09x21 - Father's Day

[bunniefuu]

To a deluxe apartment
in the sky

We finally got
a piece of the pie

Fish don't fry
in the kitchen

Beans don't burn
on the grill

Took a whole lot
of tryin'

Now we're up
in the big leagues

As long as we live,
it's you and me, baby

There ain't nothin' wrong
with that

To a deluxe apartment
in the sky

We finally got
a piece of the pie

TOM: Ah!

Well, thanks a lot
for all the help, Tom.

Do I detect a note of sarcasm?

You seem to forget that
I was the one that pressed
the "Door open" button

until you were safely
off the elevator.

Well, draw up a chair.
You must be bushed.

Aw, sweetheart,
I really wanted to help.

But I was afraid
I'd reopen my paper cut.

Well, thank goodness,
chivalry isn't completely dead.

Why, if it wasn't for that
nice little kid

we never would've made it
to the elevator at all.

Oh, you mean Darren?

You two
are on a first name basis?

Well, I didn't want
to say anything
in front of him,

but I think he's got
a crush on me.

You're kidding!

That's crazy!

Not really, Tom.

When you were a kid,
didn't you ever have
a crush on an older woman?

Oh, yes, but not that old.

What?

I didn't mean "old" as in you.

I meant "old" as in, uh,
people your age.

Whew! I got out of that one.

Louise, what makes you
think that Darren
has a crush on you?

Because he's always
smiling and waving.

Well, so is the Pope,
but he doesn't have
a crush on anyone.

Oh, at least I hope not.

And he's always hanging
around the Help Center.

I think he just wants to see me.

Well, doesn't he know
you're a married woman?

Yes. As a matter-of-fact,
he asked me about George.

I think he's scouting
the competition.

Oh! Well, that's all
very fascinating, Louise.

But we have to get to work
on that Help Center Program
for shut-ins.

Now if you just...

You know, Darren
kept asking when was
George coming home.

I think he wants
to be alone with me.

What an imagination
for a -year-old kid.

Now, well about
the Help Center...

You know, I'm going to have
to call this whole thing off,

and let Darren down very gently.

Of course, to tell the truth,
I am kind of flattered.

No!

Yes! It's nice to know

that you're someone's
first crush,

that he's put you on a pedestal,

worships the ground
you walk on,

and thinks only of you.

Oh, listen.

You ain't gonna believe this
but there's this
little kid named Darren

who worships
the ground I walk on.

Why that two-timer!

Puppy love is so cute.
Guess what he did?

Uh, Florence, we don't
have time to discuss that.

We've got Help Center
business to do.
Don't we, Helen?

Oh, no, no.
I'm very interested.
Go on, Florence.

Well, anyway, he's been
hinting for me to
invite him over for lunch.

And dig this,

he wants to know
if Mr. Jefferson
will be home.

I think he wants
to be alone with me.

Oh, how romantic.

Candlelight, soft music
and Twinkies.

Now, can we get back to
Help Center business?

I can't go nowhere.
He follows me every place I go.

Oh, well, that
sort of thing would
drive Helen crazy.

You're lucky
nobody is interested
in you, dear.

I think that I must be his
very first crush.

Oh, Florence, I hate
to burst your bubble,

but I'm the one
Darren has a crush on.

He's probably just
using you to get to me.

Why would he have
a crush on you?

Well, I mean, you are
already married.

There's no need
to get defensive.

You know, I don't believe it.

You two are fighting
over a -year-old.

Sour grapes, Helen?

Okay, I give up. He's crazy
about the two of you.

He likes me!

He likes me!

Me!

-Hi, Florence.
-Hi, Darren.

-Hi, Mrs. Jefferson.
-Oh, hi, Darren.

Oh, I see you have company.
I'll come back some other time.

Oh no, no, no, no, no,
this is the perfect moment.
Come in.

-Now, this is Tom Willis.
-Hi.

Hi, Darren.
And this is Helen, my wife.

Tom, why don't you go
into the kitchen for
some milk and cookies?

All righty. Oh, Darren,
can I get you anything?

Tom...

Sorry, I'll, I'll be right back.

So, tell me, dear. Who do you
want to see?

Well, I guess, you,
Mrs. Jefferson.

Of course you do, dear.
Now tell me
how can I help you?

Well, it's kind of hard
to talk about.

Of course it is, dear.

Let's sit down.

-Uh, Helen.
-Oh...

Now, Darren,
you are going through

an exciting period in your life.

Things are just beginning to
awaken in you.

