05x14 - Too Pooped to Pip

[bunniefuu]

Hey, benson,
How's the talent search coming

For this year's telethon?

Everything is fine.

Well, do you mind being
Just a little more specific?

How do you expect me
To introduce the acts?

You're the master
Of ceremonies?

What happened to ernie depew?

Oh, he was doing
That sunday show on channel ,

And he was at the zoo.

And he tried to kiss
This raccoon,

And it made
A snack of his nose.

So I am filling in
For ernie depew.

Too bad you didn't fill in
At the zoo.

The raccoon could have had
A feast.

Well, anyway, I have got
A surprise for both of you.

I booked a big-name act
For our show.

Oh, really?
Who?

Did you go to the state fair
Last summer?

You got kenny rogers?

No, no, no.
I got the animal act --

Walker's rats and cats!

That's a great act.

Rats and cats?

Yeah.

They do a rodeo,
A little soft-shoe.

Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

But the best part
Is when they re-create

The chariot race
From "Ben-hur."

Rats and cats.

This is the greatest animal act
Since topo gigio,

And I want it
In the star position.

Sir...

[ scoffs ]

How am I going to introduce
A bunch of rats?

Well, you could say,

"And now here are some
Close personal friends of mine."

That's terrible.
That's just terrible.

One minute you're here,
And the next minute -- poof.

I'm so sorry, governor.
It's a tragedy.

What's a tragedy?

Walker's cats
Ate walker's rats.

Now, that's what I call
Real dinner theater.

Governor,
I called the florist,

Und they're going to send
Some flowers to mr. Walker.

Ah.
Thank you, miss kraus.
Ja.

They are yellow daisies in
The shape of a wedge of cheese.

That's nice.

Sir...

I just heard.

It's a tragedy --
A horrible, horrible thing.

You laughed
When I told you.

Uh...
Nervous tension.

Who's taking their place?

Oh, I haven't even
Thought about that.

Ooh! Ooh!

My mother went to school
With fess parker!

Well, maybe he knows somebody.

Look, I have an idea.

How about gladys knight
And the pips?

[ chuckling ] sure.

Why don't we just get
Frank sinatra?

No, really.

They're in town,
And I...Kind of know them.

If you kind of know them,

How come you kind of
Couldn't get tickets?

Well, I don't know them
All that well.

Actually, I only know
One of them.

You know gladys knight?

No, that's not the one.

You remember when I was
In the hospital with my allergy?

Yeah.
Well, bubba was in the room
Across the hall.

He's one of the pips.

[ chuckling ] he'll never
Remember you.

Sure, he will.

Look, I'm going
To the concert tonight.

I'll drop backstage and ask him
About doing the telethon.

Isn't this exciting?

Gladys knight and the pips
On my telethon.

Yeah, I can get
Their autograph.

I'm gonna go upstairs right now
And listen to all their albums.

You've got their albums?

Yeah!
You look surprised.

Well, a little bit.

Hey, just because
I'm governor

Doesn't mean
That I can't get down.

[ cheers and applause ]

Oh, what an audience.

A real party,
Get-down crowd!

Hey, hey!

Aha!

Yes!

We got something we want to do
For you right now

That we think might be fun.

It's from our album --

Gladys knight and the pips.
"Visions."

This song is called, simply,
"Save the overtime for me"!

♪ darling, don't stay too long ♪

♪ oh, pretty baby ♪

♪ pretty baby ♪

♪ I know you're working hard
For me ♪

♪ hard for me ♪

♪
♪ hard for me ♪

♪ darling ♪
♪ hard for me ♪

♪ don't stay away too long ♪
♪ oh, pretty baby ♪

♪ pretty baby ♪

♪ save the overtime for me ♪

♪ I walk around trying to find
Something to do, baby ♪

Benson, are you sure it's okay
For us to be back here?

Sure.
Who's gonna throw us out?

Hey, get out of here!

Huh?
I said,
"Get out of here."

Uh, hi.

Uh, I'm a personal close friend
Of, uh...Bubba,

And we were
In the hospital together.

I don't care if you were
In "Hello, dolly!" together.

You can't be back here.

Hey, hey!

Keep your hands to yourself,
You big palooka.

Excuse me.

What is your name?

Leland.

You want to make something
Out of it?

No, no, no, no, no.

I just, uh, wanted to tell you

That we didn't come down here
Really to see bubba.

We came down here
To see you.

Huh?

Well, actually,
Gretchen came down to see you.

Huh?

She was watching some of
Your moves during the show,

And she said
That you were quite a hunk.

Oh, yeah?

Uh, excuse us a moment,
Leland.

Benson,
May I speak with you?

What are you doing?

I'm trying
To buy some time.

With my body?

You're right. I may need
To throw in some cash.

Forget it.

Kraus, it's for the telethon.
Just hang in.

So, uh...Gretchen,

How would you like to see me
Flex my pecs?

Do what?

Just humor him.

Right, right.
Uh...

