06x05 - The Election

[bunniefuu]

In the last episode
Of "Benson"...

Is benson running for lieutenant
Governor, or is he not?

I'm running, I'm running.

Worth lakewood influences
A lot of big contributors.

One word from him could put
This campaign in the black.

You're an unknown,
Underfinanced black candidate.

You don't have
Many options.

You can take your money,
Your politics,

And your big-sh*t attitude
And stuff them in a trash bag,

'cause you're
Talking garbage!

How you doing, buddy?

Well, not too good,
According to the late edition.

They say I'm finished.

[ glass breaks ]

Who's there?!

Clayton: what?!

Freeze, dirtbag!

Ow! Ow! Ow!
Look at that!

Who's there?

Aw, you made me rip
My $ tuxedo!

Clayton, is that you?

Of course, it's me.

Who else could afford clothes
This expensive?

Aw, look at this.

My tuxedo is ruined.

It's your own fault.

Everyone knows that the proper
Attire for breaking in

Is a turtleneck
And a stocking mask.

I wasn't breaking in.
I lost my key.

I hope you realize
What your outburst tonight

Does for
Our election chances.

Yes, I realize
What my outburst

Has done
To my election chances.

Don't you want
To win this thing?

Of course I want to win,

But not if I have to owe people
Like worth lakewood.

Maybe this isn't the time.

Uh-uh-uh, you are not going
To drop out of this campaign.

I didn't say
I was dropping out.

I may drop out
And I may not.

Well, I wish
You'd make up your mind.

You're beginning to sound like
A politician.

Great, clayton.
Hit a man when he's down.

[ knock on door ]

Now, who the hell could that be
At this time of night?

I don't know, maybe it's
A burglar with manners.

[ knocking continues ]

Good evening.
Can I help you?

Good evening, mr. Dubois.

My name is max logan
From radio station wota.

Oh, right.

We met at some function,
I think.

Yeah, it was
The annual pet rodeo.

Yeah, we judged
The frog triathlon.

Hop on in.

So, what brings station wota
Out at this time of night?

I'd like to talk to you
About your campaign.

Uh-uh-uh, hold the phone.

Mr. Dubois will answer
No questions

Concerning
Tonight's fiasco.

It's all right, clayton,
Max logan isn't a reporter.

He owns the station.

What --
You're media max?

That's what they call me.

Well,
What brings you out --

You own
Cityview magazine.

I know.
Well, as I was --

And that
Spanish-language newspaper.

Prensa libre.

Well, I --

That means "Free press."

I know
What it means, clayton.

Why don't you get yourself
Some coffee, huh?

[ chuckles ]

What do you know?
Media max.

[ chuckles ]

Clayton!
Oh, right, right.

[ sighs ]

So, why are you here?

Mr. Dubois, I understand

You've gotten yourself
Into a little jam.

Well, I may have gotten myself
Into a little jam,

But you guys in the press
Blew it all out of proportion.

Sure, you blow your cool in
Front of a bunch of tv cameras

And a half dozen microphones,
And the press is to blame.

Don't talk logic to me.
I'm in a bad mood.

Well, don't yell at me.
I came here to help you.

Hmm, in that case,
I'm sorry.

Well, well, well,
What brings the great media max

To our humble
Campaign headquarters?

Actually, I came here to talk
About your campaign.

As I said before,
I'd like to help.

So, mr. Logan,
What did you have in mind?

I've been watching
Your campaign.

It occurs to me
That your use of the media

Has been rather amateurish.

Amateurish?

Just who the hell
Do you think you are?

Media max -- remember?

I'm on your side, fellas.

I'd like to help you put
Your message across.

Great.
What's your proposal?

To donate the use
Of my radio station...
Oh, we accept.

...To put together
Some advertising spots...
We accept.

...And a few bucks
To buy airtime.

We accept.

Clayton, put the desperation
On hold.

I already got myself
Into trouble once tonight

With this question, but I'm
Gonna ask it again anyway.

Do you expect anything
In return?

