06x21 - A Romantic Getaway and a Germanic Meat-Based Diet

[bunniefuu]

Previously on Young Sheldon...

I reached out to a colleague who's doing

a summer research program
at the University of Heidelberg,

and I think I can get you in.

Fantastisch.
That's German for fantastic.

This is my niece Tonya.

She's staying with us.

- Hey, Missy.
- Tonya.

(QUIETLY): What are you doing?

- Sneaking out.
- So, what's the plan?

I got half a pack of cigarettes
and a bottle of cooking sherry.

Let me get dressed.

This will allow us to calculate
the speed of sound in the liquid

using the standard elements of
the Einstein field equations.

The answer is only correct, of course,

if the density changes slowly.

And to begin, we use
the standard equations

of thermal physics
to simplify the answer...

(SNIFFING)

Wh-Wha-What am I smelling?

Oh, that might be
my sauerkraut and knockwurst.

It is.

Why are you eating sauerkraut
in my classroom?

I'm acclimating my body to
a Germanic meat-based diet.

At : a.m.?

It's dinnertime in Heidelberg.

We're not in Heidelberg.

But I will be over the summer,

so I'm trying to adjust

my internal clock to the local time

so I can hit the ground
running mitout jet lag.

I got to get back to my lecture,

if that doesn't
interfere with your meal.

Oh, dinner and a show, I love it.

Although... would you be a lamb

and open this jar of mustard for me?

Here are two words
you don't often hear...

poor Germany.

♪ ♪

♪ Nobody else is stronger than I am ♪

♪ Yesterday I moved a mountain ♪

♪ I bet I could be your hero ♪

♪ I am a mighty little man ♪

♪ I am a mighty little man. ♪

♪ ♪

- Hey.
- MARY: Oh, good.

Can you do me a favor
and run to the grocery store?

There's a list there on the island.

- Nice to see you, too.
- (SIGHS)

I'm sorry, I have to get
passports for Shelly and me,

I've got to make sure that
the house is stocked,

and now that he's read
about deep-vein thrombosis,

I have to find compression
socks for the flight.

"Chicken boo-eh-lon"?
What does that even mean?

Bouillon.

It's the tiny cubes that turn into soup.

So, the soup aisle?

There you go.

And you also need to
go to the drugstore.

- For what?
- Missy needs... some items.

They're on the back of the list.

(SIGHS)

You know, you seem pretty stressed out

Maybe it'd be easier if I go to Germany.

You got to be kidding.

Well, it might make more sense.

I got the summer off...

And, come on, beer and sausage?

I've been training
for that my whole life.

Uh...

Well, I guess that's a possibility.

- It's just a thought.
- Mm-hmm.

I'll run to the grocery store,
we can talk about this later.

If you're going to the grocery store,

you should get more tinfoil.

(SIGHS) You're not making
a hat, are you?

No. I need it to black out my windows.

It's : p.m. in Heidelberg.

Gute Nacht.

(CLUCKS TONGUE)

(EXHALES)

Tinfoil.

(SIZZLING)

- Hey, thanks for watching her.
- No problem.

She's my little Hamburger Helper helper.

Ain't that right?

Hey, um, you got anything
going on this weekend?

Uh, not much. Why?

Well, at the baby shower,
I got a spa trip

and I was thinking about using it.

I can watch CeeCee.

No, it's for two people.

I thought maybe you and I could go.

- Like together?
- Yeah.

You deserve a break as much as I do.

Oh, uh...

Sure, maybe.

Okay, you don't seem very excited.

Well, what do guys do at spas?

The same thing that women do at spas.

What do women do at spas?

I don't know, spa stuff. Let's find out.

Oh, what about the baby?

It's just one night,
Connie can watch her.

Okay, fine, if she says yes, then sure.

Great. Oh!

We can go to bed early, we can nap...

(GASPS) we can sleep in.

Mm, exciting.

Tell me about it.

(WHOOPS SOFTLY)

So, Missy, how was your day?

Sheldon's not here...

let's just enjoy the silence.

- Mm, it is nice, isn't it? (CHUCKLES)
- No.

And if you think it's so nice,

why do you want to spend
two months with him in Germany?

I thought Mom was going.

We're exploring our options.

Well, I've been thinking about it.

You've traveled the world.

I've never left the country.

The Army isn't "traveling the world".

More than I've done.

