11x14 - Last Dance

[bunniefuu]

in the sky

a piece of the pie

in the kitchen

on the grill

in the big leagues

it's you and me, baby

with that

in the sky

a piece of the pie

Mmm.

This is absolutely
one of the finest cocktails
I've ever tasted.

When I think of all
those poor
children in China

who have never had
a really dry martini.

Here's to them!
To them.

Oh, I'm so happy you two
could come to our little
goodbye dinner for Clark.

He's such
a nice young man.
Yep.

When he first came
to me about his high school
work study program,

I thought he was just
another young punk

trying to cut class
and have fun.

Working at a drycleaner's?
Yeah, well, you know how kids
like to have fun.

But not my Clark.
I mean, he's dedicated,
hardworking...

And late for dinner.

Something you'll never
be accused of.

There he is.
My trainee,
your dinner guest.

And our country's hope
for a cleaner tomorrow.

Hello, sir.

Come on in, Clark.
It's okay.

Hi, sir.

Sir? Look, come on.
You're in my home.
You don't have to be formal.

Just call me
Mr. Jefferson.

Okay, Mr. Jefferson.
Hi, Mrs. Jefferson.

Hello, Clark.
And friends
of Mr. Jefferson.

Helen and Tom Willis,
meet Clark Spivvy.

Hello, Clark.

Nice to meet you.

Forty to sixty gabardine
to polyester blend.

Damn he's good!

Oh, Clark what have you
got in the box?

Oh, allow me.

Forty-sixty fruit pie

to whipped cream blend.

Damn he's good, too.

It's blueberry pie,
Mrs. Jefferson.
Oh, thank you.

Uh-oh!

Blueberries, the demons
of the stain world.

Oh, don't worry,
Mr. Jefferson. I brought
along some triethanolomine

and salt
of linear alkyl benzene
sulfonic acid.

I carry it for just
such emergencies.

You certainly know
dry cleaning, Clark.

Yeah, well,
cleaning is my life.

That's very admirable.
But surely you have
some other interests.

No, ma'am. You see, uh,
sports give you injuries
and girls break your heart.

But dry-cleaning

gives you back
everything you put into it.

Cut it out, Clark.
I'm getting misty.

You want a drink?
I'm only , sir.

Hors d'oeurves?

He'd like to live
to see .

Clark, this is Florence.
Florence, Clark.

Nice to meet you.
Nice to meet you.

We're happy to have you.
I'm happy to be here.

You know, Mr. Jefferson
has told us a lot
of nice things about you.

Oh, Mr. Jefferson
said you were...

Well, I'm happy
to be here.

You're a lot prettier
than Mr. Jefferson said.

Oh, how sweet.

You know, Mr. Jefferson,
when you grow up,

I hope you turn out
just like him.

So, Clark, I hear your
semester at Jefferson Cleaners
is almost over.

Yes, sir. I try not
to think about it.

Well,

I was gonna save this
for dessert, but seeing
we got blueberry pie, Clark,

how'd you like to come
and work for me this summer,
part time?

Do you mean it?
Does the pant presser stick
after three hours of usage?

Wow!

Just wait till my mom
hears this!

I'm gonna be
a part time drycleaner!

When can I start?
Well, how about Saturday?

We're having an
unclaimed items inventory.
It could go on all night.

You're not teasing,
are you?

Would I tease
about cleaning?

Well, Saturday's fine.
I'm not doing anything.

And all the other kids'll
be at the prom.

Great. Perfect!
Oh, Clark, wait a minute.

You're not going
to your prom?

Uh, no, ma'am.
I'm not much
of a party animal.

You could've fooled me.

Nah. Proms are
a waste of time
and hard-earned money.

Oh, no, no, no, Clark.

It's a once
in a lifetime experience.

You know, to this day

I still remember
the last dance.

And...
Women dance.
Men clean. Right?

Okay, now, Clark.

Oh, not all men.
Now, Clark, I remember
my senior prom.

Oh.

