02x17 - Watergate

[bunniefuu]

How come
you always give me
this kind of duty?

Because I'm your
commanding officer.

Come on.
When I signed on
to seaQuest,

I thought it was gonna
be about science,
not entertainment.

Well, when it's
not about science,

it can be
very entertaining.

Besides, you come
from a show biz
family, Miguel.

Your dad was
in television.

My father was
a television repairman.

Besides, the USO show?

Come on, seaQuest
isn't a tour bus,
I'm not a tour guide.

Why doesn't she
take a plane?

Well, Miss Toenin believes
the air space is the
sovereign domain of birds.

She's an environmentalist.

She's a nut, Commander.

Last year
she married a tree.

Well, you get to do
stuff like that
when you're a big rock star.

You ever hear her music?

That cutesy, New Agey,

I'm-your-buddy-hug-me
kind of thing with that
milkshake voice of hers?

Comes with a warning
from the Surgeon General.

The troops stationed
on Solitaire Island

deserve a little
R and R, Miguel.

They're surrounded
by white sand
and palm trees.

Give it up.

You might even like her.
She's cute.

Fat chance.

I'm a meat-eater.

Solitaire's weight
should be consistent
with our projections,

given the traditional
Mediterranean land masses,

but I've been running
the numbers,

I still haven't gotten
a figure that
makes any sense yet.

Hey, what difference
does it make how much
an island weighs?

I mean, doesn't that
kind of fall
into the category of

how many strippers
can dance
on a barroom table?

That's angels on
the head of a pin, Tony.

Actually, you know,
Solitaire is not an island,
Tony, it's a mountain.

It's one of
the tallest in the world.

I mean, if you put it
next to Mount Everest,

it'd be
almost twice the size.

That's high, right?

For most of us, yeah.

But why weigh it?

Because it's sinking.

Three meters
every hundred years.

The land mass is too heavy
to be supported by
the earth's superstructure,

and the whole region
is becoming
seismically unstable.

So in about a million years,
the whole place
is gonna be under water.

There goes
the real estate market.

Hey, guys, come on.

The universe is
expanding, too.

One day...

Bang!

Lt'll break apart.

The big bye-bye.

Our planet host,
cosmic toast,

so what's the point
of living, right?

Life is senseless,
fool's folly,

a moment's sunlight
fading on the grass,

a biological coincidence
failing in
some distant future dawn.

Yeah, I tried using that
one to get out of doing
my science homework.

No one bought it
back then, either.

Tony, could you
go lie down,
or something?

So, O'Neill, why...

What are
we gonna do about it?

Oh, well, seaQuest is
going to core through
the mountain like an apple.

We're going to start
digging at the base,

we're going to laser-scrub
the interior, dredge
it out, lighten it up.

I thought it was going
to be something hard.

Like spelling.

Oh, relax.

It'll take at least
a hundred years.

SeaQuest's job is just
to start the first step.

SeaQuest,
this is UEO VIP Shuttle .

We're at approach speed.
Request clearance
for a final docking.

Affirmative,
Shuttle .

You're cleared
to Docking Bay .

VIP Shuttle has arrived
at Docking Bay .

VIP Shuttle has arrived,
Docking Bay .

Miss Toenin?

Sarah. Hi.

Hi.

Sensor Chief Ortiz.

Don't tell me
I have to
call you Sensor?

No. Miguel, Mike, Teez.

Whatever.

Where's the rest
of your entourage?

This is it.

Thanks for
giving me a lift, though.

Sure.

Here, let me
get that for you.

I've got it. Thanks.

You know,
I've recently become
a very big fan of yours.

Well, that's nice.
Thank you.

Yeah, I really love
that one song you do.

The one they're playing,
which one is it?

Power Love?

No, the one with the
guitar in the middle,
the guitar thing.

Oh. Keeper of the Flame?

No.

You know,
the one about the people
who don't know each other,

but fall in love
anyway.

