03x04 - Bus Stop

[bunniefuu]

Yes, ma'am.

We're right around the
corner from McDougal Alley.

You'll recognize it, uh,

by the blue-and-white
cars out front.

Uh, and the expired meters.

And no tickets on
the windshields.

Eh.

Uh... You don't
think Fish would mind

if I used one of
his pencils, do you?

No, I don't think so.

I know... You know,
I know how guys...

You working
together a long time,

I know how tight you are and
I'm just... I'm an outsider here,

just filling in, temporarily,
while Fish is out,

so, uh...

I mean, if... Don't
hesitate to tell me

if I'm stepping out of
bounds or anything.

Yeah, don't worry
about it, Dietrich.

Okay.

I just don't wanna
step on anybody's toes.

Can anybody drink that coffee?

[SIGHS] Yeah.

Uh, Nick, you got the
Hinman file for me?

Can't find it.

It wasn't under H?

No.

How about, uh, B? Burglary?

Barney, the files
are all screwed up.

Well, I thought you were
gonna straighten them out for me.

I don't know where to start.

How about A?

I can't find it.

Nick, this... This is not funny.

I gotta have that file
and I want those drawers

put in some semblance
of a rational order.

Yes, sir.

Uh, what about you?

How about my arrest
reports for last month?

I'm working on them, Barney,
but I got stuck on something.

On what?

Well, this. Um...

"The suspect then
turned on Officer Sloan

and att*cked him with the..."

I need a word that
means "savage,"

but in a premeditated way.

Use that.

Too awkward.

This is an arrest report, not a
literary masterpiece. Come on!

People downtown have
come to expect something more

when they see my
name on a report.

Forget your reputation.
Give me the report.

Okay, Barney, but I'm
gonna use my pseudonym.

[COUGHS]

Good morning, Dietrich.

How's everything going?

Fine.

How about you? You feel okay?

Yeah, fine.

Because I noticed you
had a little twinge over there.

Just a little heartburn.

How old a man are you, captain?

What?

Well, you know, when
you get to a certain age,

you gotta be more
cautious. You gotta watch...

Keep your eye on
your blood pressure,

and cholesterol level
and emotional irritation.

Thank you.

Listen, uh, if you get a chance,

why don't you
take a look at this?

"Are You Courting a Coronary?"

That's good reading.

Thank you.

I... I studied medicine
for nine months.

Really? What happened?

Nothing. I just became a cop.

Hi, Nick. Morning, Woj.

Hi, Barn.

Uh, mail in yet?

No, you expecting something?

Oh. Official business.

Where's Fish?

Oh, he's not coming in today.

What's the matter with him now?

An old ailment acting up again.

You mean the one where
he can't sit down too good?

Yes, that's the one
I was referring to,

and it's not a laughing matter.

Um, yeah, I... I know,

it's just hard to sympathize

with something you never had.

You're young yet.

Yeah, thanks.

Uh, Barney. BARNEY: Uh-huh.

A, uh, bus went out of control

and crashed into a
building over on th Street.

They, uh, think it was a hijack.

Hijack? Yeah.

Wojo, go with Harris. You bet.

Man, you know, I ain't never
even been on a bus in this town.

You're kidding.

Yeah. I can't afford
a cab, I don't go.

You'll go broke taking cabs.

Plus, um, I stay home a lot.

[DOOR CLOSES]

Here. The Hinman Report.

Oh, thank you.

Just out of curiosity,
what was it under?

Some magazines.

[♪♪♪]

Good morning. What
are you doing here?

I work here.

Or at least I used to.

I thought you were gonna go
to the doctor and then home.

Well, I decided
at a time like this

I should be among friends.

Old friends.

I didn't think you were
coming in today, Fish.

Obviously. I can move my stuff.

I'll use another desk.

Why don't I move my
stuff to another desk?

Listen, it's easy.

What I'll do is I'll take
my stuff off your desk

and I'll go find another desk.

What, uh...? What's the verdict?

I'm gonna have
that operation. Good.

You should've had it six months
ago when you were supposed to.

Well, they gave me a bad room.

They put me in with a screamer.

[CLEARS THROAT]

Looks like we're gonna
be bunking together.

