05x10 - Labor Pains

[bunniefuu]

[ crickets chirping ]

Oh! Oh!

Here are the copies
Of the contract proposal.

Thanks, denise.

Stump. Richie.

I think the rank and file
Of your union

Will find this
A very fair contract.

As far as the workingman
Is concerned,

There ain't so such thing
As a fair contract.

But mr. Walker and I
Will present it

To the members of the union
This weekend.

We'll have an answer
For you by monday.

If it was up to me, I'd give you
An answer right now.

Gee, that didn't sound
Very encouraging.

No, that's just
Tough talk.

We made them as fair a proposal
As the budget would allow.

Come on, benson.

First you give in to
The highway-maintenance workers.

Next you'll give in
To the toll collectors.

Then it'll be
The parks personnel.

Face it. You caved in.
You let them walk all over you.

You should have "Welcome"
Tattooed across your chest.

If your dumb meeting
Is over,

I'd like to pick up
The garbage.

Clayton,
Your ride's here.

Very amusing.

Look how sloppy
This place is.

The least you could do
Is help me clean up.

Okay, kraus. Hop in a bag,
And I'll toss stuff to you.

How'd the negotiation go?

Well, we made them
A counteroffer.

They're gonna look at it
Over the weekend.

I think we have a good sh*t
At it being accepted.

All right! We don't have to
Work this weekend.

Oh, good. Now you can hang
The drapes in the front window.

Denise,
I just hung the blanket.

Fine.
I'll do it myself.

They're so emotional
When they're pregnant.

So I guess we'll just
Have to wait and see.

Oh, I think she'll get him
To put the drapes up.

No, governor,
I'm talking about

Stump walker and
The contract negotiations.

Oh, right.

He has always been
A stubborn son of a g*n.

Doesn't trust anybody.

You deserve
A pat on the back

Just for surviving
This week with him.

Well, you better
Pat it quickly

Because I plan to spend
The weekend lying on it.

I am bushed.

Well, I'm glad I had
You handle the negotiations.

Enjoy your rest.
I'll talk to you on monday.

And, benson,
Thanks again.

Benson:
Okay, governor.

So, what are you gonna do
Over the weekend, kraus?

Well, saturday night, I have
A date with john travolta.

Then we are flying
To vegas,

Where we are meeting up
With sly stallone,

And the three of us
Are going to a party.

Kraus,
I don't believe that.

Oh, yeah?
What part don't you believe?

That you have a date.

[ cheering ]

Pass it.

Come on, babe.
Pass the ball.

[ doorbell rings ]

Pass the ball, dummy.

Every week it's the same thing
With this guy -- sack city.

Put it down
Over there anywhere, man.

Here.
Keep the change.

Benson.

Oh, hey, tony.

I thought you were
The chicken man, man.

Am I bothering you?

No, no, no.
I'm watching the football game.

Say, I didn't know there was
A game on tonight.

No, this is last night's game.
I had to work, so I taped it.

Sit down.

Gee, I can't have a look at
A game once I know who won.

Me, neither.
But I don't know who won this.

Baltimore by .

Thank you.

[ television turns off ]
What's up?

You know something?

It's a terrific feeling
Knowing you're my neighbor.

What do you mean?
How long
We known each other?

What do you want, tony?

Hey, if I'm bothering you,
Just say the word.

What would the word be?

You're probably not
Aware of this,

But diane and I have been having
Some marital problems.

Tony. Mnh-mnh.

I don't want to hear
About your marriage.

Talk to a counselor, a minister,
Dr. Joyce brothers --

Anybody --
But leave me out of it.

Hey, but I didn't come here
To talk about that.

I came to ask if you could watch
The baby for us tonight.

No, no, no, no.
No good.

I thought you liked tracy.

I do, as long
As she's at your house.

Well, it's sort of
An emergency.

What kind of an emergency?

Diane and I want
To celebrate

Our fifth
Wedding anniversary,

But I just found out
Our babysitter broke her leg.

Let me get my phone book,
And I'll find you a babysitter.

Diane wouldn't
Feel comfortable

Leaving tracy with
Someone she didn't know.

Tony, it's been a tough week,
I'm very tired,

And I just want to spend
A weekend watching tv.

Come on.
I need a romantic evening.

