08x06 - Florence Did It Different: Part 1

[bunniefuu]

To a deluxe apartment
in the sky

We finally got
a piece of the pie

Fish don't fry
in the kitchen

Beans don't burn
on the grill

Took a whole
lot of tryin'

Now we're up
in the big leagues

As long as we live
it's you and me, baby

Ain't nothin' wrong
with that

To a deluxe apartment
in the sky

We finally got
a piece of the pie

WOMAN: These eggs are fine!

GEORGE: Look, I asked you
for three minute eggs,

these are two minute
and second eggs.

GEORGE: Well,
I don't care what you...

Quiet!

Will you two
stop arguing?

I've got
a splitting headache.

GEORGE: I ain't
eating these eggs.

These ain't the way
Florence used to
cook 'em.

WOMAN: Well,
I am not Florence.

GEORGE:
You sure as hell ain't.

WOMAN: That's right!
I'm Carmen.

Carmen!

Quiet!

Hey, Weezy,
take a look at these eggs.

If you had one thing
to say about 'em,
what would It be?

I'm glad their mother's
not here to see them.

No, no, no. I mean
they're undercooked!

Look, I asked for
three minute eggs.

If these were
any more raw

they'd be
scratchin' for worms.

Mrs. Jefferson,
this is the third time
this morning

your husband made me
cook his eggs.

Each time he said
three minutes

and each time I cooked them
three minutes.

But you're not in
Puerto Rico anymore.

I meant three minutes
American time!

Oh, you...

George! George!

Don't you think
you're getting
a little carried away?

They taste fine to me.

Look that ain't the way
Florence used to cook 'em.

Oh, here is
Florence again.

All the time it's Florence.

That's right.
Florence worked here
for six whole years

and not once did I
ever have to yell at her.

Well, maybe a 'couple times.

But at least she knew
how to cook
three minute eggs.

George, these eggs
don't taste any different.

Here, try them again.
Ahhh!

I'm going down
to Charlie's Bar.

And this place
better be clean
when I get back here.

What do you mean?
I cleaned it last night.

Then you must've
cleaned it wrong.

See?

See, what?

Florence never dusted
on weekends.

Those are the straws
that broke
the camel's hump.

Mrs. Jefferson, I quit.

Oh, Carmen, wait a minute.

George didn't mean
what he said. Trust me.

He never means what he says.

But why doesn't
he like me?

Well...

Oh, he's all the time
comparing me to this Florence.

I don't wash like Florence,

I don't iron like Florence.

Yesterday, I went
to bed early, he said,

"You don't even
goof off like Florence."

That's just George's
way of saying
he misses her.

You see, she took a job
at the St. Frederick Hotel,

and so he doesn't have
anyone to pick on anymore.

Well, he's doing
a swell job on me.

You know, Mr. Jefferson
makes her sound like
Supermaid or something.

Well, Carmen, I must admit,
you do have a tough act
to follow.

Was she really that good?

Well, let's say
she was different.

I could tell
that the first time
she walked in the door.

Mrs. Jefferson,
I'm Florence Johnston.

The agency sent me.

Oh yes, come in,
this is my husband.

How do you do?

: on the dot,
Louise.

Oh, I believe in
being prompt,
Mr. Jefferson.

I always say I ain't got
no right to waste time

when other people is
paying for it.

I hear you,
she's got the job.

Of course, it wasn't
long before Florence

found out that
working for George

wasn't exactly
going to be
a bed of roses.

It was more like
a bed of crabgrass.

George, Florence is under
a lot of pressure,

but she still found time

to cook you
this delicious...

...roast.

That's it, she's gone.
But, George...

Gone Weezy, gone,
fired, canned, axed,

the old hee-hoe,
strike three!

Look George,
you can't fire Florence.

She's been with us
for six years.

Six years
of pure hell, Weez.

She was lousy
when she came

and it's been going
downhill ever since.

But George...
Uh-uh. No, it's over.
She's out.

Sayonara, city baby.
She's gone.

Now I can't say that
George was always to blame.

I mean, sometimes
Florence did have an
unusual attitude toward work.

Hello, Florence.

