02x10 - Special Delivery

[bunniefuu]

I first started having them
when I was a teenager,

and, you know,
it's... It bothered me.

Mmm. It did?

Well, sure.

Well, I had dreams
like other guys.

Girls and pitching
in the World Series and...

But I was always
in my undershorts.

Well, it's not uncommon.

You have dreams
about conducting
a symphony orchestra

in your undershorts?

This isn't about me.

Sometimes they reoccur,
and that's uncomfortable.

Well, it's understandable.
You're a captain.

Captain Boxer Shorts?

I hate this.

What, Jai alai?

No, being a "B."

A bee?

"Bee" as in what?
"Bee" as in "bumble"?

As in "book report."
When I was in school,

I always had
to give mine first.

Right after Adelson
and Annatelli was Brody.

Exchange input.
That's third.

Yeah, well,
it felt like first.

Dr. Smith is
just updating the crew's
psychological profiles, Jim.

It's not like
you're gonna remember

that you k*lled
the paperboy or something.

That's easy for you to say.
I mean, you're a Wolenczak,

a "W." By that time,
the teachers were asleep.

I mean,
why do we have to do this,

lay on the couch
like some loon?

I mean,
talk therapy went out

with group sharing
and past-life recollections.

Yeah, you know,
I think I was...

Player one eliminated.

...Fred Flintstone
in a past life.

You can't be a cartoon
in a past life.
It's like the movies.

It'd be like saying
you were Johnny Depp
in a past life.

Yeah, you know,
I might have been,
though, actually,

because I remember I had
an awful lot of girlfriends.

He's still alive, genius.

But I know
I was a caveman.

We were all cavemen.

I mean, this stuff
goes in our file.
It's serious.

Not if you've got
nothing to hide.

I've got
nothing to hide.

I just don't like
remembering stuff
I've been trying to forget.

Guy's in serious denial.

I think this guy needs
to see a shrink. Hey.

Okay, we all
have to do this.

What are you
looking at?

Nothing.

You're next, Lucas.

Uh, Doctor,
whatever happened
to the "B's"?

Well, we'll talk about them
along with the birds.

How does that sound?

Embarrassing.

Would you tell
Dagwood he's next?

I didn't know he had
to do this. He's a GELF.
I gave him the day off.

I have discovered
the great ray that first
brought life into the world.

At first,
I experimented only
with dead animals

and then a human heart,
which I kept b*ating
for three weeks,

but now I'm going to turn
that ray on that body

and endow it with life.

And you really believe
that you can bring
life to the dead?

That body is not dead.

Are you my father?

Let me
look at you.

Are you my father?

In the biblical sense, no.

I'm afraid
we have put
away the Bible.

Who is my father?

Need someone to take
you fishing, do you?

Tell you
the facts of life?

There are
no facts of life.

There is
only fiction.

But I am
the closest thing
you have to a father.

I made you.

It looks like
you've turned
into a fine young man.

No, I haven't.

You're too hard
on yourself, son.

You have blood
and bone and muscle.

You have a brain.

But I don't
have a heart.

You have a heart, son,
but I'm afraid it beats
as black as mine.

, , ! Hut! Hut!

It always ended the same way.
I never scored the touchdown.

I always dropped
the ball. It was...

It's like I'm underwater,
like I can't...
I can't move fast enough.

Often, that can mean
one is frustrated
over some issue.

No, I'm hardly
frustrated, Doctor.

You never wanted
to play football?

No, my father wanted me
to play football.

He was the one
who was frustrated.
He kept harping on it.

"Take advantage
of your God-given talents."

I wanted to go
to the Naval Academy.
It was so...

Frustrating?

Okay. Okay,
but he didn't want me
to play against nuns.

We weren't even Catholic.

Captain, this is
a private session.

Dag has been
arrested for m*rder.

Wilhelm Brown
was to be this March,

but he will not be
celebrating that birthday.

The good doctor
won't be able to sit out
on his front porch

and reflect on
an esteemed career
in genetics.

He won't be able to play golf,
make love or laugh.

Doctor Brown is dead.

DNA samples taken
from the scene match
the suspect exactly.

Skin cells and
the fingerprints, perfectly.

We have all watched
the security video
from the victim's home.

It was not
a computer generation.

So you have all
seen the m*rder*r,
ladies and gentlemen,

and he sits
in this room.

An unfortunate man? Maybe.

Maybe you don't even believe
he is really a man.

He's an Alpha Model K,
created, coincidentally
enough, by the deceased.

