Into the Abyss (2011)

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Into the Abyss (2011)

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- Reverend,

you're on duty today.

Can you think...

just think about the man

whom you are going to encounter

in an hour from now,

less than an hour from now.

- I really am going there

without any expectations.

I'm going there to experience

what God has prepared for me,

for him,

for all of those involved,

and I don't

preconceive anything.

Not today.

I will let that happen

as it occurs,

as time gets there.

We have a loving, caring,

forgiving, merciful God,

and in time of joy

and in time of need,

in time of trial

or tribulation,

God is always there for us.

I want to make

that presence to them.

- And technically when he is

led to the gurney,

what is your duty then?

- After everything

is completed,

as far as the preparation,

then I walk over, and I stand

as he has allowed me to stand.

I always ask permission

to be able to stand at his feet

and hold his ankle,

and I move toward

that position,

and I place my hand

on his ankle,

and then that's what...

what I do

until death occurs.

- And if there is

no family interested

in taking care of the body,

the condemned men would end up

right behind you?

- Yes, they end up here

at the state cemetery,

and they're buried

by the state.

No names on the crosses,

only numbers.

- Why does God allow

capital punishment?

- I don't know the answer.

I believe that

there's always a purpose

why God allows

things to happen.

God has created so many things

in this world.

I play golf sometimes.

I love to be on

the golf course,

because one thing I do,

I put my phone on a silent mode.

I go out there sometimes

by myself with no distractions,

and I can see

the beautiful grass.

I can see the squirrels,

from time to time, running.

Sometimes the deer are running.

Sometimes I look across

the golf course,

and I see a cow or a horse,

and... and I... and I stop,

and I acknowledge life.

Life,

the things

that God has created.

- Please describe

an encounter with a squirrel.

- An encounter with a squirrel,

I was driving the golf cart,

and I was on the golf...

on the cart path,

and I saw two squirrels.

They were chasing each other,

and as I was getting closer,

they were running across

the cart path,

and I put on my brakes,

and they stopped in

the middle of the cart path

and looked at me,

and I said, "How about this?"

"If I wouldn't have stopped,

"I could have run over

one of these squirrels.

Their life would have ended."

And that reminds me...

of the many people

that I have been with

in their last breath of life,

and due to bad choices and

mistakes in their life, they...

their life is taken away

in that moment.

So life is precious,

whether it's a squirrel

or a human being.

So I will sometimes meditate

on that experience.

Make a little noise,

and the squirrels will take off

and continue their life,

but I cannot do that.

For someone on the gurney,

I cannot stop the process

for them.

But I wish I could.

- Good, yeah.

You are not wired yet,

so we have to wire you first.

Michael Perry,

now from all of us,

the whole team here,

we would like to offer

our condolences.

Your father passed away.

- Right, on the 10th.

My dad died 13 days ago.

- 13 days ago.

- Yeah, on June 10th.

- But you will die or you are

scheduled for execution...

- Right.

- In only eight days.

- Yes, sir.

- How are you doing?

- You know... you know,

I'm a Christian, so, you know,

I believe that, you know,

paradise awaits

one way or the other,

so I tell people all the time,

I'm either going home

or home, so...

I'm either going home

to the world or home to God,

so I... you know,

as the days get closer,

I can feel the pressure

on my shoulders.

They call it clinical depression

where I just start having

less motivation to do things,

less energy.

You get frustrated at the...

at the system.

How can they not see, you know,

my situation is wrong?

You know, I... I used to

write all the time

and have a lot of energy,

and I just don't

have it any more.

I just feel like

I've been beaten down.

- I have the feeling

that destiny, in a way,

has dealt you

a very bad deck of cards.

It does not exonerate you,

and... and when I talk to you,

it does not necessarily mean

that I have to like you,

but I respect you,

and you are a human being,

and I think human beings

should not be ex*cuted.

- Mm-hmm.

- As simply as that.

- Right.

- Lieutenant, this looks

idyllic and safe.

- Well, and you would

think that.

This is a gated community,

obviously.

The houses that are out here

are very large houses,

very expensive houses,

and you would think

that this is...

this is a very quiet area,

and you would, I guess,

associate that with security.

But this house right here

is actually the house

where Sandra Stotler

was m*rder*d.

This is where Michael Perry

and Jason Burkett

parked out on the street

and went in and...

and m*rder*d her.

At the time that we found her,

she was actually

baking cookies,

and there was evidence of that.

There was... there was

cookies out.

There was cookie dough out.

So she was in the process

of that when she was k*lled.

- But apparently

the first plan was not m*rder.

- Well, and that was something

that we were told,

that initially the...

the boys were all...

when I say "boys,"

Michael Perry, Jason Burkett,

Adam Stotler,

and Jeremy Richardson...

they were acquaintances

through, you know,

some mutual friends.

They weren't

really friends themselves,

but they... they were

acquaintances,

and what we were told was...

is that they came here

with the intention

of trying to get Adam Stotler

to allow them to stay the night

by telling them they didn't have

a place to stay,

and they were going to try

to get the keys to the car

and steal it.

That's what they were after,

was the red Camaro

that was in the garage.

Upon going to the door

and talking to the mother,

and she said that they were out,

the boys were out,

and so they left,

and that's when

their plan changed,

that they were just going to

k*ll her and take the car.

So they went back up

to the door,

and the garage was open,

and the door going into

the house was open.

Michael Perry,

by his own admission,

entered that garage door

and went into the laundry room

at the time that Jason Burkett

knocked on the front door.

And as their truck

was out here,

he told them

that the truck wouldn't start

and they needed to call someone

to come and assist them.

So she let him in the house

to use the telephone,

and while he was doing that,

Michael Perry stepped

out of the laundry room

and knocked on

the back garage door,

which made her come

and answer it,

and he stepped out from the

laundry room from behind her,

and that's when he shot her.

The actual garage door itself

was open

when our deputies

arrived on the scene.

The master bedroom,

which is in the back part

of the house

behind the garage over here,

they went in,

and they took the top bedding,

the blanket and the...

the top sheet,

and that's what they

wrapped her in.

They brought her out,

put her in the truck,

and they drove her out

to Crater Lake

to dispose of her body.

- And how does it happen?

Was it dr*gs?

- You know, I don't know

that there was ever

any direct evidence

as far as, you know,

dr*gs relating particularly

to this case.

I mean, honestly, it was just...

you know, they had a car.

You know, this lady owned a car

that they wanted,

so, you know, it was...

unfortunately, you know,

people died for a theft.

Other than it being dark,

this is pretty much

the way it was

that night

when we came out here.

You'll see all kinds of debris

and trash here, as I said.

This is... was pretty commonly

used for a dumping ground.

They've pulled lots of vehicles

out of... out of Crater Lake.

We've had, actually,

a few other bodies

that we've... that we've gotten

out of Crater Lake.

This is Crater Lake here.

This little area right here,

this is where the tire treads

in the dirt was actually here.

At the time that they first

came down here,

they actually backed up to that

and tried to slam

on their brakes,

hoping to eject the body

in the water,

and that didn't work,

so, again,

that was just something that...

that we heard.

I don't know that that's

actually what happened,

but you could tell from...

there wasn't any distinct

tire wear in the ground.

You could just tell

that a tire...

tires had been

spinning there, so...

So it seemed to fit the story,

but they ended up

getting the body

and... and carrying it out here,

and it was just dropped

in the water.

We didn't know when we

processed the scene here

and when we processed

Sandra Stotler's residence,

we still did not know

that we had any other victims

other than her.

This is the gated community

of Highland Ranch.

Inside those gates is the house

where Sandra Stotler

was m*rder*d.

When Michael Perry

and Jason Burkett came back here

to get the Camaro

that they were after,

these gates were...

were shut and locked,

so they didn't have access

to it,

so they waited around

and parked

until Adam Stotler and

Jeremy Richardson returned home,

and that's when they got them to

come out in the woods with them

and... and m*rder*d them

so that they could get

basically the clicker

to come back and get access in...

you know, into this gate

so that they could go back

to the house

and take the Camaro.

- So only because they

didn't have the code here

and it was closed at night,

two more young people

had to die.

- Yes, sir.

That's correct.

- Lieutenant, Jason Burkett

and Michael Perry

bragged about

what they had done.