Hello, Mrs. Jefferson.

They're in the bedroom.

Would you tell them
I'm here, please?

She's here!

Some for my mammy,
some for my pappy,

a little bit more
and we'll all be happy.

Excuse me, Ms. Jefferson,
but there's something
very important

I got to ask you
about my work.

Oh, sure.

What is it, Florence?
What days am I getting off?

Is that all you
got in your mind?
Days off?

No, I'd like to
talk about my money.

Florence,
you better get back
into the kitchen.

And stay there!

Give her a chance, George.

Hold it Weezy,
give the maid
a chance like you said.

Florence answer the door.

Oh, no! You ain't
catching me like that.

You told me to stay in here!

Florence, you haven't
finished your work.

Ms. Jefferson,
if you had a choice

between work and taking
a walk in the park,
what would you do?

I'd stay
and finish the work.

Thank you.
While you doing that,
I'll be in the park.

You can use some help
at the Center, can't you?
Of course.

Good, I'll only be
a minute.

Hey, that's great,
everybody's going
to the Help Center.

Center this, Center that.

What about me,
what am I supposed
to do?

Well you could
clean up a little,

I hate coming home
to a messy house.

Did you drink my beer?

Oh, was that yours?
I poured that out.

You what?
That was good beer!

Sure was.
I poured it into me!

Mr. Claymore you got yourself
an executive housekeeper.

Well, all right,

this calls
for a celebration.

Florence, pour us
some champagne.

Pour it yourself.
I don't work here
no more.

Well, I'm through
with the dishes.

So if you don't want
nothing else, I think
I'm gonna take a nap.

Well, what about that?

Do you want to get the door?

Let me put it like this...

Ah, so that's what
I'm doing wrong.

I am working!

No, no. You see,

Florence worked too,
occasionally.

But, she got to be
like one of the family,

so she managed
to get away with
a lot of things

that another maid
wouldn't even try.

Okay, Florence.
You want something,
what is it?

Me? Want something?

I don't want nothing.

I have everything.

A good job.

A generous boss.

Oops! Dribble, dribble.

That's it!
What's going on?

Now that you mention it,
there is one itsy, bitsy,
teeny, weeny little thing.

Ernie needs $ .

A thousand dollar?
For what, bail?

No, he needs it
to open his record store.

Look, Florence,
only a jackass

would give your cousin
that kind of money.

Oh, then you'll do it?

Didn't I tell you I like
my sweaters folded
not hung on hangers?

Yes, you did.

Then why does this one
look like it was made
for Quasimoto?

Y'all awake yet?

We are now!

If you sleep I'll go away.

Oh, we're awake.
We're awake.

Good. Breakfast time.

Oh, isn't this nice, George.

Breakfast in bed.

Yeah, it's kinda classy.

There you are,
eggs benedict.

Great.

Oh, I can't eat all this.

I'll just have
toast and coffee.

Well, ain't no sense
in letting them eggs
go to waste.

Scooch over,
Ms. Jefferson.

Pass me the salt, honey.

Mmm-mmm!
Ain't this nice?

But that's what
I don't understand.

How could Mr. Jefferson
let Florence get away
with all those things

and then yell at me
for nothing?

Well, maybe one reason is
because they knew they could
count on each other.

Ah! Well, that's different.

Now I'm confused.

What I meant was
no matter how much at odds
George and Florence were,

or how outlandish the scheme,

somehow George could always
talk Florence into
helping him out of it.

Oh, Florence, look.
Whenever Promeroy is around,

I want to make sure that
you let him know that
you are a good American.

I could be
a real good American,

if I had a real good reason.

Okay, will bucks do it?

You just bought yourself
a good American.

Want to try for a great one?

Bye.

Am I hearing this right,
you want me to insult you?

Yeah,
I'll give you bucks
if you do a good job.

Twenty bucks?
Right.

Look, Mr. Jefferson.
Keep your bucks,
this one's on me.

Florence, you really don't
want to go, do you?

Yep.

Hey Florence, I need you.

Please, I'm begging you.
Just stay tonight.

Forget it.
Look, I'll hire you back.

One night, $ .