Sleepless Nights.

Yeah, that's it.

It's not my song.

Nice try, though.

Hey, took a sh*t.

I'm still not getting
a weight estimate
consistent with the data.

Did you try rotating
the composites?

Yeah.

This can't be right.

What?

Well, you see
these figures?
Yeah.

They support
that it's hollow.

The island?

It's a mountain,
Homer.

Lucas, this data
doesn't suggest
it's volcanic.

No, no, it suggests
that it's man-made.

I mean, it's got
predictable geometry,

the computer's been
extrapolating the form.

It looks like
a pyramid.

Mmm-hmm.

What do you mean,
like in Egypt?

Yeah.

Encrusted with
millions of years
of soil and rock,

but that's what
it appears to be.

Is that good?

It depends
on who built it.

A pyramid?

Well, yeah, sort of.

I mean, that's
what it looks like.

Well, that is
its mathematical
shape, Captain.

This thing is
the size of Manhattan.

That's a little
preposterous,
don't you think?

It's very preposterous.

And it's the size of Ohio.

Yes.

And the sun is
pulled across the sky
by a chariot,

and Lee Harvey Oswald
acted alone.

Okay, look, we don't know
it's man-made, exactly,

but its
mathematical values
are correct.

You don't find that
in nature.

I mean, the pyramid
is perfect, Captain.

I ran the measurements
all the way to
the end of my computer,

and they come
as close as
I can get to infinity.

Perfect math?

In theory, yeah.

But we don't have
the capabilities yet,
so I can only speculate.

How old
do you think it is?

Old.

I've been trying
to carbon-date
our lab samples,

but the data keeps
coming up goose eggs.

If I had to put
a date on it,

Well, I'd say that
it pre-dates time, sir.

Yeah.

The first thing
before the very beginning
of the very first thing.

I got the concept,
Lieutenant.

Aye, sir.

To ease her grief
with comfort

To say

Something

To turn her hurt
and pain away

Sighs...

Come on in.

Hi.

Hi.

I didn't see you at mess,
so I thought
you might be hungry.

Thank you.

Just let me
finish this, okay?

Oh, I'll leave.

No, stay, please.

His heart being moved

By his great love,
most deeply

And still
the gods give orders

He obeys them

He goes back

To his fleet

That was beautiful.

Thank you.

It's a little new yet,
but, we'll see.

No, I mean it.
It was.

Did you just write that?
Like just now?

Sort of, yeah.

Sometimes they just
kind of come out.

But this one, God knows
where it's coming from.

It feels really old.

Like Pearl Jam.

Almost ancient.

But I feel as if
I have to write it,
you know?

Like it's the reason
I'm taking seaQuest
to Solitaire

instead of a plane.

I thought you didn't fly
because of the birds.

I don't fly because
it makes me throw up.

You...
You're not really a fan,
are you?

What, are you kidding?

Huge.

Actually,
I'm a bit of a banger.

You know, like if
your ears aren't bleeding,
it isn't music.

But I think
it's really nice
what you're doing,

performing for the troops,
and all.

Well, it'd be nicer
if we didn't need them.

But until then,
I guess someone has to
sing for the soldiers.

Yeah.

You know, if anyone
wants to hear me rehearse,
that's fine with me.

I enjoy playing
in front of people.
It keeps me honest.

Well, that'd be nice.
I'll spread it around.

Thanks.

Did you really
marry a tree?

No. That was just
a one-night stand.

I don't know
what the big deal is.

I mean, Sarah Toenin?

Please.

Well, maybe
Nora Pinnefrin was
already taken.

You know, the media gets
a hold of some kid,

hands them a guitar,

gives them some name
cooler than
cool ever was,

and we're supposed
to think she has
all the answers to life.

She's not even
that pretty.

And I think
she's older
than she says.

Twenty-three?

No way.

Ooh, don't
sugarcoat it for me.

Tell me
how you really feel.

