Admit it.
Miss kraus seems strange.
Admit it?
I'll shout it from the rooftop.
Benson, you don't mind if
I use your typewriter, do you?
No, go ahead, katie.
Next time you're in the kitchen,
Give her a good hard look.
Will you do that for me?
I sure will. I've got
A few sick days coming.
Where's denise?
Oh, she went
To her doctor's appointment.
What are you doing,
Honey?
Oh, I'm typing up a bunch
Of junk I've got to do.
What kind of junk?
I'm the cochairman
Of our school dance.
Katie, before denise left,
Did she say anything
About the revenue-subsidy file?
Just a minute, benson.
Did you say "School dance"?
Yeah.
You mean
Boys and girls?
Don't start, dad.
Well, anyway,
Did denise mention --
Just a minute, benson.
Are you planning to go
To this dance, katherine?
Dad, I'm the cochairman.
Well, if I could
Just have the --
Just a minute, benson.
That doesn't make you
Old enough to date.
I'm not dating.
You just go there
And dance with whoever's there.
You mean boys.
Governor, this is all
Very interesting,
But I do need
The revenue-subsidy file.
It's on your desk.
Thank you.
Benson, when you were ,
Did you dance with girls?
I did a lot more than just...
Who can remember?
Hi, benson, thanks for letting
Me use your bathroom.
Sure, young man.
Who are you?
I'm winston lewis,
One of katie's friends.
Hasn't she ever mentioned me?
Winston lewis...
Let me think.
She talks about you
All the time.
Oh, yeah. You're the kid
Who ate the paste.
It was fourth grade.
Everybody ate paste.
[ chuckles ]
Well, when I was
In the fourth grade,
Only the rich kids
Ate paste.
Well, it was nice
To meet you.
Same here.
By the way,
Do you know anybody driving
To springfield on saturday?
Not offhand. Why?
What do you mean?
Katie said you were going to
The opening of the state fair.
Oh, right, right.
Is that saturday?
Yeah, I need to catch a ride.
I'll split the gas with you.
Oh, you don't
Have to do that.
I'll be happy to give you a lift
If your folks don't mind.
It's just me and my mom.
She won't mind.
Okay, then I'll pick you up
Saturday around :.
The fair opens at :.
It takes a couple of hours
To get there.
You don't want me
To pick you up at
You're right.
We should b*at the traffic.
Pick me up at :.
Why don't I just pick you up
At : and we'll go fishing?
Tell you what -- I'll be ready
When you get there.
Good.
You do know the fair stays open
Till midnight?
And you do know that your ride
Will be leaving at
Okay, see you.
All right.
Please, honey,
You're not listening.
Now, this would save us
A lot of money.
I don't care.
It's a dumb idea.
Benson, would you explain
To denise the benefits
Of owning a motorcycle?
You want me to explain
To a pregnant woman
The benefits
Of owning a motorcycle?
Well, it's not for her.
It's for me.
We're gonna still have
Her car.
We're gonna have your car 'cause
We're not getting a motorcycle.
Benson,
Tell her what it's like.
Roaring down the highway
With the wind in your hair.
And bugs in your teeth.
Ugh!
No motorcycle.
Great.
"Bugs in your teeth."
[ scoffs ]
Couldn't you have said
Something good?
Well, I could have told her
That your head's so hard
You won't need a helmet.
Thanks a lot, pal.
Psst! Benson!
Are you alone?
Oh, good grief.
Out of the frying pan,
Into the nut bowl.
What do you want?
Benson, benson...
I think someone is trying
To k*ll me.
What?
It's my dream.
It's my dream, too,
But it's not likely to happen.
No, no, no.
You don't understand.
It's clayton.
It's clayton.
For the last three nights,
I have dreamt
That he's going to k*ll me.
Why would clayton
Want to k*ll you?
When a man breaks into your room
With a chain saw,
You don't have time
For polite conversation.
Oh, that's ridiculous,
Kraus.
Clayton isn't gonna try
To k*ll you with a chain saw.
The man can barely handle
A nail clipper.
Ah, miss kraus,
There you are.