Oh, Mr. Jefferson, please.
A hundred and fifty.

You think money can
buy anything, don't you?

Okay, look,
you stay tonight.

Take care of my guest
I'll give you $ .

What time do you want
to serve?

Do you understand now?

Yes.
Good.

Prom now on
I'll be nice
to Mr. Jefferson.

Bad.

Bad? But she was
nice to him.

Yes, but only when
he was nice to her.

And believe me,
it didn't happen
that often.

Well, how did
she handle him
the rest of the time?

Well now,
you're talking about
the essence of Florence.

Because if there was
any one thing that
made her so special,

it was the way
she handled George.

She was,
to put it mildly,
incredible.

I wonder what
my old high school
friends are doing?

Well, if they're like you
they probably
still in high school.

Well, that's a lot better
than your friends.

What friends?
I rest my case.

Well, Florence
what delicious
masterpiece

have you prepared
for us this time?

Well for you my queen,

I have garden fresh
vegetables, pheasant

and your very favorite,
imported wine.

Hey, well, all right!

Uh-uh.

I said for my queen.

You got pantyhose on
under that robe
or something?

George, the dinner
was delicious.

Look, Weezy, you don't
have to defend her.

I ate it, didn't I?

She got her revenge.

Revenge, I don't need
no revenge.

Vengeance is mine
said the Lord.

And he done took
enough revenge

on your scranny little
body all ready.

I'm shadow boxing.

Well give me five bucks
on the shadow.

Tomorrow is the anniversary
of our first date

and you know Weezy paid
for that date.

And she been paying for it
ever since.

I am a living example
of what America is today.

You sure are child.

Your hair's in recession
and your mouth is inflated.

Child, Mr. Jefferson
is so ugly that when he
used to work in a bakery,

they used to dip his face
in the batter to make
the animal cookies.

We don't let nobody get
the best of us.

If somebody sounds on you,
you sound back on their
one better.

We think on our feet.

Here, look,
I'll show you
what I mean.

Florence!

Your cooking
taste like dog food.

That's cause I'm cooking
for a Chihuahua.

Mrs. Jefferson,
didn't it make you angry

when Florence insulted
Mr. Jefferson like that?

Sometimes,
but most of the time
George deserved it.

Deserved it?

There was a time or two
when he'd even ask for it.

I just paid you
a full week's salary.

I know, I blew it all
in a pay toilet.

Well Ms. Jefferson,
I just wanted to remind you

that my gospel singing group
is coming over to practice.

Over my dead body.

I hope they get here soon.

Creep!
Ahhh!

You sure
you can't see nothing?

Nothing!

Florence, what are we
having for lunch?

I don't know about you,
but I'm having
split pea soup.

Looks kind of thin,
what happen to the peas?

I don't know,
maybe they split.

Good evening,
Master Jefferson, sir.

What are you wearing?

Why this is my new
maidin' uniform.

I's bought it today, sir.

Why are we having
pancakes for dinner?

Ooh, that's funny.

You the funniest man,
Mr. Jefferson.

Ain't he funny,
Ms. Jefferson?

If he were any funnier,
they'd put him away.

Um-um.

You give me them shoes,
Master Jefferson.

For what?
They need shining.

Look, Florence...

Now, just let me help you
take them off.

Look, Florence,
you don't have to do that.

Oh, I don't mind.
Just lift your little foot.

Look, you ain't supposed to
be shining nobody's shoes.

Why don't you think
I can do a good job?

Well sure you could.

Well then, just let me
help you take them off.

Florence, would you
get off my shoes!

Oh, mercy me,
I done made you mad.

You disappointed in me?

No, I'm not.

I'm sorry, boss,
I'm sorry.

Stop it, Florence!

I'll get it, I'll get it.

Just stop it, Florence!

I's done wrong,
I was an untidy maid,

but you then
showed me the light.

Will you cut it out,
Florence?
Stop it, stop it!

Say please.

Y'know, I'm beginning to
like this Florence.

After six years,
so was George!

He'd never admit it,
but he enjoyed having her
around as much as I did.

We got us a maid Weezy,
we got us a maid.