How clear evidence was that?

- Well, because it came

from multiple people.

It wasn't just one.

We got reports

from several people

from the different hangouts

that they had said

that they had k*lled people.

That's how they got

the vehicles.

It was pretty convincing.

I mean, we believed it.

Although, again, we...

we didn't have evidence

that we had other bodies

at the time.

- Only after Perry confessed,

he pointed you to the location

of the two young boys.

- Yes, sir.

- As soon as I found out

my mother...

her body had been found,

that whole week is just a blur.

I was watching the news.

It was Monday morning,

and I saw helicopters flying

over Ronny's truck stop here.

Well, we live a mile,

and I had a glimmer of hope.

I said, "Adam got away.

He's found his way home."

Because that's the exit you'd

get off to come to my house.

So I told my husband.

I said, "Get in the car.

We're going down there."

'Cause they showed

the crime scene,

the helicopters.

My brother's car

was there on the news.

So we went up

to Ronny's truck stop,

and I saw all that stuff

on the car,

and I'm like,

"oh, that's not Adam's car.

He doesn't have all that stuff

on there."

- "Stuff" meaning?

- The stickers and the...

- "Gauge," "A.B."?

- Yeah, I saw all that stuff.

I was like,

"oh, that's not his car."

You know, and then I looked at

the license plate.

The car was riddled

with b*ll*ts,

and they had just

chased them down

and caught them at

the apartment complex,

and I was kind of

trailing behind them,

and they left to go

to the hospital,

and they told me...

I was like, "Please tell me,"

because Adam had been missing

now since Wednesday,

and it was now Monday,

and I said,

"Please tell me,

was Adam with them?"

And they said, "Adam got shot",

and they took him

to the hospital."

Now, Michael Perry

is still saying he's Adam.

He got out of jail.

He bonded out of jail.

- Perry just had his ID.

You believed...

- I believed he was alive.

- Your brother was safe,

only wounded,

because you were told

Adam was safe...

- Was shot.

- And shot but in hospital.

- And I... you know,

I was like...

Thank God.

So I started calling

the hospitals

trying to figure out

which hospital he was at,

and I described him,

and she's like...

I finally got a nurse

who would talk to me,

and she's like, "That's not

the kid that's here, ma'am."

- But you had hopes, I mean,

substantial hopes

that your brother Adam

was wounded but safe.

- Yes.

- Alive.

- Yeah.

- And all of a sudden...

- My world was ripped out

from underneath me.

Everyone was gone.

I called Lieutenant Davidson,

and he told me to come down

to the police station,

and I told him,

"I'm watching you on TV

right now.

Just tell me

if that's Adam."

And he said,

"I really would like you

to come down

to the station."

And I said, "Just tell me."

And he said,

"Yeah, it's Adam."

He said, "It's Adam,"

and my knees gave out,

and I never knew that your knees

really went weak, you know,

but that saying is true,

"Weak in the knees."

My knees went weak,

and I fell to the floor.

- This is Lindsey Lane.

This is where we were directed

on this road

by Michael Perry

in his confession

that we would find

two additional bodies

of Adam Stotler

and Jeremy Richardson.

We came down this road,

and then we split up.

We went to the end of the road,

and we actually walked

back this way

and discovered Adam's body.

They lured them into this area

by telling them that there was

a mutual friend of theirs

that had gotten hurt

while they were hunting.

This house obviously

was not here at the time.

You can see,

as this is coming out,

how it's coming around,

so it's gonna be

somewhere about...

somewhere in that concrete

is gonna be

about where his body

was discovered.

Once we actually

processed the scene

and we moved the body,

once we moved the body,

there was a cigarette butt

under it, which we collected,

and there was also another

cigarette butt close by,

but the one that was

under his body,

once we submitted it

to the state lab for DNA,

it had Michael Perry's DNA

on it.

- Which means the body

had fallen...

- Had fallen on the cigarette

after it was already discarded

on the ground.

The other body

was Jeremy Richardson.

From where we actually

found his body,

it was so dense with trees,

we couldn't even get into it.

I don't know

how he got into it.

We couldn't hardly even get into

it without taking machetes

and... and cutting back

some of the brush.

Jeremy, he ran

for some distance

while he was being shot at.

I don't know if it was 'cause

he heard the g*nshots here

and got startled,

or if Jason pointed

the shotgun at him,

and he realized it

before he was actually shot,

and he took off running.

- Charles, you lost

your brother, Jeremy.

Do you remember the moment

when you heard about it?

- I was in Georgia,

and I got a phone call

from my aunt

saying for me to call home.

Something bad had happened.

I tried to call.

I didn't have no money

at the time,

and my phone wouldn't let me

call long distance,

so I tried to call collect,

and my grandpa hung up on me.

He didn't want to...

he didn't even want to pay

$2 to talk to me

to tell me my brother was dead.

I had to actually

get my aunt to call

and find out what was going on,

and then she called me back,

and my first thought was...

just because on the phone

she says,

"Do you know Jason Burkett?"

I said, "Yeah."

She said,

"Well, something's happened,

and your brother's dead,"

and, uh...

My... my first thought was,

you know,

Jason was just driving,

being stupid

the way he normally was

and had wrecked,

and then she told me no,

that Jason shot my brother

over a car.

I... I just fell out.

I fell out.

My uncle came

and picked me up, and, uh...

We just went driving around.

- And your father?

Where was he?

- He was in prison.

- How serious?

- Well, it was the first time

he was in jail for m*rder,

in prison for m*rder.

- Life sentence?

- Well, no.

He... he was doing

his 15 year sentence first,

and then he was out

for about a year,

and then he went

and got a life sentence,

and he's just getting out

after that.

- And you flew in

for the funeral?

- Yeah, I flew in

for the funeral.

The cops said I had jumped bond,

and the cops were there to...

to take me to jail

over my brother's...

Can I tell 'em

what it was for or...

I mean, would it be okay

to tell 'em,

you know, it was

a drug possession?

- So you took the jail time

for your brother,

and you were arrested?

- Yeah, at the funeral.

The cops came in there.

There was six cops came in

and identified me

and told me they were gonna

take me to jail right then.

I asked them, you know,

could I at least stay

for my brother's funeral.

- And the teardrops,

the tattoos,

what do they signify?

- I lost my...

my brother and my sister.

- Brother m*rder*d.

Your sister,

what happened to her?

- She was coming to my house,

and she crossed the freeway,

and she got ran over by a car.

- Tell me about

your brother Jeremy.

Can you show us?

- Jeremy was... he was...

he was just the golden child.

He was a good kid,

trusted his friends.

He would get in trouble just...

just to...

to have that attention,

but he wouldn't

do nothing serious.

He would... he would never

do anything too serious.

He got in trouble for

making people laugh, you know,

talking during class, you know,

stuff like that.

He was a very sociable person.

Everybody loved him, and, uh...

Everybody said that

I was the one

that was supposed to be dead

before I was 21 and not Jeremy.

- And you loved him.

- Of course.

He was my...

he was my best friend.

He was my best friend

growing up.

He's all I had.

- You took care of him.

- I tried.

Turns out the only thing

I did was hurt him.

I introduced him to the people

that k*lled him.

He'd tell me all the time,

it was me and him

against the world.

I tell my wife

the same thing now.

It's just me and him

against the world.

- I believe from the time

that we got the initial call

until they were caught,

it was within a week.

It was, I believe,

five to seven days.

- And you arrived at the scene

where they were apprehended?

- Yes, sir.

- Can you describe?

Was it mayhem?

- Yes, sir, it was.

There was a truck stop...

actually, the truck stop's

not there any more,

but it was at the... kind of

the side parking lot

of a truck stop,

and there was

an abandoned warehouse,

and then on the other side

of that, an apartment complex,

so the entire scene spanned

from that parking lot

all the way well into

the apartment complex.

There was shotgun shells.

There was cartridge casings

where they had exchanged fire

with the officers

that were there.

There was wrecked vehicles,

and, I mean, there was

just people everywhere.

- And the police officer

was run over?

- Yes, sir, his leg.

There was a vehicle

wrecked out,

and all the glass

in the vehicle

had shattered

from the g*nshots.

Burkett and Perry both sustained

g*nsh*t wounds.