Okay, ladies, gentleman.
Step right inside, please.

You know, this is the
first time I've been robbed

in a moving vehicle.

It's the same.

Uh, you want to have a
seat right here, please?

[CLEARS THROAT]

What's the story?

It's a holdup all
the way, Barney.

These the passengers?
Uh, that's some of them.

Wojo's bringing the rest
of them in another car.

The, uh, suspect jumped off
the bus as soon as it crashed.

But we cordoned
the block off, so...

Nobody cares nothing
about protecting the buses.

I mean, you could
bring a bazooka on there

as long as you pay the fare
and don't spit on the floor.

Uh, Barney, this is Mr. Strand.

He was the, uh, bus driver.

What's that supposed to mean?

What?

You're looking
for a fall guy, huh?

Well, look someplace else.

Mr. Strand, Detective Harris
isn't accusing you of anything.

He's just identifying you to me.

Well, why single me out?

There are two other people
here he could've identified.

Uh, Barney, this
is Miss Lambert,

this is Mr. Quentin,

and neither of them
was the bus driver.

You see? You see?
Punching, punching, punching.

All right, all right, all right.

Now, look...

We got some questions... We got
some questions we wanna ask you.

All of you.

So if you'll just have a seat,

we'll try and make it
as painless as possible.

Mr. Quentin, will you have
a seat over here, please?

Ooh. What's the matter?

Uh, just a slight
throbbing from the crash.

Maybe you wanna
go to the hospital.

Oh, no, no, no. I'll
have it seen to later.

You want me to
take a look at it?

You a doctor?

I don't... I don't
like to talk about it.

Okay, Mrs. Pierce.

Why don't you have a
seat right over there?

Mr. Cranston.

Look, I... I told you before, I
really don't have time for this.

I got time.

But not a lot.

You got a whole
room full of witnesses.

How many more do you
need for God's sakes?

Oh, we try to squeeze in as
many as we can, Mr. Cranston.

It helps block our
view of the squalor.

Oh, did the mail come in yet?

Uh, no. You sure?

What are you waiting for?

Uh, well, I... I took the
sergeant's exam again.

Hey. Results are due today.

Hey, good luck.

Detective Sergeant Wojciehowicz.

Fits.

Of course, uh, I'm not worried.

I mean, uh, it's
not that important.

I mean, uh, it's
not like it's, uh,

life or death or
something like that.

Yeah, sure, you
make it, you make it.

If you don't, you don't.

What do you mean, "If I don't"?

Forget I said it.

How can this happen
in a civilized city?

What are we...? What...? What
are we paying police for? Huh?

Oh, shut up, Harry, they're
doing the best they can.

Hey, you two know each other?

Yes. No.

I... I... I... I met
her on the bus.

Okay.

[WHISTLING]

Here you go, Mrs. Pierce.

Is that okay?

Good and strong.

Just the way I like it.

I bet you like it that way too.

Uh, yeah, I do.

Uh, y-you can tell a lot about
a man by the way he, uh...

He takes his coffee.

Maybe we better, uh,

just get this statement
out of the way, Mrs. Pierce.

Uh, my last husband
took his real strong.

And hot.

Uh...

Yeah, right.

Uh, he... Pierce.

He was a... A lumberjack.

Muscles out to here,
thighs like concrete.

Uh, what's your first
name, Mrs. Pierce?

God, I miss those thighs.

[INDISTINCT CHATTERING]

Just keep it down, huh?

We got a couple other
things going on here.

God, how long
have I been in there?

It's all one crime.

Thank you.

I heard about the
operation you're going in for.

It's nothing to worry about.

It's a serious procedure,

but it's something performed
successfully every day.

The biggest problem is
people letting their fears

and imagination get out of hand.

I'm not worried.
I got a fine doctor

and it's a very good hospital.

Of course, there
are no guarantees.

Ah, sure, it was all
gonna be different.

You were gonna tell your wife.

Everything was
gonna be aboveboard,

no more hiding me, no
more sneaking around,

no more meeting in dark bars.

Hang on, hang on.
"No more hiding..."

Don't put that down.

It's her statement.
Yeah, put it down.

[GROANS] [MUMBLING]

That's him, the lousy creep!

I been with the
company years!

