07x07 - Florence's Cousin

[bunniefuu]

Well, we're movin' on up
Movin' on up

To the East Side
Movin' on up

To a deluxe apartment
in the sky

Movin' on up
Movin' on up

To the East Side
Movin' on up

We finally got
a piece of the pie

Fish don't fry
in the kitchen

Beans don't burn
on the grill

Took a whole lot of tryin'

Just to get up that hill

Now we're up
in the big leagues

Gettin' our turn at bat

As long as we live
it's you and me, baby

Ain't nothin' wrong
with that

Well, we're movin' on up
Movin' on up

To the East Side
Movin' on up

To a deluxe apartment
in the sky

Movin' on up
Movin' on up

To the East Side
Movin' on up

We finally got
a piece of the pie

Ugh!

Oh, what a shopping trip!

My feet are worn out.

So's my credit card.

Those look heavy. Is there
anything in there for me?
No.

Oh. Careful,
don't strain yourself.

I bought some beautiful
clothes, Florence.

And look what we picked
up at Antoine's.

Ooh, Mrs. Jefferson,
now that's got class.

Well, at least we won't have
to worry about you breaking
it while you're dusting.

Why?
'Cause you
never dust.

Oh, Florence, why are you
so dressed up?

Oh, I'm expecting company.
My cousin Ernie
is coming by.

Ernie the bum?

Mr. Jefferson,
he's not a bum.

Oh, excuse me.
I mean Ernie the thief.

George, how can you
call Ernie names like that?
We've never even met him.

Look, Mr. Jefferson,
don't spoil
this for me.

Now, I haven't seen Ernie
since he moved to the
West Coast two years ago.

Well, you sure have
heard from him a lot.

All those long-distance
phone calls collect.

And who do they
collect from? Me!

George, give
Ernie a chance.

People can
change their lives.

That's right. Ernie's
straightened himself out.

He's moving back out here
to open a record store.

Oh yeah? What's he
gonna open it up
with, a crowbar?

He's here.

Now, George, if you can't
say something nice,
don't say anything.

Oh, come on, Weez.
You know me.
Right. Don't say anything.

Ernie!
Florence!

Woo-woo! You look
like a million bucks
before taxes.

Oh, Ernie.

For you.
Thank you.

He must have passed
a cemetery on
his way up here.

Oh, Ernie, this is
Mrs. Jefferson.

Well, hello, Mrs. Jefferson.

Oh, my.

I must admit that
I didn't expect you
to be such a

young woman.

Why, thank you, Ernie.

Oh, and, uh,
this is for you.

Oh, how thoughtful.

And that's Mr. Jefferson.

Oh, a pleasure,
Mr. Jefferson.

Oh, and I
have something
for you, too.

This oughta cover
those collect phone calls
I made from California.

Look, I'm sorry
I let it go this long,
but, uh,

you know, I don't like
sending money
through the mail.

Oh, yeah, I know
what you mean.

Come on, let's sit.

Oh, Florence.

You know,
I don't even believe
I'm really here.

Boy, we got
a lot to catch up on.

Yes, we sure have.

Well, you're going to
have your chance.

George and I
were just leaving.

Weezy, I wasn't leaving.
Wait a minute, wait, wait.

A-ha.

Well.

It sure is good
to see you again.

You know, you've always
been my favorite cousin.

Really?
For sure.

Florence, you were always
there when I needed you.

Always there getting
me out of messes.

Yeah, and it was
a full time job too.

Yeah. But, you don't
have to worry about
your cousin no more.

Because you are looking
at a changed man.

For real, Ernie?
For real.

Florence,
there is a lady
in my life now.

Oh, that's wonderful.
What's her name?

Well, her name's Loretta,
and she is the
perfect woman.

Well, now that I have her,
I'm gonna stop
wasting my life.

That's why this
record store would've
been such a break for me.

Would've been?

Oh, well, I was all
set to make the
down payment, see,

when the owner raised
his asking price. So,

now I gotta kiss the
whole deal goodbye,

because I'm
a few bucks short.

Well, I've got
a little something
put away in the cookie jar.

How much do you need?

A thousand dollars.
That's a lot of
chocolate chips.

I mean, I've asked
around, but no luck.

See, I don't have any
friends here, Florence.

Oh, except for my
old crowd. But, uh,

I want to stay away
from them.