- Do I get a vote?
- No.

Wait, what's your vote?

- Mom goes.
- You don't get a vote.

And... you got to visit
Caltech with him.

Seeing a college campus ain't
two months in Europe.

I wouldn't know, would I?

Mary, I've worked my ass off
for years,

I deserve this.

Right, because what I do is worthless.

(SIGHS)

Will you keep it down?

It's the middle of the night in here.

♪ ♪

Fighting over two months of that?

Okay...

MEEMAW: Hey.

I hear you and Mandy are
going away for the weekend.

Yeah, if you don't mind
watching the baby.

I don't mind.

You sure?

You ain't ever watched her
overnight before.

It's fine, we both wake up a lot to pee.

Well, if you change your mind,
I don't have to go.

Do you not want to go?

No, I do.

Is this 'cause it's a spa
and you're worried about

getting a massage from a guy?

Well, I wasn't. But that ain't helping.

(CHUCKLING) What's going on?

Well, we've just never been
away from the baby

this long before and...

And... ?

Me and Mandy have never been
away alone together.

You worried you're gonna
blow it with her?

No.

Quit making me worry about new things!

♪ ♪

ADULT SHELDON: It may have
been midnight in Medford,

but it was morning in Heidelberg...

the perfect time to enjoy
a hearty breakfast

of leberwurst on pumpernickel.

(CRUNCHING)

How do you say blech in German?

ADULT SHELDON:
I'll save you from googling.

It's eklig. You're welcome.

- Where were you?
- (GASPS)

Why are you up? Go back to bed.

I was enjoying a revolting
German breakfast.

What's your excuse?

It's none of your business.

As your brother,
your safety is my business.

I met my friend Tonya,
it's not a big deal.

You smell like cigarettes.

No, I don't.

Perhaps a second opinion, I'll get Mom.

Sheldon, stop and think.

If I get in trouble,

neither Mom or Dad is
gonna want to leave me

and go to Germany.

And if they don't go, you don't go.

But I have to go.

Then you need to forget this happened.

I can't forget this happened...
I remember everything.

Then when you're old and
not a famous scientist,

you'll remember this is
the moment you blew it.

♪ ♪

Well? What's it gonna be?

I'm going to brush
the liver out of my teeth

and mull this over.

ADULT SHELDON: I was presented
with a moral dilemma.

(GROANS)

Cover for Missy and protect my trip,

or sing like a canary and
spend a muggy summer in Texas

with my clean conscience.

Sheldon, everything okay?

Yeah, Sheldon, is everything okay?

Everything is okay.

What was that about?

I don't know. I just woke up.

(YAWNS)

(SIGHS)

So, George really wants to
go to Germany?

Yeah, he thinks it'll be a vacation.

Because the two things
that Sheldon loves are

change and new people.

- Thank you.
- So, which one of you is gonna go?

(SIGHS) We're still discussing it.

- So, you?
- Mm-hmm.

- Hi.
- MEEMAW: Hey.

- Did y'all get her down?
- MANDY: Yeah.

Finally. We're gonna head out
before she wakes up.

I am so glad you two are spending

some quality time together.

- Mom.
- No, she's right, I mean, we earned it.

I don't love that you're gonna
share a hotel room, but...

- Mom.
- Well, you're not married.

- Mom.
- Stop.

I'm done.

She's not. Run.

- See ya.
- Bye.

Well, you know you weren't.

(DOOR CLOSES)

- (TV PLAYING INDISTINCTLY)
- MISSY: Okay.

According to this quiz,
your TV boyfriend is...

Bart Simpson.

He's not even real.

That doesn't matter.

I still think about marrying Alf.

(BOTH CHUCKLING)

ADULT SHELDON: Look at them over there.

They got away with one transgression,

and now they were clearly
plotting their next.

All right, we got away
with sneaking out.

What should we do now?

I say we rob the mall.

You read my mind.

We hit the shoe store first

and then the makeup store.

Smart.

Those are the things we girls like.

(OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYING)

GEORGE SR.: You okay?

Huh? What?

You look a little distracted.

No, what would I be distracted about?

Eh, you got Germany coming up.

Makes sense to be a little nervous.

- That does make sense.
- Yeah.

Remember how scared you got
when we flew to Pasadena?

(CHUCKLES SOFTLY) But we got through it.

Together.

We did.

Germany's way further than that.

