08x20 - Clair's Reunion

[bunniefuu]

Okay, I'll Cut It

And You Get To Pick
Which Half You Want.

Yummy!

Oh! Hey, Hey.

No, No, No.

What Are You Doing
With That Kn*fe?

It's Just
A Butter Kn*fe.

We're Cutting

The Fudgie Log.

Fudgie Log.

Winnie
Brought It Over

As A Sleep-Over
Treat.

Yeah. We're Sharing.

Yes.

Yes. Yes, Sharing.

So, We'll Cut It Into Threes.

Three?

Yeah, Three, Three.

You Cut It In Threes
Because...

I Mean, We're All Sleeping Over,
Aren't We?

Threes.

I Knew We Should Have
Done This Upstairs.

And Don't Forget

When I Finish Cutting This
Into Threes

Then You Guys Take This Upstairs

Because Grandma Is Having
Company Over, All Right?

That's Right.

She's Inviting
Her Old College Friends Over.

We Better
Get Out Of Here.

All Right.

(Door Opening)

Hey!

Hi, Dad.

How Are You?

And Dab...

Uh...

This Is Baathie Ndiaie.

Um, Baathie, Permettez-Moi
De Vous Presenter Mon Pere

Dr. Huxtable.

He's Not Rude, Dad.

He Speaks French

But He Doesn't Speak
Much English.

Baathie Is An Exchange Student
From Senegal

And I'm Showing Him
Around New York This Weekend.

Well, Let Me Just
Drop These Bags Off

In Rudy's Room.

Excusez Moi,Baathie.

Um, Will You Have
A Sit-Down?

So, Uh...

You, Uh...

You, Uh, Are
A Friend Of, Uh...

Of My...
Of Vanessa's.

Pardon?

Um, Vanessa.

Comment?

Uh, Como Se Diche...

Uh...

My, My, My Daughter...

Um, Has You For A Friend

And You Have Come To My Home.

I Welcome You Here.

However, She Had A Fiance

And His Name Was Dabnis.

Excusez Moi?

Do You Know She Was Engaged

And Her Fiance's Name Was Dabnis

And I Liked Him?

And I Want To Know Who You Are.

Excusez Moi?

Where Are Your Bags

Because You're Not Staying Here.

Hello.

Ah, Dear,
I Want You To Meet...

This Is
Vanessa's Friend.

She Brought Him Here
For The Weekend.

He Speaks
No English.

This Is
Mr. Bokchoi.

Baathie.

Baathie.

(Together:)
Baathie.

Baathie.

Ah, Very Nice

To Meet You,
Baathie.

Hi, Mom.

Well, Mom, Dad...

Right.

We're Leaving.

Yes, You Are.

And Have A Nice Time.

Qu'est Ce Que C'est Dabnis?

Clair

What's First
On The Agenda?

Professor Caple Of Hillman
Is Retiring

And Our Chapter
Of The Alumni Association

Is Organizing
The Farewell Banquet.

Well, Let's Get On With It

Because I Have
Quite A Few Things

To Say About Professor Caple.

We All Have A Few Things
To Say About Professor Caple

But Let's Wait
Till Leah Gets Here.

While We Wait

We Can Have A Hillman
Class Of ' Update.

Ladies, Anyone With Children
Doing Dazzling Things

With Their Lives?

Okay. Anyone
With Ungrateful Children

Who Make It Their Business

To Drive The Arrows
Through Your Heart?

Now You're
Talking.

You Take It First.

My Daughter Elaine

Has Decided
To Remain At Hillman.

What Year Is She?

We Don't Know.

Ruth, What's Her Major?

We Don't Know.

How Much
Is It Costing You?

Now That We Know.

My Son Christopher--

He Is Now A Sophomore Emeritus.

He's Been There So Long
They Think He's A Professor.

Meanwhile, On The Home Front

My Son Harold

Has A Severe Case
Of "Mom, I Know That."

Oh, Dear, He Must Be .

I Tell Him, "Harold

"If You're Going
To Pull Up Your Grades

You Have To..."

"Mom, I Know That."

Then I Tell Him,
"If You Want To Get A Job

You Have To..."

"Mom, I Know That."