Well, good for you.

I just wish I knew
somebody that had
that kind of money.

Well, wait a minute,
now, um...

I think I might know
somebody who can help.

Mr. Jefferson?
Oh, no, Florence

I couldn't let you
ask him.

Now you can't let
an opportunity
like this slip by.

I'm gonna go ask him.

Uh, is there anything
I can do to help?

Yeah, just have me
buried in a pine box.

What are you smiling at?

Oh, I was just thinking
how lucky I am
to work here.

Ho, ho, ho, ho.

Florence, you're forgetting.
You don't work.

Oh, yeah?

Oh, Mr. Jefferson,
you little devil.
That was a good one!

Oh, coffee?

Yeah.

I'd like some too.

Okay, Florence,
you want something.
What is it?

Me? Want something?
I don't want nothing.

I have everything.

Uh-huh.
A good job,

a generous boss.

Oops, dribble dribble.

That's it.
What's going on?

Now that you mention it,
there is one itsy-bitsy
teeny-weeny little thing.

Ernie needs a
thousand dollars.

A thousand dollars!
For what? Bail?

No, he needs it to
open his record store.

Look, Florence, only
a jackass would give
your cousin that much money.

Oh, then you'll do it?

I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
I didn't mean it that way,

it's just that Ernie
deserves this chance,
Mr. Jefferson.

And I know you can
afford it.

Think of the money
Mrs. Jefferson throws
away on clothes.

Forget it, Florence.
He ain't getting a dime.

Mr. Jefferson,

Ernie's gonna make a
success out of that store,
I know it. He's changed.

He hasn't changed.
People don't change.

George, how can
you say that?

Because I happen to
be a great judge
of character.

Look, Weezy, I know people.
I've got to know people.

The clothes that
I have been cleaning
all of these years.

Who do you think
wears them?

People, that's who.

Sometimes your
logic amazes me.

Thank you.

Mr. Jefferson. Look.

I'll guarantee his loan.

And I promise,
you'll get your
money back.

George, you know
Florence wouldn't ask you

for that money if it wasn't
very important to her.

Okay, Florence.
I'll give you
the money.

Only so I can get the
satisfaction of seeing you
crawling to me and saying,

"Mr. Jefferson,
you're so smart,
you were right about Ernie."

Well, that's not
gonna happen.

But thanks for
loaning me the money.
Mmm.

And if there's ever
anything I can do
for you...

Some more coffee.
It's in the pot.

I gotta go tell Ernie.

What?

You mean to tell me he's
been out there by himself
all this time? Alone?

I knew it.
He's making long-distance
phone calls.

Hello, what
city are you in?

Oh.

Hehe. Uh...

The time is :
and seconds.

Ernie, guess what?

You've got your money!

All right!

Oh, Florence,

I don't know
what to say.

Well, that's what
families are for.

A thousand bucks, right?
Right.

Here you go, Ernie.
Just fill in your name.

Oh, thank you. I...

you know, this is the
nicest thing that anyone's
ever done for me.

Oh, really?

Mr. Jefferson,
I'll pay you back.
A hundred dollars a week.

Oh, whatever you say, Ern.

Good luck, Ernie.

Well, uh, I guess
I better go close
that deal, uh, oh, but

I'm coming back tonight
'cause I'm gonna take my
favorite cousin

to the best restaurant
in town. Hehe.

Oh, uh, I'll pick
you up at : .

Make it : .
I want to look my best.

Ha, ha. You better
make it tomorrow.
That's gonna take awhile.

I'll see you later.
Bye-bye.
Okay, : .

Well, Thanks for loaning him
the money, Mr. Jefferson.

I know he's going
to prove you wrong.

No, he ain't. Florence,
believe me,

I know a jerk when
I see one.

That's right.
He sees one every
morning when he shaves.

Oh, hi, Ralph.
Hello, Florence.

Here's the cleaning
Mr. Jefferson asked me
to drop off.

Say,

don't you look lovely!

Why, thank you.
Your hair...

Thank you.

Your earrings...
Thank you.

Your dress...

I ain't got
no change, Ralph.

Is a little loud.

But then, some women
can look good
in anything.

Thank you.

I want to look good tonight,
because my cousin Ernie
is taking me to dinner.

In Miami?

Miami?

That's where he told
his girlfriend
they were going.

Loretta?
I guess.

