08x23 - A Small Victory

[bunniefuu]

To a deluxe apartment
in the sky

We finally got
a piece of the pie

Fish don't fry
in the kitchen

Beans don't burn
on the grill

Took a whole
lot of tryin'

Now we're up
in the big leagues

As long as we live,
it's you and me, baby

There ain't nothin'
wrong with that

To a deluxe apartment
in the sky

We finally got
a piece of the pie

Miss Jefferson, I got
a bone to pick with you.

Which bone is it this time?

I just scoured
out the bathtub.

And look at this hairball
I got out the drain!

Just look at it!

Very nice. But actually,
I prefer the dry look.

I don't know how
Mr. Jefferson does it.

It seems like
he's losing more hair
than he ever sprouted.

Please don't say anything.

George is very worried
about losing his hair.

FLORENCE: Well, he ought
to be worried.

It must be a disaster
happening on top of his head.

'Cause his hair
sure is evacuating.

Hi, Louise, Florence.

Hi, Helen. I'll be ready
to go in a minute.

Don't rush. The way
things are going down
at the Help Center,

I am in no hurry
to get there.

I know what you mean.
Come on, let's sit down.

We'll have
some coffee first.

Uh, Florence?
Okay, sounds good to me.

No, Florence, I meant
for you to get some
coffee for us.

Okay, Miss Jefferson,
in a second.

What's happening at
the Help Center, child?

It's been m*rder for
the last six months.

With Reagan in office? Hmm!

There doesn't seem
to be enough money
for social programs.

Yeah, every program
the Help Center has
is being cut back.

It's getting to the point
where we need to have a help
center for the Help Center.

I am so frustrated.
Some days I wonder if it's
all worth the effort.

Yeah, well, I think that...

Hold that thought,
Miss Jefferson.

And let me
tell you what I think.

I think you got
a hairball problem.

Beg your pardon?

You see, day after day,
I'm in the bathroom
digging out

Mr. Jefferson's hairballs.

No sooner do I get rid
of one, then another one
sneaks up behind me.

Some days I wonder
if it's all worth the effort.

Yeah?

So?

So, even though I don't
like it, I still do my
daily hairballing.

'Cause Lord knows you
ain't gonna do it for me.

Safe bet.
Exactly.

My point is, nobody's going
down to the Help Center

and do your job
for you, either.

I know, but lately
we've had so many setbacks.

Look, you're doing
the best you can.

At least you're trying.
And that's a whole lot more
than a lot of folks can say.

Hello, girls.

I hate it when men
call women "girls".

Me, too. George,
why do you do that?

'Cause I know
you ain't a boy.

Or did you forget
about that little
evening four weeks ago?

Hey, buddy, I don't
know what kind of
vitamins you're taking,

but I could sure use
some of them myself.

Amen to that.

It's nice to have
you home, George.

Uh, can we put
that to a vote?

But why aren't
you two at work?

Well, we decided to
take the whole day off,

and believe me,
we've got it coming.

That's right.
After all, me and Willis
are big businessmen, right?

At least,
I'm a big businessman.

He's extra large.

Let's face it.
Me and Willis are past
that time-clock stage.

We are, what you call,
a couple of
financial maggots.

That's "magnate", George.

Although in your case,
both pronunciations apply.

Look, we got the whole day
stretchin' ahead of us.

What do you say
the four of us go out and
do something together?

I would ask you to come,
Florence, but you're not
wearing enough make-up

and I don't wanna get
no lawsuits.

Well, Mr. Jefferson.
According to this mirror
my make-up looks fine.

Well, what do you say?
You coming with us?

We can't, Tom. We're due
down at the Help Center.

Yeah, and I can't wait
to get there.

The Help Center
has nice, hard walls.

Perfect for banging
your head against.

What do you mean?

Well, it's just that
for a Help Center,

we don't seem to be
helping very many people.

Well, if that's the only
thing bothering you,

just change the sign to
"The Not Much Help Center".

George, it's not funny.

Lately our work there
is one big headache.

Then quit.
Quit?

Yeah, you don't need
no headaches,
you're married to me.

I thought you enjoyed
working there.

Oh, we do, but it's
just that we're not
seeing enough results.

Then quit. Look, you're
supposed to enjoy
the money we give you.

Do like the other
rich ladies do.

Go out, go to lunch,
go shopping,

then come home and
gossip with each other,
until us men get home, right?

Sounds like a pretty
full day to me!

Dear, if your work
at the Help Center
is too difficult,

maybe you should find
something else to do.

Look, Tom, we work
down at the Help Center
because we care.