Your mom's never been on
a flight that long before.

I have.

When I was in the Army.

Fighting for our country.

Weren't you in the motor pool?

I'm just saying,
if your mom gets nervous,

you might be the one calming her down.

But that's what she does for me.

Well, I'm sure she'll do her best.

But if she can't, there's
lots of strangers on the plane.

You can hold one of their hands.

- (MUMBLES)
- Hey.

Hey, thanks for coming.

Ah, I'm not gonna pass on a free lunch.

I'm no dummy. What you making?

Chicken salad.

(SNIFFS)

Is it supposed to smell like that?

What?

Oh, it's the baby.

Uh, yeah, and people keep having them.

I don't get it.

Could you change her
and let me finish up here?

How do you mean?

I mean, like, go get
a new diaper and put it on her.

Oh.

No, thanks.

Don't you be a baby. Go and change her.

The first diaper I change
is gonna be my own.

You've never changed a diaper?

Not a one.

You have kids. And grandkids.

How did you get away with
never changing a diaper?

Mm. It wasn't easy.

When there's something important to you,

you find a way.

Maybe we can do a sleepover
at your place.

- Why can't we do it here?
- (KNOCK AT DOOR)

SHELDON: Missy.

(QUIETLY): That's why.

Go away.

SHELDON: Why? What secret plot
are you hatching now?

What's wrong with him?

Literally, everything.

- (KNOCKS ON DOOR)
- SHELDON: Missy.

- Is he gonna rat us out?
- No.

He's really smart but also
really dumb. Watch.

Come in, Sheldon.

- What?
- I've been reading up on German history

and I've realized that appeasement

in the face of rule-breaking is
a slippery slope.

Let's say that sneaking out was

your "occupying the Sudetenland".

What's your "invasion of Poland"
going to be?

I see it.

(SCOFFS) What are you talking about?

If I can't tell Mom and Dad on you,

then I need you to promise
you won't break

any more rules while I'm away.

Fine, I promise. Now get out.

Excellent.

Wait, how do I know you meant that?

Maybe she should promise
she was telling the truth.

I like that.

I promise I was telling the truth.

♪ ♪

Wait, if you were lying
about the first promise,

how do I know you weren't
lying about the second promise?

I promise I wasn't.

(GROANS)

- (DOOR CLOSES)
- I think you broke him.

No, he'll be back.

SHELDON: I will.

(SIGHS)

(LOCK BEEPS)

(GASPS) Wow.

- Look at this.
- GEORGE JR.: Uh-huh.

- Nice.
- Oh, come on.

You live in a garage.

This is the nicest room
you've ever seen in your life.

I said it was nice.

Oh, my God.

You have to feel this bed.
I may never leave.

Yeah, that's something.

- Soft.
- Okay.

What is going on?
Do you not want to be here?

What? I'm here.

Are you that worried about the massage?

You know, you don't have to get one.

It ain't the massage.

Well, it's a little the massage.

They ain't gonna touch
my butt, are they?

Oh, yes. I ordered
the couples' butt massage.

I paid extra for it.

- Really?
- No, dummy.

Oh, forget it.

I thought this is what you wanted...

us together.

I did.

You did. What changed?

It's just different now.

What's "different" about it?

(KNOCK AT DOOR)

(DOOR OPENS)

Hi. I have you booked for
an in-room couples' massage.

Now's not a good time.

Screw you. I'm getting a massage.

Fine. But I'm keeping my jeans on.

Great.

- Hey.
- Hey.

Look, I've been thinking...

we've been making this trip about us,

and it should really be about Sheldon.

I agree.

So... maybe he should have
some say in who goes with him.

Why? What've you been telling him?

- (SNORTS) Nothing.
- George.

(SIGHS)

He might've mentioned he was
nervous about the flight,

and how great I handled it when
we flew to California, so...

Did he mention it or did you mention it?

It's tough to say, really.

You are unbelievable.

Sheldon, what has your
father been telling you

- about Germany?
- What?

Come on, Mary,

don't try to confuse the kid.

I'm confused.

It's his choice.

What's my choice?

Who you want to go to Germany with you.

I can't believe you're
putting him in the middle.

I'm not putting him in the middle,

I'm treating him like the
responsible adult that he is.

Missy's been sneaking out
of the house at night

and I'm worried
she's going to rob a mall.