That's a fair question,
And the answer is yes.

What?
I want to help put that man
In office who said,

"The main responsibility
Of government

"Is to do for the people

What they cannot do
For themselves."

I'm afraid
That's not gonna happen.

Why not?

Well, the man who said it
Was abraham lincoln.

But I heard you say it
At the press club.

Look, I borrowed it
From lincoln.

Is that
A problem for you?

No, mr. Dubois.

As long as you believe
In those words,

My offer still stands.

In that case, in my own words,
We accept.

Great.

Well, let's get out of here.
Buy you guys a couple of beers.

I'll lock up.

You couldn't have come
At a better time, you know?

I know, but don't thank me now.
I haven't done anything.

Okay.

Looks like we're still
In this one, huh?

You're damn right
We are.

[ chuckles ]

Uh, I'm sorry I keep messing up
This promo.

I need
A few minutes to relax.

That's all right,
Go ahead.

We've got to change
The tape anyway.

[ all talking ]

Uh, guys,
Guys, guys, guys!

We can't all talk
At once.

Benson
Is absolutely right.

I'm the campaign manager.
I should talk first.

Wait a minute.
I'm in charge of scheduling.

I say who goes first.

I'm the senior statesman
In the room.

Hey, what ever happened to
"Out of the mouths of babes"?

Well, I'm the candidate.
Perhaps I should go first.

Well, all in favor,
Say, "Aye."

Aye. Aye.
Aye. Aye.

Well, thank you
For that ringing endorsement.

Now, we all know
What the problem is.

Yeah, everybody knows your
Opponent and nobody knows you.

Basically, that's it.

But these radio spots
That you're doing should help.

Well, yeah, the radio spots
Should help.

I think we got
A bigger problem.

Now, the public perceives tyler
As a veteran politician,

A guy
Who knows the ropes.

They see you
As a newcomer.

That is
What our research shows.

And the only remedy is to go
Head-to-head with tyler,

And he's already refused
To debate.

Well, there's got to be some way
We can get to him.

Uh, benson, we're ready to try
That spot again.

Okay, max, sure.

Okay, keep thinking about it.
We've got to get to tyler.

[ all talking ]

Okay, here goes nothing.

Don't worry about it.

There's plenty of tape
On the new reel.

Listen, nobody expects you to be
A professional announcer,

So relax.

Okay, okay, I'm ready.

Benson dubois political promo,
Take .

You have
To rub it in, huh?

The tape is rolling.

Okay.
Uh, hello, there.

Uh, would you like
A new voice in government?

Cut.

How many times
Do I have to tell you --

You can't
Rattle the paper.

Just leave it
On the stand.

Yeah, I forgot, I forgot.
Okay, I forgot.

Dubois promo,
Take....

I heard that.

The tape's rolling.

Hello.

Would you like a new voice
In government?

My name is benson budois.

[ laughs ]

What you laughing about?

You said "Budois."

[ laughs ]

I didn't say
Benson budois.
Yes, you did.

You're crazy.
I said benson bu-- oh.

Hey, man,
There's not enough air

In these little rooms,
Is there?

Come on, come on,
We're getting a little punchy.

Dubois promo,
Take .

We just did .

I know, but I didn't want
To take a chance

On running out of numbers.

[ laughs ]

[ telephone rings ]

I'd love to give you some slack
On this, archbishop,

But mr. Dubois cannot be there
Any earlier than :.

Thank you for your understanding
Und support, archbishop.

Of course, that's your gig.

Bye-bye.

Hey, benson, how'd the speech go
In burlington?

Burlington?
Is that where I was?

I tell you, they're all
Beginning to run together.

Well, wherever I was,
The speech went great.

That's good.

Great?!
It was stunning!

This man spoke for minutes
Without a prepared text.

Had them in the palm
Of his hand.

Look at this!
Look at this, look at this.

We are gaining on tyler.

We're only points
Behind in the latest poll.

Governor:
Listen to this.