Does it embarrass you to
have everyone hear this?

I'm not sure.
I haven't understood
a word you've said.

Of course, you don't understand.

It's only normal that you
be confused at your age.

I was once.

I'm .

Oh, the years have
been good to you.

Uh, Louise.

Why don't you get this settled
before he becomes ?

Okay, well, here goes.

Darren, I know you have
a crush on me.

No, I don't.

You see, I knew it!
It's me!

You? Hey, get serious.

I'm only !

I'm not even interested
in girls yet,
let alone you two.

Well, that's all
I wanted to hear.

I guess I'll go out
in the kitchen
and check on Tom.

Oh, and ladies, be strong.

Well, Darren, even though
you've broken my heart,

there is a silver lining
to every cloud.

So, at least, I don't have
to watch Scooby-Doo
just to talk to you.

Uh, listen, Darren,

I never thought that
you had a crush on me.

I was just trying to spare
Florence's feelings.

You do understand,
don't you?

No, but that hasn't
stopped you yet.

Okay. Maybe there's an
easier way to do this.

Darren, why have you
been hanging around
the Help Center?

Because I need help.

Why didn't you just ask me?
Because I felt funny.

You see, there were
so many people there
with really big problems.

Mine didn't seem
so important.

Oh, why don't you let me
be the judge of that?

Okay. Every year,
our school has this big
bowling tournament, right?

And I've been
practicing for months.

And, well,
I've gotten pretty good.

But the problem is,
it's a father
and son tournament.

And I don't have
anyone to go with.

Oh, really, Darren?

Well, listen, I'll be
glad to go with you.

-Really? What's your average?
-.

Like I said, I don't have
anyone to go with.

Well, I have
a paper cut anyway.

Anyway, since I've seen
Mr. Jefferson carrying around
a bowling bag so much,

I thought maybe
he could take me.

And that's why you've
been hanging around?

Sure. What did you think?

Oh, uh...

Uh, that!

Darren, here's some
milk and cookies for you.

Thank you.

Well, Louise,
we're gonna take the
rest of these brochures

and pass them out to
everyone in this building.

And, Tom, this time
you've got to do your part.

Of course, my angel.
I'll get the elevator.

Uh, now, Darren,
when is this tournament?

Tomorrow night.

Oh, that's pretty short notice,
isn't it?

Yeah. It's just that
it was hard for me to ask.

I kept putting it off
and now I guess it's too late.

Hey, Weez!

Oh, hi, George.
Excuse me, Darren.

-Hi, Mr. Jefferson.
-How ya doin?

Who's that?

-He's a friend of mine.
His name is Darren.
-Oh.

-Oh, how ya doing, Darren?
-Hi.

Hey, I hope you ain't
messing around
with my wife?

Man, what's with
everyone around here?

Uh, George, I want to ask
you something.

Will you excuse us
a minute, Darren?

Uh, George, Darren is
having a little problem,

and I'm hoping
you can help him.

Oh! Well, if it's a problem
with women, I'm the expert.

Well, actually,
it's about bowling.
Same difference.

George, please.

Now he has
a tournament coming up,

but he doesn't have a partner.

So he came here to ask
if you could go with him.

It would mean a lot to him.

Weezy, every kid would
love the chance
to go bowling with me.

-When's the tournament?
-Tomorrow night.

Oh, no, I. can't
do it tomorrow night.

I got tickets
to the Knicks game.

Weezy, the Lakers
are gonna be in town.

I wanna see how much
the Knicks are gonna lose by.

George, it's a father and son
tournament.

Well, let his father
take him then.

He doesn't have one.

Uh, say, Darren. Look here.

I got some tickets
to the basketball game
tomorrow night.

Why don't we go there instead?

Well, thanks. I appreciate it,

but I've really been
practicing a long time
for this tournament.

Oh! Well look,
maybe I can find you
another partner.

Um, what about Willis?

Oh, I forgot.
This is a sporting event.

I was hoping
you'd be my partner.
I heard you're pretty good.

Yeah? Well, whoever
told you that
was lyin'. I'm great.

You don't have to tell me.
I saw that trophy
in your store window.

Oh, you did?
I'm surprised
you even noticed it.

Yes. It's so inconspicuous,
sitting in the window
with that spotlight on it.

Gee, sure wish
I'd have one of those.

Yeah, well, you
can't have that one.
That's mine.

I mean, I'd like to
win one of my own.
But I understand.

It's a father and
son tournament,
and I'm not your son.

