04x06 - The School Trip is in Pandemonium

[bunniefuu]

[ISSEI]

Summon... Tig ole Bitties!

[ISSEI gasps]

Whoa. Rias?

[gasps]

Uh, what's going on?

Whoa. Hold on.

Where am I?

Did you summon me...

..to Kyoto?

Give 'em a poke.

[ISSEI gasps]

[ELSHA]

Poke those pillows. Do it.

[gasps]

♪

[ISSEI] Wait. Like in front

of all these people?

[ELSHA]

Yes, poke them...

...like you've

never poked before.

You know, "Boop!"

[ISSEI]

I've never said "Boop!"

So why the hell

would I start now?

[ELSHA]

Rias Gremory's nips are crucial.

They're a switch, so to speak.

[ISSEI]

Sorry, you lost me after "nips."

[ELSHA]

Specifically, they're the switch

to unlock your potential.

[ISSEI] Wait, are you saying

those sweet little saucers

are like cheat code buttons

that'll activate my

ultimate God Mode?

[ELSHA]

Crude, but yes, that's the gist.

[ISSEI gasps]

[RIAS]

Uh, why am I glowing?

[ELSHA] Now that her boobs

have come into contact

with your potential,

they have evolved.

They're ready for you.

[ISSEI gasps] That's the most

beautiful thing I've ever heard.

[ELSHA]

If you jab those jugs,

it'll cause dramatic

changes within you.

[ISSEI] It'll cause dramatic

changes in my pants.

[moans]

[ISSEI gasps]

Okay, then.

I think I finally understand

what needs to be done.

Here goes!

Issei?

So hey, mind if I

poke your bazongas?

[gasps]

[laughs]

[gasps]

Huh. Of all the things

to say right now.

But, for you, I guess it

makes sense. Go ahead.

All right!

[ISSEI giggles]

[RIAS grunts]

Are you ready to

do this, Ddraig?

[DDRAIG weeping]

Jeez calm down, baby.

Boop time!

[gasps]

You're welcome?

[RIAS gasping continues]

Okay, sure. Makes sense.

[ISSEI]

Uhh...

[gasps]

[ELSHA]

This is it! Get ready!

[ISSEI] I've never felt such

a hardcore power level before!

[ISSEI gasping]

But, somehow, it feels familiar.

[DDRAIG]

Yes. It's magnificent, isn't it?

This power brings back

strong memories.

This energy, it feels

like my original aura,

back when I still

had my old body,

when I wanted to win

against the White Dragon!

[gasps]

Huh?

Congratulations, the door to

your potential has been opened.

Thanks, Elsha.

It's all because of you.

You convinced me to embrace

my identity as a total perv.

Loving boobs really pays off.

You're very welcome.

And now, having unlocked

your potential,

it's time for us to go.

This is goodbye, Issei.

Goodbye? You mean like forever?

Indeed. The remnants of

our feelings kept us here.

But there's no longer

a reason for us to stay.

We can finally be free.

No, wait! What about all

the good times we've had?

Look, it's not you, it's me.

I'm just not a boob person.

That's more your specialty.

You're the only guy I know

that uses tatas to power up.

You'll be perfectly fine.

Besides, you've got Ddraig

and your friends to help you.

Now, why don't you

go raise some hell?

[ISSEI gasps]

Elsha. I--

I know, what if Belzard

were to give you

a few words of advice

before we leave you?

Whoa... You're Belzard?

Grabbin' Dragon.

Tail a-waggin'.

Likes boobs "A" to triple "G."

[gasps]

[chuckles]

Yes, very well said, Belzard.

Now then, we should

probably get going.

[gasps]

That wasn't well said!

He didn't actually say anything!

Those are just lyrics from the

stupid "Grabbin' Dragon" song!

Fine, whatever. I'm outta here.

Okay, asswipes, feel the

wrath of my perv power!

Let's do this! Boosted Gear!

[ISSEI]

This energy's mind-blowing!

Like it's coming at me

from every direction:

the bottom, the inside,

and the Sacred Gear!