And we're not about
to quit just because
it's not easy.

Look, Weez, I'm glad you're
working at the Help Center.

Oh, thank you, George!

I mean, so what if you
never help anybody?

I mean, the important
thing is that you get
out of the house,

you get to show
your diamonds off,
and, you know, k*ll the day!

You know, when I
married George, it was
"till death do us part."

Let's get out of here
before us do part!

What are you doing?

We just lost
the neighborhood crime
watch program, too.

But why? That was the
one program that didn't
require any money.

But it required people.

Everybody in the neighborhood
thought it was a nice idea,

but nobody wanted to
come to the meetings.

Why not?

They were afraid
that if they left home,
they'd be ripped off.

Look, Louise, we've only been
here an hour, and already
it's been a horrendous day.

I think that...

We've reached the

"you know what" stage.

Oh, no, Helen, not that.

I know. I hate to resort
to it myself, but...

We have got to make it
through this day somehow.

What other choice
do we have?

All right.
I'll get the stuff.

Good.

Mmm.
Mmm!

Having fun?

Oh, hello!

Um, come in.

Come in!

You see, it's been
a depressing day,

so we just broke down and
got out the old chips.

Oh, my God, you're hurt!

No, it's an allergy.

See, this time of year,
I always break out
in black eyes.

Here, sit down.

Uh, listen.

I'm Helen,
and this is Louise.

What's your name?

Would you like to tell us
who did this to you?

Nobody. I fell down.

What'd you do,
land on someone's fist?

Oh, you so hip!

You're a prost*tute,
aren't you?

Well, hey, another genius!

My guess is, you were
roughed up by either
your John or your pimp.

Wow!

Technical terms.

I bet you never missed
a single episode of Baretta.

Look, you don't have to
prove to us you're tough.

We are here to help you.

And that's the name
of that tune!

Here, drink this, Linda.

It's Maggie.

Good, now at least
we know your name.

Congratulations.
That's one for you.

Maggie, you're a young,
pretty girl.

Why don't you let us
help you find another job?

The Help Center
has a program...

I know, I know,
secretarial school,

for ex-junkies, ex-cons,
and ex-hookers. Right?

Well, yeah.
But you can learn...

How to type, how to take
shorthand, and how to
make a good cup of coffee.

And, gee,
if I work real hard,
I can make $ a week.

That's right.

I make $ a day,
sweetheart.

Tax free.

How much of it
do you get to keep?

So Maggie, are you happy?

You know, I think
that, deep down,

you know
there's a better way.

Don't you want to have
a normal life,

with normal relationships?

Someone to love you?

Hey, I got
somebody who loves me.
My man loves me.

He's got a great way
of showing it.

I had this coming, see?

My man cares enough
about me to keep me in line.

Maggie,
you're a grown woman.

You don't need anybody
to keep you in line.

Who are you
to tell me what I need?

We're not trying to
tell you anything.

We're asking you to
think about your life,

to think about
what you could be doing,
to think about...

Look, I didn't come
in here for a sermon.

Really, then why
are you here?

I came in to get
some ice, for my eye.

So, how about it?

Uh, we don't have
any ice.

Yesterday, our refrigerator...

Was stolen.

Well, thanks so much
for all your help.

Maggie!

I know we come off
a little preachy,

but Helen and I have been
working here for five years

with people who've had
all kinds of problems,

and we'd like to think that
we know what we're doing.

You rich do-gooders don't
know nothin' about nothin'.

You leave your fancy
homes and you come
slumming down here

for a couple of hours a day
to dabble in other
people's misery.

You want me to pour
my heart out to you,

so that you can run home
and tell your husbands

about the poor little
wretch that you saved.

Well, I'm not gonna let
you use me like that.

You just find somebody else
to make you think you're
doing something worthwhile.

Damn.

Louise, I don't think
potato chips are gonna
do it this time.

Well, not these, anyway.

Let's get the hell
out of here

and find the nearest bar.

I wanna propose a toast.

To what?

Our last day
at the Help Center.

I don't know, Helen.
This place looks
a little rough.

How rough could it be?
It's called "Mom's".

Besides, look.

There's a security
guard right at the bar.

Yeah. I guess we'll be safe.

Oh.

I'm Mom.

Hurry up and order,
it's happy hour.

You're Mom?

Oh, yes. There it is
in red, white and blue.

Um, Mom?

Could we see a menu?

Oh, my!

How quaint.

Gee, I can't make up
my mind.

Everything looks so good!

What do you want?

I'd like to have
a vodka gimlet on the rocks,
with a twist, please.