Bunny Windsor
Riverside Country Club.

And then, sneaking away
from the crowd

for you know what.

Tom!

Oh, that Bunny piled
a Dagwood sandwich so high

it could bring tears
to your eyes.

It's only a dumb dance.

Clark, it's your first real
taste of adulthood.

Oh, I just loved dressing
up in my strapless gown
with the hidden under wiring,

then eating lobster at
Amelio's

and then parking
at Inspiration Point

with Bradley Squires.

Helen, you never told me!

Lobster at Amelio's?

Well, be that as it may,

we're talking about memories
that will stay with you
for the rest of your life.

All right, all right.
Go to the prom.

But when you get there

remember those two magic words
that's music to every
drycleaner's ears.

What, Mr. Jefferson?

"Food fight!"

Well, uh, nothing would
make me happier, sir,

but there's just one
tiny problem.
Huh.

I can't get a date.

What?

A good-looking boy
like you can't get a date?

You think
I'm good-looking?

Well, on a scale
of one to ten,
him being a one...

I'd say you were an .

Thanks, Florence,
but it's only a prom.

Honey, listen
to the voice of experience.

Now, I didn't go to my prom,
and I have always
regretted it.

Why didn't you go?

The guy I had my eye on
didn't ask me.

And in those days,
girls didn't ask boys out.

But I tell you one thing,
if I had it to do
all over again

I sure would ask
Snicky Harris.

Snicky?

You liked a guy
named Snicky?

Snicky is a nickname,
Mr. Jefferson.

You know, like
Laundry Lizard.

Well, at least you had
someone, Florence.
I don't.

Nobody likes me.

Oh, honey,
everybody likes you.

I like you.

You do?

Sure.

Well, then will you go
to the prom with me?

Uh...

Uh, well, gee, honey,
I would love to, but I've got
a date for Saturday night.

Yeah. The same date
she has every
Saturday night.

She's gonna take
The Love Boat
to Fantasy Island.

Anyway, you don't want
to go with me.

Why don't you get
a girl your own height?

I'm sure there's somebody
else you want to ask.

Well, actually,
there is someone.

But I wouldn't know
what to say.

Oh, now that's easy.
You just call her up and say,

"A prom is a once
in a lifetime experience

"with memories to last
for all eternity,

"and I wouldn't want
to share this night
with anyone but..."

Well, you fill in the blank.

I'll do it!

I'll go call fill
in the blank.
I mean, Danelle.

Right now.
Thanks everybody.

Uh, wait a minute, Clark,
I cooked a huge dinner.

Oh, thanks,
but I'm pretty excited.

If I eat now,
I'll probably throw up.

What's the matter,
Mr. Jefferson?
You reading a new comic strip?

No, I was just picturing you
in a prom dress.

I guess I would look
kind of foolish.

Can you picture me
with a corsage?

He'd probably have to bring
a whole rosebush
for you to hide behind.

Hey, with an up sweep hairdo?
Yeah, like a conehead.

Wait a minute!
This is me we're laughing at.
I know.

Oh, hi. Come on in.
Hi. Hi, Florence.

Come on, it's all right.

So, how'd it go
with Danelle?
Oh, fine.

Danelle's fine.
It went fine.

Then everything worked?
Everything I planned
worked, huh?

Worked fine.
It was great. Super.

You just remember,
you dance one of those dances
for me now.

So Saturday night
inventory's out, huh?

No, I'll be there, sir.

Danelle turned me down.
What?

What happened
to "fine, fine, fine"?

Well, I just said
all that because

I didn't want Florence
to think her advice
was crummy.

I did everything Florence
old me to do,
but I struck out.

Well, we learn a lesson
from every situation.

What we have learned here
is never take dating tips
from an old maid.

I feel terrible, sir.

Well, how do you like that?

My date for Saturday night
just called and canceled.

What? I didn't hear
a telephone ring.

Oh, I mean, I called him.

Long distance.

It cost me five bucks
to get a slap in the face!