Thanks anyway, Mr. Jefferson.
Bye, Mrs. Jefferson.

Hey, wait a minute.
Wait a minute.

Darren, uh, look.
Tell you what.

I'll give you
a Jefferson Cleaners
bowling shirt for good luck.

Gee, that's really nice.

Hey, wait, wait, wait.
Wear it tomorrow night.

I'm gonna wear mine.
And we're gonna go bowling.

-You mean it?
-Sure, I do.

-All right!
-Oh, George,
I'm so proud of you.

Yeah, that makes
three of us, Weez.

Okay, Florence, let's see.

Now we have shut-ins.

How many volunteers?

Oh, several.

Um...

Three.

We won! We won
the bowling tournament.

-You did?
-Oh, why, congratulations!

Oh, you should
have seen it, Weez.

There we were
in the last frame,

down by five pins
and all we needed
was a spare to win,

and I'm up there staring
at a - split.

You picked up the -?

No, Darren picked it up.
I was just staring at it.

Well, Darren, you got
what you wanted.

A trophy to put
in your own room.
Yep.

Be sure you shine a bright
light on it, so all your
friends can look at it,

and eat their hearts out.

Thanks, but
why don't you keep it
here, Mr. Jefferson?

No, I couldn't.

-I want you to.
-Okay, if you insist.

George!

-Never mind. You take it.
-I don't think so.
Winning it was enough.

And if you keep it,
it wiII be my way
of saying thanks.

Besides, it'll be just
like havin' it myself...

If I can come
and visit it sometimes.

Anytime you want.

You better reconsider, Darren.
I mean, with him
as your partner, child,

you may never win
another trophy.

What are you
talking about, Florence?

How many things have
you known me to lose?

Three.

Your temper, your height,
and your hair.

Have you ever won a trophy,
Florence?

No. But her day's coming.

They're planning
a Lazy Maid's Marathon.

Come on, Darren.
I'll make you a milkshake.

Besides, it's my turn
to talk to the hero
of the bowling tournament.

Oh, are you
forgetting about me?

Just as soon as
I get in the kitchen.

Okay, now, where should
I put this?

I got it.

-Hi.
-Hi.

I was wondering
if Louise Jefferson is in.

I'm here to enquire
about the Help Center
Community Services Program.

Oh, come on in.

Oh, hi, I'm Louise.
Can I help you, Mr...

-Please, call me Ray.
-Oh, hi, Ray. This is
my husband George.

-Hi, George.
-How are you?

Now, how can I help you?

Well, I got your flyer
and it said to contact you.

And since
I live in the building,

I thought I'd come down
and see you in person.

Oh, great. I'm glad you came.

Now, what kind of
assistance do you need?

Me? Oh, I don't need anything.

You see, I'm here
to offer my help.

Help?

Oh, help! Oh, I knew that.

Why would you need help?

You're blowing it, Weez.

That's okay,
it's a natural mistake.

Oh, let me show you

a list of our
proposed activities.Okay.

-Nice place you got here.
-Oh, thank you. I picked
out the picture myself.

The beauty of it is,

it could either be
the Atlantic or the Pacific.

Versatile.

GEORGE: Thank you.

Here you go.

Let's see here. Sign painting.
No problem.

Furniture repair. No problem.

Square dancing.
I'll pass on that one.

You see, basically,
any fix-it jobs you got,
I can handle it.

Oh, we could definitely
use your help.
When are you available?

Any weeknight you need me,
except next Tuesday.

The Seventy-Sixers are in town,

and I want to see
how much the Knicks lose by.

Oh, yeah?
You're a Knicks' fan?

Yes, I'm the one.
I've been following
them for a long time.

Yeah, but this year,
they ain't too much
to root for.

Oh, I don't know.
Bernard King is playing
some pretty good ball.

He scored points last week.
And I was at that game.

Oh, yeah? I was there.

Oh, it was great, Weezy.
You should have seen it.

Everybody was jumping up
and screaming and yelling
and standing up in their seats.

Tell me about it.
I missed the whole
fourth quarter.

-I like the Knicks, too.
-Oh, Weezy, now what do
you know about basketball?

I know a lot.

It's the same as football.

Except the fellows are taller,

they use a round ball,

they dress skimpier
and they play indoors.

Well, she got a handle on it,
all right.

Hey, I see you're a bowler.

Oh, that old thing.
No, no, no,
I just won this today.

That's a beauty.

-"Father and Son
Championship, ."
-Yep.

The big guy is me.
Well, congratulations.