Damn, Ddraig, you've got

some serious power, bra!

[DDRAIG]

Yes, it's been a while

since I've been able

to fully access all of it.

[ISSEI]

I get it. The Juggernaut Drive

was an uncontrolled

release of this power,

but thanks to Elsha, I can

finally tap into it on my own!

Oh, great. What's this?

It's potential!

It's mine and Ddraig's, too.

It's the potential

of our future together!

Mode Change:

Welsh Blaster Bishop!

[CAO CAO grunts]

[ISSEI]

Get ready, gutter sluts!

You're gonna pay for what

you did to my friends!

[DDRAIG]

Boost! Boost! Boost!

[ISSEI]

You made me feel weak,

like there was

nothing I could do,

but now I'm gonna make

you eat those feelings

like a teen doing the

Tide POD challenge!

[ISSEI]

Take this! Dragon Blaster!

Aw, hell yeah!

[CAO CAO]

Move!

[grunts]

[HERACLES]

No way.

[SIEGFRIED]

His power's incredible.

He even warped the dimension.

[ISSEI]

I'm just getting started.

[ISSEI]

Cao Cao!

Mode Change:

Welsh Sonic Boost Knight!

--And now, Armor Purge!

--[DDRAIG] Boost! Boost! Boost!

Boost! Boost! Boost!

Boost! Boost! Boost!

[CAO CAO grunts]

[coughs]

[ISSEI] Mode Change:

Welsh Draconic Rook!

[CAO CAO grunts]

[gasps]

[ISSEI]

Come on, Ddraig!

Let's show this taint goblin

what happens when

you decide to mess

with the Grabbin' Dragon!

[ISSEI]

Later, doucher!

[ISSEi grunts, pants]

[ISSEI]

Damn, Ddraig, we are savage!

[DDRAIG]

Indeed.

The power released as

the Red Dragon Emperor,

along with the Evil

Piece inside you,

allows you to promote

yourself without a King.

[ISSEI] Yeah, but it's

a huge ass power drain.

At this rate,

I'll only be able to

maintain the armor

a little bit longer.

[ISSEI gasps]

Well, you certainly

pulled that trick

out of your hat

at the last minute.

I probably would have d*ed

if it weren't for this spear.

However, that little stunt

looked like an Illegal Move.

[ISSEI laughs]

Just like your mom.

Yes, that's very mature.

Actually, it's a

well-known chess term.

An Illegal Move means

an unacceptable play,

and I say that because

all of your att*cks

deviate from the

Evil Piece system.

[DDRAIG] I personally felt

like it was more of a Triaina.

[ISSEI]

Whatty what now?

[DDRAIG] Triaina.

It's the three-pronged trident

that was used by the

Greek god Poseidon.

The transformations

you just used

also came in a set of threes

and displayed the same

power of the god's trident.

[ISSEI] Yeah, that sounds

pretty bitchin'.

From this day forward,

that play shall be known as

"Illegal Move Triaina"!

[CAO CAO]

Congratulations.

However, it looks

like you're low on juice.

[ISSEI] What a tool. Last time

we caught him off-guard,

but now the dude's

gonna be watching us.

What's wrong, Cao Cao?

Why don't you come open

this can of whoop ass?

Well, I would, but there's

not much to open.

Besides, it looks

like we're out of time.

[ISSEI]

That's not good.

It seems our guest

has finally arrived.

Hey, Georg!

Be a dear and prepare to

summon the Dragon Eater.

[gasps]

Wait, this isn't right!

This chi. It's the

Mischievous Dragon, Yu-Long!

[ISSEI] Yu-Long? Isn't that

one of the five dragon kings?

[SUN WUKONG]

Geronimo! Ho-ho!

If it isn't the young

spear-wielding whipper snapper!

[CAO CAO]

Oh, and if it isn't

the Great Victorious

Fighting Buddha.

Pray tell, to what

do I owe this pleasure?

Don't play dumb, you know why

I'm here you little sh*t-stain.

This prank of yours

has gone too far,

and while some heroes

rise up to become deities,

others end up

becoming the poison

that gives everyone

else a bad name.