Do you like her music?

Yeah, I do.

Why?

It comes from the heart.
I think it's honest.

It comes from
a team of songwriters

locked in
some room somewhere,

who write exactly
the stuff everyone
wants to listen to,

and then they say
she wrote it.

Come on, Wendy,
it's all colored lights
and hype.

What's up with you?

What?
You're not like this.

You don't even
know this lady,

and you've done
nothing but trash her

since you heard
she was coming aboard.

I have not.
I'm just not a fan.

I think you're jealous.

Come on.

I do.

Hardly.

Then stop pounding
on her, okay?

Maybe it's about
God, Captain.

You don't mean
the old bearded guy
with the big golden book?

How else could
one explain
such a phenomenon?

A pyramid that size,
apparently ageless,

it's incomprehensible.

Well, I usually like
to save the God answer
for the last resort.

But we all believe
in him, don't we?

I mean, in our own way,
perhaps, but we do.

And even if
we are scientists,

an argument can be made
that science is God.

Or God is science.

I've never asked you
this before,

but are you religious?

Well, in that I have faith,
you could say so, yes.

I always find it amusing
that there are such
specific differences.

The same God
wearing so many hats.

A thousand religions
confusing the same man.

Which religion
are you, Nathan?

My own, I guess.

I believe in a unity
and purpose
in the cosmos,

and on occasion,
I call that God.

Seismic activity
is arising in
the southwest quadrant.

The region
is unusually unstable,
given preexisting data.

Seismic indicators
have increased %.

Looks like we've got
an undersea earthquake
on our hands.

To ease her grief
with comfort

To say

Something

To turn her hurt
and pain away

Sighs often

Is this lady great
or what?

Sure, if you like
that cutesy

hug-your-buddy-love-me
kind of thing, yeah.

I'm just listening
to it from a different
perspective now.

I didn't know
that perspective
had ears.

Lady's a genius.

With great legs.

Hey, everybody's gotta
stand on something, Tim.

Sit, sit.

He obeys them

He goes back

To his fleet

To his fleet

Is this is the part
where we clap?

I hope so.
I'm falling asleep here.

Thank you.

Come on, lady,
rock the house!

I haven't heard
this one.

What album
is it off of?

You don't
want to know.

No, no.

No, please.
I don't want to go.

No, I don't want to.
No.

It's okay, it's okay.

You're fine.

What happened?

You fainted.

I did?

I never faint.

Well, you did.
Right in the middle
of your performance.

What language was that?

The words you were chanting,
it was in another language.

It sounded almost
like a man's voice.

It's quite a range.

Is it new?

But I only sing
with my voice.

Well, then you have
a hell of a baritone.

I think you're suffering
from exhaustion.

How's your diet?

It's awful.

Don't start.

Roots and berries?

What she needs
is a cattle
fanny sandwich.

How you feeling?

A little spooky,
but I'll be okay.

You two know each other?

Yeah. I'm running
for president
of Sarah's fan club.

You know,
love the singer,
hate the song.

You scared the bananas
out of Piccolo.

He was waiting for your head
to start spinning around.

But, hey, I'm a banger.
I loved it.

Let's not get
carried away here, guys.

I mean, she's a rock star.

They stay up all night,

they pierce themselves
with safety pins,

they get tattoos,
they trash hotel rooms.

I mean,
the lady fainted.
Big deal.

Yeah, yeah, maybe.

But that weird voice
spewing out
that language,

it sounded
like the Devil.

Come on,
one of those rock guys

used to bite
chicken's heads off
on stage.

I recognized the language.

Yeah,
and the translation is

"Buy my album,
send me money."

That's not exactly
the translation.

It's obviously Greek,
but the language
is ancient.

It's over
, years old.

It's the language
of the Greek myths.

You know,
Apollo's tongue,
so to speak.

That is,
if you believe in Apollo.

Do you?

I'm Catholic, Captain.
I believe in anything
that makes me nervous.