Do you have the keys
To the toolshed?
[ whimpers ]
The toolshed?
Yeah.
The toolshed?
Yeah.
Ooh!
What is wrong
With that woman?
If I knew,
I'd win a nobel prize.
I'm building some shelves
In my apartment this weekend.
I wanted to borrow
Some tools.
The gardener has a key.
Oh, thanks.
Oh, if you're not busy
On saturday --
I am.
Would you like to --
No.
Fine.
Hi, benson.
Oh, hi, katie, winston.
Oh, great, my dress came.
I've got to go try it on.
Don't forget we got
To buy decorations today.
I'll be right back.
See you later, benson.
All right, sugar.
So how are you doing?
Fine.
I really had a great time
Saturday, benson.
Thanks a lot.
So did I.
Sorry you got sick
On the roller coaster.
I didn't get sick on the roller
Coaster. I told you that.
You looked sick to me,
And that noise you made.
What noise?
When we went over the top
Of the hill, you went [moans]
Can we talk about
Something else?
Sure.
I'd like to take you
Out to dinner to pay you back.
Oh, you don't have
To do that.
I want to.
I really do.
Okay, when?
Tonight.
Tonight it is. What are you
Up for, burgers or pizza?
How about a real
Home-cooked meal?
Where would we get that?
At home.
I already talked to mom.
She said you could come
Over for dinner.
[ chuckles ]
Okay, what time?
About
That's good.
All right.
[ imitating duck ]
Hi, miss kraus.
Benson, benson!
I just saw clayton going
Into the toolshed.
Well, so what, kraus?
He's just gonna put some shelves
Up in his closet.
Oh, ja, sure.
That's what the guy
In "Psycho" said --
"I'm just going to put
Some shelves up in the shower."
Why don't you put
Some shelves up
In that empty space
You call your head?
Better get washed up, honey.
Mr. Dubois will be here soon.
What are we having
For dinner?
Tuna casserole.
Tuna casserole?
Mom, where's your imagination?
In the casserole, along with
Everything else in the kitchen.
Now, come on, get moving.
[ doorbell rings ]
I got it.
Good evening.
How are you doing, winston?
Hi, benson.
I mean, mr. Dubois.
Want a martini?
Not in the hallway.
Oh, yeah.
Come on in.
Hey, mom,
Mr. Dubois is here.
Hello, benson.
It's nice to see you again.
Nice to see you,
Carol.
That's a great jacket, benson.
I mean, mr. Dubois.
Don't you think
That's a great jacket, mom?
Oh, I think it's
A very nice jacket, honey.
Thank you very much. I hope
Everybody likes ice cream.
Mom made this dress,
You know?
Oh, that's a wonderful dress.
The ice cream's runny.
Oh, I'll take it in
And put it in the freezer.
Here, I'll put it away.
You two sit down, talk,
Get acquainted.
Not there.
Well, I can get acquainted
From here.
It's more comfortable
Over here.
Okay.
I'll be back...
But not too quickly.
Boy, he's really excited
Tonight.
It's because you're here.
Winston.
It's too dark, huh?
Unless we're gonna
Develop pictures.
Winston,
Put the lights back on.
[ chuckles ]
Can I get you something
To drink?
Beer would be fine.
Great. I better go
Take care of dinner.
Honey,
Try to behave yourself.
Do you like music?
Yep.
Mom loves music.
And can she dance!
She loves to dance.
Should I be making
A list?
No.
You know, she'd have a great
Time at the school dance.
Why don't you get her
To be a chaperon?
Chaperons go in couples.
Mm-hmm.
Are you trying to get me to take
Your mom to your school dance?
Wow, that's a great idea!
Why didn't I think of that?
Come on, you two.
Salad's on.
Mom, benson just had
A great idea.
He wants to take you
To my school dance.
Well, I didn't exactly
Say that.
Winston, now, if you're not
Going to behave yourself,
You're gonna have dinner
In your room, okay?
I'm sorry, benson.
Well, that's all right,
Carol.
It isn't every day I get invited
To a junior-high-school dance.
But I wouldn't dream
Of taking up your time.
Mom, the man volunteered.