Was this an act
of revenge?

Maybe.

But it doesn't matter.

All that matters is
an innocent man is dead,
and another man k*lled him,

an Alpha Model K,

but, man or monster,

he must pay.

Dagwood, you have
to take the stand.

Okay, David.

Thank God.

Where should I take it?

Dagwood, if you didn't do it,
now is the time to say that.

I didn't do it.

No, not to me,
to the jury.

Why?

Because they think
you did it.

But I didn't.

Then who did do it?

The man on the wall picture.

The man
on the wall picture
is you, Dagwood.

I know.
How does it do that?

This is ridiculous.

Do you think
Dagwood did it,
sir, Captain?

I don't know.

I do. I didn't.

You have to remember
where you were
the night the man was k*lled.

No one told me
I had to remember.

I would've remembered
if you told me to remember,
sir, Captain.

Why do people wear these?

Supposed to make us
look better.

Does Dagwood look better?

You look fine.

Mmm, good.

Will the defendant
please stand?

We have found the defendant
guilty of m*rder
in the first degree.

Thank you.

Would the defendant care
to address the court
before sentencing?

A dress? It's a suit.

Would you like
to say something?

Yes.

Then say it.

Stand up.

The man
on the wall picture
who k*lled the man

is not the same man
that I am here
in front of you now.

That man is a different man.

You've changed?

No.

Then what are you saying?

Dagwood is saying
that I am a different man.

Yes, I'm afraid you are,

and this court has no recourse
but to incarcerate you

for the remainder
of your natural life

in the UEO Prison
for the Criminally Insane.

Is that a long time?

It's not fair.
It just isn't fair.

Oh, come on, Lucas,
he k*lled a man.
They got it on tape.

But he wouldn't do that.

Hey, maybe Dagwood blew
some kind of genetic fuse
in his head.

I mean, the guy's, like,
been using this fake brain.

It's not fake, Tony.
It's genetically engineered.

Piccolo, I thought
you liked Dagwood.

I do, but if Dagwood was
a new car, come on, he'd have
been recalled to the dealer.

I don't believe it,
either, Lucas.

It doesn't matter.

Dagwood's going
to the House of Many Doors
for life.

Life? How can they even
sentence him to life?

They don't even know
how long an Alpha Model K
will live.

He stops breathing,
they let him out.

Sixty hundred
and seventy-six, sixty hundred
and seventy-seven,

sixty hundred
and seventy-nine,
sixty hundred and seventy-ten,

sixty hundred and seventy-one,
sixty hundred and seventy-two.

And seventy-two.

There are sixty hundred
and seventy-two dots
on each square on the ceiling.

Dagwood is learning
to count to learn how long
to be criminally insane.

Why is it like that?

It's called justice.

A man has been k*lled,

and this is the way
society demands
that the debt be paid.

No, why are there
sixty hundred and seventy-two
dots on the ceiling squares?

Do you know
what a jail is?

Dagwood has
always been in jail.

This one just keeps
people behind bars.

Mine just
keeps me different,

but it's the same jail.

Said prisoner must be
in the custody of m*llitary
police escorts at all times.

Prisoner is
allowed two meals
at nutritional standards.

Prisoner is allowed access
to toilet facilities
twice daily

in the direct supervision
of transport chaperone.

Prisoner is not allowed
to recreate, procreate,
engage in sex, drive,

attend public gatherings,
gamble, smoke, or drink
alcohol. Clear?

We know how
this works.

Don't matter.
This ape takes a hike
on you, it's my ass.

He's not an ape.

He's a Dagger, so don't
take him to a gin mill.
Scares the drunks.

He's not an animal.

Convicted m*rder*r.
It's my job to pack 'em up.

He's your crewmate.
It's your job to take him.

You got hours
to do just that.

Holding barrier disengaged.
Prisoner coming through.

Hi, Jim.
Hi, Jonathan.

I don't want to sit down,
okay? I want to stand.
Standing is what I want to do.

You might be
more comfortable.

Comfortable?

I... I don't want
to be comfortable.

What is this
"comfortable" stuff?

I mean, Dagwood
is going to jail,

and you want me
to talk about whether
or not I ever wet the bed?

Well, I didn't, okay?

My parents are divorced,
and when it came to denial,

my mother was
the riverboat queen.
So can I go now, Doctor?

I know you're upset, Lucas.

Upset?

No. No, try angry
because nobody
seems to care

that an innocent guy,
one of our crew,

is going to jail for a crime
he didn't even commit.