Harris, put him in the cage.

That's where you
belong, the crummy punk!

Somebody kick
him where it counts.

Maniac!

Hey, what's with the names?

If you dented my
cigarette case...

[ALL SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY]

All right!

[SIGHS]

You okay?

Uh, Barney? BARNEY: Yeah.

Here's the, uh, sack of
stuff that Brenner brought in.

All right, let's see
who claims what.

Okay, Barney. Nick,
give him a hand.

Where are you off to?

Uh, uh, Kogen called
from downstairs.

The mail's in. Oh?

There's a letter
from the exam board.

Good luck.

I went to the hospital.

The room I want isn't
available for a few weeks.

I can't take the day
off. I'm very busy here.

I got a lot of paperwork.

Bernice, it hurts just as
much to sit at the apartment

as it does here.
Stop worrying about it.

Uh... Uh... Uh, no, no,

it doesn't matter what
you make for dinner.

Uh, don't go to any trouble.

Jell-O is fine.

Any flavor but lime.

You said you were
gonna tell her about us.

You said you were
gonna be separated.

We are separated.

Twin beds is not separating.

You, uh... You wanna come over

and identify your possessions?

Oh, I wasn't robbed.

I guess he didn't
have time to get to me.

You're an honest man.

There's a lot of
nice stuff over there.

How's your neck?

Oh, pretty much the same.

You ought to give it time.

I'll look in on
you a little later.

Did you get the results?

Huh? Uh, yeah.

Well?

Uh, s-same as usual. I failed.

You wanna come into the office?
I wanna have a word with you.

Uh, I can't, Barn. I got
a lot of work to do here.

I don't wanna pull rank on you.

Why not?

You got it, might
as well enjoy it.

Okay, ladies, gentlemen,
if you'll come over

and, uh, identify your
personal property, please.

Oh, that... That...
That's my wallet,

There's a picture inside. There.

Nice-looking lady.

Not bad.

Some classy group.

Eighteen people, $ .

A whole stack of transfers.

You lousy creep,
where's my transfers?

All right, come on, Strand,
come on, come on, ease off.

Ah, it's my own fault.

I used to stick up
cabs. Nice, quiet.

That's what you find on buses.

Uh... Uh, sir, uh, I
had a beaded purse

with $ and a
bottle of vitamin E.

Yes, ma'am.

So you failed one test.

If at first you don't succeed...

It's not the first,
Barn. It's the fourth.

I'm going for a record.

Well, the idea is to benefit

from one's past failures.

Yeah, I... I've benefited
from four failures

and I'm still staying
Wojciehowicz,

Detective Third Grade.

So chalk it up to
experience and grow with it.

Barn, experience
helps a lot of people,

but it ain't never
done nothing for me.

That is a defeatist attitude.

No, I can take it.

I mean, let, uh... Let Yemana

and Fish and Harris go out

and lead the w*r against crime.

I'll stay here and
I'll type and I'll file

and I'll do my job.

And I'll be the best
Third-Grade cop

for the rest of my natural life.

It's okay with me.

That's the way you want it?

That's the way I want it.

[SCOFFS]

I'm just gonna take this
letter and I'm gonna...

chuck it right into
the wastebasket.

As soon as I can
get my hand open.

Uh, Barney, we got problems.

What? Well, none of the victims

are gonna sign the, uh,
complaints against Brenner.

Wonderful. Five minutes ago
they were screaming for his blood.

They say that don't want
to get any more involved.

All right, ladies and
gentlemen, what's the trouble?

Well, it seems to me that
we spent enough time here.

We got our stuff,
you got your punk

and I have a business to run.

We're not gonna be able
to do much with our punk

unless we get your
statements as witnesses.

And spend a whole day in court?

Unfortunately, that's
part of what we call

the American
judicial system, yes.

Might be nice. I've never
seen you in the morning.

[GROANS]

I ain't taking any more
time off from work.

You know how many guys
are in line waiting for my job?

I don't want to get involved.

You're already involved.

From your mouth to his ear.

Aren't you the guy who
was yelling that the police

for falling down on the job?

Well, it's time for you to
take some responsibility!

We need your
statements as witnesses.

We need your testimony in court.