And Then
I Tell Him

"Harold, If You Are
And You Are Not In College

The Money Stops."

He Tells Me, "Mom,
Tell Me Something I Don't Know."

I Been There.

What Are You Doing Now,
Maxine?

I'm In Grad School--
Art History.

Go 'Head, Girl.

(Doorbell Rings)

There She Is.

Leah!

Hi, Baby.

Sorry I'm Late, Everybody.

Perils Of Public
Transportation

And I Hadto Stop

And Get Some Sneakers
For My -Year-Old.

At Least I Think
They're Sneakers.

Honey, They're Called
"Air Warriors."

They Got A Pump,
Liquid In The Soles

And An Inner Tube
Around The Ankles.

Now, I Don't Know
If They're Sneakers

Or Some Kind
Of Flotation Device.

Is Your Son
Playing Basketball Now?

Jason? No.

He Wears Them To Watch Tv.

(Laughing)

Is He Wearing Overalls?

Oh, Yes.

You Know My Rudy?

I Beg That Girl Every Day

"Honey, Please Fasten Up
Both Sides Of Those Things."

We Went To The Market Last Week

And People Thought She Had
Just Brought In The Produce.

Where Were We
On The Agenda?

Professor Caple's Testimonial.

Now Listen To This.

I Had It Written Down.

That's Okay.

I Know It By Heart.

Professor Jean Caple

Is One Of America's Foremost
Philosophical Minds.

She Has Written Six Books.

She Was Very Active
In The Civil Rights Movement

But She Always Had Time
For Her -Year-Old Students.

Boring.

Nap Time.

Besides, It Doesn't
Say Anything

About What The Woman
Is Really Like.

If You Want

To Describe Professor Caple

You Got To Start With The Hat.

Oh, The Hat!

The Hat.

She Wore That Hat
Every Day.

That Old Yellow Felt Thing
With The Wire Brim.

She Could Shape It
In Different Ways.

She'd Flip To One Side

And Come In Looking Like
A Pirate

And Then Snatch It Around
To The Front

And Walk Out Looking Like
A Yellow Rose.

She Could Work A Hat.

Well, What Are We
Supposed To Say, Clair?

That Professor Caple

Was One Of The Hardest
Professors At Hillman.

She Always Flunked You
With A Smile.

My Transcript Had All "A's"

Not Even An "A-"

And She Gave Me A "C."

She Kept Writing On My Paper

"Dig Deeper. An Unexamined Life
Is Not Worth Living."

There Wasn't No Deeper To Get.

One Day Cliff And I Decided
To Leave Campus

And Go To Virginia Beach.

Uh-Oh.

I Know, But We Did It Anyway.

So There We Were
Walking Along On The Sand

Holding Hands, Being Romantic,
Having A Good Time

And Who Is On The Beach
Clamming?

Yes, She Was.

Professor Caple

And Had That Hat
Full Of Steamers.

Yes, She Did!

I Used To Dream About Her.

I'd Be Snatching
That Yellow Hat Off Her Head

And Underneath It
Was Another Yellow Hat.

I'd Snatch
That One Off...

Another One.

All She Kept Saying Was,
"Dig Deeper.

Dig Deeper."

So Where Are You Going Tonight,
Ms. Tibideaux?

The Circus.

I Have Just The Right Style
For That-- Ringlets.

Hey, Get Your
Red-Hot Blankets Here.

Red-Hot Blankets
For The Sleepover.

Red-Hot Blankets.

Here You Go.

Sir, Please,
This Is Not A Bedroom.

I Beg Your Pardon?

Well...

What Is It?

Olivia's House Of Beauty.

Oh, I'm...

I Must Be In The Wrong Place

Because I Was Looking
For An Apartment

With Two Bachelorette Girls.

Well, Come Here,
Darling.

They're Not Here

But You Look Like
You Could Use
A Little Touch-Up.

Do You Have
An Appointment?

No, No,
I'm Just A Guy.

I Could Do Wonders
With That.

Let Me Check My Book.

Hmm...

We Might Be Able To Fit You In.

Well, I Would Love That
If It's All Right.

I'll Be Right Back,
Ms. Tibideaux.

Come Over Here
To The Sink.

