01x01 - I Got a Girlfriend!

[bunniefuu]

Red.

The same color as her hair...

Darker than any

red hair I've ever seen...

Just like the color

running down my hand.

Long, beautiful crimson hair...

Just... like this.

Not today...

I will not let you die.

I gotta say, boobs

are the best thing ever.

Trust me, my man, you

and I are on the same page!

Me too...

But it's all pointless.

Matsuda...? Motohama?

Can you guys

tell me why the hell

we enrolled in

this school again?

Like you don't know...

We're in a place that

up until a few years ago

was nuthin' but chicks...

We had to take advantage

of this male to female ratio.

Also, the foreign exchange

students here are ridiculous.

Poon as far as

the eye could see!

We figured hos'd be linin'

up to get on our jocks,

and we wouldn't have

to do a damn thing!

We'd be drowning in that stank!

Like our very own harem!

Hell yeah! We were

gonna have casual,

unprotected sex with hot chicks

and then never call them again!

One, two! One, two! One, two!

That was the plan anyway.

But here we are,

up against the spring

semester of our second year,

and between the three of us, we

don't even have one girlfriend.

What's the point?

It'll never happen.

No, we can't give up now!

It's not too late for us!

Kiba, wait up...!

What are you doing right now?

Yeah... you maybe wanna

go sing karaoke with us?

Thanks...

But I've gotta

meeting with my club.

Aww...

That sucks.

I really do wish

I could go, though;

it's very cool of you

ladies to invite me.

Kiba Yuto. Class -C...

Basically every girl in this

school wants to sex him up.

And every guy wants

to mess him up!

That tool...!

I don't get it...

Just cause he's hot,

sexy, really smart,

and the coolest guy in school,

they all wanna rub up on Kiba?!

He sucks so much

less than we do.

Life really does blow sometimes.

Oh sh*t...

I'm gonna be late!

Huh...? Gonna be late for what?

Murayama's jugs.

They're frickin' huge!

... ... .

And Katase's

legs are crazy sexy!

... ... .

Found this yesterday.

I call it the 'tit hole.'

Good job, Matsuda!

I have to admit,

your scouting...

Guys, my turn...!

Come on, no fair!

Ooo, check that out!

She's so hot!

What was that?

Dude, run!

Can't believe those

two idiots left me here!

Guys!

Well, well, what a surprise.

No...

Wait.

Please... Don't hurt me.

Issei, you perv!

I still think attacking me

with bamboo swords

was a little extreme.

Did you at least

get to see some nip?

No, I didn't get

to see any nip...!

I was too busy getting

my ass handed to me

for looking through a tit hole

I didn't even get to look

through cause of you a-holes!

Did you guys see that honey...?

Her sugar has got to be sweet.

True that...

What is it about red hair...?

Her name's Rias Gremory.

... ... ...

She's President of the

Occult Research Club...

Word around the school is

she's from Northern Europe.

Who was that boy?

What boy?

The kid who was

sitting in the middle.

Well... I think

he's in Class -B...

If I remember right,

his name's Issei Hyodo...

Why, what makes

you ask about him?

Oh, nothing...

I just wondered if you knew

who he was, that's all...

Ah. Checkmate.

Your trap was very

easy to see through.

Sorry, I did my best

to make it harder on you.

Thanks.

I look forward to next time.

Being a teenager's the worst...

At this rate, jerking off

to p*rn is the closest

I'll ever get to 'doing it'

before I go off to college,

which means I'll be a

virgin forever and die alone.

Excuse me?

You're Issei Hyodo

from Kuo Academy, right?

Or am I wrong?

Yeah.

I don't recognize that uniform.

What school's she from...?

Who cares?! She's fine!

Hi! I uh--

Um...

Hey, if there's anything

I can help you with...

Sort of.

I just wanted to ask

you a quick question:

Are you seeing anyone right now?

Now? No...

That's wonderful!

It is?

Uh... In that case...

Since you're single...

Do you think you'd

like to go out with me?

Go out with you...? Um, I...

I've been watching...

You pass by here a lot

and you seem so...

I don't know...

Gentle...

And very handsome and I--

This cannot be

happening to me right now.

See...

The thing is--

I'd like for you

to be my boyfriend!

I...

Whoa!

Is this for real?!

Wake up, please, would

you please wake up now?

Or...

You could just stay in bed...

But...

I'm not going down on you.

Wake up, mister!

Wake up, mister!

Wake up, mister!

No... Please God...

But--

Guys, this is Yumo

Amano my girlfriend...

And these are my good buds

Matsuda and Motohama.

It's nice to meet you.

And here's the best part, dudes.

She... Asked... Me.

Hey... Stop whackin' it,

and you'll find one, too!

Come on... Let's go, Yuma!