You're not allowed to do that!
That's badgering a witness!

Clam up, Brenner.

How about you, ma'am?
How do you feel about it?

Well, I... I... I want
to sign, but I'm afraid.

Afraid? Of what?

Uh... that punk's friends.

They... They remember
somebody who squeals.

Yeah, they... They'll come
in the middle of the night,

they'll tie me up, they'll...
They'll tear at my clothing...

You're letting your
imagination get the better of you.

That's all I got left, captain.

How about you, Miss
Lambert? What do you think?

Well, uh, goodbye.

Oh, it was nice to meet you.

I'll take you home.

Uh, no, thanks. I
wanna take a cab.

A woman in my condition
should never ride another bus.

Condition? What...? What...?
What...? What condition?

Who knows? Maybe
I have heart trouble.

Oh, God, I hope so.

Listen, I gotta get out of
here. You know how it is.

Yeah, sure, Strand,
we know how it is.

I mean, they'll probably
let him off anyway.

It's all a waste of time.

Yeah, thanks to you
and your defeatist attitude.

Hear, hear.

If you ever get out here, I'm
warning you, stay off my bus!

Wonderful to see you, weirdo.

[LAUGHING]

[DOOR SLAMS]

You know, guys like that
give me such a headache.

Oh, yeah?

Uh, well, I'm, uh,
I'm ing now, captain.

BARNEY: We'll contact
you if we need you.

Uh, the big one has my number.

Uh, have him call me.

I'll do that.

Soon.

Soon.

The big one.

[DOOR CLOSES]

Oh, Mr. Quentin, I forgot
about you completely.

What do you say?
Oh, I'd like to help you...

Good. Dietrich,
bring the statement.

We'll have Mr. Quentin
sign it. Oh, but I can't.

Mr. Quentin, there has
been a crime committed.

We like to discourage
that sort of thing

and we need your help.

Oh, well, I'm a little
hazy on the facts.

You were robbed, weren't you?

No, he wasn't robbed.

But you saw other
people being robbed, then.

Oh, I guess so.
You hurt your back.

Uh, y-yeah... I thought
it was your neck.

W-well, it's all together.

Where did you get on
that bus, Mr. Quentin?

Uh, th Avenue and,

uh, th Street, I think.

It was a cross-town bus.

Well, I... I said I was
hazy on the facts.

You got on that bus
after the crash, didn't you?

Why...? Why would
I do a thing like that?

Insurance fraud.

How about that? Good guess?

Well, I mean,

people do it every
day, don't they?

Insurance companies got plenty.

They get a break on... On taxes.

They soak us pretty good, right?

That's an opinion.

But they do it legally.
[BRENNER WHISTLES]

Hey, Quentin, Quentin.
Come on in here with me.

There's plenty of room.

[LAUGHING]

Knock it off.

Am I free to go?

Fortunately, you
didn't go too far.

I... I could've signed
that statement.

You never would have known.

"Conscience doth
make cowards of us all."

Very well put.

Can you believe that?
You know what it is?

What? Sinus trouble.

Okay, Harris, you and Dietrich

take our friend over
to Manhattan South.

Tell them about the witnesses.

Tell them to swear
out subpoenas.

Tell them to do
whatever they want.

Okay, Barney. Nick, Wojo,

you two go over to the hospital.

Maybe we can get some statements

from some of the
other passengers.

All right.

Hey, Barn. Huh?

I like your style.

I never had it as a Third Grade.

Okay, Brenner, let's go.

Easy, easy, I got
sinus trouble. Right?

I'd stake my professional
reputation on it.

[PHONE RINGS]

Twelfth Precinct. Fish.

Yes, Bernice.

I'm fine.

I was in the bathroom.

I must have dozed off.

What day is this?

"State of New York Penal Code"?

A little light reading?

Uh, yeah, well,

I'm gonna take
another cr*ck at it.

Five's the magic number.

That's three.

Who asked you?

You know how they
make doughnuts?

They fry them in
ho t. Cholesterol.

You know about cholesterol?

It builds up in little globules
in your veins and arteries.

Clogs them up so blood
can't get to your heart.

No, no, Nick, they don't
tell you that on the box.

I thought it might
be like cigarettes.

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]