Did that answer your question

or should I use smaller words?

Well, sonny?

"Poison"? I see. If you're

the one labeling me as poison,

then I think I'll take

that as a compliment.

[SUN WUKONG]

Hm! Leave the rest to me.

I'm the first-generation

Sun Wukong.

[ISSEI] Whoa! No sh*t?

That's super awesome!

Ya did real good, kiddo.

I'll handle things from here.

Yu-long, take care

of the fox broad!

[YU-LONG]

Got it.

Hey. Not to rain

on your parade,

but it looks like Vritra

b*at us to the punch.

[SUN WUKONG] Not yet,

he hasn't. Go lend him a claw.

After this,

you can gorge yourself

with the best Kyoto

cuisine around.

[YU-LONG]

No take backsies!

Ah...

All right, all right, all right!

Dragon King, coming in hot!

[SUN WUKONG] Well, then,

back to these turd sandwiches.

Fool!

Extend Staff!

[SIEGFIRED grunts, screams]

[JEANNE gasps]

Your back wasn't even in it.

Maybe you need

some more training.

[grunts]

[SUN WUKONG]

Oh, heavenly path, hear me!

come down with

a clap of thunder

through the jaws of a dragon.

Lay upon the land.

--[gasps]

--[YASAKA growls]

Well, would ya look at that?

The dragons are almost

done over there.

Without that four-eyes' spell,

the fox is running

on empty. Huh?

[chuckles]

Oh dear.

You seem to have

given me a teensy prick,

but then again you know

all about those, don't you?

I'm glad to see you're as

healthy and disgusting as ever.

[SIEGFRIED]

Cao Cao, we should retreat!

Yes, I suppose.

[ISSEI grunts]

[CAO CAO] Sorry to leave

the party so early.

[ISSEI]

Oh no, you don't!

Just one att*ck.

I just want one att*ck

to reach that goocher!

Technically, I'm supposed

to be doling out

the punishments,

but give it a sh*t.

[ISSEI]

Suck on this!

Turn, dammit!

[CAO CAO grunts]

[ISSEI]

Yes!

[both gasp]

[grunts]

Dragon Emperor!

That's it!

Spear! Holy spear that

can even pierce the gods.

The ideals of the king

of domination that--

Cao Cao, don't!

This is not the time

to show Truth Idea.

Besides, we still

need to get Leonardo.

Yes, I'm aware.

Red Dragon Emperor!

Or should I say,

Issei Hyodo.

You had better get stronger.

Stronger than Vali.

When you do that,

then I'll show you

the true power

of my Longinus.

Oh, Mother. Please wake up.

Hey, kid, don't you have

the special ability

to talk to a woman's

Humpty Dumplings?

Uh, yeah.

You mean Boobielingual?

[SUN WUKONG]

I think I've got an idea.

I'll help you, but see

if you can use that spell

on the little lady

and the mama fox youkai

at the same time.

[ISSEI sighs]

I'll give it a sh*t.

Boobielingual!

Okay then, munchkin.

See if you can get

through to your mother.

[KUNOU] Mother? It's me.

I'm here with you.

Please turn back

to normal, I beg of you!

I'll never ask you for

anything again, I promise.

So... please...

...please change back to

the mother I know and love.

[YASAKA]

My... daughter.

[KUNOU]

Mother! Yes, it's me!

You have to come back!

I've missed you terribly,

and I've been so worried!

Please, all I want is for us

to walk the streets

of Kyoto. I'll do anything!

[KUNOU gasps]

She did it!

Am I...?

[KUNOU]

You're back!

[sobs]

Mother's here now.

You know, a princess

shouldn't cry so much.

[sobbing continues]

[YASAKA]

Sir Azazel, Red Dragon Emperor,

as well as all of the

Gremory Family.

Words cannot express how

grateful we are to you.

We're in your debt.

After your departure,

I have arranged to meet

with both the Great Victorious

Fighting Buddha Sun Wukong

and Lady Leviathan.