Winston, not another word.
Carol, I'd be delighted
To take you to the dance.
Benson, you don't have
To do that.
It's not because I have to.
It'll be a lot of fun.
And, besides, if you're there,
He'll be happy.
And you know you love
To see me happy.
Well, thank you, benson.
I'd love to.
And, winston...
You and I are going to have
A little chat later on.
Excuse me, benson.
I'm gonna get dinner.
Sit down.
Well, benson,
What do you think?
When you and your mom
Have that chat,
You'd better put a book
In your pants.
You are taking it back.
You're taking it back.
I'm not taking it back.
You are.
What is going on?
We were looking
At my motorcycle.
He's taking it back.
I'm not taking it back!
Why should I take it back?
Because you'll splatter yourself
All over the highway.
She has a point, pete.
I see.
You think I'm incompetent.
You think I'm a wimp, a jerk.
No, I don't think that.
Yeah?
Well, think again.
He has a point, denise.
I had to go
And marry a daredevil.
Oh, by the way,
You have a visitor.
So do you.
Oh, hi, benson.
Hi, winston.
I wanted to make sure
You were still coming tonight.
Oh, sure, I'm coming.
Good.
I washed your car.
You washed my car?
And this is for you
To give to my mom.
Oh, how thoughtful of me.
Winston, I think katie wants
To see you before you go.
Thanks, miss kraus.
See you at the dance, benson.
Okay, winston.
Benson, benson.
I dreamt about clayton again.
Kraus, I don't want
To hear about it.
Now I am positive the man is
Plotting to k*ll me.
Please don't tease me
This way.
Fine. Ignore it.
I am prepared
To defend myself.
[ screaming ]
What happened?
Uhh...Uhh...Uhh...
I was j-just returning
These scissors.
Do you know
What this is all about?
Yeah.
Miss kraus?
Oh!
Who is it?
Governor gatling.
[ gasps ]
Miss kraus,
I really don't like to pry,
But you've been
Very jumpy lately.
Well, I'm afraid
To fall asleep.
Why?
I dream.
[ chuckles ]
Everybody dreams.
Yeah, well,
My dreams come true.
Oh, you don't
Believe that.
Oh, ja?
I dreamt that they would make
Hawaii a state.
You did?
Ja.
Und I dreamt that
A man would walk on the moon.
I see.
Well, actually, in my dream,
It was a monkey that walked,
But it's the same
Principle.
Well, I hope you're wrong
About dreams coming true
Because last night
I dreamt that katie ran off
With a boy who looked like
Jack palance.
Well, it wouldn't hurt
To keep an eye on her.
But now you will
Excuse me.
I'm going to go to my room
Und nail my window shut.
I should have sent katie
To an all-girls school.
Oh, hi, benson.
I got to run over to the dance.
I'll see you later.
Why are you going
So early?
Well, I want to see
If there are any dark corners
On the dance floor.
Dark corners, huh?
Well, yeah,
I better get a move on.
I got to change --
Oh, sh**t, I left
Winston's corsage in my desk.
Winston's wearing a corsage
To the dance?
No, no, no, no, no.
He bought it for me.
You're wearing a corsage
To the dance?
Don't you have some dark corners
You want to check out?
Yeah.
I'll see you later.
Mm-hmm.
Oh, benson,
Have you seen miss kraus?
No, I've been spared.
Oh, miss kraus.
[ screams ]
Aah! Aah!
Help!
Help! Help! Help!
Hold it, hold it.
Wait a minute here.
What are you yelling
"Help" about?
You have me pinned
To the table.
Why are you
Yelling "Help"?
Because you are trying
To k*ll me.
Why would
I try to k*ll you?
Because
You don't like me.
Well,
You don't like me, either,
But you're not trying
To k*ll me.
Aaah! Are you?
You mean you're really not
Going to hack me up
With a chain saw?
Well, of course not.
Oh, brother, is this going to be
Hard to explain.
Well, I see you two made up.
[ dance music plays ]
These kids sure seem big
For junior high.
Look at that couple
Over there.
That winston's math teacher
And her husband.