To The Sink?

Yes.
Yes.

We Need
To Give You A Shampoo First

To Put The Shine Back In.

Yes... Okay.

I Thought I'd Lost It.

(Imitating Running Water)

Now You Tell Me
If It's Too Hot Or Too Cold.

Well...

I Can...

I Can Feel...

I Can Feel The Tingle.

You May Want To Consider
A Color Rinse

To Get Rid
Of This Gray Up Here.

Yes... What?

To Get Rid
Of This Gray Up Here.

Gray, Um...

Do You Have Any Baldness
In Your Family?

Yes, Uh, Yes...

But Why?

Is My Hair Getting Thin?

Never Mind.

Well,
What Color Do You Suggest?

May I Suggest Light Blue?

It's Very Popular
With People Your Age.

Madame Olivia, I'm Waiting.

Just A Little Bit Longer.

You'll Be So Happy.

Now, We're Going
To Put You In A Towel.

Yes.

Would You Like
To Read While You Wait?

Yes, I Would.

Here's A Nice Style Book

In Case
You Want To Make A Hair Move.

You Must Be Getting Tired

Of That Same
Old Look.

What Do You Suggest?

Ringlets.

Ringlets?

Is That What You're Getting?

Oh, Yes.

This Is
For The Circus.

Stunning.

You Look Good.

Thank You Very Much.

You're Welcome.

Now, A Little Hair Spray...

(Imitating Spraying)

And You Are A Dream.

But You Should
Make The First Statement.

Magnificent.

Let Me Walk You To Your Car,
Ms. Tibideaux.

Thank You.

Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey.

I'll Be Right
With You, Sir.

You Can't Rush Beauty.

Oh...

Hello, Madame Olivia.

I'll Be Right
With You.

I Thought
I Had The : Appointment.

Who Would Have Thought
Little Rose Patterson?

The Dormitory Wallflower.

Not Me.

And There She Was--

Going Out With That
Agricultural Major--

Poultry Division.

We Called Him
"Turkeyneck Clark."

Had Those Hairs Here.

(Imitating Turkey Gobble)

With His Collar
Buttoned Up.

What A Geek.

That Geek Owns
Half The State Of Virginia.

That's Right.

Two Words: "Turkey Loaf."

Then It's True?

People Like Turkeyneck Clark

Frighten Me.

Why?
Why?

Because When My Son
Christopher

Reads An Article Like That,
He Wants To Go Out

And Put A Down Payment
On His Own Turkey Farm.

He Does Not Realize The Work

That Man Put
Into Something Like That.

These Kids Don't See Work.

They See The Cash Rolling In.

What Do They Want?

Money.

When?
Now.

Whose Do They Want?

Mine.
Mine.
Mine.

But Ladies,
We Are Not Without Blame.

We Are The Ones Who
Buy Expensive Sneakers

For People To Sit Up
And Watch Television In.

I Don't Think Any Of Us
Were Interested In Clothes.

Well... Except Millicent Here.

Yes, It's True.

I Like To Dress Well.

Still Do.

But I Was With You Guys
At Gilliam's Five And Dime.

The Lunch Counter...

Thursday, April , .

I Was Never So Scared
In My Life.

Do You Remember
How We Marched In?

Oh, Yes,
We Were The Second Shift.

We Came
Shoulder To Shoulder

Tapped The First Shift
On The Back

They Moved Off Their Stools
To The Left...

And Then We Got In On The Right
And Sat Down...

And Who Was Sitting At The End
Of That Lunch Counter?

The Yellow Hat.

Mm-Hmm.

Shaped Like Napoleon.

Professor Caple
Under It.

The Sound Of Those Heavy Feet

Coming Across
That Linoleum Floor Towards Us

We Just Kept Looking
Straight Ahead...

And All Of A Sudden,
"Hey, Girl!"

Ooh, I Knew
They Were Right Behind Us.

Listen,
The Next Thing I Heard Was

"You Look Downright Thirsty,
Girlie"

And They Poured Coke In My Lap.

They Really Got You Good,
Millicent.

I Thought You Would Lose It.

They Sure Did.

What Did They Say?

"You Ain't Getting Nothing
To Eat."

