Who Helped You
Get On The Honor Roll?

You Did.

I'm Proud Of You.

You're Getting
An Education

Which Is The Best Way
To Give Yourself Options.

All Right.

You Look At Your Options
And Then You Decide

'Cause I Know One Thing--

You Ain't Choosing
Soup Over Me.

We'll Talk About It
When I Get Back From Frisco.

Okay.

Good Luck, Man.

Thanks.

Ooh, No, God.

Okay, All Right.

Now Take A Sweater

'Cause I Hear
It's Chilly Out There.

Oh, And One More Thing.

Don't Call It Frisco.

The Locals Hate It.