Kay!

Dude... He betrayed us!

Go out?

Yeah...

Next Sunday afternoon...

Can you do it?!

Sure...!

That sounds great...!

I can do it anytime you want!

It's a date then...

Night.

Yeah... You too!

I really am happy

you're my boyfriend!

Ditto...

Bye, bye.

A date, a date!

This is bad ass!

I am so gonna see lady parts!

I am the man!

I see.

You were right,

one hundred percent.

Yeah, you totally called it.

I'm just glad I asked you two

to keep a close eye on him.

Yep.

What's next...?

What do we do with him now?

We need to make our

preparations immediately...

That's all we can do...

Everything else depends on him.

She should have gotten here

by now. Shouldn't she?

Here, take a flyer.

Oh goody, wonder

what this about?

'Your wish will be granted', eh?

Yeah right...

If only that were true.

Issei... Hey!

Oh, cool! You made it!

Sorry to keep you waiting.

No... Please.

I'm just glad you came.

I've always wanted

to say that to a chick!

Are you all right?

Take this!

I sure had fun today.

Yeah...

This was the best date ever!

Dude...

I think this is my

chance to make a move!

I'm touching her!

Can I ask you a question?

In honor of our first

date there's something

I'd like you to do... to

commemorate this special moment.

I'm gonna get to kiss her.

I'm totally gonna

get to kiss her.

This rocks!

Sure...

You can ask me

for anything at all.

Would you die for me?

What'd you say...?

Sorry...

Something must be

wrong with my ears;

I don't think

I heard you correctly.

Could you maybe say

that one more time please?

I want you to die for me.

Breasticles!

Those are boobs...

I am looking at boobs.

My little boy eyes have

finally grown into manhood!

And she's a super

hot chick too...!

What's that old saying?

'This is a sight

for sore eyes'...

This is totally a sight

for--wait, no it's not...

She looks like a demon.

Are those wings?

Well, I have to admit...

I did have some fun today...

Considering how naïve

and childish you are,

things could have

been much, much worse...

Thanks a lot for the gift too...

Very sweet...

But... even so.

Yuma, wait...

Please--

It's time to die.

I'm sorry.

But the fact is, you were

far too great a risk to us...

I had no choice

but to dispose of you.

If you're looking

for someone to blame,

why not blame Him?

He gave you the Sacred Gear.

What in the hell

is she talking about?

Oh... Thanks again

for the lovely date...

It was fun.

What a bitch.

Am I really about

to die like this?.

Alone and pathetic...

And a giant virgin...?

If you were gonna k*ll me...

Couldn't you have let me squeeze

your jiggle-y jugs first?

I only got to look at

them for a second...

But I could see how

bouncy they were...

Oh, Yuma...

Red.

The same color as her hair.

Darker than any red

hair I've ever seen...

Just like the color

running down my hand.

Long, beautiful crimson hair...

Just... like this.

Wait, why the crap am

I talking like this...?

I'm about to freakin' die.

It's over... Damn...

I can't even move anymore...

Trying to touch

a pair of orbs...

What a stupid way

for a person to die .

To be honest, I know

I've lived a shallow life...

Next time around I'm gonna try

real hard to be a better person.

The only thing

I can think about is Rias.

With her pretty red hair...

And huge kazongas...

If I'm going to die,

then why can't

I do it motor-boating

those glorious fun bags.

I have come...

You're the one who

summoned me, are you not?

Wh-Who is that?

Since death is upon you...

I will gladly take you in.

Whoa, she has wings too.

From this moment forward...

You will live your

life for my sake.

Wake up or

I shall k*ll you dead.

Wake up, bitch...

Or I'll chop off your balls.

I'm so tired...

Man...

This stupid thing...

Gives me the weirdest dreams.

Hold on.

Stop screwing with me, guys;

you seriously don't

remember meeting Yuma?

Naw dude name's

not ringin' any bells.

I'll say it again:

you never introduced us

to a chick and it's impossible

that you have a girlfriend.

But that doesn't

make any sense...

Her email address

is right here--

No way...

Yuma's contact

information's not in my phone.

What in the hell...?

Big boobies, twelve o'clock.

Rias?

She's so awesome!

Like, totally gorgeous!

Filing that image

away for later.

There's just

something about her,

she's like a naughty,

red-headed princess you know?

Hey, maybe you've been

watching too much p*rn

and it's making you cray-cray!

Look, I'm not crazy;

I know what happened, okay?!

Relax.

Just come by my place after

school today and we'll hang out

and watch my treasured

collection-Of DVD p*rn!

They're so gross.

Losers.

Anyway, I just got

a new disc called

'Double Ds and the

Nerds who love them'

That sounds awesome!

Didn't you say you also got the

latest Gentlemen's Disc release?