I believe Jason Burkett

was shot three times,

if I'm not mistaken,

and I'm not really certain

about Michael Perry,

but they... they both had wounds

from g*nshots

and obviously glass cuts

and scrapes.

- So there was a wild,

hot pursuit,

and you were

in this wild chase.

Did you actually open fire

at them or...

- What had happened...

- I don't want to be

too indiscreet, but I think...

- Well, I can tell you.

I can tell you.

I pled guilty.

I've got 10 years done on

a 15 year sentence for it, so...

- I see, yeah.

- We were asleep.

We had been drinking

the night before.

We were sleeping in the car

because we couldn't

get to the motel,

which was on

the other side of a fence.

I don't remember this other guy

that was in the car with us.

I don't know

how he got with us.

I don't know his name.

I don't know anything

about him.

Michael Perry and me

were drinking,

and somehow this guy

got with us that night.

I remember getting woke up

and getting shot in the car.

I looked around.

Michael Perry

wasn't next to me.

It was some other kid

next to me,

but Perry was in the backseat,

and Perry tried to get

out of the car in the back,

and then he shut the door.

I started the truck,

and I went to flee,

and everybody says,

"You shouldn't have ran.

You shouldn't have ran."

I had just been shot,

and the only way for me

to not to get shot again

was to get out of there,

and I wasn't thinking clearly.

I didn't know about a m*rder.

I didn't know about

what they were looking...

I didn't know the extent.

I didn't even know

they knew who I was.

And when I drove off,

the officer was

right in front of me.

I drove to the right,

and he shot me through the door

right here in my arm.

- How badly were you wounded?

- I was shot right here.

- Can you show it higher for me?

- I was shot right here

in my wrist.

I was shot right here

in my hand, my finger.

I was shot right here.

I was shot right here,

and I was shot right here.

Right here, I had a piece

of the car door in my side.

- Still lodged in your side?

So how do you get through

a metal detector?

- Well, it came out afterwards.

It came out.

It did finally come out

in the jail.

Right here in my collarbone,

I had a piece of glass

from the car door, went inside.

I crashed into a building

because I couldn't steer.

My blood's all in the truck.

They said,

"Well, your DNA's on the g*n."

My DNA's on everything

in there.

I was shot.

My DNA was on Michael Perry.

My DNA was on every seat

in there from being shot.

Blood went everywhere.

Whenever I crashed,

I jumped out and ran.

I ran.

I ran in the building.

There was cops

sh**ting at the building

where we were crashed into.

They were sh**ting

from every direction.

The window in the back

of the building's like this.

You can't get through it.

I shot one time with the g*n

through the window.

I probably shouldn't

have done that,

but I was trapped,

and I was panicking.

I didn't know what to do.

And when we got through there,

we ran to some apartments,

and, you know, I... I carried Perry

half the way,

but, I mean,

we got to the apartment.

- You... you dealt with it

like real tough men.

I remember reading somewhere

that Michael Perry shouted,

"This is it.

Put the balls at the walls,"

or something.

"Let's bolt.

Let's fight back."

Can you remember

something like that?

- I remember reading that

they said, "Balls to the walls,"

or, you know, something.

I don't recall him saying it.

He could have said it.

- Too much commotion.

Too many b*ll*ts flying.

- I didn't really understand

what was happening.

All I knew is, where we were at,

we could not stay there.

- Yeah.

- And... and he was screaming,

"Balls to the walls," they say.

- Well, um, how can I say?

I... I don't want to go into

the details of...

of what happened,

but fact is that

three people were k*lled.

- Mm-hmm.

- And you deny that you were

even close to the scene or...

how... how do you...

- Well, there's no longer

a question.

There's no longer a question

of my innocence.

That's... question

is out the door.

The question is, what is anyone

gonna do about it now?

I mean, a perfect example is,

you're here with these guys.

They show up

at your hotel room in a car.

You're gonna assume that

that car is...

you know,

these are your friends,

so when Jason shows up

to pick me up in a car,

I'm gonna assume it's okay.

You get in it,

and you get arrested,

and you come to find out he just

m*rder*d someone from that car,

you're gonna end up

on Texas death row.

You're gonna end up right here

because you trusted

one of these guys

to show up and pick you up

in a... in a real car

that wasn't just stolen.

- But trusting in Jason

was a bad choice.

- Oh, absolutely.

- I mean, let's face it.

He was some sort of a bad apple,

and so... so were you.

- I was homeless and starving,

so it was...

- And using dr*gs and stealing.

- He offered me dr*gs.

He offered me a place to stay.

He offered me food,

so I chose...

I chose that,

which I shouldn't have.

I regret it every...

every minute now.

Cherish every minute, huh?

Cherish every minute.

Make the most of it because,

you know,

they can... they can...

they can do you like me.

Be in the wrong situation

at the wrong time,

and there's no telling

where you end up.

You might want to get out of

Texas as soon as possible, huh?

They might arrest you

any... any second, huh?

- I went over

to my buddy's house.

There was a guy there,

and he wanted to fight me,

and he run up on me

as I got out of the truck,

and... and I just

kind of blew him off.

You know what I mean?

"Just go on, man,

go on about your business."

And everybody said he was saying

he was gonna s*ab me

when I got out of the truck.

You know,

it kind of pissed me off,

so I... I went back,

found the dude,

and run up on him,

and I was taking off my shirt,

and I threw my... threw my

shirt up like that, you know,

and threw it up over my elbow.

I was gonna take it off,

and when I did that,

he hit me right here

with a screwdriver, you know,

a screwdriver about that long,

and it was a Phillips,

you know, them little skinny,

long screwdrivers.

It sunk in to the handle,

and after that, uh...

- All the way to the handle?

- All the way to the handle.

- How did it happen?

- Man, it's probably,

probably about right in there.

It went straight...

straight through under my arm,

into my chest,

and I never went to the hospital

or anything.

- And what did you feel?

You felt the...

- Yeah, just a...

I felt the... the...

you know, the pressure of it

when it hit.

That's all I felt,

and I kind of jumped back

out the way,

and... and I looked,

and my buddy threw me a knife,

and I looked down at the knife

on the ground,

and I was like, you know,

I'm thinking to myself

in my head, you know,

"I'm going home

to my kids today."

You know, so I didn't even

pick it up,

and then my other buddy come out

running by the yard,

and I had to be at work

in 30 minutes.

Matter of fact, I roof...

I was roofing a house

with Jason's brother.

What is it, Chris Burkett?

And I was roofing

a house with him.

- Chris was not in jail

at that time.

- Nah.

- And you went to hospital?

- Nah.

They was asking me

if I needed to go

to the hospital or anything,

but it just...

some, like, puss

and a little bit of blood

come out,

and, you know,

I thought I was good.

Evidently, I guess I am.

So I was lucky there.

- But you have never been in...

in real trouble with the law?

- I had a felony.

That's the only bad...

bad one I had.

- But you're a working man.

- Yes, sir.

- You have a job?

- Yeah, I ain't been in trouble

in four years.

- Can I see your hands?

- Yeah.

- When we shook hands,

I noticed your calluses.

You are working...

- Yeah.

- In a paint shop?

- Yep.

- Cars.

- Yes, sir.

- Solid work.

- Yes, sir.

- And the tattoo in here?

Can I see this?

Can you show it?

- Bailey.

- You had been with her

when you met Burkett?

- Nah.

- Not yet, uh-huh.

- No.

I've been with her

for three years,

and I got a 17 month old baby

with her.

- Oh, yeah.

So you are staying with her?

- Yeah.

- Now the tattoo is forever.

- Yeah, it's forever.

They just don't come off.

- And what happens if

the relationship unravels?

What happens to "Bailey"?

- Guess I'm gonna have to get

"Bailey sucks" right there.

- Can you talk about

Jason Burkett?

How did you meet him?

How did you know him?

What do you know about him?

- First time I ever met him,

seemed like a pretty cool guy,

you know?

So we hung out,

and I introduced him to

a few girls and everything,

and then we used to

go huntin' together.

One time, he tried to k*ll me.

I introduced him

to these girls,

and her dad and him

had something going on.

I don't know.

Well, anyway, he thought

I wanted to get with that girl

and come over

to another girl's house

and rushed me with a g*n.