What was she saying?

Well...

Okay.

"That is, that has been,
and all that
is about to be,

"knows all by
the God Neptune's
grace,

"whose herd of monsters
and hideous seals

"he pastures
in meadows submarine."

That's it?

It's all I could get.

What do you think
it means?

I'm not sure.

Well, maybe we have to
play it backwards.

You know, I mean,
bands do backward masking
all the time.

Sing a bunch of
satanic stuff to freak out
everybody's parents.

Lucas, Neptune
isn't about Satan,

he was a Greek god
of the sea.

He wasn't a bad god.

Anyway, Neptune predates
the Devil and Christianity.

He also invented
the horse.

He invented the horse?

Hey, I didn't write it,
I just read it
in high school.

He's also the god
of earthquakes.

He'd stick his trident
in the ground
and shake it.

Oh, that's very scientific.

Let's hope he doesn't
flush the toilet.

Captain, I've been
monitoring the Solitaire.

The seismic activity
is increasing.

Guys, come on.
A lady fainted.

Or she was channeling.

Communicating to us
from somewhere far beyond.

Far beyond what?

I don't know.

Time, space,
another dimension.
I don't know.

This is getting ridiculous.
What's next,
the Headless Horseman?

It's not so ridiculous,
Commander.

There have been
many instances
of channeling

that people
can't disprove.

I remember one time
seeing a guy

who claimed he could
communicate with
Abraham Lincoln's wife.

Really?

How did
she enjoy the play?

You know, people
have been wondering
that for years.

Hello, horsey.

Lucas, you awake?

No.

Well, get up.

Why?

Because I want to
tell you a story

about somebody
knocking at your door.

Since when is it
my door?

Since technically
I'm still a guest here.

Yeah.

And like fish,
they start to smell
after three days.

I should have stayed
in the brig.

At least there
you can get some sleep
and nobody insults you.

What?
Wha...

Were you sleeping?

Yeah.
It's an odd habit
I had since birth.

Dagwood saw a horse.

Huh?

That's good, Dagwood.
Thank you.

It was running
in the hallway.

The hallway?

Mmm-hmm. A white one.

When did seaQuest
get a horse?

SeaQuest doesn't
have a horse.

We have a dolphin.

Yeah, but not a horse.

A horse is a horse.

Of course, of course.

It was running down
the hallway?

Mmm-hmm.
It was very fast.

Did it have a jockey?

Tony...

Maybe I want to
put down a bet.

Look, Dagwood,
go to sleep, all right?

There aren't any horses
on seaQuest.

At least,
not a whole one.

I think
that was it again.

Are you okay?

What the hell
happened?

There was a horse
in my room.

See, I told you.
I bet it was
a big white one.

And I had snakes
growing out of my head.

You had what?

Snakes growing
out of my head.

Out of your head?

Yeah.

Did it hurt?

No.

It felt like I was dead.

Oh.

What's this?

Next time,
you open the door.

Warning, Code .

Vital signs have fallen
below acceptable limits.

Double stat alert
in Med Bay !

Double stat alert
in Med Bay !

Blood pressure
over .

Pulse is still less
than .

She's been like this
for too long.

I think
we're losing her.

Or she's in
some kind of stasis.

Oh, man,
I hate this part.

That's it, Sarah,
hang on.

What the hell happened?

I think Sarah was dead.

Dead?

- Yeah.
- That's unbelievable.

Yeah, but now she's not.
Her stats are normal.

Thank God.

I'm glad.

Are you?

Wendy, of course.

I mean, so I'm not nuts
about this lady's music,

but I am human.

You said you had snakes
growing out of your head.

I had a nightmare.
Big deal.

And the horse?

It was a big nightmare.

Look, I want to go,
okay?

I feel fine.

You sure?

Yeah.

Okay, Ortiz,
would you walk her back
to her quarters?

Sure.

I'd like that.
Thanks.