I'd have slapped
you for free.

Now I ain't got nothing
to do on Saturday night.

Want to do some inventory?
No.

You know, I sure wish
I'd taken you up on
your invitation

when I had the chance.

Okay, I'll pick you up
at :.

Wait a minute, Clark.
What about the nice
young lady you already asked?

Oh, she won't mind.

I think she just accepted
'cause she felt sorry for me.

Oh, who would do
something like that?

And, uh, here's the invitation
if you want it
for your scrapbook.

Uh, wait a minute, Clark,

this is an order
for quarts
of liquid starch.

Oh, that's for my scrapbook.

Here.

I'll be here at :.
You'll be here?

I'll be here.

I'll be here.
See ya.

Boy, are you gonna look dumb
going to a prom
at that kid's high school.

I'm gonna look dumber
than you think.

That kid's high school
turns out to be
my old high school.

Oh, George, isn't it fun?

It seems like only yesterday
Florence started
working for us.

And now she's going
to her first prom.

Yeah, well, it was kind of fun
taking Clark down
to that tuxedo shop.

Did you pick out
something handsome?

Hah.

Handsome ain't the word, Weez.

That boy's gonna be a man
of charm, a man of taste.

Discreet elegance.

In other words,
just like me.

Come on in, Clark.
It's okay.

Look, lose the
pocket protector, it's tacky.

Yes, sir.

Hi, Mrs. Jefferson.

Oh, hello, Clark.

Why, you look quite handsome.

Uh, listen, you two chat.
I'm going
to check on Florence.

She may need help
with her dress.

Well, I guess
you gotta start somewhere.

Okay, Clark now, I want
you to arrive at this prom
in style.

So, I'm giving you the keys
to my best delivery van.

You mean...

That's right, the one
with the bell that goes
ding ding ding

when you back up.

Wow, this is starting out
to be the greatest night
of my life.

She's coming!
She's coming!

It's all downhill now, kid.

Wow. Florence,
you look super.

Here, this is for you.
Oh, thank you.

Oh.

Carnations with glitter.

George, get a picture of Clark
pinning this gorgeous corsage
on Florence.

Mmm-hmm. I'd better hurry up
while the flowers
are still alive.

Hey, check it out!

It's Clark the Shark
and his date.

Man, she looks like
she's been through the ringer.

Monk, cut it out.

What's the matter with you?

You wish you had come
with the Clark Bar

so you could pull up
in a dirty clothes truck, too?

Here, Florence.
Here's a penny.

Toss it in, make a wish.

It's too late.

What?

I mean, I've already
got my wish.

Geez, thanks.

So, what do you think?

What should we do?

Should we have
some refreshments first?
Or should we dance first?

There's no music.

Oh, that should affect
our decision somewhat.

Hey, Clark!

What's the matter?

Couldn't find a date,
so you had to bring
your mama?

Uh, Clark.
I could use that punch now.

I'll go get it for you.

Hey, Clark. Hey, man,
that's a nice looking tuxedo.

I see you decided to wear it
without the Venetian blinds.

Thanks, Monk.
No problem.

Hey, Danelle!
What's happening?

Oh, y'all look bad!
No, you look tough.

Don't we always?
You know it.

I feel the way y'all look.

Oh, hi! I'm Danelle,
this is Shauna
and this is Janay.

ALL: Hi.
I'm Florence.

Do you go here?

I did.

Oh, when?

Before.

When before?

Just before.

You know, like, did they play
The Jacksons at your prom?

Try The Ink Spots.

Ink spots?

I always presoak them
in tepid to cool water
with an ammonia base.

Hi, ladies.

TOGETHER: Bye, Clark!

Hi, Clark.

Hi, Danelle.

Hi, Florence.
Hi, Clark.

Darn. I should've
brought some more punch.

Here, Danelle,
you can have mine.

Hey, don't drink that.

You'll get Nerd Poisoning.

ANNOUNCER: Yow! Come on,
everybody on the dance floor.