She was waiting for him
downstairs in the lobby

while he visited
you this afternoon.

I was, um...
I was standing behind
the potted palm

when he came downstairs
and told her they were
on easy street.

Then, Ernie said they
should go to the bank,

cash the check,
get out to the airport,

and they'd be in
Miami by : tonight.

Well, Did he say
anything else?

Yeah. He said,
"Hey, you, behind the
potted palm. Get lost."

Hi, Ralph.
Mr. Jefferson!

What's that for?
Oh, I'm sorry, sir.
Force of habit.

What's wrong with you?

Mr. Jefferson, there's
something I gotta tell you.

Look, Florence.
I know it looks good
for Ernie now.

But mark my words, sooner
or later you're gonna come
crawling to me saying,

"Mr. Jefferson you
were right about Ernie
and I was wrong"

and I'm gonna eat
it up like candy!

Okay, now, what
you've got to tell me?

Oh, um...

Uh, here's your cleaning.

Florence,
the vacuum is off.

Oh. Then
I must be finished.

Florence, don't you
think working nights

at Ernie's record
store is too
much for you?

No. It's important that
Ernie makes good

so Mr. Jefferson can
get his money back.

But you look exhausted!

Me? Exhausted?

I feel like
I just woke up.

You did.

Florence. Didn't I tell you
I like my sweaters folded,
not hung on hangers?

Yes, you did.

Then why does this one
looks like it was
made for Quasimodo?

Now, George,

she just made a mistake.

So did I, Weezy.
I hired her.

Excuse me, will you.
I have to go in the back

and bang out the humps
in my sweater.

Uh-oh, I'm late.

You're not going to work
again tonight, are you?

I've gotta.

But what about dinner?

Oh, don't worry.
I'll pick up a hot dog.

I meant our dinner.

Oh! There's a roast
in the oven for you
and Mr. Jefferson.

Uh, wait a minute, Florence.

I can't, I'm late.
What's this?

Um, uh,
that's a new dress
I bought to attract men.

But it looks like a
waitress dress.

Well, I'm waitin'
for a man, ain't I?

"Welcome to
Lou's Weenie World?"

I gotta go, Mrs. Jefferson.
Oh, uh, no, you're not.

Not until you
tell me what's going on.

I can't.

Oh, yes, you can.
We trusted you
with the money.

Now I want you to
trust me with the truth.

Okay, but you gotta
promise not to
tell Mr. Jefferson.

Why?

Because the only thing
worse than me
being wrong

is Mr. Jefferson
being right.

Okay, I promise
I won't tell George.

Well, okay.

Ernie took
Mr. Jefferson's money
and ran off to Miami.

Miami?

What about
the record store?
There ain't no record store.

I've been working
nights as a waitress
to pay Mr. Jefferson back.

Oh, Florence.

Listen, go to George and
tell him what happened.

He can be a very
understanding man.

Sometimes.

No, Mrs. Jefferson,
this is my problem
and I'll solve it my way.

But, Florence...

And remember,
you promised not
to tell.

I've had it with Florence,
Weezy. I've had it.

Look, the next time she messes
up she's fired!

Oh, now, calm down.
What's the problem?

Look! My white underwear.
They're pink.

Well, Florence probably
washed them with
your red sweatshirt.

Well, Weezy, suppose
I get into an accident?

Then I gotta go
to the hospital
in pink underwear.

That woman lives
to t*rture me, Weez.
She lives to t*rture me!

All right, George. Easy now.

Florence left a roast
in the oven.

You'll feel a lot better
after you've eaten.

Feel better? Weez,
I got a whole dresser
full of hot pink underwear.

Alright. We'll just
buy you some socks
to match.

This ain't Fantasyland.

If Florence screws up
one more time, she's had it.
I'm firing her.

George, Florence
is under a lot
of pressure.

But she still found time

to cook you
this delicious...

Roast.

That's it. She's gone.
But...

Gone, Weezy, gone!
Fired, canned, axed,

the ole heave-ho,
strike three, out!

But, George,
you can't fire Florence.
I don't wanna hear this.

She's been with
us for six years!

Six years
of pure hell, Weez!

She was lousy when she
came, and she's been
going downhill ever since.

But George...
Uh-uh. No.
It's over. It's out.

Sayonara City, baby.
She's gone!

George, you don't understand.