So, leland...

[ chuckles ]

What exactly are pecs?

Here, I'll show you.

Ohh! Ohh!

♪ got me tickin' down
Hear me now ♪

♪ , , , , ♪

♪ darling ♪

Hey, bubba!
Hey, bubba!

How much longer
Y'all gonna be?

♪ I know you're workin' hard ♪

I see you out there!
It's going great, baby!

Yeah!

♪ baby, don't stay away
Too long ♪

♪ pretty baby ♪

♪ save the overtime for me ♪

♪ for me ♪

♪ oooh, baby, baby ♪

♪ save the overtime for me ♪

♪ oh, baby ♪

♪ all you've got to do
Is save it ♪

♪ oh, baby ♪

♪ save the overtime ♪

♪ save the overtime ♪
♪ save the overtime ♪

♪ oh, baby ♪

♪ I know it's crazy, but I ♪

♪ I walk around ♪

♪ trying to find something else
To do, pretty baby ♪

♪ until your return ♪

♪ turn on the tv
Or play some solitaire ♪

♪ does the job for a while ♪

♪ for a while
♪ does the job for a while ♪

♪ for a while ♪
♪ does the job for a while ♪

♪ find myself
Runnin' to the door ♪

♪ to the door, to the door ♪
♪ lookin' out the window ♪

♪ out the window, the window ♪

♪ hoping to see only you ♪

♪ listenin' for the phone ♪
♪ listenin' for the phone ♪

♪ checkin' out the ticktock ♪
♪ checkin' out the clock ♪

♪ countin' every second down ♪

♪ hear me now ♪

♪ , , , , ♪

♪ darling ♪

♪ don't stay away too... ♪

♪ pretty baby ♪

♪ I know you're workin' hard
For me ♪

♪ darling ♪

♪ baby, don't stay away
Too long ♪

[ cheers and applause ]

Hey, man,
You stepped on my toe.

Yeah, yeah.

I'm sorry.

Hey, bubba.

Eh?

Yeah.

Long time, no see.

Yeah, yeah, right.
How are you?

Fine.

Who are you?

Don't you remember when we were
In the hospital together?

Benson dubois.

Bubba, is this another one
Of your wacko friends?

I think he broke my toe.

Hey, bubba, this guy broke
William's toe.

Oh, what a great audience.

I'm telling you,
They were something else.

They even applauded
When I dropped the microphone.

Well, that's because you were
So wonderful, miss knight.

Thank you.

Who is he?

Well, actually,
I'm a friend of bubba's.

Bubba, is this another one
Of your wacko friends?

Wacko, yes.
Friend, no.

Well, we only met briefly.

I'm budget dubois,
The state benson director.

Uh, my name is benson dubois.
I'm the state budget director.

Benson.
Mm-hmm.

You got some great moves
For a budget director.

Well, thank you.
Thank you very much.

I'm sorry about
Barging in on your act that way.

I hope
I didn't ruin anything.

My toe.

Let it die, home.

What the heck
Were you doing out there?

Well, I, uh, was trying
To escape from leland.

Oh, the guy with the pecs.

[ chuckling ] yeah.

Yeah, I just, uh,
Thought I'd, uh, come by

And, uh, ask you all
A little favor.

If you're bucking to be
The fourth pip, forget it.

No, no. I'll never try
Anything like that again.

Actually, the favor's
Not for me.

It's for the
Myerson children's clinic.

Children's clinic.

Yeah, you see,
Every year they do a telethon

To raise money for --
Money.

Uh, because without money,

We wouldn't have
Any sick children.

Well, I mean,
We would have sick children,

But they wouldn't have
A place to be sick in.

Well, I mean, they'd be sick
All over the state. Well...

I'm not explaining this
Very well, but --

You want us
To be on the show, huh?

Thank you.

Right.
When is it?

Day after tomorrow.

Oh, I'm sorry.

We're booked in mt. Brewster
Day after tomorrow.

Ohh...Fiddlesticks.

I don't suppose
You'd lend me one pip.

Maybe another time.

It was really nice
Meeting you, benson.

Thank you very much.
It was a wonderful show.

Thank you.
Maybe next year.

Yeah.

Tough luck,
Leadfoot.

Well...
Keep in touch.

Okay.
Straight ahead,
Brother.

Well, that's just great.

Pips are on the road

And ernie depew
Is in the hospital

And walker's rats
Are in his cats.

Great day.

It's a shame.
Real shame.

Well, I'm sorry,
Governor.

They just
Weren't available.

You know,
I really believed

You knew gladys knight
And the pips.

Me too.
Why did you fib?

I didn't fib.

I said I kind of know them,
And I do kind of know them.

Well, I kind of know them.

How?

I have all their albums.

But I don't go around bragging
That I can get them on the show!

Well, dad's mad.

How am I gonna explain this
To the kids at school?

I told them I could get
Gladys knight's autograph.

Ha!