We got us
the nosiest maid...

Listen, Mr. Jefferson,
let me tell you
a thing or two.

Now you got yourself a maid,
but I ain't that kinda maid.

Ahhh!

My boxing shorts got a name.
I ain't seen these in years.

What's that?

Oh, that's my cup.

Your cup?

How the heck do you
drink out of that?

How many of them drinks
have you had?

Come and sit
next to me, Florence.

Uh-oh, too many.

Will you come here
and sit down. I want
to ask you something.

Can't you ask me
standing up?

No, it's a sitting question,
now sit!

Thank you for being my,
my number one fan.

Ciao, bella.

You folks mind
if I ask you something?

No, go right ahead.

You live in this
apartment, right?
Uh-uh.

And you got a apartment
in this building, too.

Yes, that's right.

Well, how come
we overcame
and nobody told me?

Okay. All that,
I understand now.

But, the way Mr. Jefferson
talks about her,

you'd think they were
the closest of friends.

Oh, they were!

She'd have to like him
to get him out of

some of the predicaments
he'd get into.

I remember one time
in particular.

She really helped
save his neck.

You see, George had bought
some used vans.

Remember that flood
they had in
Mississippi last spring?

Well them vans you bought
couldn't swim.

You tryin' to sell me
damaged vans, Owens?

There's nothing wrong
with the vans.

You saw them yourself.

Did you check
the ash trays for mud?

I was wonderin'
why you lettin'
them go so cheap.

Owens, you're a crook.
Now, now, wait a minute.

Are you gonna
listen to her?
She's drunk.

Not drunk, just nosey.

I heard this crook's
tryin' to rip you off.

You tryin' to rip me off
and get away with it, Owens?
Get outta here!

All right,
now just a minute, buster.

We got a deal
and you're going
to stick to it!

What?

Okay, buster.

And you know, George never
forgot what Florence
did for him.

So whenever
she was feeling low,

George would do
his best to help.

You don't understand,
Mr. Jefferson.

I mean what I'm doing
just ain't enough for me.

I feel like
I was meant to do
something else.

Something satisfying.

What could be
more satisfying
than working for me?

Okay, Florence,

so what if anything
didn't work out,

but that's no reason
for you to give up.

I didn't succeed
at the first thing
I tried doing either,

but I kept trying
because I knew I had
what it takes to get ahead.

What's that?
I had it.

It?
That's right.

And you want to know
something Florence,
you've got it too.

I do?

Of course you do.

But you said I was
just wasting my time.

Look, I might say
a lot of things
I don't really mean.

And that I just sit around
and don't do nothing.

Well, maybe I didn't
mean that either.

And that I'm a rotten cook.

Don't push it, Florence.

You really think
I've got it?

Of course,
I know you've got it.

But the big thing is that
you think you've got it too.

You do don't you?

Yeah,
thanks, Mr. Jefferson.

I've got it.
Great.

Now take it out
in the kitchen
and get me some coffee.

So you see, Carmen?

Just because
George may get mad
from time to time,

it doesn't mean that
he doesn't like you.

It just means that...

Well, I'm not sure
what it means.

Ah-ha!

Just what I thought!

Now, George...

Don't try to
defend her, Weezy.

She hasn't done one thing
since I been gone, right?

But, Mr. Jefferson...
You're hopeless!

I been saying it all along.

You're hopeless,
incompetent.

Lazy.
Yes, lazy.

And you're an insult
to anybody who knows
how to hold on a mop.

Oh, thank you
for saying that,
Mr. Jefferson.

Thank you, thank you.

Since you feel that way
I'll stay around
as long as you want me.

I like you, too.

Hey, wait a minute.
What about breakfast?

Oh, no thanks.
I already ate.

Hmm!

You know, Weez.

In some way she reminds me
a lot of Florence.

Florence!

What are you doing here?

Didn't you hear the news?

The St. Fredrick Hotel
had a fire.

GEORGE: What?
Child, it went down
in flames.

Oh, what about your job?

Child, it went down
in flames.

But, you know, it sure is
a good thing you said,

I could have my job back
any time I wanted it...

'Cause I sure want it.