Well, the particle breakdown
is pretty standard.

It's marble.

I'm searching for a type,
a quarry location,

but it appears to
be your basic
pulverized marble.

That was the horse.

Well, it could have been
a hallucination, Captain.

I mean, that bug
seems to be going
around here on seaQuest.

Yeah, the horse, maybe.

But where'd
the marble come from?

Well, that's a pretty
common stone.

Not this one.

This type of marble
is what sculptors use
for statues.

Exactly.
That's what I meant
by common, Lucas.

In ancient Greece.

According to
my initial readout,

the marble was mined
from a quarry miles
south of Athens,

, years ago.

Marathon.

Yeah. miles,
yards.

A messenger named
Pheidippides

ran that distance
with the news

that the Greek army
was victorious
over the Persians,

and that was
the first marathon.

It was the beginning
of the Olympics.

Okay, so the Greeks
were responsible for
more than democracy.

But the freeze-dried horse?

Why don't we just
add water and follow
it back to the barn?

Skepticism could be
a tool, Commander.
Don't hide behind it.

This one's got me scared.

Take WSKRS down
to ,.

WSKRS status?

At ,, at .

All right.
Piccolo, ahead full.

Take seaQuest to
the base of Solitaire.

I want to get a close look
at this island.

Aye, aye.

O'Neill, it's a mountain.

I know, Jim.

I'm just saying.

Tony, ahead full.

Why?

Because the Captain
put me in charge,
that's why.

So do it, please.

I'm gonna do it.
I'm just asking why.

Because I'm getting
seismic readings

that are going off
the chart here,
that's why.

You know, I always
hate when it's
a reason like that.

Gonna raise hell
with the USO show.

There won't be
a USO show.

You know, I wonder
if they give refunds

when the entertainer
gets possessed.

Ladies and gentlemen,

Miss Toenin has
left the auditorium
permanently.

What does she do
for an encore,
burst into flames?

I wish.

Looks like this island
is just about
to break apart.

Warning,
seismic indicators
have exceeded normal limits.

You better
get the Captain.

So, you've really
become a fan, huh?

Yeah, well, I guess.

I kind of like
her music now.

No, you don't.

Okay, I don't.

But you think
she's pretty.

She's okay.

She's not that pretty.

Do you think
she's prettier than me?

What do you mean?

It's a simple question.

Is Sarah, that girl
in the Med Bay,

prettier than me,
your friend
and crewmate?

I don't know.

She's not.
I'm prettier.

Okay.
I am.

That's fine.
I really don't have
an opinion.

Yes, you do.
What is this?

I mean, you're both
gorgeous, okay?

I can't sleep at night,
I'm surrounded by
so many gorgeous women.

No, tell me
I'm prettier.

Hold on, this is getting
a little stupid,
don't you think?

Oh, so now I'm stupid?

That's not what I meant.

Then say it.
What?

That I'm prettier.

Okay, you're prettier.

Do you want to come in?

No, not really.

Why not?

Because this conversation's
getting a little strange.

That's against regulation.

So confine me
to my quarters.

Hey, stop it, okay?

I don't want
to kiss you.

Brody, contact Solitaire.

They have to evacuate
the entire island
immediately.

Aye, aye, Captain.

This is seaQuest.
We have
an emergency alert.

Evacuate Solitaire.
Imminent earthquake.

Repeat, evacuate Solitaire.
Earthquake imminent.

All personnel
execute Evac Plan Bravo.

All personnel execute
Evac Plan Bravo.

Let's get out of here.

Full port rudder.

Full ahead.

Captain, we're
losing ground.

Blast all ballast.

Ballast away.

It's no help, Captain.
It's still
drawing us in.

Brace yourselves,
people.

This is a very big room.

Very cool.

Personally, I like
my very cool
a little smaller.

What do we do, Captain?

I don't know.

I'm gonna say a prayer.

You got one
for me, O'Neill?

