08x21 - Rudy's Retreat

[bunniefuu]

Cliff.

What Are You Doing?

That's Dinner.

I Know What Time It's For.

I Was Just Making
A Little Stew Sandwich.

At Least Use A Paper Towel.

Can I Have A Cup?

How About
If You Just Get Out Of Here?

Hmm... You Used To Be
A Nice Person

But Now You Are
N-N-No Good.

Cold Woman Too.

Dinner At Danielle's.

Back By : , Okay?

Rudy, Come Back Here.

Dinner Is Here. Set The Table.

Danielle's Expecting Me.

You Didn't Ask Me.

I Needs To Be With My Friends.

Besides, All You Ever Talk About
Is Mortgages And Russia.

We'll Change The Conversation
For You.

We'll Talk About Traffic
And The Recession.

Set The Table For Five.

(Muttering:) Set The Table. Clear The Table.

Do You Have Something To Say?

Oh, No.

No, No.

Cliff...

Yeah.

They're Here.

What's Happening?

What Happened Here?

Am I Supposed To Leave?

Who's Here?

The Moody Rudy Blues.

Do They Itch?

Ah, To Be

And Afflicted
With Parents.

Yes.

(Broken Doorbell Rings)

I'm Getting Close.

Did You Hear It Almost?

All I Need To Do Is Tighten
That One Little Screw Again.

Almost, Dear.

Well.

Hey.

Prisoners Escaping
From Their Homes.

You're Not Moving
In Here, Are You?

Oh, Yes.

That's Right.

You Guys Are On Your Way Down
To Look At Hillman College.

That's Right.

I Want To See
If Hillman Is Worthy

Of The High Standards
I Set For Myself.

Oh, Lance.

Clair:
Charmaine, I Knew

You Received
A Letter Of Acceptance.

Lance, You Got One Too?

I Got A Letter--
Something About A Wait List.

We'll Take Care Of That
When I Get Down There.

For The Bon Voyage Dinner,
What Do You Think?

This One Or This One?

There's More Than One
Decision To Be Made.

Excuse Me--
Fashion Alert.

...Didn't Know
What To Do With Herself.

Jumped Out There, And...

(Telephone Rings)

Ah, Ha-Ha! I b*at You To It.

Howdy-Do.

Please, Dad.

Hello, Danielle, Ma Belle.

How's Every Little Thing?

Just Well?

That's Swell. Do Tell.

Oh, You Want Rudy?

She Looks A Little Tired.

Dad, Come On.

(Teasingly:) Dad, Come On. Please, Please.

Just One Second.

I Think Lazarus Just Came Back.

Hey, Hey, Hey.

Hey, Danielle.

What's Up?

It Was Whack.

Yeah, I Was Cold Busted.

No, My Mom.

No Reason.

She Just Dissed Me.

All Right.

I'll Talk To You Tomorrow.

All Right. Peace Out. Bye.

"Peace Out"?

I Thought Peace Was In.

I Don't Know.

Bing-A-Bing, Whacka-Doom-Boom.

Well, Doctor...

Your Dinner's Ready.

Oh, Good.

I'm Ready.

Sondra And Elvin Are Late.

They Had An Appointment
With Their Attorney.

Uh-Oh.

Now, I Resent That.

What Is That, "Uh-Oh"?

Every Time
Somebody Sees A Lawyer, See

That Is Not Necessarily
Bad News.

Sondra And Elvin
Are Coming From The Lawyer

After Having A Meeting

And They Say
They're Bringing Good News?

Uh-Oh.

Okay.

So Peace Out.

Sondra, How Is
Your Bar Exam

Preparatory Course
Coming?

Two More Weeks,
And I Am Home Free.

What Perplexes Me Is

That Product Liability
Precedent, Waverly V. Mulhern.

The Key To That Precedent
Was Brockman V. Marshall.

There's Obvious
Contributory Negligence

With Forethought
On The Part Of The Plaintiff.

Oh, Contributory Negligence.

Well, Elvin.

Hmm?

The Shinbone
Connects To The...

Connects To

The Thigh Bone.

Can I Go Now?

Okay, Honey. Go Ahead.

Thank You.

We're Sorry
We Bored You.

Well, Mom And Dad,
Now That Rudy's Gone

That Gives Us An Opportunity
To Tell You Our Great News.

Rudy, Rudy...

Go On, Elvin, Go On.

Well, We've Got Our Life
All Squared Away.

Sondra:
That's Right,
Mom And Dad.

Today We Went
To See Our Lawyer

And We Drew Up Our Will.

Do I Get

My Car Back?

No, But You May Get Something
Much More Precious.

And What's That?

In The Event
Of Our Untimely Passing

From This Earthly World

We Are Considering
Bestowing Upon You

The Honor
Of Acting As Guardians.

Of What?

Of Winnie And Nelson.

You Want Us To Be Guardians
To Your Children?

It Sounds Exciting,
But Don't Jump The g*n

Because You Guys
Are Only Finalists.

Well, What's Next,
The Swimsuit Competition?