Well, I had this girl

tell me to come outside,

and I was eating supper,

and he rushed me with a g*n.

So we fought

for about 45 minutes

with a g*n to my head

in this girl's house.

It was a .22 caliber

single-shot p*stol.

Yeah, he held... held it

to my head,

banged me in the head with it.

We were fighting all through

the house with the g*n

till I locked myself

in this bedroom,

and he was gonna

kick in the door,

so I just opened the door

and let him in

because I didn't want him to

tear this girl's dad's house up,

and after that,

we started fighting again,

and he pinned me on the bed,

and he pulled the trigger.

- Where did the b*llet go?

- Nah, it misfired,

because the b*llet

come out the g*n,

and you could tell on

a 22 b*llet, there's like...

it's just that round,

flat piece on the bottom.

Well, if the firing pin

ain't long enough,

it don't hit it, and...

and it don't... it won't go off,

but it hit it, but I don't know

why it didn't go off.

- You were lucky.

- Yeah.

- Very lucky.

- Yeah, I kind of

blacked out there.

But, yeah, real lucky.

And then him k*lling

those people, man,

I feel sorry

for their families.

Me and my friend Big Justin

was up at the bar one time,

and he come up there with these

new cars, him and Perry,

and we're like, "Man",

where'd y'all get

these new cars at?"

He's like,

"oh, we was holding hands"...

him and Perry was holding hands

and scratched off

a lottery ticket together

and won them two cars.

Well, me and my buddy

knew it wasn't right,

because they're both felons,

you know what I mean?

Ain't nobody gonna sell them...

ain't neither one

got a driver's license,

so, you know, and... and the cars

were, like, fully loaded,

CD's, skateboards,

and stuff like that in there,

and so we knew something...

something was up with it,

and he started giving people

joy rides up at the bar.

- Jason and Michael

came up to the bar

to show off two new vehicles

that they had purchased,

and at first, we...

nobody really understood.

They explained that they had

purchased a lottery ticket,

and that's how they got

the money to buy the cars,

and at that time, it started

getting a little weird.

- What didn't sound right

about this?

- The amount of

the lottery ticket was $4,000.

They said they cashed it

in a gas station.

That doesn't usually happen.

The vehicles themselves

didn't look like

they just came off a car lot.

- You drove these cars?

- I rode in them.

I didn't drive them.

Yeah, they...

Jason and Michael

were kind of giving everybody

test drives,

and I rode in both vehicles.

The... the red Camaro,

when I rode in it,

they were showing off g*ns.

There was a 12 gauge shotgun,

and I don't remember

the other one,

but I did see 'em in the trunk

of the red Camaro that night.

From what I heard, rumors,

you know, they were into...

initially planning on stealing

a car of my roommate

at the house I was staying at,

and that scared

the hell out of me,

'cause that could've been me.

You know, if he would've

decided to come

and get the car in my driveway,

where would I be?

I've... I've managed

to block it.

I've managed to try

to not deal with it

and not think about it.

I guess being in the situations

that I've been in,

just from being employed

at that bar,

I have seen so many awful things

that I don't deal with them.

I just kind of put them back.

- Did Jason brag about crimes?

- He never bragged to me

and my buddy Big Justin.

We didn't even know

what had happened,

and they was... they come got us

from Justin's house,

the police did,

and they took us up there,

and they was like,

"Y'all read the paper?"

And I told 'em, well,

I couldn't read,

and then they didn't

believe me,

and they looked at my record

and found out I can't read,

and then, so they read

the paper to me,

and they told me

what they had done.

- Mm-hmm.

Do you read now?

- Oh, yeah.

- So late, you started to learn

how to read.

- Yeah, I learned how to read.

- Wonderful, yes?

I find this

a great achievement.

- Yeah, it is awesome.

- You are much more

connected now.

- Yeah.

- How does it feel

not to be able to read?

You have to be much smarter

than the others

to understand the world anyway.

- Yeah.

It's... it's kind of tough

out there when you can't read,

but, I mean,

'cause they ain't always have

somebody gonna read it for you.

But, I mean,

I learned how to read in jail

so I could write letters

and read the letters,

and other than that,

I don't plan on going back,

but I'm glad I learned

how to read there.

- And you are doing good now?

- Oh, yeah.

Staying busy at the paint

and body shop.

- Reading?

- Oh, yeah.

- Writing?

- Not much writing.

A lot of sanding.

- I'm interested in your

relationship with Michael Perry.

How did you two meet?

How does this thing happen?

- In 2000,

I had a girlfriend in 2000.

She had a friend named Miranda.

I ended up going to jail,

and Miranda, I seen her

on the side of the road

arguing with Michael Perry,

and I said...

I pulled over, and I asked her

what was going on,

and she said,

"He's living in my trunk,

"and I can't get him...

"you know, he can't live there

no more.

"My dad's seen him.

"My dad got in a fight with him

this morning.

He can't live there."

So he was living

in the trunk of a car,

and I said, "Well, I don't know

what to tell you."

And she asked me,

"Can he live with you?"

And at that moment, I told her,

"No, he can't live with me."

And then, I looked at him,

and she's, like, sad and crying,

and she said, "Please, let him

live with you just for a month."

This was when we were living

in the camper trailer,

and I told him,

"You can live with us.

Get your stuff, put it

in my truck, and come home."

And from that day on,

I fed him, gave him money,

took care of him.

He was like a...

like a little brother,

kid brother

that was pushed on you,

and... and when they... he's older

than me by a few months,

but I had to take care of him

because he had nothing.

He had nobody.

Little did I know he had

a very supportive family.

His mom and dad

were both supportive.

He just didn't want

to follow rules.

He was just like me

and didn't want to follow rules,

and that's why he ended up

living with me,

'cause they said,

"Work and you can live with us."

He didn't want to work.

- And you were sent on a

outward Bound trip into Florida.

What happened?

What was that, yeah?

- Well, you know,

I'm a city boy at heart,

you know what I'm saying?

I'm really not into

the nature and bugs

and... and the weather

and, you know.

So, you know, when... they sent me

on a two week canoe trip.

- Which sounds wonderful

for me, but...

- Yeah, you know, you know,

I like to canoe,

but what it...

what was...

It wasn't the canoeing

that was bad.

It was that it was

in the Everglades.

I mean, we're seeing alligators

everywhere.

Now, my question is...

and I didn't even realize that

until I got here...

what happened

if I would've fell out

and got eaten by an alligator?

Who would've been responsible?

You know, did my parents sign

some type of waiver?

Because there was

alligators everywhere.

- Well, a young man of 13,

you better watch out

and... and handle

the alligators well, yes.

- Yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

- But what happened then?

You didn't...

- Well, I think it was on

the third or fourth day.

We would canoe until, like,

nighttime and pull in.

I guess they had certain

designations marked,

and sometimes we'd pull in,

like, at midnight.

There's bugs... you can reach out

and grab a handful of bugs,

and then they'd want us

to cook dinner,

and, you know, I'm like,

"Man, I can't."

And one of the things

of the program was

to teach you immediate...

you know, every action

there's a... there's a reaction,

so immediate consequences

to your decisions,

and one of the things

I learned is that

if I don't pay attention

to the lessons...

we had these bags

for our property,

and you had to seal them right,

or they wouldn't be waterproof.

Well, I didn't listen,

and it fell in the water,

and all my stuff got wet,

so I didn't have my own tent.

I didn't have no

toilet paper any more,

and I didn't like that.

So basically, I... I was

my typical stubborn self,

and I told them, "You know what?"

I ain't doing this no more.

Take me home."

- But you were not att*cked

by alligators, but...

- No, we were att*cked

by monkeys, though.

- By monkeys.

What happened?

- Absolutely, monkeys

were jumping from one side

to the trees

on the side we were at

and come... trying

to come over there,

and they couldn't figure out

where the monkeys came from,

but there was

a whole bunch of them,

a whole bunch.

I wanted to get out

and get one,

but they said

they have diseases, right?

- So best... case scenario,

if you are granted parole

in 2041,

how old would you be then?

Does this ever occur to you?

Do you want to think about it?

- I'll be 59, 60.

I was 19.

I have to do 40 years from 19,

which will be 59 years old.