And I'm in the mood for
a fresh banana daiquiri.

Two beers.

Perfect.Perfect.

Oh, look. Someone carved
a poem on the table.

"Roses are red

"Violets are blue

"Take off
your clothes, and..."

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Isn't that impossible?

Not according
to that diagram.

How much
do we owe you?

I'm gonna keep the change.

Please do.
Please do.

Uh, Helen?
Yeah?

Do you really want to
quit the Help Center?

Well...

It's just that I'm so tired
of getting a cold shoulder

from the government,
and from the city,

and even from the people
we're trying to help.

Well, along the way
we have had some successes.

But they've been so few
and so far between.

What are you
thinking, Louise?

About Maggie.
Mmm.

A young girl like that,
living a life like that.

I wanted to help her
so much, but...

I couldn't get through.
I know.

She got to me, too.

So much so, that here
I am sitting in a place

where the menu is carved
on a man named Mom.

But, Helen, maybe it is us.

Maybe we are not qualified
to help people like Maggie.

What do you mean?

Well, maybe we're
too far removed.

I used to think
I could relate to these
people's problems,

because I was raised in
a neighborhood like this.

But now I'm just a visitor.

So, what's the answer?

I don't know.

In order to relate
to these people,

do we have to move
into the ghetto,

and give all
our money away,

give up our jewelry
and our nice clothes?

No.
No.

So maybe George is right.

Maybe we should stop
trying to save the world.

He thinks we should
spend our days lunching.

And shopping.

And gossiping.

And sipping cocktails

in some of the finest
lounges in New York!

Bottoms up!

His is.

Must have been
the water.

Hi, Sugar.
Where the hell you been?

Oh, I've been doing...
Save it.

Give me, give me, give me.

Sugar, I don't have
nothing for you.

You got nothing?

What you been doing, huh?

Not making me
any money, that's for sure.

See, Sugar,
I've been walking around
doing some thinking...

Thinking? What makes
you think you can think?

Now look, walking is fine,
but thinking is my job.

And I'm thinking,

that you'd better get your
tail out on that street

and bring me some money.

See, Sugar,
what I've been thinking

is that I'd kinda like
to go back to Cincinnati.

What?
I want to go home, Sugar.

Home, baby? You are home.

See now, you had to
go and try to think.

So now you got yourself
all turned around.

So now, I'm just gonna
have to straighten you out,
like I did this morning.

In the car!

I don't want to go
in the car.

Excuse us.

But there seems to be
a disagreement here,

and we have an opinion,
if you'd care to hear it.

Baby, move.

Uh, I don't think
he cares to hear it.

Well, he's going
to hear it anyway.

Maggie, don't worry.
It'll be okay.

And he's through
pushing you around!

Hey, lady.

Stay out of my business.

I'll put you out
on the streets, too.

Look, we are not
afraid of you!

Baby, don't you go
crazy on me, huh.

You know that
I'm all you got.

I mean, you were nothin'
when I found you.

Now, you wanna go back
to being nothing, huh?

Of course not.

You go home, you lose me.
You can't afford to lose me.

Hey, how can you hurt me
like this, baby? I love you.

Well, you got a real
great way of showing it.

No, Sugar.
I'm going home.

Baby, there's only
one place you're going,
and that's in the car.

Don't you strike her!

Hey, listen.

If you think I won't
go through both of you

to get what's mine,
you're crazy.

Look, mister,
if you want her,

you're gonna have to go
through the both of us.

Won't he, Helen?

Helen?

Right, Louise.

You want to move?

We did it, Helen!
We stared him down!

Well...

Not quite, Louise. Look.

Hey, I don't allow
no trouble in here.

Besides,

I got a daughter.

Maggie, are you all right?

I don't know.

But I'll tell you
one thing.

You two ladies
are really...

Crazy.

Well, right now,
we're going to send you
back to Cincinnati.

Come on, Helen,
let's get our coats.

Right.

Helen?
Yeah?

You can let go
of my arm now.

Sorry, Louise.

Helen? You still want
to quit the Help Center?

What for?

I think we do
a pretty good job.

Yeah, and I hope
I'll always remember
this feeling.

Because it's the small
victories that make up
for all the big losses.

Amen.

Listen, you guys,
you really stuck your
necks out for me, and...

Well, I... You know,
I appreciate it.

Oh, it's okay, Maggie.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Maggie, we're taking
you to the bus station.

You're going home.

I met Sugar
at the bus station.

Like I said,
we're taking you
to the airport.

You're going home.

Thanks, Mom.