Look, let's go out to eat.

She's gone, Weez.

Come on. I heard
about this new
little restaurant.

It might be just
what you need.

The woman is history.

Hey, where's my food?

Oh, it'll be ready in
just a few minutes.

Use the time
to make out your will.

Florence, get those
people some water!

Uh, yes, sir.
Right away.

While you're at it,
bring me a cup of coffee.

Yes, sir.

Hey, lady, these eggs
are sunny-side up.
I ordered them over-easy.

Yes, sir.

Thanks a lot.
Don't mention it.

Here, pass this
to the gentleman
behind you.

And ask him
to pass these to
the men over there.

You want to eat here?

What's wrong with it?

It looks like a place
that old flies
come to die.

Welcome to
Lou's Weenie World.

I'm Lou, your host.

I'm George and I'm leaving.

A booth for two, please.
Right this way.

Looks like you do quite
a business.

Well, I always say,
"you roast a better weenie

"and the world'll
beat a path to your door."

Yeah, we'll beat a path
to this door.

George! Sit down.
Sit!

Uh, look, I don't
wanna rush you.

Why don't you take
your time and
peruse the cuisine?

Get outta here.

Enjoy your dinner.

Florence, we got
people at table two.

Hustle your butt over there.
Yes, sir.

Do you mind if I take
a short break first? A
couple of hours'll be plenty.

You take a break and
it'll be permanent.

Now get movin'!
Yes, sir.

Yes, sir, what will it be?

I don't know.
I haven't decided.

Well, let's see...
I like Italian food.

Maybe I'll try this
Zucchini-Weenie.

We're out of that.

Oh.

Well, I ain't too
hungry, anyway.

So I'll try this Teeny-Weenie.
I'm sorry, but we're
out of that, too.

Well, then, I'll...

As a matter of fact,
we're out of everything!

Here's your check.

Pay on your way out.

Hey, wait a minute.

Hey!

Florence!

Mrs. Jefferson,
you promised not to
tell him.

I didn't tell him,
Florence.

But I think it's
about time you did.

Nobody ain't gotta
tell me nothing.
I got eyes.

You're moonlighting
when you should be home

earning the money
I pay you.

Okay, this is
the last draw.
Florence, you are fired.

Florence,
tell him, please.

Um...

Ernie ran off with
your money

and I'm working here nights
to pay you back.

See, I told you.
A leopard never
changes his spots.

That's not true, George.

Just because Ernie let
Florence down doesn't
mean everyone will.

Some people
deserve a second chance.

Yeah, well I wish I
could get a second
chance on my thousand bucks.

Look, Mr. Jefferson,
you trusted me

and, and you'll get
your money back.

I don't blame you
for firing me. I would
have done the same thing.

So, I'll have my stuff
out of your apartment
tomorrow morning.

Hey, Florence.

The menu says we offer,

"Superlative cuisine

"prepared and served
in an elegant manner."

So get your can in gear
and start slinging
some weenies.

Hey, wait a minute...
You stay out of this!

Listen, buddy.
You are the worst excuse

for a waitress
I ever had.

Look, you...
Butt out, shorty!

Shorty? Look, first of all,

I don't want nobody
yelling at this
woman in my presence.

And she doesn't have
to work for no loudmouth
who don't appreciate her.

She works for me!

I do? But I thought
you fired me.

Yeah, you ain't
getting off that easy.

Here, go sling your
own weenies.

I left law school
for this?

But, Mr. Jefferson, without
this job, how am I going
to pay you back?

Well, Florence.
Just say those words
I want to hear.

Okay. I admit it.

You're a better judge
of character than I am.

And I was wrong
and you were right.
What?

I can't hear you.

I was wrong
and you were right!

We're even! Ha!

Welcome back, Florence!

Wait! Hold it,
hold it, hold it.

Let's get one thing
straight. Now, you're
coming back to work, right?

Things are gonna be
different, right?
Yes, sir.

No more pink
underwear? Right?
No, sir.

No more humps in my
sweater, right?

No, sir.

And the first thing
you're gonna do

when we get home
tonight is clean
that oven, right?

No sir!
What?

Look, I'm bushed!
I've been on my
feet all day!

I don't care where
you're feet have been
all day, you better clean up.

That oven ain't
going nowhere...

Florence, look...

Weezy, will you tell her
to clean the oven?