Long time.

- When it came to the phase

after your trial was over,

for punishment phase,

your father showed up in court.

Can you describe the scene?

- I knew he was coming,

and I knew what he was gonna

testify to,

but to hear him testify,

it's like...

I was born with neuroblastomas.

I... I had 18 surgeries

by the time I was five,

and I... I don't know

a lot about it

because it's something

that I try to shy away from.

I knew he was gonna testify

to my raising,

and I was a...

in pain all the time,

and he'd watch me cry to sleep,

and...

It was difficult,

because I seen him cry.

I mean, if you ever see my dad,

he's 6'6 ", 6'7", 300 pounds,

big old guy, tattooed.

- And they brought him

in from... from prison.

- He came in from prison.

- Is he still incarcerated?

- He's right across the street

on Ellis Unit.

- Mr. Burkett,

how are you doing?

- Just... I'm doing fine.

Doing fine.

Little sick.

- How fine?

- Little bit sick.

- Mm-hmm.

You are in here

for how many years?

- 40.

- 40 years.

- Yes, sir.

- Eight felony counts,

is that correct?

- Yes, sir.

- That's pretty serious.

- Yes, sir.

- And you spent some time before

this 40 year sentence in jail.

Is that correct?

- Yes, sir.

- Yeah.

- I've been in prison

five times.

- How many years already?

- A 2 year sentence,

a 5 year sentence,

a 30 year sentence,

and then this 40.

- That's a lot.

- Yes, sir.

- What went wrong?

- dr*gs and alcohol.

- Can you explain?

- Well, I started using dr*gs

when I was about 13,

drinking and drugging,

and, uh...

Selling and manufacturing.

Some stealing and burglarizing

going along with it

to sup... support the habit

and always end up

back in prison.

- There's one significant moment

when Jason, your son,

was found guilty

for capital m*rder...

- Yes.

- And triple homicide.

During the sentencing phase,

you appeared in court.

Can you describe what you said

to the jury?

- Well...

I explained to 'em

what prison life was about,

and I explained...

I explained to 'em

that I didn't think k*lling him

was gonna bring back those

people or really, you know,

do anything to correct

what happened,

and I asked

the jury to, you know,

"Please, you know,

don't k*ll my son."

I asked 'em.

I said just,

"Please, don't k*ll my son."

He never had a chance.

He didn't have a father.

I told 'em that, you know,

he did... I was never there,

and his mother was a, you know,

single mother

with four children,

and... and she had handicaps.

She... she's on disability.

Most of that time,

she was living on disability,

and so they...

they really didn't...

they lived off food stamps,

and, you know, HUD housing

and that type of thing,

and... and he...

he really...

he really had a real poor life

growing up.

I just asked 'em

not to k*ll my son.

It wasn't his fault.

I... it... I wished I could...

I wish that I could

take the time, his time.

I wish I could, 'cause I feel

like that it's my fault.

I... I... really do.

I feel like it's...

I'm as much at fault as he is,

'cause if I'd have been there,

it, quite possibly, maybe not,

but... but it might possibly

have been different.

He'd have had a better chance.

You know, he'd have

a whole lot better chance,

if I'd have been there

helping his mother raise him,

but I wasn't.

The jury got up to leave,

and the door was right here

to my right,

and as the door closed

behind them,

I heard two ladies break down.

I'm... I'm real emotional,

and I'm crying

through the whole thing,

but as they went through

that door, and the door closed,

I heard two ladies

break down crying.

They broke down,

and then the...

when it... it was all over

and his lawyer come told me,

he said...

I remember the... his words.

He said, "You got him."

- You saved a life.

- He said... he said,

"You got him."

I said,

"What do you mean?"

He said, "You got him."

And that's where I...

that's what saved...

there was two votes.

It was ten to two,

and there was two votes

that voted not to k*ll him,

and I think those were the

two ladies right there that...

they're the ones

that saved his life.

- But you can be proud

of this moment.

- Yeah.

I had some help too.

God helped me.

He did.

I asked God to help me,

and I think He did.

I didn't deserve

any help for him.

He may not deserve the help,

but we got it

from some place, so...

- The hardest part

was to look at him

and for him to look at me,

and I seen that he was sincere,

that he really was sorry for,

you know,

what he had done throughout

my whole childhood,

and he had been in prison.

I don't blame him for it,

but I seen right there

that he understood

that it did affect us,

and I cried that one day,

that was it, through the...

the whole trial.

Even after conviction,

the only thing that hurt me

was my... my dad testifying.

- Whenever I went back

and testified,

his brother went back

and testified too.

His brother was in...

in prison, Chris,

and... and we,

me and Chris went...

came back to

the diagnostics together,

and then...

and I'm embarrassed,

but all of three of us,

we had Thanksgiving together,

me and Chris and Jason over

at the diagnostics unit.

You know, and they, uh...

They think that's kind of cool,

but as a father, I thought

that was pretty embarrassing

to be sitting there

in prison with my sons.

- All of them incarcerated.

- Yes, sir.

And then me and Jason went on

over to the next place together,

handcuffed together in the bus,

and that's something that

I never in my life

would ever dreamed... dreamed of

that would've happened,

that that same little baby

that was...

We had to hold him down to

take bone marrow tests out of,

the same little 6 pound baby.

- Describe the feeling to me

when you are handcuffed together

with your own son

in the same bus.

Can you describe that?

- No, not really.

It... it's, uh...

- Try to describe it for us.

Well, I don't know.

I just felt like

a total failure,

total failure as a father.

- And you could feel his hand,

can't you?

- Yes.

Yeah, we were handcuffed to

this hand and his right hand,

and we were sitting there,

and... and I was just...

it was just total failure.

That's what I felt like.

I felt like crap, you know,

and I used a different word

to the jury,

and... and... and that's...

and that's what I meant.

You know, he had trash for a...

for a father,

and... and then here I was

sitting with my baby son

on a prison bus,

and, I mean, I don't think it...

I don't think it gets much

lower than that, you know?

It just don't.

Knowing me or him,

neither one'll ever, you know,

get out again.

I just got a three year set

off again

about a week ago, so...

We'll never... me or him

will never get out again.

- And will he ever

get out again?

- I don't think so.

He comes up for parole

the first time in...

in 1942 for the first time.

- 40 years

after his conviction.

- Yes, sir, 1941.

I'm sorry.

Yes, sir.

Yes, sir.

- Yeah, 2041.

You're a century back.

- Yes.

- Behind.

- 19 yeah, 2041.

I'm sorry.

- Well, it doesn't matter.

It's time must be.

- A long time.

- Time is probably different

for you in here.

- Yes, sir.

- This is actually the vehicle

that was in Sandra Stotler's

garage.

This was the vehicle

that Michael Perry and

Jason Burkett was... was after.

Three people died for this car,

a car that was

in their possession

for less than

Within a couple of years,

I mean, this vehicle

was just trashed,

the inside of it,

because there was actually

a tree that had rooted

and had come up through

the center of it,

and it tore the floorboard up,

and whenever we actually had

to move it over to this lot,

it was a little bit difficult

because of that.

- A tree grew inside of it.

- A tree grew up

from the bottom up into...

up into the car.

- Why did they die?

- I ask myself that question

every day.

I mean, for a vehicle?

You know, I... I don't know.

I don't know.

People die every day over

giving people a dirty look

or, you know, $2.

People rob each other,

and I don't know.

I don't know why they died,

the greed of these two boys.

I don't know.

I don't...

I don't have an answer.

- Can you speak about

the family of victims?

Nobody seems

to address that side.

- I... I don't...

- How do you live

with all this?

I didn't for a while.

I'm starting to live again,

but basically I just shut down.

Montgomery County has

a victims assistance program,

but when you... when your whole

family's ripped from you,

you... you know, you're kind of

like, what's the point?

What's the point

of living any more?

I don't have a family

to share it with.

And I know I have to live

for my children,

to raise my children.

I don't want them to have

a miserable life

or have a depressed mother

all the time.

But for about four years,

I didn't go anywhere.

I stayed in the house,

took the phone out of the home.

I don't like to talk to people.

I figure, if I don't

get close to anybody,

I don't... you know,

I won't get hurt again.

I don't know.

I just...

I just shut down, really.