Benson, benson, benson,

I have just written
My introduction

For gladys knight
And the pips.

I'd like to run it by you.

That won't be necessary,
Clayton.

Benson, may I finish?

Just once
I wish you would let me finish.

All right, here we go.

Ladies and gentlemen,

The heart and soul
Of rock 'n' roll,

The hottest news
In rhythm and blues!

They're good, they're bad,
And they are here!

Gladys knight and the pips!
Hey!

Ta-da!

Well?
What do you think?

Well, I like it all,

Except the part where you said,
"They are here."

What's wrong with that?

They're not going
To be here.

What?

Benson kind of exaggerated
His friendship with them.

You mean
He doesn't know them.

Right.

Benson, benson, benson.

Who would have thought
You'd sink this low?

Well, that's the last thing
I'll volunteer for.

Hey, benson!
Guess who's here.

I don't care.

Benson, it's gladys knight
And bubba.

[ chuckles ]

Pete, I don't want
To be teased.

Benson, I'm serious.

Look! Look!

Oh!

Gladys. Bubba.
What are you guys doing here?

We had to cancel our concert
In mt. Brewster.

They just got
inches of snow.

Do you still need someone
To help out the kids?

What are you saying?
We can do the telethon.

You're kidding.
He's kidding.

You're not kidding.
He's not kidding.

Pete, go get the governor.

I got to ask you
One small favor in return.

You name it, mama --

You got to get it,
You caught me with it.

I'd like for you
To sing with me.

You got
To be kidding.

Me sing with you?
Oh, I couldn't sing with you.

That's what I thought.

Come on, it'll be fun.

And all the people around here
Who know you

Will get
A kick out of it.

It'll be great
For the telethon.

Ah, pfft!

I'll take that as a yes.

Now we have an interview to do,
So I got to run, okay?

I'll see you later.
Okay.

We'll call you later about...
Rehearsal.

♪ , , , , ♪

Benson?

Pete said that you had
A surprise for us.

I certainly do.

Gladys knight and bubba
Were just here,

And they are going to do
The telethon.

And what's more,
They want me to sing with them.

Oh, benson.

Clayton: so let's keep
Those phones ringing,

And we'll be right back
After these messages.

[ telephone ringing ]

Well, sir,
How am I doing?

Well, I don't know.
You seem so at ease...

[ laughing ] yeah.
...Considering.

Considering what?

Well, considering all those
Millions of people

Watching you on their tv.

Couldn't imagine...

All of those millions
Of strange faces

Staring up at you.

[ chuckles nervously ]

Think of all those eyes.

Yeah.

Ooh.
Kind of creepy, isn't it?

Uh-huh.

Oh, I think you're on.

No, no.

Pete, does clayton look funny
To you?

He always looks
That way.

No, he looks sick
Or something.

I think
You should help him.

Oh, yeah,
I'll take care of it.

Hey.

Hey, clayton,
How you doing, old buddy?

[ laughs ]

This man's something else,
Isn't he? Huh?

He's really come
A long way.

He was a very ugly baby.
[ laughs ]

Katie:
How ugly was he?

Thank you.

He was so ugly, he had
To sneak up on his teddy bear.

Hey, benson,
Get ready to go on.

He had a very friendly sister.
Everybody liked her.

I mean everybody.

She was picked up so many times,
She grew handles.

[ laughing ]
That kills me!

Got a message here.
[ laughs ]

"Shut up and introduce
The next act."

Say good night, clayton.

And now,
Without any further whatever,

Gladys knight and the pips...

And benson!

[ slow orchestral music plays ]

♪ when you think
That no one understands ♪

♪ and living hurts so much
You can't believe it ♪

♪ turn around
And see my smiling face ♪

♪ waiting to lend a hand
Just when you need it ♪

♪ and when
You need a shoulder ♪

♪ I'm standing at your door ♪

♪ in a world
That's getting much colder ♪

♪ I'll be your friend ♪

♪ and so much more ♪

♪ after all ♪

♪ what are friends for? ♪

♪ when you feel
You've got nowhere to turn ♪

♪ and all your dreams
Are lost in frustration ♪

♪ you should know ♪

♪ that I'm someone
Who cares enough ♪

♪ to pull you through
Life's situations ♪

♪ and when
You need a shoulder ♪

♪ I'm standing
At your door ♪

♪ in a world
That's getting much colder ♪

♪ I'll be your friend
And so much more ♪

♪ after all ♪

♪ what are friends for? ♪

♪ and when you think
You've had enough ♪

♪ and you're crying
From the strain ♪

♪ take a sip
From my friendship cup ♪

♪ it'll help
To ease the pain ♪

♪ the pain ♪

♪ and when
You need a shoulder ♪

♪ I'm standing
At your door ♪

♪ in a world
That's getting much colder ♪

♪ I'll be your friend ♪

♪ and so much more ♪
♪ and so much more ♪

♪ after all ♪

♪ what are friends for? ♪

Whoo!