I Know This Is Awkward

But Why Don't You
Let Us Explain

Our Process Of Selection
To You

And Then
You'll Understand It.

They're Going To Explain
Their Process Of Selection

And Then We'll Understand It.

I Can Hear!

Okay,
It's A Three-Step Process.

First, We Look
At Emotional Stability.

Financial Stability.

And Accommodations.

We Started
With Martin And Denise.

Martin Is Stable,
But Denise...

Elvin:
They Only Have

Olivia, And They've
Already Dumped Her

Off On You.

Which Means If We Gave
The Twins To Them

They'd End Up Here Anyway.

Right, So We Just
Cut Out The Middleman.

Do You Understand That, Dear?

Direct From The Factory To Us.

Then We Thought About
Vanessa And Dabnis.

But They're History.

What About Your Family?

You Still Have Some Parents,
Don't You?

Yeah, Well, You Know,
They're Retired.

They Like To Travel.

We Didn't Want To Burden Them.

Yeah, Yeah.

I Can Understand That,
'Cause I Hate To Travel

And Mrs. Huxtable
Hates To Travel

And We Don't Ever
Want To Travel.

As A Matter Of Fact,
We Just Stay Home.

We Watch The Travel Channel.

Then We Thought
Of Our Friends.

But You Know
How That Can Be.

You Like Him,
You Don't Trust Her.

You Trust Her,
You Don't Like Him.

Yeah, I Certainly Understand
That Part.

So Then, We Sat Down
And We Thought About It.

And It Dawned On Us.

Who Are Really
Our Best Friends?

I Have No Idea.

Mom, You Know.

You All Don't Get Out Much,
Do You?

I've Done Some Estate Work,
And I Would Counsel My Clients

To Choose A Guardian
Closer To Their Own Age.

Frankly, Mom And Dad,
Your Age Did Work Against You.

Good.

But If We Should Perish,
Let's Say Tomorrow

The Kids Only Need A Guardian
For Another Years

So You'll Be Done
Before You're .

We'll Be Done
Before We're .

Hot Diggity Dog.

So Now, Listen...

Just Out Of The Sake
Of Curiosity

Who Was The Competition?

Hey, Everybody.

Sorry I'm Late.

No, You're Not Late.

Nobody Invited You.

Well, Dad, Actually,
We Invited Theo.

Meet Your Competition.

Elvin, This Is Not
A Competition.

What's Not
A Competition?

Elvin And I Are Choosing
A Guardian For The Twins

And We Thought
We Would Have

An Open Family
Discussion About It.

And, Theo, You Are
One Of The Finalists.

Elvin:
Hey, You Know What?

Why Don't We Go
Into The Living Room

For A Little
Child-Rearing Q &Amp; A?

How About It?
Mom, Dad, Huh?

We'll Be Right There.

Okay, Great.

Hey, Cool.

A Little Child-Rearing Q &Amp; A?

Well, He's Lucky
I Don't Q His A.

That's A Tricky
Question, Elvin

But For The Record

A Parent Should Not Abuse
Their Authority.

However, Children Should Know
Who's In Charge.

Hmm.
Hmm.

Good.

Um... Sondra And Elvin

Your Mother And I Would Like
To Talk To You.

Oh, Sure, Dad.

We Just Want You To Think--

To Take Time Out
For A Minute And Think

And Consider Life
As A -Hour Day.

You're Born At Sunrise

And You Are Just Alert.

I Mean, Your Body Is Fit.

You Are Cooking.

And You Get To Noon,
And You Have Peaked.

You Are All The Way Up There,
Nothing Against You.

You Just Fight...
You're Full Of It.

And Your Mother And I

Are In Life
Somewhere Around : .

See...

No, Dear.

I'm At : .

Well, It Doesn't Make
Any Difference.

Whatever It Is,
It's Getting Dark.

Sondra And Elvin,
Put Those Pads Down.

Now, Look--

Your Father And I
Have Raised Theo

To The Best Of Our Abilities

And We Are Confident
That He Will Make

An Excellent Guardian
For Your Children.

Elvin:
Well...

Uncle Theo...

Congratulations.

Yeah, Thanks.

Wow, I Don't Know
What To Say.

This Is Great.

You Guys Entrusting
Winnie And Nelson To Me.

Yeah...

Well, Um, Theo...

Sondra And I Feel

That You Have The Values
And The Moral Fiber

To Carry On
The Tibideaux Torch.

Of Course,
There Are Some Formalities.

We'll Have To Disclose
All Of Our Assets To You--

Checking, Savings,
Safety Deposit, Investments.

Of Course, You'll Be
The Beneficiary.

Oh, Good.

I Mean, Well...

Bad That You're
Going To Be Dead

But Good That
I'll Have Money

To Help Raise The Kids.

So, In Terms Of Assets

How Much We Talking?

If It's Too Personal,
I Understand.

No, It's Not
Too Personal.

Assets.

(Clears Throat)

We Have The House.

Well, Technically,
The Bank Owns The House.

Other Assets.

We Have Two Cars.

One's Mom's And Dad's,
Isn't It?