I need a peaceful evening.

She'll sleep. We'll only be gone
A couple hours.

What's a couple?

Three, four.

That's not a couple.

She's a great kid.
You won't have any trouble.

And you'll only be gone
Three or four hours?

At the most.

[ mumbling ]
Bring her over.

What'd you say?

Bring her over.

Thanks, man!
That's great!

Oh, uh, one thing.
I only pay $ an hour.

Tony, go get the baby
Before I change my mind.

You know something, man?

You're the last
Of the good guys.

Being a good guy
Really stinks.

She's fed, and --

Now, everything's
Been taken care of.

If for some reason she should
Wake up and begin to cry...

What?

...Try singing the "Battle hymn
Of the republic."

The "Battle hymn
Of the republic"?

What the hell
Is that gonna do?

That usually gets her
Right back to sleep.

I thought you said
She slept through the night.
I said "Probably."

You didn't say nothing
About no "Probably."

There was no "Probably"
In our discussion.

Relax, man.
Everything will be all right.

Oh, I almost forgot.

Well, baby, it looks like
It's me and you.

[ babbling ]

What are you doing awake?

Want to look at some tv?

[ babbles ]

All right.
I'll take that as a "Yes."

I got the football game on tape.

The colts won.

[ crying ]

Yeah, I felt exactly
The same way.

Okay, so we won't watch no tv.

Okay,
What do you want to do?

What you want to do?

Besides crying.
What's the matter there?

[ rattling ]

[ crying continues ]

Aw, come on, sugar.

Tony!

♪ rockaby, baby,
On...The treetop ♪

♪ when the -- ♪

[ groans ]

[ crying continues ]

♪ mine eyes have seen
The glory ♪

♪ of the coming of the lord ♪

♪ he is trampling out
The vintage ♪

♪ where the grapes of wrath
Are stored ♪

♪ he has loosed
The fateful li-- ♪

[ silence ]

I'll be damned.
It works.

Tony ain't as dumb as he looks.

[ television turns on ]

[ crying ]

Oh, sweetheart,
I don't know the second verse.

Come on, baby. Come on.

Okay, here I am.

Here I am. Okay.

♪ mine eyes have seen
The glory ♪

♪ of the coming of the lord ♪

♪ he is trampling -- ♪

Tony!

♪ ...Out the vintage where
The grapes of wrath are stored ♪

♪ he has loosed
The fateful lightning ♪

[ crying stops ]
♪ of his terrible swift sword ♪

♪ his truth is marching on ♪

♪ do-do-doop ♪

[ telephone ringing ]

♪ mine eyes have seen -- ♪

All right.

Hello.

Hey, tony, you and diane --
You -- y'all home?

I'll -- I'll bring
The baby right over.

What do you mean, stranded?

Snowstorm?

The guy didn't say nothing about
That on the weather last night.

Hold on.

Jerk was wrong again.

Yeah.
Tracy's sound asleep.

Everything's fine here.

Oh, hi, diane.

What?

Yeah, I still got
Your spare key.

Okay, let me write this down.

"Formula in the fridge.

Baby food in third cabinet."

Okay.

Okay, you guys take care
Of yourselves.

Everything's fine here.

I'll talk to you later, okay?
Bye-bye.

Uhh! Ah!

Well, it looks like
Me and you, sweetheart,

Are gonna have to spend
The night together.

[ crying ]

You women are all alike.

I'm right here.
I'm right here.

Are you about ready
For some breakfast, sugar?

[ babbles ]

What'll it be --
Orange goop or green goop?

[ babbles ]

Orange goop? Okay.

Nothing like
A little mashed-up squash

To get you going in the morning.

[ doorbell rings ]

Oh, good. Maybe that's
Your mommy and daddy.

[ muttering ]

The abominable snowman.

It's me.

Close enough.

Telephone lines
Are down.

I've got a highway-patrol car
Waiting outside for you.

I didn't knock
The lines down.

Benson, the governor has called
An emergency meeting.

He wants us there.

What's it about?

Your friend stump walker
Called his men out on strike.

They won't clear the streets
Until we renegotiate.

Oh, brother.

Well, it's gonna take
A little time.

Well, I guess tracy will
Have to come along with us.

Tracy? Who's tracy?

Tracy's my next-door
Neighbor's daughter.