Ah, I wish I had known
That earlier.
I just told them
To stop necking in the hallway.
Hey, you know you two don't have
To spend all your time here.
The wrestling room's open.
Oh. What a shame
I didn't bring my trunks.
I think there's
A slow song coming up,
In case you two want
To dance.
Thank you.
Have you seen katie?
No, not in the last
Few minutes.
Did you know that
The wrestling room is open?
Thanks, but we're waiting
For a slow dance.
I can't find katie
Anywhere.
What are you doing now?
Counting the boys.
Hi, dad.
What are you doing?
Keeping time
To the music.
Katie, that boy there's trying
To get your attention.
Yeah, he wants me
To dance with him.
Ignore him, katie.
Why?
He's sort of cute.
Cute boys are not
For you.
You mean no boys are for me.
It's just a dance.
I don't know.
What do you think, benson?
Looks like a dance
To me.
I guess you're right.
Why don't you go ahead
And dance?
Thanks.
[ slow song begins ]
I can't look.
What's she doing now, benson?
Carol,
Would you like to dance?
Love it.
Junior-high dances haven't
Changed much since we were kids.
Well, it's changed
A little bit.
How?
Those chaperons are a lot
Younger than I remember.
Why, mrs. Lewis, I do believe
You're flirting with me.
No, there's something
In my eye.
[ faster music begins ]
There,
I think you've got it out.
Mm-hmm.
Let's get out of here
Before it gets dangerous.
I'm back.
So good
To see you again.
Excuse me.
Listen, benson.
I've been acting like
An old stuffed shirt.
I'm just trying to keep katie
A little girl,
My little girl.
I know that she has to grow up,
But it's so hard to let go.
Governor, do let go.
My arm is asleep.
She'll be all right.
[ chuckles ]
Sure, she'll be fine.
She knows what she's doing.
She knows a lot more
Than I did at her age.
Yeah.
I'd better go lock up
The wrestling room.
Congratulations, miss lewis,
Benson. I just heard.
Heard what?
That the two of you
Are getting married.
The whole school knows.
Where'd you hear that?
I am going to k*ll him.
Maybe I'd better go look
For dad.
How could he?
Where is that --
No. I see him.
You mind if I talk to him first?
No, go ahead.
Benson, I'm very sorry
About this.
Well, there's nothing
To be sorry about, carol.
Winston.
Oh, hi, benson.
How is the date going?
Isn't mom great?
She certainly is.
Sit down.
I want to talk to you a minute.
Have you been telling people
Your mother and I
Are gonna get married?
Well, I didn't exactly
Say that.
What did you exactly say?
I think I said something like
You would be a great dad,
That you and mom like each other
A lot, and who knows?
I know.
Winston, your mother and I
Are not gonna get married.
You mean there's no chance?
Well, there's always some
Chance, but if I were you,
I wouldn't rush out
And rent a tuxedo.
She's a great cook.
Did I tell you that?
Yeah.
Look, I know you want
Your mother to be happy.
I wasn't just thinking of her.
I was thinking of me.
I love mom,
But she can't be a dad.
A guy needs a father,
Someone he can point to and say,
"That's my old man."
Mm-hmm, yeah.
It's a shame things don't work
Out the way we want them to.
My dad and I were gonna do
So much together.
Yeah.
My dad d*ed
When I was young.
Then you ought to know
What it's like.
I do know what it's like.
But I guess you got to learn
The same things that I learned.
There's no such thing
As an instant father.
But you and I can do
Some of the things
That a father and a son
Would do.
Really?
You'll play baseball with me?
Certainly.
You'll teach me
How to drive a car?
As soon as your feet
Touch the pedal.
Can you get the governor
To open the wrestling room?
As soon as you're old enough
To vote.
You're okay, benson.
You're an okay guy
Yourself.
[ slow music plays ]
There's the song I asked him
To play for you and mom.
I hate to see it
Go to waste.
Mom does like to dance.
[ chuckles ]
I have an idea.
I'm way ahead of you,
Benson.
Now, if you'll excuse me,
I'm gonna go dance with my mom.
All righty.
[ clicks tongue ]