So weird...

Transform!

Ooo...! This is Momo's latest

video Kaben Rider Pinky!

Sure is...

I had to pull

some major strings.

Man, this is so weird...

How could it have been a dream

when the memories feel so real,

like they just

happened yesterday?

Plus, if it never happened,

where did my memories

of the real two days go?

Yo!

What the hell's wrong

with you, Issei...?

You are a Momozono

Momo fan, aren't you?!

Uh.

Heeeey, uhh...

Let's turn off the lights,

it's way too bright in

here, I can't concentrate!

Yeah, that's way better!

I know!

Dude, look at that mount!

Guys, the lights are still on.

Wait.

What'd you just say?

The lights in the room,

I thought you were

gonna turn 'em off.

Huh?

What are you talking

about, broseph?!

No, I'm wrong...

They are off.

I don't see any light...

But I know I sense it...

I do.

Sorry.

I'm going home.

Hey!

What's wrong, are you all right?

I'm not nuts...

My eyes are freaking out on me.

This is weird...

I feel so different...

Like there's something

inside me that's changing.

No, Mommy, buy it!

If you don't stop acting like a

spoiled brat, you're grounded!

No! No!

It doesn't make sense,

how can I hear them

from so far away?!

What's happening to me...?

Why is my body doing this?!

I've been here before.

Yes...

This is it.

This is the park

where I took Yuma

when we went on our first date.

It was real...

It couldn't have been a dream...

I remember every

single thing about it.

What the hell was that?

Well, this really

is unfortunate.

Me running into you, that is...

Oh man...

Why won't my body stop shaking?

I meant to back up

a little, not jump!

Looking for a way out?

I don't understand

what's happening to me?!

Feathers?

Yuma?!

Such cowardice.

I can't abide

lower-class beings.

No...

How can this be real!

So let's see...

It appears as

though your friends

and master are

nowhere to be found...

You show no signs

of disappearing,

nor are any magic

circles being deployed...

Therefore I will assume

that you are nothing

but a 'stray,' is that correct?

And that would mean...

k*lling you won't be a problem!

If I'm gonna die in a dream,

I'd rather be k*lled by

a hot chick than a dude!

Not cool!

Man, this blows...!

Big time...!

This is the worst

pain I've ever felt!.

It didn't hurt near this bad

when Yuma m*rder*d

me in my last dream.

Hurts, doesn't it...?

Light is a deadly

poison to your kind;

it burns you from within...

I thought I'd finished you off,

but it seems you're

quite the tough one.

Don't worry though...

I'll put you out of

your misery shortly.

I'm done for...

Someone...

Help me, please!

What did you just do,

you little sh*t...?!

and what the hell is that?

Keep your hands off of him.

That red hair.

Did...

Rias... come to save me.

I'll teach you not to meddle

where you don't belong.

I'm done with you!

That hair...

You're from the

house of Gremory.

My name's Rias Gremory...

And who are you...

...other than a fallen angel?

Well, well, who knew...?

This town is currently

under the control

of the next head of

the great Gremory Family.

So he's a part of your

household, I take it.

If you bring any harm to him,

you will get no mercy from me.

I apologize for the

misunderstanding.

Though it's unwise to let your

servants run loose like this...

The next time he's

out for a stroll,

he might run into someone

less cordial than myself.

I appreciate the

friendly advice...

Bear in mind, if anything

like this happens again...

I'll make you regret

the day you crossed paths

with the house of

Gremory, my friend.

No offense to your noble

household, but you should

bear in mind that the same

thing could be said to you.

My name is Dohnaseek.

I pray that you and

I never again cross paths.

That was a close call...

I can't believe he actually

ran into a fallen one!

If we don't do

something, he'll die.

That won't happen.

He'll live...

I'll see to that myself.

Master, wake up, won't you...

Master, wake up, won't you.

Master, wake up,

won't you please.

So tired...

That was the

weirdest dream yet...

Why does this keep

happening every night?

Hold on a sec, what happened

to all my clothes...?

Why the hell am I naked?

No way...

No way!

This is awesome!

Issei?

Hey.

Whoa, I can see your tits!

Good morning.

Uh, what are you

doing in my bed...?

Is this really happening?

Cause this feels like

it could be a p*rn,

or some kind of a wet dream.

No, this is real.

And so is everything

else you've experienced,

as a matter of fact.

My name is Rias Gremory...

And I'm a devil.

A devil?

Not only that, but

I'm your Master, too...

You're mine now...

Nice to meet you, Issei Hyodo.

Close your eyes and think

of the part of your body

you feel is strongest.

Then focus on it.

I'm gonna have a harem!

They'll be naked all the time!

I rule!

But...

I will say it kinda

feels as though

I've adopted a little brother.