I also think she's smoking. (EXHALES)

♪ ♪

- Sneaking out of the house? Where did you go?
- Nowhere.

What were you doing?

Nothing.

Well, you went somewhere
and did something.

Tonya, do you have anything to say?

- No.
- Why do you believe Sheldon and not me?

Because he's a Goody Two-shoes
and you stole my truck!

Fine.

We snuck out, but we just walked around.

Sheldon said you were smoking.

And we learned it's a disgusting habit.

I know I learned my lesson.

That's enough.

- (KNOCK AT DOOR)
- Come in.

Mary, George, thank you for the call.

Tonya, apologize to the Coopers.

Sorry.

Oh, you're gonna be.

Our trip to the Noah's Ark
petting zoo, that's off.

I'm too old for that anyway.

Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't
realize was too old

to pet two of many kinds of animals.

Come on.

Your parents are getting a phone call.

Great, maybe they'll send me to
live with my fun uncle.

Jerry is not fun, and he's in rehab.

(MARY SIGHS)

I hope you don't have
any plans for the summer,

because you're not leaving the house.

That's like three months.

Oh, you want to make it Christmas?

(SCOFFS) Whatever.

There's nothing to do
in this stupid town anyway.

(SLAMS DOOR)

Any chance we can both go to Germany?

(SIGHS)

Oh, you are holding
a lot of tension in here.

Huh, I wonder why.

GEORGE JR.: Do I feel tense?
Oh, I bet I feel tense.

You are a little tense.

Huh, I wonder why.

GLORIA: Have you been
drinking enough water?

Because often when...

- No, that ain't it.
- (SCOFFS) No.

It's my fault, for inviting him
on a romantic getaway.

- It is your fault.
- Oh, one sec...

(GROANING) Really get in there.

Oh... yeah.

(GRUNTS) Okay, where was I?

This is what you do...
you act all into me,

then you get weird and push me away.

Okay, that's not true.

Yes, it is. You sleep with me,

then you tell me to date other people.

I ask you to marry me, you say no.

Why is this time gonna be any different?

I-I don't know. Maybe I'm ready now.

"Maybe"?

Yeah.

(SIGHS) Look.

We're gettin' along, we're
a good team with CeeCee...

Maybe I don't want to
risk that on a maybe.

Okay, if you don't want to try,
why did you even come here?

Well, I didn't want to say no
and make things weird.

Oh, well, you nailed it.

(GRUNTS)

(KNOCK AT DOOR)

- Missy?
- MISSY: Go away.

I know you're angry

but I was genuinely worried about you.

I realize we have
our differences, but...

I would never be able to forgive myself

if anything bad happened to you.

I hate you.

♪ ♪

(TV PLAYING INDISTINCTLY)

I'm gonna give CeeCee a bath.

- Do you want to help?
- Nah, I'm good.

Let me guess...

you've never given a baby a bath either.

It was a different time.

You gonna tell me
your husband did all that stuff?

Not really.

Eh, you see? Look, you got a type.

Well, it's not the ' s anymore.

I'm gonna give her a bath
and you're gonna help.

Fine.

And afterward, you're gonna
change her diaper.

Ah, man, I miss the ' s.

- What was that?
- Nothing, I'm coming.

Whoa, take it easy,

that towel didn't
sneak out of the house.

How can you make a joke?

(SIGHS) Sorry.

I don't know what else to do.

We were both here and she snuck out.

What's gonna stop her from running wild

if it's just one of us?

Oh, so you're saying neither
of us should go to Germany?

(EXHALES) I don't know.

I don't want to punish Sheldon,
but I'm worried about Missy.

I am, too.

(MARY SIGHS)

But I think you should go.

- You do?
- I got the summer off.

My full-time job can be
keeping her in line.

You sure you're up for that?

Mary, I'm a football coach.

I can handle a -year-old girl.

ADULT SHELDON: Missy snuck out
times that summer,

and got her belly button pierced.

The poor guy had no idea.

♪ If I hadn't blown
the whole thing years ago ♪

♪ I might not be alone ♪

♪ Tomorrow we can drive
around this town ♪

- (SIGHS)
- (TURNS RADIO OFF)

All right, let's get married.

What?

You think I'm not all in, but I am.

Okay. I am, too.

Okay.

So, we're really doing this?

Yeah.

What are you doing?

I ain't waiting to get home to kiss you.

(LAUGHS)