Come on,
let's dance.

Florence, would you care
to boogie?

Does that still mean "dance"?

This is fun.

But then again,
there's such a thing
as too much fun.

Who's that man
in the brown suit?

The one staring at you?
Don't look!

The tenth grade
Civics Teacher.
His name is Mr. Harris.

Did he used to go here?

I think so.
About a million years ago.

Snicky!

What?
On second thought,
let's boogie after all.

GIRL: Oh, do it, Janay!
Hit it, Shauna!

Florence, we've been
dancing for two hours.

Florence!

Florence, I think
I'm gonna pass out.

Honey, when I'm dancing,
my feet have a mind
of their own.

But if yours are telling you
to sit down, go ahead.
That's okay.

Florence?
Florence Johnston?

Uh, there are lot of folks
named Florence Johnston.

Nobody could do
the stroll like she did.

Well, my Mama always said
the stroll would be
my downfall.

Well, goodbye.

Wait a minute. Uh...

Dimples Johnston.

Honey, don't you
recognize me?

I can't say that I do.
I'm Nicholas Harris.

They used
to call me "Snicky".

Snicky. Snicky Harris.

Sounds vaguely familiar.

Dimples,
what are you doing here?

Uh, well, see, I work
for this company.
They test prom dresses.

This one works fine.
Bye.

Wait.

Would you...

Will you dance with me?

I've already had several,
thank you.

Oh, come on girl.
One more won't hurt.
Come on.

I see your date's dancing
with old man Harris.

Wow. Her stockings are
all bagged up
around her ank...

She ain't wearing stockings!

If you expect me
to lower myself
to your standards,

you've got the wrong man.

Man?

You mean the wrong wimp!

I'm rubber, you're glue.

Whatever you say bounces
off of me and sticks on you.

Oh, yeah?
Yeah.

Stick this!

Wait a minute!
Somebody's trying
to b*at me up my date.

Go ahead,
but guess who's gonna pay
the doctor bills.

Your mama?

Listen, you take
your hands off him.

Keep your hands to yourself!

You hit me again,
you wish you're dead!

Pack it in, Monk.
Prom's over for you.

Yo, Mr. Harris,
what's happening?

We was just foolin' around.

"Fool" is the keyword.

Now move it.
Before you find
yourself suspended.

I'm going.

What are y'all staring at?

Come on, Danelle.
I don't wanna go.

ALL: Ooh.

Oh, shut up.

Then you gonna walk.

Uh-oh.

Wait, wait.

I mean, uh...

A prom is a once
in a lifetime experience

with memories that'll
last you for all eternity.

Maybe even longer.

And, besides,

I got the keys
to the delivery truck.

Well, you coming?

Wait a minute.
This is my prom.

Besides,

he's got the keys
to the delivery truck.

Yo, baby, I don't play that!
I do not play...

You ain't got
to get violent.

ANNOUNCER:
Everybody, everybody.

Remember this is
a prom not a prize fight.

So find your partner
and get back
on the dance floor.

Clark, you've got
a nosebleed.
Did he hit you?

No, no.
It's from the excitement.

Come on, Clark.
Let's go clean you up.

Can you imagine that Monk.

Trying to b*at up
a nice boy like Clark.

Flo, would you explain to me
why you're dating
a -year-old?

Well, he needed someone.

And, besides,
I never did get to go
to my prom.

You stayed home?

The boy I wanted
to go with
never did ask me.

That's funny.

I was too scared to ask
the girl I wanted to go with.

What?

Then this is
your first prom?

Nah.
I've been to dozens.

As a chaperone.

But this is the first time

I've been at the prom

with the girl
I always wanted to go with.

Oh.

Florence,

I don't know
how to tell you this.

I don't want to hurt
your feelings, because
I think you're great.

But would you be
too disappointed

if I didn't dance
the last dance with you?

Go on, I know how it is.

ANNOUCNER: Ladies
and gentlemen,

this is your last chance
to find that someone special

to dance that last dance.