"Dubois tough
Fourth-quarter competitor."

I made the sports page?
Let me see that.

No, no,
It's spivak's column.

He's already calling you
A winner.

Miss kraus:
Clayton, telephone.

Benson,
Listen to this!

"Dubois' upbeat campaign seems
To be gathering momentum"!

This is incredible!

The michael jackson concert's
Coming to capital city!

Let me see that!

Pete, get on the phone.

Find out how I can take credit
For this michael jackson thing.

[ chuckling ]
You got it, buddy.
No, it's a joke.

Ha ha ha!
We got him on the ropes!

We got who
On the ropes?

Tyler.
That was his campaign manager.

He wants to debate.

Great.
When can we do it?

Never.
I told him to kiss off.

Put your pucker back on!
I want that debate!

Benson, it is one week
Before the elections.

You're coming on strong.

Why give that jerk
A chance to score points?

Because this is what we've been
Pushing for since the beginning!

That was when
You were losing.

Now you've got momentum.

I say, lay back,
Let the big mo take over.

Governor,
What do you think?

These radio spots have been
Very effective for you,

And debating tyler
Could be tricky.

He is
A slippery little twerp.

Well, I've just got
To take my chances.

Don't do it, benson.

I can't run
From this fight.

Do whatever
You think best.

Clayton, call tyler's people and
Tell them I'm ready to debate.

You go get him,
Benson.

That slippery little twerp's
Gonna regret the day

He ever heard the name
Benson dubois.

Yeah! Yeah!
Yeah! Yeah!

Well, any final questions,
Benson?

Mnh-mnh.
I'm ready.

Good, good.
Don't be nervous.

I'm fine.
Good, good.

'cause the television cameras
Can tell if you're nervous.

I'm not nervous.

Oh, good.
That's good.

Oh, and one other thing --
Don't sweat...

...'cause sweaty people lose.

Would you do me a favor?

Yeah, sure.

Have this conversation
With tyler,

And see if you can make
His shoulders as tense as mine.

He does look very relaxed,
Doesn't he?

Gentlemen,
If you'll take your seats,

I think we're about ready
To begin.

Wish me luck.

You don't need it.

Good,
'cause I didn't get any.

Good evening and welcome to the
Lieutenant governor's debate.

I'm your moderator,
And my name is harrison fowler.

The questions that I'm going
To be asking

Our candidates this evening

Have been submitted by citizens
From all over the state.

Oh, how long does this
Boring stuff go on?

Shh!

His bank holds the mortgage
On our house.

And now for the candidates.

On the left is the former
State budget director --

Mr. Benson dubois.

[ applause ]

And on the right

Is the distinguished
Four-term state senator --

Leonard tyler.

[ applause ]

Now, our first question this
Evening is from mr. Carl perlo.

He asks, "What do you plan to do
About this stinking economy?"

Mr. Dubois?

Well, that's
A fairly broad question.

I suppose I can only answer
By saying that,

As you know, economic matters
Are of prime importance to me.

Um...Uh, well,

Insofar as specific programs
Are concerned, mr. Fowler,

Let me point
To my record as budget director

And the diverse projects
That I initiated.

Thank you very much.

I have no idea
What he just said.

Yeah,
Neither does he.

Senator tyler, what do you plan
To do about the economy?

I'm gonna do
Whatever it takes.

This is a great state,
Full of great people,

And we can pull ourselves
Out of this slump.

Our next question comes from a
Miss candy fernell of mount ivy.

Senator, I will address
This question to you first.

She writes, "I hear so much
About unemployment.

How many people actually work
In this state?"

About half of them.
[ chuckles ]

[ chuckles sarcastically ]

Uh, no,
In all seriousness,

Um, we all care deeply
About unemployment.

And I stand behind
The working man ,%.

Mr. Dubois?
Thank you, mr. Fowler.

I think the senator is taking
The problem of unemployment

Far too lightly.

Seems to me that what the people
Of this state want to know

Is what government plans to do
For those people

Who, for one reason or another,
Cannot work.