Sure.

Me, too, Tim.

Any thoughts?

Not a one.

I'm sorry, Miguel.

I don't know
what came over me.

O'Neill, can you
read that inscription?

Working on it, sir.

Oh, my God.

What?

It's Sarah.

Oh, my God, it is.

I've got it, Captain.

It's the tomb
of Minerva.

Minerva?

Yeah.

She was an ancient
Greek goddess.

She was in love
with Neptune,

but after Neptune
ravaged Medusa
in Minerva's temple,

Minerva got revenge
by turning Medusa's hair
into a bed of snakes.

Anyone who looked
at Medusa after that
was turned to stone.

The inscription's
a warning,

to keep Minerva's tomb
undisturbed for eternity.

I think we can do that.
Let's go, huh?

Put it in reverse
and floor it, right?

Uh-oh, too late.

Who is that man?

That's Neptune.

God of the undersea.

I hope he's nice.

I hope he's not hungry.

So what does he want?

He wants me.

It's why I'm here.

He thinks you're Medusa.

Tell him I'm not.

It's why you were jealous
about Miguel and me.

That part of you
thought he was Neptune.

Medusa was in love
with him, too.

Neptune?

I'm Cuban.

Why do you think
that, Sarah?

I just know it.

He wants us
to come home.

I don't want to go.

I don't think
we have a choice.

I think we do.

O'Neill, let's go red alert.

Aye, aye, sir.

Commander, battle stations.

Half ahead.

Aye, Captain.

Where to?

We're going right
at that tomb.

We can't take on
a god, Captain.

I don't think we have to.

If he wants Minerva,
let's see what happens
if we give her to him.

Fix coordinates, Commander.

Coordinates fixed.

Arm first barrage.

Stand by second barrage.

Warheads at maximum.

All engines
at full ahead.

Fire first barrage.

Fire second barrage!

Okay, so now we can
get out of here, right?

Rudders to port.

Engines full ahead.

Captain, I really
think you should give
this some more thought.

I've given it
some thought.

A lot more thought.

I'm filing the report,
Commander.

What's it
going to say?

It's going to say
on a routine mission,

seaQuest encountered
what was obviously
an apparition of Neptune.

You're not really
going to say that,
are you, Captain?

Wait a minute.
It's the truth.

I know.

But in the wrong hands,
the truth can be like
a hammer.

Does my name
have to go on it?

My name's going on it.
What's the problem?

Something like this
goes on our record,

say in years,
I want to run
for President...

What?

The press is going
to make me look
like a lunatic.

How come I always knew
you wanted
to run for President?

Why can't we say

it was an apparition
of undefined origin,
or something?

It was Neptune,
Commander.

You're right,
the guy who invented
the horse.

That's the guy.

Look, don't worry,
Jonathan.

I'll vote for you.

To ease her grief
with comfort

To say

Something

To turn her hurt
and pain away

Sighs often

She really is beautiful,
isn't she?

She's okay.

Thanks, Miguel.

Being moved
by his great love,
most deeply

Hey,
you two, how about
watching the show?

And still the gods
give orders

He obeys them

He goes back

To his fleet

To his fleet

By night, by day

The portals of darkness

Stand open

It is easy by descending

Down to all the news

His heart being moved

By his great love,
most deeply

And still the gods
give orders

He obeys them

He goes back

To his fleet

To his fleet

Hi, I'm Don Franklin,
and these are lionfish,

one of the ocean's
most beautiful and
more deadly inhabitants.

The lionfish is
a member of
the scorpion fish family,

which includes
the stone and toadfish.

All have
one common attribute,
venomous spines.

Although they can be
deadly to humans,

these venomous spines
are not only a life-saver
to the lion fish,

but used to corner
and k*ll smaller fish.

These exotic predators
are native to shallow
Indo-Pacific waters,

but are popular
in many
saltwater aquariums.

See you on
the next adventure
of seaQuest.