My grandmother shut down.

Our... our lives are...

are empty, very empty.

Very empty.

That's Adam.

That was his six...

he was 16 there.

That was his last

school picture.

My brother, my brother

was my best friend.

He was...

he was only 16.

It is true that he is not

my real brother.

My sister was...

got pregnant when she was 16,

and my parents adopted him,

and they were actually

out of town the day he was born,

so I was the first one

to hold him,

and I just... I had this feeling

his whole life

that something

was gonna happen to him,

and I remember calling my mother

and saying, you know,

"What's Adam doing?

Where's Adam?"

You need to make sure...

y'all just moved up to ohio.

"You need to make sure

you're watching him."

And my mom was like,

"I've raised five children.

I can take care of him."

And when he hit 16,

I knew he was... he was good.

He was safe.

He was a man.

He'd be able to

take care of himself now.

He was such a great kid.

He was in love for

the first time in his life.

And, um, one... one thing

that sticks out for me,

my mom always protected me.

One thing that I remember,

I was supposed to get married.

Well, I did get married

September 16, 1995,

but my dad, Mel,

he was a preacher,

and he was supposed

to marry me and Kenneth.

He died six months

before the wedding.

He was hit by a train,

him and my older brother

and the family dog.

And so we got... I refused

to get married in a church,

so we got married on the boat

in Lake Conroe.

Right as I was

walking out the...

walking out the door

to go down the aisle,

my mother pinned my dad's

wedding ring inside my dress

right over my heart,

and she said, "I didn't want

your dad to miss this."

And, you know, that just...

- You loved her.

- Yes, and I know she was

in so much pain that day,

but she hid it

because I was so happy.

She hid her pain for me,

and, you know, she... she just

made it through the day.

I just miss 'em a lot.

Our family's just so incomplete,

so incomplete.

You know, sometimes my kids

will ask me things,

and I'll go, "I don't know."

I wonder what my mo...".

You know, there's things

at all times of day and night

I want to call and ask her.

It took me forever to realize

she was really gone

'cause I would want to pick up

the phone and call her.

- Is this why you

got rid of the phone?

- Yes, I... I did not want

another phone call

telling me somebody else

in my family had died.

I couldn't handle

those phone calls any more.

I couldn't handle 'em any more,

so I just cut myself off

from the world.

I can't... I can't

have a phone on.

I just don't like to hear

the phone ring any more

'cause all it ever brought me

was bad news.

- The worst.

- The worst.

- Not just bad, yeah.

You had to... to face it.

- Yeah.

Well, you know,

it's just, I mean,

not only did I lose my mother

and my father and my brother

to tragic circumstances.

I mean, my grandfather

had a stroke.

My uncle hung himself.

My other uncle

had a heroin overdose.

My stepbrother shot himself

'cause he had pancreatic cancer.

My real father died

in his sleep.

All this was in six years,

a six year period.

I lost everyone in my family,

everybody.

- Mr. Burkett,

if you close the eyes

and you think about

a different life

and it could start all over,

how would you raise

the children?

- Well...

It's hard to answer something

that you've never done,

and, you know, embarrassing...

it's embarrassing to say that,

but... but I know when...

I would like...

I would like to them have...

I had a scholarship

to the University of Texas

in 1973, in football,

and I quit school

in my senior year,

quit football and quit school

and lost that,

and I wish I could go back

to right there.

- Yes, go back to right there.

Now you have the children.

- Then I have the children,

and... and I would had...

I would have done

everything in my power

to... to help them finish school

like I didn't.

You always tell them,

"Don't be like me."

Well, I wished...

I wished I would've been

something they could've been,

and I wish they could've

finished school.

I wish we could've played

baseball like I did

when I was little,

in Little League.

I wish that we could've

played baseball.

Two of them did

for, like, one time.

I wish we could've

played baseball,

and I wished I could've went

to their football games.

And I raised a steer in...

in school for FFA.

I wish they could've did that.

We lived in the country.

That's what I wish

we could go back, all of us,

and... and... and go to school,

school events.

I got to watch one of my sons

play the horn

one time in school,

and... and that's the stuff

that I remember.

That's the good stuff,

and this all

wouldn't have happened.

- I want to say this

on the record.

I'm not saying that my husband

was a Boy Scout.

I'm not saying that

Jason Burkett did absolutely...

had no knowledge

and was, like, selling cookies

or raising money for camp

when that happened.

I'm saying that Jason did not

k*ll one, two, or three people.

Sandra, Jeremy, and Adam

were not k*lled by Jason.

- And you asked your husband...

you asked Jason point blank,

"Can you tell me what...

what happened?"

because you wanted

to make sure.

What did you ask him?

- I've asked Jason

multiple times

to tell me everything

that I need to know.

I said, "Jason..."

Jason doesn't have

a whole lot of money,

so we do most of his stuff

pro se,

which is where we file it

ourselves,

and me and his father have

pretty much done his appeal,

and I always ask him,

"I need to know

everything you can tell me

to help you get home,"

and that's basically

how we start our conversations,

and Jason will recall things,

and, you know, more and more,

it's, like, been a snowball

that I've picked up

exactly what I think happened.

- Yeah.

And you are told

he was innocent.

- Yes.

- And you do believe him.

- I do believe him.

I... like I said, I believe

that Jason had involvement.

I don't believe

he k*lled three people.

I wrote Jason

for maybe two years

before I went to meet him,

because really I could do most

of the stuff through the mail,

and one day

I was talking to his mother,

and she said something

to the effect of,

"You'll never guess what Jason

said to me today,"

and I said, "What?"

And she said, "He told me

that he was in love with you."

And I said, "That's crazy."

And I remember, to give you,

like, the pre-story,

I was with my best friend,

and when I hung up,

I said to my best friend...

her name's Kat...

I was like, "Kat, Jason

Burkett's in love with me."

She goes,

"That's probably pretty good

'cause you're

in love with him too."

And I said,

"What are you talking about?

"Don't be an idiot," you know?

And she said,

"Dude, when is the last time

"you've been on a date?

"When was the last time you

haven't spent a Saturday night

with Jason Burkett's

court paperwork?"

I was like,

"Hey, that's not nice."

But I ended up driving...

I lived in Nebraska

at the time.

I ended up driving from omaha

to Abilene

because I wanted him

to tell me himself,

and he was at

the Robertson Unit.

- You were two days

and two nights driving?

- Yes.

I drove it...

it seemed, like, endless too.

I drove, and I got there,

and I remember,

I just asked him.

Like, that was the first thing

I said.

I was like, "Hi, we've never

seen each other in our lives",

"but hi.

Your mom told me

that you're in love with me."

But I didn't say it.

I wanted to be coy, so I said,

"Your mom told me you told her

something in a visit."

I said, "What...

what did you tell her?"

And he said,

"I need stamps?"

And I was like,

"I wouldn't be in Abilene

"because you need

stamps, right?

What are you...

don't play games with me."

And he goes,

"oh, that part where I said

I was in love with you?"

And then I dropped the phone

because I was nervous,

and I didn't know what to say,

and I kind of fumbled

through that whole visit

because I didn't immediately go,

"I love you too."

It wasn't, you know,

like a movie.

I was very nervous.

I'm not that girl that

falls in love with an inmate.

And I was like, okay,

I'm just gonna be cool with it,

and then when I left,

the day I met Jason,

there was a rainbow,

and I'm not...

This is true.

It's in our letters.

There was a rainbow

that went from one gate...

side of the gate

to the other side of the gate,

and I thought that was the most

miraculous sign that this is...

this is the boy

that I'm supposed to be with

and this is...

he is innocent,

because how many times

do you see a whole rainbow?

And we saw a whole rainbow,

and my friend was with me.

He saw the rainbow too.

I have a witness.

And when Jason...

when I got home,

I had a letter waiting for me,

and he said,

"Did you see the rainbow?"

- At the gates of the prison.

- It went from one side,

my side on the outside,

to the inside to him.

- I believe in me,

you know, I know what...

I know what happened

back in 2001.

I know that I wasn't

a part of it,

and I believe strongly in...

in my faith,

in my attorneys,

and in the outcome,

but at the same time, I don't

even recognize these walls.

I don't pay attention to this,

because if you do,

you're gonna lose your mind.