It is my sincerest wish

to cooperate with everyone,

so that Kyoto will never

again be in a situation

such as the one we found

ourselves in last night.

I'm right there with you.

We'll all do our best.

[giggles] The fox youkai

have offered to show me

around Kyoto a bit more before

we have our meeting later.

But I hope that the rest of

you have a safe trip back.

After all, the trip

doesn't end...

...until everyone's home.

[KUNOU]

Red Dragon Emperor!

You can just call me Issei.

Uh... okay, Issei.

Will you come and visit

us in Kyoto again?

Yeah. I'd love to.

I'm so excited!

And next time you can

try Mother's boiled tofu!

Yep!

[P.A MAN] Nozomi ,

outbound to Tokyo...

Thanks for seeing us off!

Next time we'll bring everyone!

[KUNOU]

Goodbye!

Thank you again for

everything you've done for us!

I won't forget it!

Promise me you'll

come back soon, okay!

Fo sho! See ya later, Kunou!

Stay outta trouble!

[gasps]

[chuckles]

Ah! Son of a bitch!

[ASIA] What? Is something

the matter, Issei?

I forgot to ask

Yasaka to show me

her foxy footballs

for saving her!

Oh, cruel world, how could

you do this to me?

Damn, that mofo's trippin'

like nobody's business!

Ya know, I bet it's

because we never

got to have our p*rn party!

[KIRYUU grunts]

[KIRYUU] All right, fap-masters,

sit down before I report you!

Gah, you're a bunch

of depraved dill-holes.

You should have told us

what happened, Issei!

Uh, yeah.

And you said that you were going

to contact us after Kinkakuji,

but we never heard

back from you.

That's right.

Thanks for nothing, loser.

[GASPER]

Well, what really matters

is that everyone got

home safe and sound.

[AZAZEL]

Plus, you can't blame the kid,

he had his hands full

with a new woman.

I guess you could

say she was a real fox.

[ISSEI] Hey, shut it, Azazel!

And if that was supposed to be

a clever pun, it sucked balls!

Know what? I imagine

that the little fox princess

may very well inherit

her mother's good looks,

as well as few other assets.

What the eff, Azazel?

Gross, dude.

Besides, I prefer her mom's

ample motorboating material.

[groans]

What'd I say?

You know, cockmuppet.

Besides, Issei finally managed

to unlock his

potential in Kyoto,

so cut him some slack.

Well, I suppose that's

a good development.

Then again, he did

poke my boobs.

[ISSEI] About that! Sorry for

summoning you in your skivvies!

But thanks for letting me

jab your jawbreakers!

[sighs]

Anyway. Thanks to Issei

we had to follow up

on all the molesters.

But at least now the school

trip is finally over.

[gags]

[AZAZEL] And next up

is the school festival.

By the way, I've got some news

about the daughter

of the Phoenix family.

She'll be transferring

to your school soon.

You mean Ravel? For real?

That's right. Apparently,

she was pretty impressed

by Rias and Sitri and decided

she wants to study in Japan.

She's a first-year student,

kind of like Koneko, I believe.

She can suck it.

It feels kind of sudden,

though. Wonder why.

Well, things are rough

for everyone, y'know?

Moving along.

I'm happy nobody d*ed

and that you all had

a good time in Kyoto,

but now we've got

the Rating Game

with Sairaorg to worry about.

There're still a

lot of preparations

that need to be made.

[GROUP]

Right!

[ISSEI] Oh yeah.

The upcoming Rating Game.

I'll get to face off

against Sairaorg again.

And this time I'll win!

[grunting]

[SEIGVAIRA]

Sairaorg, have you heard?

[SAIRAORG]

Huh?

There's a rumor that

the Red Dragon Emperor

of the Gremory

household has obtained

a special new ability.

[SAIRAORG]

That sounds pretty interesting.

[SEIGVAIRA] They say that

he fought against the leader

of the Hero Faction,

against the possessor

of the True Longinus

and survived.

No surprise. After all,

dying would only break

his promise to me.

Right. Bring it on,

Issei Hyodo!

♪

[ISSEI] "We're preparing

for the school festival!"