Well thank you.
Well, actually the kid
deserves all the credit.

You see,
because he picked me.

Picked you?

Well, he's not
actually our son.

George took a boy
who doesn't have a father.

Did you?

Well, you know, I do
a lot of stuff like that.

You live in the building.
You'll hear the legend.

I've heard a lot
about you already.

But you still seem
like a nice guy.

Tell you what I'll do.
I have some engraving
tools upstairs

and I'll put both
your names on it for you.

Hey, that's great.
Then I won't have to
pay nobody to do it.

Okay, tell you what.
Just put George Jefferson,
nah, nah, nah.

I might as well give
the kid top billing. Okay.
His name's Darren Taylor.

Taylor?
Taylor. T-A-Y-L-O-R.

I know how to spell it.
He's my son.

-Oh.
-Oh...

Mr. Taylor, we're very sorry.
We didn't know, really.

That's okay.
It's not your fault.

Well, we should've
checked it out.

Well, you should've
checked it out, Weez.

Why would you?

You see, it's only been
three years since my accident.

And I guess it's harder
for him to adjust to
than it is for me.

Well, maybe you should go
in the kitchen because...

We got some coffee
and doughnuts out there.

I'll go out to the kitchen,
Weez.

Why don't you stay here
and a talk, you know, about

basketball and bowling
and nothing else, okay?

Of course, my favorite
soap opera is
The Rich and the Worthless.

Child, you wouldn't
believe what happens
on that show.

You see, Zane got
lost in a plane crash.

Of course, his wife
don't know it because
she's got amnesia.

That's why she's marrying Ed.

Now, last season,
Ed was a woman.

Gee, too bad
I have to go to school
and miss all that.

Yeah.

Uh, say, Florence,

I'd like to talk to Darren
for a minute.
It's important, okay.

Okay, sure.

And one more thing.

I'm going to ask you
something

that's probably
very difficult for you.
What's that?

Well, would you be able to
walk from here to your bedroom
without saying a word?

-Now, listen, Mr. Jefferson...
-For $?

Hey, Mr. Jefferson,
want some of this milkshake?

It's pretty good.

Oh, no, forget the milkshake.
Darren, look,
your father's out there.

Does he know I'm in here?

No. Why did you tell me
your father was dead?

I never said that.

What I said was that
I didn't have anyone to
go to the tournament with.

What are you talking about?
You don't have anybody to go
to the tournament with?

The tournament's
for father and son.

You got a father.
Why didn't you go with him?

-I couldn't.
-What do you mean
you couldn't?

Think about it. All those
kids and their dads
bowling with 'em.

It'd be too much for him.

What do you mean?
You mean, it'd be
too much for you?

Come on, Mr. Jefferson.
I was trying to
spare his feelings.

My father has a handicap.

No. Your father
has a disability.
You have a handicap.

You shouldn't be
ashamed of your father.

Sure, there a lot of
things he can't do.

But there are a lot of
things he can do.

Like what?

Well, I don't know.
Maybe he could bowl
a three hundred game.

Did you ever ask him?

-No.
-Well, you see, that's
what I'm talking about.

Look, a lot of people
in wheelchairs can
do all kinds of things.

Some play tennis,
some play basketball,
some even run the marathon.

I mean, you're never gonna
find out what your father
can do until you ask him.

Look, I'm gonna
go back out, okay?

I'm not gonna
tell him you're here.

And when he leaves,
if you feel like it,
you can come out, all right?

-Wait, Mr. Jefferson. I'll go.
-Good.

So if you could build
those bookcases for
Mrs. Nelson, we just...

Hi, Dad.

Darren! You been
here all the time?

Yeah. I was in the kitchen.

Uh, see, Mr. Jefferson and I,
we sort of went bowling today.

I know. I saw your trophy.

Congratulations.

Listen, Dad, I'm sorry.

Hey, that's okay.

You see, it hasn't been
easy for me and I know
it hasn't been easy for you.

But tell you what,
we'll get it straight.

Why don't we
talk about it upstairs?

Yeah. Good idea.

And by the way,
I'm really proud
of you about this.

Why don't we take it home
and put your name on it, huh?

That'd be great. Thanks, Dad.

It was very nice meeting
the two of you.

And it was nice
meeting you too, Ray.

Say, Mr. Jefferson. Thanks.

What do you mean,
for the bowling?

No, I wasn't talking
about the bowling.

Hey, look, Darren.

If you feel like it,
you can tell everybody that
the big guy is you, okay?