You're gonna... you're gonna go...

you're gonna lose your mind.

Recently, another guy just

k*lled himself the other day,

and he left a note saying that,

"Y'all have to live around

all this craziness,

and I'm gone,"

and that's because

he was focusing on it,

but I don't.

I don't focus on it.

You know, I just...

I just distract myself.

I stay busy.

I work on my case.

I have a great family,

a lot of supporters

that help me,

so I have enough distractions.

If I didn't have

enough distractions,

I might be in

a different position.

- How does time occur to you now

in your situation?

- Wow, that's a...

that's a good...

it... it really varies,

but, you know,

because, I'll...

like, I'll forget.

I'll literally forget,

and then I'll look at

my calendar

or I'll hear someone

say something,

and I'm like, "Man."

And I'll sit back,

and I'll just stare at the wall,

and I'll be like,

"Man, eight days,

seven days, six days,"

or whatever, and it's like...

it's just... I must not be

comprehending the fact

that it's that close,

because, you know,

it's hard for me to say,

you know what...

like, I talk to people,

"You know, in eight days,

these people

want to m*rder me,"

and it's just something that,

it's hard for me to...

hard for me to believe

that the state of Texas wants

to m*rder me in eight days.

- And worst case scenario,

you know exactly what is

going to happen on July 1st?

- Yeah, the execution.

Mm-hmm.

- You will be transported

to Huntsville?

- Right, the Walls Unit.

- That's a death house?

- Yes, sir.

- And you will be checked

by a medical examiner?

- I don't... no, no medical people

can be involved.

- I think they...

they have to check you

that you are fit

to be ex*cuted.

- I've never heard that,

but it might be.

- I think it's

one of these absurdities.

If you are unconscious,

for example,

you cannot be ex*cuted.

- Oh, yeah?

- Or if you are stark mad

or something...

- Yeah, yeah.

- They would not execute you.

- Yeah, that is true.

- Or if you are bleeding

from a g*nsh*t wound,

they would not put you

onto the gurney.

- Right.

They got to treat me first

and then k*ll me, huh?

- Probably, yes.

That's... that's kind of crazy

to think about, right?

Yeah, I just... I just can't

allow myself to think.

I can't even picture myself

laying on a gurney,

but if it happens,

I'll have to deal with it, huh?

You know, I'll have to

deal with it,

and I'll be able to watch over

my mom from heaven

with a clear conscience

and be at peace.

You know, like I said,

for a long time,

my life has been unhappy,

so finally I can find me

some peace, huh?

- And you are

at peace with yourself.

- Now.

- Mm-hmm.

Took a long time.

- Yes, absolutely did.

Took a long time

to realize what a man was.

I was out there

acting like a child.

I acted like a child

when I got in here at first,

but I'm confident in...

in who I am now.

- Michael Perry,

I wish you all the best.

- Yes, thank you.

I don't know

what's gonna happen, huh?

We're gonna see.

We're gonna find out.

I'll find out on Monday.

- They knew

what I was telling them

was gonna be the truth.

I mean, I'm not gonna

tell you anything that...

I'm gonna tell you everything

that's gonna happen back here.

At 4:00, a guy's

gonna come in here,

and they're gonna

fingerprint you.

Shortly after that,

we're gonna allow you

to take a shower,

and then we're gonna put you

in free world clothes,

let you... let you dress

in free world clothes.

Free world clothes would be

clothes you and I would wear.

request for the last meal,

they'll bring it in,

and you'll sit there

and eat your last meal.

During that time, if you need

anything else, just ask.

You know, you need

some more juice, punch,

or whatever else

we got back here, just ask.

You know, and they...

you know,

sometimes we get

strange requests.

You know, within reason,

I'm gonna get it for you.

- Give me one

of those requests.

- Oh, one was,

"Man, I'd sure like to

smoke a doobie right now."

Well, that's not gonna happen,

you know.

The guy with the key,

he opens the door,

swings the door open.

There's another

correctional officer behind him

and another one behind me.

So soon as he does,

he follows me in,

and then the other

correctional officers

follow right in behind him.

So there'll be two in front of...

in front of the inmate,

and then the other three

right behind him.

I tell him jump up

on the gurney,

which then I a*t*matic...

- It's only a few steps

from the cell.

- I would say no more than

ten steps, if that much.

I would immediately

go around to the gurney

'cause I always took care

of the left leg.

So soon as he laid down,

I took care of the left leg.

The other person

who was in front with me

would take care of the right.

The... the three

that fell in behind,

one would take care

of the... the right arm.

The other one would take care

of the left arm,

and the other one would be there

in case the inmate,

once he lays down,

if he had a response

to try to get back up,

his job was to hold...

to hold his shoulders down.

You know, you're not...

once you're up there,

you're up there, you know.

Within that time,

us four people

would have him done.

Probably within about

he'd be strapped down

that quick,

'cause we all knew

exactly where our straps were

and what we were

supposed to do.

The time.

Do... do a process.

We trained on it.

It's the last time

you're gonna see...

I'm gonna see him

with his eyes open,

because after

the execution's done

and the process went

and then... then they call

the doctor in

to pronounce him dead,

then everybody leaves.

My job begins again 'cause

I have to go back in there,

and that's... that's all...

also kind of difficult

because here you sit with this

individual eight or ten hours,

all day long,

and now the last thing

you're doing

is removing those straps.

The straps have to be removed

and put him on another gurney

for the funeral home.

And then, you thought...

you didn't think about

none of this

while you're doing this,

the procedure.

You know, none of this, you're...

you don't keep...

you don't put those emotions

out there.

Do you... you do the job

and go home.

- You did how many executions,

roughly?

- It was over 125, 120.

It was somewhere over 120.

It was a bunch.

We got to the point to where,

especially after I...

I think I promoted to captain

in '90.

We were doing two a week,

and that was getting tiresome.

- And what happened to you then?

I... back when they...

when they brought in

Karla Faye,

I stayed back there with her.

Now, definitely that was

the first female

that we were fixing to execute.

I remember one thing

so vividly,

that it was an hour before,

and I was standing there,

and the chaplain

was standing there,

and she looked at me,

and she goes,

"Thank you, Captain Allen,

for everything you've done."

I said, "You're welcome."

You know, that's all

I could say, you know.

What else can...

what else am I gonna say?

What, "I'm fixin' to strap

you down in another hour"?

Which we went...

procedure and everything went

just the way it was supposed to.

You know,

she was pronounced dead.

I went back in there,

and I took the gurn...

took the straps off,

put her, you know,

on the gurney and that stuff.

We locked everything up,

went about our business,

and... and everything

was fine.

I had a little shop

in the back.

It was 6:00, and the news

come on over the radio,

and it started again,

and for some reason,

just out of the blue,

hearing it, it triggered me

seeing her hurt,

and I just started shaking.

I don't know what's wrong,

and then, it was...

- How badly did you shake?

- It was... it was...

it was a shake.

It was a shake.

Like, I couldn't...

why am I shaking?

And then I could see my...

I was sweating and in tears.

All of a sudden,

man, this... this is hurtin'.

I remembered her...

this was two days afterwards.

I remembered her execution.

Hers wasn't no different

than anybody else,

but it was hers,

and then I started actually

visualizing the other inmates

as... you asked me, "Did you look

in their eyes when they're"...

I could see 'em.

I could actually see 'em

in their holding cell again,

you know,

one right after another,

and it seemed like

there was just...

My wife goes,

"What's wrong with you?"

And I don't know.

I need to talk to somebody.

And the first person I could

think of to call was Carroll,

Chaplain Pickett,

and he come over to the house,

and we sat on that old swing,

and I started coming down,

and I... he says,

"What's wrong?"

And I told him,

and then I looked at Carroll,

and I said,

"I can't do it no more.

"That's it.

I'm... I'm done.

I can't... I can't

go back there any more."

- Could it be that you thought

that this was not yourself

but maybe it was

your real self that moment?

- That's a good possibility.

- What's really

deep inside of you...

- Yes.

- Came out.

- That's a good...

that's very...

I mean, that's...

I mean, from that point on,

I mean, I've had

a different outlook in life.

If executions was the law,

then I was gonna make sure

that it was done professionally,

with integrity.