In light of the evidence,
that's hard to believe.

Look, lots of things
are hard to believe,

but it's our job
as scientists not to go
with the easy answers.

I mean, if we did that,
we'd all have polio.

When something
this tragic happens,

when someone you know
does something terrible,

horribly unpredictable,
it can be very frightening.

Some of us might be afraid
that we could lose
the same kind of control,

do the same kind of thing.

Don't get
carried away, Doctor.

I mean, in the first grade,
I punched out Dwight Herman

for stealing
a cardboard Santa Claus,

but he had it coming.

That was once.
Dagwood has to go
twice, right?

Well, you can go
as many times
as you want, buddy.

Hmm. What if
I don't have to?

Well, that's okay, too.

Dagwood!
Stop! Don't!

Thank you, mister.

You're welcome.

Dagwood, if you're gonna do
something like that,
you gotta let me know.

Sorry.

Hey, mister,
why are you like that?

They think I'm bad.

Are you?

No. Are you?

Uh-uh.
Know what I can do?

Uh-uh.

I can do this.

Know what I can do?

Uh-uh.

I can do this.

Don't do that, mister.

It's okay.
I didn't know I could.

It feels good.

Don't you ever talk
to someone like that!
Do you hear me? Do you? Ever!

It's all right, ma'am.

I saw that monster
on television.

Don't you tell me
it's all right!

I think she liked me.

This duty sucks.

Yeah, tell me about it.

He didn't do it, did he?

Darwin doesn't know.

If he didn't do it,
who did?

Darwin different.
Dagwood different.

Sometimes different Darwins.

Sometimes different Dagwoods.

All guards
must have ID transponders
engaged at all times.

I'd only heard
about this place.

Yeah.

But I didn't think
it was gonna be this bad.

It looks like hell.

Is this where Dagwood
is going to live now?

I can't do this, man.
Not now. Not yet.

Prisoner transfer
in progress, section five.

Guy's never
had a life, Jim.

I know.

You know, we aren't
due in till tomorrow.

You're the officer in charge.

Dagwood, is there
anything you've ever
really wanted to do?

No.

Nothing?

Nothing is something
that Dagwood
has already done.

I bet you've never been
on a Ferris wheel.

What is "Ferris wheel"?

Hey, sorry, pal.
He can't go on.

You're open, right?

Just about. The rainbow
with the handcuffs
can't get on.

Come on, pal. Why not?

Can't ride the rides
in leg irons and handcuffs.
Says so in the manual.

Could you
make an exception?

What happens if I get
a systems failure?
He's got to climb off.

Hanging upside down
like some banana,

fire department's
here, medics. Then what?

What if I remove
the handcuffs?

What is this, poker?

Can I trust you?

Yes.

That's that k*ller guy
I saw on TV, right?

Yeah.

You wouldn't think
they'd like Ferris wheels,
would you?

The gentleman
might find lobster
more to his liking

if he were to take it
out of the shell.

You ought to see
this guy rotate tires.

Doesn't even need a jack.

That's it. That's it.
Just go easy. Go easy.

Dagwood is driving.

Yeah, sort of.

Okay, now step on the brake.

The brake!
That's not the brake!

You said
it was the brake.

No, the brake's
in the middle.
That's the gas!

Where's the middle?

It's the one
between the other things!

Other things?

No!

Fun.

Wait till you try it
on the street.

I'm not in
the charity business.

You want that,
go to Social Services.

Just a dance, okay?
The guy's never even danced
with a girl before.

What's wrong with him?

Nothing. Well, not really.

"Not really" doesn't sound
like nothing to me.

Ask Sheila.
She likes to dance.

Sheila.

Uh-uh. No way, honey.

Oh, come on.
Just a dance.

Sorry, no Daggers.

It's okay,
you know, not dancing.

The other things
were very nice.
Thank you.

You're welcome, Dagwood.

This stinks. He's going
to the can forever,

and he's never even
been kissed.

Maybe Dagwood
will get kissed
in the can.

Count on it.

You know, we have
to turn him over at dawn.

Which gives us
about six hours.

You know, I know
of this one girl
that just might, well...

Who?

Hello, Dagwood.

Oh.

I thought
this was the place
for dancing.

It is.

What are you doing here?

Get down! Stay away!

Get out of here!

Hey!
Somebody stop him!
Do something!

He's crazy!

Let's get out of here!

Pull over! Pull over
to the side immediately!

It's that Dagger!

sh**t out the tires!

Dagwood?