Then They Shook
This Ketchup Bottle In My Face.

Then They Said,
"How About Some Ketchup?"

They Poured That Stuff
All Over My Dress.

I Was So Glad That

That Was Just Ketchup
Running Down My Dress.

And You Almost Broke.

Yeah, But I Looked Over There

And Saw The Yellow Hat
Sitting Straight Up

Straight As A Board,
Eyes Dead Ahead.

She Didn't Even Look At Me.

She Said, "Don't You Move."

When Professor Caple Says,
"Don't Move"

You Don't Move.

The Next Day,
When We Went To Class

We Were So Proud.

What Did Professor Caple Say?

"Ladies...

"You Have A Responsibility...

(Laughing)

"To Fight Injustice.

"And You Have A Responsibility
To Educate Yourselves.

"Now Yesterday,
When You Missed My Class

"You Chose One Over The Other.

"And I Have Asked My Substitute

To Give You All An "F"
For The Day."

After All
We Had Been Through.

Oh, She Made Me So Mad.

But Do You Know She Was Right?

I Went Back To See Her
After Class.

You Did?

I Wanted To Talk
About That Lunch Counter.

I Wanted To Know
How People Could Hate Like That.

I Figured If Anybody
Had The Answer

It Would Be
A Professor Of Philosophy.

It Was
The Only Time

She Did Not Have An Answer

But She Did Say Something

That I Have Cherished

Which Is Why I Volunteered
To Organize This Dinner.

What Was That?

She Told Me
I Was Her Favorite Student.

That's Lovely, Clair

Because She Told Me I Was
Her Favorite Student.

Same Thing.

She Told Me

I Was Her Very Favorite Student
And She Gave Me A "C."

I Got You There.

She Gave Me An "F."

And She Told Me That I Was Her

Most Favorite
Student.

Clair

Do You Have
Professor Caple's Phone Number?

Oh, Yes, I Do.

Her Favorite Students

Would Like To Call Her
And See How She's Doing.

Maybe I Can Get Her
To Up My Grade.

Oh, Millicent...

Dig Deeper.

Cliff:
♪ Ta-Dum ♪

♪ Ta-Dum. ♪

And, Um... How Was Your Day?

Professor Caple
Sends Her Regards.

Professor Caple.

My Goodness Gracious.

What Is She Doing With Herself?

She Said That
She Did Not See The Logic

In Five Busy Women
Trying To Plan A Dinner

For An -Year-Old Retiree

And Told Millicent
To Get On With Her Life.

Dig Deeper.

You Know...

At The End Of The Semester

She Told Me That...

Of All The Students...

She'd Ever Had...

That I Was Her Favorite...

Her Favorite Student.

And I Bet You Were.

Mm-Hmm.

She Gave Me A "C."

You Know, Whenever You Have
One Of These Alumni Meetings

I Feel Good.

I Start To Think
About The Good Old Hillman Days.

I Know.

Remember When We Used
To Walk Around That Campus

With Ivy-Covered
And Holly-Covered Buildings?

We'd Be Holding Hands...

Yes.

Talking About
Getting Married...

Yes, Please.

Having Children...

Yes, Please.

Did We Do It?

Yes, We Did.
Huh?

Yes, We Did.
Yes, We Did.

We Kicked It All,
Didn't We?

You Know What Else
I Remember?

What?

What Was That Perfume?

It Must Have Cost Cents.

(Laughing)

What Was It?

It Cost Cents,
And It Was Lemon Verbena.

Whoo, Whoo, Whoo.

I Tell You,
I Loved It.

I Loved It!

I'm Going
To Tell You Something.

When We Ran Track

Running That

Which Is One Of The Worst Races
On The Face Of This Earth

And I Would Get To The Mark

And Rig Would Start To Grab Me,
And Bend Muscles Back

And Three Fourths Of My Brain
Was Saying

"If You Stop Now,
You'll Still Be Alive."

And I'd Close My Eyes
'Cause I'm On The Straightaway

And I Smelled Your Perfume
All The Way...

And Broke That Tape.

And You Looked Good...

Then...

And You Look Good... Now.

Yeah.

And You Were
Indescribable Then

And You Are
Indescribable Now.