I was babysitting.
They got stranded upstate.

Say "Hello," tracy.

[ babbles ]

Aw.

[ singsong voice ]
Isn't she adorable?

Hootchy-kootchy.
Moo-goo. Moo-goo.

Biddy-biddy-boo.

Clayton,
She is not an ewok.

Why don't you put
Her food together?

I'm gonna get
An extra blanket.

Aren't you the cutest?
Boo-gah. Boo-gah.

[ crying ]

No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

♪ rockaby, baby,
On the treetop ♪

[ crying intensifies ]

[ normal voice ]
Shh. Shh. Shh.

How am I supposed to know
When this stuff is ready?

Sprinkle some
On your arm.

I'm not putting milk
On my arm.

Here. I'll do it.

How does that feel?

Warm.

Then it's ready.

Well, now what do I do?

You feed the baby.

Feed the baby?

Pick her up
And give her the bottle.

Pick her up?
In my arms?

No, nanook,
With your teeth.

And I don't know
How to hold babies.

Let katie do it.

It's okay with me.

Hi.
Sorry it took so long.

Pete got the car stuck
In a snowdrift.

We had to walk
All the way over.

It wasn't my fault.

Some joker on a toboggan
Ran a red light.

Whose baby?!

It's my next-door
Neighbors' daughter.

Her name is tracy.

Would you mind keeping an eye
On her while I'm in the meeting?

I don't know, benson.

Well, haven't you been taking
Childcare classes?

Yeah, but we only work
With rubber dolls.

She's real good
With dolls, though.

Then you better hope she
Gives birth to a chatty cathy.

I'll watch her, benson.

Boy, it doesn't seem that long
Since katie was that age.

Yeah. I'll help.

You?
You can't even pick her up.

Well, I can help.

I just can't be
The main baby person.

I can't hold her,
I can't feed her,

And I certainly
Can't change her.

Maybe you can put some
Pinto beans in your mouth

And use your head
For a rattle.

All right.
Let me make this proposal.

Would you construe this
As a binding proposal?

Actually, "Proposal"
Is an inappropriate word.

I think mr. Dubois
Would consider this

More of a suggestion.

Fine.
Let me make a suggestion.

Would you consider this
A binding suggestion?

Counselor, by definition,
The word "Suggestion"

Precludes any intimation
Of permanency.

But by virtue
Of the parties involved,

Any alteration of the contract,
Insinuated or implied,

Transcends the simple definition
Of "Suggestion."

I have another suggestion.

Why don't you two go out in
The hallway and play word power?

I'll agree to that.

Fine.

Very well.

We'll be in my office
When you come to your senses.

All right, stump.
The lawyers are gone.

Let's me and you
Talk straight.

When you left this room
On friday,

You were in favor
Of this contract, right?

Yeah, basically.

What happened between then
And now to change your mind?

It snowed.
Now I've got the upper hand.

Stump, we gave you
The best deal we could.

Read it.

You've got all the facts
Right there in front of you.

You guys in management
k*ll me.

You always stick it
To the workingman.

Don't tell me about
The workingman. I've been there.

You may have been there once,
But you ain't there now.

Once you put that suit and
Tie on, you became one of them.

You know, now I know
Why they call you stump.

You're cut off
Below the brain.

I may be dumb,
But I'm way ahead of you.

Yeah?

Well, you may be
Ahead of me,

But you're going
In the wrong direction.

Meaning what?

This is the best package
We could possibly offer you.

I know it,
And you know it,

And you're crazy to let
Your membership turn it down.

My membership didn't have to
Turn it down.

I turned it down
For them.

You mean to tell me they've
Never ever seen this offer?!

Look, dubois,
For years

I've been getting up in front
Of those guys and telling them,

"This contract is the best
Management can do."

Well, thanks to
An unexpected snowstorm,

I don't have to
Do that anymore.

All right.
Let's compromise.

I will agree
To reopen negotiations

If you will just put your men
Back out on the streets.

In other words,
You want me to trust you?

I give you my word
I'll deal in good faith.

You're good, dubois --
Real good -- but trust you?

I'd rather floss my teeth
With a chain saw.

I know where
I can get one.

Excuse the interruption,
Benson.

Could I see you
Just a minute?