After Karla... and I was

pro capital punishment.

After Karla Faye

and after all this,

until this day,

No, sir.

I don't... nobody has the right

to take another life.

I don't care if it's the law.

And it's so easy

to change the law.

- I... I don't want to sound, um...

Like a evil person or...

but I am so glad

I went to the execution.

I really am.

I fought with my...

with myself about going.

I reserved this... the seat

so I could be there,

but I'm glad I went.

I'm really glad I went.

It... it really

did something to me.

- Yeah.

What did it do?

- I don't...

I don't know what...

I don't know what happened,

but I...

immediately after the execution,

I felt like a...

that saying,

a huge weight had been lifted.

I actually could take

a deep breath.

My heart didn't ache as much.

I remember walking in

and thinking,

"This looks like a boy."

I had built this huge monster,

evil, you know,

murdering monster in my head,

and he was just a boy.

He was just a boy

laying on that gurney.

When I walked in,

he looked at me,

and he looked away,

and he did a double take.

Same thing Jason Burkett

did in court.

I look like my mom.

I look a lot like my mother.

- And what did he say?

- He forgave us.

He forgave us.

Yeah.

And I was upset

when I walked in.

I was crying.

You know, our whole...

my whole family,

we didn't want to see

someone die, you know.

No one should have to do...

go through that,

but we were there for my mother,

you know, and my brother,

and we were crying,

and when he said he forgave us...

- For what?

- For the atrocity

brought against him.

And then he said

he's ready to go.

I heard his mother cry,

and they gave him

the injection.

He gasped for air four times.

I watched his shirt thump,

you know, his heart

beating on his shirt.

I watched it till it stopped,

and it stopped at 6:14.

One tear fell down his eye,

one tear.

And he was gone,

and it was over.

- And the prospect of someone

who is gonna be locked away

for life without parole,

would that satisfy...

- Definitely.

- Yes.

- Definitely.

- So it would be definitely

an alternative,

because death penalty sounds

a little bit too much

like old Testament,

the wrath of God.

- An eye for an eye.

- Jesus probably would not

have been an advocate of...

- Probably not.

Probably not.

But some people

just don't deserve to live.

- Can I say something?

- Please.

- I know on July the 1st

is when they...

they ex*cuted Michael,

and... and I knew Michael

pretty well.

- Yeah.

- And I kept up with...

I have every kind of clipping

and website thing

I have on him and Jason.

I have, like, a whole

locker box full.

So I know as much about him

as anybody,

and Michael was just...

just like Jason.

They were both young,

and whatever they did

or didn't do, I don't know.

I was not there,

but Michael was just a...

was just a young... a young kid,

and I know he...

I know when they ex*cuted him,

I know how he...

I know his last words

and everything else,

and I know,

by executing Michael,

I don't think it brought

any of those people back,

and I don't think

it deterred anything.

I... I don't think it deterred

anybody out there.

As much publicized as it was,

it did not deter anything,

and I really do not believe

that it solved anything

by taking another life,

and it hurt me.

When it come time

for his execution,

I knew it was gonna be

about 6:00,

usually a few minutes

after 6:00 P.M.,

and I was on my knees

at my bunk for Michael,

praying for Michael,

and a feeling come over me

right about ten...

five or ten minutes after 6:00,

a feeling come over me

that's hard...

very, very hard to explain.

It was like I felt the loss of...

of what used to be

my son's best friend.

I felt...

I felt that.

I felt that pain

whenever they k*lled him.

But I just wish those fam...

the family members

would know that,

how much that I... I hurt

for their loss.

That's very important,

and Michael never, never...

that's what upset them,

'cause Michael never tried

to reach out to 'em.

I wished I could

and say I'm sorry.

- Yeah.

Melyssa, let me address

one thing.

Among death row inmates,

there's such a phenomenon

like death row groupies,

the same way rock stars

have groupies,

and you have seen women

like that.

- I have seen women like that,

in fairness.

I've also seen women who are

married to death row inmates

in truly committed

relationships

that I believe

are not disingenuous

and I believe

come from their heart.

You know, some people are just

supposed to be together,

whether there's a cage

and lawman between you.

I believe that.

I mean, I do believe that

there's a fair amount of women

who want attention,

who want media coverage,

who seek out infamous men.

I mean, like Scott Peterson

gets a hundred letters a day

on death row in California.

That's ridiculous.

- He m*rder*d

his pregnant wife.

- Yes.

- Is that correct, that case?

Yeah, a good... looking man.

- Good looking man.

- However, Jason

is not an ugly man either.

Describe him to us, please.

- Like, physically?

- Yes.

You only have touched his hand.

Describe his hands to us.

- They're a lot bigger

than mine.

I'll start there.

I have really tiny hands.

He always... Jason,

he holds hands funny,

and he always holds my hand

kind of like that

as opposed to intertwined,

so he holds on to me,

and I just know

that his hands are massive,

because he wears

a ring size 11.

Our wedding rings,

it's an 111/2,

and I wear a 4,

so he can totally cup my hand.

- Were you allowed

to touch each other?

Hug each other?

Exchange rings?

- No.

I still can't get a ring.

- And you were separated

by a glass wall or...

- Just like this right here,

except for we had a phone,

and it was solid right here,

solid glass.

- But when she comes for visits,

are you allowed to hug her?

- I am now.

After we married,

I'm allowed to hug her.

I'm allowed to give her a kiss

before and after visit.

We're allowed to hold hands

on the table

and have contact and speak.

- But of course... of course

with a guard present.

- As close as you are to me.

- And you would like

to have children.

- Yes, sir.

- How would that happen?

How... what sort of option

is there?

- I want 50 children.

She wants 2.

So, I mean,

we have to work on this.

I want children

for different reasons.

I want children with her

specifically because I love her.

I want to be with her.

I want to give her something

that she'll always have with me.

- I'm under the impression

seeing you now

that you became pregnant

only a few days

after we met your husband.

- You guys met him

on the 18th of october?

- I think so, yeah,

something like that.

- Yeah, I believe my baby

was made

on the 23rd of october,

approximately.

- Right after

we saw your husband.

- 23rd or 24th.

- You went into action.

So to speak.

- And the father of the baby

is your husband.

- Legally, will be Jason, yes.

- And it is Jason biologically,

legally...

- I can't say that.

- In every single sense.

Since you are not allowed

to do more than touching hands,

how do you become pregnant?

There's a mystery.

- Yeah, it's kind of a mystery.

There's people involved

that I don't want to mention.

- No, we would not

imply anyone,

but I have to speculate.

Is there such a thing like

contraband entering prisons,

like, let's say, dr*gs,

cell phones, illegal messages,

there seems to be something

the other way round,

contraband from the prison

to the outside,

and you became pregnant.

- Well, we...

- Can we formulate it

like this?

- We... we prefer to say that

I was artificially inseminated.

- Do you have a name

for the boy?

- Well, we've...

we came up with Easton.

Easton Aaron.

- Can you show us?

I think there's a face.

Can you point it out?

- It's right there.

If you actually can see it

close enough,

you can tell my baby

has my strong jaw.

You live on

through your children,

and the love

that you put into them

projects to the world.

My parents are both gone,

and I had this big hole

in my heart,

and I realized

that what you do is,

you take all of that love,

and you give it back.

I mean, nothing else matters.

- I actually have this shirt

tacked up on my wall.

- Can I see the shirt?

Can you turn it around?

- I just make sure...

and somebody told me about the...

the live your dash,

and that's really,

after all this...

that I went through

and quit and everything,

then I heard the story

telling me live your dash.

How do you... how are you gonna

live your dash?

And I didn't understand.

"What are you

talking about 'dash'?"

It's on your tombstone.

You got your birth date,

and you got the day

that you decease,

and you got that little dash

in the middle.

That's your life right there.

That's your...

that's everything between

from the time you was born

from the time you die.

How are you gonna

live your dash?

And that's where I'm at now.

I'm gonna live my dash

and make sure that everything,

try to make everything right

for the family, everybody.

Hold still and watch the birds.

And you know, once you

get up into your life like that

and once you feel good

about your life,

you under... you do start watching

what the birds do, you know,

what the ducks are doing,

like, the hummingbirds.

Wow, there's so many of them.
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