Now, in the past,
We've devoted our energies

On social-welfare issues
To protecting political turf

And disbursed
Our benefits according

To the relative muscle
Of the claimants.

We ought to now be devoting
Our energies

To determine where
There is a real need

And to discover what government
Can do to help.

And I really
Want to hear

The senator's view
On this issue.

Well, mr. Dubois,
Before I can respond,

I'll need a translator
To tell me what you just said.

[ chuckles ]

I'm aware, senator, that
I may be a little long-winded

And perhaps a little
Too complex for you.

[ crowd murmurs ]

But at least I'm attempting
To address the issue

Rather than perform some
Worn-out vaudeville routine.

Mr. Dubois, you can rant
And rave all you want.

The voters of this state

Don't want a bunch
Of giveaway programs.

Senator, your statement
Is a perfect example

Of the real problem.

For you, politics
Is nothing more

Than a matter of tactics
And techniques.

I don't see any real commitment
To solutions.

Your only commitment seems to be
To seeking re-election.

You could be called the
One-commitment candidate, too.

In what way, senator?

It's very obvious,
Mr. Dubois,

That you are
The black candidate.

[ crowd murmurs ]

It's also equally obvious,
Senator tyler,

That you are
The bald candidate.

But I wouldn't,
For one minute,

Assume that
Your constituency

Consists entirely
Of bald people,

Although that's possible.

It's also clear, senator,

That what you are doing
By labeling my candidacy

Is trying to divert attention
From the real issues,

Rather than dealing
With their substance.

I put it to you, senator.

It is time for us
To put our efforts

Into restoring a sense
Of community to this state,

To create a politics
More dedicated to honesty

And curiosity than
To maintaining position.

It's time to consider
New approaches

And to allow ourselves
To argue about them

Free of self-interest.

And maybe then we can stop
Denying that problems exist

And begin to work together
To achieve solutions

For the good
Of all the people.

[ cheers and applause ]

Well, benson, the polls have
Been closed for three hours now.

We should hear
Some results real soon.

I wish somebody
Would tell my stomach that.

Oh, I know exactly
What you're going through.

You going
To tell me a story?

Okay.

Hooray! All right!

Channel has just predicted
You the winner.

It's good sign,
Isn't it, benson?

Well, not with those guys,
Katie.

They can't even predict

When they're gonna have
A commercial.

Uh, uh, benson,
I, um [clears throat]

I wonder if I could speak
To you for a moment in private.

[ clears throat ]

Yeah, what is it,
Clayton?

Benson, we've been through

A great deal together
During this campaign.

So?

[ sighs ]

I think it's fair to say
That we've grown

To know each other better
As individuals.

And?

And before
The cheering starts

And you get swept away
In all the festivities,

Just one thing
I want you to know

From the bottom
Of my heart.

What's that?

You owe me.

For what?

I made you.

You made me?

Well, that's gonna come
As a big surprise

To my mother and father.

Katie: oh!

Got some bad news here.

Channel just predicted tyler
To be the winner.

Benson?
Hmm?

I just want you to know

That it has been an honor
Working on your campaign.

Zo?

We've come a long way together,
You and I, benson.

Und?

Und before
This night is over,

You may be
The new lieutenant governor.

Well, thank you, kraus.
That's very nice to say.

Unless, of course, tyler
Stomps your face into the dirt.

Bavarian battle-a*.

[ cheering ]

Tyler has conceded!

We only lost
Three key counties!

That means you are
The next lieutenant governor!

[ cheering ]

I don't believe it!

Somebody else say it!

You are the new
Lieutenant governor!

Speech! Speech!

Say something,
Benson.

Yeah, yeah, well, I guess
I should say something.

Um, uh, gee,
I don't know what to say.

Uh, governor, friends,

Fellow campaign workers,

Uh, I just want you to know,
From the bottom of my heart,

Uh, oh, boy, oh, boy, oh, boy,

I'm the new lieutenant governor!

[ cheering ]