We Have A Car.

And We Paid For It.

No, Honey. Actually,
We're Still Paying On The Car.

So You Have Half A Car.

Approximately, Yes.

Okay.

We Can Still
Work This Out.

Um, You Said Something

About Savings
And Investments, Right?

We Have The Twins'
Birthday Bonds From Mom And Dad.

We Also Have
The Savings Account.

Got To Stay Liquid.

How Liquid, Elvin?

Very Liquid, Theo.

It's Just Not A Lot There
To Pour.

And, Of Course,
We Have Life Insurance.

And Exactly What
Would That Cover

If You Two Pass On?

The Burial.

Once Elvin Finishes
His Residency

And I Pass The Bar
And Get A Job

Our Financial Outlook
Will Improve.

That's Right.

(Laughing)

What Happens
If You Guys Go Tomorrow?

Come On, Guys,
I'm A Student.

I'm A Grad Student.

I Can't Raise Two Kids
On Birthday Bonds.

We Can't Give
The Twins To Theo.

He Has Nothing.

He Lives In That
Crummy Apartment.

He Doesn't Even
Have A Job.

What Happened To Carrying
The Torch, And Moral Fiber?

Grow Up, Theo.

There's No Cash.

Kids Can't Eat
Moral Fiber.

We Are Too Far
In Debt To Die.

If One Of Us Survives

The Kids Will Be Taken Care Of.

We Just Have To Avoid
Dying At The Same Time.

Right. We Just Can't Be
Anywhere Together.

We'll Take
Separate Airplanes.

Separate Cars.

Separate Vacations.

Separate Rooms.

No, No, No.

Not Separate Rooms.

Some Things
Are Worth Dying For.

Okay, Guys, Guys, Guys,
Excuse Me.

So This Means
You Don't Need Me, Right?

No! No, No.

Just The Opposite.

Theo, You're Our Will To Live.

You're Going To Be
Our Guardian.

We Know You're A Student,
And Don't Have Much Money

So If Something
Does Happen To Us

And You Run Out Of Money,
Who You Going To Call?

(Knock At Door)

Who Is It?

Uh, It's Dad.

Oh, Hi.

Hey. How You Doing?

Fine.

Okay.

Well, Been A Long Time
Since I Been Up Here.

I Did A Little Redecorating.

Yeah, Yeah.

And, Uh...

Dad, Is There Something
You Wanted?

Uh, Yeah.

I Just Wanted To, Uh...

To Just, Uh, Talk
To You, I Guess.

I Just Came Up To Your Room,
You Know, Homegirl

To Have A Little
Chitchat With You.

Whoa!

That's Kind Of...

It's An Anti-Old-People
Bed, Huh?

Anyway, I Just Wanted
To Talk To You.

You Know,
Just Say A Few Things.

I Was Just Wondering

Is There A Point
In A Young Person's Life

Of, Let's Say, Age

Where The Mother And The Father
Are Just Always... Wrong?

Dad...

No, No, Help Me.

This Is What
I Want You To Help Me With.

Dad, It's Just...

Come On, Say It.

You And Mom...

Yeah, Right,
That's Who We Are.

Use Some Verbs

And Some Nouns To It,
And It Will Come Out.

Come On.

It's Everything,
It's The Whole World.

The Whole World.

The Whole World.

Whole World.

Everything's The Same.

Everything's The Same.

I Want To Change.

I Want To Do Things
The Way I Want To Do Them.

That's What
I Want To Do Too.

And You Don't Have To Eat Dinner
Here Either.

Are You Talking
About Somebody's Cooking?

I Know What Happened

With The Thing
With Danielle

But You Didn't Ask Mom
Way In Advance

If You Could Go Over.

It Was A Spur Of The Moment.

Mom Had Dinner Planned.

Why Should I Have To Be Here
For Dinner

And All The Conversation
At Dinner Is

Law Talk Or Doctor Talk,
And I Don't Understand It?

Why Can't I Be With My Friends
And Talk About What We Want?

Because Your Friends
Have Not Chipped In

And Purchased A House.

In The Past Four Years,
Had You Saved A Quarter A Day

Five Days A Week
From Your Lunch Money

Eight Of You Could Be Living
Next Door To Us

With The House Paid For.

But, No, You Chose
To Live Here.

That's My Point.

Do You Understand
What I'm Saying?

No, You Don't

Because I Have No Idea
What I'm Saying.

Now Come Over Here

'Cause This
Is Getting Silly.

It's Getting Silly.

Now Put Your Arm Around Me.

Now, Do You Know
The Word "Love"?

Yeah.

Okay, You Know
What Love Means

If Somebody Says
"I Love You," Yes?

Yes.

Okay, Do You Love Me?

Yeah.

You're Having A Problem
Saying This?

Okay, If You Love Me

Then Kiss Me On My Cheek
With Love.

Pitiful.

On A Scale To One To Ten,
That Was A Two.

I Love You.

You See?

Mm-Hmm.

Huh?

Do You Love Me?

Mm-Hmm.

(Blows Loud Raspberry)

That's A Ten.