Oh, sure.
Excuse me a minute.

Is this the right song?

♪ mine eyes have seen the glory
Of the coming of the lord ♪

Yeah, that's it.

It doesn't work.

She won't stop crying.
We've tried everything.

You better come
Take a look at her.

Okay.
I'll be there in a minute.

Uh, stump, can you hang on
For about minutes?

Sure. Every minutes
Is another half inch of snow.

[ chuckles ]

Heh heh heh heh heh.
What a guy.

[ crying ]

Shh. Shh.

Is this
What it's gonna be like...

...The crying, the worrying,
Year after year after year?

I don't think I can take it!

Calm down, pete.

One baby is all
I can handle right now.

When I cried as a baby,
My papa gave me schnapps.

Did it work?

I don't remember.

My entire childhood
Is a blur.

[ crying intensifies ]

Benson, you've got to help me.
This is driving me nuts!

Okay, pete, relax.

I'll tell you one thing.

When denise has my baby,

As soon as it walks,
It's going to m*llitary school.

Pete, why don't you go outside
In the snow and play?

Yeah. Yeah!

Benson,
She feels warm to me.

Yes, she is.
Her eyes are red.

Do you think
She's sick?

I don't know.
It's hard to tell.

Feel her nose.

See if it's warm
Und dry.

If it is, should I give her
A dog yummy?

I couldn't stay up there.
The lawyers came back.

Whose baby?

It's my next-door neighbors'.
I'm looking after her.

We think she's sick.

Oh, you better call
A doctor.

What good will that do?
The whole city's snowed in.

I may be tough, dubois,
But I'm not heartless.

Give me
The doc's address,

And I'll have one of my boys
Pick him up

And bring him here
On the snowplow.

Denise, call dr. Phillips
And tell him what's happening,

And I'm write down
His address for you.

Now, don't get
The wrong idea, dubois.

This strike is still on.

I don't want you
To be thinking

That I'm some kind
Of pushover.

Don't worry, stump.

In our eyes,
You're still a rotten guy.

[ sighs ]

The doc's been up there
minutes with the baby.

I sure hope
It's nothing serious.

Ah, it ain't. It's probably
Just an ear infection.

Who are you --
The gerber answer man?

I got daughters,
grandchildren,

And I raised sisters.

I've seen a lot
Of ear infections.

That doesn't make you
An expert.

What do you know?
You ever raise any kids?

Yeah, I raised my younger
Brothers and sisters.

How'd they turn out?

They didn't have
No ear infections.

Everything's all right.

The doctor just thinks
It's an ear infection.

That's what I said.

I just wanted
A second opinion.

I'm gonna go outside and see
If pete's calmed down yet.

Oh, he's all right. He just came
In here a minute ago.

Wanted a carrot
For his snowman.

Call me if you need me.

Okay.

Look who's better.

So, how's she doing?

She's asleep.

And I thought she'd be
More comfortable in her own bed.

Aw, would you
Look at her!

[ chuckles ]

Isn't she an angel?

I remember when katie
Was that size.

Is this gonna be a story?

No.
I was just remembering.

Reminds me of a story.

What is he --
The designated storyteller?

I remember when gloria -- that's
My oldest -- she was about .

She got ahold of my electric
Razor and shaved the cat bald.

Ruined the razor.

It didn't do the cat
Much good, either, did it?

What?

[ chuckling ]
Oh, I never thought of that.

You know something,
Dubois?

There are moments when
You can be an okay guy.

The kind of guy
You can trust?

Well, I guess you must be
If your neighbors are willing

To let you take care
Of their baby.

I'll tell you what,
Stump.

If you put your men back
On the street,

I promise you we'll sit down
At the table and negotiate

Until we hammer out something
We both think is fair.

Okay, dubois.
I'm gonna trust you.

You got a deal.

Let's get to work.

[ crying ]

Together: ♪ mine eyes have seen
The glory of the coming... ♪

What's going on?

Don't ask questions.
Just sing.

♪ ...Vintage where the grapes
Of wrath are stored ♪

♪ he has loosed
The fateful lightning ♪

[ crying stops ]
♪ of his terrible swift sword ♪

♪ his truth is marching on ♪

♪ do-do-do-do-do ♪

♪ glory! Glory! Hallelujah! ♪