Oh, God. Dagwood!

Ford, Brody,
wake up! He's gone!

Who?
Dagwood.

He's gone?
What happened?

I fell asleep.

You fell asleep?

Oh, we were dancing,
and then...

I fell asleep.

Dancing, like you said.
That was it, okay?

Oh, man.

Where the hell is he?

That's him, the k*ller!
It's the Dagger!

Commander, I don't want
to hear how it happened.

I want to know
why it happened.

I mean, he was
in your charge, and rightly
or wrongly, a prisoner.

I know, sir. I'm sorry.
It was a mistake.

But Dagwood's
never had a life,
and we thought...

And you thought what?

Well, we thought
we'd give him one, even
if it was only for a night.

Yeah, well, you gave him one.

He didn't do it, Nathan.

Why do you think that?

Well, I did a scan on Dagwood,
and the only thing I got
was a frightened child.

Frightened children
don't k*ll people.

I wish that that were true.

The GELF identified as
the escapee convicted of
murdering Dr. Wilhelm Brown,

formerly one
of the world's leading
genetic engineers,

att*cked the diner's patrons
early this morning.

Authorities have
advised the suspect
is extremely dangerous,

and a statewide
sh**t-on-sight order
has been issued.

Police are urging
all local residents

to stay in their homes
tonight, although they...

Remember, remember, remember,
remember, remember, remember,

remember, remember, remember,
remember, remember...

Dagwood remembers.

Come in.

I'm sorry, sir.
Lucas is missing.

Don't tell me this.

He was really upset
about Dagwood, sir.

We think he took
your motorcycle.

Dagwood. Thank God.
Look, I know you're scared,

but you've got
to give yourself up.
They're gonna k*ll you.

Take me home.

I can't.

You've got
to turn yourself in.

Take me home.

Dagwood, I'm your friend.

Take me home!

I've got a position
on your motorcycle, sir.
It's the Gen-U-Flect lab.

The place closed down
about six years ago.

Get this information
to Commander Ford and Brody.

Aye, aye, sir.

And, O'Neill, tell them to use
whatever force is necessary.

Yes, sir.

Lucas?

Lucas?

No. No, go away!

Someone hurt Lucas?

Leave me alone.

Lucas doesn't like
Dagwood anymore?

You almost
k*lled me, Dagwood.

No, Lucas is my...

Please. Please.

...friend.

Have to go
to the beginning place.

My family.

The Dagwood that is me.

Dagwood!

Lucas, run!

You need help!

Only Dagwood
can help Dagwood!

Where is he?
He's in there.

There's two of them.

Two Dagwoods?

It was the other one
that k*lled Dr. Brown.

Watch it!

There he is.

Don't.

Which one are you?

She taught Dagwood
how to dance.

Well, you know,
just a couple of steps.

Come on, Dagwood.
Let's go home.

Home.

I didn't say
I didn't like Dagwood!
I said he had a fake brain.

You don't think
that's hostile?

Hostile? No, hostile's like
when I flatten a guy 'cause
he looks at me the wrong way.

I mean, I like Dagwood.
He could use a new paint job,

but, hey, some people
could use a new hairdo,
you know?

Don't worry about it, Doc.
You're a heartbreaker.

Gee, the time flies
like the wind, huh?

Yes, it does.

And fruit flies like bananas.

So we don't want
to bill Uncle Sam overtime

on account of this brain,
right? See you.

Next!

Okay, when I was , I stole
my uncle's coin collection,

but I was only years old,
you know? I mean,
I knew it was wrong,

but I really wanted to buy
some comic books, and, well,
something came over me, and...

Lieutenant Brody.

What?

We don't do this
lying down anymore.

I knew that.

Is this for me?

Makes people
look better.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Dagwood?

Why did you
run away that night?

Before, Dagwood
didn't have a life,

but then he did.

I wanted to keep it.

Dagwood has been kissed.

Hi, I'm
Edward Kerr,
and I'm here

with some
of the ocean's
most elegant

and misunderstood
sea animals,
the stingray.

With their flexible
cartilage body,

stingrays are
close relatives
to the shark,

but unlike
sharks, they have
no real teeth,

and only a long
barbed tail
for defense.

Stingrays often
bury themselves
in sand

and sit
in shallow water.

To keep
from stepping
on a stingray,

drag your feet
as you walk
in the ocean.

This is called
the Stingray Shuffle,

and it may
help you avoid
accidental contact

with these
beautiful
sea animals.

See you on our
next adventure
of seaQuest.